April 13th, 2014

Latest Polls Have New Highs for UKIP
Miliband Win Worse for Tories Than Farage Win


ComRes CON 29% (-3), LAB 35% (=), LDEM 7% (-2), UKIP 20% (+4)

Opinium CON 30% (-2), LAB 36% (+3), LDEM 7% (-3), UKIP 18% (+3)

Ipsos MORI CON 31%( -1), LAB 37% (+2), LDEM 9% (-4), UKIP 15% (+4)

The trend is clear, since the Nick ‘n Nige Euro Debate UKIP have gained at the expense largely of the LibDems and to a lesser extent the Tories. Clegg’s gamble on solidifying the pro-EU vote behind him has been a double-barrelled shot to his own foot. He came off worse and his mis-judgement has cost his party dearly. Guido hears LibDem loyalists now talking of them losing all their MEP’s seats…

Labour are 6% ahead in current polls, though this may not result in them winning the most seats at the Euro elections because when it comes to certainty to vote, UKIP voters are more motivated. CCHQ is dreading a UKIP victory at the polls sending their backbenchers into headless chicken mode. This chart shows why they should fear Labour winning more than UKIP winning:


If Labour get beaten by UKIP in May the pressure on Ed will explode and the divisions in his party will come out into the open. Whereas if Labour wins Ed will have the wind behind him for the general election. UKIP voters are more likely to return to the Tories when it comes to a general election choice between Miliband and Cameron, therefore it will be a far worse portent for the Tories if Labour rather than UKIP wins in May.


  1. 1
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

    Labour winning in May !!!

    I love it when you talk dirty to me :)


    • 3
      Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:

      I am officially Leader of the Pointless Party.

      We are polling slightly better than the Bus Pass Elvis Party.


      • 21
        Labour is the nasty party. says:

        I will vote UKIP for the European Elections but revert to The Conservatives for
        the General Election . The idea of Miliband and Balls running the country would
        make my skin crawl.


        • 27
          millions of other realists says:



          • Pro EU,Pro Imigration,Pro bumsex proclimate change Tory says:

            We are counting on you to come back.


          • Dave, Nick, Ed, The Queen... says:

            Keep Buggering On! And Support your country – Israel!


          • how it is says:

            You are weak.

            Grow some bollox and vote for what you believe in.

            Those who choose security over freedom, get and deserve neither.

            UKIP are the only ones worth voting for.


          • Euro-realist says:

            The May Election is THE Referendum. A huge vote for ‘Better Off Out’ will show Cameron, Clegg, Miliband, Angela Merkel, Barosso, Van Rumpoy and All that we really mean it. A huge vote in May will greatly strengthen Cameron’s hand if he really does get to renegotiate the terms of UK membership.


        • 28
          Bumsex Dave's Party is now equally odious says:

          What’s it like doing weekend shifts for CCHQ?


        • 56
          Fruitcake, swivel eyed loon, closet racist and proud of it says:

          Q. And the difference between those 2 and Cameron & Osborne is?

          A. None.

          They’re all establishment stooges towing the EU line.


        • 250
          Column No. 5 says:

          Voting UKIP could result in a hung Parliament, which is a good thing, since it stops the government doing anything.

          They do far too much as it is and each new Act of Parliament they pass further erodes whatever freedoms we have left and imposes more and more regulation on business.

          For example, in the Budget, they can now directly plunder your bank account if they believe you owe taxes. No court order, no warrant – just take it. Now the Tories want to increase the maximum sentence for saying something someone *might* find offensive – at the moment it’s a maximum of six months but that’s not good enough for Call Me Dave.

          Vote these bast*rds out before it’s too late!!


          • Socialism is theft says:

            Actually the government already does far less now than it used to do. This is because most of the important decisions that affect us are now taken behind the scenes in Brussels with the UK media ignoring most of it, as Guido does here.


          • Anonymous says:

            It would seem that UK Independence is a Party of small shop keepers. For at a time when many are suffering cut backs, why should “coffee” houses be allowed to rip us off and avoid tax? And, if it is OK to offend people, it should be OK to repeat what people call the likes of Starbucks?


          • Anonymous says:

            “they can now directly plunder your bank account if they believe you owe taxes.”
            Pity they can’t do the same to get back money fiddled by mp’s from the taxpayers.


        • 258
          Reggie Perrin MP says:

          I’m in an excruciatingly safe Tory seat, so I can merrily vote UKIP in the urine elections and NF in the degenerate elections.

          Frankly I hope everyone in a non-marginal who hates the cultural-political establishment and mock-liberal elite votes for a minor party – as long as it’s not the Libidinous Demagogues.

          Can’t wait to see them plummet to below 5% in the polls… that would give hope of seeing the two main ones fall to half the percentage they seem to take for granted.

          I never want to see another party get more than 30% of the polls again ~ that shit’s got to be over once the old tribal voting dinosaurs have died out.


        • 291
          Tom Catesby says:

          Voting UKIP in may for Europe in may is fine,but to guarantee a referendum in 2015 it will require a sizeable UKIP vote to maintain pressure on Cameron to keep his promise of a referendum.


          • Tom Catesby says:

            Should read….’Voting UKIP in May’.


          • FrankFisher says:

            If we got 20 UKIP seats in 2015 then no matter which party is leading a scabby coalition we could force a referendum on them. Plus, Dave will be gone.

            What’s not to like?


        • 480
          Great Granddad says:

          Milly and Ballsup will not have any hope of running the country. For that they would need a partner. The Cons won’t share power with them. The Dumbdumbs will need luck to get three seats. The shift to UKIP is likely to continue unabated till the election next year and they will hold the balance of power.


      • 35
        vera says:

        I’m voting UKIP in May and haven’t decided about the General Election. I may go back to my Tory roots, on the other hand any party that wants to keep us in EU doesn’t deserve my vote. While I shudder to think of Labour getting back in power, I believe remaining in the EU is a worse threat.


        • 52
          REALITY CHECK says:

          Here’s a maximum strength coffee, vera.

          Smell that when you wake up.


          • Fruitcake, swivel eyed loon, closet racist and proud of it says:

            Different parties, same shit.

            Happy with that are we?


        • 77
          wake up says:

          dream on the reality of labour back in power is far worse than our eu involvement


          • Reggie Perrin MP says:

            I’d take my chances with nuclear armageddon over the two red dick Eds being put in charge.


        • 447
          lojolondon says:

          I agree – would hate Miliband/Ball to get another chance to ruin our country, but all our legislation comes from Brussels, and the main three parties are all fully committed to obeying (and working for) the EU, so there is no ‘good’ option.


    • 5
      RomaBob... says:

      hahahahahaha and pigs might fly!


    • 22
      dai waving or dai drowning says:

      may day may day may day


    • 48
      Tories Implode says:

      Tories are a busted flush. They are a bunch of drunken, lecherous troughing Kweers.


    • 54
      Gooey Blob says:

      Very good analysis Guido. Ukip are worth a punt in the euros but come the general election it makes more sense to vote for the party best placed to stop the Labour candidate. That may be a Tory, it may be a Lib Dem. The point is to stop Ed and Ed getting into power.


      • 60
        the road to serfdom says:

        I am voting UKIP in the Euros and though I am generally conservative, I may not return for the general election. There is so little difference between Labour and Conservatives now. Both overspending, neither want us out of the EU or want to pare back the size of the government or our ludicrous benefits system. I don’t trust Dave to give us a referendum and if he does I don’t trust it not to be a fix.

        Maybe just vote UKIP until we are out of the EU. Labour in government again would be a tragedy. But the Conservatives in government now are a tragedy. We might be at the IMF a little quicker under Ed Milliband but we are governed by morons, always have been and always will be. At least wwe can be governed by UK morons rather than European ones if we leave the EU.


        • 79
          constituency trainbound says:

          so wind the clock back and we would have been better with labour still in power ?


          • anders breivik says:

            we would have been closer to a complete societal breakdown and maybe a civil war. hard to know if that is better or worse than just decades of terminal decline. at least I get to shoot some lefties with the former


        • 108
          Bottom Line says:

          “Maybe just vote UKIP until we are out of the EU.”

          A little after hell freezing over then.


        • 296
          Tom Catesby says:

          The ‘dream’ scenario would be to return sufficient UKIP MPs to put some backbone into the Tories and press for a referendum, in the event of another close run election result like last time. any other result will not give the British people one last chance(and it will be!) to remove the EUSSR shackles. I will be voting UKIP this May and in the GE, if enough of us give it a chance, it could rock the political elite to it’s rotten foundations.


      • 63
        Fruitcake, swivel eyed loon, closet racist and proud of it says:

        And end up with 5 more years of blue labour?

        A vote for a Cameron lead party is not a vote for the conservatives.


      • 68
        Vote UKIP to save Britain says:

        he only sensible vote at the election is UKIP.

        Cameron has promised to throw all government resources at his disposal into committing Britain to the EU for ever more. Cameron’s yes vote will mean adopting the Euro and becoming a federal state of Europe.

