May 26th, 2014

EXC: Farage Calls for Electoral Commission to Be Abolished

Speaking exclusively to Guido in the media scrum after his press conference, Nigel Farage has called for the Electoral Commission to be abolished for allowing the misleadingly named An Independence From Europe party onto the ballot papers. Farage accepted that the spoiler party cost UKIP an even greater win, the party is furious that Gawain Towler was denied a seat in the South West because of the vote being split by the other party’s “UK Independence Now” slogan. The UKIP leader tells Guido:

“The Electoral Commission was set up if you remember to stop things like the Literal Democrats from ever happening again. In their 13 years of existence, their only achievement that I can see is to have presided over a massive growth in postal voting fraud. They’ve hounded UKIP almost to the point of bankruptcy. We only survived 4-3 at the Supreme Court from going bankrupt. They now allow a party that put UK Independence Now on the ballot paper, that cost us a seat in the South West. Frankly they are not fit for purpose. I’d close the whole thing down and start again.”

Please credit quote to Guido Fawkes.

The Electoral Commission claimed the names of the two parties were sufficiently different. Which is laughable considering it impacted upon the final result…


  1. 1
    Anonymous says:

    Well I’m voting libor come what may next year..m

  2. 2
    Roger Helmer says:

    UKIP’s top Scottish candidate – who left foreign students thousands out of pocket when he shut his language—3464384#.U4MtG67HW8A.facebook

  3. 3
    Incapable Vince, deputy Chief Cockroach says:


  4. 4
    Anonymous says:

    And he’s right, how the bloody hell can they allow ballot boxes to be sealed with just cable ties for instance…..

  5. 5
    Anonymous says:

    If you couldn’t tell the difference you probably shouldn’t be allowed to vote.

  6. 6
    Oleaginous ‘Dave’ – slithering through a bed of slimy excuses says:

    I have grudgingly heeded the results and am thoroughly green with envy.

    However, I am confident the sheeple will listen to me next time – or I’ll have to a little adjustment to the VOTING process – which clearly didn’t work properly this time!

  7. 7
    Paul Stott says:

    The only thing to add to this analysis is that it was the Electoral Commission in Wales that allowed a group of fascists to stand, using the name of Lee Rigby, without the consent of any of his family.

    Scrap the Electoral Commission, and find something that works.

  8. 8
    Socialism = Starvation says:

    Because it suits them.

  9. 9
    james "complete bollocks" nochteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee says:

    the big story tonight is………………………ah……er……..ukip

  10. 10
    Socialism = Starvation says:

    said every dictator.

  11. 11
    Ed Millionaireband says:

    Many ballots were folded at the bottom. Moronic LibLabCon are not required to make a choice

  12. 12
    RomaBobbieBooBoo says:

    The EC are a bunch of Hunts…….. the postal votes situation is a scandal that only favours Liebor.

  13. 13
    Establishment guy alert says:


  14. 14
    UKIP Hacking at the roots with the truth says:

    Dig down in the shit guido, find out the truth about this stich-up.

  15. 15
    Nick Griffin says:

    Hello :)

  16. 16
    Anonymous says:

    If they were supposedly here to learn they should have already known a reasonable amount of English before ever being allowed into the country…….

  17. 17
    why are we waiting... says:

    What’s the latest on the Tower Hamlets result?

  18. 18
    @hateliebour says:

    If you listened to the voting results last night it sounded as if the first political party did quite well on most of the results, where’s a geek when you need them to check out the voting numbers for all the voting, because I can’t be bothered

  19. 19

    Vote UKIP :-D

  20. 20
    Progressive wanker says:

    Awaiting another few planes full of postal votes arriving at heathrow, perhaps.

  21. 21
    Albert hall says:

    You’d need to be a bit thick though if you couldn’t tell the difference,

  22. 22
    Toenails deep analysis wasn't deep enough to spot that glaring anomoly the c*nt says:

    20+ thousand votes for a party nobody has heard of popping up all over the country and Dimbledor says fuck all about it on last nights election coverage.
    What an establishment stitch up.
    The anti EU message though is still clear even if folk were suckered into voting for a fake UKIP party.

  23. 23
    Baron John (Jacky) Arbuthnot Fisher says:

    These are the very same people that allow the ridiculous bias Labour get in the boundary system whereby they can pull out a landslide victory from the percentage the Tories require to get the slimmest majority.

  24. 24
    Fed up with civil servants says:

    Anyone who proposes sacking any civil service / quango has my’ve got one more vote for you.

  25. 25
    Mongo the Labour voter says:

    Mongo thick

  26. 26
    neitherdeadnoralive says:

    I had to look twice at the ballot paper; the faux UKIP was at the top and the real UKIP at the bottom; it must have cost UKIP some votes at least. Just another trick by the LibLabCon to cheat the public.

  27. 27
    The Old lady says:

    What? You are voting for the London Inter-Bank Overnight Rate?

  28. 28
    Liverpool returning officer says:

    They tried lead seals but they kept getting nicked

  29. 29
    Anonymous says:

    If you’re going to merge An independence Votes with UKIP, then you might as well merge the LibLabCon

  30. 30
    Death to all Fanatics says:

    1.5% of votes cast.

  31. 31
    M­a­­q­bo­­ul says:

    Going to Scotland to learn English….?

  32. 32
    The British media are cunts says:

    The EC is full of the media and political elite.

  33. 33
  34. 34
    Arse says:

    They weren’t sufficiently different. The first point to make is that they were placed AT THE TOP of the ballot, with Ukip at the bottom. The second is I had to do a double/triple-take to make sure it was the right party. I would hope every voter takes as much care as I did, but unfortunately I don’t think they do.

    Farage is right – we have to do things differently. The catchy memes have to be got rid of too. I want to see the party name and the candidates – not their current buzz phrases as well, which only serves to present a massive wall of text that further confuses the issue.

  35. 35
    Owen Jones says:

    Why is Nigel Farage in a dress?

  36. 36
    The British media are cunts says:

    I actually posted on this on election day. You have to suspect something up with the political elite allowing it.

  37. 37
    Sack the bloody lot of 'em says:

    Damn right!

  38. 38
    Gordon Brown's Greatest Fan says:

    Have to say Nigel has a point.
    According to the Electoral commissions own guidelines they would refuse to register a party name if it
    “is similar to another registered party and is likely to confuse voters”.

    Looks like a cynical, institutional disregard to the rules and it would be interesting to see what party names they have disallowed in recent years.

  39. 39
    A subtle but important point says:

    When a loser says the electoral system is bust I’d take that with a pinch of salt but when it’s a winner saying it then I think we should listen.
    Those who don’t want to listen must be in on it so let’s see which LibLabCon pussy sticks his head up first to deny there is a problem.

  40. 40
    Guido O'Fawkes says:

    Word is Eamon Gilmore, Irish DPM, about to resign after poor performance by Irish labour. nick clegg taking different course.

  41. 41
    Henry Crun says:


  42. 42
    Mornington Crescent says:

    1. Individual voter registration, not household registration.
    2. Registration only allowed upon production of ID and proof of residency.
    3. Postal and proxy voting only allowed ‘in extremis’.
    4. Voting at the Polling Station only allowed upon production of Polling Card: no Card, no vote.
    5. Voting moved to Sunday.

    After 4 whole years of Dave’s Conservatives, we’re just getting around to enacting point 1. Possibly.

    Get lost, Cameron – and take the useless Electoral Commission with you.

  43. 43
    Ed The DefeatEd says:

    Good day for England. Its voice was heard by everyone except Ed!

  44. 44
    suissebob says:

    Of course it’s facking laughable.

    But what do you expect from the crooked Labourite scum at the Electoral Commission.

  45. 45
    This was the point? says:

    If they change their name to A1 UKIP problem solved.

  46. 46
    Just an Ordinary Reader says:

    Where was this plot cooked up and who employs the personel behind it? I think we should be told.

  47. 47
    Socialism is theft says:

    The EC should be abolished for allowing Labour such a big advantage over constituency sizes. Why is a Labour vote in a strong Labour area worth the same as two in a Tory dominated area? Grossly unfair and I ain’t no Tory.

  48. 48

    You’ve never made an administrative error of any sort?

  49. 49
    Bus Pass Elvis Party says:

    We don’t want a loser like Cleggy, thanks.

  50. 50
    Corby says:

    Exactly – this useless body is in cahoots with the establishment – remember how feebly it allowed the Lib Bums to keep embezzled money from Brown? They gave as a reason that the Lib Dems could not have known the money was stolen and could not have been expected to have known.

  51. 51
    Dolphin Square Operative says:

    And here’s a thing. How is it that in what is laughingly called the most sophisticated democracy in the world, we have to cast our vote by making our mark with a Pencil! A bleedin Pencil for Christs sake. I took my trusty pen along. I hate to think how many pencil erasers have been worn out this weekend.

  52. 52
    BBC is shit says:

    UN Observers in Tower Hamlets initially with a view to being sent elsewhere in the UK.

  53. 53
    String Vest says:

    The only thing that RedEd has defeated in the last 3 years is his brother.

  54. 54

    Let’s be honest the whole election has been a farce from beginning to end.

  55. 55
    F.I.Mech.E says:

    I agree.

    I’m not stupid but I had to unfold the slip twice, and then double check the names of the parties. There was a real temptation to tick the first party box which was ‘An Independence from Europe’.

    It really is disgusting that our democracy is being corrupted in this way in so many directions, and the chief culprit as far as I am concerned is deceiful Dave who is colluding in the corruption.

    I guess it’s eton rules.

  56. 56
    James O'Bottom says:

    The question is really who is behind Mike Mattress.

  57. 57
    Bitchfinder General says:

    If you want to know who approved all this, it’s her.

    “Jenny Watson joined us in January 2009 as our second Chair. She is a non-Executive Director of WRAP (Waste and Resources Action Programme) and a trustee of the charity Money Advice Trust. She is Chair of the Independent Complaints Panel at the Portman Group.

    She was the last Chair of the Equal Opportunities Commission prior to the creation of the Commission for Equality and Human Rights, and is a past Deputy Chairman of both the Banking Code Standards Board, and of the Committee on Radioactive Waste Management. She has also worked in a number of human rights organisations, including Liberty and Charter88.”

    She’s also a common purpose screaming leftie.

    Does that answer your question?

  58. 58
    viagra says:

    Illegal teeth whitening

  59. 59
    Time to hold peter wardle to account says:

    don’t see how he can keep his job,I thought the first name was ukip and was in a hurry so voted wrongly,it’s a disgrace

  60. 60
    The 1922 Committee says:

    Interesting chart based on Thursday’s local election results with list of UKIP “targets”:

  61. 61
    BBC is shit says:

    Pencils hark back to a day when Englishmen could be trusted.
    With not many Englishmen around these days we’ll have to find another method of registering your vote.
    Razor cut and bloody thumb print sent for analysis elections results announced after three weeks along with STD results.

  62. 62
    You should work for the utilities says:

    is that you Peter Wardle

  63. 63
    LabCon Deceivers says:

    You won’t hear anything from them. The MSM are all in on the corruption.

    In fact most of the deceitful bullshit is created and disseminated from them and their fellow charlatans.

  64. 64
    A doc says:

    Yes – time to shut down every bloody one of them and put proper responsibility for whatever their subject is back where it belongs – with the Minister concerned.

    Alternatively, shut down 90% of government departments and sack all the civil servants in them who should be doing this sort of work but quite clearly are not.

    One or t’other.

  65. 65
    Moley says:

    Many Londoners had an additional “passing off” Party; UKEPP

    They got 28000 Votes.

    The electoral commission is obviously totally corrupt; would they allow a “Conservatory Party”?

  66. 66
    Dougal MacDougal of that ilk says:

    They are still counting in Tower Hamlets, but so far Labour have got 127% of the vote and the Islamic parties have got 231%. But they must go on counting as long as the photocopier has ink in it to print more ballots because there could be more votes on it. Anyway, I’m off for a full English halal breakfast.

  67. 67
    An irate doc says:

    No, it was for the Electoral Commission to ensure that all the returning officers were honest upright citizens and not fucking Labour common purpose drones.

    All those involved in this effort at voting manipulation should be charged with a criminal offence and banged up for 5 years (in a closed prison too!).

  68. 68
    Incapable Vince, deputy Chief Cockroach says:

    Bring me the head of Toxic Nick.

  69. 69
    Bringing B£iar to justice is one step nearer today says:

    Well Pantsdown and B£iar are saying it’s awful that UKIP has won but “we” mustn’t panic. So when people express an opinion different from theirs, it’s awful. Just confirms that they are out-of-touch fuckers who deserve to go to the wall – or to be put up in front of one, in the case of B£iar (after a trial, of course).

  70. 70
    F.I.Mech.E says:

    Where does the buck stop ?

  71. 71
    Never underestimate the stupidity of the Tory Right Wingers to shoot themselves in the foot says:

    Well I have to say that that was the fault of the Tory right wing back benchers who refused to agree to an elected House of Lords as part of the deal(allegedly)on boundary reforms and as a point of order had they agreed to AV the Tories would be sitting in a pretty strong position to-day electorally

  72. 72
    UKIP Hacking at the roots with the truth says:

    Didn’t the Sopranos and others like them have control of waste management?

  73. 73
    BBC 24hr rolling bollocks says:

    Ed couldn’t win a bun fight with a bacon bap

  74. 74
    An irate doc says:

    As I have already said ^^^. We need a thorough police investigation into these attempted criminal electoral frauds.

  75. 75
    An irate doc says:

    An irate doc says:
    May 26, 2014 at 3:57 pm

    No, it was for the Electoral Commission to ensure that all the returning officers were honest upright citizens and not fucking Labour common purpose drones.

    All those involved in this effort at voting manipulation should be charged with a criminal offence and banged up for 5 years (in a closed prison too!).

  76. 76
    sixupman says:

    On my voting slip [Northwest] there was a lookalike faux UKIP at the top and at fiorst glance one could easily have been misled.

  77. 77
    F##k the LibLabCon says:

    The Electoral Commission is a very unfunny joke, sack the bloody lot of ‘em!

