November 12th, 2013

David Dimbleby’s Scorpion Tattoo

Clearly the only story this morning is David Dimbleby getting inked:

“You are only old once. I have always wanted a tattoo. I thought I might as well have it done now. It’s a dream come true for me. I thought it was wimpish having it just drawn on and I needed to man up.”

Following in the footsteps of George Orwell, Winston Churchill, Barry Goldwater and Cheryl Cole…

UPDATE: According to CNN, a scorpion tattoo is a “biohazard symbol” in the gay community for having HIV. Apparently the stinging tale of the scorpion represents the virus. Well that’s awkward.


172 Comments

  1. 1
    Shooty* says:

    Quick! Bandwagon for Mr Miliband!

  2. 2
    Dave Beckham says:

    Tats are so yesterday.

  3. 3
    average joanna says:

    Twat with a tat.

  4. 4
    Cymro oddi ar y llinell says:

    Triad?

    • 147
      Senior BBC Executive says:

      No. But when we put the Common Purpose implant in, which is compulsory here, unfortunately a scar was left and something was needed to cover it up.

    • 152
      Little Bo Peep says:

      Triad … and failed..

  5. 5
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion &Kill All Eco-loons says:

    It’s all over for the ConDems, with skyrocketing energy bills tipping millions into fuel poverty and hordes of Romas flooding the country, driving down wages and driving up rents and class sizes and skyrocketing foreign aid, they will be swept away in the great electoral storm of 7th May 2015.

    Tick tock, tick tock.

    Vote early,vote often,vote UKIP :-)

    • 8
      Ma­qb­­oul says:

      Are Roma (or Gypos as we used call them when I were a lad) combustible? That might solve two problems rather neatly.

      • 16
        John Bellingham says:

        Their caravans used to be. (Gypsy camp on A2 c.1966, Camp just outside Brighton c.1967, Gypsy Camp outside Lenham c. 1965). Petrol bombs or clumsy use of paraffin stoves–you decide.
        However they all live in council finded fixed properties these days. 100, 000 plus “Slovak” Roma in the UK–30,000 in the Medway Towns; none in work.

        • 20
          An employer says:

          Come on! Who’d hire them?

          • Looking into the future. says:

            Clothes peg manufacturers, lucky heather growers, crystal ball polishers.

          • Dan Archer. says:

            Lincolnshire cauliflower growers, but the Poles won’t like it.

          • Who removed that drain cover ? says:

            Many of them are self employed in the scrap metal trade…copper/lead and the like ….there’s one wagon that tours our locality daily with a very loud and annoying klaxon that will collect any unwanted scrap metal/old appliances etc and as the local council charges £25 to collect and dispose of they do a pretty good trade and although many are semi-illiterate there seems to be always an expenisive mercedes or 4 x 4 parked next to their £70k plus caravans and a big roll of readies in their pocket. It’s only us mugs that pay taxes etc

      • 39
        Tom Catesby. says:

        According to Blunket they may be very combustable.

      • 109

        It’s been tried. Didn’t get Adolf very far.

    • 9
      Camoron's Roma Apocalypse - coming to your town/village soon. says:

      I don’t think the Roma send their kids to school, which is one small mercy. And on another positive note, there’ll be lots more vacancies for security guards.

      • 51
        Looking into the future. says:

        ‘Lots of vacancies for security guards’, that will mean their mates will be spared the trouble of having to actually break in to premises.

    • 10
      Coeur_de_lion says:

      Ah, vote often. Advice that is taken quite literally in the less salubrious Labour wards in the city of my birth.

      Keeps the Posties busy though, so every cloud.

    • 133
      gildedtumbril says:

      UKIP(WHILE THEY STEAL) is a fake party for fools or deluded ones who lack the balls to vote for the only British party.
      Farrago and the revolting pillocks love the eu. It is the Orient Express of gravy trains. There is no way they want rid of it
      Use your brains for Christ’s sake..

      • 135
        gildedtumbril says:

        …and another thing. Dimplebum is a marxist money puppet and odious and revolting to boot. The sooner he gets the boot the better. When assiduously queried on how he gets paid he replied”I get paid a fee”. What he meant, of course, was probably “My family Trust Fund gets paid a fee”.

  6. 7
    Richard Walker says:

    Most interesting thing about Dimblebore. Tattoo says it all.

  7. 12
    Sur Nob Skelpoff says:

    He’s getting this one next:It looks great, but it fails the sniff test.

  8. 15
    Forthcoming announcements in chronological order says:

    “Terror suspects to be stripped of UK passports” – Theresa May
    “Not bloody likely!” – LimpDums
    “Certainly not!” – The EU
    “Terror suspects can keep UK passports” – Dave Camoron.

    • 23
      And then says:

      Terror suspects blow up Canary Tower and HoP.
      Terror suspects now terrorists
      Terrorists jailed for life.
      Terrorists freed after serving 18 months
      Go back to 1.

