January 22nd, 2014

Burley Report Findings in Full

Following the conclusion of the Nazi uniform stag party case in France yesterday, the Tories have released their report into MP Aidan Burley. Here are its findings in full.


  1. 1
    Tooth fairy says:

    Sounds like the French should issue an European Arrest Warrant for him and his party.

    • 4
      Ed Balls says:

      Ed Balls

      • 18
        RomaBob.... Beeg Issue, Beeg Issue! says:

        Do I recall seeing a photo of Herr Balls in a Nazi uniform?

        • 25
          Sir William Wayde says:

          No, it was German army uniform, not a Nazi one.

          • Hugo Boss says:

            All my creations.

          • M­a­­q­bo­­ul says:

            And anyway, this was at uni when Balls was a Tory.

          • Bilda Berger says:

            I still maintain that if Hugo Boss had decided the Wermacht should be clad in cardigans and slippers, the invasion of Poland (and hence the ultimate rise of the EU) would never have happened.

          • Psyche the Dog says:

            M, that is true according to Wikipedia, “Balls joined the Labour Party in 1983 whilst still at school.[4] While at Oxford he was a partially active member of the Labour Club, but also signed up to the Conservative Association, “because they used to book top-flight political speakers, and only members were allowed to attend their lectures” according to friends.[7] He was a founding member of the all-male drinking club, The Steamers and suffered embarrassment when a contemporary photo of him wearing Nazi uniform appeared in the papers” both Liebore and Cons, maybe like B’Liar keeping his powder dry before jumping. A lot of this Burley business really stands on whether he knew it was going to be a Nazi themed stag party in view of his position as a Con MP.

          • Jack Boot says:

            Millions of people in this country suffered and have lost family members because of the Nazis inspired Germans, but they can still manage to attend a fancy dress party or watch an episode of ‘Allo ‘Allo without contriving to break down in to political motivated faux hysteria.

      • 35
        Flat-liner says:

        I am saying nothing.

      • 119
        Jack Ketch says:

        Only Russell Brand and ignorant members of “Let’s keep the Holocaust financially viable” crowd believe that Hugo Boss designed “Nazi” uniforms. The Black & Silver SS kit was designed by Karl Diebitsch and Walter Heck, neither of whom worked for Boss. Boss was just a factory owner who mass-produced uniforms, including the quite unsexy ones for postmen and Berlin tram conductors.

    • 5

      They should have dressed up as NKVD commissars. No one would have taken offence at that.

    • 26
      Verboten says:

      The Germans lost the war and France was their concubine. Time they moved on and stopped harassing British Stag parties.

      • 37
        M­a­­q­bo­­ul says:

        Quite. They were quite happy to have thousands of Germans in uniform sitting in France for several years while they did fuck all about it.

    • 56
      CYNICAL OLD GIT says:

      While he is on the arranged visit to Auschwitz he might also feel compelled to visit the forest at Katyn the scene of Soviet mass murder, or take a trip to the Russian Arctic where millions died in the Gulags.

  2. 2
    unnatural weather says:

    we are here, waiting.
    We are always here, all we can do is wait with patience, our love is boundless, our patience is unlimited.
    3 generations, 10 generations it makes no difference, time passing can only bring us closer because we are the same.
    grasp the opportune time in history, come back to our bosom.
    Join with us and affirm our common destiny. negotiate a new UNITED Kingdom outside of the EU

  3. 3
    Village Idiot says:

    …..Nowadays in this free country,it is unwise to wear a german military costume,to say anything in a religious vein,to make gestures of many sorts,to be on twitter for fear of offence,to hold views that do not conform to either the EU or to attack lefty thinkers,who ,of course,are always right,and ,whatever you do,do not offend or touch a women!! FREEDOM….FFS

    • 41
      Moral Creep says:

      Sanctimonious twats rule the roost and freedom of expression has been abolished without so much as a whimper.
      Freedom, includes the freedom to offend. There should be no right not to be offended.
      I am so sad for my country and what has become of it!

      • 64
        Mike Hunt says:

        Well said that man.

