March 20th, 2014

Tories Play Hardball


A CCHQ spokesman told Guido this morning that they stand by the poster and will not be apologising for cutting taxes. The Speccie quotes a revisionist Tory source’s attempts to rewrite last night’s Twitter infographic clusterf**k though:

“there never was a poster or digital campaign, it was only intended as an infographic… the idea that it’s been pulled is ridiculous.”

Though Grant Shapps ain’t tweeting it this morning, there is no comment on who it was that came up with the poster or who signed it off. Shapps is getting the flack right now, but it has not gone unnoticed in CCHQ that the poster was also pushed last night by the Chancellor’s PPS.

Labour are cock-a-hoop that they finally have an angle on the budget, that said, the Tories are counter attacking with this from Labour’s John McTernan:

They’re all in it together…


  1. 1
    Mitch says:

    F*ck them both.

  2. 2
    Stephen Hawking says:

    It was Labour lobbyists who started this campaign back in 2010.

    Charles Napier – 0207 618 9132
    Amelia Bullock-Muir – 0207 618 9166
    Oli Winton – 0207 618 9156

    Check their twitter accounts – All Labour “Lobbyists” / Media Consultants.

  3. 3
    I hate Labour says:

    Labour should all go fuck themselves.

  4. 4
    Vlad the Loudhailer says:

    Well you certainly can’t trust Labour to spend my taxes sensibly. Milenum Dome anyone!

  5. 5
    Richard Webbfoot says:

    Lovin’ it. Labour are excited about a twitter message because they’ve got nothing to say on the budget and the economy.

  6. 6
    Michael Parkinson says:

    I’ve met hundreds of interesting people.

  7. 7
    Twitterite says:

    I assumed it was from one of my favourite twitter trolls. I retweeted it to see if anyone bit.

    You really couldn’t make it up.

  8. 8
    An Elderly Person says:

    Grant Shapps is doing for the Tory party what David Moyes is doing for Manchester United…

  9. 9
    Gobs says:

    Two showers of shite

  10. 10
    An Elderly Person says:

    Shove your pen up your arse.

  11. 11
    Steve Miliband says:

    The best Labour can come up with is with a critique of a childish twitter post?

    Was it Paul Whitehouse replying to Budget for Labour? The Bankers the bonuses, the bonuses The Bankers, Bullingdon, Ashcroft, Nasty, Tax cut for Millionaires, The Bankers the Bonuses etc etc

  12. 12
    Ed Balls says:

    If we win next year, we’ll increase the public sector by 550% and tax everyone 90p in the pound except union bosses and ourselves. Sieg heil!

  13. 13
    Steve Miliband says:

    Taking them out of Europe?

  14. 14
    was it something I said? says:

    Sounds like Fucking Scotland’s economy.

  15. 15
    Ric Holden CCHQ says:

    How long until we see Grant Shapps pictured at the bingo, eating a ‘growler’ and drinking a pint of northern ale?

  16. 16
    Richard Webbfoot says:

    Coping with the legacy of overspending by a psychopathic Scot?

  17. 17
    3-2 last night says:


  18. 18
    Toxic Labour for Spongers, Parasites, Criminals, Peedos, Green Nazis & other Wasters says:

    Bankers bonus blah blah, eton blah blah, rich blah blah, toffs blah blah, tories blah blah, freeze energy blah blah. what a vile, vacuous scumbag this Red Miliband is.

  19. 19
    Tinkering Watch says:

    The tax cut on beer was pathetic. They need to take at least 50p a pint off the price of a beer in a pub. As gor encouraging bingo, I think they should focus on something mroe important, like the real damage being caused by the gambling industry to our High Streets, with their addictive gambling machines spreading theough our towns like Japanese Knotweed.

    Personally, I would ban such machines altogether apart from in, say, half a dozen casinos in seaside town and restrict High Street gambling to bets on genuine events, like horse races, football matches and whether or not David Cameron’s Conservatives will come third in the European elections.

  20. 20
    Mitch says:

    Wearing a flat whippet and clogs?

  21. 21
    Ah! ha says:

    another :)

  22. 22
    Wearedonkeys says:


  23. 23
    Sweetie PIE says:

    Tony Benn’s daughter, Melissa, worked as assistant to Patricia Hewitt at NCCL.

  24. 24
    Mitch says:

    You can easily buy decent beer from the supermarket at around £1 a pint. I love pubs but they are just too expensive, whoever is to blame.

  25. 25
    All in it together says:

    Interesting relation.

  26. 26
    one plus one is three, Liebour are about says:

    Trying his hardest to be a winner, nothing wrong with that.

  27. 27
    Michael Parkinson says:

    I’ve met hundreds of fascinating people. Phone now and you get a free biro just for asking.

  28. 28
    was it something I said? says:

    I assume that video clip is entirely out of context. I assume the Labour guy is actually saying that the status quo says that ‘You can’t trust people to spend their own money…’

    If a Labour mouthpiece has actually said ”You can’t trust people to spend their own money…’ then they (Labour) are fucked.

  29. 29
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    YES closes the gap to 5% in new Panelbase IndyRef poll for Scottish Independence vote:

    YES 40%
    NO 45%
    DK 15%

    Good news for the Tories as the only chance they have now of stopping Miliband serving a full 5 year term is if the Scots vote YES to independence and Miliband only wins with a small majority in May next year.

    He will then lose that majority in 2016 as Scottish MPs will no longer sit at Westminster.

    Labour could try to struggle on as a minority government but the markets will call time on them pretty quickly, forcing a vote of no confidence and an early general election in late 2016 or Spring 2017.

  30. 30
    Laconia says:


  31. 31
    Ah! here we go again says:

    Now that Spring has arrived in Portugal a plethora of ‘new leads’ in the search for ‘new leads’ will be followed up by hard-working British police searching for ‘new leads’

  32. 32
    M102 says:

    Growler? The only growler I can think of is one that wouldn’t be eaten in public.

  33. 33
    Got a new pound not for the guy says:

    Why did Liebour allow the machines in the first place, good job that massive casino planned for Manchester wasn’t built, 2015 is going to be great, it’s a good bet who will be third, Camorons Conservatives or red Ed’s Liebour, the Libcraps will come 5th after the Elvis guy.

