July 3rd, 2013

Why is Bercow so Grumpy?


  1. 1
    The Right Honourable George Osborne Mp says:

    I think we’ve got a very clear message, a loud and clear message that Britain cannot let up in dealing with its debts, dealing with its problems, cannot let up in making sure that Britain can pay its way in the world.


    • 3
      Old Tory Bigot says:

      Quite right George old boy.

      MP’s pay rises all round!


      • 5
        The pot calling the kettle etc etc! says:

        I don’t hear voices from the opposition saying they won’t take the pay rise… ?


        • 10
          Old Tory Bigot says:

          Why on earth would you expect to?


          • V1le Labour trashed my Country says:

            Because MPs have a duty to represent their constituents not rip them off all the time. MPs should take a pay cut of at least 20%. I’m feeling really enriched and excited today in my super diverse multicultural UK shithouse of a Country.


          • Commissioning Editor with a MASSIVE BBC budget and no idea WTF I'm talking about, snnniiiffff! says:

            I’ve just commissioned a £50m series on how our lovely immigrant enrichers have made us so much more a wealthier, happier and so much more law abiding and community minded:


      • 27
        me and my matrix. says:

        yes it is true.
        i do it 5 times a day.
        all my shadows are tamed.
        I do it with them actually.
        The matter is 2d.


    • 16
      Geoffrey Brooking says:

      Has Sally been on E Bay again? :D


      • 49
        Labour Party says:

        Ed Miliband

        2y left.

        One vintage (1970s) style Labour leader.

        Unwanted gift from dear old Uncle Len, slightly worn but clean and still a little wet behind the ears.

        Condition: Used. An item that has been previously used.
        Starting bid: 0.49 (0 bids)
        Item location: Westminster
        Post to: Timbuktu (or as far away as necessary)


        • 70
          Ne'er a truer word spoken says:

          When David Cameron said that he was the heir to Blair he was quite correct.

          Like Blair, he is a fifth columnist who is leading a party he despises.

          Blair lost the Labour Party five million votes in a decade and Cameron is on course to achieve the same pro rata losses for the Tories. He is like a restaurant owner who runs an Indian takeaway but when people order from the menu who delivers fish and chips to their table because he thinks he knows better than those he serves. He has an Eton complex.

          The only way to prevent a defeat for the Conservatives lies in a programme of economic growth which Asperger George will not allow. He too has an Eton complex.

          I will offer any of Guido’s readers 10/1 odds that the Conservatives will lose the next election.

          The next election was lost on the playing fields of Eton.


          • CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

            lose it to who?


          • You jest. Really. You just do says:

            Wait for the stupid answer – UKIP.


          • Ne'er a truer word spoken says:

            David Cameron couldn’t even beat the Jonah. With Asperger George at the economic helm the Tories are doomed.

            Ed Miliband only has to sit back and watch the Tory party make itself obsolete.

            And I can assure you that I am not a fan of Ed, but as that donkey is going to win me a rake of money from Guido’s readers it would be rude of me to be too harsh on him.

            10/1 odds say the Tories will be defeated in the general election.

            Are any of Guido’s readers brave enough to take that bet?


          • CarryHole is the porcine homunculus says:

            Don’t think “Asperger George” works. Politics is an unlikely career choice for someone who won’t take advantage of social cues hardwired into most humans.


          • Mark Oaten says:

            Arse burgers..?



      • 84
        Bugler Bert says:

        His missus says no more nookie until I get nominated for a safe seat………


        • 105
          Pentangelis says:

          Then he may as well accept that his old man is going shrink to nothing and fall off before he gets to use it again.
          Hope the lady in his life understands the enormous strain she is putting herself under.


    • 34
      P l e b says:

      Christ, are you back?


    • 89
      Anonymous says:

      Have we heard much of Sal lately ? to be fair he is a saint to put up with her !


    • 100
      he's got a badger for a head says:

      Big media story on channel 4 tonight. Not a peep on Guido. Can’t think why


    • 186
      Anne Frank says:

      Well Guido, we have just figured out why you have been going for old Fatty Watson so obviously recently. Well well well old uncle Rupert pulls your sweaty paddy strings now don’t he? What’s he got on you? Were you photographed nuts deep in the back of some 8 year old? You dirty paddy scum fuck, defending that dirty Aussie scum fuck. A curse on all your houses, may your children get painful bone cancer.


    • 203
      Pop Psychiatrist says:

      Mr Bercow is remarkably even tempered. Not at all like a man suffering a nervous breakdown in public.


      • 242
        Poison Dwarf with a huge chip on shoulder says:

        I am only living up to my name in chambers as the Poison Dwarf.


  2. 2
    A nice cup of tea says:

    Was he being a bit short today?


    • 6
      Itchy Scrote says:

      Ha! Have a biscuit to go with your nice cup of tea.


    • 9
      Who votes for these pillocks says:

      Not sure, but will be back shortly.


    • 127
      Old Blind Pugh says:

      Tetchy, wouldn’t you Geedo, trying control and bring order to 650 fractious, self righteous, bunch of over grown children, a primary schoolteacher taking the first year probably has an easier job.


