November 12th, 2013

David Dimbleby’s Scorpion Tattoo

Clearly the only story this morning is David Dimbleby getting inked:

“You are only old once. I have always wanted a tattoo. I thought I might as well have it done now. It’s a dream come true for me. I thought it was wimpish having it just drawn on and I needed to man up.”

Following in the footsteps of George Orwell, Winston Churchill, Barry Goldwater and Cheryl Cole…

UPDATE: According to CNN, a scorpion tattoo is a “biohazard symbol” in the gay community for having HIV. Apparently the stinging tale of the scorpion represents the virus. Well that’s awkward.


  1. 1
    Shooty* says:

    Quick! Bandwagon for Mr Miliband!

  2. 2
    Dave Beckham says:

    Tats are so yesterday.

  3. 3
    average joanna says:

    Twat with a tat.

  4. 4
    Cymro oddi ar y llinell says:


  5. 5
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion &Kill All Eco-loons says:

    It’s all over for the ConDems, with skyrocketing energy bills tipping millions into fuel poverty and hordes of Romas flooding the country, driving down wages and driving up rents and class sizes and skyrocketing foreign aid, they will be swept away in the great electoral storm of 7th May 2015.

    Tick tock, tick tock.

    Vote early,vote often,vote UKIP :-)

  6. 6
    Camoron's Roma Apocalypse - coming to your town/village soon. says:

    The reversed letters G N O and M tattooed across his forehead?

  7. 7
    Richard Walker says:

    Most interesting thing about Dimblebore. Tattoo says it all.

  8. 8
    Ma­qb­­oul says:

    Are Roma (or Gypos as we used call them when I were a lad) combustible? That might solve two problems rather neatly.

  9. 9
    Camoron's Roma Apocalypse - coming to your town/village soon. says:

    I don’t think the Roma send their kids to school, which is one small mercy. And on another positive note, there’ll be lots more vacancies for security guards.

  10. 10
    Coeur_de_lion says:

    Ah, vote often. Advice that is taken quite literally in the less salubrious Labour wards in the city of my birth.

    Keeps the Posties busy though, so every cloud.

  11. 11
    the tatterati says:


  12. 12
    Sur Nob Skelpoff says:

    He’s getting this one next:It looks great, but it fails the sniff test.

  13. 13
    or.. says:


  14. 14
    Steve Miliband says:

    J E N I U S across his forehead

  15. 15
    Forthcoming announcements in chronological order says:

    “Terror suspects to be stripped of UK passports” – Theresa May
    “Not bloody likely!” – LimpDums
    “Certainly not!” – The EU
    “Terror suspects can keep UK passports” – Dave Camoron.

  16. 16
    John Bellingham says:

    Their caravans used to be. (Gypsy camp on A2 c.1966, Camp just outside Brighton c.1967, Gypsy Camp outside Lenham c. 1965). Petrol bombs or clumsy use of paraffin stoves–you decide.
    However they all live in council finded fixed properties these days. 100, 000 plus “Slovak” Roma in the UK–30,000 in the Medway Towns; none in work.

  17. 17
    Leige Asper says:

    I’d have written Marxism Is Slavery across the twat’s back.

  18. 18
    Unemployed yoof with an A* in GCSE English says:

    Evryone noes its spelled ‘jeaneyus’ innit.

  19. 19
    Jesu5, Mohammed and the rest says:

    HS2: Heseltine to liken project to ‘act of faith’

  20. 20
    An employer says:

    Come on! Who’d hire them?

  21. 21
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    Mid life crisis?

    Old life crisis?

    Self self indulgent self?

    I am her to report the news not make it?

  22. 22
    The old fart won't have to live with the consequences says:

    He really has lost the plot.

  23. 23
    And then says:

    Terror suspects blow up Canary Tower and HoP.
    Terror suspects now terrorists
    Terrorists jailed for life.
    Terrorists freed after serving 18 months
    Go back to 1.

