June 20th, 2014

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201 Comments

  1. 1

    Way back in early October 2010, less than a week after his election to the leadership of his party, we were openly talking of DUEMA – Don’t Unseat Ed Miliband Association.

    The idea that he was a winner, for the opposite party. The subject was discussed for two years, both here and elsewhere.

    Is it possible that Ed and his entire crew missed the column inches, or miles, of this stuff completely? Did they simply ignore it? Or do these people only exist only in a parallel universe?

    Everything that was forecast is coming true. He is delivering in exactly the manner we said he would. How can they be so stupid?

  2. 2
    Free the Max One says:

    WTF?

  3. 3
    I only read the Guardian Comments section for a laugh says:

    Exactly right. As we get closer to next May Miliband will get even more desperate and will look for a headline grabbing policy that will put Cameron on the back foot. Youth working schemes and environmental legislation isn’t enough; I sense an EU referendum pledge coming.

  4. 4
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Pledge an owl for every European ?

  5. 5
    Father Jack says:

    Don’t tell me I’m still on that fecking island !

  6. 6
    The day went well for democracy, it died as the Wally's voted yes says:

    If Liebour gave us an EU referendum, it will be the same as the last EEC referendum we had in 1976 a YES, YES one, with the media saying yes.

  7. 7
    Ellie-Mae (9) says:

    F*ck it, I’m just so full of race hate.
    I especially hate the race of tw@ts called MPs

  8. 8

    This actually happened:

    Vote UKIP :-D

  9. 9
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    The next person to use the word ‘owl’ will be disabled.

  10. 10
    D.Blunkett says:

    Owl

  11. 11
    Viperous Old Vince says:

    POLL PLOT OR POL POT ??

  12. 12
    Gordon, saviour of the Union says:

    As it’s nice weather, I’m going to St Andrews for the weekend.

    If any students fancy a Clown.vs.Gown rumble, come on if think you’re hard enough.

  13. 13
    English Values says:

    I guess the Union is doomed now that Gordoom is a supporter.

  14. 14
    The Vicar of Albion says:

    Private Eye were right on the money with their cover this week.

  15. 15
    Bloke says:

    Facebook? Does anyone still use that? It’s 2014!

  16. 16
    cured lefty says:

    I can’t wait till next week’s Matthew shyite show ,he’s just got to have yasmin guesting…
    just watch his desk vibrate ever so slightly as he chuggs himself into a self congratulatory lefty orgasim on the delightful totally coherent indo paki carpetbagging ugandan fetching up in Britain and besting the tired old white stereotype . I mean I ask you if idi amin could spot these fuckers a continent off how the fuck did we end up this ungratful whore
    We’
    re getting fucked up the arsehole by the enemy and if you really think about it they are not the go to usual suspects!!!

  17. 17
    Alex Salmond, formerly the cleverest politician in Britain says:

    Ich bin ein Costa Rican!

  18. 18
    Socialism is theft says:

    Their secret weapon is to drink a gallon of coffee before the match. Then they just piss on the opposition.

  19. 19
    Bert says:

    That pic of the four of you reminds me of the pilot for some sort of 1960s TV show — The Persuaders, say — made, however, not on a budget of £400,000 an episode, more like £12.50, with the desperate executive producer rounding up four geezers from the DSS on the promise of an afternoon’s work and a free feed in the teavan.

  20. 20
    Bert says:

    They’re LibDems, so who gives a shit?

  21. 21
    The Growler says:

    “join the thousands of subscribers who get the Guidogram first…” you mean the narcissistic prats Geedes, they all feigned their dislike for Spitting Image, they all watched it, when the series all the MPs wanted to buy a puppet of themselves.

  22. 22
    Socialism is theft says:

    Reservoir hogs.

  23. 23
    The Growler says:

    OK a group of raptors, who’s eyes always look strainght ahead so they have to turn their heads to see sideways, they are are renowned for silent flight

  24. 24
    The Growler says:

    For moment I miss read the word “rumble” for a moment I thought it read fumble

  25. 25
  26. 26
  27. 27
    Spartacus says:

    of that referendum, I have only ever met two people who admitted to voting yes.

    all the rest voted no.