      • 97
        General Pinochet says:

        What’s wrong with Nazi uniforms anyway. Back in Chile…..in the good old days, we had some lovely uniforms. No one complained……………………….

    • 65
      Bemused says:

      I think it is OK to draw the line at touching a woman when its not wanted, but if you wanted to buy one of the internet they’d be down on you like a ton of bricks and if you said “Well, it’s legal and she was up for it and I only did it so I didn’t touch women that didn’t want to be touched” they’d say that was no excuse.

      Furthermore, these self-appointed guardians of what they perceive to be morality are invariably atheists that have nothing to back them up but their own opinions.

      • 93
        S. G.øllymøre says:

        6th attempt at posting.

        The man that beat U.l.r.i.k.a. In a pub brawl was arres.ted in Oz in Nov 2005 for calling a customer in a bar a påkky and a w.ø.gg and starting a drunken brawl with other customers.

        He was shouting ‘Do you know who I am’ as he was bundled into the squad car.

        And he moans and whines like the little bit.ch that he is when someone calls him something similar on titter.

        Not his fault though, he’s depres.sed.

        • 99
          S. K.øllymøre says:

          My favourite way to start a night out is to racially abuse people whilst moaning about being racially abused.

          My favourite song is Smack my bitch up, by Prodigy.

          Got to go (døgging), feel a bit sad.

        • 108
          moderate me would you? says:

          The man’s a c*u*n*t. A totally gifted footballer and threw it all away. If he’d put in any practise at all he’d have been a Ronaldo or a Messi. He’d have been a global brand with supermodel girlfriends, fast jets and yachts. But he was just too fucking arrogant to listen to sense.

          And now he’s whining because somebody said something mean on Twitter about him.

          What a stupid fucking arsehole.

          What a fucking waste.

          It must kill him to finally realise that all his old coaches were talking sense.

          Ha, good enough for him.

          • Mr K0llym0re. says:

            I’m going to make a police report because you said something unkind to me.

            My feelings are far more important than free speech.

            I have realised that, if I keep being a twat, people will keep calling me a twat, and because I’m part black I can pretend that it’s because I’m part black, and maintain a profile in the media that is totally unjustified and undeserved, and perhaps get to head some anti-racist (anti-white) FA campaign, like my fellow racial martyr and racist, Reo F.erdinand.

            Oooh, I feel depressed.

          • Fly on the wall says:

            Don’t live in Tottenham or Croydon by any chance, do you?

  4. 6
    Mr Potato Head says:

    There is big difference to me in having a joke with women and groping them. Obviously the Lib Dems (and much of the mainstream press) think so too. Jokes are much worse with them.

    • 50
      Pompey Voter says:

      Talking of which – regular readers of this column will surely be interested to know that the Pascoe Report into Handy’s behaviour has surfaced on the internet – despite a vote yesterday by his Liberal Democrat colleagues on Portsmouth City Council to keep it secret. http://sdrv.ms/1jvCDaf

      • 60
        Up Pompey says:

        We the councillors of Portsmouth City Council vote unanimously to ban the internet world wide.

      • 95
        moderate me would you? says:

        If I click on the link am I breaking the law?

      • 98
        Magna Carta says:

        Page 1-He’s a “Commander of the British Empire”-words fail me………………….

      • 106
        davemcwish says:

        Conclusions #1 should lead to Handycock being booted out. What is it with these Lib Dems and turning a blind eye to alledged sexual behaviour ?

        • 134
          jail them , then lessons WILL be learned. says:

          All we get from our political classes are cover ups and fudge. What a grubby little country we have become.

    • 101
      S. K.øllymøre says:

      If you hit women they respect you more.

  5. 7
    David Cameron's gut says:

    Nazi’s in France : the science is settled, must be global warming

  6. 8
    The Bottle Fed Triplet says:

    “Stupid and offensive” Yep, that sounds like many politicians. Did he think he was a TRAFO?