  24. 24

  25. 25
    Harsh but fair says:

    And then inked a dotted line around his neck, with the words “cut along dotted line” underneath.

  26. 26
    And says:

    Sir David Beckham

  27. 27
    MARK OATEN it's the way i Smell e'm says:

    Where did they put the red rosette tattoo ?

  28. 28
    Mornington Crescent says:

    “The only story this morning”, eh? Depends which world you live in – the Westminster ‘politico-meejah’ world or, well, the real world.

  29. 29
    i want my money back says:

    A producer suggested Dimbleby have the tattoo while making a BBC series.
    Does that mean licence payers have paid for it?

  30. 30
    As the Americans would say, our system is ass backwards says:

    You left out:

    Terrorists freed after serving 18 months
    Terrorists get free 5 bedroom council house, housing benefit and Jobseekers Allowance

  31. 31
    Nature would kill these people says:

    The welfare state has a lot to answer for.

    (How did that guy get the points of the compass wrong?)

  32. 32
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    You cannot make someone stateless: it is against their Human Rights.

    Please do keep up.

  33. 33
    priorities, mate. says:

    Oh come on, like tens of thousands dying in a storm in like newsworthy! Hello?!

  34. 34
    kmc says:

    And, if so, will it be taxed as a benefit in kind?

  35. 35
    Bluto says:

    A scorpion seems less appropriate than a rubber chicken.

  36. 36
    Britain's New Middle East Peace Envoy says:

  37. 37
    the tatterati says:

    should members (sic) of the political caste have barcodes tattooed on their foreheads?

  38. 38
    I'm Voting UKIP says:

    Paid for by the BBC

    I wounder why he didnt get it on the LEFT shoulder

  39. 39
    Tom Catesby. says:

    According to Blunket they may be very combustable.

  40. 40
    Joe Public says:

    No. But if the tat proves troublesome, licence-payers become liable.

  41. 41
    I'm Voting UKIP says:

    A man who has never generated a £ in business acting on ‘our’, sorry HIS own behalf.

    Nothing more than a holiday for lazy, clueless Chukka

  42. 42
    the tatterati says:


  43. 43
    Looking into the future. says:

    Clothes peg manufacturers, lucky heather growers, crystal ball polishers.

  44. 44
    Billy Bragg says:

    Surprised he hasn’t come out with a tatoo of some sort of left-wing slogan. After all most of the ‘hand-picked’ audience and 2/3 of panellists are ALWAYS left-wingers.

  45. 45
    hang on a min says:

    I thought flying was supposed to be bad for the environment?

  46. 46
    Dan Archer. says:

    Lincolnshire cauliflower growers, but the Poles won’t like it.

  47. 47
    Are there No Limits to this Man's PR? says:

  48. 48
    Judicial Watch says:

    ‘No fool like an old fool’

  49. 49
    Bilda Berger says:

    Dimblebore assumes his rightful place among the ranks of the world’s morons.

  50. 50
    Vote UKIP - don't get Heir to Blair says:

    Tat for tit.

  51. 51
    Looking into the future. says:

    ‘Lots of vacancies for security guards’, that will mean their mates will be spared the trouble of having to actually break in to premises.

  52. 52
    Tom Catesby. says:

    Joining the Jihadis Chucky?

  53. 53
    FFS says:

    Can we make their state “antartica” instead? Or simply annouce their state as being Pakistan?

    Or maybe simply point out that “states” are a modern construct that has nothing to do with basic human rights and therefore we can bloody well do as we please with them.

  54. 54
    Ed Moribund says:

    When I walk from the tube to the office each day I hear some builders shout out
    “Oy! Wankkah!”

    I don’t know who they are yelling about, but it is a little intimidating.

  55. 55
    Toxic Labour for spongers, parasites and criminals says:

    I don’t understand this craze for getting slag tags or tramp stamps. these people must have giant inferiority complexes.

  56. 56
    Piss soaked tramp says:

    You talking about me?