  28. 28
    The Growler says:

    No sign of the regulatory beer stained tee shirt, you have to admit they are trying to look butch

  29. 29
    Withnail (or is it I?) says:

    I want the finest owls available to humanity, and I want them here and I want them now!

  30. 30
    What he actually said says:

    I will send a message, that the next person to use the word ‘owl’ could be disabled in 2017 or sometime after.

  31. 31
    Minder says:

    Get the silly old fool out of the pub, he’s had half a shandy already.

  32. 32
    The Growler says:

    Poor kids, you have to have sympathy for them. I thought Boris would have been more suitable, sort of eastern block name

  33. 33
    Mr & Mrs Balls and the 2nd Home flippists says:

    Paying their own way.

  34. 34
    Gordon says:

    Grrrrrrrrrr!

  35. 35
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    What labour politicians fear most – Owl bites.

  36. 36
    Horny theologist says:

    Silent flight in the night, in fact.

    Actually, that’s unfair to owls –
    I mean, which would you sooner trust, an owl or an MP ?

  37. 37
    Guido 4 U says:

    So if I have an accident that wasn’t my fault are you the guys I should call?

  38. 38
    Kosovonian says:

    Thank you Mr Tony for sending some other mothers sons to help us.

  39. 39
    Jimmy the Dhimmi says:

    SPOILER SOILER ALERT !!

    It’s a link to the Gurniad; only the lefty, bed-wetting, hand-wringing, self-loathing, metropolitan elite read those fairy stories.

  40. 40
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Hmmm … Maybe the avengers? Or more likely the new avengers.
    Gf is Steed
    HC is Gambit
    AW is Purdey

    Nope one too many.

    Maybe the Zoo gang ?

  41. 41
    Dial-a-Poofter says:

    Chat with chubby homosexualists in your area!

    They are waiting for your call!

    Min. £1.50 a minute on BT networks.

  42. 42
    nell says:

    Where is my free owl by the way? I would have thought I’d have got it in the post by now.Militwit promised it!!

  43. 43
    Mycroft says:

    May I help you?

    Banana Splits.

  44. 44
    Bill Quango MP says:

  45. 45
    The BBC's coverage of Ed's IN/OUT referendum says:

    Everyone must vote to stay in the EU, because 4 million British jobs depend on it. And if we leave the EU, we won’t be able to trade with Europe and everyone will start to rot and a meteorite will blat the Earth and send us spiralling into the sun. Or deep space.

    And now, we interview some black people in Cornwall who are very representative of Britain as a whole to see why they’re wisely going to vote to stay in the EU.

  46. 46
    nell says:

    http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/technology/willardfoxton2/100013850/labour-wants-to-run-the-country-it-cant-even-run-a-twitter-account/

    I think militwit’s labour’s Free Owl policy is even more entertaining than gordon’s Elvis moment!!

  47. 47
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    Recommended reading page 5.

  48. 48
    Fucked off with Scottish parasites says:

    Good.

  49. 49
    Bill Quango MP says:

    there’s a backlog. Go online and complete form 235/kl/.gov [new avian silent flight nocturnal optimal}
    Complete schedule E and D

    Your owl should be with you by 2019

  50. 50
    David Axlegrease says:

  51. 51
  52. 52
    The only thing good on this blog is the comments. says:

    The fossils in the photo above (in their weirdly 1980’s poses) seem to think it’s still relevant. Mind you, they still copy and paste from Twitter as if it’s still ‘edgy’ or ‘relevant’, as opposed to a seething sea of shit.

  53. 53
  54. 54
    Ho Hum says:

    Disembowled?

  55. 55
    Harriet Harman says:

    I’m a Guidophile!

  56. 56
    Fabbers says:

    Four * and no piano?

  57. 57
    Cameron is a thick cunt but Miliband is even worse says:

    “Ed Miliband must go if we lose election”

    If?

