March 24th, 2014

Speaker’s Little Helpers: Bercow’s Bill Hits £2m

When John Bercow was elected Speaker in 2009, his campaign team said:

“The Speaker can either be a road block to reform or an agent of reform and change and there’s no doubt about it that John Bercow will be that agent of change.”

After five years in the £142,000 job, the only thing that has changed is the size of Speaker’s bill. Not happy with just his coat of arms, Bercow has grown his team to a nine-strong entourage of helpers at a cost of £383,000 a year. As Guido revealed in yesterday’s Sun, they include a £42,000 train-bearer whose job it is to carry his ceremonial cloak:

  • Speaker’s Secretary: up to £93,380
  • Assistant Speaker’s Secretary: up to £61,255
  • Chaplain: up to £61,255
  • Trainbearer: up to £42,401
  • Diary Secretary: up to £35,723
  • Personal Secretary: up to £29,330
  • Secretary: up to £29,330
  • Ad hoc Adviser: up to £15,512
  • Cleaner: up to £15,042

Add that to the £37,500 a year on jet-setting around the world and his £8,000 annual expenses bill and Bercow has creamed the taxpayer for more than £2 million since 2010. The ‘agent of reform and change’ is hardly short changed…


  1. 1
    Last of his kind says:

    please tell me we don’t actually employ someone on £42,000 to carry someones coat. That is Prince Charles territory barmy.


    • 7
      Winsterrrrrrrrn says:

      Never, in the history of the British parliament
      has so much smugness
      been given to so many
      by so few


      • 32
        Trougher truther says:

        Add to all that his Speaker’s pension (£80,000 last time I looked) which will be TAX-FREE! Nice work if you can get it…


        • 63
          Rusty Bodangler says:

          All that troughing can’t buy you stature.


          • Betty Boothroyd, who would be turning in her grave if she were dead says:

            Or a big enough cushion upon which to seat your scraggy arse, eh Bercow?


          • I dislike socialists intensely says:

            The only thing big about Bercow is his ego.


        • 77
          Anonymous says:

          We should never ever forget that Bercow gave an undertaking that he would not take his speakers pension until the normal retirement age.


    • 9
      Taxpayers Alliance - Egotistical Homunculus Division says:

      We should be paying Bercow £0 to go and get his fucking coat.


    • 16
      Cuck Old says:


    • 26
      Sally's Husband is a Twat by Default says:

      Socialists are the same the world over. They just can’t resist spending ever more of other people’s money.

      And the same goes for socialists Cameron and Osborne. They started off OK but only Eric Pickles is left actually saving money.


      • 67
        All the world says:

        the miserable short arse money grubbing , troughing twat, get your coat and fcuk orf.
        Not that I have anything against the fcuking dwarf, but just fark orf.


    • 27
      Maximus says:

      Time to resuscitate Gorbal Smick?


      • 31
        she sounds like a dopey comedian says:

        Has Rachel Reeves had a make-over and been told
        to smile more in a bid to appear less weird?

        Trouble is- trying to talk with a permanent rictus
        grin makes her sound just like Bernie Winters.


    • 45
      Hi hooooooooooooooo says:


    • 71
      Bob Crow (deceased) says:

      That’s the strength of the Train Carriers Union for you.


    • 73
      broderick crawford says:

      Speakers Secretary -Axed.. see Secretary
      Asst Speakers Secretary …ditto
      Chaplain . Axed . Bercow can pop round to Westminster Abbey or Cathedral if he feels need for spiritual succour or Sally needs to shrieve her mortal soul with the odd Confession or two.
      Trainbearer . Axed . Bercow can step on an electric powered train like every body else . No justification for a man to carry the train even though admittedly the journey would be smoother.
      Diary Secretary . Axed . Nigel Dempster will oblige from his great gossip column in the sky .

      Personal Secretary . Axed . See Secretary .
      Ad hoc Adviser . Axed . Duties to be performed by whichever MP has been consigned to the Speakers ” naughty steps ” on the day .

      Cleaner . Axed . Sally to take on official duties of scrubber free gratis for the privilege of board and lodging in premier grace and favour London accomodation.


      There … Staff costs reduced to 29 k at a stroke .

      Personal expenses and salary will be dealt with in a separate communication .