    OT but, it always tickles me that the BBC employs left leaning “comedians” for their radio programmes who harangue the listener with their political philosophy from the comfort of a warm, dry studio. I find it ironic that the cosy metropolitan coterie, including the highly paid son of a Bishop and well off blokes called Hugo, Miles and Jeremy, should shove a left wing agenda over the airwaves at the ordinary working licence fee payer.

  7. 9
    Aaron D Highside. says:

    Is this a Little Britain script?

  8. 10
    We"'ve gone mad says:

    When I were a lad fancy dress in N@Zi uniform was just a bit of fun and no one got wound up about it and tried to find issues that were not intended.

    Yet in these strange times fancy dress is politically sensitive. Is it because of the EU who like to imprison people for taking the Mick out of the Germans?

    • 105
      Constable PC says:

      How dare you denigrate the Oirish with that racist phrase!

    • 131
      Jack Ketch says:

      It’s because so many leading continental politicians have had DNA tests and have found that Grandmama wasn’t totally truthful about how she survived the occupation.

  9. 12
    Mr Chamberlain says:

    I have here the full report, signed by Herr Hitler…

  10. 13
    Nick Clegg and his 29 SpAd's says:

    Maybe he can take David Ward with him to save some of the hardworking taxpayers money?

  11. 14
    so What? says:

    Err. He wore fancy dress at a stag do. What is the problem?

    • 30
      Max Mosely says:

      Herr Burley should have the whip removed.

    • 38
      Paniagua V5.1 says:

      I agree, if he had gone dressed as a clown no one would have noticed or cared.

      • 89
        Bilda Berger says:

        Possibly because that’s the clobber he wears to go to work, along with all the other MPs.

        • 112
          moderate me would you? says:

          You must be thinking of the state opening of Parliament and all the Lords and Black Rod and all that dressed in their Ruritanian outfits.

          • Fly on the wall says:

            men in tights. They must feel really at home to be able to dress like that officially!

          • Psyche the Dog says:

            Don’t you think the Two Fawkeses would look sweet in tights, come to think of it, do they make them big enough or would they have to be specially made.

  12. 15
    M­a­­q­bo­­ul says:

    How do such incredibly crass, self-centered and insensitive people become MPs ? Alas, it is a prerequisite for the job.

    • 207
      Psyche the Dog says:

      O couse it is M., they chosen because they talk the talk but not necessarily walk the walk, it goes for all parties.

  13. 16
    M­a­­q­bo­­ul says:

    Anyway, so no pressure on the LibDems to release the report on Handycock ?

    • 111
      Hancock is an effing disgrace says:

      It’s leaked. See above.

      Isn’t the tintranet wonderful? That’s why they want to shut it down.

  14. 17
    Frau Merkel says:

    Achtung! Germany calling, Germany calling!

    Ve did not startz ziz investigation by invadingz Poland !

    • 117
      Go figure says:

      We were so upset that Germany invaded Poland that we used it as an excuse for war.

      At the end of the war, we liberated Poland by allowing Russia to invade and subjugate it for 50 years.

      • 120
        Go figure again says:

        Then we allowed the Polish to invade us.

      • 197
        Military Genius says:

        How do suppose the allies could stop the several hundred divisions strong Red Army from occupying Poland ? Ask them nicely to leave ?

        • 198
          Go figure says:

          So it was all a big waste of time, money, effort, energy and life then.

          Best not to have bothered really.

  15. 20
    cep says:

    Does Ed Balls have an opinion on this shocking outrage..?

  16. 22
    Sir William Wayde says:

    Readers may like to know that the original SS uniforms were made by Hugo Boss, whose shops and products adorn our malls today. Herr Boss was an enthusiastic Nazi.

    • 27
      Cathy Ashton EU High Rpresentative on Foreign Aaffairs,Protege of Gordon Brown says:

      With a gifted flair for fashion.

    • 34
      Hugo says:

      I am the Boss

    • 36
      cep says:

      Russell Brand reminded us of this fact, whilst wearing a Hugo Boss jacket.

      • 122
        Not remotely funny or talented says:

        It’s a shame the Nazi’s are a bit thin on the ground, because Brand would be one of the first tossers against the wall.