  58. 58
    Bill Quango MP says:

    OK .. I think that’s conclusive.

  59. 59
    Diane Abbott says:

    What’s wrong with black people?

    WAAAYCIST!

  60. 60
    Little beeboid people, mostly gayers says:

    Don’t forget us and the effnic block.

    Vote for any fuckin shit, they will.

  61. 61
    Gordon the fruitcake says:

    It’s never my fault.

  62. 62
    Herman van Rompuy (Úbermong) says:

    A firm put-down from their EU masters?

  63. 63
    yaswhinge says:

    They hate us because we are women.

  64. 64
    Little world cupboardd people, mostly gayers says:

    We want our money back. Saved for years we did.

  65. 65
    Balirites hate him Sooooo Much says:

    It’s going to be a hilarious year watching labour and the BBC having to support Ed Miliband and hating every minute of it.
    Suck it up wankers.

  66. 66
    JH26213-454635 says:

    Yup, mainly they will vote for themselves once they have the numbers.

    Then they and their (very) extended family get all the juicy graft and contracts, without needing to be plugged into the Labour Borg and patronised the life out of.

  67. 67
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    Knives out for Ed?

  68. 68
    Kinnock never ran away from reforming Labour says:

    They can’t kick Ed out he hasn’t finished de toxifiying the Labour party of Blairites yet.

  69. 69
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    Good day to bury bad news.

  70. 70
    táxpáyér says:

    Latest gay boyband fails in #1 bid.

  71. 71
    How low can you go? says:

    Ed’s so bad a ginger bloke can last longer as Labour leader.

  72. 72
    táxpáyér says:

    Ed is Foul.
    f-owl
    geddit?

  73. 73
    stun() says:

    Mine came squished in the laptop which finally arrived. Says ‘Runs Windowls XP’, so is already a tad out of date, though the nocturnal avian looks reasonably fresh.

  74. 74
    Owl says:

    Twitterwoo

  75. 75

    Presumably, their column inches, did not extend as far.

    *Can’t believe I just said that – goes to wash hands*

  76. 76
    táxpáyér says:

    How do you spell toniblayr in arabic?

  77. 77

    This is quite a weighty organ.

  78. 78
    Village Idiot says:

    …..He has infected the labour party with “Milibites”, …..

  79. 79
    The BBC says:

    Why can’t we just go back to when everybody loved Tony, except it not be Tony, and him not be so right wing, we want it to not to be Tony and for him to be left wing.

    Like Miliband. Fuck.

    Look, we know people in this country aren’t really left wing but we have control of the fucking transmitters and we are going to make out they are like there is no fucking tomorrow.

  80. 80
    cured lefty says:

    Apart from chucky, harriet , the eagle bros et al (professional liars) who the fuck in their right mind thinks milliband has got what it takes
    if I’m going to get conned and make no mistake we’re getting humped 360 degrees by all.
    I’d rather admit dave boy smooth fooled me than the abysmally dysfunctional tit that leads the labour !

  81. 81

    Look at the comments on that article.

    Labour are more split than Octomom on a Sybian.

  82. 82
    God knows what says:

    Plotting planning sneaking around briefing journalists and boasting to young ladies about his nuclear weapon and the old wanker is still on the front bench.
    He must have some serious sexual deviant shit on Clegg and the rest of the LibDems.

  83. 83
    Diane Abbott says:

    Can I have a big slice of PIE?

  84. 84
    Anonymous says:

    We’re all white!

  85. 85

    Czech Republic President has proposed abolishing Visa’s for Russ!ans:

    http://lenta.ru/news/2014/06/20/czech/

    Vote UKIP :-D

  86. 86

    And that is a problem because … ?

    Vote UKIP :-D

  87. 87

    Q. What is the difference between a marksman and a night owl?

    A. One shoots and hits…

  88. 88
    nell says:

    labour are utterly hopeless at removing disastrously failing leaders. You only have to look at their history!!

