Saturday, October 24, 2009

Get the Guidogram to Get Guy News First

To get this week’s Guy News broadcast today, you will have to click on the link in the Guidogram email. This week we have outside broadcasts from Guy News reporters investigating the humble homes of our poor MPs.

Subscribe to the Guidogram or wait the whole weekend until Monday for the video…


Campbell Reminisces About Past Polls

On his blog Bad Al Campbell argues that Dave hasn’t sealed the deal with the electorate thus; “December 5, 1996, Gallup poll. Labour 59. Tories 22. Now that’s what I call a lead. And they’re nowhere near it, because they have not sealed the deal, because they’re not serious on policy, because they haven’t changed much, and because a lot of people don’t really like them.”

Bad Al is really grasping with this line of spin. Labour are 19% behind in the polls; suggesting that if people don’t really like the Tories, they must despise Labour. The voters have come to a settled view of Gordon – that he is a useless weirdo. You can’t spin your way out of that…

Friday, October 23, 2009

+++ Shock Figures Show UK In Worst Ever Recession +++

From Reuters:

The Office for National Statistics said British gross domestic product fell by 0.4 percent between July and September, meaning the economy has contracted for six successive quarters for the first time since records began in 1955.

This was much worse than analysts’ expectations of a 0.2 percent rise. Not a single analyst out of the 35 polled by Reuters before the data had expected a negative reading.

This is now the longest recession since records began. Despite the Prime Mentalist’s lies that Britain is “best placed to weather the global turbulence” it looks increasingly like Britain will be the last G7 country out of recession…

Told You So

qt-bnpSo after all the fuss Nick Griffin looked shifty and came off worst on Question Time as Guido predicted.  Huhne, who should have been an old-pro and a safe pair of hands, came over as a bit shrill.

Sayeeda Warsi didn’t, as some in CCHQ feared, screw up…

UPDATE : Nick Griffin’s one good line, which flummoxed Jack Straw after he had struck a Churchillian pose, was to point out that whilst his own father had served in the RAF, Straw’s father served jail time for refusing to fight fascism.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Guido Gets Games Off

ukbaFollowing Guido’s revelations this morning that the UK Border Agency was paying arresting officers to play mixed-sex rugby rather than chase after illegal immigrants, a spokesperson, Tony Smith, told the Mail that: ‘This sporting event was inadvertently arranged outside the strict civil service rules. Contrary to reports it will now be taking place outside of office hours.  Any suggestion that staff could claim paid leave is absolutely wrong and staff have been notified accordingly.’

Matthew Elliott, chief executive of the Taxpayers’ Alliance told the Press Association: “The fact that the Home Office thinks taxpayers should pay for their staff to scrum down in work hours is an absolute disgrace, and the fact we’re paying extra for their fun just adds insult to injury.”

Shadow home secretary Chris Grayling is reported in the Indy as saying: “This is just not good enough. Our immigration system has been shambolic for years, and far too few people refused the right to stay here have actually been deported.   If this is symbolic of what is happening in the Home Office, then it really does need major changes.”

Students of government spin will be amused to know that Guido was called by a Home Officer press officer and reprimanded for “not going through the normal channels”As if…

Home Office Pays Staff to Play Mixed Tug of War
Instead of Catching Illegal Immigrants

ukbaYesterday Ministers admitted to having lost track of around 40,000 migrants with no right to be in Britain including suspected terrorists and criminals.  The Home Office is under pressure to track them down and Lin Homer, CEO of the UK Border Agency (UKBA) told the Home Affairs Select Committee yesterday that “Where further action is required it will be taken and any cases which may be considered as harmful to the public will be prioritised.” Good news, hopefully arrests of the most dangerous cases will follow.  Ashley Robinson is  the civil servant responsible for coordinating the national arrest team.  Here is what he was prioritising yesterday:

From: Robinson Ashley
Sent: 21 October 2009 12:57
Subject: Home Office L&SE: Winter Games

FAO Home Office Staff in London & South East (other CSSC members can attend as guests on invitation)

I will be organising Mixed Touch Rugby and Mixed Tug of War at the Home Office L&SE Winter Games on Thursday 26th November 2009: 11-4 @ Metropolitan Police Sports Ground, Imber Court Ember Lane, East Molesey, Surrey, KT8 0BT

SPECIAL LEAVE with PAY for Home Office staff working inside London & South East – subject to line-management authorisation can be applied for.  Are you keen to enter a team/event?