      • 130
        Anonymous says:

        Russell brand also calls for a revolution whilst hanging out with Holywood A Listers and cramming his bank accounts full of money.

  17. 23
    Andrew Efiong says:

    A long-winded way of saying he’s a plonker.

    I wonder, is there anyone in the Labour Shadow Cabinet, perhaps a senior figure who is struggling to save his career right now, who has dressed up as a Nazi?

  18. 24
    Cathy Ashton EU High Rpresentative on Foreign Aaffairs,Protege of Gordon Brown says:

    I am here in Montreaux chairing the Syrian Peace negotiations together with those other world recognised figures Baroness Amos,and William Hague so we have a great team,we are of course dening that this war is an Islamist war with nothing to do with Western Europe but that will not deter myself,Valeri or Willie.We also have a You Gov poll which identifies me as a diplomat of the highest renown.

    • 173
      Anonymous says:

      Who has ever voted for Ashton or Amos ? Democracy my arse.

    • 184
      JH32840932325 says:

      We should be doing everything in our power to expand this war and provide them with enough basic weapons to carry on killing each other for years to come.

      Every cancer carries the seeds of its own destruction, and the Sunni/Shia thing is just the ticket to muzzle Islam.

      Sending people as fucking useless and Amos and Ashton sounds like a good plan.

      • 186
        Non taxable pikey says:

        Its been muzzling them for over 1300 years so far. It is obvious that we have not provided enough weapons, send some more immediately.

  19. 28
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:

    Today is a good day to bury Lard Rennard bad news.

  20. 29
    The fourth Reich. says:

    Will the EU arrest people for dressing up as their Commissars next?

  21. 31
    Jerry says:

    For you Tommy MP, ze career is over!

  22. 33
    Herman van Rumpboy says:


  23. 40
    Jess The Dog says:

    So whatever happened to those Standards In Public Life? Nolan or someone? Or is that the singing sisters?

    Seems like a thorough inquisition Did Burley’s butler ask the questions?

    I don’t care about people dressing as Nazis or encouraging others to do so. But MPs can’t do it..sorry, but it goes with the job. And if they don’t like it they can fuck off…

  24. 44
    Call me Dave, A total utter failure says:

    My kind of people

  25. 45
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    Nick Clegg has a point.

  26. 48
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

  27. 49
    Dontvoteforanyofthem says:

    How come a tory cannot wear a national socialist uniform in jest, yet a real socialist like Ed Balls can get away with it?

    Political correctness gone mad!

  28. 51
    Potty Toynbee says:

    Why did Burley’s friend dress as a National Socialist ?

  29. 53
    Righties says:

    Burley was simply reaffirming the fact that the Nazis were a party of the far right, as evinced by the frequent anti-semitic, anti-gay, anti-gypsy comments posted here.

    And now I’ll get replies saying it had Socialist in its name and therefore couldn’t have been right wing. That logic subscribes to the ridiculous notion that words never evolve or expand in meaning and remain the same throughout time. If you genuinely believe that, then you should all have no problem going round and telling everyone you meet that you’re gay. Surely they’ll understand exactly what you mean, since that word only has one definition.

    And let’s not ignore the fact that the Nazis were against communism and said so many times. And, of course, your friend, Viscount Rothermere wrote in his paper, the Daily Mail, that the Nazis were a very successful “party of the right” which young people should follow.

    As your other hero Ñ**k ****fin might say, sieg heil!

    • 62
      A Lefty says:

      Sod off you big nosed pikey poofta

    • 75
      moderate me would you? says:

      ‘evinced by the frequent anti-semitic, anti-gay, anti-gypsy comments’

      I think you’ll find ‘the party of the left’ found space for all those groups (and more) in one of their many Siberian gulags.

    • 87
      Ken Livingstone - Certified Leftie says:

      If you were a jëwish reporter I would compare you to a concentration camp guard.

    • 96
      Eric Hobsbawn ( genocide is a price worth paying) says:

      No you twat they were lefties because they believed in a collectivist society under a big authoritarian State. They differed from the commie collectivist state as they wanted to exclude on the basis of race as oppossed class.