  89. 89

    Did I use the word problem? Did I? :-)

    Vote UKIP, vote often :-D

  90. 90
    Derry Cocksporn (LibDem) says:

    Come and join us !!

  91. 91
    الشيخ الخاص صانع المال says:

    الفاسد الكلب الكافر الذي الاحتقار من قبل الله

  92. 92
    Bloomers in rain-soaked Bongo Bongo Land says:

    Don’t be daft

  93. 93
    1992 re run I reckon says:

    It is the voting floater who usually decides the outcome of an election and I can’t see them floating in Ed’s direction at all.
    They’re not that desperate for change to vote for Labour let alone Labour led by that spacker.

  94. 94
    Bloomers in rain-soaked Bongo Bongo Land says:

    Don’t be daft.

  95. 95
    Doris from Droitwich says:

    Where’s that mosquito net that the last idiot promised us. Went in American idol to tell us about how lucky we were to get them.

    And he promised an end to boom and bust. And a cure for cancer.

  96. 96
    nell says:

    And a leader who, objectionably, continually points his finger at his audience during major speeches, like foot, kinnochio, gurninggordon and now militwit , are statistically very unlikely to end up winning an electoral vote!

  97. 97
    Vlad the bare-back rider says:

    Mastercard it is then.

  98. 98
    Diane Abbott says:

    WAAAYCIST!

  99. 99
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

  100. 100
    nell says:

    I wonder whether davemilitwit , who is currently having an absolute Ball in New York and really enjoying life in America , would consider coming back to try and rescue the labour party that his brother edmilitwit has trashed in two short years??!! I do hope not!!

  101. 101

    Interesting body language looking at that pic.

    H@rry is about to thump Alex. Alex is going to parry the attack with his braces. Simon is aloof from it all but a sketch is forming in his mind. Our esteemed host has turned his back on it all.

    Yes, looks like a typical Friday at the shop.

  102. 102
    nell says:

    HoHum!! bullyballs in charge of the the Treasury and No 11, That would be like putting an uneducated kid in charge of a sweet shop!!!

  103. 103
    Anonymous says:

    Wish this sanctimonious prat who threw away a seat would give it a rest for five minutes.

  104. 104
    nell says:

    No what dianeabbot wants is a slice of the political pie that gives her loadsamoney!

  105. 105

    I can accept all sorts of tosh from Y A-B, but any claim that she is a woman is simply a step too far.

  106. 106
    Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

    Bad day for him, it would have been a good day for us, but know doubt the taxpayers will pay his fine.

  107. 107
    Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

    Liebour did they put uneducated Broon in charge, the amount of money he used up , he must have restocked the sweetshop millions of times.

  108. 108
    SIZE 15 CARBON FOOTPRINT says:

    Do you mean substitute Mike for Bernie Winters?
    It is only the crass ineffective spluttering marxist twat Ed that makes his brother a slightly less crass spluttering marxist twat remotely electable.

  109. 109

    Thought Roger Moore was a great bloke but he was decorated for his acting for this. :-)

    A lifetime of eyebrow control…

  110. 110
  111. 111
    Princess Diane channeling Sol Campbell says:

    The only reason I haven’t been put in charge of the country yet is because the voters are racist.

  112. 112
    Fartbot says:

    Silent flight
    Holy flight
    All is calm
    All is wellllll…

  113. 113
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    You mean their sorry and pitiful Marxist history – because behind every Marxist front of the Labour party – many labour dupes ‘still haven’t worked out who’s been funding them from a distance … Labour and its loons, goons and deluded dupes.

    btw The Tory party – have been duped ‘likewise’ from the equally evil and opposite direction – but don’t let on eh – the British Public will never ever find out!

  114. 114
    Diane Abbott says:

    IS IT COS I IS BLACK???

    WAAAYCIST!!!!!!!

  115. 115
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    Yet another useless set of journos and hacks ‘become the story’

    Personally why didn’t Fabric state that he would punch her lieby lie fucking lights out – i would – just as i would melanoma phillips’.

