Friday, February 6, 2009

Gordon’s Other Eye in Downing Street

Jeremy Clarkson has apologised for mocking Gordon Brown’s appearance – note he did not apologise for calling him an idiot. So the matter is closed says a Downing Street spokesman.

Guido can’t help wondering if the person who chose to hang David Austen’s “Green Electric Morning – Eye” picture from the National Art Collection on the wall in Downing Street might also be having a laugh.

Wonder what Gordon thinks of it everytime he spies the eye out of the side of his one good eye?

Perhaps he uses it as a target for his Nokias?

Tax Justice Protest Against Guardian Tax Dodging

Tax Justice campaigners had a small demonstration outside the Guardian’s offices today to protest at the hypocrisy of the Guardian campaigning for FTSE 100 companies to pay more corporation tax when, despite GMG making £300 million in profits last year, it paid none itself. GMG took advantage of a perfectly legal loophole to avoid paying taxes on the capital gains made on the sale of Auto Trader. Without exploiting the law they would have had to pay more than £50 million in tax!

The campaigners also highlighted that as well as being adept tax avoiders nowadays, the Guardian’s heritage is one of tax evasion. The Trust that owns the paper, the C P Scott Trust, was set up for the sole purpose of avoiding death duties following the 1932 death of C P Scott. By depriving the revenue of its due, the Scott family succeeded in avoiding the heavy taxes which would have otherwise meant them selling their interest in the paper. Neat dodge, eh? What did the Guardian say about Osborne’s plan to raise inheritance tax thresholds?

It is ridiculous hypocrisy for the GMG fatcats to lecture the CEO’s of British industry on paying more corporation tax when they don’t pay a penny themselves. At the very least they should voluntarily pay the £600,000 that would have been payable as a result of the Auto Trader transaction on the transfer of GMG Hazel Acquisition 1 Limited (a Caymans incorporated Special Purpose Vehicle) if it had been incorporated in the UK rather than the Caymans. If they won’t pay the £600,000 to the Revenue, why do they expect other corporations to behave differently? Hypocrites.

Friday Caption Competition (Clarkson for PM Edition)

Jonah Brown Update

Guido is finding it difficult to keep up to date with reports of Brown’s post-visit accursed effects. Co-conspirators email them in almost daily. If Guido can find the time he is going to plot them on a map as we did before with Where’s Gordon?™.


Here are two recent examples of the curse in terrible action:

Liverpool radio DJ Phil Easton dies after interviewing Gordon
The prime minister has led the tributes to legendary Liverpool broadcaster Phil Easton. Gordon Brown was recently interviewed by him for his show on CityTalk. The PM said: “Phil was an accomplished and talented broadcaster who was on the top of his game when we met just a few weeks ago.

Workers face axe at Cwmbran PM visit factory
Around 40 workers at a Cwmbran factory are set to lose their jobs, just weeks after the firm was visited by Prime Minister Gordon Brown. Cwmbran’s Contour Premium Aircraft Seating announced a “proposed head count reduction” of up to 40 employees on Wednesday.

Is Guido the only one to notice that after Downing Street boasted that Gordon was the first world leader to call Obama, the U.S. President began pushing a “Buy America” bill. Gordon talked to Obama about the dangers of protectionsim.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Blair Blesses Obama


Guido’s co-religionist, Tony Blair, was in Washington today to bless the Obamessiah. Tony was witty, articulate and respected.

Guido never liked Tony, but he wasn’t a national embarrassment, he was Prime Ministerial. Can you imagine Gordon stumbling over his words, banging his head against the microphone, calling the new president George. You get the cringe-worthy picture. No wonder Obama wanted Tony.

No Tory Totty Pictures from the Ball

You will be disappointed to know that Guido has obtained no photos from last night’s Tory Black & White Ball. Cameron and Coulson were determined that no glossy glamorous photos should leak out in these credit crunch times…

Any co-conspirators in a position to help?

