September 4th, 2014

Tories Implementing iDemocracy in Clacton


  1. 1
    MSM SCUM says:

  2. 2
    Diane Abbotopotamus says:


  3. 3
    MSM SCUM says:

  4. 4
    Thoyce Jacker says:

    Thinking about fostering? THINK AGAIN!

  5. 5
    aewilliams66 says:

    Not really an “Open Primary” as the candidates will be selected by Tory Central Office, hence the folk of Clacton can vote for Cameron Clone #1, #2 or #3.

  6. 6

    This is a good counter-measure for economic sanctions:

    But do Russia have a replacement system available.

    Bitcoin ?

    Vote UKIP :-D

  7. 7
    Watching Tone DC says:

    Cynical and insincere…usual Tory politics then.

  8. 8
    Farage 4 PM says:

    Isn’t this because all existing Tory Candidates have refused to stand against UKIP in Clacton, so Dave is trying to recruit a Patsy from the General Public……. The Tories are imploding!!!!!

  9. 9
    Tribalist Lefty says:

    Can’t be true, the Mirror isn’t owned by Murdoch.

  10. 10
    David Cameron says:

    I nominate Boris to take the Clacton Ice Bucket Challenge

  11. 11
    Harriet Harman says:

    How about an All Woman short list, my husband needs a job

  12. 12

    Politics of denial ?

    Vote UKIP :-D

  13. 13
    EU NATO Yankee goat fuck organiser says:

    We were wrong to put in sanctions against Syria but we’re pretty sure we’re right now..I think.

  14. 14
    suissebob says:

    What they mean is ‘their’ regulation but somehow I don’t think the rest of the World is going to give a damn what those crooks want.

  15. 15
    Jack Dromey says:

    I like Big Black Coc——- Damn not again

  16. 16
    Gutter says:

  17. 17
    Harriet "Ice Bucket" Harman says:

    Would you like some PIE?

  18. 18
    ancientpopeye says:

    I nominate Red Ken the newt lover as the next Tory for Clacton.

  19. 19
    The Mirror says:

    We have photo’s of a bloke who looks a bit like Carswell torturing an Iraqi POW in the back of a lorry.

  20. 20
    Nigel Farage says:

    “The UKIP constitution, Manifesto and all its research is a load of drivel and to be quiet honest I haven’t even bothered reading any of it.

    Somebody give Douglas a quiet word about it.”

  21. 21

    And by the same reasoning , the crooks don’t give a damn what the West wants.

    Problem for us is that large chunks of the world, eg. Latin America, significant bits of Afr!ca, Ch!na, the ME and !ndia are aligned with Russia.

    They’ll probably use this to ramp up the BRICS bank and push Bitcoin style clearance mechanisms.

    Vote UKIP :-D

  22. 22
    idon'tneednodoctor says:

    How can anyone trust Carswell. He did the dirty on the tories behind their backs. I hope he loses the by-election, then we will see how much of a mate he is of Farage and UKIP.

  23. 23
    John Prescott says:

    Ows about an all short women list so as I can rest me pint on their head.

  24. 24
    Jack Ketch says:

    Have you been on that new GCSE coding course?

  25. 25
    C.O.Jones says:

    My thoughts exactly.

    After Clacton there will be no safe Tory seat.

  26. 26

    Sanctions against Syr!a were correct as was not intervening militarily.

    If the UK was involved in running guns from Croat!a to the FSA – that was perhaps not such a wise move.

    Vote UKIP :-D

  27. 27
    Dorkass says:

    They can – and will – smear and slime. They cannot catch the East Wind that will sweep them away.

  28. 28
    Lord Rennard says:

    I had several strokes and a rub.

  29. 29
    Jack Ketch says:

    That’s odd. I replied to a post that suddenly vanished and it wasn’t even filthy or anti-Semitic.

  30. 30
    Anonymous says:

    Medium size assault Vessel suitable for Party attempting to storm polls in Clacton or for those wishing to assault lots of underage white girls off beaches. In the letter case inflatables can be bought separately.

  31. 31
    Anonymous says:

    Douglas loved the Channel 4 Interview with that Cathy Newman trying to trip you up through repeated selective misquotes.
    I had not realized the BBC had infected Channel 4 with PC.