  78. 78
    Frederick says:

    He said “anchor” but close enough

  79. 79
    Democracy Now says:

    I agree. Shut them down and start again. And while we are about it, replace everyone on the Boundary Commission and free it from the clutches of Speaker Bercow.

  80. 80
    Will this help? says:

    The Lib Dems shall hereby be renamed the UK Inthepenis Party

  81. 81
    nell says:

    The electoral commission and who’s in charge of that?

    I suppose it will be another labour/luvvie leftie like clarke of the beeb and smith of the environment agency, that dave conveniently forgot to replace when he came into office with someone more mainstream, sensible and robust.

  82. 82
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Aye. Felt tip with permanent bla’ck ink for me.

  83. 83
    Moley says:

    Natrass is an ex UKIP MEP who set up the Party out of spite with the collusion of the other political parties.

    The name, was of course, chosen to ensure that it came at the top of the ballot paper.

    There was another spoiler party in London called UKEPP, which got 28,000 votes.

  84. 84
    Mr Nobody says:

    Looks like the Tories beat Labour in England. Doesn’t look good for Ed.

  85. 85
    nell says:

    ++++Laugh++++ I can’t wait for the libdems to get rid of cleggie and replace him with the even more leftwing vincecable in the believe, as twelve of their mp’s have said, that moving the libdems further to the left under vince will win them more votes!!! Funny bunnies!!!

  86. 86
    Mornington Crescent says:

    See 56 above.

  87. 87
    UKIP Hacking at the roots with the truth says:

    He didn’t defeat his brother, Kluscki did, rubber faced ed couldn’t defeat a bacon sandwich.

  88. 88
    Long John Silver' s parrot says:

    This is all very interesting but when, may I ask, are we kicking the gypsies out?

  89. 89
    Apthorpe says:

    Little insight on how odious this lot are. Charter 88 merged a few years ago with on oufit called The New Politics Network to become Unlock Democracy. Now the NPN was successor to the Democratic Left and they where the legal successor the Communist Party of Great Britain. The issue here is that Unlock Democracy has in effect been happy to use for its LibDem agenda the money from Moscow (at least £3million most likely more as it’s in London property). Till we flush non-achievers like jenny Watson out from public life nothing will improve in this country.

  90. 90
    disgusted of tunbridge wells says:

    This wants investiation in depth. I was astounded to see this “Party” at the top of the list and UKIP at the bottom. What a fucking disgusting stitch-up. Somebody needs to have their nuts in a wringer over this blatant attempt at vote rigging.

  91. 91
    BBC 24hr rolling bollocks says:

    There was a fake party called the LibDums.
    The funny thing nobody voted for them either.

  92. 92
    @hateliebour says:

    Why what have they done?.

  93. 93
    suissebob says:

    WAs 27,000 in one area and 42,000 in another, it was 1.5% of the vote whatever that is and the reason the Greens got two seats.

    Otherwise they would have got fuck all, no surprise the Greens won seats via electoral fraud.

  94. 94
    Moley says:

    Does the Freedom of Information Act apply to the Electoral Commission?

    Can we have copies of all correspondence and e mails regarding the approval of party names on the voting paper?

    A bit of Sunlight perhaps?

  95. 95
    Have you ever smelt a Tory shitting himself says:

    If a monkey put on a UKIP rosette the people of Newark would vote for him.

    There is no hiding place now.

  96. 96
    Vote UKIP to ensure England remains in the EU says:

    hahahaha fuck off Frage you fuckin twat

  97. 97
    C O (Ξ7u1) says:

    Nigel does have a very valid point here.

    Electoral Commission would be a start: Several other ‘institutions’ also need similar treatment – for example: Environment Agency.

    The Electoral Commission has let itself down by not enforcing its own rules. Thankfully the effect has been minimal, but if it did cause even one seat to be lost that is one seat too many.

    Electoral fraud, which is really what is being spoken of here, is one of the more serious manifestations. The similarly named party, even though it may have been put together for good intentions, has misrepresented itself: Absent a national body to back it up, how could a small independent party like that hope to achieve what UKIP can ?

    There is of course the other darker side to this: That the party itself was in fact funded by UKIP’s peer competitors, or subversive elements within the c’ommission itself, whose intentions would constitute a serious tort against the electorate.

  98. 98
    Sod off! says:

    Goodbye n@zi

  99. 99
    Vote UKIP/Labour to ensure England stays in the EU says:

    Yes i really hope UKIP can do a great job for Labour in Newark

  100. 100
    Marina from paris says:

    If you had ever been in a pub full of gypsies you would not be asking such a stupid question.

  101. 101
    Only a guy who knows knows says:

    You know where they get all that big fat gypsy wedding cash comes from?
    The old and the vulnerable who are too weak or scared to tell them to fuck off when they knock on the door offering to do ‘Work’.
    Be proud you lefty cocksuckers who stick up for the shitehawkes.

  102. 102
    Anonymous says:

    I took a look at your list and found to my delight that North Norfolk was on it. Please UKIP come here. I will do everything I can to assist UKIP to out the present Limpdem incumbent. If ever a man said a lot about how wonderful he is,its our M.P. Full of self praise but does s—all.

  103. 103
    Democinghell says:

    120% turnout.

  104. 104
    Democinghell says:

    lol you beat me to it :)

  105. 105
    Emile Zola says:

    The average gypo in a pub likes to throw his cigarette butts on the floor and dowse them out with a bit of beer.

    The mess is horrendous.

  106. 106
    Anonymous says:

    at the nex GE we should start a party called A Conervative first party that would get top billing.

  107. 107
    Democracy Now says:

    Good point. Of course, this is the sort of thing the coalition should have been sorting out, but they have been too bloody lazy. They really do not care less about the public.

  108. 108
    Alex Salmond says:

    I shall solve this sort of problem in the independent socialist republic of Scotland by only allowing the SNP to be on the ballot paper.

    100% of the vote from 100% of those on the register! And why not?

  109. 109
    Long time poster says:

    Strategic Advisor: “Our projections show thst most UKIP voters will be elderly ex-Tory racists with Alzheimer’s or ‘Uneducated’ Essex BXXNp fodder ducking into the polls after a day doing manual labour. And the brilliant thing about this deflection is, we can call the voters who complain about it thickos who shouldn’t be allowed the vote, or hidden-racists or… something”
    This stinks, Guido. Painfully obvious “meta-troll” cooked-up by some twisted little eurohipster working for… somebody. Plleeease track down the smug, patronising bastard who OK’d this… or the Parrot gets it!

  110. 110
    Diana Abbott says:

    Where dis Newarkshire place?
    Word on the street dem all bum dem own sista.

  111. 111
    Ex barman says:

    The male gypsies have a habit usually after about eight pints of visiting the toilet and there having a slight problem with one of the machines installed on the wall.

    They then return to the bar area and ask for a refund.

  112. 112
    Establishment guy alert says:


  113. 113
    Mr Mboko says:

    yup, back to Africa:) I should have voted UKIP, could have got a free holiday :(

  114. 114
    Mr Slater says:

    Oh my! I think this person really means it, Guido!

  115. 115
    Democinghell says:

    Which we were more than likely paying for. It’s well know many foreign students come here for a day every month, collect their money and then go home again.

  116. 116
    concrete pump says:

    So don’t go into a pub full of gypsies.

    I live near Datchet and so avoid every pub in that village like the fucking plague.

  117. 117
    LOL says:

    Nick Griffin conceded early on that he had lost his position as an MEP. But when asked whether the people had rejected his party’s racist policies, he told the Guardian: “They’ve voted for UKIP’s racist policies instead.”

  118. 118
    A serious step in the wrong direction says:

    After last night Cameron knows he wont be able to cover for them any more and has to do something.

  119. 119
    Fact says:

    UKIP would have done even better if it were not for copycat anti-EU parties that were allowed to stand by the corrupt Electoral Commission.

  120. 120
    String Vest says:

    Good idea Moley!

  121. 121
    cured lefty says:

    That bitch jowell sold up and out when they pitched up next door.How do you sleep at night ya c* nt

  122. 122
    Asceptic says:

    Shurely not. Must be shome mistake.

  123. 123
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    It says a great deal about Cameron when did did nothing to remove Watson after the last GE, and the failings with postal votes.

    Watson and that quango are as much good as a chocolate fireguard.

  124. 124
    Long John Silver' s parrot says:

    Would you like a nice ginger nut with your coffee?

  125. 125
    Ed The Deafeated says:

    Bus pass Elvis beats the Lib Dumbs! Lol!

  126. 126
    Jack the Ripper says:

    The Electoral Commission will be shut down – and replaced with an Electrical Commission.

  127. 127
    Asceptic says:

    FOI does not apply to this unimportant area of democracy .

  128. 128
    C O (Ξ7u1) says:

    Am not meaning to sound like a total and complete mong, but there is something very fishy going on, and it is not smelling like kippers. :-)

  129. 129
    Ahmed of Tower Hamlets says:

    Help! I’m still being held captive in a postal vote factory.

  130. 130
    Anonymous says:

    Stuffed full of Labour placemen/Women. It’s a Labour quango.

  131. 131
    Dogger says:

    It’s the British way.

  132. 132
    Non taxable pikey says:

    About as much chance of that happening as there is of Chilcot being released.

  133. 133
    A nightmare on Elm Street says:

    I think Cameron is going to regret all those Police cuts in the name of Austerity in the very near future.

    He and his kind are now in the direct line of fire.

  134. 134
    Asceptic says:

    All approved by eton Dave.

  135. 135
    JJ says:

    A truly interesting result with UKIP topping the polls across the southern half of England, except in London and running Labour a close second in the north. That discontent with the EU and immigration is echoed across much of the EU says that things have gone too far.

    The reaction of the politicians shows that the lessons haven’t sunk in, particularly with Labour. They are simply ignoring the issues of the EU and immigration to repeat the mantra that it is just discontent with the economy. That isn’t the case in my experience the real issue is immigration and the constraints that EU impose on the government implementing any type of control.

    However, there is another side to this apart from bolting the stable door and once that is done, what to do about the mess in the stable? Labour and the LibDems deny the stable door even needs closing whilst the Tories propose fitting a wedge to stop the stable door opening too far. Westminster really is in denial about this issue and the sound-bites they are offering reek of desperation and lack any conviction or sincerity.

  136. 136
    Patrick O'Flynn says:

    ” There is no leadership issue” says Nigel Helmer

  137. 137
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    Try Lord david Bell of over influence at Leveson’s dick.

  138. 138
    Incapable Vince, deputy Chief Cockroach says:


  139. 139
    A nightmare on Elm Street says:

    I thought it was part of David Cameron’s Big Society to have an army of volunteer helpers to help people vote in polling stations.

    No need for any Commissions.

  140. 140
    Fixed it for you says:

    There is no leadership

  141. 141
    Establishment guy alert says:

    Suddenly the Guardian is listening to what G*iffin has to say.
    Oh mate bottom of the barrel stuff.
    Oh forgot.

  142. 142
    Cherie, of the grab-de-£-and-run clan says:

    Give his job to a second rate woman Tony and I say

  143. 143
    Gay Dave says:

    Bumsex is our priority.

    This electoral commision thingy is of little interest to me and my chums.

  144. 144
    Establishment guy alert says:


  145. 145
    A nightmare on Elm Street says:

    If they had just let people use the “n” word I feel certain there would be more centre right euro MPs today.

  146. 146
    f0x in the House says:

    Or the C0NSERVATIVE Party

  147. 147
    BBC 24hr rolling bollocks says:

    The only issues the libdems have are the one’s which require tissues.

  148. 148
    Hypocrisy Watch says:

    ‘Instead of addressing voters’ genuine concerns on mass immigration and the corrupt, power-hungry EU machine, the big three parties believed they could defeat Nigel Farage with smears and lazy accusations of ‘racism’.

    The Mail – while, we repeat, carrying no torch for Ukip – warned that such arrogant, cack-handed tactics would backfire, and so it proved.’

    This from the Daily Mail after six weeks of daily smears and racist attacks.

  149. 149
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Ballot paper for 2015
    Approved by the electoral commission.

    The Labour Party
    The Green Party
    The SwP

    The conservatories
    The conserveatiffs
    The conservatitts
    The conservatives

    The libel democrats
    The liberal democats
    The liberal democraps

    The Scottish national party
    The slottish national party
    The Scottish nashonal party
    The Skottish National Party


  150. 150
    The British People says:

    No need for the corrupt, useless fuckers we have at the moment.

  151. 151
    'A' line suits you sir says:

    Obvious I think.
    He’s a’dress’ing a crowd.

  152. 152
    Asceptic says:

    I agree.

    Trouble is, it’s all so appalling one has to descend to sarcasm.

  153. 153
    Asceptic says:

    However bear in mind we are working on a bill for gay animal marriage

  154. 154
    Essex all the way says:

    She seems to sit on a lot of chairs. Is that her favourite position? :)

  155. 155
    Bill Quango MP says:

    The Mail invented the reverse ferret.

    Will be good to see private eyes “from all national papers” skit.

    We may have given the impression that UKIP wee a bunch of swivel eyed fascist fruit loons..however we one agree that the fine upstanding Nigel Farage and his loyal to the nation party are the greatest……

  156. 156
    Elsie Hargreaves 5 Railway Terrace Dewsbury says:

    The Mail are saying the results of that election are “terrifying”.

    What with all those category A prisoners walking in and out of jail as they want I have not been out of my house for a week.

  157. 157
    Socialism is theft says:

    They have been telling fortunes and saying that Labour would not trash the economy yet again if they were elected in 2015.

  158. 158
    Fucking liar and the very ugly Te55a says:

    I’m not a c*nt. Actually I’m a useless c*nt.

  159. 159
    The end of the LibDems says:

    … also approved by:

    Electoral Confusion
    Eclectic Commission
    Elliptic Contusion
    Clitoral Emission

    Proportional Representation was invented in Britain – Single Transferable Vote, anyway.