        Now is not the time for tactical voting, now is the time to vote for the only party who will save our Country…UKIP.


        • 81
          constituency trainbound says:

          in the EU elections ukip will do well but in the GE whilst many like the idea of change they are incapable of delivering it.


          • Don't waste your Democracy on LibLabCon says:


            LibLabCon are 100% committed to the EU.

            Anyone who wants Britain to remain as a Sovereign Nation only has one option and that is UKIP


          • rick says:

            The argument that a UKIP vote will let Ed in is irrelevant. If either Ed or blue Ed get in despite the Lab/Con record – then the people of this country will truly have the government they deserve. Those who voted UKIP will at least have a clear conscience and will know for certain the country is not worth saving.


        • 106
          Labour is the nasty party. says:

          It does not matter what Cameron thinks .He has given a cast iron guarantee
          for a referendum in 2017 ,If he tried to back pedal on that promise ,he would
          be dead in the water . The only party that can deliver are the Conservatives.


          • It Matters very much. Much Much more than you realise. says:

            Cameron will make sure that there is a yes vote. He has already said so. Referendums are ultimately always won by the government of the day.

            A yes vote will be the Green light to the Europhiles to take Britain deep into the EU, adopting the Euro and signing sovereignty over to a federal state of Europe.

            This matters a LOT. To extract Britain from that will be almost impossible unless there is a war.


          • Labour is the nasty party. says:

            Cameron cannot make sure that it will be a yes vote .He will no doubt
            recommend a yes vote ,but the majority of Conservative Party and a large
            proportion of the British people have had enough of being governed by Europe.
            So the only way to have your say is to vote Conservative at the G.E.


          • The two muppets. says:

            I agree 100% .


          • Check History says:

            The government will win the referendum.

            It’s hard to imagine now but this time 2017 the state financed (and EU financed) propaganda will be intense and very convincing. The people will decide yes.

            To get a No vote, a government propagandising a No vote is required.


          • Fred Haircutz says:

            2017 is to late, I will be voting UKIP in May and 2015, I can’t see any difference between the LibLabCons in anything they do, the country is screwed until we get new politicians, the ones we have in are bankrupt of idea’s that’s why they need the EU to hold their hands and pay their pensions, it’s going to hurt but we are already hurting, with the trash we have in/had in so voting for UKIP is a start, I don’t expect UKIP to be anywhere but in 2020 we will be crying out for a total change


          • thostids says:

            So, if we get a repeat of 2010 and Cameron is head of another coalition Administration, if we don’t get an in/out referendum Cameron is dead in the water?
            And there he’ll go on floating until yet another Statutory Term Parliament drains away.
            If everyone votes UKIP we will get out without having to waste any money on a referendum.


          • Anonymous says:

            Camerons idea of a referendum is insisting Gibraltar get over 65% no matter what each other “region” get, as well as letting every tom, dick & harry take part. Do you really expect anyone to fall for his patronising drivel.


      • 335
        Tom says:

        Why? What’s so frightening about Ed Miliband when he would have quite happily presided over the past four years of Cameron’s policies? And you really want five more years of an emboldened Cameron? I’d actually rather have Miliband.
        It has to be UKIP at the general election.


    • 158
      Mr Tolduso says:

      UKIP would be nowhere, were it not for mass immigration and consequent population growth which is creating a severe social crisis and dislocating GDP growth from personal wealth improvement (i.e unlike in the 1950s a rise in GDP no longer guarantees a rise in prosperity for all our people).

      The Tories have shown themselves not to be a serious party of government.

      People are voting UKIP In desperation. I’ll probably do so myself even though I don’t much rate them as people capable of governing the country.

      I had thought UKIP might garner 10% in a general election. Now I wouldn’t rule out a political earthquake with maybe 50 UKIP Members getting elected. A lot will be down to UKIP – whether they can present a credible team to the nation.


      • 300
        Tom Catesby says:

        Hardly less credible than the conlibliebore shower and people continue to be deluded to vote for them. I genuinely believe the time as come for the British people to show some bravery and make a real change for our children and their childrens’ future.


      • 317
        Good for the goose says:

        A government that refuses to carry out the most basic functions of governance, deserves to be removed as illegitimate.

        After all, was not billy vague, cameron, clegg and the rest of the oligarch scum proposing just that for the Ukraine?


    • 466
      UKIPPER says:

      From and including all the local elections since 6th March 2014 UKIP have contested no less than 25. Of which 19 were contested for their first time by UKIP. Over this period UKIP’s vote share ranged from 8.2% to 28.8%. The average percentage for UKIP over this period is no less than 19.32% and remember these are actual votes cast they are not subject to weightings or other analysis.
      No doubt about it UKIP will cost the Tories many seats in the GE and they are beginning to realise that fact.
      Why on earth would UKIP votes return to the Tories in a GE, that is whishfull thinking on behalf of Cameron and Crosby


    • 467
      UKIPPER says:



  2. 2
    Iain Duncan Smith says:

    Spitting Image Stupid Tory Moron Voters, Nothing Changes, This sketch is as true today as in the 1990s: http://youtu.be/e1l1XGiXgo0


    • 41
      The Growler says:

      Ah, Spitting Image, now whether they have the writers, and impersonators to do a few more series, I am not so sure, there is plenty of material for them nowadays, what with the Gay Tories, back biting etc. maybe in place of puppets they could have animated cartoons but that could be awkward in the fast pace nowadays. It was a shame that it finished when it did, boy in the B’Liar & Broon periods they would have had some real material to go at. Why don’t some enterprising political commentators start a similar show, come on you know the darlings in HoC don’t like it up them. Whoops, ok some do but you get my drift.


    • 180
      M­a­­q­bo­­ul says:

      Stupid? As if Labour is the party of intellectuals. LOL


    • 207
      Jabba Le Chat says:

      Lolz…just think what field a day Spitting Image would have had with Ukip?


    • 394
      how it is says:

      Where were Spitting Image …

      … when Tony Blair started 5 wars

      … invaded Iraq 2 times

      … helped the yanks in torture and rendition

      Spitting image were nowhere to be seen. Wankers.


  3. 4
    Blowing Whistles says:

    To celebrate these pleasing stats there will be no sock puppetry today.


  4. 6
    Blind_leading_the_blind says:

    “…the pressure on Ed will explode and the divisions in his party will come out into the open….”

    That’s no way to talk about “Britain’s first Jewish prime minister” – is this a change of policy, Guido?


    • 61
      the road to serfdom says:

      what about Benjamin D’Israeli?


      • 131
        non taxable pikey says:

        Disraeli converted to Christianity before becoming PM


        • 155
          the true scottish heir says:

          yeah and camilla renounced her catholicism!!!! fuck me ragged you can’t make this shit up. ask yourself why did diana’s brother make the sign of the cross just before he started walking behind her coffin? because he is a catholic and so was diana!!! course the other 4 fuckers walking with him couldn’t be seen to be doing the sign of the cross could they?!

          and they offed diana simply because camilla was always destined to be queen, but the genetics were too close for her and big ears to have sired healthy children so diana got the gig and once used they slotted her.

          my uncle was crippled serving in northern ireland and all for what? for a bunch of inbred genocidal scumbags who pretend not to be catholic. no wonder the fucking i r a wasn’t really for the republic and those that were, well they were managed and offed as and when required.

          quite how they’ve managed to keep a lid on this from the northern irish prots is staggering but mark my words when they do find out and they will find out the monarchy will fucking implode.
          but you e fucking u vermin better not try to march in cos we will kick you c.u.n.t.s to kingdom come.


          • The two muppets. says:

            Why don,t you say what you mean?


          • Bob Geldof says:

            Tin foil hats anyone? Nutjob.


          • NHS helpline says:

            you need to up the meds


          • Anonymous says:

            here at 1:36 minutes the brother of diana makes the sign of the cross- simply put it is a catholic trait.

            camilla married her first husband in a catholic ceremony at guards chapel. both her children and her first husband are roman catholics… she apparently renounced her catholicism. where is the paperwork? sure a member of the royal family can now marry a catholic but when she and big ears got hitched that was not the case.

            catholicism is not the issue for me personally- it is the deceit and the fucking arrogance of thinking those on all sides of the troubles are simply going to steamroller over the memories of those they loved and lost just for the whimsy of a bunch of inbred tossers. and contrary to what the mainstream media would have the masses think a sizable number of scottish protestants fucking loathe the royal family but surprise fucking surprise scottish catholics don’t make an issue about it because they know the real score about william/diana/charles/camilla and that it would be bad for the business of their firms to speak out of line. it is a fucking sick joke. even the i ra is eye ra. that is what it really means.

            and by all means keep shrieking nutjob, i know how many people read the comments sections and most of them never comment aka it is fucking thousands of people and they will be wondering why all of a sudden there has been a big push of labeling people as mentalists who post stuff which is not on message… you c u n t s stick out like a sore thumb. but hey! the things people will do for money! have fun in the future explaining to your grandchildren what you did for a living… they will have so much respect for you.


