Good News, Bad News for the Monkey

Well he’ll wake up pleased to know that Hilary Benn, for whom he is campaigning, is according to YouGov, the favourite for deputy amongst Labour party members and trade unionists. He’ll also discover that Margaret Thatcher is still alive despite his report to the contrary. Hungover?

Rich & Mark’s Monday Morning View

Cui Bono: Is Downing Street the Leak Source?

Guido is very wary as we enter the closing straights of the investigation. Downing Street is in serious trouble and the only defence advanced so far is that the peerage nominations were for “party peerages”. That is a non-existent class of honour and the admission in itself was effectively a confession, not a defence.

The BBC appears to be in a position to stand up the story going around in mid-January about a “Smoking Gun” email. Why else would the police want to injunct the story unless it was correct and revealing? The question is, who passed the email to the Beeb and what is their motive?

Fact : the BBC does not do cheque-book journalism.
Fact : Yates’ team are, whatever the spin from Downing Street apologists, very tight-lipped.

When news of arrests and interviews has come out, it has more often than not been from the politicians themselves. Given that the Beeb didn’t buy this story, who profits from revealing crucial police evidence? Not the investigators, which is why the police sought to suppress the story, because defence lawyers could make much mischief, and probably will, with the “trial by media” line.

To quote the most famous detective of all, “If you eliminate the impossible, whatever is left, even if improbable, must be true.” Those under investigation, now that they believe it no longer possible to “fix” the CPS because of the evidence known to have been discovered, have the most to benefit from bringing the evidence into the public domain. The desperadoes of Downing Street would not be above leaking against themselves, tactically it would also allow them to portray themselves as victims of media savvy police investigators. They already brief that the police are “theatrical” and whine that they are unable to publicly defend themselves from the “trial by media”.

These are dangerous times for Downing Street’s toughest street fighters. The gloves are definitely off, which is why Guido thinks this leak has Downing Street’s fingerprints on it.

House Keeping & Stat’ Porn

As the shadow of the coming Brownite tyranny draws ever nearer, Guido finds he turns increasingly to the well designed and conceived The Man Who Would Be King blog, which is something of a Gordon Brown information clearing house. It has become the latest addition to Guido’s blog-roll.

The much awaited redesign of Guido’s blog is nearing completion, some widget related issues remain to be resolved but an über-Geek is on the case. Google smoothly handled the transition from the old Blogger to the new Blogger 2.0 without losing a single one of the thousands of posts or tens of thousands of comments and they held Guido’s hand whilst he fretted. Guido loves GOOG.

In a change from the ususal stat’ porn this month (pageviews: 426,499, unique visitors: 286,901), Guido has taken a look at reader loyalty over the last quarter. Of the visitors, Google analytics shows just short of 60,000 hardcore co-conspirators have visited the site 200 or more times and at the other extreme 44,000 visited once and never came back. The above chart compares last month to a quarter ago. Students of media studies might want to investigate why Guido gets more readers than any other political commentary website in Britain, more than both the political parties, more than the Speccie or New Statesman, more than WebCameron. Why are our lying, sleazy politicians so unable to connect?

LibDems: “Corruption is a Crime”

“We can cut crime” – that’s the message from the Liberal Democrats’ spring conference in Harrogate, they even launched two new websites last night: a special blog to keep tabs on the multiple failures at the Home Office (www.homeofficewatch.com) and an online petition calling for a full inquiry into corruption allegations.

Excellent news. Perhaps they will now repay the defrauded £2.4m they got from their crooked backer who languishes in jail? Strangely nowhere on www.corruptionisacrime.com is Michael Brown mentioned…

++ INJUNCTION ++

Contrary to rumour, Guido has not been injuncted. He has been on the piss.

The email is news to the BBC, not readers of this blog.

Friday Caption Contest (Posh ‘n Butch Edition)

Phil Taylor Has Overnight Change of Plan

Yesterday he told Guido that he was resigning, that he had told the permanent secretary he was intending to resign and that he had already emailed his NIO colleagues telling them of his intentions. His trembling voice told Guido that as a result he’d be sacrificing his termination pay-off. Today he is telling people he is only taking unpaid leave at the end of the month.

Watch this space SpAd…

Has Bright Joined the Dark Side?