  160. 160
    On, On says:

    The Daily Mail had proved themselves to be almost as opposed to democracy and the will of the British people as the BBC.

  161. 161
    albacore says:

    In any case, Dave talks – he doesn’t do
    He still pays for fiddles in the E U
    Out of borrowed money we haven’t got
    So, even if he huffs and puffs real hot
    About British voters taken for mugs
    He sure ain’t the one to pull any plugs

  162. 162
    Socialism is theft says:

    If you think Dave would take the UK out of the EU you are even dumber than you sound.

  163. 163
    Russell Crowe says:

    By the name, it would seem to be to be where Noah is building some sort of boat yet again.

  164. 164
    Bob Rusk says:

    I don’t agree it was ‘minimal’. If just one UKIP MEP was cheated out of a win then it is one MEP too much! We shouldn’t accept this because what’s to say that they won’t start cheating on a massive scale.

  165. 165
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    Fabian Breckels ‏@fbreckels 7h
    What is really worrying about #UKIP voters is most have no idea what #UKIP really stand for. Too thick and ignorant to care. Frightening.

  166. 166
    Asceptic says:

    It’s bizarre that the Mail supports Ukip’s policies in general, but prefaces any comment on Ukip with this stuff about ‘We repeat we hold no torch for Ukip’.

    WTF is going on ?

  167. 167
    Welsh Labour Supporting Arseholes says:


  168. 168
    The British media are cunts says:

    Clegg does not look well does he?

  169. 169
    Essex all the way says:

    One thing the EU Election has shown us – the media represents absolute nothing but their own interests and views. “Journalism” – what a joke. Hasten the day they all go broke by nstalling ad”bl0ck

  170. 170
    Anonymous says:

    You are so right 134. This is all about culture and the loss of a way of life. Northerners must unite with the Southerners – we have a common inheritance and we must try our best against all the odds to restore it. I puke when I think of Blair,Brown,Straw etc all conniving to undermine the workers of the country. They have done pretty well for themselves on the backs of us all. We must force the issue of immigration to the top of every agenda. A full stop to it is the only way we can recover our country.

  171. 171
    The British media are cunts says:

    The daily Mail supported H1t1er before the war. Say no more.

  172. 172
    Oh the irony! says:

    @ #56

    “and is a past Deputy Chairman of both the Banking Code Standards Board, and of the Committee on Radioactive Waste Management.”

  173. 173
    Socialism is theft says:

    Would you like some sour grapes?

  174. 174
    Socialism is theft says:

    Would you like some sour gra.pes ?

  175. 175
    davebarnby says:

    In the Mail today James Chapman, their political editor, writes as though butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth about how Nigel has won a stunning victory after weeks of smears about UKIP and Nigel.

    The media, particularly the Mail, are now having to eat humble pie, but their reputations (if they ever had any) are SHOT, SHOT, SHOT


  176. 176
    The British media are cunts says:

    STILL the British media and political elite don’t get it. I’m still listening to BBC and Sky wankers in total denial and politicians like that fucking mong Miliband just living on a different planet.

    We want OUT of the EU, we want politicians to get the fuck out of our lives. We want them all to fuck off. Why don’t they get it?

  177. 177
    Moley says:

    Communication requires a sender and a receiver.

    With whom might the Electoral Commission have been exchanging information and receiving advice or guidance?

    They can be FOI’d instead.

  178. 178
    Toenails deep analysis wasn't deep enough to spot that glaring anomoly the c*nt says:

    Rice N Pee party did surprisingly well in Dagenham.

  179. 179
  180. 180
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Cheers, Nigel – you deserve a few:

    Surprising that such a film is on the BBC.

  181. 181
    tabblenabble02 says:

    Because they all really work for “big capital”.

  182. 182
    táxpáyér says:

    Do the electoral commision have common purpose with the bbc?

  183. 183
    The Human Centipede that crawls around Westminster says:

    Hard to hear with all the snortin and fartin going on.

  184. 184
    Don't Forget says:

    The Greens
    The Greeks
    The Groins
    The Grains

  185. 185
    Moley says:

    Labour no longer stand for the working man.

    The Conservatives are busy destroying British society with immigration and the British landscape with windmills; they are conserving nothing.

    Labour doesn’t know what it stands for and nor do the Conservatives.

    UKIP on the other hand has a clear idea of what it stands for and so do their supporters.

  186. 186
    Spartacus says:

    er, folded over at the bottom with a knife like crease

  187. 187
    The Human Centipede that crawls around Westminster says:

    Rare footage of the Human centipede

  188. 188
    broderick crawford says:


    yeah …but that s todays faggots fot yuh …. enjoyin the essy life carting around lorry loads of rubbish .

    In my day we had a special concession for the supply of quick setting concrete used to build the American Dream …including the New Jersey Turnpike .

    That road is holdin ‘ up some bodies I can tell yuh …

  189. 189
    Anonymous says:

    Fuck The One-Eyed Scottish Fucker says:
    May 26, 2014 at 2:47 pm

    Anonymous – this endless, pointless, vicious, badly-written drivel does you no favours. Get yourself to a psychiatric facility at once. I really do fear for your psychological well-being. We won’t miss you!


    for a long time i tried to figure what lay at the edge of the universe and finally i have got it… it’s my skull. don’t fret dear sir humble horace i am going to end my own life in the early hours of wednesday, in a peaceful manner that harms no other. my reasoning is since all you horrific pig cnuts and every other fucker lay beyond the boundaries of my skull, if i end my own life this universe i am god of will implode and you will all get sucked into the resulting black hole.

    so see you on the other side, chum. and i hope the eye of ra slices you into tiny little pieces. to bomb your own country in an attempt to get back at some fuckers who caught you with your trousers down is high treason. the fact that you are being protected from facing justice, well it shows that there is no justice in the united kingdom.

    one of those long ago ships in the daylight passes of people trying to bring you to account once uttered in my direction that you were a monster… and they were right. from what i garner you fucked the 15 year black child then murdered them and their parents. but you wiped your splodge on the child’s underwear and that ended up in the hands of some people who thought they could make a few bob. course you set them all up right from the start.

    quite simply i say to the royal family that if you allow your senior plod to behave like this then no one will ever take you seriously. let me repeat that, a senior police officer engaging in child abuse and murder and also engaging in a terrorist act in his own country. your failure to act on this matter is a sign of complicity.

    but hey! i am just a mere schizoid and there is your plausible deniability!!! hell you will probably blame a bunch of shit on me once i am word food.

    fuck god save the queen. god save everyone.

    fuck long live our noble queen. long live our noble people.

    in the early hours of wednesday morning god will forsake you betty and your family of parasites and the multitude of leeches who suck all joy of life out of the masses to perpetuate their evil.


    nice dig that! have a pop at my writing style. and to talk about mental health. it is almost like you know just what to say to get a rise from me. gordon brown might be many things horace, but he ain’t a treacherous child abu5ing murdering cnut who bombed his own people due to a rabid hatred of catholics.

    tough for some huh?!

  190. 190
    David Cameron says:


    Gay bumsex marriage was a far more important issue to sort out before anything else!

  191. 191
    broderick crawford says:

    I thought Cammo was going to abolish all these part subsidized parastatal Qusngos .

    From ehich particularly appetising public teat does this one suckle?

  192. 192
    broderick crawford says:

    …or even AAAAAAAAAUKIP Party .

  193. 193
    The Human Centipede that crawls around Westminster says:

    See if you can spot your MP or any journalists you know in this line up.
    looks like the photo was taken when Lord Rennard tried to get back in Line

  194. 194
    Glyn H says:

    Absolutely right. I complained to the EC and got a reply almost by return saying they considered it in no way confusing! An utterly corrupt deduction by then and very obviously a Common Purpose outfit, doing down this country whilst existing on its ever and over generous teat. As so often Farage is quite right in his view of this deadbeat quango.

  195. 195
    Greasey Oily slithering 'Dave' says:

    I’ve told all my people to grease up their arseholes to show they practice what I preach

  196. 196
    Apthorpe says:

    Agreed. If democracy is not for all then it’s not democracy, given that we have (and always will have) an unequal society it is the duty of the state to ensure that the demcratic process which means above all elections should be clear, understandable and free of interference. There is no IQ test for voting and to suggest that one is needed really is a dreadful statement, our politicians don’t actually like democracy they hate the voice of the people and indeed fear it. We must be ever vigilant to protect it.

  197. 197
    broderick crawford says:

    Well it s better than voting for Tibor, its Tokyo eqivalent !!

    At least he s being patriotic to his capital city !!

  198. 198
    The only Country in Europe not to have its own paliament is England says:

    So did the Mirror until he invaded Russia

  199. 199
    The Beast of Bolsover says:

    There’s leadership, but there’s no party left!

  200. 200
    broderick crawford says:

    It smacks of James O’Brien .

  201. 201
    A lying cheating two-faced bully, economic illiterate, bully, paranoid sanctimonious shit says:

    People still dream of the Socialist Paradise I so nearly achieved. Put ME back in power and I’ll finish my jobby

  202. 202
    Apthorpe says:

    They hate and fear you and have spent the last 40 years taking as much power from you as possible. They know best, they know what is good for you. But they don’t they only know what is good for them. Pantsdown is total disgrace and shouls have been drummed out of politics years ago.

  203. 203
    Anonymous says:

    Lets have a few facts
    1) The EU parliament will ignore ALL decent and carry on pushing their super state undemocratic agenda.
    2) There will be NO meaningful renegotiations without Cameron invoking Article 50 which is required by members who intend to leave the EU
    3) Therefore any attempt to renegotiate without Article 50 being invoked will be brushed aside.
    4) Cameron has already said that he will not leave the EU and will not invoke Article 50 therefore he will be either totally ignored of offered miniscule concessions which he will try to con the British public with as did Harold Wilson
    5) However we must not underestimate the vulnerability of Tory and Labour MPs whose careers could and may well come to an abrupt end at the next election as have the careers of many long standing MEPs this week.
    6) Faced with the prospect of unemployment there is a distinct possibility that some will change allegiance to UKIP
    7) Failing that happening the Tory party will split asunder. The Liberals are already at this stage.
    Interesting times ahead

  204. 204
    The Grauniad / Biased Bullshit Corpse says:

    Naturally – why do you need ask?

  205. 205
    On, On says:

    The grannies

  206. 206
    tabblenabble02 says:

    Clegg’s red eyes truly betray the fact that he is completely deluded.

    He has totally deluded himself.

    I believe this mental state is explained by him having a personality disorder.

  207. 207
    Tower Hamlets EU Banana Republic says:

    I do not need to have dodgy Party names to get the result I need. My associates will make sure that ALL voters are encouraged in every way to make the right decision.

  208. 208
    Socialism is theft says:

    It is not just him who is deluded but all those saps who voted Tory, thinking Dave would give them a fair referendum on the EU.

  209. 209
    broderick crawford says:

    Ahm a big fellah doon from the East of Fife
    Ah ve thrown a lot of things at my longsuffering wife
    But when ahh giv any if the nursies strife
    They say “Gordo , time for poo box “

  210. 210

    This was Dirty tricks on a grand scale by the EX big three there were other parties with names like “Referendum Now” running with no other mandate than to spoil UKIP’s party

    Well they FAILED !

  211. 211
    Moley says:

    Ring the Samaritans.

  212. 212
    Socialism is theft says:

    If you think the EC is dodgy now, wait until they produce the Referendum on EU membership, assuming Dave wins the GE.

  213. 213
    Throbbing Dick says:

    Is she a goer?

  214. 214
    broderick crawford says:

    Ohh.. you mean like the Romanian awaydayers on Easyjet from Transylvania.

  215. 215
    Labour Voting Doug Shite In EDinburgh Shitty says:

    Who are the thickos that voted a Fib Dumb in?

  216. 216
    Socialism is theft says:

    The Referendum question will be along the lines of ‘Do you wish the UK to leave the EU and jeopardise 3 million jobs? Yes or no?’

  217. 217
    Campbell wrote it Blair spoke it says:

    Blair has every reason to fear the collapse of the ‘establishment’ as he would almost certainly be held to account for his blatant ‘beyond doubt’ lie to Parliament which took us to war.

  218. 218
    Tower Hamlets EU Banana Republic says:

    I have just been contacted by the EU as they now know they will have a problem with the UK and the 2015 GE. They want to hire my ‘associates’ to ensure that a EU favourable result is achied.

  219. 219
    Flip-flop old guy Cable says:

    There is no leadership issue ………………. because I have now been annointed leader instead of that crybaby nonentity, what’s-his_name?

  220. 220
    broderick crawford says:

    Bit like larch wood fence panels . Cannot get them for love nor money these days due to bad winter and only source (Scandinavia) cannot meet European demand . Thieves now lifting them from between stone posts in the night instead of lead from roofs.

    ( plenty of wood in Scotland but forbidden to cut due to ” heritage preservation issues ” )

  221. 221
    Dorkass says:

    Elfin safety I shouldn’t wonder.

  222. 222
    On, On says:

    Who wants to smack James O’Brien?

  223. 223
    LibLabCon mercheants says:

    We’re listening (like we always have done), and we’ll do something about the obvious concerns (like we’ve always done), so expect fuck-all to be accomplished.

  224. 224
    broderick crawford says:

    I do not know much about twitter .

    Can a user follow himself and eternally chase his own tail ??

  225. 225
    I can't get through says:

    Hell, all the Samaritans are on the other line with Cleggy.

  226. 226
    oioi says:


  227. 227
    Round_or_Flat says:

    Braw tae see yer students!
    Aam Rab See Nesbeet an’ aam gonnae be yer lecturer ay th’ Eenglish langugage fur th’ next year.
    Th’ first lesson is oan Glaswegian attire. noo whit ye see oan me is a genuine strin’ simmet!

  228. 228
    broderick crawford says:


    By engaging in debate with Nigel Farage I accidentally shot myself in the foot. It doesn t half hurt and ….. I am really really so very very
    sorry .

  229. 229
    Anonymous says:

    The party of “in” is now “out” of office.