  32. 32

    Very handy if one wishes to take C’yprus, or project force properly in the Black Sea.

    Vote UKIP :-D

  33. 33
    Dozy Dormouse Dave says:

    I give you my cast iron guarantee that after this process I will not parachute in my personal private preference candidate. (BTW isn’t that Mrs Kinnochio Sprog a goer. Sam and I can’t wait to get together).

  34. 34
    Bellum says:

    He’s a million times more trustworthy than that c*nt Cameron.

  35. 35
    Jesus wept says:

    With all them folks on Russia’s side you would have thought the EU Nato goat fuck alliance would have had the sense not to poke the bear.

  36. 36
    jgm2 says:

    ‘He did the dirty on the tories behind their backs.’


    He did the fuckers right in the face. It takes real balls to quit and seek re-election under a different banner.

    You don’t see punchy Eric Joyce quitting Labour and calling a by-election and standing for the Inebriate and Violent Fucking Scotland Party do you?

  37. 37
    Koba says:

    Tories wasting money on pointless objectives just as they do in government

  38. 38
    Clean hands says:

    Resigning your seat and standing in a by-election is not ‘doing the dirty’. It is honourable.

    Would that many more MPs who find themselves unable to support the claptrap that their parties put forward as official policy to fool the voters would be as ‘dirty’.

  39. 39
    John Bellingham says:

    If the current opinion polls are even vaguely accurate, Carswell could become a Polish speaking Jihadi convert married to a 12 year old Tutsi boy who kicks dogs and drags his 90 year old auntie around on a dog lead before he ran the risk of not whitewashing ALL other candidates. This by-election is like Muhammed Ali being matched against Larry Grayson.

  40. 40
  41. 41
    The lonely goatherd says:

    You have already stabbed your Party in the back.So why not your wife .

  42. 42

    No one has poked the bear. The ‘alliance’ Russia has built took a bit of a hit when they downed MH17.

    Russia has not mentioned the bit about building a Russian empire or explained what ‘vassal state’ means to these folk.

    The West seems to have taken the position that Russia is fine to do some of this as it seems to desire restoration of the cold-war style multi-polar order.

    Big question for Europe: Is this to be bipolar, tri-polar or a higher order ? 3 would be perfect, but that does place us in O’rwell land, 2 may be preferable but is not good news for Europe.

    Vote UKIP :-D

  43. 43
    The BBC says:

    When did you stop beating her?

  44. 44
    Herr Flick says:

    Every time I see Cathy”Doris”Newman, I keep thinking of Helga from ‘Allo ‘Allo.

  45. 45
    trollntroll says:

    You’re a stupid troll. Just die.

  46. 46
    Jesus wept says:

    Russia has been invaded twice by the Germans twice by the French and once by us and that is just by my limited understanding of history.
    Forgive them for being a little fucking paranoid.

  47. 47
    The lonely goatherd says:

    In your dreams .

  48. 48
    Poor Dears says:

    Mirrow Trinity Group will have to pay Murdoch style compensation to victims of hacking.

  49. 49
    Clacton Tories says:

    We nominate Douglas Carswell.

  50. 50
    Zig Zag says:


    She always looks like a bad Modigliani portrait.

  51. 51


    Vote UKIP :-D

  52. 52
    Back1woodsman says:

    Oborne getting his head handed to him in the comments on his Torygraph Cam puff piece.
    The chattering classes really are looking out of sync with the voting public !
    BTW, anyone wondering if all the regular guardian idiots had suffered simultaneous keyboard failure around the time the solids hit the Rotherham fan, don’t worry, the nerve of a Tory daring to criticise chariddees had them rushing to the barricades. Oh, the visceral loathing, shocking !

  53. 53
    CCHQ - LC Team A says:

    Hi guys

    We’ve been given an early re-activation with this whole Carswell affair, quite a few of the lads thought we’d only get the ‘call up’ 6 months before the GE, but they’ve got some extra funding from somewhere and said, double time, continue the Scottish independence smears, but you also get to work on Carswell, now..

    Dig up the dirt on him they said, make up the dirt said Lynton..

    Trouble is whenever I speak to the team over a beer in the pub, we all like Carswell… we agree with him..

