Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Osborne : PM is Mad Hatter

Like Guido, George Osborne basically thinks Brown is bonkers.  He has in the past described the Prime Mentalist as “autistic”.  In Shadow Chancellor’s speech during the debate on the budget he returned to the theme once again, calling Brown a “mad hatter”:

I hear sneers and dismissal from Government Members about the IMF’s figures, but I thought that the IMF was going to be the new early-warning system for the Prime Minister. In a stroke, the IMF destroyed the credibility of the premise on which the Budget and its borrowing figures had been built. The claim is that within just two years, the British economy is supposed to bounce from the deepest recession that it has known since the second world war to levels of economic growth and household consumption seen only at the height of the boom; we now know that, frankly, in the view of almost every independent forecaster, that is a complete fantasy. No wonder that one paper this morning described the whole thing as “Alistair in Wonderland”. I guess that that leaves the Prime Minister as our mad hatter—and given the expression on the face of the Secretary of State for Energy and Climate Change, he is the white rabbit.

According to Matthew d’Ancona “the subtext “at least Dave is sane” will underpin most of what the Tories say until polling day.” Good. No amount of talk as to the merits of quantitative easing, credit flows or the broken society will ignite passion, or hope to “seal the deal”. Talk instead of the Prime Mentalist in Downing Street, who has now almost run out of people to blame, yet won’t himself say sorry. Inflaming that popular anger with Gordon will “seal his repeal”

Osborne is right to to tap into the popular contempt people feel for Gordon Brown.

Downing Street Petition Site “Broke” Yesterday

ResignGuido had loads of emails yesterday from people saying they couldn’t sign the petition on the Downing Street website.  Many were greeted with this message:

ERROR

The requested URL could not be retrieved


While trying to retrieve the URL: http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/please-go/

The following error was encountered:

  • Unable to forward this request at this time.

This request could not be forwarded to the origin server or to any parent caches. The most likely cause for this error is that:

  • The cache administrator does not allow this cache to make direct connections to origin servers, and
  • All configured parent caches are currently unreachable.

Guido contacted Tom Steinberg, the über geek in charge of the petition project, he confirmed that there was a problem yesterday. His technical explanantion was “something broke whilst being upgraded. Bloody computers, eh.”

UPDATE : More people have now petitioned for Gordon to Go than voted for him in his constitutency.  If a couple of thousand more people sign the petition before midday, Dave will be able to tell the Prime Mentalist at PMQs that the most popular petition on his own website is the one wanting rid of him.  Hint to Dave’s PMQs preparation team:  namecheck the petition at PMQs and it will go ballistic.  Worth it just to wind up Gordon into smashing a computer screen with a flying Nokia.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Dave the Rave : Computer Facial Matching Analysis

Alex, a co-conspirator, has run the pictures through some imaging software.

What do you think?

+++ CCHQ Denies Dave was the Raver +++

Dave the Rave

UPDATE : Guido has now spoken to Tamzin Lightwater, she said she had done her due diligence and showed Dave the pictures. He told her it wasn’t him.  Guido asked had Dave ever been to a rave.  She didn’t think so.  Well, if you can remember, you weren’t really there….

Major : I Complained to Cabinet Secretary About McBride

Guido’s co-conspirator with his eye on the Tory girls was at an event last night held by the Conservative Women’s Organisation.  John Major told the ladies that last year he had put in a complaint to the Cabinet Secretary, Gus O’Donnell, about Damian McBride’s activities. It was of course to no avail.

GusThe truth is that Gus O’Donnell is seen by many senior Tories as an integral part of Team Brown.  They no longer have any respect for him as an impartial civil servant and he is unlikely to survive the coming regime change.

Ironic that he first came to prominence under John Major.

Jonah Brown’s Mexican Wave of Tragedy

Guido suspects that President Asif Ali Zardari of Pakistan is no fool, he saw what happened to the Mexicans after their President, Felipe Calderon, shook hands with Jonah Brown.  He acted in Pakistan’s national interest, cancelling a scheduled meeting with the Prime Mentalist.  What was the upside for Zardari in shaking hands with the manic, mincing madman?  Cancelling the meeting was his patriotic duty.

Mexico CursedLast month innocent little President Felipe Calderon of Mexico led a full state visit to Britain.  He happily shook hands with Jonah, he dined with Jonah, he spent time with Jonah unknowing of the fearsome risks. Inevitably within a month the curse hit Mexico hard.   Plague has come in the form of Swine Flu, taking the lives of over a hundred Mexicans so far.

EpicentreThe prolonged proximity to the presbyterian pestilence has brought double tragedy for Calderon’s people.  Already reeling from the swinish plague, Mexico has suffered an earthquake of magnitude 5.6 on the Richter scale.

“I’m scared,” Sarai Luna Pajas, a 22-year-old Mexico City resident, told the Associated Press news agency.  “We Mexicans are not used to living with so much fear, but all that is happening – the economic crisis, the illnesses and now this – it feels like the Apocalypse.” Pity the undeserving victims of the accursed, one-eyed son of the manse…

Monday, April 27, 2009

McPoison : Down and Out in Archway

Michael, a co-conspirator, writes:

Damian McPoisonSeen at 2.15 p.m. today, on the Holloway Road near Highbury Corner, a shuffling near derelict figure in dirty scuffed jeans, run-down trainers and raggedy-arsed donkey jacket.

A double-take. Yup, that rheumey, red-faced pallor.  It is indeed Damian McBride.

“Guido sends his regards,” I yell.  No response.  He looked ruined.