  230. 230
    Dorkass says:

    What they don’t know – absolutely clueless about – is what is a leader. That’s really the reason for Common Purpose – social networking on the evolutionary model of a fungus or biofilm; a low-intelligence collective which ‘works’ despite being leaderless, and even if you pick off one or several.

    Yet there are leaders (not theirs of course) hiding in plain view – on the front pages of the MSM even.

  231. 231
    Voice of Reason says:

    Zenab Badawi on BBC calling both UKIP’s success and that of other right wing parties in Europe as a “protest vote” !

  232. 232
    broderick crawford says:


    You vaant I should conduct some experiments on these people ?
    Ve haff veys of reconfiguring their brains so they never again fold voting slips to their advantage ….

  233. 233

    Do not believe that We need the EU’s shite more than they need ours ,
    Our imports far out weigh our exports , also do not believe “Ten million jobs rely on you voting to stay in the EU ” Without the EU restrictions this country would rocket “once again ” on the world stage
    Lets start a new era and fuck off the “Big Three ” parties that for years have given away £55 million quid a day to support the unelected fat cats in Brussels and their spawn
    Your services have been massacred to keep up the payments on this farce
    Lets take back control deport all undesirablesand reinstate our once world renound infrastructure

  234. 234
    pookie snackumberger says:


    Buddy Axelgrease has come up with a high profile gig for his ward Ed Ruberband.

    He’s using a tried and tested American tactic originated by Louis Farrakhan who called it the Million Man March.

    Axelload’s idea is to call for a ‘Million Mong March’. Inviting all weirdo’s to gather at the bottom of Primrose Hill and march to the top waving their rubric cubes and other geeky stuff in support of Ed Millimong.

    Ed’s all for it saying “It will show the people I get it, what ever it is they are saying”.

  235. 235

    I suppose traditionally under far right administrations electoral commissions are unnecessary.

  236. 236
    Gooey Blob says:

    Labour have made their bed and Ed is repeatedly wetting it. They came third in my region, the East Midlands.

  237. 237
    broderick crawford says:


    Does Sir ” dress ” on the right or the left ?

    Sir says : It all depends on what I ve been doing the night before , who with and for how long —and how red my Ministerial “box ” happens to be.

  238. 238
    Asceptic says:

    Do you believe
    1) the UK should stay in the glorious and prosperous EU
    or 2) UK become a shit hole and all die of plague, painfully

  239. 239

    It all depends upon what you mean by necessary.

    Necessary to ensure election of the Labour party?

  240. 240
    On, On says:

    I agree. 26,675 votes went to this fake party in London, ie 1.21% of the vote.

  241. 241
    Round_or_Flat says:

    According to Sky News item 18:06:
    Nick Clegg’s policies and standpoints are “”being vindicated””…….
    “”It’s just that the voters have a funny way of expressing their appreciation of them.””
    You scarcely could make it up.

  242. 242
    broderick crawford says:

    Who s behind AAAAAn Independence from Europe Party backing them with hard cash ?

    A combination of Conservative Central Office and the TUC ??

  243. 243
    On, On says:

    Actually Nick, not very many people think it matters whether you are sorry or not. Not as many as think that now you have been exposed as unacceptable to the British people you are holding government office by the false pretences of an electoral mandate which has long ago expired.

  244. 244
    Persona non grata says:

    Authentic UKIP.

  245. 245
    Gooey Blob says:

    Will be interesting to see if Farage targets places like Sunderland and Rochdale. Labour are unlikely to have the resources to target both marginals and seats in their own back yard.

  246. 246
    Lax Splifford says:

    FAO Nick I can help you with PR! Visiting hours are 10am-11am Tuesday.

  247. 247
    Moley says:

    An Independence in Europe got 235,000 votes.

    UKEPP (4 Freedoms Party, got 28,000.

  248. 248
    pookie snackumberger says:

    I bet he thought that was water tight.

  249. 249
    cured lefty says:

    No just the ones packed to the rafters with common purpose .

  250. 250
    Biased BBC says:

    The only crumb of comfort is that Madiba hasn’t had to see Britain’s night of shame

  251. 251
    David Axlegrease says:

  252. 252
    The BBC says:

    Please remember that UKIP’s claim of millions of EU immigrants is scaremongering.

    But the loss of millions of jobs if we leave the EU is not scaremongering.

  253. 253
    Jethro says:

    Old Cornish Proverb: ‘beneath every wet mattress, you’ll find rusty springs’.

  254. 254
    non taxable pikey says:

    This from a chap called Peter Gold who was at the Minaret Hamlets “count”.
    I was, for obvious reasons, at both omni-shambles. We were asked to attend the Mile End Leisure centre at 2pm, Sunday for the council counts with the European count commencing at 4pm. We were let in at 3pm and then the chaos started.

    Any checks on people attending soon collapsed, particularly when the Supreme Ruler, Mayor Lutfur, was instructing his fan club from across London to walk in and enjoy the panto.

    However, ex Councillor Kabir Ahmed (Tower Hamlets First, Weavers ward) was barred from entering the count as he had revealed details of the first figures on his facebook page. Presumably he stayed at home in Gants Hill, Redbridge.

    There were arguments, threats, and chaos at the counting tables. Tower Hamlets First supporters were challenging vote after vote, forcing supporters of other candidates away from the tables. They often made their points ( excuse the pun) with pencils and pens, against ballot papers.The supreme ruler smiled, whilst checking town hall staff were not stopping his supporters from doing exactly what they wanted.

    Former Cllr Mohammed Shahid Ali (defeated Mile End) was bawling in Bangla down a mobile phone at a counting table. He was asked by a (female) officer to stop and he shouted that she ( emphasise she) had no right to tell him to stop doing anything and that she (emphasise she) should go away. I drew this to the attention of the returning officer and Shahid Ali then needed to be restrained from attacking me.

    Tower Hamlets has interesting rules on the media at counts. Mainstream journalists can only be on the counting floor if they are escorted by a member of the town hall staff at all times.

    The special media, that supports the supreme ruler, is excluded from this, so, for example everywhere I went I was stalked by a weird old trot who kept taking flash photographs of me in my face and then grinning. He declined to say what organ he reported for.

    He was not afraid of expressing his views as he shouted the short version of “see you next Tuesday”, during one of the declarations.

    Despite everything we had been told, the count was a shocker. There was a a 21% discrepancy in the votes in Island Gardens between the first two counts.

    Issues regarding our count process that I raised as far back as 2009 were ignored and there was no change at all; despite the fine words of the electoral commission.

    I will be writing to them on Tuesday, with more details and will make my letter public.

  255. 255
    Spelling says:


  256. 256
    @hateliebour says:

    I think both Sky and the BBC have gone into oh! fck, where do we go from here our bosses will be really peed off with us, tick tock tick tock time is coming May 2015 not too far away, tick tock tick tock, nobody will believe anything these two broadcasters ever say again, theyv’e been found out .

  257. 257
    robocock says:

    I think the key point was that they had “UK Independence Now” printed under their name. For some people, in a rush, feeling under pressure – I know my grandmother feels like she is under pressure voting, knowing it’s important and worried about making a mistake, to allow them to put those words, especially “UK Independence” knowing full well that somewhere between 20 and 30% of voters were intending to vote “UK Independence Party” is something that just should not happen in a mature democracy, it sounds more like a rigged vote in a banana republic.

    I am sure someone tried once to run under the name M. Thatcher as a Conservationist and was not allowed. As Farage said would someone be allowed to set up “A Labour Party” to get to the top of the poll?

    Farage is right. This all smacks of dirty tricks, sort of thing you can imagine Dan Hodges type going in for after their smears failed so spectacularly.

  258. 258
    non taxable pikey says:

    If you tell a lie often enough some idiot will believe it.

  259. 259
    Anonymous says:

    Cue the music…

  260. 260
    The NHS says:

    The first available appointment with his GP will be in a fortnight

  261. 261
    Gordon Brown says:

    I soiled my ballot

  262. 262
    The British media are cunts says:

    Merkel can go fuck herself. N@z1 bitch.

  263. 263
    Fishy says:

    Aaaahh. C5 get into the spirit of things. The ‘Dam Busters’ is just starting. I wonder what the doggie will be called on this version?

  264. 264
    robocock says:

    Good point – the numbers, absurdly high for a pretend party – show that the votes was cast by mistake, people wanting to vote Ukip.

    This is the sort of thing that needs correcting Asap. It’s a scandal it wasn’t sorted before the election and the man responsible must be sacked but also it’s important for justice to be done now, at least to make sure it doesn’t happen again. I wouldn’t think it outrageous if they repeated the poll just because of this – it really does amount to frad of 10s of thousands of Ukip votes that saved the bacon of the handful of Communist Greens and Lib Dems.

  265. 265
    Diane Fatbott says:


  266. 266
    Jimmy would have shot people escaping east germany says:

    Jimmy ain’t as clever as he thinks.

  267. 267
    The British media are cunts says:

    And this is not just confined to the Mecca of England. Other shithole Muslim areas are just as corrupt.

  268. 268
    Hattie says:

    Mmm P.I.E. – my favourite

  269. 269
    Anonymous says:

    And let us not forget that John Bercow has his own ‘The Speakers Committee on the Electoral Commission’. What an opportunity for him and his hand-picked committee members to wave through dubious parties with the potential to do damage to the hated UKIP.

  270. 270
    The British media are cunts says:

    I can’t see that. Even the mong must get more than McBust and if Liebore can get 31-33% they will end up as the biggest party.

    If the Tories get fewer seats there is no way they could remain in power even with a coalition.

    The problem is Liebore would have to form a coalition with the Celt vermin meaning that the Celts would be passing laws that for the most part only effect England.

    So for example, we could see Liebore increase fuel duty in England or charges for using an NHS doctor whilst similar charges are not applied in the Celt areas of Britain.

  271. 271
    A flower that blooms tra la la says:

    Frank Field would do better helping his Birkenhead constituancy, it’s a sh1t hole, screwed by Liebour on the Wirral council, the only respect I have for Frank Field is him saying sorry in the HOC to that loon Brown, I see his reason why he did it, to save jobs.

  272. 272
    The British media are cunts says:

    Female beeboid also stated that Clegg’s vision of a warm and friendly country had been rejected. Basically BBC view is UKIP is full of nasty white people.

  273. 273
    Patrick O'Flynn says:


  274. 274
    The British media are cunts says:

    Plenty of mongs at the BBC to march with him.

  275. 275
    The British media are cunts says:

    Spot on. The BBC keep allowing the lie that if we leave the EU millions of jobs would go. The only jobs that would go are the fucking mongs who feed off the EU.

    Fact is the EU need us more than we need them. The boss of BMW or VW would shit bricks if they were not allowed to flog their crap cars here in the UK.

  276. 276
    The British media are cunts says:

    That is because the media don’t get it and they can’t compute that millions of people just can’t stand the EU vermin.

  277. 277
    Prime Minister"Money's no object" Cameron says:

    Lord Tebbit says Conservative party is “in a mess” and party members should be “pretty worried” after the election results

  278. 278
    WMD says:

    Making things up is what politicians and their lackey media do.

  279. 279
    Rickytshirt says:

    Bush P!ss Elvish

  280. 280
    Mandela Free Zone says:

    You called?

  281. 281
    Fishy says:

    Labour Party members? Lib Dem Members?

  282. 282
    Trading Down says:

    Whitelaw, Howe, Heseltine, Prescott, Mandelson, Clegg.

    Talk about a downgrade.

  283. 283
    srilyagi_air_corps says:

    Milliband != a geek. /. much? Solder anything? Think not. Doesn’t even qualify as a nerd or speccy Poindexter. Prime example of Djilas New Class, now you talking!

  284. 284
    David Cameron Is A Cunt says:

    Boo hoo, another party cost UKIP a seat. What the fuck do they think they did to the Tories?? In my Borough UKIP cost us Conservatives two seats that went to Labour only because UKIP split the vote, so they are hypocritical fuckers

  285. 285
    Beppe Grillo says:

    Now is the time to say Goodbye
    I’m leaving now,
    I wish you all goodbye
    Fartatata, fartatata..
    – Nick Clegg

  286. 286
    Iqbal says:

    I’ve just received an order for 20 million postal votes for next May. Death to the West.

  287. 287
    Jethro-call-me-a-cynic['You're a cynic] Thank you. says:

    … but it’s best not to mention the millions of ££ we, at the BBC, will lose.

  288. 288
    Everyone in Chingford says:

    He’s right. Even in Chingford, the Tories were under-performing on Thursday. UKIP beat them into third place in Waltham Forest. Not surprising, though, given the way Boris pssied everyone off over the Walkthamstow dog track. Those pesky lies to the public, eh? Don’t they just have a horrid way of coming right back and biting political parties in the arse?

  289. 289
    Close Down the BBC Now says:

    The BBC’s view, transmitted on this evening news, is that anybody who votes for UKIP is ‘uneducated.’ Remember that. The BBC is now telling the nation that anybody who votes for UKIP – i.e. anyone who opposes mass immigration – is ‘uneducated.’

  290. 290
    Halfprice weddings says:

    Entirely too susceptible. I took a pen filled with Registrar’s ink.

  291. 291
    Realist says:

    Actually it the BBC who are full of nasty white people; the whole fucking lot of them.

  292. 292
    A flower that blooms tra la la says:

    The correct unedited ersion.

  293. 293
    The bbc says:

    Oh fuck we forgot about him….

  294. 294
    jgm2 says:

    I would just like to apologise to everybody.

    I live in the South of England and it appears we are the only constituency in the entire UK to elect a LibDem MEP.

    Apologies for that.

  295. 295
    Westminster needs a clean out says:

    They beat the Tories fair and square. They didn’t do it by putting up a candidate pretending to be from A Conservatory Party.

  296. 296
    Anonymous says:

    A vote for UKIP is a vote for UKIP .No.282

  297. 297
    Fuck me, glacial pace says:

    They are still counting the votes in Northern Ireland!

  298. 298
    Gibraltar says:

    Just don’t let it happen again….