Kind Regards

Ashley C Robinson
Club Captain: CSSC Barbarians Rugby
C/o National Arrest Team Coordinator | Immigration Group | United Kingdom Border Agency

Note the special leave with pay to scrum down with the opposite sex at the taxpayers’ expense.  Guido called Ashley to ask him why exactly (apart from the obvious fun to be had) he thought this was a good idea:

Guido : Why do you think the taxpayers should pay for your rugby and tug-of-war jolly during business hours?
Ashley : I don’t know what you are talking about.
GF : [Guido reads him back email]
Ashley : Someone has forwarded you my email have they?
GF : Yes
Ashley : [Thinking fast] It is in line with best practice in the private sector, a healthy workforce has less time off and is happier blah, blah, blah…
GF : But why do it on a work day?
Ashley : Think you better speak to the press office…

John Reid did say the Home Office was “unfit for purpose”Not sure that paying civil servants to have fun and games when they should be working was the solution he had in mind…

Sarko Says ‘Non’ to President Blair

Truth be told Guido is a bit disappointed that Sarkozy has poured cold water on the prospect of President Blair.  It would have been such fun:

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

What Does Conservatism Mean to David Cameron?

Peter Oborne has just interviewed him for Radio 4.  Dave is projecting an image of “progressive conservativism”, a kind of modernised Tory wet with added euroscepticism and a green aura. Then there are elements of traditional Tory philosophy as well as a healthy dash of anti-utopianism.  Does it all hang together intellectually?

Guido Goes Native on the iPhone and Blackberry

gf-iphoneGuido is now available in an iPhone and Blackberry friendly formats (the blog is already available via subscription to Amazon Kindle owners). For the moment the mobile versions are advertising free.

Guido is contemplating placing a start-up advert on the page for 10 seconds the first time co-conspirators log on to the blog on the mobiles, once a day.  This could perhaps be switched off for a modest annual fee.  Unlike the BBC and the Guardian this blog works on a for-profit basis, so a revenue free distribution model is not sustainable.  Am genuinely interested in what readers think is realistic.  Would you rather the adverts appeared in between posts?  Would you prefer the option of an ad free platform?  What price (if any) would you be willing to pay?  Westminster-based Blackberry users are obviously an attractive audience to advertisers who want to reach the powerful.

What do co-conspirators think?


Was down the pub during PMQs.  Anything interesting happen?

Seen Elsewhere

Milburn Health Consultancy Worth £2 Million | Scrapbook
Stuart Broad Right, Peston Broadly Wrong | Ryan Bourne
The 38 Seats in England Yet to Select a Tory Candidate | ConHome
Labour and Green Ecofascism | Matthew Walsh
Burnham Shows Why Labour Can’t Be Trusted | Speccie
Why Online Voting is a Crap Idea | Ballot Box
Time We Showed Super Rich Some Love | Alice Thomson
We Need True Popular Capitalism | Maurice Saatchi
Labour’s Winning Hand | Sebastian Shakespeare
We Defend Labour’s Record | John Hutton and Alan Milburn
100 Tories to Rebel on Plain Packs | Telegraph

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Alan Milburn says Labour’s scaremongering campaign for an unreformed NHS will not win election…

“It would be a fatal mistake, in my view, for Labour to go into this election looking as though it is the party that would better resource the National Health Service but not necessarily put its foot to the floor when it comes to reforming. Look, reforms are not easy, but the Labour Party is not a conservative party. It should be about moving things forward not preserving them in aspic. You have got a pale imitation actually of the 1992 general election campaign, and maybe it will have the same outcome. I don’t know.”

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