  116. 116
    Flabby tabs says:

    Whose the fat fucker on the extreme right?

  117. 117
    Gordon Brown says:

    ” Come on England “

  118. 118

    I voted yes. But it was yes to EEC and what I thought was going to be free trade.

    If that were the proposition today and it was genuine, I would vote exactly the same way. No embarrassment at all about that.

    I never even thought for a Milisecond about voting for Blair though…

  119. 119
    Flabby tabs says:

    Note the BBC only have it on their Leeds and Yorkshire page so few will see it. Now had that been a Tory….

  120. 120
    Uncle Joe says:

    Those who cast the votes decide nothing. Those who count the votes decide everything.

  121. 121
    fruitcake says:

    fuckoff and die Gordon

  122. 122
    Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

    Has school term already finished, when is the party.

  123. 123
    Good riddance says:

    Why is there such hysteria about the revelation that some muzees from Britain have gone to fight in Syria? I think this is the best news in ages. What can be better than muslims in the UK leaving to go and die in Syria? It means one less potential terrorist here and one less muslim leeching off the state.

    If anything, the government should encourage all muslims here to go and fight alongside their brothers in Syria. British Airways should offer free one way flights to any muslim who wants it. Good riddance muzees. You won’t be missed.

  124. 124
    Jacobite half seas over the water says:

    No one should insult our leader. Even Bonnie Prince Charlie put on weight during his later years.

  125. 125
    Gordon Brown says:

    I wish England well in the 2018 World Cup.

  126. 126
    Sam the Skull says:

    Maybe they’ll manage to blow up their own airplane on the way over.

  127. 127
    Tachybaptus says:

    That’s not his hand. It’s a Cornish pasty.

  128. 128
    Deja Vue says:

    World Cup 2014: Police investigate fans with wheelchairs pictured standing up during matches

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/world-cup/10914352/World-Cup-2014-Police-investigate-fans-with-wheelchairs-pictured-standing-up-during-matches.html

    A group of supporters who appeared to jump out of their wheelchairs while watching matches at the World Cup are being investigated for possible ticket fraud.

  129. 129
    Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

    I think the major shock in that piccy is neo Harry, how the hell did they get him to comb his hair, did they have to give him an anaesthetic or did they just tie him down and get guy the gorilla to comb it, I bet harry was so upset they must have used more than a piss up in a brewery to calm him down :-)

  130. 130
    Balls does the thumbs up by the road says:

    Could lose his driving license. With a small majority to defend come 2015 what is he to do. As shadow chancellor he will need to be in London. As a sitting MP in a marginal he needs to spend as much time in his constitency.

    CAN NOT DRIVE

  131. 131
    The Wild Colonial Boy says:

    May an owl go after you. Or at least a tawny frogmouth.

  132. 132
    i am not a bummer but i do think jacob rees-mogg is very sexy says:

    something coming through this blog via adobe flash appears to be rogue.

  133. 133
    Anonymous says:

    Any bets. Suarez will be playing for RM next season.

  134. 134
    i am not a bummer but i do think jacob rees-mogg is very sexy says:

    well let’s hope they all managed to get passports.

  135. 135
    Flabby tabs says:

    We’re these actual fans or the entire England football team?

    England, Probably the highest paid footballers in the world and the dopey useless twats cant even get through the qualifying stages.

  136. 136
    Too Far, Too Fast says:

  137. 137
    Deja Vue says:

    “We’re”

    “cant”

    “England, Probably”

    Can you speak English?

  138. 138
    Post-neoclassical endogenous growth says:

  139. 139
    Cat smoker from far away says:

    We don’t like your laws. We come to this country but we don’t have to obay your laws. If we want to smoke KAT that is up to us because we don’t have to abide by your stupid laws. If you dont like it you Inglish can fcuk off out of Ingland.

  140. 140
    pookie snackumberger says:

    You seem to forget they are not nasty capitalists/Tories, but nice good labour people so even if they did this minor thing it was the right thing to do.

