Monday, March 24, 2008

Support the Gypsies!

So they buy a piece of land, fence it off, install a septic tank and connect the utilities. It is their property. So what if they haven’t got authorisation from the planning commissars, it has no immediate neighbouring residential property. This is not a case of illegal squatting. They have just done a bit of green belt development, something the government says we will increasingly have to accept. Good luck to ‘em.

As for Tessa Jowell’s husband David Mills complaining that the gypsies broke the planning rules – he is one to talk about law breaking…

Rich & Mark’s Monday Morning View

Sunday, March 23, 2008

God Winks at Arthur C Clarke

Is Guido the only one to wonder if God played a little joke on legendary sci-fi writer Arthur C Clarke? The visionary author insisted that his death ceremony be devoid of any religious ritual of any kind.

Coincidentally a powerful stellar explosion that has shattered the record for the most distant object visible was detected by NASA’s Swift satellite on March 19, the same day he died. It is so bright that it can be seen by the naked eye despite being half-way across the known universe – the most intrinsically bright object in the universe ever observed by humans. Guido likes to think it God’s way of winking at the mortal chronicler of the cosmos who found no sign of his existence in the universe.

Guido is Home

Grandad and Grandma Fawkes did a splendid job of looking after the Fawkes girls. Ms Fawkes didn’t miss her parents as much as Mrs Fawkes missed her. Baby Fawkes seems to have more hair and a tooth. Grandparents looked tired and suffering from severe child-lag. Now they remember…

Friday, March 21, 2008

Muir Says "Bye for Now" to WPP

Guido’s co-conspirator in the red glasses emails a report from his Blackberry after the party;

at David Muir’s leaving drinks at WPP there was a hefty amount of sceptism from the audience about his tenure in Downing Street. There was a heckle from the back of the (small) crowd that there was no point giving a leaving gift “as he will be back in a year”.

Branding bullshit guru Muir said he was off to “do some good” – helping to keep Gordon in No. 10. Just what we need, another delusional Scot in Downing Street.

Told You So…

Now even Peter Riddell is writing off Labour maybe Guido should think about changing his bets. Six months ago it all looked so different didn’t it? You could have got 3/1 on the Tories being the biggest party. Not now…

The Darling Brown stance on the economy is essentially cross-your-fingers. No growth package, no boost to the property market, nothing. They are kidding themselves if they think voters will return to them in times of trouble. The City is bracing itself, the credit crunch is about fear. Darling thinks he can bore the economy better…

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Guido is on the Beach

Have however just noticed that the readers of ConservativeHome.com have voted their favourite use of new media to be Guido’s 2007 video of Gordon Picking and Eating His Nose Bogies.

It is gratifying to see how successful that video has been – it is probably the most successful British political YouTube video of all time (there are about 4 different versions of it doing the rounds, including a viral one formatted for mobile phones). To put it in perspective, that one YouTube video has been seen more than all of the Downing Street YouTube channel’s output combined.

Guido would like to remind you how Paxman and Michael White et al sneered about it. Who had the better judgement about what people really wanted to know about Gordon? They wanted to know for themselves – did he really pick his nose? In the end even BBC News reported it, though they described it as “alleged evidence on the internet”. The video has also been seen around the world on various conventional TV broadcast news shows. Canal Plus in France has a late night equivalent to Newsnight, where the prettier female equivalent to Paxman was in fits of laughter that the English would make someone like Gordon, who would do that in public, Prime Minister. Hundreds of thousands of people have watched it. Why is it so popular? Because we like to laugh at our rulers, that is a very healthy thing – unlike eating your bogies…

It remains Guido’s favourite single production. So, just for all the fans, one more time:

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Analysis of MPs Expenses Shows Labour Most ExpensiveBrown and Cameron Fiddle Housing Allowance

There should of course be no reason why expense claims should vary in aggregate across party lines, yet they do. Guido reckons this says something significant about their attitude to the stewardship of taxpayer’s money. Of the 50 most expensive MPs 74% are Labour, 18% LibDem and one is a Conservative – David Mundell. The rest are SNP members who Guido will excuse on the clear grounds that they have, by definition, justifiably higher travel expenses.

The ten most expensive users of stationery are also Labour MPs, in category after category it is the same with Labour MPs always claiming the most. One stand out example of expense padding is from Janet Anderson, the Labour MP for Rossendale & Darwen. She has the most amazingly expensive car habit judging by her mileage allowance.* With a claim of £13,851 – which equates to a claim for over 50,000 miles – assuming she drives at an average of say 40 mph – that is 1,200 hours of solid driving, or 50 days and nights non-stop. Enter her for Le Mans!

The only honourable exception to Labour prolificacy is Dennis Skinner. Party leaders have no shame either:-

  • Why does Dave claim £20,563 for staying away from home? We all know he lives in Notting Hill, the kids go to school locally, it is his primary residence isn’t it. Is he claiming the Witney constituency home is his primary residence? The same fiddle that the Yvette and Ed Balls pull?

  • Why does Gordon claim £17,017 for the same when he already has his 10 Downing Street residence paid for by the taxpayer?

Out of 646 MPs only 54 don’t take the mortgage subsidy. Further digging would reveal how many are fiddling. You need to check your MP’s addresses online in the Land Registry records (costs a few quid) to see if the property is mortgaged. If it isn’t and they are claiming, they are fiddling. The expense breakdown in full is here.

Sir Michael White and the rest of the apologists for our political class like to claim that our politicians are largely uncorrupt. This is only because they have voted themselves transparent fiddles which may be legal, but are not right. In the private sector the same practises would lead to fraud charges or at the very least questions from the taxman. Our politicians have voted for themselves to be above the laws that they apply to the voters…

*She still manages to claim for rail travel more than hundreds of other MPs.

Credit : Via original number crunching from Letters from a Tory based on 2006/7 data.

UPDATE : The excusing of the SNP was poorly phrased and has been deleted from the above, for the purposes of this article Guido is excusing their high spending. As pointed out by many in the comments, David Mundell also holds a (or rather the) Scottish seat for the Tories, so he should be excused on the same grounds as the SNP. Guido did not research the location of all 646 seats because he has important cocktails to deal with. No doubt some of the other high spending LibDems and Labour MPs are Scottish. The general point is still good. Most of the highest spenders (ex-transport) are not from Scotland in any event.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Gordon is Hiring Two Web Specialists

This should be a laugh given Labour’s cack-handed approach to web-politics. The two new hires will report to David Muir, the new Downing Street director of political strategy brought in from WPP.

WebGordon with a manically innappropriate smiling Brown will be cringe making…

UPDATE : Alex Hilton says he is not one of the hires.

Will There Be Tears at the Leaving Party?

Spencer Livermore has been at Gordon’s side for over a decade. He is now off to Saatchi. His departure had been rumoured for some months – since Gordon’s ranting started reducing him to tears. The hard-drinking Damian McBride is said to be next…

Seen Elsewhere

A Dozen Reasons to Be Cheerful | John McTernan
Political Bloggers Are Equal Opportunities Attackers | ConHome
Michael Gove Should Resign | Conservative Women
Sarah Wollaston’s Naming and Shaming of Bloggers | LibDemVoice
Fraser Nelson: Put Your Money on Ed Miliband to Win | Guardian
Guido Fawkes is Too Aggressive | The Times
Ditch Tobacco Plain Packaging | Grassroots Conservatives
What Farage, Boris and Rob Ford Have in Common | William Walter
Labour Spell New Adviser’s Name Wrong | ITV
Dave Stung by Jellyfish | Sun
City Minister’s Inheritance Tax Dodging Trusts | Indy


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Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”



orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?


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