    Still we get paid for it, mortgage to pay and all that, and do this job well and we might get to be a spad one day…

  54. 54

    Read some more history and you will learn about what Russia doesn’t want you to remember.

    Cold War is a good starting point.

    U’kraine is more recent.

    Vote UKIP :-D

  55. 55
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    It seems McBride has defected to the Tories.

  56. 56
    Herr Flick says:

    Granted but I was thinking of her in lederhosen, shouting at French peasants.

  57. 57
    Democracy Now says:

    There should be no ‘safe’ Tory seats. Or ‘safe’ Labour ones. It is terrribly unhealthy for our democracy that the main parties are able to think of large parts of the country as places where they can take the public for granted.

  58. 58


    For all the rhetoric about IS it is becoming more and more necessary for them to be considered as evolving towards a Hezbollah structure – albeit without !ranian backing.

    Key questions:

    i) How autonomous is IS in reality ? They appear to have at least received training from several major powers, and have been indirectly armed also.

    ii) Can they take the next step as a government and start issuing passports ?

    The second point would help fix a lot of security problems in Europe and elsewhere. If IS were to start issuing such travel documents, States can then safely revoke citizenship without running the risk of making folk Stateless or contravening international law.

    Vote UKIP :-D

  59. 59
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    Remember also that Comrade Stalin killed more Russians than the Germans, French and Lord Cardigan put together.

  60. 60
    Obvious Really says:

    Choose Boris. Carswell will be toast.

  61. 61
    Prime Minister Nigel Farage says:

    For the avoidance of doubt and those struggling to understand i.e. Nick Clegg, the UK does not pay ransom to terrorists.

  62. 62
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    I think you do need a doctor. Classic case of Frigganus Imbecilitis.

  63. 63
    idon'tneednodoctor says:


  64. 64
    idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Double yawn.

  65. 65
    Alan Mabbutt on behalf of the Conservative Party, 4 Matthew Parker Street, London SW1H 9HQ. says:

    I propose that Piers Morgan be adopted as the Tory Party candidate.

    He will piss it !

  66. 66
    Braveheart says:

    It’s not honourable. He joined UKIP because he realised he was in the only potential UKIP seat and might well lose it as a Conservative. Then he realised that UKIP had already selected a candidate, so that he would have to fight another, unwinnable seat for UKIP – Fermanagh and South Tyrone or something – at the next election. So, having done the dirty on the Conservative Party, he then played UKIP’s system to shaft the already-selected Roger Lord by using an obscure rule in their rulebook that said the National Executive could parachute a candidate in for a by-election, even if there was a candidate already. Devious jerk.

  67. 67
    Piers Morgan says:

    Thank you so much.

    My hobbies are Clacton, Frinton, Walton. All things digital. Aquaculture. Swimming. Running. Gardening but not in that order.

  68. 68
    Fishy says:

    Ah Vassall…wasn’t he another one of Russia’s useful idiots?

  69. 69
    táxpáyér says:

    Someone did, rather unwisely, say they were heir to blair.

  70. 70
    Fishy says:

    The Tory candidate would have been Carswell. Dolt.

  71. 71
    CCHQ Mong Troll Division says:

    You’ve completely failed here.

    Return to base for reassignment.

    You bellend.

  72. 72
    Persona non grata says:

    Boris has already refused to fight. White feather for him.

  73. 73
    Fishy says:

    It that why he allegedly accessed the Tory IT records before he left?

    If it is the case that he has taken membership information – he will be on the wrong end of a complaint to the Data Protection Commissioner and could find himself in serious trouble.

  74. 74
    Cameron, I'm afraid, is a fucking liar. says:

    More to the point, how can anyone trust Cameron? He didn’t the dirty on the Tories behind their backs.

    I looked through a copy of the Conservative’s 2010 election manifesto the other week and couldn’t find a single commitment that Cameron’s not reneged on.

  75. 75
    idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Treble yawn. You have surpassed yourself, now fuck off boring arsewipe.