  299. 299
    JH2382198E409283 says:

    Thanks a bunch. Now get back to your yoghurt knitting.

  300. 300
    Cameron Is A CUNT says:

    “David Cameron: Nigel Farage is a politician; not a ‘normal bloke'”

    as if cameron would know – hahahahaha

    fuck the tory cnunts and fuck the ukip weirdos, racists, oppressors and idiots

  301. 301
    A flower that blooms tra la la says:

    Even Camoron can’t let the postal voting corruption carry on , it’s hoovering his own votes up, he needs all the votes he can get and as he’s not liked his votes will be a lot lower, every vote counts.

  302. 302

    Did they fold the ballot paper so that only the Lib Dem candidate was showing?

  303. 303
    She's Australian and unelectable says:

    Not a nice way to talk about Natalie Bennett.

  304. 304
    Tom Catesby. says:

    Here’s something to keep the electoral commission busy, Tower Hamlets, something smells about the count and the postal voting.

  305. 305
    Cmon_Nige says:

    Confirmed on Channel 5 Dambusters Movie.
    Black dog has the same name in this version as before.
    When the flying officer invited the dog out from the back of his car he was definitely heard to say:
    “Come on N—– (Nigel).”
    Must have known already about Great Britain Independence Party.

  306. 306
    Tom Catesby. says:

    postal votes coming in at Heathrow, hidden under burkhas no doubt.

  307. 307

    Vote UKIP :-D

  308. 308
    La la la, not listening to you says:

    Weirdos?, racists?, oppressors? wtf are you smoking, idiots, how nice, wtf has UKIP oppressed, racist, just your dirty mind, weirdos nice to have commentary by fellow weirdos .

  309. 309
    Tom Catesby. says:

    Hopfully she’ll be gone before long.

  310. 310
    Anon says:

    Only about half of the people at the BBC I have had dealings with over the past thirty years have been white British. When I compare that with the proportion of immigrants and people of non-white immigrant dsecent in the population as a whole, that is very weird. As an employer they seem to actively discriminate against British people.

  311. 311
    BBC red bottom says:

    After a full examination of all the results the BBC political team can present their findings.

    Labour did really jolly well..quite super considering how they aren’t racists. 25.5%

    Tories did very badly. Almost no-one voted for them at all! Just 24%

    LibDems did abysmally..deservedly so. The penalty for traitors.6%

    The Greens did amazingly well..7% why that’s almost 1st. .really they should just be automatically made into a green-lab coalition in 2015.

    And some other party did ok for a first go..

    More analysis at 10pm.

  312. 312
    Times are a changing says:

    That would be worth having a good laugh at, will it be televised.

  313. 313
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Shall we arrange the Farage mask now?

  314. 314

    To be fair to Jimmy, I don’t think for a moment that he would have shot GDR escapees. But people just like him would have supported a regime like that without even properly realising what the logical consequences were. That is the deeper truth contained in your moniker.

    It is my belief that this is how the Berlin Wall fell. It became unsustainable, not in the minds of those who held the semi-automatic weapons, but in the population at large, even the informers.

    I post this having taken the three hours to travel through Checkpoint Charlie (east to west) some years before the wall fell. Some films glamorise the suspense. In reality it was tawdry (in the moral sense of that word) and sickening.

  315. 315
    Tom Catesby. says:

    We should all campaign to keep Nick Clegg as limpdick leader, he has shown us all clearly how good he is at steering a train wreck. Don’t want the limpdicks to cast around before May 2015 and find somebody that might know what they’re doing, although that’s as likely as the electoral commission acting on Farage’s complaints and also investigating Tower Hamlets election procedures.

  316. 316
    Norn Iron Resident says:

    That is because we do not have proper elections; just periodic tribal headcounts. A bit like Tower Hamlets I suppose!

  317. 317
    A modern Democracy? says:

    Perhaps UKIP might consider targetting a few marginals in disparate areas of the country, thus stretching the resources of “les autres” beyond their means.

  318. 318
  319. 319
    Sinn Fein says:

    Vote early, vote often; until the bus leaves for your next constituency.

  320. 320
    Lutfur Rahman says:

    I am happy to show the electoral commission how it’s done.

  321. 321
    Schadenfreude says:

    I love Germans and I love German idioms….I hate the eu

  322. 322
    Jethro says:


    [overheard in a TV centre]… I am so drained, just drained! We were tasked with brain-storming alternative names for that … that White English, bomber-man’s dog: hideously white…No, of course not the dog: that’s the trouble and this white Englishman – I forget his name, not that it’s of any importance, of course – had a dog, a lovely Labrador, no, not a Golden one, nor a Chocolate one. Of course the film (it’s so ancient!) is in B & W – not actually silent, you know! In fact it has this rather worryingly pompous background music: a bit God-save-the-Queeny, or Elgarish. Anyway, what we were to re-name the dog? His initials were ‘GG’… No, of course, not the dog’s, the man who loved him’s. So I ventured ‘Ginger’ – well, with such old films, who can tell? Justin shot me down in flames: how could we use a word that’s become a popular form of playground abuse? Well, I said, what about George? And then Tilda had a go at me: the trouble with the film was that it was chauvinistic anyway: why add even if subliminally, by giving the poor dog the name of England’s so-called Patron? I felt so crushed by all this attack, that I started to cry, and blurted out, ‘Well, he’s very dark, and he’s a he, and he’s a dog, and GG loves him, so why not settle for ‘Pussy’! Jak – you know, used to be Jacqueline, then was Jackie – was nearly at my throat!
    So, I’ve got myself signed off for a few days, well, weeks, actually.
    Where am I going? Not to The Black Country, or even the Black Forest: still less, Nigeria. No, I’m going to America, the South, you know, where that lovely Barak comes from!

  323. 323
    D. Cameron says:

    I may have been a little hasty in the recent past, when I stated that, Mr Nigel Farage and all who support him where, swivel eyed loons, loopy and closet racists. I now realise that Mr Farage is in fact, a consummate politician and I described him as such on BBC Radio4, this morning, The results on Sunday and the earlier local council results plus the good kicking I and my party received, has cleared up any earlier misconceptions I had of Mr Farage and his party.

  324. 324
    Times are a changing says:

    Uh!, oh yeh they is good at winin innit.

  325. 325
    Socialism is theft says:

    Well we all know what Labour stands for – reducing immigration by deliberately setting out to increase it, reforming the EU by doing nothing about it and handling the economy by wrecking it.

  326. 326
    bacongate says:

    They’re ‘avin a larf, innit?

  327. 327
    The Dodo of Libdemeralism says:

    If the EU poll was a GE:
    Party 2010 Votes 2010 Seats Pred Votes Gains Losses Pred Seats
    CON 36.97% 307 23.00% 4 101 210
    LAB 29.66% 258 25.00% 43 11 290
    LIB 23.56% 57 7.00% 0 34 23
    UKIP 3.17% 0 28.00% 98 0 98
    NAT 2.26% 9 2.26% 0 0 9
    MIN 0.89% 19 0.89% 1 0 20
    OTH 3.48% 0 13.85% 0 0 0

  328. 328
    Socialism is theft says:

    He must be a flasher.

  329. 329
    The Dodo of Libdemeralism says:

    What is really worrying about #UKIP haters is most have no idea what #UKIP really stand for. Too thick and ignorant to care. Frightening.

  330. 330
    Socialism is theft says:

    He must be a flasher

  331. 331
  332. 332
  333. 333
    cured lefty says:

    Just switched off ch 4 news same obscene lefty bias as years ago. l really can’t find the appropriate swear words to describe the news team but I’ll try

    a more vomit inducing horde of rancid, self regarding , lying fucking c*nts, that ever crawled into a tv studio, a veritable spill of common purpose shite …………….

  334. 334

    The next step that Europeans need to understand:

    Vote UKIP :-D

  335. 335
    cured lefty says:

    Sorry cathy, I stopped to avoid modding.

  336. 336
    TOXIC NICK says:

    Will my seat in Sheffield be safe ? Please say yes, that’s all I care about. Self-preservation and a good number of lying cockroaches around me.

  337. 337
    #UKIP Hater says:

    You can hold any opinion you want; so long as it approved by our EUSSR masters

  338. 338
    BBC red bottom says:

    If you think those common purposers are bad, try our news.

    You won’t believe your ears.

  339. 339
    Does my Clegg look big in this? says:

    fuck the libdem weirdos and fuck the labour cnunts, racists, oppressors and idiots

  340. 340
    Jethro says:

    314 Tho’t f’r a minit, you were goin’ to say, ‘We Oirish are just a bit slow’.

  341. 341
    tabblenabble02 says:

    The next election is in Newark!

  342. 342
    Owen Jokes says:

  343. 343
    I , DC, a Desi boy have been sodomised says:

    i was in a compromising position.
    ipad was slipped under me.
    a did as provided the cover.
    my head was in a puma. rise. d angry bag.

  344. 344
    'Call me Dave: none of my friends dare (Jethro,O.E. - well, what else do you call an old St. Erbyn's says:

    You have my Stainless Steel guarantee, Nick!

  345. 345
    NOt what you were thinking of? says:

  346. 346
    Oops, must go Obarmy needs his rose petals thrown before him as he is carried . says:

    The Yanks are more screwed than we are, Obarmy doesn’t recognise the Constitution and political correctness has taken hold and the word racism is racist, the VA are in trouble and the yellow brick road looks as if it will carry on winding for a long time, god help them for they followed the twisted mile of Socialism and are lost.

  347. 347
    u cunt says:

    show me.
    if david cameron is a Hunt then he must show it to us.

  348. 348
    T May says:

    Yankee go home

  349. 349
    i hongkong, u sausage dog. says:

    u cutie pie. thanks for
    icking me. ur lick was so warm.

  350. 350
    i am BOSS says:

    my sock came from.

  351. 351

    The next step that Europeans need to understand: (For Dummies)

    Elected officials will never be the source of European Sovereignty. We the people over seeing them with constitutional legal authority will.

    Vote UKIP :-)

  352. 352
    Anonymous says:

    #UKIPpressure :-)

  353. 353
    yayyyyy says:

    my silver wheel barrow just got a head rush.

  354. 354
    Austin Tash says:

    I’m pretty sure the Daily Mail rigged the voting on their comments.

  355. 355
    Anonymous says:

    You can email them here to complain:

    I did earlier, got a response saying it wasn’t confusing, but have now followed up:

    Dear Ms Sarb,

    The Registration of Political Parties Act 1998, statutory ancestor of the Political Parties, Elections and Referendums Act 2000, was introduced specifically to deal with the problem posed by the “Literal Democrats” case. See e.g. Lords Hansard 21 Nov 2000 Column 665, where Lord Bach says “One of the purposes of the 1998 Act is to protect a party’s exclusive use of its name… in order to prevent voters being either confused or misled.”

    As you will note from the election result, “An Independence from Europe – UK Independence Now” (‘AIFE’) took 1.5% of the vote (at the time of writing) – more than the established party, Plaid Cymru; and vastly more than comparator party No2EU.

    Given the disparity between AIFE’s success and that of other small Eurosceptic parties such as No2EU, it would be deeply disingenuous of the Electoral Commission to suggest that confusion was not a factor in AIFE’s vote share. We know from the postal ballot that UKIP was contacted by supporters who had mistakenly voted for AIFE.

    It is deeply disconcerting that a body set up to promote democracy has had a hand in subverting it, by failing to fulfil its role of preventing confusion on ballot papers.

    The Commission’s opinion that a party at the top of many ballot papers with “UK Independence Now” in its description was not likely to confuse voters appears to have been both unreasonable and – although I cannot read your minds – possibly an abuse of discretion (see e.g. Wheeler v Leicester City Council).

    I am not satisfied with the way that the Commission dealt with this complaint.

    I would be grateful if you could let me know the next steps to take this complaint further.

    Yours sincerely,

  356. 356
    my arse says:

    on the day hitler’s father was born is the day that Homebase is closing down.

  357. 357
    RichUpNorth says:

    Prior to looking at my ballot paper in the booth I’d never heard of An Independence From Europe party. Where the fuck did they spring from? Who’s behind them? I see their name ensured that they were at the top of the list while UKIP was at the bottom. I woder how many people saw their name and assumed they were UKIP, casting their vote for the wrong party. Disgraceful. It should be investigated.

    Way to go Nige!!!!!

  358. 358

    The BBC did splendidly well, reporting the developments without fear nor favour, and in the very best spirits of the Reithian Ideal.

    YouGov pollling shows that 99.4% of the UK population believes that the BBC is fair and balanced and that the other 0.6% should be sectioned.

    Do not forget to pay your Telly Tax. The detector vans are in your area now. Yes, you, Bert Spigsby at 7, Smeaton Rise, LONDON NW2 5BA with no record of holding a current licence. Prepare for the knock at the door…

  359. 359
    Billi's fruit says:

    i have my micro skin on.
    muli.coloured. o, u r so.

  360. 360
    For the love of Pete says:

    How about winding itself up altogether?

  361. 361
    The Bloody Tower says:

    I am happy to show the anti-democratic mongs at the Electoral Commisison what happens to traitors.

  362. 362
    Anonymous says:

    wE LEARNT THAT IN SOME AREAS IN THE LOCAL ELECTIONS, A VOTE FOR UKIP LET IN THE LIEBOUR PARTY. However, if Cameron thinks that this will put us off voting UKIP at the next election, his pro-eu stance will still convince me to vote ukip.
    vpte ukip get ukip.

    cameron bears the responsibilty for all those tory councils that went labour and for the loss of all those hard working tory councillors. his pro-eu stance and his liberal policies mean i will never vote tory while he is there.,

  363. 363
    táxpáyér says:

    No, the real conservatives cost the Dave party some seats.

  364. 364
    The British media are cunts says:

    Dan Hodges just been on Sky. Jesus he looks like McBust mark 2.

  365. 365
    B ye Bye AA says:

    terminal 2 was a terminal too. in terminal decline. refurbishments complete on the same day as the birth of Hitler’s father’s birthday.
    2, two, too,
    II (sir) is being defined.

    even Chattanooga Airport is after Major Terminal Renovation.
    CAA so stale.
    fresh energy everywhere. buy ur undies from marks. micro skin is ultra cool.