      • 30
        As the Americans would say, our system is ass backwards says:

        You left out:

        Terrorists freed after serving 18 months
        Terrorists get free 5 bedroom council house, housing benefit and Jobseekers Allowance

    • 32
      Long John Silver's parrot says:

      You cannot make someone stateless: it is against their Human Rights.

      Please do keep up.

      • 53
        FFS says:

        Can we make their state “antartica” instead? Or simply annouce their state as being Pakistan?

        Or maybe simply point out that “states” are a modern construct that has nothing to do with basic human rights and therefore we can bloody well do as we please with them.

  9. 17
    Leige Asper says:

    I’d have written Marxism Is Slavery across the twat’s back.

    • 25
      Harsh but fair says:

      And then inked a dotted line around his neck, with the words “cut along dotted line” underneath.

  10. 19
    Jesu5, Mohammed and the rest says:

    HS2: Heseltine to liken project to ‘act of faith’

  11. 21
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    Mid life crisis?

    Old life crisis?

    Self self indulgent self?

    I am her to report the news not make it?

  12. 24
    MAIKE LOUVE NOTT WOR says:

    • 31
      Nature would kill these people says:

      The welfare state has a lot to answer for.

      (How did that guy get the points of the compass wrong?)

    • 42
      the tatterati says:

      the ILLITERATI

    • 163
      Bet you're wishing you never made this public, dickhead says:

      And Dimbleby has 2 legs missing from his scorpion, so he can join this ranks of wankers.

  13. 27
    MARK OATEN it's the way i Smell e'm says:

    Where did they put the red rosette tattoo ?

  14. 28
    Mornington Crescent says:

    “The only story this morning”, eh? Depends which world you live in – the Westminster ‘politico-meejah’ world or, well, the real world.

  15. 29
    i want my money back says:

    A producer suggested Dimbleby have the tattoo while making a BBC series.
    Does that mean licence payers have paid for it?

    • 34
      kmc says:

      And, if so, will it be taxed as a benefit in kind?

    • 40
      Joe Public says:

      No. But if the tat proves troublesome, licence-payers become liable.

    • 153
      Little Bo Peep says:

      Of course the taxpayers paid for it. Who do you think pays his wages and where do you think they get the money from in the first place.

      Brains going out of fashion again this week?

  16. 35
    Bluto says:

    A scorpion seems less appropriate than a rubber chicken.

  17. 36
    Britain's New Middle East Peace Envoy says:
  18. 38
    I'm Voting UKIP says:

    Paid for by the BBC

    I wounder why he didnt get it on the LEFT shoulder

  19. 44
    Billy Bragg says:

    Surprised he hasn’t come out with a tatoo of some sort of left-wing slogan. After all most of the ‘hand-picked’ audience and 2/3 of panellists are ALWAYS left-wingers.

  20. 48
    Judicial Watch says:

    ‘No fool like an old fool’

  21. 50
    Vote UKIP - don't get Heir to Blair says:

    Tat for tit.

  22. 54
    Ed Moribund says:

    When I walk from the tube to the office each day I hear some builders shout out
    “Oy! Wankkah!”

    I don’t know who they are yelling about, but it is a little intimidating.

  23. 59
    Bollocks,,They are Stealing Fatbott. says:
    • 64
      Ho Chi Minge says:

      Diane likes to grab a handful of pick n mix and run.

    • 75
      Some people are never satisfied says:

      FFS only last week she was complaining about Food banks giving food away for free.

    • 76
      What the racist slob forgets is.. says:

      Supermarkets were putting security tags on high value grocery products under the Labour government because chavs were stealing food.

    • 78
      White wash makers unite says:

      What do you expect, Liebour destroyed the Police force sorry service, turning them into tick box merchants and getting rid of real police and replacing them with plastic one’s seems even those have disappeared off the streets.

      • 123
        PCSO Twitch says:

        They are sometimes seen, mainly during the mating season, crossing the High Street from their little ‘office’ to buy snacks in the ASDA opposite.

    • 79
      i don't n eed no doctor says:

      While Abbott steals from the tax payer. Abbott, you really are very stupid.

    • 124
      Ex Cop says:

      NB ” High Value ”

      They don’t steal mince but whole legs of lamb!!!

    • 159
      Blobby biatch says:

      Do they not leave enough for fat piggy women Dianne? That your beef luv?

  24. 63
    Cynic2 says:

    A measure of how low the BBC has sunk

    • 73
      Pudsy Bear should get an ASBO says:

      +1

      Not that long ago the BBC would take a responsible role and not encourage youngsters to disfigure their bodies for life.

      • 80
        The BBC says:

        Unless it’s female genital mutilation by the Islamic community, which is obviously OK because it’s part of their rich cultural heritage.