  141. 141
    Anonymous says:

    Aged 20 I voted yes. But only on the basis of the lies that Heath put to the country. A traitor, should have been strung up.

  142. 142
    Was there ever a useful person called Roy says:

    Well, Suarez jumped out of a wheelchair to beat England, so why not…

  143. 143
    JadedJean says:

    Heroes too good for you to handle. Fuckwit!

  144. 144
    Mark Oaten says:

    Did somebody say shit???
    :D

  145. 145
    Nicki Minaj says:

    I am a blind owl.

  146. 146
    RED LEN says:

  147. 147
    Mad,mozzie Medievalist says:

    You are a sharia of shit.

  148. 148
    KEITH VAJAZZLE says:

    I know short-cuts to passports……

  149. 149
    Diane Abbongobongott says:

    Just as long as he didn’t send his kids to private school. That would be wrong.

  150. 150
    Diane Abbott says:

    WAAAYCIST!

  151. 151
    Fred says:

    Older and fatter

  152. 152
  153. 153
    jgm2 says:

    You’re right to be a Guidophile and right to apologise for being a Guidophile.

  154. 154
    jgm2 says:

    Percentage-wise you lost every election for the past 100 years.

    28% of the 70% or so of those who expressed an opinion voted for the Maximum Imbecile. 0.28 x 0.7 ~ 20%.

    If Miliband manages to get a ‘majority’ with 35% of the voters that will be a thumping mandate of 0.35 x 0.7 ~ 25% of the eligible voters ie 1 in 4 of the voters yet the c*unt will still claim a ‘mandate’ just as the Imbecile and the war-monger Blair did.

    This is all, no doubt, for bedwetters and mass-murderer apologists very funny while it works in Labour’ favour. Right up until the Religion of Peace (RoP) with its in-built 100% postal vote multiplier takes over the country with about 10% of the votes.

  155. 155
    jgm2 says:

    Him and his incompetent boss, the Maximum Imbecile, arse-r*a*ed the UK economy and now this utterly incompetent jackass wants another go?

    Are the voters really that fucking stupid? No wonder rich people keep all their money away from such incompetent jackasses.

  156. 156
    Jacobite half cut over the water says:

    Would be closer to the truth.

  157. 157
    jgm2 says:

    Yeah. Louise Mensch.

    An object lesson in the pointlessness of box-tickling women-only shortlists.

    At least in the case of Mensch she was just about smart enough and rich enough to figure that traipsing through the lobby like a well-beaten sled-dog was less fun than quitting and living on her husband’s money.

    The real danger comes from the likes of Plankton such as Harman and Abbott who, were it not for their ticking of the diversity box, would be giving free blow-jobs just to have something warm in their stomach.

  158. 158
    MPs Expenses says:

    We pay for his train fares and driver

  159. 159
    albacore says:

    Is this the Summer Solstice or All Fools’ Day?

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-27941589

  160. 160

    It’s enough to make you consider electoral reform isn’t it?

    And for the 94th time. must postal votes, and most voter fraud, is tory.

  161. 161
    GetReal says:

    Cause offence or hurt feelings, sentenced to 9 to 12 months in prison.

    But carry a knife or assault someone with a baseball bat and get a caution or a £75 fine.

    Justice under the SNP!

  162. 162
    It may be some sort of reality, Jimmy, but not as the vast majority know it says:

    Now, that is an extraordinarily warped view. I have seen plenty of complaints about fraudulent voting over the years but never once have they involved votes for Tories.
    What are you saying here – that Tories have the intelligence to cover their tracks while Labour don’t ?
    Besides, I’ve never seen anyone deny that out voting system has been rigged so as to be inherently biased against the Tories. No doubt you would suggest that it was the Tories who did that too.

  163. 163
    Cuntspill Reiver says:

    All eyes on Somerset, then.

  164. 164

    No shortage of complaints I admit. If there’s one thing you’re good at it’s whingeing. The point is, like most of what you believe, it’s not evidence based. Check the stats for voter fraud convictions and see who is overwhelmingly responsible.