  366. 366
    Fruitcake, swivel eyed loony and closet racist says:

    Providing the issues around folding of ballot papers and faux lookalikey parties are dealt with prior to the GE then there may be a silver lining.

    If nothing is done then at least the issues can now screamed from the rooftops well before 7th may. It would appear that those responsible have played their hand too early/on the wrong election.

    Vote UKIP, get UKIP.
    Vote Tory, get Labour.


  367. 367
    Ratfur luhman's colour photocopier says:

    It’s no shit this re election malarkey. We can show Nick the way if he cares to lend us his party.

  368. 368
    Cinna says:

    Another grade A leftie who has never held down a proper job in her life then.

  369. 369
    The British media are cunts says:

    Media and political elite still not getting it. We’ve been lied to for decades about Europe, all of the main parties and the media have fed us the same lie.

    There’s no way I’m voting for any of the main parties next year. I might well vote UKIP, but I want Farage to promise to ban the jocks from voting on English matters and I want him to promise to get rid of the BBC.

  370. 370

    Nick Clegg: now is not the time for me to resign – Graun

    What a moral example this man sets!

    Let no cynical person think he is in this for the money. Or the EU job which follows. Nor the expenses. Nor that chauffeur car to take him anywhere he pleases. Not the first class travel to anywhere in the world he deems it appropriate to attend. Nor the houses claimed as residences. The Bulgarian maid which he has not even rogered – yet. The TV appearances, the films, the books, the free entrances to Stringfellows (Upper St Martin’s Lane, London WC2H 9EF – Open today – 9:00 pm – 4:30 am) and the Edinburgh Festival.

    If he can hold on until next year, he should be able to get a Clegg Up, if not a Clegg Over.

  371. 371
    Jezza says:

    Good call. Hope you’re right

  372. 372
    Asceptic says:

    + me too.

  373. 373
    Cinna says:

    James O’Brien wants smacking.

  374. 374
    Ratfur luhman's colour photocopier says:

    Provision of pencils, folding of ballot paper to omit UKIP, frenzied mooz outside stations…….these are all despicable offences if not practised everywhere.

    The boundary and electoral commissions have been owned for a long time. Oh do keep up.

  375. 375
    Jezza says:

    Eeny meeny miny mo

  376. 376

    H@rry (Mr Steerpike) thrown out of UKIP’s victory party.

    Fucking right too! C*unt!

  377. 377
    Asceptic says:

    How about making itself accountable, allowing the parliament to put forward legislation and correcting its corrupt accounts.

    All extremely unlikely while Mutti Merkel controls the whole stinking mess which underwrites the Ruhr.

  378. 378
    Jethro says:

    251 Rusty Springs … usen’t she to be a singer? Talkin’ to meself again…

  379. 379
    Ratfur luhman's colour photocopier says:

    There needs to be a wide channel between us and skirt land, filled with water, a useful project which would connect the country by water and lead to prosperity.

    Unfortunately for you we in Tower Minarets don’t give a shit and although we may smile we do really really hate you.

  380. 380
    Pastimes says:

    Shouldn’t talk about Dewsbury like that. A whole 3 cautions dished out for electoral irregularities a while ago.

  381. 381
    Anonymous says:
  382. 382
    Cinna says:

    Oh, that reminds me..what about Chillcot?

  383. 383
    Ratfur luhman's colour photocopier says:

    Friends, moozlims, countrymen lend me your ear or I cut off your tongue.

  384. 384
    Pellegrino says:

    pout me into the brit elder cordial bottle. no dilution required. hence undiplomatically dump on kensington.

  385. 385
    Cinna says:

    And where is the money backing them. Follow the money and you’ll nail the culprits.

  386. 386
    Cinna says:

    You’ll have as much luck with that as sorting out the postal vote scandal and the omnishambles in Tower Hamlets.

  387. 387
    Tremors says:

    I hope Farage beefs up his security. Now he’s caused an earthquake, I fear the Tories or especially Labour will resort to nefarious methods to put him out of the picture. Labour are a murderous, criminal outfit who’ll do anything to get power. Some may say I’m exaggerating but Labour’s record speaks for itself. They’re evil.

  388. 388
    Kirsten Farage says:

    Disgusting fat gitEr ist der Front Boden einer ekelhaft dicke Dame

  389. 389
    Jethro (Q.C.) says:

    My clients, the Conservatoffs, and The Sluttish National Party, might well demand an apology at the least, for ‘contumely by omission’.
    For a suitably handsome fee, however, I might be able to dissuade them from pursuing an Action in which there is no merit, and little chance of success.

  390. 390
    winki the ahem says:

    civil is boring. aviation is boring. authority is all mixed u?
    bring back the banana republic.
    *monkeys like to swim*

  391. 391
    Steamer says:

    Nige lands another punch right in the blob’s guts. Great.

    So far, the Electoral Commission has not come into focus as part of the Lib/Lab/Con/BBC/EU problem. It has always been given the benefit of trust and never really questioned. It has taken care to keep a low profile.

    Nevertheless, it presides over:
    -the postal vote racket
    -unequal constituency sizes
    -shenanigans in the ballot stations worthy of Mugabe
    -the obviously deliberate confusion over party names to the detriment of one party( UKIP)
    – and all the while is very tardy over constituency changes with opaque procedures

    -time for the searchlight to shine on it and then kill it.

    Just watch that slippery sod Cameron try to protect it!

  392. 392
    Ed Moribund says:

    Someone remind me- why did I give Axelrod £300,000 ?

    I wanted to sign a top singer, songwriter, musician with a cult following and the ability to turn tunes into cash and t/shirt sales.

    instead, I hired Bez.

  393. 393
    Two Dogs of Empiricism says:

    Labour is the only party seriously engaged in working out answers to the big long term issues the country faces – John Woodcock MP (seriously)


  394. 394

    In Yorkshire, we also had an “Independence From Europe” party at the top of the list.

    I even warmed my wife to look out for it.

    The real question is who is behind it and funds it?

    The EU?

  395. 395
    Nick Clegg says:

    ohhh a lib dem uprising? Ohhh! I’m scared..NOT!!

    Have you even seen a Liberal Democrat? They have no anger. No conflict. No spine.

    being attacked by a liberal is like being attacked by a vicar.
    Vague calls for change in a parish magazine. A disapproving tut. A Sunday sermon about Jesus outstaying his welcome at Gaxpuchanezur’s house on the way to Antioch. A bake sale and fundraiser in aid of ‘raising awareness’ about leadership.

    Bollocks to ‘em. I’m staying and those yellow streak of piss cowards haven’t the collective balls to shift me.

  396. 396
    Ratfur luhman's colour photocopier says:

    Axed Axle Odding bringing no benefitting to Mr Millimong. Vote mooz for your ONLY safe future.

  397. 397
    Anonymous says:

    Has Dan got a small majority, or is it just the cold weather?

  398. 398
    Fruitcake, swivel eyed loony and closet racist says:

    Based on the electorate’s reaction to the MSM & Establishment’s attacks on Farage & UKIP in the run up to last Thursday which only made people more determined to vote for him an ‘incident’ where he was the victim would be highly ill advised.

    Vote UKIP, get UKIP.
    Vote Tory, get Labour.

  399. 399
    Abdul Krim's bum boi says:

    i may have missed it, but will someone please tell me how long it took Tower Hamlets to declare?

  400. 400
    The wizz says:

    Kin-Hell, when does she have time to scratch her bum with all those appointments. Is she another QUANGO queen?

  401. 401
    Botus says:


  402. 402
    Mr Nobody says:

    Labour are infinitely worse than any other party, to even bracket them in with others is an insult to the intelligence. Compare the Lib Dems with the Tories if you will, but Labour sit atop a high pedestal of ruthless money wasting and incompetence ne’er matched in this land.

  403. 403
    ESC says:

    elderflower, when the elders do not work.
    sparkling strawberyy and rhubarb…when SR (seniors are quired)
    C is for Citizen. whistle at the Zen Budhists. MAKE NOISE.

  404. 404
    Clarifier says:

    Don’t be such a moron. Most of Ukip’s supporters don’t have a clue what Ukip stand for. And, tbh, it doesn’t really matter because it’s next week’s drivel.

  405. 405
    Ratfur luhman's colour photocopier brethren says:

    In December, the charity Crimestoppers named Birmingham and Bradford as crash for cash capitals, based on insurance data.
    The cities host nine of the ten districts where the crime is most likely. The final area is in Bolton.
    The Insurance Fraud Bureau estimates the annual cost of crash for cash scams is £392million.

    Read more:
    Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

  406. 406
    self hypnosis says:

    mind how you go.
    use MIND.
    u will be mental if u use it u will be mental if .
    . the new creed.
    I say empty the mind. “recycle”

  407. 407
    Purple Dogzzz says:

    EXCLUSIVE: Electoral Commission Claimed UKIP Spoiler Party Name Was ‘Sufficiently Different’

    “Despite last night’s successes for the UK Independence Party, a bad taste may stick in the mouth regarding an attempt to hijack UKIP voters by a disgruntled ex UKIP representative.
    Documents seen by Breitbart London reveal that upon discovering that Mike Nattrass had registered “An Independence” Party, claiming top slot on Thursday’s ballot papers, Nigel Farage’s UK Independence Party filed a complaint with the elections regulator in the UK, the Electoral Commission.”

    No H/T to Guido!

  408. 408
    Corby says:

    Yep! Vote early, vote often.

  409. 409
    T May says:

    If you have something you think is interesting to say, say it. But please don’t bore us with a load of tedious and inapposite American references.

  410. 410
    Purple Dogzzz says:

    It’s been suspended until tomorrow.

  411. 411
    Ratfur luhman's colour photocopier brethren says:

    “There is suspicion about postal votes and I hope the police are investigating and not brushing it under the carpet,” he said.

    “I think they do not like confronting it because it involves a certain group of people.”

    Mr Rahman first came to power in 2010 after leaving the Labour Party. He became mayor alongside a cabinet of Independent councillors.

    Mr Gold said that there were “arguments, threats and chaos at the counting tables” this year, with supporters of Mr Rahman “challenging vote after vote”.

    And he said that mainstream journalists were only allowed on the counting floor if escorted by a member of staff – but the branch of the media supporting Mr Rahman was free to come and go.

    “This is not the first time this has happened – it happens over and over again,” he said.

    “I just despair over the whole thing. We have laws in this country that need to be enforced, but the police are too frightened to exercise their power.”

  412. 412
    urs says:

    u rs.
    arse cannot be contained, hence it is sincere. is madness sincere?

  413. 413
  414. 414
    darling says:

    is that a tiger in your mouth or are you just happy to feed me.

  415. 415
    Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

    If Liebour hadn’t caused the problems in the first place, we wouldn’t need Liebour and still don’t need Liebour working out the answers , their answers cost the country too much money

  416. 416

    u got guns?

  417. 417
    Politically Incorrect says:

    Shouldn’t we now be CELEBRATING our greater diversity in UK party politics?

  418. 418
    Antiseptic says:

    The Mail’s Chutzpah wins the International Chutzpah Prize of 2014, beating Robert Mugabe into second place.

  419. 419
    Mili the con says:

    I may be a barbarian.
    My hubbie is a professor.
    you got a hubbie, missy

  420. 420
    Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

    Democracy doesn’t exist in Londonistan, democracy doesn’t exist in the Palace of Westminster so, you can’t expect it to exist a few miles away.

  421. 421
    Diane Abbott international lefty Election Monitor says:

    Would that be Sheffield Jamaica?

  422. 422
    Loofah Rotman says:

    Die infidels! Tower Hamlets is an islamic republic.

  423. 423
    Rat Smeller says:

    Surely the important question is who was behind this An Independence Party? Do they have a Labour or Tory background? Were they paid by some shadowy transplanted oligarch?

  424. 424
    The British media are cunts says:

    Basically anyone who reads a broadsheet (they really mean the Guardian) and likes to go on holiday to Europe (they mean looking for drugs and young boys) is a well educated intellectual person, a nice person.

    Read a tabloid 9they mean the Sun) and like a pint in a pub and a weekend at the seaside then you’re basically a racist white cuunt who should be gassed.

  425. 425
    Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

    Will diversity still be in the ex MEPs hearts after they have spent the £157,000 they get for being a loser after all it’s a big jump from 1st class to 3rd class and losing all that networking.

  426. 426
    The British media are cunts says:

    Do you know where Sheffield is fattybot?

  427. 427
    The Public says:

    The Electoral Commission should all discover that life on the dole is ‘sufficiently different’ to demonstrate what happens when you abuse your public office to subvert democracy.

  428. 428
    The British media are cunts says:

    Yes if I were Farage I wouldn’t go for a walk in the woods alone.

  429. 429
    Put your own house in orderr first says:

    So why did she go all the way to Venezuela to make sure the elections were Kosher when she only had to walk over to Tower Hamlets to watch genuine third World election fraud first hand?

  430. 430
    Postal Voter says:

    127% turnout and still rising.

  431. 431
    why is Alexi sayle fat says:

    why is alex wiki thin.
    why is the universe round.

  432. 432
    Person X says:

    H”rry thinks politics is a game he can two-facedly take part in to satisfy his narcissism. It isn’t. He needs to grow up.

  433. 433
    Y ISQY. says:

    Y IS Y.
    fill in the blanks.


  434. 434
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    No – actually he was supported by the establishment – but at arms length obviously – but haven’t the establishment had their orange agenda smacked in the mouth over the w/end.

  435. 435
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    You couldn’t lose your seat. It’s too large.

  436. 436
    Anonymous says:

    outside the M25?

  437. 437
    sue This sue That. says:

    no one is asking Y.
    no one is asking why.

    gaviscon sells leptic acid. lepper sells deformities. change form. HENCEFORTH.

    turn backwards in the middle f the Firth of Forth . it is only a bridge.