  34. 34
    Ah! question says:

    but would a yes vote immediately trigger this scenario. I suspect not. It would take years to arrange a split surely?

  35. 35
    Sherlock Holmes says:

    Apparently, the suspects are partial to long stays in 5 star resorts and are suspected of dining in a number of exclusive restaurants before rounding off their evenings in nightclubs.

  36. 36
    Get Rid of Scotland says:

    England needs to tell the Scots to stop whining. The tartan spongers claim the Pound “belongs to Scotland as much as England” but then say they’ll be wealthy as an independent nation because they want all the North Sea oil.

  37. 37
    Toxic Labour for Spongers, Parasites, Criminals, Peedos, Green Nazis & other Wasters says:

    But this is what Labour believe and why they always spend our money for us?

  38. 38
    Tony Blair is a war criminal says:

    Actually lots of lefties were opposing the changes to pensions. They all stated people can’t be trusted to spend their money.

  39. 39
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Scotland will be officially become independent on March 24th 2016 and therefore Scottish MPs will no longer have any right to sit at Westminster.

  40. 40
    Ah! no he meant it says:

    Nope, the context was giving access to people deciding how much they could / would take out of THEIR pension pots. He feared that many would spend THEIR money too soon and would have to rely on the State, just like those who have never bothered to save anything.

  41. 41
    Dave and his Fags says:

    Calm down dears. This all part of our plan for a Labour landslide in 2015.

  42. 42
    Ukrainian Oligarch in Laundry London says:


    Thanks for diverting public attention

    Our Spoonface Cameron is currently vetoing any sanctions on us in Brussels

    We have pillaged billionns from Ukraine and bought Tony Blair and Bill Clinton for a few million dollars

    So we are safe and happy in London while our thugs run amok in Ukraine beating up the police, takinng over factories and beating up TV producers who we don’t like

    I’m just waiting to telephone Victoria Nuland and the neocon criminals in Washington and London

  43. 43
    Each action etc. says:

    I do hope the Scots win their referendum vote, after so many years of being under the heel of us nasty English, they must be so relieved they can rule their own country under king Alex the snake oil salesman and be part of the EU, supplying soldiers to fight the bear in the EU’s “expansion” programme.

  44. 44
    Londoner says:

    Whether Scotland stays or goes is a matter of complete indifference to me. I will not be the one queuing up for hours on the A1 waiting to have my passport checked, my goods searched and the pressure on my tyres inspected.

  45. 45
    Prime Minister"Money's no object" Cameron says:

    Now we are relying on the Australians to find that plane!

    They can’t even find a decent beer

  46. 46
    Barnyard Hogan How? says:

    Where you’ll find your head

  47. 47
    was it something I said? says:


  48. 48
    BBC News says:

    NEWSFLASH: Air crash investigators say the missing Malaysian Airlines 777 could have flown in to Labour’s black hole. “This is vast uncharted area of wasteland” said an expert familiar with the search

  49. 49
    Toxic Labour for Spongers, Parasites, Criminals, Peedos, Green Nazis & other Wasters says:

    Vote Labour and we’ll spend your money for you.

  50. 50
    One Man One Vote says:

    And good riddance. The malign influence of the gerrymandered and unfairly small Scottish constituencies has been felt in this country for far too long.

  51. 51
    I hate Labour says:

    What’s happened to Jimmy? His absence is worrying. Has he been sent to a Tony Blair re-education education education camp for failing in his trolling activities?

  52. 52
    Red Ed says:

    Multi-million pound Marxists who dodge inheritance tax blah blah blah… oh wait thats me!

  53. 53
    Toxic Labour for Spongers, Parasites, Criminals, Peedos, Green Nazis & other Wasters says:

    Vote Labour and we’ll spend your money before you get it.

  54. 54
    BigTed/LittleTed says:

    Tomorrow, I hope.

  55. 55
    Mandelson says:

    The pilots were gay?

  56. 56
    was it something I said? says:

    Well in that case Labour are fucked.

    If I were CCHQ I would hound the fuckers to the grave with that quote.

  57. 57
    Diane Fatbott says:


  58. 58
    The Defence says:

    His voice sounds like a woman when he screams.

  59. 59
    Where is my right of recall? says:

    Probably quite dull, if her father was anything to go by.

    People with an overweaning sense of self-entitlement tend to be bores.

  60. 60
    Rationality is not one of their traits says:

    Why are women so fucking irrational? I’m not a misogynist, this is just a fact. They’re incapable of being rational and consistent. I feel sorry for anyone who made the mistake of getting married. What may start out as nice and happy just ends up in years of misery, ending in a divorce that costs you dearly. That’s one mistake I’ll never make. Last thing I want is an irrational nagging harridan making my life a misery and then fleecing me.

  61. 61
    Mr Nobody says:

    Labour’s 2005 Gambling Act did huge damage, and the smoking ban compounded it. Tax on FOBTs went up to 25% which is a step in the right direction, but the maximum stake needs reducing to £2. £100 per game on red or black is simply not acceptable.

  62. 62
    Green Idiot says:

    if you stack all the Daily Express front page Maddie stories they reach 45.9m high

  63. 63
    Steve Miliband says:

    Why aren’t Footballers on £300k a week castigated like Bankers are?

    Most Footballers are probably Ltd co’s paying themselves dividends.

  64. 64
    Green Idiot says:

    He was on that plane.

  65. 65
    Slacker says:

    Stop going on about the hard working!

    What about us slackers?

    We still work, we still pay taxes.

    Just because we don’t think working is a great way to spend three score years and ten.

  66. 66
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Finger ‘em, fuck ‘em and fuckin’ forget ‘em :-)

  67. 67
    Anonymous says:

    When are they going to fire the useless idiot Grant Shapps

  68. 68
    was it something I said? says:

    Is your mum going through the menopause?

    Tell your dad to leave her and find a nice secretary who is 20 years younger and start a second family.

  69. 69
    The public says:

    All quoted football salaries of £300k a week etc are the actual cash received numbers.
    Salaries are quoted AFTER TAX.