  3. 4
    John Bercow says:

    It’s small man syndrome, both types.


  4. 7
    Anonymous says:

    His bias is getting worse.At PMQ’s Labour are allowed to make loud noise when the PM is speaking but when the opposite occurs vis a vis Miliband he jumps up,which for him is not very high.
    His treatment of Philip Hammond was nothing short of despicable


  5. 8
    Farter-Fuck and Partners says:

    Dear Mrs. Bercow,

    We have pleasure in enclosing our fees for representing you in the case M@cAlpine v. Bercow.

    We look forward to hearing from you.


  6. 12
    Jimmy says:

    He’s like a teacher who applied to teach the scholarship class and gets given Special Needs. Think about what previous Speakers got to preside over and then consider the shit he has to listen to day in day out. Anyone would get cranky. One day he’ll bring in a gun.


    • 21
      Old Tory Bigot says:

      Are you implying that there was some sort of golden age of civilized, genteel parliamentary debate Jimmy?

      When was that then?


    • 50

      Maybe we need a bit of history to repeat itself.

      In 1856 Senator Sumner denounced the Kansas-Nebraska Act. In his “Crime against Kansas” speech on May 19 and May 20.

      Two days later Senator Brooks confronted Sumner as he sat writing at his desk in the almost empty Senate chamber:

      .. Brooks beat Sumner severely on the head before he could reach his feet, using a thick gutta-percha cane with a gold head. Sumner was knocked down and trapped under the heavy desk (which was bolted to the floor), but Brooks continued to strike Sumner until Sumner ripped the desk from the floor. By this time, Sumner was blinded by his own blood, and he staggered up the aisle and collapsed, lapsing into unconsciousness. Brooks continued to beat the motionless Sumner until his cane broke at which point he left the chamber.

      Sumner’s supporters were outraged. Demanding Brooks expulsion from the senate and trial for assault.

      meanwhile Brooks supporters sent him dozens of brand new canes, with one bearing the phrase, “Good job”.


      • 116
        Aaron Burr says:

        How ’bout this idea, Mr Quango?
        Just shoot the sonuvabitch dead and get it over with. I did. Ruined my career, but sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do.


        • 130
          History Today says:

          Although a duel between Hammond and Bercow would be entertaining, Raymond, I feel the beating story has more punch.

          Especially if Hammond attacked him with the Mace.
          In fact, send the cane story to Bercow as a reminder he is supposed to be impartial. And at next PMQs the coalition benches sit with replica Black Rods.
          Just for emphasis.


          • Aaron Burr says:

            And there I was, all set to offer Hammond and Bercow a really sweet deal on a pair of Great Hoss-Pistols– each fired only once, still practically like new!

            Now, if only I could get either Owen Jones or Dan Hodges interested…


      • 175
        Theresa May says:

        Yankee go Home


  7. 14
    The Last Quango in Paris says:

    I think he has used that speech before in relation to Big Brother / Twitter etc…

    It’s not big of him to be so rude – he used to be so happy ….


  8. 15
    Another Headshrinker says:

    Sally won’t use the strap-on!


    • 109
      Pentangelis says:

      No, she’s too busy following her socialist tendencies and servicing an anally retentive, saturine Labour Lord.


  9. 17
    Sally Bercow says:

    Why is #mywifecheatedonmewithanIrishtraveller trending *innocent face*


  10. 23
    I will not tolerate my legal & privacy rights to be treated like garbage. says:



  11. 25
    throwaway comment # 23,817 says:

    Maybe she’s used up all the Tampax. That can put you in a bad mood.


  12. 28
    Malcolm Bailey says:

    Perhaps because his fellow hobbit, gove is so often under attack


  13. 29
    Sue Brown says:

    Bercow can jog on up Silly’s arse!


  14. 30
    Geoffrey Brooking says:

    Should have settled for £15,000 when you had the chance.

    Maybe then you wouldn’t have had to E Bay the state treasures.

    The again, £15,000 is nothing when you’re gonna get a £10,000 a year rise :)


  15. 36
    Liberal Bias BBC says:

    Ed Miliband PMQs briefing notes left in Commons toilets.

    A blank sheet intended for another use.


    • 38
      Liberal Bias BBC says:

      Worth a read. On BBC news page now.


    • 59
      UKIP or bust says:

      The point is: why does labour have to pass its defence, of the Tories attack on len milliband, to the bbc?

      Is it because big len’s little puppet has zero credibility when it comes to his union handlers?


  16. 37
    Sally Barecow says:

    You leave my little John alone or I’ll do you!

    Or, at least, I’ll do those of you I haven’t already done.


  17. 39
    Tarmac drive says:

    “Darling ..there’s a strange man at the door…”

    “yes Sir.., Need anyone, erm, i mean…anything doing. I’m good with me hands. I can lay stuff real quick. And I’m not fussy..Nothing is too hard. I’ll do anything..etc etc”


  18. 40
    Hang The Bostards says:


    (1) He’s a short arse
    (2) He’s realised he’s useless
    (3) He’s frustrated he can’t milk the gravy train faster
    (4) He knows everybody hates him
    (5) His wife is a national laughing stock
    (6) His wife is seeking it elsewhere
    (7) Nobody respects the little turd

    I mean with that for starters you can appreciate why the self serving bastard maybe feeling a bit glum !!