          • Catholic Unionist says:

            Don’t jam Catholicism, Irishness and Irish nationalism into the same pidgeon hole. You alianate some good people and lose some important allies. God Save the Queen.


          • Anonymous says:

            Camilla is no catholic, only her ex and children. The EU, by the way, is anti catholic, but as the scriptures say, the antichrist shall lead the EU beast and infiltrate the one and only true church to bring evil in the guise of good. The third secret of fatima is suspected to state much the same.


        • 161
          Ishmael Menachem ShwinkelFinkelGruberWeinStein says:

          And I changed my name to John Abbott on arriving in the UK as a ploy aimed at making acceptance by the native Christian population a lot easier.


        • 182
          M­a­­q­bo­­ul says:

          And Milliband converted to Athiesm. Same difference…..

          But has Milliband been CIRCUMCISED? Let’s have it out on the table.


        • 462
          If I were a Welshman, all day long I'd diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle my expenses says:

          Christianity isn’t a genetically-defined ethnicity; Due-ish is.


  5. 7
    The British media are cunts says:

    As usual Sky had fat Polly on this morning and she was moaning away about UKIP and how they are evil and nasty and she couldn’t understand why people voted for them. Well Polly, every time you open your fat gob you add votes to UKIP.


    • 8
      Chancer says:

      I have never, even once, in my life heard anyone comment upon a Polly Toynbee utterance in a complimentary way.
      It’s always that she is full of complete shit.
      Can’t think why she is never off the TV.


    • 65
      the road to serfdom says:

      I watched the Farage documentary last week. It had Yasmin Alibayah Brown on it – almost in tears “how could British people be so awful as to vote for Farage who is clearly a Nazi…” etc etc.

      That was enough for me to vote UKIP. If it upsets that mad, communist, Ugandan hate-monger it will be worth it just for the Schadenfreude.


      • 105
        Jasmin Ali Bongo Broom says:

        YAB is the biggest self hating racist of the lot. She refers to her fellow muslim wimmin, who choose to wear the veil, as ‘bat women’.


        • 133
          road to serfdom says:

          there you go making me think that she could be ok. from wiki

          “Brown previously condemned ethnic minority campaigners against racism failing to mention white victims of racially motivated crimes, suggesting they were guilty of double standards.”

          maybe I’m too quick to judge her

          Vote UKIP


        • 310
          Tom Catesby says:

          If only Idi had eaten her, we would have been spared her TV appearances.


      • 275
        Losing my Goebbels says:

        “how could British people be so awful as to vote for Farage who is clearly a Nazi…”

        If only…


  6. 9
    But UKIP have no policies says:

    How can you consider yourself a serious political party if you haven’t got a long list of Policies which you fail or forget to implement once elected to office.
    People expect broken promises and we in the LibLabCon are damn well going to deliver.


    • 32
      Ex Tory Joe says:

      Yes — and you even legislate for unnecessary and unwanted policies that were not in the manifesto — DAVE’S BUMSEX MARRIAGE LEGACY

      We want that fucking traitor Dave out, whatever the consequences


      • 45
        The Growler says:

        Maybe Javid might just fit your bill then.


      • 101
        Anonymous says:


        You’re the same sad sack of sh*t that keeps posting under different names constantly.


      • 141
        Where are Tony Blair's Expenses says:

        The polls are showing a right of centre vote of 49% more than enough for a serious majority. The only way the Tories can win is to get rid of Cameron and the posh boys and bring in a true Tory manifesto.

        Cameron can’t win in 2015 due to the following

        1. No boundary changes
        2. Corruption within the Postal voting system not resolved
        3. UKIP trending at ~ 15% in the polls; they cost the Tories 20 seats in 2010 with 3% of the vote.
        4. Pilgrims still in position actively campaigning against the Government of the day using taxpayers money
        5. Union education fund is still in place
        6. Cameron’s appalling judgement in appointing Andy Coulson
        7. No TU reform allowing Crow and his mob hold us to ransom
        8. Tory constituency parties are disintegrating in protest at Cameron’s liberal policies
        9. The Tories will lose 7/8 seats along the route of HS2 to single issue candidates
        10. The Tories will lose one seat in Portsmouth due to shipbuilding being concentrated in Scotland
        11. No control of mass immigration
        12. Public spending still out of control and the national debt rising on a daily basis
        13. Human Rights Act still in place
        14. No referendum on Europe
        15. State control of the press introduced
        16. Cameron wanted to take us to war in Syria
        17. Gay Marriage
        18. The BBC is left wing and will act as Labour’s main election campaigner in 2015
        19. QE is destroying any savings people may have
        20. Cameron’s continued, unsubstantiated, support for Climate Change and general green issues.
        21. No promised Bonfire of the Quangos or reduction in Red Tape for businesses
        22. Cameron’s pathetic support for Yeo and Miller. More evidence of his lack of judgement.


      • 397
        Tony B£air says:

        Manifestos are for gays.

        I started 5 wars – none of them were in my manifesto – and you don’t get more serious than war.


    • 98
      Anonymous says:

      Ukip don’t need to have policies. It’s not as if they bother turning up to vote.


      • 281
        Mummy, what's a policy? says:

        UKIP have correctly identified that there’s no point in having any policies, because the public are intelligent enough to notice that no party ever bothers sticking to them, because they never have to.


        • 283
          Ed's Balls says:

          Labour have also spotted that they don’t need any policies either – all they have to do is let out a splenetic squeal at every measure put in place to repair the damage they did to the economy, to maintain a healthy declining 5 point lead 18 months from a general election.


  7. 10
    Kevin B says:

    Let’s start a meme for the euro elections of “kick them all out”. Basically we want to kick out every Lib, Lab and Con MEP in the whole misbegotten european parliament.

    If you’re feeling a bit squeamish about putting a whole lot of ‘loons’ in Brussels, remember that the parliament is nothing but an expensive talk shop which rubber stamps the decisions of the commission and can safely be staffed by muppets for all the good it does.

    So vote for any party other than Lib/Lab/Con and give the lot of them the message. “We’re mad as hell and we’re not going to take it any more!”

    Personally I will be voting UKIP, but if you can’t bring yourself to vote for Nigel and his pals then vote some other party. Monster Raving Loony or SWP or something, though if your tastes run to National Socialism rather than International Socialism, you could vote BNP – though not Green. Never vote for the misanthropic party. You’ll regret it.

    So if someone can do that twitter stuff and set up a hastag kickemallout or something then let’s do this thing.


  8. 12
    Mornington Crescent says:

    How many taxpayer-funded, lard-arsed Labour mongs are going to get out of bed and vote in the Euros? No, seriously? It’ll be a few ‘activitsts’ (innit?) and Must@pha and his 150 postal votes.

    The LibLabCon are farked in these elections. Good.


    • 17
      Chancer says:

      I have a sore back so I was awake during the night. To try and put myself back to sleep I flicked on BBC Parliament where one of Ed’s latest speeches was being repeated. The usual shower of multi culti enrichers were seated strategically behind him clapping enthusiastically at tired play out cliches and soundbites.
      He is third rate, at best.
      So does he think he is kidding, really?


      • 18
        B3 says:

        That would have caused my back to go into spasm. I have to try and stay calm when by back is playing up.


      • 87
        utopia unfound says:

        because hes a politically expedient lightweight lacking original thought in communicating a totally negative vision of the country and it’s future.


    • 286
      Ali Baba and the 40 postal votes says:

      Ooh, can I buy a few off yer?


  9. 14
    nigels parachute says:

    Did nigel evans ever campaign for wrongly accused people to have their legall expenses paid before he himself had legal expences?


    • 33
      Increasingly pissed-off taxpayer says:

      If the cnut was so sure he was innocent, he could have represented himself.

      Absolutely no way should the taxpayers pick up the bill for this Tory bumsexing pervert


  10. 16
    tallbloke says:

    Don’t forget to put a second cross on your ballot paper for your local UKIP candidate.


    • 66
      Fruitcake, swivel eyed loon, closet racist and proud of it says:

      Just as, if not more important than a Euro vote. It’s local representation that is the building block for Westminster.


  11. 19
    Alex the Salmong says:

    One Term Dave doing his level best to let the SNP win in September, his puppet masters will be pleased with his efforts.


  12. 20
    Maria Miller says:

    I managed a personal best with today’s Marathon.

    I managed to watch nearly two hours of it before I turned it off.


    • 23
      Nermal says:

      I was watching the race today, missed Mrs J Dromey in the ladies race also did Miss D Fatbut take part in the hippo run?


  13. 24
    Kim Philby says:

    I have come to the conclusion Clegg and Toynbee are more treacherous to your well being than I was.


  14. 31
    Right Full Rudder says:

    Perhaps Tory backbenchers should make more of a fuss when their party is shitting on everything it ever stood for, rather than just when they look like they might lose their jobs and get ejected from the gravy train at the next election. Then people might take them and their “principles” seriously.


    • 37
      Jacob Mess-Rogg says:

      My colleagues and I haven’t got any principles. We are just self-serving career politicians.