  2. 2
    PhD says:

    7,000 homes block visits from the TV licence enforcers: Growing numbers taking advantage of legal loophole that means they can threaten to sue collectors for trespass
    Daily mail


    • 82
      Dave says:

      Done it last year,implore every fucker to do the same,scares the shit out of them when u show them the letter.


  3. 3
    Sid says:

    Well he really is Labour at heart.


  4. 4
    a non says:

    Time for another round of Westminster dwarf tossing?


  5. 5
    Roz says:

    The “trainbearer” is in 40% income tax bracket.

    Can’t they get some yoof on work experience? Or buy him a coat that fits?


    • 18
      jgm2 says:

      Buy him a lightweight coat made from the same foil material they use to make novelty balloons. They can make those in any kind of shape. Then just fill it with helium and it can ‘carry’ itself. You might have to get him a pair of diving boots to stop him floating away and sticking to the roof of the chamber though. Or just put him on a piece of string so you can drag him along like they do in New York for their Thanksgiving Parade.


    • 22
      Nurse! says:

      A coat that fits – You mean a straight-jacket.


      • 68
        As Shakespeare wrote, 'There’s no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune' says:

        We are talking about the Speaker of the House of Commons, the chief officer and highest authority of the House of Commons.
        A high office of State, and we are stuck with this pygmy, this overbearing, arrogant, loathsome toad who has clay as brains and a wife he cannot bring to understand what her position as his wife entails.


    • 38
      Cinna says:

      It’s unfortunate that the coat was made for someone much taller.


  6. 6
    The Last Quango in Paris says:

    The while HofC needs reform – we don’t even need a Speaker FFS – we pay these ridiculous salaries, their pensions etc.. enough is enough.


  7. 8
    Taxpayers Alliance - Egotistical Homunculus Division says:

    So inch for inch he represents terrible value to the taxpayer.


  8. 10
    Yellow Bellies says:

    Remember the Lib Dems and Labour blocked Cameron’s boundary reform and plans to reduce the number of MPs


  9. 11
    The Coop says:

    Hey man!

    I’m hurtin – real bad, man

    coudya spare another bit of change?

    just a little £400 million for a cuppa tea?


  10. 12
    Arrogant twat says:


    • 69
      A family tree of cacti, because everyone's a prick says:

      Could he not qualify for the position of Village Idiot in some backwater of Siberia, the obnoxious loon.


  11. 13
    Tom Watson says:

    40odd K for a coat carrier …………… what a pie carrier worth then ??


  12. 17
    Anonymous says:

    Hi Should be paid half that, he is only using one hand!


  13. 19
    Pygmie spotter says:

    A chaplain?

    It didn’t think he was Christian


    • 21
      Historian says:

      He comes from the Pale

      Like all those thieving oligarchs


      • 72
        John Bellingham says:

        No exactly. The Pale was just in the Imperial Russian territories, modern Poland, parts of Ukraine and Crimea (!) . The Bercovicis or Bercowitzes were from Romania. However in the 1880s many Gypsies masqueraded as J@ws in order to escape certain draconian laws that were harsher than those applied to the Chosen.


        • 74
          broderick crawford says:

          Really ??

          I always thought the Pale was an area protecting the city if either Dublin or Belfast in ” colonial” times and anyone outside it was exposed to thieving brigands etc.

          Hence the term to be ” … beyond the Pale …” n’est pas??


          • Jack Ketch says:

            Different Pale, in Russia Черта́ осе́длости, chertá osédlosti–Pale of Settlement; same root word though from latin Palus–a stake as in a fence.


  14. 23
    Shnapps Apps says:

    But there are expenses dear boy not least when the wife goes on the bottle. Then there is Nigel’s little foibles and upset males to be addressed.


  15. 24
    Tuscan Cunt says:


  16. 28
    Liar spotter says:

    Nice to see your referenced article from Media Intelligence Partners, your associates

    Nothing like self promotion what?

    Written by ex Tory spin doctor, Nick Wood

    Another pygmie trying to speak in the name of a great man

    I believe Reagan would have respected agreements like the February 21 compromise agreement between the elected President and Opposition

    He would also have respected the Gorbachev/Bush senior agreement not to expand NATO right up to Russia’s frontiers

    He would also never have accepted ethnic cleansing in the Occupied Palestinian territories

    Reagan was far too honest to be a neocon liar

    Shame on Wood for trying to capture the Reagan heritage


    • 39
      Agitprop Watch says:

      Reagan would also not have hesitated in nuking the commie bastards if they started trying to change borders.