    • 107
      M­a­­q­bo­­ul says:

      The Nazis were against Communism for the same reason Communism is against Nazism.

      It is because they are so similar and compete for the same dumb recruits. In other words, turf wars between two branches of the same odious all powerful state creed.

      PS Anti-semitism is now de rigeur for any aspiring lefty.

      • 125
        Righties says:

        Is that why that famous left wing publication the Daily Mail supported the Nazis and the Blackshirts here in the UK? And why the Mail said the UK should turn away all the Jèwish refugees fleeing Nazi persecution?

        • 132
          moderate me would you? says:

          And how did the j**s thank us for taking in so many refugees?

          King David hotel.

          Thanks lads.

          • Righties says:

            You might want to direct your comment re the King David Hotel bombing to the host of this site who is vehemently pro-I*rael in all circumstances. I support the existence of I*rael but not its occupation of land it stole or of its violent history.

          • moderate me would you? says:

            That’s a bit ‘Through the Looking Glass’ isn’t it?

            Supporting the existence of Is*ra*el but not the land it’s actually situated in?

            How do the Chinese walls in your head cope with that?

          • Righties says:

            Basic History 101:

            The occupied territories are land it invaded in 1967 – i.e. post-the founding of the country – and has occupied ever since, not the land that constitutes the State of I*rael. There’s a good chap.

          • moderate me would you? says:

            ‘not the land that constitutes the State of I*rael’

            Ah yes. The ‘State of Is*r*e*al’. Remind me again, how did they come by that?

        • 143
          Eric Hobsbawn ( genocide is a price worth paying ) says:

          Just because the Daily Mail were as confused as you doesn’t alter the facts the Nazi ideaology is a big state collectivist one. It is a creature of the far left.

        • 154
          Eric Hobsbawn ( genocide is a price worth paying ) says:

          Oh and you mention the blackshirts. Well Mosley was a Fabian as were many of the upper classes who flocked to his side. If you follow his political sorjoun he starts of as a conservative , moves to Labour then becomes a Fabian before finally setting up the Blackshirts. In other words a complete drift from the centre right to the centre left to the far left and ultimately the extreme left.

      • 126
        Anonymous says:

        Trots fought against Leninists who fought against Stalinists and so it goes. The left are always at war with themselves that doesn’t mean they are not all of the left.

    • 115
      Correction says:

      N@zi party = National Socialist Party = Far LEFT = ED Miliband

    • 136
      unnatural weather says:

      “Burley was simply reaffirming the fact that the Nazis were a party of the far right, as evinced by the frequent anti-semitic, anti-gay, anti-gypsy comments posted here.”

      Do you perhaps have a little bit of difficulty communicating what it is that you want to say ?

    • 145
      JadedJean says:


      “And let’s not ignore the fact that the Nazis were against communism and said so many times.”

      So why did Stalin and Hitler sign the Anti Comintern Pact (Anti COMmunist INTERNational) before the start of the Second WW?

      You need to seriously start evaluating the difference betwen international socialism and national socialism. what you will find is that the international kind (or perhaps I could call it the cosmopolitan kind) is in fact far right.

  30. 54
    ████ 'changed my tune ' Hoon says:
  31. 55

    What should our reaction be to an MP who dresses up as Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus?

  32. 59
    Persona non grata says:

    Ramping up the rhetoric re: Syria now, especially that fool Kerry. Have they got Putin on board, are we going to witness regime change by force. Will it be legal?

    Camoron, Vague and Gove fully on board, with the experienced war criminal Blair directing operations in the background. no mention of course of the savages daily slaughtering of Christians across the region.

    • 67
      Fuck the LibLabCon says:

      Yes lots of chatter in the MSM about Syria again, no doubt TPTB are gunning for a second go.

    • 74
      Anonymous says:

      The gassing stunt didn’t work, so they’ve waited a few months for another go to con the public into supporting their war.

      Globalists and our friends of foreign countries are hell bent on getting their Syrian war.