    So Rooney is actually on £500k a week.

  70. 70
    Whilst my comment awaits moderation says:
  71. 71
    Eti says:

    Why spend Billions trying to find intelligent life in outer space when you can’t find a plane on Planet Earth?

  72. 72
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Because footballers haven’t been bailed out by the taxpayer?

  73. 73
    don't forget says:

    Labour only belatedly managed to come up with this
    angle because it was fed them by their mates at the
    Their total incompetence has been underlined by this
    Tory budget success.

  74. 74
    Glasgow Rangers says:


  75. 75
    Ed Millibandwagon says:

    Are you referring to me?

  76. 76
    Rachel Reeves says:

    Ed told me to stand by for deployment round the BBC.

    Honk…Honk honk honk. Hoooooonnnnnkkkk!

  77. 77
    let's go sycophanting says:

    Is it true you come from Yorkshire?

  78. 78
    i bet says:

    He’s left kids kids in their boarding schools and
    has flown off to an exclusive exotic resort.

  79. 79
    nell says:

    labour ‘ you can’t trust people to spend their own money sensibly’


    this from the last labour government that frittered everything away on nothing!!

  80. 80
    Phil McCavity says:

    If it were a football match it would have gone:
    Tories 1-0 up after budget, Milliband failing to reply to Osborne’s goal
    Labour equalise after Shapps in the Tory goal puts the ball in his own net.

  81. 81
    BUNGELR says:

    “you can’t trust people to sped their own money”


  82. 82
    A leaky salmon says:

    and what’s wrong with that, are you wacist?

  83. 83
    M­a­­­­q­bo­­ul says:

    Maybe he got a job at last.

  84. 84
    more importantly says:

    When is Miliband going to fire PIE apologists Harman and Dromey?

  85. 85
    Dan Hodges says:

    I don’t want to say I told you so … but I told you so.

    Ed Miliband is a spaz

  86. 86
    Twofatladies. says:

    They play bingo there!

  87. 87
    Ellie-Mae (9) says:

    Are you still munching your way thru the Rhythym Kitchen’s output?

  88. 88
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Labour have no answers. Miliband’s embarassing rant yesterday proved that.

  89. 89
    neitherdeadnoralive says:

    My God !! What a choice; chinless, Eaton educated millionaires who think “they” only need bingo and beer to keep them happy; or millionaire Marxists who are about as in touch with the “working class” as their Tory counterparts……..

  90. 90
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:


  91. 91
    Theresa May's nice party says:

    What always astonishes me is how the Tories let Labour off the hook time and time again.

    They should be able to bury the fuckers, but the Tories are so fucking wet. They need to get angry and go on the attack.

  92. 92
    Rationality is not one of their traits says:

    As the old saying goes:

    Women. Can’t live with them. Pass the beer nuts.

  93. 93
    Táxpáyér says:

    How does making land more expensive let people do more of the things they enjoy?

    It just makes banks get more interest payments.

  94. 94
    Only chavs shop at Tesco says:

    That’ll put Mandelslime out of a job, eh?

  95. 95
  96. 96
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Ed Balls has been on the BBC News channel this morning. He speaks but there is nothing behind the words, his eyes show that he is highly stressed. I believe his world is crumbling around him.

  97. 97
    Anonymous says:

    Is is true that the Tories intend to make flat caps and whippets tax deductible?

    There you go overtaxed, overgoverned working person have a penny off your pint. Patronising fucktards !

  98. 98


  99. 99
    Better dead than red says:

    Fuck off Putin

  100. 100
    gotta larf says:

    Jimmy’s waiting for orders from Labour HQ, but they’re too busy lookin at bingo tweets.

  101. 101
    I'm a man and I like women says:

    Are you one of Cameron’s bum-sex brigade?

  102. 102
    was it something I said? says:

    I think the Tories have finally cleared all the Labour moles out of the Treasury. Miliband and Balls hadn’t a fucking clue what hit them yesterday.

    They still haven’t a clue what hit them. They don’t have any answers or objections or stance on the long-term implications of allowing pensioners access to their cash. Or any of the other measures announced.

    Totally fucking pwned.

  103. 103
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    That’s no way to speak about Sally Bercow.

  104. 104
    M­a­­­­q­bo­­ul says:

    No they are typically employees of the clubs and salaried. As far as sponsorship deals are concerned then I’m sure that those few have Ltd Cos of the sort that serve Ken Livingstone and Gordon Brown so well.

    When Labour talk about taxing bankers bonuses don’t they already realise they are taxed at 47% plus whatever the employer’s NIC contribution is and then when they spend the remainder 20% VAT is taken off.

    Doesn’t leave a lot to buy jobs for the feckless.

  105. 105
    Rob says:

    “Is that all you’ve got?” Should be the only answer to the stuck up temperance and tax fanatics sneering at this poster.

    God help us that a tax should be reduced, especially on something popular in areas without a N1/N5 postcode.

    Fuck off back to your artisan bakery.

  106. 106
    Pres Pootn says:

    Finkelstein’s hands look like they’ve never seen a days hard labour in their entire lifetime.

  107. 107
    hard of thinking lefty says:

    Because footballsers are good salt of the earth working class lads
    from good working class areas
    such as Manchester, and Liverpool

    (don’t mention Barcelona!)

  108. 108
    Gorblimey says:

    flack != flak

  109. 109
    M­a­­­­q­bo­­ul says:

    But I believe he is a passionate Bingo Player to be seen most nights down at the Primrose Hill Social Club.

  110. 110
    Pres Pootn says:

    Get out of the wrong side of the bed this morning?

  111. 111
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    So what do marxists drink, dissidents blood?

  112. 112
    Village Idiot says:

    …Yes,but we know all about “The Big Bang” that no one can prove and look here,we have a “Higgs Bosun ” that should keep us in funds for years!..Oh…forgot to mention, “Climate change”,which by any other name is just as lucrative!…Did you know “Mercury” is getting smaller?…All useful stuff for living on this Globe!
    ….What plane?

  113. 113
    Dot Cottons fag says:

    Brilliant spoof picture in the Mail Cabinet meeting where all are drinking beer and playing bingo. Sadly this is probably all people will remember of the budget now. Shapps really is a liability isn’t he?