  57. 57
    Alfyie says:

    It’s the British Obummer!

  58. 58
    Who removed that drain cover ? says:

    Many of them are self employed in the scrap metal trade…copper/lead and the like ….there’s one wagon that tours our locality daily with a very loud and annoying klaxon that will collect any unwanted scrap metal/old appliances etc and as the local council charges £25 to collect and dispose of they do a pretty good trade and although many are semi-illiterate there seems to be always an expenisive mercedes or 4 x 4 parked next to their £70k plus caravans and a big roll of readies in their pocket. It’s only us mugs that pay taxes etc

  59. 59
    Bollocks,,They are Stealing Fatbott. says:

  60. 60
    Ho Chi Minge says:

    Me love you long time!

  61. 61
    Ho Chi Minge says:

    Don’t hurry back.

  62. 62
    50 Shades of Gordon says:

  63. 63
    Cynic2 says:

    A measure of how low the BBC has sunk

  64. 64
    Ho Chi Minge says:

    Diane likes to grab a handful of pick n mix and run.

  65. 65
    The bottom line says:

    Maybe they are tax deductible

  66. 66
    how strange says:

    It’s funny how conversations about diversity always exclude white English people.

  67. 67
    Wait - what! says:


  68. 68
    Bill Quango MP - 8 says:

    He’ll be buying a Motorbike next.

  69. 69
    The artist formerly known as Matisse says:

    A tat? Oooh how unconventional. You webel you. You’ll be smoking next.

  70. 70
    rinky dinky says:

    I don’t really care what that twit does, I don’t watch the bBBC.

  71. 71
    Les Onions says:

    Nom de pipe

  72. 72
    The artist formerly known as Matisse says:

    You meant ‘waddle”not run but we all knew that. Not known as Diana Fatbutt for nothing.

  73. 73
    Pudsy Bear should get an ASBO says:


    Not that long ago the BBC would take a responsible role and not encourage youngsters to disfigure their bodies for life.

  74. 74
    Ed Moribund says:

    He needs to pledge to pay everyone’s energy bill.
    That’s what I did.

    The mugs, who were going to chuck me out, now think I’m great.

  75. 75
    Some people are never satisfied says:

    FFS only last week she was complaining about Food banks giving food away for free.

  76. 76
    What the racist slob forgets is.. says:

    Supermarkets were putting security tags on high value grocery products under the Labour government because chavs were stealing food.

  77. 77
    Wait - what! says:

    Maybe we can’t all put it on expenses poppet.

  78. 78
    White wash makers unite says:

    What do you expect, Liebour destroyed the Police force sorry service, turning them into tick box merchants and getting rid of real police and replacing them with plastic one’s seems even those have disappeared off the streets.

  79. 79
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    While Abbott steals from the tax payer. Abbott, you really are very stupid.

  80. 80
    The BBC says:

    Unless it’s female genital mutilation by the Islamic community, which is obviously OK because it’s part of their rich cultural heritage.

  81. 81
    Britain says:

    Good idea. Your work is done here.

  82. 82
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    BBC’s new programme is called Tattoo Time, hosted by Dumbhead Dimbleby.

  83. 83
    BBC Propaganda Tax Payer says:

    We’ll be buying a motorbike next

  84. 84
    Ed's mate Franky says:

  85. 85
    Disgruntled, of Redditch says:

    If Guido is going follow orders and link to every establishment-sponsored anti-UKIP article out there – such as the latest from the Speccie – then he’s not worthy of the name Guido, or worth reading anymore.

    I was at the latest meeting of my local branch, being a member, and it was a remarkable display of independent- yet like-mindedness around UKIPs policies, the leadership, and our own independence as a local branch. Don’t believe the lies.

  86. 86
    It's not too late to remedy this says:

    Sack him.

  87. 87
    Anonymous says:

    The eff nik cleansers even have their own gloating magazine. Unbelievable.

  88. 88
    British Bastard says:

    He never had the plot.