      I was personally strongly against bumsex marriage — but did I resign from the tory Party ? — of course I fucking didn’t.


      • 42
        John RedVulcan says:

        I’ve made a few speeches against Europe but get off the Tory gravy train, haha, you must be fucking joking


        • 50
          thaigirl says:

          Just to be clear here, more Labour MP’s have been prosecuted over the expenses scandal than any other party.


  15. 44
    EU sponsored Army on the move against People of Ukraine says:


  16. 46
    Dromedary says:

    Labour is going to win in 2015 and then all **** is going to let loose. The upside is that we then won’t have a left-of-centre government for decades.


  17. 47
    Grant Schapps says:


    This is an appeal for volunteers to help the Conservative Party with the extra work in the month leading up to the European elections.

    We value diversity, whatever that means, and we are especially keen to attract more of the following communities, which are currently under-represented:

    * Fit, attractive young men who are prepared to do favours for senior male members if the party and shut up about it in return for career advancement.

    * People with accountancy training who are good at massaging expenses forms.

    * Anyone who has a lot of cocaine.

    Please contact me, Grant Schapps, if you think you qualify.


  18. 49
    Why risk AIDS for the sake of the Gay Westminster Elite? says:


    • 58
      Despite sdlp and lefties pretending otherwise.... says:

      Northern Ireland doesn’t want it lifted……


      • 64
        Crazy says:

        Why lift a very sensible ban and risk people’s health for the sake of political correctness.

        Many people are not allowed to give blood for very sensible reasons, why make an exception for Homosexuals who run the very real risk of passing Aids on.


      • 305
        celebrating prejudice and challenging diversity says:

        The crucial difference between NI and Britain is that NI has a very tangible sense of actual community that actually take to the streets and actually don’t take any shit from any government – if only the English could show such solidarity.


    • 72
      Billions in Research to find a cure for self indulgance says:

      A disease treated as if it was a gift from the lord above and those who have been touched by it his angels.
      No the people with HIV and AIDS are on the whole selfish bastards who inject drugs or don’t want to wear a rubber because let’s be fair it feels like fucking but with someone else’s dick.
      Either way easily avoidable if you’re not a selfish self indulgent arse who has no SELF discipline.


    • 78
      Mornington Crescent says:

      If you gayers are ‘just like everyone else’ (or whatever it is you want us to believe), why do you have to keep telling us you’re, er, gayers?


  19. 55
    The Tories are not Tories says:

    The current Conservative party does not have Conservative values.

    How can any party calling themselves Conservatives and Unionists even remotely consider being ruled by Brussels? Even one law imposed on our Sovereign nation is one law too many.


    • 70
      brown-dog says:

      We are all libertarians now!


    • 76
      Now Look Here says:

      I don’t think you’ve quite grasped this ‘selling your country and its population down the river concept in return for a nice little job for life’ that’s played out nowadays.


    • 405
      Major Thrumpington-Woopsie says:

      What you say is true, but I am convinced it is a malady that a damn good horse-whipping administered weekly, would cure.


  20. 59

    Is your party run by gay lords or mongs?

    TORY – Gaylords
    LIBDEM – Mongs
    LABOUR – Mongs and gaylords


  21. 67
  22. 69
    ukipper says:

    We are more likely to return to votinh tory in a general you say? Not ever. No way Pedro. I’d sooner vote monster raving than a camoron led tory party. And im an unreconstructed Thatcherite. Poor article with absurd reasoning.


  23. 71
    I Despair at the standard of our politicians. says:

    Stupid woman on the Brillo show saying that the EU will get all the EU nations’ forces’ equipment working together.

    The stupid bint has no idea that ALL NATO forces already do this and ALL parts have a common NATO stock number and have done for donkey’s years.

    THERE IS NO NEED FOR AN EU ARMY other than for EU empire building reasons.


  24. 73
    Liverpool FC says:

    We would settle for 2-2 right now!


    • 85
      aelf pity premiership winners says:

      They’ll regain the title from Derry now


    • 89
      Ex Footy Fan says:

      Rounded up by men on horses then herded into pens to stand on a cold concrete floor which were sometimes covered in piss.
      No shelter and very little food.
      To add to the excitement you might get kicked by one of the other bovines.
      Football clubs sure knew how to treat a customer back in the 80’s.


  25. 86
    nigels parachute says:

    Its clear that people cant afford both a house and children

    Since shelter is a necessity they will just have to stop breeding


    • 90
      Common sense here is frowned upon says:

      You have spent too much time in the real world.In Britain everything works the other way round.


    • 96
      Rich Uncle says:

      People with children should teach them how to be nicer to their better off relatives without kids. Otherwise I will spend all their potential inheritances on hookers before I die.


  26. 93
    Irony says:

    Ukip politicians are the troughiest of the lot.


    • 97
      You can't have everything but.. says:

      I don’t care. I’d rather vote UKIP than give the time of day to the traitorous tory, labout and libdems mongs.


      • 143
        Potemkin Village says:

        Agreed. I canvassed for the Tories last time, never again. Their kowtowing to Brussels and their craven support for the neocons’ meddling in Syria and the Ukraine were the last straws. BTW, what DO the Yanks have on wee Willie Hague? (innocent face)


    • 138
      Pookie snackumberger says:

      Correction: Mr Liblabcon, the EUSSR is the troughiest of the lot.

      Think £56 million EVERY DAY for starters, and you have no say whatsoever about what they do with it.


    • 269
      Fruitcake, swivel eyed loon, closet racist and proud of it says:

      Yep, Farage sucks every single penny from the EU he can get his hands on and funnels it back into party funds. Terrible isn’t it?


    • 408
      UKIP is the only honourable position says:

      Cry a river you tory arse-bandit. You will never get UKIP votes.
      You are corrupt and a traitor.
      On your knees, when you speak to men of honour.


  27. 94
    nell says:

    I don’t think the eu election in May is going to be an indicator for how the 2015 general election is going to go.

    Even I’m thinking I might, for the first time ever, register a protest vote against the eu by voting ukip in the eu election just to give them all a kicking. But I shall not be voting ukip in the General Election of 2015 – the thought of militwit and balls in no 10 and no 11 fills me with a great sense of dread!


    • 266
      Fruitcake, swivel eyed loon, closet racist and proud of it says:

      And the thought of 5 more years of Cameron & Osborne Nell????


  28. 100
    And she is Right says:


    • 118
      C O (Ξ7p) says:

      The EU is not capable of starting a war.

      R’ussia deployed its forces an annexed Cr!mea: That is what is causing the latest tension. (Also too early to call it a Cold War or Cold War II)


    • 357
      F##k the LibLabCon says:

      She is right, if the EU and US stopped toppling democratically elected governments they don’t like we all would be in this mess in the first place.


    • 475
      Anonymous says:

      Ashton has blood on her hands, how dare she pretend to be British, she is an insult to the human race. Go to hell Ashton. God bless Russia.


  29. 101
    nigels parachute says:

    How can something that is against the law be permissable on mumbo jumbo grounds?

    Would we let muslims mistreat children if it was a diktat of their religion?


  30. 104
    The EU High Representative Baroness Catherine Ashton and Pig Trougher says:


  31. 107
    nigels parachute says:

    I don’t mind people not voting ukip in the next general election

    so long as they don’t vote for anyone else

    Ukip or abstaining is the way to get our feelings through to them


  32. 110
    albacore says:

    Voting Tory because you always have
    Or frit Labour will flush you down the lav
    Defies what you see with your eyes and brain
    With either we’re headed right down the drain
    After decades where’s their explanation
    For no E U vote and 1mm1grati0n?


  33. 113
    Cabbage says:

    Return to the Tories for more astronomical tax rates and punishment of success? No thanks.


    • 119
      Reduced to a Parish Council status says:

      Once Dave wins the EU referendum with the Yes vote, then general taxation will no longer be the remit of a British Chancellor anyway.


  34. 121
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Comment of the day in the Telegraph, re the article on more UN climate change crap:

    “Heat your home with a windmill, become a vegan, take up homosexuality for population control and always vote socialist.


    But you first.”


  35. 124
    EU Funded Pro-EU Troll says:

    Vote UKIP


  36. 127
    Breaking News. The Baroness Ashton is Deeply Concerned. says:



  37. 134
    Edmaria Millerband says:

    Do you mean the party of shirkers, parasites and free-loaders will win in May!
    Why don’t the Tories push home this message about Labour continuously!


    • 135
      Taxpayer says:

      Because Dave’s mob are exactly the same. Perhaps one day we’ll have a Conservative Party to vote for but while we have Dave’s liberal ponces then a vote for liblabcon is the same however you vote. High taxes, state control & the nanny state.


  38. 136
    Ah! Dick says:

    Ed Davey: World’s Climate Is ‘On A Prepuce’


  39. 139
    C O (Ξ7p) says:

    Europe should get ready for major interruptions to gas supply coming in from the east.

