Friday Caption Competition

Ed Balls Stirring As Usual

Fight Poverty, Buy Derek’s Book in Oxfam

Derek Draper's Life Support

dolly-kate-damianGuido is getting worried that we have heard nothing from Dolly for some time.  His Twitter no longer tweets and his belligerent banter has burned out.  His Life Support book is on offer for £2.99 in Oxfam.  It was only a month ago that he was hosting the book’s glittering launch party attended by the likes of the powerful Damian McBride and glamorous Kate Garraway, host of TV’s “The Biggest Loser”.

Please buy his book, Guido is getting worried.

Picture taken yesterday in the Oxfam bookshop on Strutton Ground, Westminster by the Stray Taoist.

May Day! May Day! Labour Lunacy Meltdown

Labour MPs are in complete disarray and the Tories in the form of Alan Duncan reckon the Prime Mentalist is “treading rapidly into realms of complete and utter lunacy”.

The thing is, Labour politicians seem to agree:

  • Mandelson conceded: “It is indeed turning into a bit of a week. It never rains but it pours, it seems.”
  • David Blunkett admitted “We are on a treadmill and we have got to get off”.
  • Tony Wright, the level headed chair of the Public Administration Committee says: “It is rather a large under-statement to say that we are in a bit of a mess.”
  • Gordon Prentice said Gordon’s loony tunes YouTube video “was just too horrible to watch.”
  • Tom Harris warns: “‘Governments fall apart when discipline fails.”
  • Bob Marshall-Andrews judges matters thus “He’s had it. He’s finished. The Prime Minister is complete blown chaff… All my colleagues think so too. For the first time in my life I’ve seen them united. They are united in despair.”
  • Blunkett wants Labour to “avoid self-inflicted wounds”.

Meanwhile rumours circulate that Charles Clarke is ready to inflict some wounds by standing as a stalking horse candidate.  A summer of fun awaits…

Balls Hits Gordon

Gordon BallsGolf balls that is – what did you think Guido meant?  Down in Sidcup Golfers get the chance to unleash their frustration at the government by aiming golf balls at the faces of Gordon Brown and Alistair Darling. The World of Golf chain of driving ranges in Sidcup, Croydon, New Malden and Glasgow have put up the targets for the pleasure of golfers.

CEO Grant Wright thought it would be a fun and tongue in cheek idea: “We knew it would be a risk but it’s not to be taken seriously and we haven’t had any problems so far.”

Guido reckons he might be the only business booming in the economy right now.

Hat-tip : News Shopper via Cynosarges

8% of LibDem Voters are Mad

The PoliticsHome poll showing that 95% of Tories, 66% 0f LibDems and 50% of Labour voters think the Tories will win the next election is not much of a surprise.

That 8% of voters (who just happen to be LibDem supporters) surprisingly think the LibDems are going to win the general election suggests that they are either just extremely optimistic, mad or lying. Hmmm…

Sion Simon Does It Again

Sion Simon

He has now Tweeted:

Earlier I repeated a joke that was in poor taste, which I now regret. I apologise wholeheartedly for any distress or embarrassment caused.

That will win votes won’t it?  Insult the popular and much loved sensation of the moment.  His skills with video satire and political forecasting have been remarked on before.  He is best mates with Tom Watson, the Minister for Digital Engagement and Mudslinging.  It was Tom who encouraged Labour MPs to twitter.  When comes to twattishness, none can surpass Sion.

McBride Changes His Number

Damian McPoisonAnother sighting of Damian McBride, apparently he has been circulating his new mobile number to his Lobby drinking buddies. Guess that means Guido won’t be able to send him any more text messages.

Maybe he can get a job on the Telegraph, after all he has plenty of experience writing copy for them.  He could always write a book.  If he got one out in time for Labour Party conference he could trouser a quick six-figure advance for a smear and tell book.  Obviously it won’t be worth so much after the general election…

+++ Government Loses Gurkha Vote +++

What will put fear into the Labour Party is that it was defeated by a LibDem – Conservative alliance. Cameron and Clegg seemed very at ease with each other in front of the press. Dave even paid tribute to Clegg’s leadership on the issue. Liberal love bombing which has strategic political implications…

Lib Con Alliance

Blogging Tory MP Signs Downing Street “Just Go” Petition

ResignAny minute now the “Just Go” petition on the Downing Street website will be the number one issue on Gordon’s home page, helped on the way by the support of Douglas Carswell MP*, the blogging MP who added his name […]

+ READ MORE +

I’m the Prime Minister, Get Me Out of Here

The chamber fell about laughing after Gordon made a twat of himself forgetting he had a statement to make:

UPDATE : In reply to the statement Dave said: “Can I thank the Prime Minister for making his statement…it was a […]

+ READ MORE +

Clegg Hit His Mark

Nick Clegg doesn’t always shine at PMQs.  He sometimes misjudges the chamber and suffers for it.  He got the tone right for once.  Dale usually scores PMQs, think Clegg deserves a winning score.

UPDATE : Dale did score Clegg the […]

+ READ MORE +

PMQs Live Chat : Mad Hatter’s Tea Party

[…]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

Out of the bubble prole Andy Burnham tells Mumsnet

“I’m afraid I’m going to depress you all by saying that I don’t have a sweet tooth and don’t eat biscuits… Give me a beer and chips and gravy any day.”

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