  89. 89
    Vince Cable says:

    I don’t remember Hollande

  90. 90
    Diane Abbott says:

    Chuka is a browning and not an unashamedly dark-skinned, Afro-centric man.

  91. 91
    Bruce says:

    I met you in Hanoi. You owe me $5 change.

  92. 92
    Chickens coming home says:

    2014 is going to be a real shit storm for the establishment:

    1) Roma invasion

    2) EU elections

    3) Scottish Independence vote

    4) 1914 ‘celebrations’

    5) Continuing economic, social and political break down across the country

  93. 93
    Someone says:

    Very true. I once raised the issue of how diverse South Lincolnshire was at a meeting about diversity at Scotland Yard, of all places. You could have heard a pin drop.

  94. 94
    But can he do this? says:

  95. 95
    Bob the Builder says:

    Call in tomorrow and we’ll explain.

  96. 96
    Kilroy-Silk says:

    Don’t be silly.

    If there is trouble in the ranks, it needs sorting, not hiding. The article linked to makes valid points, it will be interesting to read UKIP’s reply. Gaunty and Delingpole would have made good UKIP MPs.

  97. 97
    Bruce says:

    Dimbles isn’t really all that young.

  98. 98
    The Critic says:

    Why does Chuka constantly tweet his diary to the world? Who cares? A legend in his own air miles.

    who’s paying for the junket? Will Ed be demanding an enquiry?

  99. 99
    Has Gay Dimbleby got AIDS? says:

  100. 100
    Is he Common Purpose? He seems the type says:

    Heseltine never had ‘the plot’ in the first place. Poisonous and thoroughly untrustworthy individual.

  101. 101
    Prince Peter Kropotkin says:

    That is silly.

  102. 102
    Dimbers gay iCON says:

    This is true. There’s nowt better to put sprogs off getting a tat than some silly old fart from the BBC having one.

  103. 103

    It’s his gang tattoo for Common Purpose. check out Dave next time he’s papped on the beach.

  104. 104
    Ed Moribund says:

    Me neither.

  105. 105
    Village Idiot says:

    ……He could shake a mace though!!!

  106. 106

    WWI? Fair enough, they didn’t turn up for WWII.

  107. 107
    Le Sans Fois Gras et Champagne says:

    Nous preferons burning tyres to freezing les bills de EDF

  108. 108
    Ed Moribund says:

    What excuse can we think up for the demonstrable failure of lefty policies in France?

    Owen Jones is saying “they aren’t lefty enough” and that’s why France is in the sewer. But we have used that excuse about every lefty government. Including Maoism and communism.

  109. 109

    It’s been tried. Didn’t get Adolf very far.

  110. 110
    David Dimblebore says:

    Yes sir – you in the back row with the ugly wife and the stupid tattoo

  111. 111
    Disgruntled, of Redditch says:

    If there is trouble in the ranks, it’s for the ranks to sort out. That’s why you have party chairs, etc. The article is trying to make political capital out of what happens across the board, as if its particular to, and an indictment of, UKIP: “How Paranoia and Infighting are Tearing UKIP Apart”.

  112. 112
    FFS says:

    I see the French middle class are now asking themselves “Is racism really immoral?” and have come to the conclusion is isn’t. They are now throwing bananas at black ministers in Hollande’s government.

    Beginning of the end of the failed “melting pot” theory, I would say.

  113. 113
    Looking Ahead says:

    They’ll be standing as candidate MP’s in 2015.

  114. 114
    Weird Ed says:

    Hollande? Who’s he?

  115. 115
    I hate socialists. says:

    What a first rate prat.

  116. 116
    FFS says:

    They were applying to be MEPs, not MPs.

    I think they would make better MPs not MEPs, so maybe that was why they were turned down.

  117. 117

    ..and Pol Pot? Couldn’t get more lefty than that episode.