Guido has long respected the New Statesman’s Martin Bright as an investigative journalist, but his extended and continuing proximity to the Smith Institute seems to be compromising his objectivity. He wrote a very prissy and disingenuous defence of his employer, the New Statesman, when Guido pointed out that it is a Brownite fanzine which both cross-subsidises and houses the Sith HQ.
Now he is quoting discredited Sith propaganda in his article this week, claiming that Gordon Brown
is bolstered by a poll of 100 leading figures from the City, industry, media and politics carried out by Opinion Leader Research, which showed that 87 per cent believed what the Chancellor said, compared to 58 per cent for Cameron

That “poll of 100 leading figures from the City, industry, media and politics carried out by Opinion Leader Research” has zero credibility. The methodology is not one recognised by the rest of the polling industry. OLR is run by Brown’s personal pollster, Deborah Mattinson, she is always wheeled out with contrary “research” when Brown gets a bad press from negative polls from more objective organisations.

OLR also has a six-figure contract with HM Treasury. Martin Bright had the cheek to question Guido’s independence last month, how independent do you think that OLR poll might be?

Deborah Mattison also sits on the board of the Smith Institute and OLR does polling for them as well. The Sith’s office is all of six yards away from Martin Bright’s desk at the New Statesman. How independent is he?

The New Statesman publishes glossy corporate “sponsored supplements” for the Smith Institute, but not one single mention of the Smith Institute’s troubles has appeared on it’s pages…

Friday Lunch Alert

Guido has somehow managed to get himself into a cruel and unusual situation. No lunch booked on a Friday…

Shop-a-SpAd : Peter Hain’s SpAd Has Resigned

When Guido finally tracked down the elusive cheating Phil Taylor, he told Guido that it was already his intention to resign, that he had informed the permanent secretary that he was intending to resign and that it didn’t therefore matter. He was going to work on his boss’ campaign and had emailed the rest of the NIO that he was going already. Yeah right, still not quite sure that is good enough.

This of course means he will miss out on a fat termination pay-off. So he won’t be able to bleed the taxpayer another drop.

Just as well he has resigned because Guido has masses of evidence that he has been campaigning for Peter Hain. He would have had to go anyway.

No ifs, no buts, we’re targeting SpAd cheats. Call the national Shop-a-SpAd hotline on 0709 284 0531 or fax evidence to 0709 201 2337.

UPDATE : The SpAdless perma-tanned one is on Question Time tonight. What has happened to your SpAd Peter?

Shop-a-SpAd : First Cheat Identified

Guido asked readers this morning to watch out for breaches of the Ministerial Code by SpAds working for Labour deputy leadership candidates. A few tips have come in and a co-conspirator has even sent Guido documentary evidence of blatant SpAd cheating. In fact a SpAd fiddle plan. So be warned SpAd cheat, have your lunch and expect Guido to call for an explanation soon…

No ifs, no buts, we’re targeting SpAd cheats. Call the national Shop-a-SpAd hotline on 0709 284 0531 or fax evidence to 0709 201 2337.

UPDATE 16:00 : We have a SpAd missing-in-action and presumably on the run. Seems unable to answer his mobile all afternoon, do you think he knows Guido is on to him?

Crash Avoidance

Quick history of recent train crashes:

  • Southall – Occurred 19 September 1997; DPM John Prescott (with
  • responsibility for transport) visited the scene on the same day.
  • Ladbroke Grove – Occurred 5 October 1999; DPM John Prescott
  • (with responsibility for transport) visited the scene on the same day.
  • Hatfield – Occurred 17 October 2000; Transport Minister, Lord
  • Macdonald of Tradeston, visited the scene the next day.
  • Selby – Occurred 28 February 2001; DPM John Prescott (with
  • responsibility for transport) visited the scene on the same day.
  • Health Minister Yvette Cooper visited some of the injured at
  • Pontefract General Infirmary.
  • Potters Bar – Occurred 10 May 2002; Transport Secretary Stephen
  • Byers visited the scene the next day.
  • Ufton Nervet – Occurred 6 November 2004; Transport Secretary,
  • Alistair Darling visited the scene two days later.
Grayriggs – no ministerial visit. Branson was there within 12 hours despite being on a family holiday in Switzerland. Even the RMT’s General Secretary, Bob Crow visited the scene that night.

On Friday the 23rd of February Douglas Alexander was in Wales for the Welsh Labour Party conference. Returning to a Scottish constituency could have taken him through Cumbria. Labour is having some problems with their campaign in Scotland. Brownite loyalist Alexander is “steering strategy”. He is probably too busy fending off the SNP’s coming electoral kicking on Brown’s home territory to be bothered with his ministerial responsibilities.