  76. 76
    Anonymous says:

    I like the idea of the Clacton by election. Just can we have it not reported in the papers or the telly? When two Tory parties go head to head it just bores the rest of us.
    Let them have their little spat and then disappear where the sun can’t shine.
    As for who the candidates are…….who cares. A defecting tory who slagged off UKIP and then stands for UKIP. Real trustworthy one thinks. And an official Tory who will offer the same policies as the UKIP. Bore draw.
    Working people voting for either is like voting to throw your rights away. Both support giving tax cuts to the rich and removing employment rights. Is it a joke they are having on the people?

  77. 77
    CCHQ Mong Troll Division says:

    LOL! B*lly bumpipe’s successor is lecturing.

    Why don’t you fuck off, dickhead?

  78. 78
    C.O.Jones says:

    Oh piss off your stereotypical leftie twat! Same old doctrine and indoctrination. Totally boring!

  79. 79
    idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Shit for brains is you real name.

  80. 80
    The Tories are like cornered rats says:

    Tory dirty Tricks. This is what they did at the European elections too.

    Are you blaming this warm spell on Dave’s Gayer weddings?

  81. 81
    Toilets Maguire says:

    This has nothing to do with The Mirror.

  82. 82
    Eric says:

    I like Clacton.

  83. 83
    Fishy says:

    + 100000000’s

  84. 84
    Grant Why-do-I-look-like-a-lettings-agent? Shapps says:

    But we’ve already told the very fruity Isabel Hardman (gosh I’d love to kiss Issy all over) that it’s just a ploy to embarrass Carswell. #iHypocrisy.

  85. 85
    CCHQ Mong Troll Division says:

    My comment confirmed.

  86. 86
    CCHQ Mong Troll Division says:

    Fair point.

    Carswell is only 900,000 times more trustworthy than Cameron.

  87. 87
    Owen Jones's Mum says:

    Darling, why have you locked your bedroom door?

  88. 88
    The People's Army (Clacton Battalion) says:

    No one in UKIP thinks Carswell would have lost Clacton as a Tory.

  89. 89
    Dreary Steeples says:

    Given Fermanagh-South Tyrone has a Sinn Fein majority of exactly 4, it might be worth a crack.

  90. 90
    Confucious the Voter says:

    Your comments really are wasted on here you know. Those who still intend voting LabCon won’t change their mind thanks to your retoric, nor will UKIP supporters. The don’t knows don’t inhabit this blog.
    No one with any decorum thinks positively of Libs.

  91. 91
    Oi vey, my life says:

    Vote for liberal Dave and his liberal crew and get no IN/OUT referendum.

    Yes, we will get another speech by Dave in 2017 if he gets in, the time isnt right, we need to wait for a new treaty, we will get a referendum just not the IN/OUT kind but a YES/NO after 2020 to see if we agree to the new treaty.

    Do you trust Honest Dave to deliver?

  92. 92
    Oi vey, my life says:

    As the party of opposition the by election should be a shoe in for labour at the fag end of a crappy lame duck governments term, the fact that they have not got a chance should tell you what trouble labour is in right now.

  93. 93
    I used to vote UKIP . says:

    Any Party that welcomes people like Neil Hamilton ,A serial trougher
    and partial to brown envelopes filled with cash is not my kind of Party.
    When the media seriously start to dig I think that they will find
    some serious problems .

  94. 94
    Isabel Hardman says:

    Forget it Grant. I’d rather eat strawberries and cream off Eric Pickles.

    PS, any safe seats going?

  95. 95
    I used to vote UKIP . says:

    Carswell does not know the meaning of the word honourable .
    Once a turncoat always a turncoat .

  96. 96
    Sam Cam says:

    I don’t even trust him to hoover the flat for me.

  97. 97
    Sam Cam says:

    … or take my child home from the pub.

  98. 98
    deleted says:

    There’s even a Toyota model called “isis”

    Sponsored by Toyota™

  99. 99
    I used to vote UKIP . says:

    Nigel Farage is full of crap , He can say what he wants as he knows
    that he has not got a cat in hell,s chance of getting anywhere near
    Government ,and all his promises mean F.A.

  100. 100
    BBC Bias says:

  101. 101
    I used to vote UKIP . says:

    You want to play with the big boys ,you will have to learn to take it .

  102. 102
    I used to vote UKIP . says:

    Oh yes it has .