  118. 118
    Anonymous says:

    Old dame Nikki Campbell got VERY excited this morning on radio 5 when someone brought up Evan Davis’s Prince Albert when talking about male tattoo’s and body piercings.

  119. 119
    Duckboard says:

    Probably because WW1 took such a massive toll on them. And us, of course.

  120. 120
    FFS says:

    When it comes to the point where middle class people are throwing bananas at black ministers, you know the left have pushed people way too far.

  121. 121
    retrdEd Militwat says:

    How do I get on thith bandwagon??

  122. 122
    You ain't seen nothin yet says:

  123. 123
    PCSO Twitch says:

    They are sometimes seen, mainly during the mating season, crossing the High Street from their little ‘office’ to buy snacks in the ASDA opposite.

  124. 124
    Ex Cop says:

    NB ” High Value ”

    They don’t steal mince but whole legs of lamb!!!

  125. 125
    Dave Lee Travis is innocent says:

    Didn’t David Cameron send him packing when he visited London once?

  126. 126
    Ex Cop says:

    NB ” Fresh “…not frozen ( cheaper )

  127. 127
    Ex Cop says:

    If only this made a Guardian Headline

  128. 128
    Joyeux Noel et Bonne Année says:

    This Socialist tosspot thinks he is going to increase VAT in the New Year so that he does not miss the Budgetary deficit target of 3% by a country mile.

  129. 129
    Final Comment says:

    October 23 – November 21

    Scorpio is the eighth sign of the zodiac, and that shouldn’t be taken lightly — nor should Scorpios! Those born under this sign are dead serious in their mission to learn about others. There’s no fluff or chatter for Scorpios, either; these folks will zero in on the essential questions, gleaning the secrets that lie within. Scorpios concern themselves with beginnings and endings, and are unafraid of either; they also travel in a world that is black and white and has little use for gray. The curiosity of Scorpios is immeasurable, which may be why they are such adept investigators. These folks love to probe and know how to get to the bottom of things. The fact that they have a keen sense of intuition certainly helps.

  130. 130
    Vote UKIP - don't get Heir to Blair says:

    She could just as easily have said ‘Shop thefts rise as immigration continues’.

  131. 131
    Joyeux Noel et Bonne Année says:

    That excuse of a Minister of Justice wants to grant an amnesty to Trade Unionists who have inflicted criminal damage and threatening behavior during an industrial dispute.

    She also wants to decrease sentences because she says there is no money to pay for prison places.

    The color of her skin cannot hide this ineptitude.

  132. 132
    Casual Observer 3 says:

    They are just following the lead set in !taly.

  133. 133
    gildedtumbril says:

    UKIP(WHILE THEY STEAL) is a fake party for fools or deluded ones who lack the balls to vote for the only British party.
    Farrago and the revolting pillocks love the eu. It is the Orient Express of gravy trains. There is no way they want rid of it
    Use your brains for Christ’s sake..

  134. 134
    Maggie the dog says:

    One word knob!

  135. 135
    gildedtumbril says:

    …and another thing. Dimplebum is a marxist money puppet and odious and revolting to boot. The sooner he gets the boot the better. When assiduously queried on how he gets paid he replied”I get paid a fee”. What he meant, of course, was probably “My family Trust Fund gets paid a fee”.

  136. 136
    A four-by-two says:

    What is it about J’ews and tattoos?

  137. 137
    Wealthy Idiot Watch says:

    Perhaps this vile example of BBC “Royalty” could have WANKER tramp stamped across his forehead

  138. 138
    Jongleur says:

    You’re a poet and you don’t know it!

  139. 139
    (That's enough Eds, Ed!) says:

    He should have had a giant knob tattooed on his chest!

  140. 140
    Just Saying. says:

    If it bit him everytime he showed his socialist bias on QT then he would be dead in a few days. HMMM.

  141. 141
    Biased Broadcasting Corporation says:


  142. 142
    David Cameron says:

    I’m getting an enormous tattoo of the European flag. Only I’m having it tattooed on your arse.