UPDATE : Scottish Labour took a £6,000 donation from Network Rail Limited three months ago.

UPDATE II : Scottish Labour had a total of £11,000 from Network Rail Limited last year.

Profit from Politics

Those of you who took Guido’s advice and put some money on Milburn at 100/1 last night will be able to take profits and lay him at around 30/1 this morning. Even easier than investing in private equity…

Guido is Out to Catch SpAd Cheats

As the Labour party’s leadership campaign gets underway it is important to remind the bag carrying, greasy pole climbers about the Code of Conduct for Special Advisers.

It can be found on the Propriety and Ethics section of the Cabinet Office website – not something that most of them will be familiar with. The code is clear, they can’t assist in any way in a leadership campaign unless they are on leave. Catch a SpAd organising a campaign meeting on the office phone, via the office Blackberry or merely pinning on a “my boss for deputy leader” badge during office hours and they are in breach. This could provide Guido’s conspirators with a lot of fun.

So if you spot a SpAd in the Portcullis coffee shop making the case for votes for their boss, you know what to do. Call the national Shop-a-SpAd hotline on 0709 284 0531.

HMS Margaret Thatcher

Guido can not bring himself to even publicise the name of the non-entity MP calling for Maggie’s new statue to be removed from the Members Lobby. At the unveiling ceremony even the speaker, Gorbals Martin, graciously eulogised the woman who saved Britain from socialist decline.[…]

+ READ MORE +



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Recently unresigned Sarah Champion on Corbyn:

“Jeremys [sic] position is no longer tenable if we’re to be effective”

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

LILY COLE FRONTS BBC “CEO SECRETS” SERIES AFTER RUNNING COMPANY INTO GROUND LILY COLE FRONTS BBC “CEO SECRETS” SERIES AFTER RUNNING COMPANY INTO GROUND
Guardian Media Group’s Losses Total £173 Million Guardian Media Group’s Losses Total £173 Million
MCGINN WHIPPED LABOUR MPS TO “KEEP UP THE PRESSURE ON JC” MCGINN WHIPPED LABOUR MPS TO “KEEP UP THE PRESSURE ON JC”
VICTORIA’S SECRET LINGERIE AND 5 STAR HOTELS: WELSH GOVT’S £7.5 MILLION CREDIT CARD SPEND VICTORIA’S SECRET LINGERIE AND 5 STAR HOTELS: WELSH GOVT’S £7.5 MILLION CREDIT CARD SPEND
OWEN SMITH HIRES TOP PFIZER LOBBYIST TO RUN CAMPAIGN OWEN SMITH HIRES TOP PFIZER LOBBYIST TO RUN CAMPAIGN
HAMMOND FIBS AND SAUDI SLAVERY SLIPPED OUT ON DUMPING DAY HAMMOND FIBS AND SAUDI SLAVERY SLIPPED OUT ON DUMPING DAY
MATTHEW ELLIOTT ON WHY LEAVE WON MATTHEW ELLIOTT ON WHY LEAVE WON
OSBORNE GIVEN “SH*T” ROOM WITH NO VIEW OSBORNE GIVEN “SH*T” ROOM WITH NO VIEW
5,000,000 SIGNATURES: FEW POLICY CHANGES 5,000,000 SIGNATURES: FEW POLICY CHANGES
CORBYNISTAS USED CODE TO HIDE CASH-FOR-VOTES PLOT CORBYNISTAS USED CODE TO HIDE CASH-FOR-VOTES PLOT
First Lady Michelle Obama Carpool Karaoke First Lady Michelle Obama Carpool Karaoke
PMQ’s Sketch PMQ’s Sketch
How to Reach Westminster Politicians How to Reach Westminster Politicians
OWEN SMITH’S 999 EMERGENCY OWEN SMITH’S 999 EMERGENCY
MELANIA BORROWS FROM MICHELLE MELANIA BORROWS FROM MICHELLE
MAY: I WOULD PRESS NUCLEAR BUTTON MAY: I WOULD PRESS NUCLEAR BUTTON
New Uber Rival Tries to Get Unions Onside New Uber Rival Tries to Get Unions Onside
SMITH’S £200 BILION “NEW DEAL” PLEDGE BUSTED BY MCDONNELL SMITH’S £200 BILION “NEW DEAL” PLEDGE BUSTED BY MCDONNELL
CONGRATULATIONS MR AND MRS UMUNNA CONGRATULATIONS MR AND MRS UMUNNA