    The McTienan thing is gold though, will keep a copy of that to be deployed at strategic intervals.

  114. 114
    Pres Pootn says:

    Q. What do Grant Shapps and Ed Miliband have in common?

    Clue…it has something to do with the Israeli parliament.

  115. 115
    d'ya like gladiator movies? says:

    Ok so you don’t like women and prefer the company of men

    there’s nothing wrong with that, these days, apparently

    but no need to keep banging on about it old chap

  116. 116
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Two fat ladies, Abbott and Thornberry.

  117. 117
    #harrietharmanresign says:

    When is Harriet Harman going to resign?

  118. 118
    Seen it says:

    Labour will row back on the pension change, cannot have people only paying twenty per cent, it will be treated as a capital windfall worthy of heavy taxing say fifty per cent.

    Of course they don’t like personal responsibility, it flies counter to the dependency drug teat brought by Bliar and brun, they believe these people can’t be trusted to even get the kids to school and for a large part they are right, so schools employ knocker uppers in the heartlands.

  119. 119
    Namby Pamby says:

    Georgie Porgie
    Pudding and Pie
    Kissed the old
    And made them cry…

  120. 120
    neitherdeadnoralive says:

    You’ll have to forgive me; my parents spent all their money on bingo and beer so couldn’t afford to send me to school; I was to busy walking the Whippet, anyway, but thanks for correcting me.

  121. 121
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Remember the Mayor in ‘Jaws’ ?
    The Chief confronts him as he’s mumbling “We can still save August…If we…”

    “Larry, the summer is over. You’re the mayor of “shark city.”

    That’s poor Ed Balls wandering around the shadow cabinet..”if .. if the Eurozone fails…if ..if maybe we can start a war in Ukraine it will destabilise the west and bring back the recession.. or get the unions to hold a general strike for a month..or ..or maybe there will be a drought..or..a recession..?”

    “Recession? Ed, recession is over! You’re the Mayor of triple dip city. The people think you want the economy to fail”

  122. 122
    Mitch says:

    I had a pint like that once, in Wales it was.

  123. 123
    1p says:

    I’m going to spend, spend, spend!

  124. 124
    Harman, H. says:


    Are you 15?

  125. 125
    Anonymous says:

    This demonstrates beautifully the extent of the joined up thinking within the Liebore
    Party. ” We’ve no answers to the Budget, but we’re cock a hoop that halving the tax on Bingo, and taking a penny off a pint of beer is being condescending to our core voters, and we can make a song and dance about it, meanwhile telling all the rich, conservative voting pensioners, that although they had the brains to save their money over the years, they are not to be trusted to spend it wisely.” Condescending ??

  126. 126
    Ukrainian Oligarch in Laundry London says:

    I’m not Putin

    I’m an Oligarch protected by the UK Government

    Try to be coherent my friend

  127. 127
    Harman, H. says:

    Command economy
    Planned economy
    Central control
    Committees for spending
    The State

    Central control is at the heart of all socialist thinking.

  128. 128
    Bill Quango MP says:

    They don’t know what orders to send.

    Ed Miliband thought his Labour panzer’s had reached Moscow and he was home safe. But he’s been held at the gates by a Tory counterattack

    And as he looks at the weather he sees its starting to snow….

  129. 129
    Rationality is not one of their traits says:

    I like sex with women. Can’t be doing with the nagging and their hysterical insecurities.

  130. 130
    Ukrainian Oligarch in Laundry London says:

    Grant Craps is one of us

    He cannot be removed without the permission of Tel Aviv

  131. 131
    Savvy person says:

    I love these pension changes. We’ll blow the lot, and then sign on for Income Support.

    Thanks George.

    PS: If you think you’ve bought our votes, you can fuck off.

  132. 132
    John says:

    Both agents of a foreign power

  133. 133
    Me says:

    You really do believe in the LibLabCon pantomime.

    How sad.

  134. 134
    LOL says:

    Love your posts, Mr Quango. That sums up Blinky perfectly.

    I’m always impressed how you manage to make appropriate film references. Here’s a challenge. Draw an analogy between Labour and a character from Aliens or Terminator.

  135. 135
    Benny Fitz-Clements says:

    Let me know how you get on claiming Income Support. Seems that the Tories have stopped chucking around Taxpayers’ free money like there’s no tomorrow.


  136. 136
    Dot Cottons fag says:

    I guess I’m just easily pleased eh.

  137. 137
    Hillary Clinton says:

    I say nussing.

  138. 138
    Slacker says:

    Dude, I am the un-carved block :)

  139. 139
  140. 140
    The Critic says:

    Patronising -your the one talking about flat caps and whippets FFS. Ever met a working person?

  141. 141
    Liverpool Fan says:

    That made my day! :)

  142. 142
    Spellcheck says:

    Rhythymymym shurely.

  143. 143
    Savvy person says:

    You’re right. It’s more Pension Credit that we can claim.

  144. 144
    A right old Eton Mess says:

    Not just them standing down in March 2016 but they may not even be allowed to stand in May 2015 if Scotland becomes Independent . The Government/Parliament have received constitutional advice that in the event of Scotland voting for independence on 18 September 2015 that there will have to be emergency legislation introduced to disbar the 59 MPs representing Scottish constituencies in standing for the General Election in May 2015 and that included in the legislation will be the immediate transfer of powers to the Scottish Government .

    The view is that it would constitutionally unsafe to allow such MPs to stand as it could cause a constitutional crisis as by them standing there could be a legal challenge to the validity of any election result

  145. 145
    M103 says:

    We are in the same position as Japan was in the 1990’s, stagflation nation, a decade of our economy bouncing along the bottom.

    However Japan could call in a substantial amount of foreign debt owed, we don’t have even that.

    Thatcherism has stripped this country bare, the vultures like wonga are feeding of the carcass and our carpet bagger of a chancellor is selling off the rest

  146. 146
    A right old Eton Mess says:

    * should read 18 September 2014 not 2015

  147. 147
    Baboon's arse says:

  148. 148
    The Critic says:

    Having warned the bansk what he will do, I am sure bonus payments will cease and a new way to pay them will be invented. Genius move Ed.