    It also does not help when re-affirming your right to sovereignty if the political will is not strong enough to keep the police on side:

    Something the UK had a flavour of during the recent L’ondon riots…


    • 145
      Pro Russian thugs = rioters...Pro EU thugs = freedom fighters. says:

      So it was OK when the pro EU protestors did exactly the same in Kiev and brought down a democratically elected leader then.

      Of course it was because those thugs were thugs openly orchestrated, motivated and financed by the EU and covertly by the USA.


      • 160
        C O (Ξ7q) says:

        Credible proof ? :-)


        • 172
          Dante says:

          Just check out the EU’s expansionary policies/land grabs for the past 20 years. Even a thickhead like you should not need any further proof.


          • C O (Ξ7q1) says:

            If you can provide an example where the EU sent in covert forces to coerce the government, and then hold a referendum at gun point in order to annex then you have a case.

            I do not agree myself with the way that the EU operates, but there is a fundamental difference in modus operandi here, that R’ussia is keen to obfuscate.

            If you cannot you will have to admit that you have no proof for your assertion against the EU.

            Incidentally, even the US, with its conflicts, has not actually annexed any territory for quite a while now.


          • C O (Ξ7q1) says:

            Assuming you will start to address NATO expansionism next, the following document from NATO helps to set the record straight against the distortions the K’remlin has been putting out:



      • 229
        MagicFlute says:

        Why the powers that be in the EU thought it a good idea to attract yet another chronically poor country into the fold of the EU is beyond me, with no thought of the consequences.


    • 152
      Victoria Nuland & Ann Applebaum says:

      Do give it a rest C O (Ξ7p). The evidence of the US neocon’s providing financial, logistical and military support to Stepan Bandera’s bastard offspring in West Ukraine is overwhelming, and entirely consistent with their paranoid politic. Putin is showing considerable forbearance, so far.


      • 166
        C O (Ξ7q) says:

        Hardly, but a very well dressed straw man you present.


        • 195
          The British Public says:

          And what a transparent war-monger you present. Either go and start your one-man WW3 on iour own or give it a rest.


          • C O (Ξ7q1) says:

            You are missing the point that R’ussia appears to be intent on starting WWIII at present.

            Would keep an eye on the B’altics and R’omania.


          • Richard Head says:

            What you think, is irrelevant.
            Putin does not care.
            And neither do we.


      • 193
        Crush the EU says:

        He’s stuck in a permanent cold war time warp. The West = good, East = bad bullshit. May have worked decades ago, may even have been largely true. But we live in a different era now, facing a whole host of very nasty problems, almost all caused by our own greedy, corrupt and criminal ruling elites, of both left and right.

        It is now the west that is drowning in ideology. In yer face, 24/7, the all pervasive drip, drip, drip of PC state dogma and propaganda.

        By contrast, Russia seems mercifully free of ideology these days.

        Somewhere between the Berlin wall coming down and the present, East and West appear to have swapped places.


        • 199
          BRAVO says:


          Could not have put it better.


          • give £3/month for ummm...Cheers easy... says:

            1 it doesn’t feel like we are on the side of “right”
            Would feel proud to have a leader with balls…
            Unfortunately we only have one pair of Balls…and neither of them are leaders!


        • 218
          C O (Ξ7q1) says:

          There is an ideology at play in R’ussia, but it is not that of L’enin.


        • 418
          Man bites dogma says:

          Putin is a rat-faced murderer.
          Cameron is a spoon faced arse-bandit.
          Miliband is a mong-faced mong.

          There is dogma everywhere, the only choice you need to make, is whether you will vote for what you believe in.

          I will not vote tactically, I will not vote from fear, I’m voting UKIP, come rain or shine.


    • 477
      Anonymous says:

      Please seize the rat infested parliament we have, in a couple of weeks, string the traitors up.


  40. 147
    Not so out of touch says:

    Keep on deluding yourself, Guido. Your mate Cameron is toast. He is finished. One term Dave. Lover of gay marriage. Lover of the EU. Lover of borrowing (just like Labour) and doubling the national debt. Lover of foreign depsots who he furnishes with tax payers money under the guise of ‘foreign aid’. Lover of going to war just like his hero Blair.

    Keep on deluding yourself, Guido.


    • 156
      C O (Ξ7p) says:

      Cameron is finished for many reasons, but Tory party funding by R’ussia with the obviously subversive implications may prove his final Waterloo.

      Narrow escape of the material found on a work machine – but who knows what skeletons reside in what looks like a double whammy of L’obby and E’xpenses scandal ?

      In the real world, U’kraine’s Tuchinov has authorized deployment of ground forces in the East…


      Signifies a significant deterioration in the situation, but is the next step for U’kraine.


    • 159
      C O (Ξ7q) says:

      C’ameron is finished for many reasons, but funding by R’ussia with the obviously s’ubversive implications may prove his final W’aterloo.

      The real question is just what his involvement was with that, and what actual damage has it caused.

      Narrow escape with the material found on a work machine – but who knows what skeletons reside in what looks like a new double w’hammy of L’obby and E’xpenses scandal ?

      In the real world, U’kraine’s T’uchinov has authorized deployment of ground forces in the East.

      A significant deterioration in the situation.


      • 175
        The British Public says:

        The Crimea is Russian. What goes on in the Ukraine is nothing to do with Britain. We have no vital naiotnal interests there. Stop war-mongering.


      • 179
        Fred Haircutz says:

        Do give up, Camoron and his idiot can’t spell Putin, Camoron is run by your paymasters in the EU and only does what he’s told, just like Syria , he was ready to bomb them back into the stone age which they are still trying to leave, when the people of this country told him to get fcked and keep out of another countries problem, your EU is the problem, with it’s little Nappies and Hilters wanting to expand their power


        • 192
          C O (Ξ7q1) says:

          You may want to find out why P’rivate E’ye are running stories like this then:



          • The British Public says:

            No-one here is interested in starting a war. Move to Poland and try it there.


          • Fred Haircutz says:

            Any decent Private Eye stories are a thing of the past, Hislop is part of the Establishment and the BBC and he’s taken Private Eye from what you could believe in to something like most of the newspapers, something you use to put on the floor of your budgies cage.


          • Free born John says:

            I wonder how we would like it if Russia started poking its nose into Ulster?

            Poking our noses into the Crimea is equally daft and equally as offensive.

            Let’s hope real patriots from America to Europe can seize back control of their countries from the authoritarian globalist scumbags.

            The Bundy Ranch stand off victory is a good start.


          • balaclava and ballot box says:

            into the valley of death rode the 650…


  41. 157
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Well, I say, Dave, these gay friends of yours are such models of good behaviour, aren’t they, darling?



    • 170
      Normal Guy says:

      I shall not be voting for the Conservative Party. They are a bunch of decadent troughers and perverts.


      • 210
        Mornington Crescent says:

        Much more of this filth (and I fear there is) and Norks’ and Dorries’ indiscretions will start to look distinctly tame.

        And yet…

        …what if…

        …just what if these MPs who claim to “represent” us just stuck to shagging their spouses and, failing that, kept their groins in their own pants?


        • 375
          Phone Apps Mean MPs Are No Longer Needed says:

          I have decided I no longer think the House of Parliament is worth reforming or keeping. Better to simply abolish it, put them all in prison and start again with a diferent model of direct democracy altogether.


    • 171
      C O (Ξ7q) says:

      F’abricant repeatedly warned, was ignored, and then strangely fired last week.

      This looks suspiciously like he was promoted to keep him quiet, and fired when it was clear he would stand on principal once this started to come out.

      Oh – and maybe some sour grapes over representing his constituents aversion to HS2 tearing up L’ichfield.


    • 173
      C O (Ξ7q1) says:

      F’abricant repeatedly warned, was ignored, and then strangely fired last week.

      This looks suspiciously like he was promoted to keep him quiet, and fired when it was clear he would stand on principal once this started to come out.

      Oh – and maybe some sour gr’apes over representing his constituents aversion to HS2 tearing up L’ichfield.


      • 185

        Have been tied up today so will just repost this:

        Another interesting link from Pulitzer but they have undercooked it in one area.

        When they say “Plutonium’s half-life is 24,110 years”, that is from averaging the isotopes.
        Plutonium-240 is 6,600 years
        Plutonium-239 is 24,000 years
        By comparison
        Uranium-234 is 250,000 years
        Uranium-235 is 700 million years
        Uranium-238 is 4.5 billion years

        I know they are independently set up but they may be getting some feed on this from the state as part of the “let’s make ourselves look good” game.

        Take your geopolitics differences point. To a certain extent that was my point too. The dynamic is very different to the 80s/90s. Putting this stuff out of reach is clearly the best path but if-and-only-if everyone is playing the same game.

        Sorry not to have enough time to respond to more of the points as it is an interesting area but I have to speak to my aged mother and she does wish to wait for another 4.5 billion years! :-)


        • 211
          C O (Ξ7q1) says:

          On inspection – if they averaged the isotopes, then the average would be much lower than 24k years with their numbers. :-)

          The 24100 is the accepted number for Pu239.