Ratted more likeDo continue to send sightings…

Dolly is Watching Daytime TV

Further to Guido’s story about the BACP Crisis Meeting Over Draper, the psychotherapist’s professional body has confirmed that the

BACP has received a number of queries regarding Derek Draper to which we are responding. Any complaints received will be treated seriously and processed according to our Professional Conduct Procedures.

As soon as they are known, the outcomes of all Professional Conduct Procedures are published in our journal Therapy Today (which automatically goes out to all 30,200 BACP members) and also to the general public via our website. All such proceedings are conducted on the principles of natural justice. All parties to any complaint have a reasonable period during which to make their representations.

Derek Draper and Kate GarrawayGuido understands that Dr Annie Hickox, a qualified clinical psychologist who has worked in the NHS for more than 20 years and holds qualifications up to and including a PhD (unlike Dolly) is one of many who have written to the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy in order to register concern. Dr Hickox says Draper “clearly is not fit to work in his chosen field”.

Draper’s wife Kate Garraway is presenting “The Biggest Loser” on ITV weekdays at 4 p.m., Guido will resist the obvious temptation…

Dave the Rave?

This has been building up for a few weeks and now Guido is getting calls from Dead Tree Press diarists, it is probably time to bring it out into the open.  Is this a picture of a long-haired 22 year-old David Cameron?

Dave the Rave

The pictures are taken from a video of a Sunrise Party held in the summer of 1988.   You decide…

WARNING TO PICTURE EDITORS : PHOTOS & VIDEO COPYRIGHT
OUR LAWYERS ARE BASTARDS

Contact Guido.Fawkes@order-order.com for rights.

Can Brogan Really Restore the Telegraph’s Reputation for Political Reporting?

SmokescreenStephen Glover’s media column in the Indy rakes over the Labourgraph’s dishonest handling of Smeargate.  It is a pretty fair summary of the affair which Guido went over briefly here.  Suffice to say the Labourgraph’s political team don’t come out of either account very well.

Glover reckons Ben Brogan is the best hope of  restoring a semblance of sane editorial coherence from the Telegraph‘s political reporting:

Last week, Ben Brogan joined The Daily Telegraph as its chief political commentator, having been political editor of the Daily Mail. Perhaps he will help restore some balance to the paper’s political coverage. On the one hand, its political staff has been closer than was prudent to No 10. On the other, Simon Heffer has been tossing rotten cabbages from the right in the direction of the Cameroons.

Disorder has flourished under the editorship of a man, Will Lewis, who is neither a natural Tory nor especially knowledgeable about politics. Brogan’s role will be partly to mend fences with David Cameron, but there is also a good deal of general reconstructive work to be done to the paper’s political reputation. How could The Daily Telegraph ever get so close to a man like Damian McBride?

Ben BroganBen Brogan is a good journalist, his blog was just about the only MSM political reporting blog that Guido really respected as a competitor.  Most hacks use their blogs for stuff they can’t get in the paper.  Brogan’s Daily Mail blog was often better than his stuff in the paper and it was very much a real-time competitor.  There is however one prophetic blog post that Guido suspects he would rather forget.  It was written after McBride’s 3 a.m. knifing of Ruth Kelly:

One Day the Truth About McBride Will Out
03 October 2008

Damian McPoisonWhen the Day of Reckoning comes and those of us who know are free to say what we know, Damian McBride will emerge with great credit from the madness of the past few years. … When the cry went up that there had to be changes in No 10, what they meant was McBride had to go. By the time we left Manchester he was being blamed for everything, including the credit crunch and the disappearance of Shergar. Such was his influence that like Macavity his prints were seen on every bit of damaging briefing. It became easy to blame him for every transgression, real or imagined. In fact, he was a victim of his own success. Damian is many things, but not an innocent. His role, by its nature, involved bad business at the crossroads.

But the McPoison of caricature is just that. There is far more to him than most realise. Few can match him for political insight, mischief making exuberance, stamina or that see-round-a-corner skill that few in politics possess. His intelligence was always Grade A, whether it was on election outcomes or how power was flowing. The Tories certainly have nothing like him, save perhaps George Osborne.

What does his departure mean for Gordon Brown? McBride remains in No 10 as an adviser on long-term strategy. The PM will continue to have him to hand. But his enemies will be on the look-out for signs that he is still speaking to the likes of me, so I don’t expect him to return phone calls for a while. Which means the PM will be without the best media handler he’s had. We’ll miss the service, not to mention the in-flight quizzes, and perhaps that’s no bad thing. He may wonder whether it was wise to give up a high-flier’s career in the Civil Service to run away with this circus. Of course, I’m an unreliable witness. But I’m certain of this: you will read a lot in the coming days about Damian McBride, and you shouldn’t believe more than a fraction of it. The true story is far better.

Or perhaps far worse.


Seen Elsewhere

Uber Needs to Mind Its Manners | CapX
Sun Victory in Court | MediaGuido
UKIP Gains Coming at Labour’s Expense | Elections Etc
Farage’s Migrant Muddle | Indy
Tristram Should Stop Bashing Independent Schools | Toby Young
Journalists in the Dock | David Banks
Let Them Eat Gay Cake | Laura Perrins
May v Javid | ConHome
Politicians Never Safe From Being Recorded | Stephen Pollard
Superstar Carney | Alex Brummer
Gulf Dividing Labour | Mary Riddell


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Tony Blair threatens Ed:

“If you had a strong political lead that was combining the politics of aspiration with the politics of compassion, I still think that’s where you could get a substantial majority…  If I ever do an interview on [the state of the Labour Party], it will have to be at length…”



Left on Left says:

The lefties are attacking because the panellist is a millionaire and lives in a London home worth upwards of two million. Someone had best tell them he’s called Ed Miliband.


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