      • 97
        Bruce says:

        Dimbles isn’t really all that young.

        • 102
          Dimbers gay iCON says:

          This is true. There’s nowt better to put sprogs off getting a tat than some silly old fart from the BBC having one.

    • 160
      Pr@ if ever there was 1 says:

      Please don’t forget the obnoxious M’ Allwrong.

  25. 69
    The artist formerly known as Matisse says:

    A tat? Oooh how unconventional. You webel you. You’ll be smoking next.

  26. 70
    rinky dinky says:

    I don’t really care what that twit does, I don’t watch the bBBC.

  27. 82
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    BBC’s new programme is called Tattoo Time, hosted by Dumbhead Dimbleby.

  28. 84
    Ed's mate Franky says:
  29. 85
    Disgruntled, of Redditch says:

    If Guido is going follow orders and link to every establishment-sponsored anti-UKIP article out there – such as the latest from the Speccie – then he’s not worthy of the name Guido, or worth reading anymore.

    I was at the latest meeting of my local branch, being a member, and it was a remarkable display of independent- yet like-mindedness around UKIPs policies, the leadership, and our own independence as a local branch. Don’t believe the lies.

    • 92
      Chickens coming home says:

      2014 is going to be a real shit storm for the establishment:

      1) Roma invasion

      2) EU elections

      3) Scottish Independence vote

      4) 1914 ‘celebrations’

      5) Continuing economic, social and political break down across the country

    • 96
      Kilroy-Silk says:

      Don’t be silly.

      If there is trouble in the ranks, it needs sorting, not hiding. The article linked to makes valid points, it will be interesting to read UKIP’s reply. Gaunty and Delingpole would have made good UKIP MPs.

      • 111
        Disgruntled, of Redditch says:

        If there is trouble in the ranks, it’s for the ranks to sort out. That’s why you have party chairs, etc. The article is trying to make political capital out of what happens across the board, as if its particular to, and an indictment of, UKIP: “How Paranoia and Infighting are Tearing UKIP Apart”.

      • 113
        Looking Ahead says:

        They’ll be standing as candidate MP’s in 2015.

      • 116
        FFS says:

        They were applying to be MEPs, not MPs.

        I think they would make better MPs not MEPs, so maybe that was why they were turned down.

      • 149
        Wet and warm says:

        “Gaunty and Delingpole” – a pissed up gobshite and a limp wristed nancy boy.

        To believe that this pair of tossers would have made a good anything is risible.

  30. 86
    It's not too late to remedy this says:

    Sack him.

  31. 94
    But can he do this? says:

  32. 108
    Ed Moribund says:

    What excuse can we think up for the demonstrable failure of lefty policies in France?

    Owen Jones is saying “they aren’t lefty enough” and that’s why France is in the sewer. But we have used that excuse about every lefty government. Including Maoism and communism.

    • 117

      ..and Pol Pot? Couldn’t get more lefty than that episode.

    • 120
      FFS says:

      When it comes to the point where middle class people are throwing bananas at black ministers, you know the left have pushed people way too far.

      • 131
        Joyeux Noel et Bonne Année says:

        That excuse of a Minister of Justice wants to grant an amnesty to Trade Unionists who have inflicted criminal damage and threatening behavior during an industrial dispute.

        She also wants to decrease sentences because she says there is no money to pay for prison places.

        The color of her skin cannot hide this ineptitude.

  33. 118
    Anonymous says:

    Old dame Nikki Campbell got VERY excited this morning on radio 5 when someone brought up Evan Davis’s Prince Albert when talking about male tattoo’s and body piercings.

  34. 122
  35. 129
    Final Comment says:

    Scorpio
    October 23 – November 21

    Scorpio is the eighth sign of the zodiac, and that shouldn’t be taken lightly — nor should Scorpios! Those born under this sign are dead serious in their mission to learn about others. There’s no fluff or chatter for Scorpios, either; these folks will zero in on the essential questions, gleaning the secrets that lie within. Scorpios concern themselves with beginnings and endings, and are unafraid of either; they also travel in a world that is black and white and has little use for gray. The curiosity of Scorpios is immeasurable, which may be why they are such adept investigators. These folks love to probe and know how to get to the bottom of things. The fact that they have a keen sense of intuition certainly helps.

  36. 136
    A four-by-two says:

    What is it about J’ews and tattoos?

  37. 142
    David Cameron says:

    I’m getting an enormous tattoo of the European flag. Only I’m having it tattooed on your arse.

  38. 143
    Anonymous says:

    The BBC strives hard to be all inclusive, was it on expenses?

  39. 170
    Dogsbody says:

    How old are you, Dimbleby? Ever thought about what your esteemed father might say?

  40. 171
    Anonymous says:

    What a wazzock

  41. 172
    Anonymous says:

    A scorpion with only six legs. There’s not something you see every day…


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Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”



orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?


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