  438. 438
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    It’s not been “Daves Conservatives” it’s been a coalition with the Limp dumbs who won’t support any changes to postal votes or to boundries. Blame the “fair votes” party

  439. 439
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    9 out of 10 Lib Dems are beyond help. Ditto Labour and ditto The tory party.

    The all live in a ‘cognitive dissonance bubble’.

  440. 440
    David Axlegrease says:

    GOODBYE, ED…..

  441. 441
    Sadiq Khan 4 Mayor says:

    Jean-Claude Juncker will make a great European Commission President.

    Juncker is the word on everyone’s lips.

  442. 442

    “I don’t think for a moment that he would have shot GDR escapees”

    I think that’s the nicest thing anyone’s said about me here.

    And yet Biggles’ favourite European leader is an ex KGB agent. Funny how things work out.

  443. 443
    Full Disclosure. says:

    yes, it is fine. i will be the hneymoon suite at claridges.
    please bring porridge with you.

    i will be smoking hot in my Banana outfit.
    please fit my nne pins n your Tag Hauer watch. ps, lease leave her,an behind. who needs Cameron when Anglie is in town.

    ps. guido please sign the full disclosure document with your bear hands.

  444. 444
    Dame Suzi Leather. says:

    I will just remind you bozo’s of the fact that I am the Quango Queen and no one can change chairs quicker.

  445. 445
    Trigger says:

    >Tim Farron

    >Only Nick Clegg challenged Nigel Farage head on, standing up to Ukip’s crowd-pleasing populism.

    Or perhaps the crowd were just pleased at the popular answers provided by Nigel and voted for such, as Nick continued too spout drivel..

  446. 446
    Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

    Watched that with total amazement, people here like Europe but hate/detest the EU big difference, lumping the EUSSR and Europe is two totally different things, keep it up BBC brainwashing won’t work any more, you’ve been found out.

  447. 447
    Northern Ireland dilemma says:

    The Real UKIP?

  448. 448
    redefine define says:

    are you fucking deaf? in the meantime indians rush to scale their mountain.
    they are snakes in the bush. why break with the bad. break the wall f religion. a youngster (lucky age is 13) has climbed her everst. her surname is “purana”

  449. 449
    Incompetence writ large says:

    And still the count goes on in Northern Ireland……and they’ll have to come back tomorrow to continue….

  450. 450
    koba says:

    The Nazis were far-left socialists?

  451. 451
    Rays Sister says:

    I would be more than happy to start the engines and fly all you fuckers back to the shitholes you came from…

  452. 452
    Politically Incorrect says:

    Ukip have torn up the map

    “These claims may seem exaggerated. But the more you look at the data – the further you drill down into how people actually voted on Thursday – the more you can see that predictions that Ukip will fade away are a case of wishful thinking. It is now crystal clear that the party really does have the potential to cause chaos in 2015, affecting all three parties in unforeseen and unpredictable ways.”

  453. 453
    táxpáyér says:

    Who made the decision?
    How soon can they clear their desk?

  454. 454
    Top comment says:


    God politics has been boring for so long now and now along comes Farage to wake everyone up and give the establishment a good shot across the bows, love it.
    How long have the miserable sods been promising jam tomorrow? Telling us all to work hard and when we retire there will be a nice rest and a chance to enjoy ourselves. Then they decided we had to work longer, in fact it would be good if we died at our desks. Then they said they couldn’t afford the NHS but continued to take the payments from our wages. They put people on the Liverpool pathway and left them to die sedated up to the eyeballs, hungry, thirsty and without pain relief.
    They manufactured a housing bubble to help their mates buy holiday homes which has put house prices even further out of reach of ordinary couples and they brought in lots of fit young Eastern Europeans and then dumped the old mugs who had worked for years for them just as they were getting older with health problems. They spent our money on wars and giving it to Europe and then told us they couldn’t afford the welfare state but still they continued to take our money in contributions. And they wonder why we are sick of the lot of them and in particular the Lib Dems who said they were different, cuddly and fluffy and instead they turned out just like all the rest.

  455. 455
    roger the hamster says:

    your are cordially invited to visit us in our Hell, yessssssssprovinciality.
    please be accompanied by your balls. human flesh is smokihit with our neighbours . we hear that your prince is not very desirable, was he always borne to be a superior girl.

  456. 456

    Actually if you drill down through the data, the far right vote only went up by two points, it’s just that the Lemons got almost all of it this time.

  457. 457
    Dirty old bastard says:

    Heseltine, the obnoxious traitorous cùnt…..must be time he died.

  458. 458
    táxpáyér says:

    So UKIP are a single issue populist party that people don’t understand it’s policies??

    You’re so stupid you probably voted for the greens or some other imbecile-group.

  459. 459
    Socialism Must Die says:

    I think you are in denial.

  460. 460
    Person X says:

    What’s he done now?

  461. 461
    The end of the LibDems says:

    The Libdems got the far right vote? Are you on crack?!

  462. 462
    The end of the LibDems says:

    Yeah, and Nick lost, both times. He then went on to lose in the local elections and in the LibDems’ favourite elections – the PR EU ones, and next he’s going to lose in the Newark by-election. On top of that, Nick is going to lose his seat in Sheffield – to the Tories: what irony.

  463. 463
    mark easton bbsocialist says:

    hey you – the great unwashed – didn’t you see my piece on the 10pm news?

    Our history is one of waves of European migration. We’ve always resented European invasions though, but now we’re much more continental in our ways than we realise.

    we did a poll and graduates, people with good jobs and people who watch our 24hr rolling bollux agree.

    people who like looking at girls and work with their hands for a living hate immigrants.

  464. 464
    Fishy says:

    Yeah. Just after midnight, before the London result, when Labour were on 23.4% and the Tories on 24.9%, the BBC reported them both on 24%.

    No longer biased, they just make things up.

    It reminded me of their reporting that Hollande was elected in France with a ‘resounding’ 51.6% share of the vote, while Boris ‘scraped home’ in London with 51.5%

  465. 465
     Officer Dibble says:

    Isn’t this a bit like a teacher allowing pupils to mark their own homework?

  466. 466
    pookie snackumberger says:

    The grist of his sly little piece was it is only uneducated people who want out of the EU prison.

  467. 467
    cough lnks. says:

    button up or be. bit n the side.
    cough and feel its link to the pulse.
    bits and cons. the world is at a virtual standstill.

    it is very easy ti push the virtual reality out of the way.

  468. 468
    Fishy says:


    Frank Field rewrites history. Blames the Tories for the worst recession in living memory.

  469. 469
    Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

    BBC doing it’s masters bidding, we never found out why the BBC needed those soft loans from the EUSSR, the EU is not and will never be Europe.

  470. 470
    The end of the LibDems says:

    Are we talking about the problems Labour caused in the noughties? the seventies? the fifties? or the thirties?

  471. 471
    dick ed rubber face says:

    interestingly the three stooge gestapo have infiltrated netmums to disparage farage and say he wants to get rid of maternity pay.

    the three cheeks are after the votes of our women folk. they see them as weak.

  472. 472
    Fuck me, this guy might be onto something says:

    Send gay employees to Russia to change attitudes, Lord Browne says

    British companies should send gay employees into countries like Russia where homosexuality is frowned upon to promote attitude change, Lord Browne, the Cuadrilla chairman has said.

  473. 473
    Merkel says:

    England? Where’s England?

  474. 474
    pookie snackumberger says:

    What was telling about Paxo’s three guests from the Liblabcon is when they were asked what to do about UKIP not one could give an answer. They have no answers to his straight forward goals.

    They are all in the grip of the EU bureaucrats, they have no say one way or the other on the issues UKIP are talking about, their hands, mouths and feet are tied tight.

  475. 475
    Trigger says:

    She well needs too cut out the cheese burgers etc, but…

  476. 476
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:


  477. 477
    Labour fiddlers? says:

    Well, someone already tried to s t a b . an . e t h n i c . m i n o r i t y . kipper, didn’t they?





    Like this

  478. 478

    Well at least you have this place to prove him wrong.

  479. 479
    Hugo Young from Chelsea says:

    kill the “mr”.
    stay young.

  480. 480
    Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

    Is he doing that for the sympathy vote, he’s a bit late, even for May 2015.

  481. 481
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Yet he never picked up the conveniently placed revolver

  482. 482
    Tom says:

    Blair creation, stuffed with Marxist ex councillors.

  483. 483
    Lord Oakshit says:


  484. 484
    Racist to the core says:

  485. 485
    cunt says:

    he’s nearly as ugly as his mum

  486. 486
    Hugo BOSS the younger says:

    all that is technical apes the ape.
    esc ape.

    e scar face.

    a scar on the face.
    a scarry face. nigerian willi is ready for the chop. no good. know jonathan. if teh sword is the yruth, then scar your face with it.

  487. 487
    Labour says:

    The people have spoken loudly and clearly. As a party, we’ve learnt some important lessons from these results which we’re going to act on.

    Next time, we’re going to have more fraudulent postal votes.

  488. 488
    spoon says:

    eat it

  489. 489
    telsa says:

    gc eh?
    he he.

  490. 490
    Tom Watson says:

    I don’t understand why girls don’t like me. I’m perfect, fabulous and handsome. Girls have always rejected me. Now I will punish them for ignoring me.

  491. 491
    Fuck Off Beaker says:

  492. 492
    spade says:

    u dig?

  493. 493
    wop shop says:

    u got nuns?

  494. 494
    hate me says:

    i beat you

  495. 495
    Anonymous says:

    He is right. The Electoral Commission should be shut down. Their conduct in 2010 seems to have been forgotten.

    I am still waiting for an explanation why I have been denied a vote all these years. Still could not vote last Thursday.

    They just do not care. They are wrapped up in their procedures and guidance, to even look at a problem with corrupt and incompetent people. They are typical of the way the UK is run. Parliament makes Acts, and then they re-interpret the Acts as guidance for simple cases. No one ever looks at the Acts again, especially if it is found that their guidance is wrong or incomplete.

  496. 496
    Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

    Make sure their insurance policy is up to date and is a large sum of money, make sure they have an exit valid exit visa and an open return ticket and a few security guards and a map as to where the nearest hospital is, apart from that I hope they enjoy themselves.

  497. 497
    Millwall says:

    Don’t be such a moron. Most of Ukip’s opponents don’t have a clue what Ukip stand for. And, tbh, it doesn’t really matter because it’s next week’s drivel.

  498. 498
    Opposer of Unaccountable Quango's says:

    Dear Electoral Commission,


    I was most alarmed to discover on my EU ballot paper that there was a very confusing, similar party name, to the one I wished to vote for listed, which I nearly inadvertently voted for.

    The similar party names were:

    UK Independence Party (UKIP)
    An Independence from Europe Party (UK Independence now).

    I personally saw through this confusion and I did vote for the party of my desire. However my partner has let me know she was subject to the same obvious similarity which resulted in her inadvertently voting for the wrong party.

    Could you please explain to me why you allowed this so similar name, to an established party, appear on the ballot paper?

    I do believe this obvious similarity could result in the distortion of the electorate intended vote.
    This would be such a travesty for our proud and ancient democracy that I spent 25 years military service defending and is, in my view, a serious dereliction of Electoral oversight.

    So much so, I wish to raise this with my Member of Parliament and would therefore please request you inform me of the full facts of how this similarity was allowed, particularly who made the decision.

    I am willing to deal with this matter by email.

    Yours sincerely,

  499. 499
    Tom Watson says:

    For the last 30 years I’ve had to endure rejection from women. I don’t understand why girls aren’t attracted to me. I’m famous, rich, perfect and fabulous. Girls should want me.

  500. 500
    Anonymous says:

    Defend your values and interests. Mine have all been destroyed by the EU.

    You can not speak for me.

  501. 501
    Millwall says:

  502. 502
    Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

    He’s writing gobbledygook, EU doesn’t have values or interests, it has greed corruption and lies and 17 years of unaudited accounts, time he retired and was put on the Liverpool pathway.

  503. 503
    Glenda says:

    Is he going to do that in every constituency?

  504. 504
    tl c says:

    tell c .
    tender is 10 a penny.

    tina turner says turn 3 the other way. love is the fork. Knife is shaking stephen shakespeare. sainthood is when?
    hood is quiet. c oo in high definition.


    i is i
    2 is i.

    the creator is his own

    tell boy.
    ball boy. it is the end of c.
    it is the ene of bbc.

  505. 505
    Complain why don't you says:

    You know it works – proof: we got rid of Andy’s cqc scam: If you feel they were wrong just do it folks.

  506. 506
    Ed who? says:

    going for high profile scalps where they can is a good resource-stretching strategy for ukip. Labour may feel drawn into trying to protect favourites other than miliband.

    Balls and other frontbenchers could be vulnerable too… this calls for a wanted list…

  507. 507
    Complain why don't you says:

    You know it works – proof: we got rid of Andy’s cqc scam: If you feel they were wrong just do it folks.

  508. 508

    I good night all round for swivel eyed ultra nationalism.

  509. 509
    Complain why don't you says:

    You know it works – proof: we got rid of Andy’s cqc scam: If you feel they were wrong just do it folks.

  510. 510
    Let's Work Together says:

    We look forward to that Dan. I’ve being saying for a couple of years now that the minimum they will get will be 8%. Mr Hodges seems not to have any idea what is going on in this country. Just factor in one thing: how many parents have got kids aged 25 plus still living with them in their house? People are beginning to understand what the mass immigration policy means for them and their families.

    BTW tonight I heard Michael Heseltine dismiss 2 million people – mostly young people – as not worthy of employment.