      • 42
        Liar spotter says:

        Once a spin doctor, always a liar, as Guido would say

        You are a particularly crude example thereof


        • 46
          btw snooty says:

          It’s “pygmy” in the singular, but it’s just a little mistake.


          • broderick crawford says:

            Duly noted that Mr Mrs and Ms Blank appear to occupy all top ten placings .

            Gargantuan self sacrifice from the Blanks .

            Would the Kingdom were favoured with other families with similar levels of unrequited largesse.


  17. 29
    Tastebud Tony says:

    Remember! ‘We’re all in this together!’ – Referring to Snouts in Troughs…


  18. 30
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    Even if Dave had honoured his promise to us to get rid of 10% of the freebooters we would still have been stung in our pockets by this little man and his antics.

    I had been thinking because he turns up to work in a suit and tie rather than stockings and garters he was quite careful with our hard earned cash.

    Oh how wrong I have been.


  19. 33
    olden1936 says:

    Our taxes pay for this unnecessary and extravagant parliamentary pageantry. These are the same people who continue to offer us an indigestable diet of cuts and austerity coupled with implied hopes for a golden future for us all. It seems that their golden future is already here.


  20. 35
    Bercow Real office pursuit says:

    Cleaning up after Sally consumes half my time. Expenses for the office are half that figure. Thanks for not including the bar bill, at Westminister prices. Chin Chin.


  21. 36
    Alex says:

    15 grand a year for a cleaner? Where do I sign up?


  22. 40
    M­a­­­­q­bo­­ul says:

    A ceremonial shirt-lifter on £42 K pa, if you please!

    He’s not fucking Royalty you know/


  23. 41
    Bez says:

    I’d be a great speaker. We could all go down the boozer for a few scoops, and then get off our faces on speedballs afterwards.

    I’d actually be less overtly wrong than Bercow.


  24. 47
    Here Comes the Gay Bride says:

    Is Bercow a ladyboy or something? Only women enter buildings with their frocks held up by page boys.


  25. 48

    Does the “Frilly boy” also lift his shirt for him ?


    • 54
      Everhard Lord Smith's very private secretary says:

      Yes he does now Bercow got him second hand from Nigel Evans.


  26. 49
    Sally says:

    Shouldn’t it be “Little Speaker’s Helpers”.


  27. 50
    We_Aim_To_Swerve says:

    You’d have to pay me more than the 40% minimum wage to do a job carrying the skirts of a c’nut like Berkcow.


  28. 52
    mrgarethm says:

    What is the CPI on that? (Cost per inch) I imagine that as Mr B is so small, the ratio would be rather high.


  29. 53
    Dee says:

    Good grief. Look at the income difference between the Chaplain and the cleaner. Not that I would mind being paid that cleaners wage, but it just goes to show how a man whose job is based on a vivid imagination and talking a good talk is valued far more than the grafter !
    Disgusting. These silly men who live pampered lives don’t even reflect the nation we live in.


  30. 56
    Anonymous says:

    Complete waste of space: Politicians writ small (very small in this case).


  31. 57
    Benny Fitzstreet esq says:

    And they wonder why we don’t vote for them, what about a mouth gag to put on his wife, surprised he hasn’t hired a PR agent for her also


    • 86
      Little John says:

      I tried to get her Max Clifford. Dear Sally said she wasn’t interested in an agent with a freakishly small penis. She also said something about it being freakishly pale.


  32. 64
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    And the only person on that list who does a job, something we could recognise as an actual job with observable results is:

    ‘Cleaner: up to £15,042′

    And of course he or she is paid the least.


  33. 78
    Beaker says:

    Worth every penny.


  34. 79
    Sack him, sack him, SACK HIM! says:

    I am so SICK of this! Can we not sack him? If not, why not?

    This happens with Speaker after Speaker, but this one is the worst of all of them.

    Is there no code of conduct governing Speaker’s expenditure?


  35. 83
    Dave says:



Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,647 other followers