      • 85
        Persona non grata says:

        Good speech by the Syrian Foreign Minister now, spelling out some home truths. I know who I believe. Fucking Ban Ki Twat, interrupting as some of this stuff might be resonating with the watching public from around the world.

    • 91
      moderate me would you? says:

      The Christians are getting a good going over in Iraq too. And Libya. And Egypt.

      If we’re going to be getting involved on behalf of the Christians then we should do so knowing it will only be interpreted one way by the religion of peace. But since they’re prone to interpret everything the same way that doesn’t really matter. What matters is that we go in fully prepared to do what we should, by now, know that they would do to us if the shoe were on the other foot.

      One question. These Syrian ‘insurgents’. Where are all their prisoners? They must capture some people alive, right? Where are they? There aren’t any, are there? They’re not taking any prisoners.

      And these are the people we’re shaping up to get involved with?

      Are we out of our fucking minds?

      • 102
        Anonymous says:

        Just as well there is nothing in wee willies personal life which could compromise him.

        • 144
          moderate me would you? says:

          There’s something in all those bastards lives that will compromise them. Which has to be why, when they’d clearly been given a ‘fuck off’ by the voters, they’re desperately coming back for another bite of the cherry.

          Why would anybody, who had suffered such a defeat, come back for more?

          To the rest of us, the voters, it’s water under the bridge. Done. Dusted. No hard feelings. An unnecessary war averted. Lessons learned from Blair’s Iraq madness. Good result all round.

          The Tories aren’t suffering for it in the polls. Politically, there is literally no reason to rake this up again. Yet there they are with their tongues hanging out, panting around Kerry like obedient little spaniels.

          What the fuck is going on?

        • 187
          I'm a 14 pints a day man says:

          What could possibly be compromising about taking another man’s throbbing cock up the shitter?

      • 193
        Non taxable pikey says:

        Don’t forget those Christians in Lebanon who are tooling up big time to take on Hezzbollocks.

  33. 63
    Righties says:

    Hey righties. Isn’t there a bit of a problem here, in that when this first came to light, Burley said he had no idea what was going to happen at the party and distanced himself from it, only for it later to emerge that it was Burley himself who hired the SS outfit for his friend’s stag do? Sieg heil!

    • 73
      R. Youshore says:

      Whatever you say.

      • 77
        Righties says:

        It’s on the record. Burley himself has admitted it, after initially denying it.

        • 81
          Bemused says:

          Ah, so he probably never did it then.

          Just made out he did it in order to cover up for one of his mates.

          What an all round good egg.

          I think we should vote for him.

    • 76
      Fuck the LibLabCon says:

      I can think a more interesting question to pose Mr Red team.
      Why are all the red, blue and yellow liberals of the declining West along with their MSM lickspittles so obsessed with the NAZI’s of 1930-40′s Germany?

    • 78
      Kay Burley says:

      Look, it was all a big mistake, I’m sorry and it won’t happen again.

      Next time I’ll wear a Miss Whiplash outfit, OK?

    • 79
      CYNICAL OLD GIT says:

      He has every right to wear what the fuck he likes ,it was a stag party , a pissup ,something you lefty faggots will never understand !

      • 116
        Righties says:

        Actually, it was the Jèwish Chronicle and other Jèwish outlets which complained about the uniform. As for calling me a faggot, I’ve noticed you have a bit of a preoccupation with gays in your comments. Protesting too much? Struggling with some feelings you’re finding difficult to accept?

    • 88
      Ken Livingstone - Certified Leftie says:

      If you were a Jëwish reporter I would compare you to a concentration camp guard.

      • 123
        Standard committee says:

        And we would rule that he made that remark in a personal capacity and should therefore continue to be paid at full whack.

    • 129
      Casual Observer 5 says:

      The problem is that he is being censured for dressing as a National Socialist, in a country which at present is very National Socialist, and the main charges being held against him are by Socialists.

      Socialism is the problem.

  34. 68
    Cathy Ashton EU High Rpresentative on Foreign Aaffairs,Protege of Gordon Brown says:

    Schrodingers Cat,a man entangled in his own verbosity!