  143. 143
    Anonymous says:

    The BBC strives hard to be all inclusive, was it on expenses?

  144. 144
    Reposession says:

    Chickens coming home to roost when interest rates rise, which they will.

  145. 145
    R Entboy says:

    Better looking than Willian Hague and probably doesnt have the same bad breath, on balance the scorpion would be preferable.

  146. 146
    (That's enough Eds, Ed!) says:

    Guaranteed to bring tears to the eye, what?

  147. 147
    Senior BBC Executive says:

    No. But when we put the Common Purpose implant in, which is compulsory here, unfortunately a scar was left and something was needed to cover it up.

  148. 148
    Just Wonderin says:

    Why did the N@zis tattoo numbers on the J*ws if their intention was to exterminate them?

  149. 149
    Wet and warm says:

    “Gaunty and Delingpole” – a pissed up gobshite and a limp wristed nancy boy.

    To believe that this pair of tossers would have made a good anything is risible.

  150. 150
    Dietary Adviser says:

    Have a banana dear, you could do with feeding up.

  151. 151
    I repeat says:

    It was his ‘Brown” moment. the man is obviously in Seine.

  152. 152
    Little Bo Peep says:

    Triad … and failed..

  153. 153
    Little Bo Peep says:

    Of course the taxpayers paid for it. Who do you think pays his wages and where do you think they get the money from in the first place.

    Brains going out of fashion again this week?

  154. 154
    Little Bo Peep says:

    Well let’s hope it’s on the next ferry into Dover – complete with a hold full of lovely yellow bendy fruit.

  155. 155
    Little Bo Peep says:

    … and why does he say ‘the middle east’ when what he means is izzrael?

  156. 156
    Little Bo Peep says:

    Indeed Dave did. Can anyone find that pic of the French dwarf “inspecting” a parade of the guards a few months ago? Is he actually taller than Senor Speeker?

  157. 157
    Has he seen the light the gormless pr@ says:

    Blunkett? hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

  158. 158
    Hopefully says:

    One way?

  159. 159
    Blobby biatch says:

    Do they not leave enough for fat piggy women Dianne? That your beef luv?

  160. 160
    Pr@ if ever there was 1 says:

    Please don’t forget the obnoxious M’ Allwrong.

  161. 161
    Your list forgot to mention says:

    Dianne going on a diet.

  162. 162
    Mr Stingleby Sir says:

    You need to return to the tattooist’s studio. You require two legs added to your presently deformed arachnid matey.

    More Jeremy Kyle that Question Time you fat overpaid oaf.

  163. 163
    Bet you're wishing you never made this public, dickhead says:

    And Dimbleby has 2 legs missing from his scorpion, so he can join this ranks of wankers.

  164. 164
    Silly Bugger says:

    There’s no fool like an old fool!

  165. 165
    Archie says:

    As any fule kno.

  166. 166


  167. 167
    Lord Mooncrater says:

    Adolf was a quitter. He never finished the job.

  168. 168
    Lord Mooncrater says:

    Hep C will finish the job. Get a tattoo, get Hep C.

  169. 169
    Lord Mooncrater says:

    He is taking time off from editing his Wikipedia entry for our benefit.

  170. 170
    Dogsbody says:

    How old are you, Dimbleby? Ever thought about what your esteemed father might say?

  171. 171
    Anonymous says:

    What a wazzock

  172. 172
    Anonymous says:

    A scorpion with only six legs. There’s not something you see every day…

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Alan Milburn says Labour’s scaremongering campaign for an unreformed NHS will not win election…

“It would be a fatal mistake, in my view, for Labour to go into this election looking as though it is the party that would better resource the National Health Service but not necessarily put its foot to the floor when it comes to reforming. Look, reforms are not easy, but the Labour Party is not a conservative party. It should be about moving things forward not preserving them in aspic. You have got a pale imitation actually of the 1992 general election campaign, and maybe it will have the same outcome. I don’t know.”

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