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You’re either in front of Guido, or you are behind…
Today is International Men’s Day, the annual holiday on which we are asked to “recognise and celebrate the cultural, political, and socioeconomic achievements of men”. This year it happens to fall on the day Joe Biden has booked his colonoscopy.
Biden is going under general anaesthetic for the procedure, which means that for the first time in history, a woman will have control of the executive branch of the US government. Kamala Harris will assume the presidency in an acting capacity while doctors use a camera to explore the President’s rectum. Given how much time the US media have spent up there in the last year, Guido’s sure Biden won’t find the routine too uncomfortable…
Despite his annus horribilis, persona non grata Gavin Williamson’s scheme to offer Latin lessons to state school kids is still being pushed ahead by his successor. A contract just launched by the government, and spotted by Guido, confirms the £4 million bill for its “Latin Excellence Programme“. To quote verbatim it is to:
“…improve pupils’ attainment via increased access to, and uptake of, GCSE in Latin, as part of contributing to pupils’ broader Classics education.”
The scheme will be offered ad hoc across 40 state schools as part of a four-year pilot scheme, with the hope to eventually move on from the current status quo of limited classics provision. Guido would have thought teaching kids how to code would been more useful, after all tempora mutantur, nos et mutamur in illis…
Hamas has slammed Priti Patel after this morning declaring she would proscribe the terrorist group next week. In this morning’s announcement she also warned that supporters of Hamas could face up to 10 years in jail. Guido pointed out Jeremy must be crestfallen…
In a statement published to the Hamas website the soon-to-be proscribed terrorist group expressed their “shock and dismay” over the decision and decided to “strongly condemn” the move:
“On this occasion, as we strongly condemn this decision, we call on all Palestinian factions and supporters of the Palestinian cause in Europe, in general, and Britain, in particular, to denounce the UK’s decision as a continuation of its aggression on the Palestinian people and their inalienable rights, which started more than one hundred years ago.”
“We believe that resisting the Israeli occupation with all means possible, including armed resistance, is a guaranteed right for peoples under occupation as per international law.”
Responding to the statement, a Home Office source tells Guido, “I think we will cope”.