          What is important is that it is dangerous to handle (spontaneously ignites), fixes in the bones and is an alpha emitter, generally decaying to an isotope of Uranium. None of that is good for humans.

          There are other articles about btw on the K test sites: The real point of it was that the underground tunnels which contain the fissile material were sealed shut with major help by US engineers at a time when metal thieves were stealing the irradiated copper wiring on other parts of the sites.

          Much of that stolen iffy metal is embedded in Ch!nese apartment buildings now.

          I am not diametrically opposed to your point on negotiation btw, but at present with the tone set by R’ussia, there is no negotiation happening. In fact on that issue, all of the hard work was done years ago (academically, politically and diplomatically) so there is no reason to revisit.

          The US has proven that conventional weapons – particularly the BLU munitions – can achieve in combat what many would assume you would need nukes for, placing nuclear weapons strategically in the deterrence basket. My own point of view is that DU should be considered in the same category, and its use limited: But arms control is predicated on total destructive power, not collateral effects.

          R’ussia probably does want tactical nukes back on the agenda – wrongly – with the argument that they are no longer a strategic concern in the East as you suggested. (Much of this propaganda is being put out through the media…)

          Hopefully I have pointed out enough to explain why that would be strategically in their favour, especially if they are of a mind to provoke conflict through covert means.

          It also should be clear why their rhetoric about reducing the US to nuclear ash is in fact so far off the mark as to be warranting a national straight jacket and padded gulag for those who harbour those kind of thoughts.

          The geopolitical dynamic is only temporarily different – while the post-modernist West wakes up from its trance. Happening quite quickly now.

          You may find this video interesting:


        • 273

          Time precluded me from suggesting that the isotope half life had probably been weighted in some way but hell, it is a long time!

          I have this wacky thought that the Qinghai-Tibet Railway may be the only man-made structure visible from the Moon at night…

          Quite right about the strategic aspect of START/New START implicit in their titles anyway. It leaves a large amount of material open to theft. The ideal solution would surely be to assemble these in secure dumps not too far from the Russian border as counters to be bargained away. They could be sealed rather like the Titan Missile Museum, south of Tucson AZ. It would then put visible public pressure on the Russians to respond. We live in an era of tokenism so it just might just catch on – on both sides.

          Padded gulag! Liked that one.

          The BLU approach is one which was science fiction a generation ago but it is an interesting development and apparently highly effective. There is much we don’t know here and I wonder how far the Russians, or for that matter even more the Chinese, have progressed along this path, if at all. One might watch the Indians on this one too. They do have the brains for this type of thing.

          I have no actual disagreement with what you say. It is not the efficacy, or otherwise, of tactical nuclear arms which concerns me. It is the ability to use their existence to bring about a better solution. Would not want to see that thrown away. Hence my original reference to your Einstein quotation.

          Had seen that excellent video a while back. You set me off and I ended up watching about five of them which means I have not done everything I should have done today. :-)


          • C O (Ξ7q1) says:

            Sorry for interrupting your day with the vid.

            The existence of tactical nukes would fail to bring about better solutions. Opinion on that matter is pretty much settled on both sides as far as the analysts / policy + military bods are concerned. In the US, the politicians also ‘get it’ in this sense.

            It is still a very worthwhile exercise to revisit and debate to remind oneself why it is a bad idea, and how the politics of nuclear weapons work.

            Another failed proposal from the USSR back in the 60’s – remember the peaceful nuclear explosions program ?


            The use of nuclear weapons to create reservoirs etc. was a dead end, as the resulting comprehensive test ban treaty later confirmed. Problem is that the fallout and fission products left over from the blast create too much pollution.

            If a weapon with equivalent blast yield could be created which did not create the radiological contamination, despite the loss of life associated with their use, a conflict with such weapons would take place.

            The closest that currently exists are the thermo-baric weapons, and there are moves to try and have them reclassified as WMD. The US is resisting that as it knows that placing such weapons in the same category as nukes would reduce the incentive for states to pursue that cheaper / safer technology in favour of nukes.

            R’ussia’s actions against Cr!mea have certainly not helped the case of those who advocate the NPT, and a much broader consensus about nuclear weapons has been put back decades. :-(


          • Ockham's Razor says:

            Bloody hell!

            I want one of those. I could sink all Abramovich’s fleet with that…


          • Anonymous says:

            Having seen at first hand one of the true primary purposes of the SR-71 I can say that basically it has capabilities that defy the laws of known physics. No doubt the tech has been enabled on more modern aircraft as well. The real danger is from homemade and indeed professional suitcases- No warning, no way of knowing where they are. Kaboom. And what is truly frightening is how fucking easy it is to make a dirty bomb. Obviously I ain’t so subversive that I would put it on the net or indeed tell anyone but frankly it is piss simple and the ingredients (other than the explosive) can be pilfered simpler than taking candy from a baby.

            Unlike some of my more usual posts that ain’t any exaggerated spiel either.


          • Ludwig Wittgenstein (homosexualist) says:

            What, exactly, do you mean by obvious?


          • Roger More than you says:

            I’ve got a dirty bum, and that ain’t any exaggerated spiel either.


          • 940 poster says:

            Obvious in the sense the longer I can manage to not get my head stoved in by the Specials the longer I can osmotically provide intelligence they don’t want you fuckers to know about. But it doesn’t come highlighted in bright fucking neon with big pointy arrows. If I told anyone whatsoever how to make a dirty bomb it would be counterproductive to me and more importantly everyone else who is against “them”.


      • 219
        Mornington Crescent says:

        F’abbers is a prat but, ‘malgré tout’, he’s straight, reasonably monogamous, doesn’t overdo it too often on the sauce and sp’eaks up for his constituents.

        No future for people like him in the Tory party – or, indeed, in politics.

        I weep.


  42. 164
    Bag for life says:

    Why can’t we do to the EU what Putin hopes to do to Ukraine?


  43. 176
    A typical commenter here says:

    Bumsex bumsex bumbandits bumbandits!!! We really hate bumsex but for some strange reason we can’t stop talking about it in every thread all day every day! Bumsex bumsex bumbandits bumbandits!!!


    • 187
      Fred Haircutz says:

      I like to call them homosexuals, it’s what they are, rainbow flags and gay are just symbols they have taken over to pretend they are not homosexuals, one day the politicians will ban the word homosexual just like all the words they think are racist.


    • 227
      Right Full Rudder says:

      Well it is a site about British politicians. Of course bumsex comes up and comes up often.


      • 233
        Lord Boothby, now deceased says:

        Luckily, my good friend Maggie turned a blind eye to my private exploits. What times I had at the Kray brothers’ house parties. Boys galore. And when a paper was about to expose me, I got my friends to put the frighteners on them. We couldn’t have honourable family man Lord Boothby exposed as a kiddy fiddling pervert! Not Lord Boothby, Tory statesman and vocal opponent of deviant bumboys!


        • 329
          the fred and rose west video club says:

          i guess those pics of young lads shitting on his face are priceless. or was it his chest? meanwhile one has been pondering the notion that thatcher knew what was going to happen at brighton but stayed stumm and safe away from the damage because of the promotional value. nevermind about tebbit’s missus hey! and they reeled the poor old fucker out for kid’ll fix it’s funeral probably to keep the cosh on him from speaking out about all the cabinet fiddlers.

          just for the matter of balance i recognize fully that both the labour party and the libdems have been and probably still are full of them too. the sick irony of politicians spieling out fear based rhetoric that your kids are gonna be swept away by some lone deranged pervert when it is them and those special rings festered with pigs and beaks and social workers and council reps who are the true vampires.


    • 311
      Jack Straw man says:

      If you criticise someone, it means you secretly want to be like them


      • 332
        jackov dromerderey says:

        king dong was a proper arsehole.


      • 365
        ketamine catamite says:

        (this is the schoolboy argument countless lefties wheel out when trying to do a typical personalised counterattack any criticism of sexual deviants)


  44. 188
    Britain's Got Crap says:

    What a shower of shit. And the chav audience on the show are easily impressed. Someone holds a tune and they scream and whoop like he or she’s Frank Sinatra. And don’t get me started on Amanda Holden’s frozen expressionless botoxed face.


  45. 200
    This is what you want says:

    Since some of you can’t stop talking about gays and gay sex, here’s something you’ll enjoy.


    • 216
      Bag for life says:

      Where’s the bloody modbot?


      • 220
        This is what you want says:

        Enjoying it that much? We all know what you right wing boarding school educated types get up to when you tell your wives you’re off to the private members club. They don’t know what type of members you’re talking about. Isn’t that right, Crispin Blunt?


    • 330
      all this gay stuff is like listening to gordon says:

      why bother posting this stuff


  46. 202
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Why is the EU so laughably bad at everything?. Next they will have to ask Mr Putin “please can we have some energy Sir”.


    • 222
      C O (Ξ7q1) says:

      ‘Why is the EU so laughably bad at everything?’

      – Because there is no political consensus or Union. This was warned about back when the monetary union was launched.