    “I’ve never seen anyone deny that out voting system has been rigged”

    I believe you. You should probably get out more.

  165. 165
    The Colonel says:

    RSM Cleese didn’t get as far as showing us how to defend ourselves against an assailant armed with a strip of bacon but both the muzzies and the judiciary could learn a lot from this excerpt from “Owl-stretching Time”:

  166. 166
    Ann, the poverty stricken accounts clerk says:

    Cat, English is such a wonderful language. In just one word we differentiate between a ‘woman’ and a ‘lady’ – and our deeply embedded traditional values tell us exactly what we mean with no further explanation needed. There are of course a few other words which might apply, but again not one of them needs any further expansion in order to convey an exact meaning.

    En passant, perhaps we should just ban everybody called Jasmine (or equivalent variants ) as they all seem to be totally loony lefty fukwits.

  167. 167

    I have to admit that I have always had a problem with the second syllable in the word ‘fuckwit’.

    It is too generous by half for the intended recipient…

  168. 168
    101 dalmations and a mongrel says:

    Woof woof!!

  169. 169
    101 dalmations and a mongrel says:

    Oh Doris, do keep up. He abolished mosquitoes. In fact the last one flew in about 1949. Where have you been all your life?

  170. 170
    Fred the pensioner says:

    Yet another blasted Labour criminal MP to add to our ever growing list.

    20 years to life for what he did to our economy and education systems should just about cover it.. Oh, and another 5 for leaving the scene of a hit and run….

  171. 171
    Fred the pensioner says:

    Did you mean mozzy bites?

  172. 172
    One of his despairing constituents says:

    Can’t he get a lift in with his wife? They could claim double mileage as compo..

  173. 173
    One of her despairing constituents says:

    No, Di, it’s because you represent one of the very thickest constituencies in England. Nobody else ever noticed before that you were of a darker hue than many of the natives.

  174. 174
    Flaming Torches R Us says:

    Better watch out then – lots of Roma with chainsaws about these days (and all thanks to that beloved Tony of yours). We’ll be producing accurate maps of transmitter locations for them in due course…

  175. 175
    Flaming Torches R Us says:

    Singapore is a bit hot, but otherwise lovely at this time of the year.

    Longest day today, so can stay up late!

  176. 176
    Flaming Torches R Us says:

    The sensible thing to do now would be to deport every single member of the families of these cvnts to Damascus and do not let any of them back in. To be done by 4pm Monday would be ok.

  177. 177
    Flaming Torches R Us says:

    Are you still trying to keep the Union together or have you had a change of mind and U-turned (again)?

  178. 178
    Flaming Torches R Us says:

    Can Theresa please deport Katz to Cuba? Sounds like a nice place
    at this time of the year…:-)

  179. 179
    Flaming Torches R Us says:

    .. and if you persist with all this shit you will be facing a sharia of fire. You have been warned!

  180. 180
    Flaming Torches R Us says:

    Roy of the Rovers – always overcame every obstacle to win (unlike the w*nkers chosen to represent England in Brazil)

    Roy Rogers – always got the evil black-hatted bad guys before the end of the film

    Roy Plomley – always played music from his lonely desert island in London W1

    (That’s enough Roys: Ed)

  181. 181
    Inside blowing whistles says:

    Yemeni greaseball Vaz can thank Tony for the high cost of a passport today. He was the one who ruled about 10 years ago that all such services should be “self-funding” (oh and make a few quid on the side please to help with the forthcoming austerity crisis). What we now have is the physical cost of a passport, plus a spot of hidden VAT plus another spot of theft of taxpayers’ money.

  182. 182
    Insider blowing whistles says:

    Somebody just stole an ‘R’ from my nom de guerre…..

  183. 183
    Prepared female says:

    My judo teacher told me that the easiest way to protect yourself from militant muzzies was to always carry an easily-openable jar of fresh pig’s blood to spray on them. More effective than a tazer apparently.