  149. 149
    JadedJean11 says:

    Have you only just realised this?

  150. 150
    Michael Parkinson says:

    I’ve met hundreds of interesting stairlifts.

  151. 151
    Quiet Bat Person says:

    But the cheeky little prick seems to be trying to con voters into accepting that the Tories will transform a 111 billion deficit into a plus figure within less than 5 yrs.
    Does he really think we are all that fucking stupid?

  152. 152
    Better dead than red says:

    Putin, fuck off.

  153. 153
    P Issed says:

    Why is it always a penny off a pint?

    Can anybody here tell me how many decades you would have to go back for a penny off a pint to be greeted with anything approaching enthusiasm and gratitude, rather than indifference, or a rolling of the eyes and a muttered curse?

    Because I don’t think I’m old enough and I’m not exactly a giddy youth

  154. 154
    Laundry City banker says:


    Putin has just told the Oligarchs to bring their companies onshore and pay Russiann taxes

    Will our laundering business collapse?

  155. 155
    Guy News Room says:

    Royal Navy sending Owen Jones in a rowing boat to search for missing MH370 plane, UK’s Ministry of Defence confirms

  156. 156
    Baboon's arse says:

    No initial capital for “whippet”.

    I went to Winchester & Balliol :-)

  157. 157
    Pres Pootn says:

    “Command economy
    Planned economy
    Central control”

    Some might say that is only way we will get ourselves out of the economic hole we are currently in.

    But then some soft hands don’t do industry.

  158. 158
    It was Blair/Brown that stripped the nation, Mrs T made it. says:

    Judging by the 3 of you, he’s right.

  159. 159
    Pres Pootn says:

    “Arbeit Macht Frei”

    Just what was that sign all about?

  160. 160
    Anonymous says:

    “they stand by the poster”
    since it succinctly summates current political ideology. In that with referendums outlawed, any opportunity for the people to attain democratic majority to rule is similarly down to a chance gamble.

  161. 161
    Benny Fitz-Clements says:

    Huh ! Some might say you OAPs who have saved all your lives are simply getting your own money back.

    Labour promised me cradle to grave welfare and I mean to collect on that pledge.

  162. 162
    Sir Rodney Trotter says:

    The criminally useless Gideon stared into the abyss for which his reputation is destined, and… he cut taxes on bingo.

    There never was an individual so patently incapable of doing their job

  163. 163
    Dave says:

    The word is ‘flaunting’.

  164. 164
    PIE Eater says:

    A bit like daughters…you can’t pork and you can’t leave ‘em.

  165. 165
    The only Country in Europe not to have a Parliament is England says:

    Let them have all the old pound coins in 2017

  166. 166
    Try again says:

    A bit like daughters…you can’t pork ‘em and you can’t leave ‘em.

  167. 167
    A Dodding Nonkey says:

    The astral plane by the sound of it..

  168. 168
    Heil Cameron says:

    He spends an unduly large amount of time ‘setting political traps for Labour’, he is just playing games, when what we really need is a chancellor that puts the interests of the people of this country first and not their petty politicking.

    Their laughter across the parliamentary floor is as vacuous as Gidiots dodgy accounting (and haircut)

  169. 169
    Pres Pootn says:

    But that IS his job… i.e. to do nothing.

  170. 170
    A Dodding Nonkey says:

    Are you an Olympian perchance?

  171. 171
    Pres Pootn says:

    PS – What do many of the oligarchs have in common…other than soft hands?

  172. 172
    A Dodding Nonkey says:

    But will he have to leave if his compatriots vote “yes’ ?

  173. 173
    The 'low tax' Tory Party says:

    The 24 Tory Tax Rises

    1. VAT increased – to 20 per cent from 2011
    2. Income Tax age-related allowances frozen and eligibility restricted (“Granny Tax”) from 2013-14
    3. Income Tax higher rate threshold cut to £42,475 in 2011-12
    4. Higher Income Child Benefit Charge introduced 2013
    5. National Insurance Contributions rates, limits and thresholds increased in line with CPI rather than RPI from 2012-13
    6. Income Tax higher rate threshold frozen at £42,475 in 2012-13
    7. Insurance premium tax increased – from 2011
    8. Capital Gains Tax increased – to 28 per cent for higher rate taxpayers from June 2010
    9. New Beer Duty introduced on high strength beers from 2011
    10. Duty on hand-rolling tobacco increased by an additional 10 per cent from 2011-12
    11. ISA subscription limit uprated in line with CPI rather than RPI from 2012-13
    12. National Insurance Contributions changes to contracting-out rebates from 2012-13
    13. Capital Gains Tax annual exempt amount frozen, 2012-13
    14. Stamp Duty Land Tax increase to 7 per cent on properties over £2 million from 2012-13
    15. VAT increases on a range of items, including caravans, sports drinks, and listed buildings from 2012
    16. Duty on tobacco increased by RPI + 5 per cent in 2012
    17. Income Tax higher rate threshold cut to £41,450 in 2013-14
    18. Capital Gains Tax annual exempt amount increased in line with CPI rather than RPI from 2013-14
    19. Income Tax cap on reliefs introduced from 2013-14
    20. Pension tax relief restricted from 2014-15 21.
    21. Income Tax higher rate threshold Increase capped at 1 per cent in 2014-15 and 2015-16
    22. Capital Gains Tax annual exempt amount increase capped at 1 per cent, 2014-15 and 2015-16
    23. Inheritance Tax threshold frozen in 2015-16
    24. National Insurance Contributions ending of contracting-out rebates from 2016-17

  174. 174
    Bill Quango MP says:

    LOL, thanks for that.

    : Too easy – Others have done good ones before.

    My two favourites from Aliens was someone describing Brown rushing around when Purnell resigned as Bill Paxton. “Game over over”

    And the one applicable to New Labour in general.