      • 231
        Blue Peter Goldfish says:

        The warning signs came with there policy on fishing quotas, catch them but then throw them back dead, a masterpiece of commercial and environmental doom.


        • 270
          Podiceps says:

          Earlier than that. Remember the butter mountain and the beef mountain?

          My father saw part of the beef mountain. The beef was hanging in a refrigerated store, where it had been for years. It had gone green and was clearly quite beyond eating, but the rules kept it lingering on.

          And around 1990 some of the butter mountain was released for sale, as concentrated butter with the water removed to make it last longer. A friend of mine bought some and used it to make a large batch of shortbread. It tasted monumentally rancid.


  47. 212
    A proud hetero says:

    Why can’t we return to the good old days when we had decent hetero Thatcherites like Harvey Proctor, Leon Brittan and Lord Boothby? Maggie never stood for any funny business. She only had straight family men in her government, like her speechwriter Derek Laud.


  48. 221
    Prime Minister"The Dunce Of Downing Street" Cameron says:

    There two things that people do,and will never admit to… 1. Is Wanking and 2. Is Voting Tory, I would never admit to Voting Tory.


  49. 224
    Incapable Vince, deputy Chief Cockroach says:



  50. 225
    Tory party conference hotel meeting says:


    • 230
      R. Spandit says:

      Where’s Cwis Bwyant when you need him ?


      • 236
        Cwis Bwyant says:

        Busy taking selfies in my Y-fronts, duckie.


      • 239
        Harvey Proctor says:

        I don’t know. Have you asked Alan Duncan? Or Nigel Evans, Crispin Blunt, Derek Laud, Michael Portillo, Peter Lilley, Margot James or Leon Brittan?


        • 245
          Right Full Rudder says:

          I asked Ron Davies but he said he had to go out and look for badgers by a well known cottaging spot.


          • Harvey Proctor says:

            Talking of Ron, I just bummed into him. Sorry, I mean bumped into him. Crispin and Alan were there too. It was a cross party cottaging.


          • Lord McAlpine says:

            Boys boys boys
            They gave me such a good time


    • 423
      The Clinic says:

      Trying to persuade men to be gay is even more stupid than trying to make gay men be straight.

      You need medication.


  51. 228
    Drunk Tory MP says:

    Mad about the boy
    I know it’s stupid to be mad about the boy


    • 234
      19 year old Tory intern says:

      OWWWWW Can’t you take it YOWWWWWW a bit slower Mr Clarke AGHHHHHHHHH this is my first YEEEEEEEEOOOOOWWW time you know. Now you did say EEEEEEEEEHHHHHH that I’ll get to be a SpAd OOOOOOOOWWWWWW after this, didn’t yoOOOOOOOOOHHHHH.

      Has anyone got any cold cream please and perhaps a cushion?


    • 244
      Blue Peter Goldfish says:


  52. 232
    Ed visits the holy land says:


  53. 235
    UKIP or bust says:

    Fcuk the EU:

    The accumulation of all powers, legislative, executive, and judiciary, in the same hands, whether of one, a few, or many, and whether hereditary, selfappointed, or elective, may justly be pronounced the very definition of tyranny.”

    ― James Madison


  54. 242
    Right Full Rudder says:

    Given that homosexuals seem to be running the country, can we stop hearing them moan about “homophobia” and how hard they have it anymore please?


    • 249
      Harvey Proctor says:

      I love having it hard. Maggie was sorry to see me go. She loved all the loyal gayboys who served her. That’s the funny thing about Maggie and Norman. They hated bumboys but there was no shortage of them working for her. Isn’t that right, Derek Laud, Leon Brittan, Peter Lilley, Michael Portillo, Alan Duncan, Crispin Blunt and Lord Boothby?


    • 253
      Me says:

      “how hard they have it”. Heh, heh.


  55. 243
    Harvey Proctor says:

    Macho macho man
    I’ve got to be a macho man


  56. 248
    Marc Almond having his stomach pumped says:

    Well that’s the last time I go anywhere near a Tory conference.


  57. 251
    Harvey Proctor says:

    As John Major said, it’s time to return to those old core values. It’s time to go back to basics.

    Now bend over.


  58. 257
    The British media are cunts says:

    BBC shirt lifters wanking on about climate change AGAIN. He’s a fact. It’s alright switching from coal or gas to windmills, but you go cost how much it will take to rip out your gas central heating and replace it with electric storage heaters oh and you’ll probably need a hot water tank with an immersion heater as well.

    You won’t get any change out of 10K for an average house. No one ever points this out but if you challenge the greenies on it they will admit that it’s what will have to happen.


    • 265
      Harvey Proctor says:

      Talking of shirt lifters, fancy a visit to my menswear store? Plenty of shirts there for you to lift, duckie.


    • 267
      Fred Haircutz says:

      It seems windmills are just growing by the side of the road and all you have to do is remove them to where you want them, it appears the energy to produce the steel and copper and the energy to turn both into a tower and the windings of the generator and the energy required to remove this material to site on land and sea and connect the power grid and keep maintained and the damage to the land and the seabed after they have finished using this sh1t isn’t taken into account by the loons and the universities with their hands out wanting vast amounts government money to draw hockey sticks and try to scare us in believing the trash with BBC and advertising campaigns.


    • 379
      Chairman of the Maoist Trust says:

      All the beeb have to do is convince the Chinese to become gay, and global warming is over! yay for gay! /


  59. 272
    C O (Ξ7q1) says:

    Oh dear: Looks like some odious parts of history are repeating.


    • 282

      All very Slavic. We have been here before.

      Earlier, I made a scurrilous suggestion that a certain Mr Barner may have been polishing his own legacy by leaking to Pulitzer Center.

      It was a good article for sure and the effort did start way back in GW’s first term, possibly even with that guy who didn’t inhale.

      Do you think it is really too awful of me to make such suggestions? I want to know how much sackcloth to order…


      • 294
        C O (Ξ7q1) says:

        No – it is worth testing the propaganda of both sides, and Barry is not really an angel in that respect.

        For scurrilous though: Check out P’tins recent wrapping of himself in the cloth of the R’ussian O’rthodox C’hurch, and his desire to see the T’hird R’ome established.

        Then note that he has turned guns on fellow O’rthodox C’hristians in E’ast U’kraine on P’alm S’unday of all days.

        Seriously, you couldn’t make it up.


        • 301
          the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

          yes you could


        • 303

          Ah! But they are the wrong type of Christian…

          Christians have killed more Christians than all other groupings combined.

          I see also that you are not the historical slouch you once portrayed yourself to me as. ;-)

          How did you ever get the time to do any banking? :-D


    • 304
      Everyone says:

      Fuck off van Rompuy.


      • 436
        Pope Frankie the 97th says:

        All Devil Dodgers are a pain.

        Whenever there is one about make sure your money stays in your pocket.


  60. 293
    Katie Boyle says:

    Euro results 1963 Eurovision porn style:

    And here are the MEP seats for the Liberal Democrat party:

    Liberal Democrats no points
    Liberal Democrat nil pointes


  61. 302
    Peter Mandelson says:

    The first rule of Sodomite Club is YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT SODOMITE CLUB.


  62. 313
    EU Applications are .... says:

    If Scotland go independent and have to re(?) apply for EU membership surely England, Wales and Northern Island, who can’t be called UK anymore, will have to reapply WENI or NIWE or ? ; but it can’t be called UK.


  63. 327
    Michael Gove says:

    David Cameron must end ‘dirty protest” at PMQ’s.


  64. 333
    A side order of boobs says:

    Watching an edition of Undercover Boss USA about a chain of sports bars where the girls wear open shirts and plaid bras as their uniform. Cleavage galore. Why can’t we have a chain like this here? The PC brigade would probably have a fit but so what?