  103. 103
    Cpl Hicks says:

    Non-working people, enrichers and fuktards vote labour.

  104. 104
    UKIP says:

    We’ve just won a national UK election in the chamber that rubber-stamps 80% of British laws.

  105. 105
    Dame Tessa says:

    Hello peasants. It’s Dame Tessa here, the lady whose cut glass vowels makes Melonie Phillips sound like Janet Street-Porter.

    Talking about elections – how DARE that Lammy creature try to take my job as 2016 London Mayor orf me!.

    Well, I can tell you this – I am FURIOUS and Angela Eagle is BESIDE herself with anger. She says if Clammy or Lammy or whatever the bounder calls himself, doesn’t withdraw IMMEDIATELY she will bring the lesbians out in sympathy. That will mean only about five women on the Labour benches and hundreds of dicks in the PLP

  106. 106
    Fred the pensioner says:

    Can you please point out for us the page that mentions bumsex marriage?

  107. 107
    Butch Dave says:

    These whispers are not really to attack Carswell, but to deter any other MPs who might be considering defection.

    I mean how many MPs have a healthy brain and a straightforward marriage?

    How many MPs with no dirt on them?

  108. 108
    UKIPPER says:

    Vote Tory and never get a referendum, Cameron can be seen telling Peter Bone and the whole HOC this fact, was he lying then or is he lying now . You choose

  109. 109
    LibLabCon says:

    If the Tories were doing this as a serious government measure intended to give us proper democracy then we could have applauded.

    However we know that the real situation is that they’re embarrassed and so have resorted to another of their clever stunts which only serves to highlight how childish and bereft of ideas the Tories presently are. This is not a mature response it is spite dressed up as smart.

  110. 110
    Anonymong says:

    You forgot photoshopping.

  111. 111
    Warren, Mary's brother says:

  112. 112
    Ed Balls says:

    What is 900,000 x 0?

    I tried using ordon’s £1 calculator and it said “BOOBIES”

  113. 113
    brwims says:

    Of course Guido is part and parcel of the smear campaign – he LOVES the Tories, but can’t see that they’ve been taken over by Marxists.

  114. 114
    Socialism Ate My Future says:

    And along with both the French and Serbs kick started WW1 after the second Balkan war. Although our FO wasn’t too squeaky clean either.

  115. 115
    Ed Balls says:

    That is as fuckwitted as “my grandad used to vote X so I do”

  116. 116
    Ed Balls says:

    That’s why not.

  117. 117
    Ed Balls says:


  118. 118
    Butch Dave says:

    *Our* child, Darling. That’s what we agreed to tell everyone.

  119. 119
    Gordon Brown, Prime Minister says:

    I’m considering defecation

  120. 120
    cured lefty says:

    Any party that welcomes denis mcshame , cyril smith chris hulne ad infuckifintum
    do you see where im going you fuckin cretin!

  121. 121
    Jaque O'Nory says:

    You’re not ignoring us anymore then ??

  122. 122
    Jaque O'Nory says:

    My Tesco telly is made by ISIS.
    I unplug it at night, point it west and hide my machete just to be sure.

  123. 123
    Just Saying says:

    Both you and the BBC seem to have never heard of the Russian Civil War 1918-1922.

Seen Elsewhere

Bashir Twitter Meltdown | Mirror
Bashir is a Wrong’un | Norman Tebbit
Natalie Bennett Says it Should Not be a Crime to Belong to ISIS | Indy
LibDems Fifth in London | Standard
45 Mirror Group Stories Linked to Phone-Hacking | Press Gazette
Dave’s Diet | Speccie
Pink’O’Flynn | HuffPo
Trojan Horse Destroying British Values | Nick Wood
We Must Not Call Charlie Hebdo Killers ‘terrorists’ | Telegraph
Tory MEP Promised Bashir Investigation | Scrapbook
Stop May Pact | Times

Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

George Galloway says of his former Respect candidate the UKIP MEP turned Tory, Amjad Bashir…

“Clearly Bashir does not have any real political principles or commitment, only naked opportunism and self-interest. He represents the revolving door principle in politics. The Tories are welcome to him because he will cause them embarrassment. Fortunately Respect was able to act before he did it to us.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,715 other followers