    ” I say we take off and nuke their entire HQ from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

  175. 175
    Anonymous says:

    Leeds Elland road x2 by local council

  176. 176
    It is better to stand and be patronized on your feet than be patronized on your knees says:


    This ‘penny off a pint’ nonsense is pathetic. It would need at least 50p off a pint – actually taken off the price and not absorbed by the brewery shareholders – for me to raise my glass in the direction of any chancellor of any party. After all, they would still be taxing a basic pleasure to high heaven and wasting the money raised on foreign aid even if they did take 50p off a pint.

  177. 177
    Anonymous says:

    There’s only one fat lady now. Do try to keep up…

  178. 178
    A Dodding Nonkey says:

    Wasn’t it something to do with Lardy Prescott’s cowboy belt?

  179. 179
    Viscount Biscuits says:

    I respect Tony Benn for his principles and I give my condolences to his family on his passing, but I just wonder if he ever personally donated any of his wealth to the people he proclaimed to be concerned about? It’s all well and good to portray yourself as a champion of the powerless from your pad in Holland Park, but did he actually do anything? As far as I can tell, he just spent the last 35 years making speeches, writing diaries and making speeches. Speeches are great but they don’t amount to anything. Meanwhile, his children and grandchildren lead very affluent, privileged lives. Do they help the poor and powerless from their upper middle class homes?

  180. 180
    A Dodding Nonkey says:

    How old was she?

  181. 181
    Bill Quango MP says:

    So, they are saying Thatcher run up labour’s debt during their 13 years?

  182. 182
    Our taxes are working class crap says:

    Grant Shapps is the Gerald Ratner of the Tory party

    We also do cut-glass sherry decanters complete with six glasses on a silver-plated tray that your butler can serve you drinks on, all for £4.95. People say, “How can you sell this for such a low price?”, I say, “because it’s total crap

  183. 183
    PunsRus says:

    Using stilettos no doubt?

  184. 184
    Pogo says:

    I say! I’m a wine-drinking squash player… Where’s my f*cking tax break?

  185. 185
    Scotch Broff says:

    Does that also mean Scottish person who represent English constituencies? If so some bye-elections will also be needed

  186. 186
    Call us today says:


  187. 187
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Well..he did pledge to strip the Queen of her lands.

    He never mentioned if he would be stripping himself of his lands, that came from the source of ancient, titled, royal patronage.

    Why not ask Hillary Benn to check the will? See if the estates have been handed over to the local council for use as a social housing development.

  188. 188
    Twattered Budget says:

    Amazing how just one little Tweet can fuck up a whole budget.

    Dave was wrong, just one Tweet can Twat the lot.

  189. 189
    More than a handful is wasted says:

    Actually, there are none.

    Diane Abbott has replaced both of them.

  190. 190
    Scotch Broff says:

    Rumpy says the EU don’t want them. So now what?

  191. 191
    Owens mum says:

    I’ve packed his arm bands.

  192. 192
    Gerald Ratner. says:

    Tell me about it.

    It’s total crap.

  193. 193
    8umboy 8illy Hague says:

    Oh yes!

  194. 194
    Dick Droxford says:

    Actually, no Fat Ladies now. Do try to keep up…

  195. 195
    Táxpáyér says:

    Say hi to Huma.

  196. 196
    Oz First XV Rugby League Thugs says:

    Come outside and say that yer whingeing pom

  197. 197
    Me says:

    No…she just prepared the ground work.

    “My greatest legacy was New Labour”

    You really do believe in the LibLabCon pantomime.

    How sad.

  198. 198
    too late mate says:

    Isn’t this what Miliband should have been
    claiming yesterday?

  199. 199
    Táxpáyér says:

    Just walk past the bookies.

  200. 200
    Cinna says:

    He’s a tw@t. One of the biggest ripoffs ever are annuities. I finally got that message 20 years ago. Seems that Socialists and bankers/financial service companies are at one with that…people can’t be trusted with their own money. For the one it’s their profit they are concerned about and for the other it’s the fact that they would rather spend it on the feckless, work shy and immigrant population.

  201. 201
    NE Frontiersman says:

    91:Seconded; all they need to do is repeat endlessly Miliband saying that a tax reduction was a gift of government money, and Cameron’s (for once) killling reply.
    The catch is that I think Miliband really meant it, and Cameron didn’t.

  202. 202
    Táxpáyér says:

    If this is a success, I’d hate to see a budget failure.

  203. 203
    how about says:

    Perhaps when his grandchildren start being
    pushed into safe seats the locals can ask them?

  204. 204
    Evan Davis - BBC shirt-lifter says:


  205. 205
    George Osborne says:

    62. Turn on the Screw

  206. 206
    Oz First XV Rugby League Thugs says:

    Your Millliipeed is a blizzarding idiot who should be confined to the attic.

  207. 207
    try again says:

    Sorry to disappoint but it hasn’t fucked the budget.

  208. 208
    Mr Tony says:

    Hodges – there’s some shit up my crack. Lick it out, there’s a good fellow.

  209. 209
    Larry the Cat says:

    Number 10. Cameron’s Den

  210. 210
  211. 211
    The 4 effs says:

    Axeman, the first ‘f’ of 4 when I was a lad is for ‘find’ em

  212. 212
    FFS says:

    100% guaranteed to be a bumboy then.

    Chin up.

  213. 213
    Diane, Research Cause & Effect says:

  214. 214
    Táxpáyér says:

    I’d have thought a firm were the workers earn most of the turnover was to be celebrated not castigated.

    Anything else just looks like envy.

  215. 215
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:

    He did but no-one pays any attention after our Stealth Taxes.

  216. 216
    Londoner says:

    There are so many. There must be 20+ bookies within a mile of my place, when there were only about half a dozen befoer the 2005 Gambling Act

  217. 217
    Bingo Tax says:

    Just like the pasty tax didn’t fuck up that other budget. By tea time pictures of the Labour leadership visiting Bingo Halls will be in all the papers.

  218. 218
    FFS says:

    Surely it has something to do with their bellends?

  219. 219
    Ed Balls says:

    Legs Eleventy

  220. 220
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    I believe that labour are liars and hypocrites, but thanks for telling me what I believe.

  221. 221
    Malcolm Rifkindstein says:

    Many a true word is said in jest.

  222. 222
    Angela Eagle says:

    I have bingo wings.