  35. 69
    Magna Carta says:

    Parliament, Aljabeeba, the press. All full of PC Wankers.

    Stag do letting off Steam, taking piss out of war, a war which bankrupted us and cost countless lives, so I think if we can have a bit of a laugh at it, then others should shut the fuck up!!!!

  36. 92
    Nicolas Anelka says:

    What’s the problem?

  37. 100
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    What would cheese taste like in a post referendum Scotland?

    • 118
      Alex Salmond says:

      Scottish cheese will taste even better after Scotland leaves the UK, but horrible awful English cheese will still taste like shit.

    • 137
      Ed Miliband says:

      Cheese has become too expensive under the coalition government. If I am elected PM I will freeze the price of cheese for 20 months.

  38. 103
    Mr Potato Head says:

    Before any silly myths get started Ed Miliband has got two Balls.

    • 127
      moderate me would you? says:

      His brother had to get some mail-order kids though didn’t he? And Ned’s (now) missus didn’t put him down as ‘father’ on the birth certificates either did she?

      Just saying.

      • 133
        Casual Observer 5 says:

        His brother attempted a Handycock stunt on the Tube, but fell asleep.

        Enough said.

        And David is the smart and dynamic one.

        • 140
          The Labour Party says:

          Of course. That’s why we voted for David to be our leader.

          Damn those unions. If it hadn’t been for them, we’d have had a chance in 2015.

  39. 138
    Righties says:

    Righties, what if I told you there’s a place on earth where being gay is illegal and punishable by death, there are no blacks in the population, immigration is controlled to the point of virtually being zero, citizens are able to freely purchase guns, and wimmin are put in their place? Sounds like heaven on earth, right?

    It’s called Iran. Airport’s that way. Enjoy your flight.

    • 146
      Mong Watch says:

      I think you will find that S’audi A’rabia fits your description, as does Syr!a at the moment, and !raq.

      !raq : Blair’s vision for the future.

    • 148
      Righties are right, Lefties are mongs says:

      What if we told you that all your benny-money comes out of our salaries and Ed Miliband has a cunning plan to encourage righties to emigrate to lower-tax countries?

      Enjoy your nettle soup.

    • 151
      moderate me would you? says:

      Pyongyang’s that way.

      Enjoy your train-ride.

    • 162
      Bemused says:

      Typical left-winger, doesn’t know what he talking about.

      Firstly, there are black people in Iran, they are called Afro-Iranians and they are descendents of the Arab slave trade.

      Secondly they don’t execute people for being gay. They execute people for bum-sex. Bum-sex between a man and a woman is just as illegal in Sharia Law as bum-sex between two men.

      Thirdly, women are not “put in their place” in Iran. They are put in the wrong place. No rightie wants to see women completely covered up – that’s definitely heading in the wrong direction.

  40. 139
    And now for something much more important says:

    The Pascoe report into Mike Hancock MP in full.


    • 157
      Will Clegg actually do something now? says:
    • 177
      moderate me would you? says:

      The legal process will now swing into overdr*i*ve.

      Watch as whoever put it on the net is arrested. Watch as others who might, in their turn, re-post it are arrested.

      Take the law into your own hands would you?

      The law hates competition.

      Watch and learn.

  41. 141
    Pre PMQ Breaking says:

    In other news there are reports that another fully armed Russ!an warship has been parked off the UK coast again.

    Even if there were no such reports, you could lose your life as David Cameron has weakened the UKs defences so much that last time they were able to park up for a day or so before the response boat arrived.

    What is this useless bastard going to do in Parliament today ?

    • 175
      Bemused says:

      Not off the UK coast as such, but off the Scottish coast. Despite the fact that we have 6 destroyers and 13 frigates there were no patrol ships anywhere near Scotland. Nor were any aircraft scrambled, even though we have aircraft that could deal with a Russian warship if required. Also it presented no real threat – I mean, what was it going to do?

      Far be it from me to suggest that this has anything at all to do with the independence poll in September 2014, but its certainly put the wind up the Scots. Cameron seems to be saying “Oh look, if you became independent who would save you from the nasty Russians when all our ships are 600miles away”.