  184. 184
    Flabby tabs says:

    Why don’t you go fuck yourself

  185. 185
    Seals and Crofts says:

    Who’s the bloke between Simon and Fat Boy?

  186. 186
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    Just as Ed Miliband thought it was a good day to bury bad news, The Guardian tries to bury him.

  187. 187
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    You can still get pigs heads from traditional high street butchers shops, this will keep them at arms distance or you could hit them over the head with a copy of the Beano with Dennis the Menace and Rasher article.

  188. 188
    non taxable pikey says:

    Why ISIS needs obliterating, read the statement in full. They apparently have a direct line to All-ah. http://www.mesop.de/2014/06/20/alarming-statement-by-isis-on-al-hasaka-what-plans-isis-next/

  189. 189
    Village Idiot says:

    …..I,ve voted since 1970, including ’75, when I voted “NO” in the European referendum!….I do not have the country I craved, quite the opposite,, which proves to me that our democracy is an illusion,and democracy is used as a tool to make the plebs feel as if they made a difference!
    Islam and Europe, two unresolved issues , one caused by a dodgy vote, the other foisted upon an unsuspecting population without any democratic permissions, so, I will vote, as I did in the euro vote, for UKIP, but I have seen through the fake , open to fraud, voting system!

  190. 190
    An old but unwise bird says:

    I am a Tessa J Owl.

  191. 191
    Roy Hodgson says:

    Politics is a game of two halves. Half the time the Tories are in letting in millions of immigrants. The other half Labour are in screwing the economy and letting in millions of immigrants.

  192. 192
    Anonymous says:

    Khat.

  193. 193
    Anonymous says:

    “what politicians fear the most”
    Is it killer simple questions, that expose incontrovertible illogicality in the presented narrative? Since any absence of cogent responses suggests, it’s mere ideology based on a less than imperfect invention. If only they could face up to and address the obvious, even Isis could be dismantled peacefully piece by hypothetical piece.

  194. 194

    I bet Guido loves getting a good touching from strangers hahaha

  195. 195

    I would imagine that members of that team love getting in touch with strangers

  196. 196
    Ann, etc etc says:

    Ok. Fuckdims then. Ca m’est egal!

  197. 197
    Tim Yeo-Yo says:

    Are voters that fucking stupid?

    Have you not ever read one of Jimmy’s or Moussas posts? They’re not just stupid, they’re fullblown, bed wetting retarded.

  198. 198
    gildedtumbril says:

    Time to set up your own party, Guido!

  199. 199
    Nigel Evans says:

    Drrrrrriiiiink!!! Feck arse!!!

    Those are the things I’d like to do to that cute blonde twink second from left.

  200. 200
    (That's enough Eds, Ed!) says:

    “Real mad bird!”

  201. 201
    Seen It All, Heard Them All says:

    The same is true of the LibDems and Clegg. All know what will happen to the LibDems at the GE and after that Clegg will probably leave for Brussels. Yet, as with Foot and Miliband it is played out to the tragic end.

    Why? Because it is important to the front bench jugglers to keep the turkey alive until the front runners can get his job and proceed with a clean slate. Replacing him before the GE and one inherits the mire into which he has put the party.

    They care more for leading not winning.


Media Reader

Newspapers No Longer Willing to Toe Party Line | Roy Greenslade
London Live to Cut 20 Staff to Buy in More Content | Press Gazette
Telegraph Revealed Auschwitz 3 Years Before Liberation | Telegraph
Mirror Hacking: 50 Legal Action Claims | Press Gazette
45 Mirror Group Stories Linked to Phone-Hacking | Press Gazette
We Must Not Call Charlie Hebdo Killers ‘terrorists’ | Telegraph
Page 3 and the Art of the Self-Pity Statement | Guardian
Here is What a 7 Way Debate Sounds Like | BBC
Poll: Sun Readers Want Page 3 to Stay | Business Insider
The Sun: An Apology | Press Gazette
More Women Prosecuted For Telly Tax | Mail


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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”


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