UPDATE : Not a single snap has been forthcoming. The prospect of power clearly brings discipline. Guido remembers when the Tories were fun…

UPDATE II : Rumour has it that the Daily Star has pictures tomorrow. Sam Cam is finally a Star-bird. She will be thrilled.

Go On Dave, Give the Hugh Grant Speech

So the Americans arranged for the torture of a British resident and held him in Guantánamo Bay without charge, but all this must remain secret because the Yanks have threatened to stop sharing intelligence with Britain. That would directly threaten Britain’s national security, David Miliband has told a judge. So that is it as far as this government is concerned.

David Davis is demanding a Commons statement from the government on the ruling, calling it “a matter of utmost national importance”. Nothing however from Dave, so far, on the subject. When the above scene from Love Actually played in cinemas, the audiences spontaneously applauded and cheered. That apolitical audiences at a romantic comedy respond like that tells us something profound, Britons know in their hearts, across the political spectrum, that successive governments have been too subservient to U.S. interests. Humiliatingly subservient.

Guido is pro-American, don’t misunderstand. There is no doubt that Anglo-American friendship has served the world well for a century. Friendship does not require subservience. Friends speak frankly, friends respect each other for telling the truth to their face. Go on Dave, give the Hugh Grant speech. It would be great for Britain.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Clarke : Tony Wanted Me to Be Heir

Charles Clarke claims in an interview in the New Statesman that Tony Blair “wanted me to be foreign secretary because he thought that if I had been foreign secretary and home secretary I would be a credible opponent to Gordon, as the leader of the party. And this had been his long-standing strategy, and that was what he had been intending to do, and that’s what he hoped to do.”

Funny, he is rumoured to have wanted exactly the same for David Miliband. Who to believe?

The Name is Truscott, Peter Truscott, Double-Oh-One (of Them)

Guido has been speaking to people who knew Baron Truscott when he was just a lowly local Labour councillor. They are amazed that nowadays he is the emissary of shady characters who would make good Bond villains. He is director of two firms controlled by Frank Timis, the twice convicted heroin dealer, who owns African Minerals, (formerly called the Sierra Leone Diamond Company). The widely rumoured idea that he might be some kind of “asset” for British intelligence is laughed at, Truscott would never have passed positive vetting they say.

Guido refuses to dismiss the possibility, after all, even in less progressive times than now, MI6 has had agents of ambiguous sexuality. Unfortunately they were double-agents.

Gordon’s Depression Slip

At PMQs Brown said: “We should agree as a world on a monetary and fiscal stimulus that will take the world out of r… depression.”

Like when he said he had “saved the world”, it gives an insight into what he is really thinking…

UPDATE : Worldwide the press are starting to latch on to the first world leader to talk openly of a “depression”.


Seen Elsewhere

Tory MP Tells Leftie Jon Snow to Retire | Guardian
Russell Brand’s New Book “Sub-Undergraduate Dross” | Telegraph
Tory MP Barrister Represents Monaco Billionaire | Scrapbook
MOBO Singers Slam UKIP | ITV
Could UKIP Keep Britain in the EU? | Iain Martin
Why Piketty is Wrong | ConHome
Guido Whips Politicians Into Shape | Guardian
Milburn Levelling Down | Kathy Gyngell
Crosby and Carswell Make Friends at Guido’s Dinner | Mail
Mrs Danczuk Beats Mensch to Win Guido | Telegaph
PM Congratulates Blogger Who Destroyed Minister | Mail


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Rob Colvile reviews Russell Brand’s new book:

“Oddly, the person I feel sorriest for isn’t Brand himself – although he certainly comes across as a rather pitiable figure, projecting his own brokenness on to the world around him – but Johann Hari. Drummed out of Fleet Street for plagiarism, the former Independent columnist has washed up as “my mate Johann, who’s been doing research for this book”. For a genuinely talented polemicist, it would have been a humbling experience to have to treat this sub-undergraduate dross as the scintillating wisdom of a philosopher-king.”



Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!


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