      Don’t blame him, but how did he manage to get the Russians to play ball, that’s what I would like to know.

      • 179
        moderate me would you? says:

        It’s all a bunch of willy-waving nonsense though. The Russians might want to make a point but, as you say, they’re not likely to invade Scotland from a single warship nor are they about to start shelling Dundee (although nobody would notice).

        If I were Scots or a Nat I wouldn’t give a shit about a Russian ship going about its business in international waters. If the Russians meant business they wouldn’t send a boat. They’d press a button.

      • 195
        Non taxable pikey says:

        Go and look at the shipping forecast FFS! S’ly storm force 10 imminent. ANY vessel has the right under SOLAS International law to take shelter from those conditions. If you think otherwise I can arrange with a fishing mate of mine in Peterhead to take you out for a nice boating trip.

  42. 149
    • 152
      David Cameron is a worthless sack of wank says:

      Why is that convicted criminal on the public payroll again ?

      • 160
        M102 says:

        The gist of the article is that Vince Fable is behind it. (Although I thought he couldn’t remember her).

        • 163
          David Cameron is a worthless sack of wank says:

          The buck stops at Cameron.

          It is well known that Cable is an untrustworthy piece of shit who should have been fired ages ago.

  43. 150
    Questions of our time says:

    Is Ralph Miliband the command that Justine uses when she wants Ed to vomit ?

  44. 156
    Did Harry do it says:

    just don’t use the N word

  45. 164
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    I think we must Frack in the grounds of Buckingham Palace.

    • 167
      The Queen, still pissed off about the unexpected Russ!an Christmas Gift... says:

      David. One would like a word. Now.

      • 204
        David says:

        Yes Ma’am, I’ll send Barosso immediately. Since your allegiance is now to him rather than us and the rest of the Commonwealth, I think you might have to wait a bit until he has finished his tea.

  46. 168
    RomaBob.... Beeg Issue, Beeg Issue! says:

    Hague presently pontificating about Syria….. who here gives a f*ck about Syria?

  47. 169
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    So if this Burley character is not a “bad man” who accepts that he was bang out of order why is he being treated like a naughty sixth former and sent on a compulsory fact finding visit to Auschwitz?

    PR gone mad .

  48. 170
    Righties says:

    Were any of you personal friends with Lord Boothby? Or Peter Righton? Attend any of their parties? Such butch heteros, flying the flag for those of us who despise gayers, hey? No woofters in our ranks! Only straight shooters like Derek Laud, Alan Duncan, Nigel Evans, Crispin Blunt, Leo Britain, Mike Portacabin, Ted Heath and Pete Lilo.

  49. 176
    Righties says:

    Righties, if Maggie was perfect, why did she never privatise the NHS and Royal Mail, recriminalise homosexuality, restore capital punishment and legalise the general availability and purchase of firearms? All things that many, if not all, of you want. Please don’t embarrass yourselves by saying lefties stopped her. She was the most powerful prime minister this country’s ever had who completely changed the nation and got her own way on everything, including the poll tax which many in her cabinet were against. She could’ve done all the above but didn’t.

    • 183
      moderate me would you? says:

      She was the most powerful prime minister this country’s ever had

      In terms of power Blair, with a 200 seat majority, trumped her hands down.

      And look what he did with it.

      Iraq war. Failed to sack the incompetent Brown. UK economic meltdown.

  50. 196
    Jimmy says:

    The bit about the Hitler on Sunday reporter demanding a nazi salute, is this a new thing or have they always done this?

  51. 199

    Wrists will be slapped. Really a load of fribbles, they should know that a joke is a joke, a pigs arse is pork, but that was not funny.

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Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Cathy Jamieson MP, Labour’s Shadow Treasury minister, commenting on Treasury analysis of the economic impact of tax changes…

“If the Treasury is looking at the economic impact of tax changes, then surely it should examine the impact of the rise in VAT and cuts to tax credits? George Osborne’s £12 billion VAT rise knocked confidence, helped to choke off the recovery and has cost families £1,350 over the last three years.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

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