  65. 340
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Incumbent politico having TV debate = lose



    • 391
      Anonymous says:

      cum and bent and politician and in rather than out.

      they lose simply because the nature of the game is one of deceit. where once they controlled the collective throbbing mind of the masses that is no longer. thank you world wide web. one vote every five years or as many or as little vote as you want to represent yourself? a no brainer and that is the future… but as the dyke observed turkeys don’t vote for christmas, and other than a promised look into the concept of e-voting in 2016 there is nowt on the radar- not even some enterprising open sources prepared to create and launch a true you gov style entity. one where individuals of each and every constituency could truly opine its wishes and let their mp know how they want the vote on each and every issue to be. and that 2016 e-vote research discussion will probably only focus on the notion of people being able to vote online at general elections aka no real difference.

      privy council members are administered an oath of allegiance to the monarch (as are plod upon reaching the rank of chief superintendent) thus the reality is we are living in and have always lived in a dictatorship. and one look at the scum on beeb news proves it they are no different really than the stiffs we see dolling out news on north korean television.

      the only reason we have a welfare system has been for the moral highground whilst british canon fodder has been used to pilfer the natural resources of other countries. ditto the reason we have had exotic skinned people welcomed here to live over the years is it a kind of plausible deniability aka look how well we treat our own people and indeed foreigners from less fortunate countries those taxpayer fiunded bombs of freedom we are raining upon your land are sent with the most honourable intent.

      and it is those 650 spivs in the house of commons who perpetuate the ruse. and that is why they basically get to do what the fuck they like as long as they puppet as directed and those brave few that try to expose end up deaded trussed in ladies frillies and gaffer tape.

      god save our gracious quuen long live our noble queen… fuck the notion of god save our gracious nation long live its noble subjects/citizens… just save and long live one inbred genocidal maniac who believes they have a divine right to make decisions as to who lives and who dies.

      and yeah living in a republic wouldn’t be much better either. but we have the internet and that gives us the ability to represent ourselves in terms of governance and in matters of barter. and it will happen and the new order won’t be the totalitarian everyone implanted with a microchip monstrosity they are trying to implement.

      it is our planet not theirs and their laws are fake and the money they create gets fashioned out of thin air. plato nailed it with his analogy of the cave. and the modern version of that is one where the flames of the fire is the constant lick of fear- be it television news, soap operas, reality shows. the delightful wail of emergency services, cctv everywhere (for your safety) health and safety, you know the score fear is all we hear and see and those dodgy towelheads living next door to you who actually are quite sweet well you know they might, maybe, possibly, be plotting your demise!!! but on the other hand diversity is great!!! so if you speak out of turn you’re scum. (but phone this terror hotline number in the strictest confidence if you suspect anything). divide and conquer both outer and inner.

      tl;dr? (too long didn’t read) yeah well that is the problem all these opinions all this mass and mess on the internet all that porn all that divide and conquer again and again and again.

      it must be delightful for those oh so fucking royal highnesses to go to bed at night knowing they’ve basically ruined this entire fucking planet and made the lives of untold millions profoundly miserable… and ditto politicians. there is nothing sentient or living about you vermin. you’re the beasts of the beast.


  66. 342
    Null hypothesis says:

    Isn’t it great to see a Guido graph with its axes on zero?

    Oh. It isn’t one of his.


  67. 347
    LibLabCon=in UKIP=out says:


  68. 353
    Labour to restore the tax they imposed for 2 weeks out of their 13 year rule says:


  69. 362
  70. 370
    T.B£iar - the People's Messiah says:




  71. 372
    Dizzy says:


  72. 377
    Incapable Vince, deputy Chief Cockroach says:




    • 385
      Paddy Pantless says:

      all the more reason to oust all their MEPs and cut off their oxygen supply ASAP, and bring on the electoral earthquake this country has been screaming out for, for so long.

      No more false dawns – end the LibDems; end Labour; end the Tories – bring them all down!


  73. 381
    Misanthrope says:

    Fuck everyone.


    • 387
      Flat cap says:

      Fuck me!


      • 400
        Dictionary Dave says:

        Amazing word is “fuck”; adjective, verb, noun, adver

        Surprise; fuck Me!
        Anger; Fuck You!
        Frustration; Fuck That!
        Loyalty; My boss is fucking good
        Disloyalty; My boss is a fucker
        Wishful Thinking; I’d really like to fuck her
        Reality bites – Fucking Labour have fucked me again

        Some famous quotes
        king harold – watch that Hunt, he’ll have some fucker’s eye out
        Roosevelt 7/12/41 – fucking jap bastards
        Hiroshima mayor – what the fuck was that?
        BBC – we are fucked without the TV Poll Tax


        • 424
          Sir Richard Mottram, the civil servant in charge of Stephen Byers's department says:

          We’re all fucked. I’m fucked. You’re fucked. The whole department’s fucked. It’s been the biggest cock-up ever and we’re all completely fucked.


          • Sir Richard Mottram, the civil servant in charge of Stephen Byers's department says:

            The department, run by this Labour minister, also employed Jo Moore, best known for her memo which said:

            “It is now a very good day to get out anything we want to bury. Councillors expenses?”

            referring to the day when 3,000 people were murdered by moslem terrorists on 11-Sep-2001, in New York.


  74. 382
    She came to see Ed says:


    • 384
      Leon Brittan says:

      Has Nick Clegg had a DBS check?


    • 388
      Cyril Brittan says:

      You can always tell when a poltician is doing badly – they spend a lot of time hanging around children


      • 396
        First Class Air Ticket says:

        And poncing around on the world stage; anything to avoid going home and facing the music. they may even get to line up a new Charity/UN/EUSSR/WonkTank non-job with a huge expense account.

        They also jump on the Global warming bandwagon and promise to raise taxes; daft bastards have yet to figure out that the opposite will win more votes. Ask Tony Abbott.


  75. 389
    Gunnery Sgt Hartman says:

    I don’t know but I’ve been told
    Eskimo pussy is mighty cold


  76. 398
    Nick Clegg, homœopathic wannabe prime minister says:

    Bugger all on telly again. Wish they’d show my favourite film – “Vanishing Point”.


  77. 414
    C O (Ξ7q1) says:


    • 435
      All in this together says:

      Innocent Ukrainians are dead this morning and according to Barry their killers were Russians.

      What has Cameron done in the last 12 hours to protect our security ?


    • 483
      Kulak betrayed by Marxist dew. says:

      Arrrh daddy and granddaddy Milibands porn collection.
      Didn’t the scum go to the funeral of an Apologist and Supporter of these Murders ?
      You must be top quality Kulak killing Christian Murdering NKVD loving Family. If your Great Aunt was one of Joe Stalin’s translators having gone to school with his daughter.


  78. 419
    Midlands Rebel says:

    Given that Osborne has continued with Labour’s economic policies – WhyTF did we bother voting last time?
    Until there’s a UKIP influenced government, the GE is a choice of three socialist tax’n’splash parties or UKIP.


    • 427
      C O (Ξ7q1) says:

      It is strange, but I remember in the Bla!r years people saying something similar about continuity Thatcher / Major economic policy.

      Osborne has made some reductions, and ceased expansion (which counts as a reduction…) but will not start shrinking the size of the civil service in a year before a GE which is what needs to happen in order to really change direction.


  79. 428
    C O (Ξ7q1) says:

    This by H’itchens is interesting:


    To summarize: It is shameful that the Q’ueen was forced to give !rish terrorists a blowjob in W’indsor.

    It is shameful.


    • 440
      Blue Peter Goldfish says:

      Poor guy outside protesting in a moderate way, his daughter was blown to pieces in UK pub bombings, then Rolls Royce drives up and deposits a mass murderer for tea with the Queen.


    • 442
      Blue Peter Goldfish says:

      Poor guy outside protesting in a moderate way, his daughter was blown to pieces in UK pub bombings, then Rolls Royce dr*ves up and deposits a mass murderer for tea with the Queen.


  80. 432
    non taxable pikey says:

    Clegg’s big plan to put more people into the overcrowded southeast should drop a few more percentage points for the Libdumbs.


  81. 433
    Taxfodder says:

    “UKIP voters are more likely to return to the Tories”

    A crude sweeping statement that is WRONG!

    The chart fails to take into account “if they don’t vote for Farage they won’t vote at all” segment which is huge.

    “some disenchanted Tories with a grudge may return” most won’t


    • 434
      Long John Silver's parrott says:

      I am not very interested in these opinion polls.

      What I want to know is what are the salaries on offer and the terms and conditions of employment.

      I would also like to see full CVs for all candidates listing the results for all public elections in which they have participated in the past.


  82. 437
    Prime Minister"The Dunce Of Downing Street" Cameron says:

    There two things that people do,and will never admit to… 1. Is Wanking and 2. Is Voting Tory, I would never admit to Voting Tory


  83. 439
    Churchmouse says:

    All good caflicks togevva – according to somebody up there ^^^^

    So why the surprise?


  84. 454
    DAVE EAT'N HEAD says:

    UKIP although untested will at least try to do something about this tidal wave of immigration comming here to steal our benefits
    We have had several centuries of these lying , thieving , cheating, perverted , low life scum , who have never lived in the real world and in most cases , never had a real job or even know what its like to work for a living
    Does anyone else believe a single statistic these crooks put out ? There are Millions more immigrants in this country than they care to admit to and come 2015 although they have ommitted to tell you , your taxes will have to rise and your services will have to be cut back further , to pay for them
    Lets give Nigel a chance , he has got to be a vast improvement on what we have had before !


  85. 455
    Nemesis. says:

    Perhaps if they do parachute Euan Blair into the safe Labour seat of Bootle more Labour supporters will vote Ukip but I doubt it. It appears the populace in that part of the country is as thick as its accent and even if they put a jug of cold custard and called it Labour the idiots of Merseyside would vote yes.


  86. 461
    DAVE EAT'N HEAD says:

    My Arse !

    We are all in it together !

    Vote Tory , Vote Gay !


  87. 479
    The Public says:

    “UKIP voters are more likely to return to the Tories when it comes to a general election choice between Miliband and Cameron”

    At what point do you lot in your sheltered Westminster bubble wake up to the fact that we’re not going to come back to Dave’s bigt government, pro EU, pro Massive immigration tories???


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