  223. 223
    Fitba loonasy says:

    .. and it is the fucking brain dead idiots who infest these places that are stupid enough to pay those silly prices for their tickets. Time to increase the dole money or they won’t be able to afford the tickets any more.

  224. 224
    Fitba loonasy says:

    Plus, there is a major difference between ‘earning’ and ‘being paid’.

  225. 225
    #harrietharmanresign says:

    4,000 x £1000 a pop = £4m in total

    Just feel the enrichment.

  226. 226
    Fishy says:

    So why did your lot turn a blind eye to it all?

  227. 227
    A Dodding Nonkey says:

    .. and stop nodding like a fucking oil well lift pump.

  228. 228
    Vlad the Loudhailer says:

    No I came last in the spellcheck race!

  229. 229
    Táxpáyér says:

    They are both mentioned by someone who wears a tin foil hat.

  230. 230
  231. 231
    Anonymous says:

    Allegedly they are partial to tapas…..

  232. 232
    Aye aye sir says:

    You mean: Many a true word is spoken. Ingest.

    Zat iz ein order.

  233. 233
    also says:

    Osborne’s line comparing Miliband to King John- a weak
    leader who stabbed his brother in the back was a cracker.
    The public need reminding how untrustworthy Miliband is.

  234. 234
    WTC Building 7 says:

    Two fat choos, 9/11

  235. 235
    The cat came back.. says:

    I think you’ll find that is called the 02 arena now…

  236. 236
    Occam's razor is still sharp says:

    Packys have blown it up, probably crew, and it is at the bottom of the ocean.

  237. 237
    hang about.. says:

    Is that Emily Thornberry?

  238. 238
    Cornish pasty says:

    We don’t want them either.

  239. 239
    Aye aye sir says:

    Why can’t you leave them? Just walk out and shut the door behind you.

  240. 240
    Dickie Bird (Used to live with his Mum) says:

    Ayup lad

  241. 241
    don't forget says:

    Lefties see pension funds as a pot of gold ready to be stolen.

  242. 242
    Táxpáyér says:

    Er. she had interests rates held high to squeeze out inflation.

    That’s the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of what’s happening now.

    This is Brown’s insanity of debt created money velocity instead of work(comparative advantage) created money velocity.

    Brown though debt was free-lunch. He was wrong (as on everything else).

  243. 243
    nell says:

    Quite!!! If it was 4000 since 2009 how many were there during the 13 years of labour terror? and why didn’t they do something to stop it?

  244. 244
    John Prescott's granddad says:

    I beg to differ.

  245. 245
    Moollah Omah says:

    You can’t treat it

    Once the button has gone, there is no going back

  246. 246
    nell says:

    Heard bullyballs on radio this morning muttering something about ‘cost of living crisis’ and ‘ its hurting but not working’

    He sounded rather unconvincing and depressed – what happened to his flat lining and triple dip ??

  247. 247
    Eye Rate Hicewaif says:

    Bloody cheeky sod! Don’t you remember that “Hands that do dishes can be soft as your face with mild green furry likwid?”

  248. 248
    Moley says:

    Labour are absolutely right to be concerned about people squandering their money and leaving themselves penniless; however the group of people who cannot be trusted is a small one, consisting only of members of the last Labour Government.

    We know this is a concern for Labour MPs, because they have said so.

    Maybe Ed Balls should ask the Citizens Advice bureau to set up a special unit to help Labour MPs and leave the grown ups to act responsibly as they always have?

  249. 249
    The cat came back.. says:

    I thought critics were the masters of sarcasm…

  250. 250
    Most people who think they are working class aren't, they are just chavscum says:


    Ever seen a dictionary?

    Run along, little man. Don’t be late for the shift-change at the pit!

  251. 251
    Beer Monster says:

    After drinking 300 pints, you get one free. What’s not to like

  252. 252
    Nigel Lawson says:

    Debt and deficits do not matter


  253. 253
    Eye Rate Hicewaif says:

    Yup, a neat trick to increase the tax take. Before, annuity withdrawal was taxed at 55% – so very few people withdrew cash, so ergo not much loot for the Treasury. Now, taxed at [only!] 20%, lots of people will rush off and withdraw some cash, so lots of lovely 20%s in place of hardly any 55%s.

    Geddit now?

  254. 254
    UN Observer says:

    US Ambassador to the UN says Russians are “thieves”

    Surely the same applies to Ysrael?

    Is the US blind?

  255. 255
    nell says:

    militwit reverted into a class warfare rant yesterday caused by the shock that all his dire economic predictions about the coalition’s handling of the economy had just been disproved in one fell swoop.

    He was the epitomy of a headless chicken.

  256. 256
    Gewgel maps says:

    Please note that the M103 is a cul de sac.

  257. 257
    nell says:

    Indeed they should bring back gordon who, according to bullyballs at the time, had two brains both of them economically superior to anyone else in the world.

    And look what economic utopia he left us in!!

  258. 258
    nell says:

    Well at least it wasn’t barrosso of the EU lecturing the russians on democracy!

  259. 259
    eye watering says:

    errr…390 at my watering hole

  260. 260
    eye watering says:

    furry “likud”

  261. 261
    Putin on the Ritz says:

    Yeh it’s working real well in North Korea and Venezuela

    provided you don’t wanna eat

  262. 262
    nmj says:

    When is Hell going to freeze over?

  263. 263
    Human Rights Don't Apply To Some People says:

    Because they believe in it. More of a scandal are the vastly greater numbers of young boys who are also subjected to genital mutilation.

  264. 264
    Everyone in Mexico says:

    That’s what we think about the USA.

  265. 265
    All at sea says:

    Let’s just round the last load of Labour MPs all up, put them on an old ferry, tug them out to the middle of the Atlantic and leave them there

  266. 266
    Anonymous says:

    First XV rugby league…..First XIII surely?

  267. 267

    If that arsehole ever said to me he knows better than I do about how to spend my own money, his life expectancy would shrink to about three seconds from the moment he said it .

  268. 268
    RightwinggitRedux says:

    Boson, peasant.

  269. 269
    Gewgel maps says:

    Made in Karachi? Think about it….