  511. 511
    just for you sir bernard humble-horace aka horace (at) outgun (dot) com says:

    well i ain’t going to end my life at all “chum”. what i am going to do however is wipe you from this earth. what you have done to me, my family, to countless children and adults- if anyone wants to know what satan looks like all they need do is look at a picture of you.

    my grandfather was not just a freemason he was also a stonemason aka a keeper of the secrets that are kept from all those that are not true carvers. and it is readily apparent that i was “made”. it is ironic of the duplicity of the black and white checks of the board in that some freemasons are decent and others are monsters and you are one of the latter.

    no doubt you abide not to talk about certain things within the lodge, but out of the lodge you can talk and plot and action whatever you fucking want, and the fact you are top of the pig food chain gives you carte blanche. but there are decent freemasons and whilst i would not speak for them i can categorically state you are number one on my action list. to think i fell for all that friend shite when i asked you friend or foe. nice swerve by george robertson of momentum charity to implant the notion you were sir ian blair by the way. course “george” though was one of yours.

    i am going to destroy you personally, professionally and most importantly, physically. and anyone who has willfully conspired with you in the past, the present and in the future. that special masonic twinkle that resides within me is out for your head as well. this is not a matter that is going to end up in some super secret sanctioned court- you and your profane crew are now legitimate targets on account of me formally announcing war against you- both spiritual and temporal. you are now the prey “chum” and i am the predator. see how you enjoy it you disgusting subhuman scumbag.

    check out the way gaddafi checked out

    ps how much money did you make from the arch angel t35 scam? i mention that just in case you think there is something in my words that you can operate with- there ain’t. not only did you try to fuck over those who peace had been made with you also tried to fuck over scotland. something to dwell on from your “yard”. your demise is going to be horrific and deliciously slow. i will be throwing the darkest magic there is at you and your treacherous co-conspirators. demons not seen since the primordial chaos.

    sweet dreams horace- here’s your favourite moody blues tune

  512. 512
    Ciaran Goggins says:

    Have I said how much I enjoyed Cyril Smith nocturnal visits to my dorm?

  513. 513

    Vote UKIP :-D

  514. 514
    Jim says:

    But you’ve just put a comma instead of a full stop.

    Zat make u fick?

  515. 515
    Jack Ketch says:

    In Zimbabwe they are sealed with string and sealing wax! (No seal, just a dob of wax)

  516. 516
    Jack Ketch says:

    That until recently ballot papers were only permitted to show the name of a candidate and their political party in FPP elections and I seem to recall that at one time even the party affiliation was omitted; this pre-supposes that all voters are literate–something that we know is not true and must have been a little worse in 1918 when universal male suffrage was introduced. However, voters are still asked to mark their choice with an “X”–the signature of the illiterate, but also the universal symbol of NON-approval (the opposite of a tick).

    African elections include pictures of party leaders.

  517. 517
    Jack Ketch says:

    Well the South East candidate was a bit of nice Dutch totty that was already in te EU parliament as one of Geert Wilders’ PVV MEPs. Laurence Statten–hot.

  518. 518
    Jack Ketch says:

    Hmmmmm! The Electoral Commission website reveals NO DATA for any donations or loans to this party–all the other parties have full data.

  519. 519
    Jack Ketch says:

    Then all their telephone calls and e-mails to party managers should be available.

  520. 520
  521. 521
    Workers vote UKIP. says:


  522. 522
    Jack Ketch says:

    Didn’t Lordy Browne Hatter resign as chairman of BP for rogering rent boys?

  523. 523
    nigel farage says:

    treaty of rome says that portugal is opportunistic as it is lonely.

  524. 524
    YoungNipper Kipper says:


    Yes because those enormous voting numbers indicate that only the Aged voted for UKIP.

    Keep your head buried deep in that sand.

    Myself and my three brothers, all born after ’78, are laughing at your head down/ ar*e up postures.

  525. 525
    Two Dogs of Empiricism says:

    It had not been my intention to sully your reputation here quite that much, Jimmy. You have expended much thought and energy in honing your brand.

    One thing we can all unite over is in abhorring authoritarian regimes.

    Thus does Russia stand condemned in equal part to the EU. The Great Satan is going that way, alas.

    We all bear the scars of The Reign Of Terror presided over by Maximus Imbecilicus…

  526. 526

    One extend congratulations to Lutfur Rahman on managing to outgun Labour in their strongest area, voting fraud.

    Lutfur is performing a valuable public role in showing how toothless are the Electoral Commission, the Government and the Police in being able to combat this state of total corruption.

  527. 527

    Let’s look at my hanging seaweed analysis again.

    Schrödinger’s cat says:
    May 25, 2014 at 9:46 pm

    UKIP 33%
    Labour 26%
    Tories 25%

    Fuck the others.

    The outcome to date:
    UKIP 31%
    Labour 23%
    Tories 25%

    Why spend fortunes on all these useless pollsters?

  528. 528
    non taxable pikey says:

    When do I get to vote for him?

  529. 529
    non taxable pikey says:

    Shadow Public Health Minister (ex) was a case of do as I say, not do as I do. Showed Millimong’s grip on things that it took 3 years to get shot of her. Super Fuggly Gobshite. Has she found Newark on the map yet?

  530. 530
    Long john silver's parrot says:

    A man who has clearly got the message.

    Three times in three weeks his Spanish Prime Minister has promised tax cuts to the masses but no one is any the wiser what they are.

  531. 531
    pookie snackumberger says:

    In a word: Jobs (for the boys). Oh and to be able to subtly influence opinion.

  532. 532
    Rumpy's Bank says:

    No worries. He can take himself off to Spain or his beloved Holland.

  533. 533
    pookie snackumberger says:

    I think we need to send the Riders of Rohan to Tower Hamlets.

  534. 534
    Forget the Red Flag - this is the Socialists true song says:

  535. 535
    far-left loser frothing at the mouth says:

    bye love!

  536. 536
    far-left loser frothing at the mouth says:

    send in the curry guns!

    how did it ever work for decades before the ec existed?

    wasn’t it just created as an election-fixing agency?

  537. 537
    far-left loser frothing at the mouth says:

    he means (share) value and (share) interest… how else can he afford his harem of ganymedes into retirement?!

  538. 538
    far-left loser frothing at the mouth says:

    i don’t wish to know about the drilling and fracking of ganymede

  539. 539
    far-left zombie loser frothing at the mouth says:

    he used to be the only remotely sane lefty… world war z seems to have spread throughout the backbenches then

  540. 540
    far-left zombie loser frothing at the mouth says:

    mark easton is like the terminator two incarnation of jon snow

    there can be only one…

    let the zombielefty war begin!

  541. 541
    far-left zombie loser frothing at the mouth says:

    bye Nick!

  542. 542
    8umboy 8illy hague says:

    I love that posture.

  543. 543
    WoRaft Chihuahua says:

    BBC busy ‘shaping the narrative’. Having spent umpteen years as the mouthpiece of Labour, it is now mounting a Save the Cameron offensive by giving out the message that he’s going to tell the EU what it has to do.

    I’m sure they will all instantly do what he tells them, especially that lot at the ECJ.

  544. 544
    My old dutch says:

    I’d fuck that.

  545. 545
    David, Nick and Ed says:

    Have I resigned yet?

  546. 546
    Cunt bingo says:


  547. 547
    The nation's perverts says:

    We love you Dave.

  548. 548
    World Traveller says:

    I once met a real live Indian gentlemen (hailed from Bombay) in the middle east who spoke the purest Glaswegian – and wondered wtf I could not understand a word he was saying!

  549. 549
    World Traveller says:

    Oh! I thought it was because all the older snooker players had bought up all the forests!

  550. 550
    Boris - almost as big a cunt as Cameron says:

    The peasants are revolting.

    PS although some of their women are quite fuckable.

  551. 551
    Socialism is theft says:

    What the TV debate between Farage and Clegg proved was that the more the public find out about the EU the more they realise what a crock of shit it is. Sure it benefits the rich elite in London, but London is not Great Britain.

    The rising cost of living hurts the poor most and Labour are responsible for it. They were in government when the deepest recession in living memory occurred. They made austerity necessary in order to pay for their high public spending follies. They forced up energy bills with their green taxes. They imported millions of poor immigrants to undercut UK worker wages. So whenever Miliband bleats on about the cost of living crisis’, he should be constantly reminded of this.

  552. 552
    Cmon_Nige says:

    Those “mirror-sycophants’ who work on quangos have their address books riddled with people who they flatter regularly and other ‘best-friends’ on whom they can call up ‘nepotic’ job connections.
    Champagne Socialists always stick together.

  553. 553
    Put the tubby cunt on a diet says:

    I’m not sure that he should grow any more – he’s immensely fat already.

  554. 554
    String Vest says:

    Don’t forget to tell your kids that the new school that they are attending will be paid for by them. PFI = get something now but transfer the costs to the next generation.

  555. 555
    Shooty* says:

    Srsly? Including leicesteristan?

  556. 556
  557. 557
    Jonny Depp says:

    ….Was he in the Pirates of the Carribian, or summut????????

  558. 558
    World Traveller says:

    There was a time when this lass was quite bright, but these days she just autocue reads what Jasmine and Mary upstairs type out for her.

    PS: Why are those latter two still employed at the BBC?

  559. 559
    peterthepainter says:

    Told my wife the same thing when we got her election address. Wife was not impressed – don’t know why.

    When I got my voting paper I realised that she wasn’t the real thing – cheating moo.

  560. 560
    World Traveller says:

    That’s why they have plankton like Jowell, Smiffy-5-bellies and other miscellaneous lefty air-headed bimbos do the press reviews.

  561. 561
    World Traveller says:

    “Nation shall speak piss unto nation”

  562. 562
    Asceptic says:

    We jsut can’t wait for the old commie cockroach to come scuttling in.

  563. 563
    World Traveller says:

    Song for Cleggie:

    A furtive Tear to help him through the week?

  564. 564
  565. 565
    World Traveller says:

    As most of them were “educated” under [victims of] the Shirley Williams “reforms”, they are probably illiterate and innumerate – so he is almost certainly correct. Just can’t get the staff these days…

  566. 566
    World Traveller says:

    … and occupy a cold cell in a max security prison.

  567. 567
    World Traveller says:

    Even when they do, the wet wimpy lefty magistrates and their ilk always let the guilty ones off with a very very strict slap on the wrist. Can’t blame plod for declining to get involved when they are not supported by others above them who are too weak to do their jobs properly either.

  568. 568
    World Traveller says:

    Walk? Why? No taxi would stop for her?

  569. 569
    World Traveller says:

    Anyone know who is in charge of the electricity supply switches and the mains water taps for that area? They want to live in darkness and dirt – so let’s help them along a bit.

  570. 570
    World Traveller says:

    “Our history is one of waves of European migration. We’ve always resented European invasions though, but now we’re much more continental in our ways than we realise.” Geography is not really my strong suit, so could somebody please tell me when the Indian sub-continent became part of Europe?

  571. 571
    World Traveller says:

    Word is the muzzy world could also do with a few to help balance numbers. Iran is the best place to start – but as they tend to hang folk from high cranes, better make sure your recruits/volunteers do not suffer from vertigo.

  572. 572
    Funambulist says:


  573. 573
    Austin Tash says:

    According to that, the Greens gained two MEPs at UKIP’s expense. Interesting that lots of lefties on Twitter are accusing the BBC of bias because they don’t give the Greens enough coverage, and that UKIP’s success is due to BBC publicity for UKIP.

    Adding in the 235,124 votes to the spoiler party gives UKIP an 1.5% share of the vote, up to 29%.

  574. 574
    Anonymous says:

    “Farage Calls for Electoral Commission to Be Abolished”
    In return, EU calls for voting for representatives to follow referendums into the realm of redundancy?

  575. 575
    DB says:

    Wouldn’t a Commission with a collective IQ in triple figures at least have insisted on printing half the ballot papers in alphabetical order and the other half in reverse alphabetical order?

  576. 576
    Viagra says:

    If you were too dumb to interpret the voting form then maybe you should be banned!

  577. 577
    School dinner lady says:

    Eat your greens

  578. 578
    Anonymous says:

    It’s to be sure to be sure.

  579. 579
    Bert the Cert says:

    Not a serious error like not reading a ballot paper.

  580. 580
    Bert the Cert says:


  581. 581
    Anonymous says:

    Good old n igga

  582. 582
    Steve Cheney says:

    “Nigel Farage has called for the Electoral Commission to be abolished for allowing the misleadingly named An Independence From Europe party onto the ballot papers.”

    It’s only misleading if you’re a functional illiterate.

  583. 583
    Poor Bloody Taxpayer says:

    All Common Purpose should be weeded out and shot.

  584. 584
    Anonymous says:

    I just complained about this disgraceful issue.

    You can do so here:

  585. 585

    Reblogged this on Reblogged Blogs and commented:
    It was ridiculous for the Electoral Commission to allow the spoiler party, which did little or rather NO campaigning. Many people I’m told realised the mistake & crossed out the vote for the imposter party thus putting their X firmly next to UKIP !
    This resulted in many thousands of spoilt ballot papers! Maybe there should be an eraser on a piece of string to accompany the pencil so people can rectify any mistakes? Got to be better than the votes not even being counted!
    There must be a better way in the 21st Century to carry out a ballot? Answers on a postcard please …… Lol even on holidays you get a text or e-mail these days.

  586. 586
    Richard sniffer and he's wife fanny says:

    Come on Anony you know you don’t mean it

  587. 587
    rinky stingpiece says:

    Labour need a poor chunk of the population to justify their existence – they need a wealth gap to sustain their narrative. That is why Labour always keeps it’s voters in it’s “Labour heartlands” as poor as possible, so that it can blame the Tories for it and get reelected.

    Socialism is a peacock that devours wealth and shits poverty in its urban nests.

  588. 588
    r i n k y _ s t i n g p i e c e says:

    Labour need a poor chunk of the population to justify their existence – they need a wealth gap to sustain their narrative. That is why Labour always keeps it’s voters in it’s “Labour heartlands” as poor as possible, so that it can blame the Tories for it and get reelected.

    Socialism is a peacock that devours wealth and shits poverty in its urban nests.

  589. 589
    r i n k y _ s t i n g p i e c e says:

    “Democracy is when the indigent, and not the men of property, are the rulers.”

  590. 590
    English Heretic says:

    This seems an entirely sensible and economical solution, you should suggest it to the Tax Payers Alliance, they are pretty good at getting stuff done.

  591. 591
    Anonymous says:

    So basically you are a moron

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