  270. 270
    ... and so say all of us says:

    Fucking sticky fingers. Obvious innit?

  271. 271
    Leading Trombonist says:

    Are they made of finest brass?

  272. 272
    Leading Trombonist says:

    or a spot of real revolution a la francais, peut-etre?

  273. 273

    Get it right all of you it’s one penny off the TAX, not a penny off the price of a pint , the real importance is the end of the duty escalator put on alcohol by LABOUR in order to appease the miserablist temperance arseholes .[for health reasons ]

  274. 274
    Leading Trombonist says:

    Sir Wodney, Your gran would have been fucking livid if he had doubled the tax on her weekly winnings!

  275. 275
    Jack Ketch says:

    Bosun Higgs? Was he on the good ship Venus in charge of Roger the Cabin Boy?

  276. 276
    Chop chop snip snip says:

    .. and according to her that is just LONDON’s hospitals. What about all the rest in mozzie, and, for the 4x2s the east London, heartlands? Must be approaching 7 figures by now given their rate of multiplication. Perhaps the Hippo can ask Mr Burn’em as he might know something. No wonder it is rumoured that surgeons always get the biggest tips…

  277. 277
    Would you like a flake with that, Sir? says:

    The only ‘triple dip’ he knows anything about is to be found at the ice cream counter of Bert O’Reilly’s emporium.

  278. 278
    Positive thinker says:

    Maybe this explains what all these mozzie wimmin are such a pain in the backside.

  279. 279
    Positive thinker says:

    *why, not what

  280. 280
    Positive thinker says:

    …after pulling the plug out of the keel, of course.

  281. 281
    Not many will understand this comment says:

    careful, or I will send the boys round to RachaBite you on the bum.

  282. 282
    Jack Ketch says:

    Why not just do a Putin? Just move some handy lads with automatic weapons into the appropriate constituencies and have a snap election the following day?

  283. 283
    Not many will understand this comment says:

    Did the US Ambassador also happen to mention that the regime now in power in Kiev are there because they forcibly deposed the properly elected ex-President?

    No, thought not.

  284. 284

    Just help me explain to the rest of ‘em !

  285. 285
    Jack Ketch says:

    I was thinking the same the other day after some Laborious Twat appeared on TV spouting the usual nonsense–I then pondered on BBC paycheques too, “Newsnight” alone has a front-man/woman talent bill of about 2.5 million per annum and only attracts some 100,000 viewers–tops. Their head of commissioning gets 250k per annum, yet apparently does no commissioning. We could add in council bosses and ex-cabinet ministers and civil servants who get “consultancy” jobs related to their earlier employment.

  286. 286

    Apart from the cost to the taxpayer why should any one in ‘authority ‘ give a rats arse how the muzzies treat their own girls, because sure as hell they didn’t give a shit how they treated ours in places like Rochdale , Oxford and Rotherham.

  287. 287
    geordieboy says:

    You can trust Labour to spend your money on freebies, benefits, pet projects, expenses, jolly junkets to warm climates and party coffers,

  288. 288
    geordieboy says:

    and a xxxx to you to.

  289. 289
    geordieboy says:

    And if you stack all the Daily Express pages on the weather they will reach 40 feet high.

  290. 290
    millipede his panzer-gain says:

    ..and whilst you were still probably wetting your bed at night, some of us now just 65-ers had already paid in best part of 10 years of hard graft into the state system and were saving hard for our first properties, in addition to paying in additional pension contributions, rather than P*ss them against a wall, to provide for a better long term for ourselves and future families. But now, according to you, we cannot be thought of as being responsible enough to look after all that money now, after all those years of saving?
    Well yeah! Blair, Brown, Balls & Co knew all about financial responsibility, didnt they??
    Hence the 13 yr mess that they created yet, but to this day ever accept ANY responsibilty for. It ever there was an admission of the spendthrift Britain that Liebor created, it came from your lips today Sir!

  291. 291
    Jim says:

    I don’t think they should be advocating/advancing the taking of any drugs, especially one as pernicious as alcohol.

    Why do politicians revel in being seen to be good, honest drug users, or supporting other drug users?

    When is he gonna knock a penny off smack and E’s?

  292. 292
    They nicked my idea says:

  293. 293
    Tom Catesby. says:

    What the f*ck as it got to do with all of these bastards what i choose to spend my money on? That is what little is left after I have paid through taxation, direct or indirect to support these superannuated crooks and wasters, cheeky arrogant bastards.

  294. 294
    Tom Catesby. says:

    So do I, unfortunately the death of the English pub is coming due to the expense of the pint these days, it’s a pity.

  295. 295
    Keep buying those fags. says:

    Good on em! the tax has got to come from somewhere, If we all stopped betting, smoking and boozing, the bastard government would have next to f^ck all left to tax, christ knows what the tax on petrol and incomes would have to be

  296. 296
    Tom Catesby. says:

    Is she the one now described as, ‘a feminist author?’

  297. 297
    broderick crawford says:


  298. 298
    Sir Roger de Senseless says:

    No, actually, there aren’t any any more.

    It was sad to hear of the passing of the second one.

    I remember when they started out all those years ago. Nobody had heard of them; they were showbiz unknowns. Then they got bigger and bigger and suddenly they were huge.

  299. 299
    Sir Roger de Senseless says:

    Of course you can’t trust the buggers to spend it wisely. Just get ‘em to save it and then we can spend it for ‘em.

  300. 300
    Tom Catesby. says:

    If Scotland votes yes in the referendum and subsequently gets the boot from the EUSSR, so it will no longer be a member state. Will that mean any Scottish person living in England will not be allowed to vote and will not be allowed to stand as a candidate in and English election (in so far as anybody will take any notice of the law, as in the case of unlawful postal voting applications for example)?

  301. 301
    Tom Catesby. says:

    Are they called ‘tapas’ in Portugal?

  302. 302
    People are sheeple & TV, media and the internet are the Shepherds says:

    Baaaaah! Baaaaaah!

  303. 303
    Trotsky's Ice Pick says:

    GO in UKIP colours = another ballsup….

  304. 304
    Yorkshireman says:

    If it flies, floats, or fucks, rent it

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