    I mean FFS guys, give him a break


  19. 41
    Francoise Hollande says:

    “Allo Allo ..est Dave? Portugal, Elle est tits up.
    Voulez-vous Eurozone prêter € 63000000000″


  20. 42
    Anonymous says:

    Wednesdays are when our esteemed Speaker is always Grumpy. Tomorrow he will be Dopey, on Saturdays the dwarf that he will emulate is Doc, and on Sundays he assumes the personna of Sleepy. He uses a different woodsman’ This I can tell youscharacter for each day of the week.


  21. 43
    Twitter says:

    Why is his nickname Tinky Winky


  22. 44
    Same old same old says:

    Why is Andy Murray taking a hammering from Ross from Friends?


  23. 45
    Gordon Brown says:

    Come on Murray don’t ” Crash Out”


  24. 46
    mraemiller says:

    With all those libel legal bills I bet he’s thinking it’s a good job now he has a grace and favour home.


  25. 47
    This much I know says:

    Bercow is always Grumpy on a Wednesday. Tomorrow he will be Dopey, and on Saturday he’s Doc. Each day of the week the stunted Speaker adopts the characteristics of one of Snow White’s little friends.

    It is true that his personna of Happy and of Bashful are both sadly lacking in believability however.


  26. 48
    Someone Had To Do The Obvious Joke Here says:

    “Why Is Bercow So Grumpy?”
    You’d be Grumpy, too, if you were married to Dopey.
    She sure as fuck ain’t Bashful.


  27. 51
    Muggins says:

    Having seen the “episode” in question, I think his behaviour brings Parliament into disrepute.

    The way labour appointed this little man shows contempt for the electorate, and his subsequent conduct does Parliament no good. To think we also have to pay for this man.


    • 66
      gramma says:

      This little man was a Tory, but then in name only.
      An even worse episode was when he allowed his bosom pal ‘Underpants Bryant’ to accuse a member of lying in the chamber.

      And there was I thinking that the position as Speaker could not sink any lower than the years with Gorbals Mick in charge.


  28. 53
    Rumpy Pumpy says:

    EXCLUSIVE: New Brussels red-tape has cost Britain a staggering £5BILLION in just two years

    New laws, regulations and rules from Europe have cost the equivalent of £9,500 every minute since the start of 2011, according to Tory MP Priti Patel.


    • 56
      Same old same old says:

      Super…I look forward to paying for my current account and credit card


    • 58
      Jesus Jones says:

      Never trust a tory p@k!, how do you stop a p@k! from drowning? Turn the grill down. No hang on, Mingeater. Shit, it was funny in the pub.


  29. 57
    Dog the Bounty Hunter says:

    i have left my documentatin in the shitta


  30. 60
    Labourunionsbbc + EU says:

    Will C4 send a representative to Lee Rigby’s funeral?

    Or will they be too busy helping his ass assin’s with their overthrow of Western democracy?


  31. 62
    trouble at mill says:

    Must be a sad life as pygmy speaker.
    All the conversations go over his head.
    Even worse to be a shrimp, married to an Amazon.

    Face to face he has his feet in it; Toe to toe he has his face in it; And on the job he needs a security blanket because he has no one to talk to.


    • 72
      The Dirty Rat says:

      It’s not a problem if he gives her one à La chien. Trust me I’m a Vet.


      • 129
        Jack Ketch says:

        Even that’s difficult if your thighs are shorter than the lady’s. Cowgirl is the usual solution. Reverse Cowgirl if one or the other partner really can’t bear to look at the ugly face.


  32. 63
    Tom Fatson says:


    • 64
      Jack Dromey says:

      Don’t forget me, Hattie got my parachute fitted for me, something about supporting Brown if I got my seat. She certainly is a two faced shit, oh I’ve spoken the truth, now I’m for it.


      • 68
        One of the Rees-Moggs. says:

        And Tory candidates? How are they selected?


        • 73
          Len Mccluskey says:

          Scrupulously, now sod off lefty scum, oh bugger now I’ve told the truth.


        • 230
          Johnny M - there's no minge like a Joo minge says:

          Hand picked by Dave.

          But only if they’re female(ish), gay and immi.

          Preferably all three.


  33. 65
    The Household Cavalry says:

    We here that wood is very scarce between Mr Speaker’s sheets at the moment.


  34. 67
    D.Blunkett says:

    I’d give her one. Maybe I have.


  35. 74
    TJB says:

    I see Simon Burns is going for a record number of Bercow taunts in a single speech at the minute.. Bercow is at his most condescending and twattish in the chair.


  36. 78
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Why is Bercow grumpy. At a guess he may have had McAlpine’s bill and Sally’s legal bill. In any case I wish the Bercows all the worst.


  37. 81
    Another scabby old bag on the BBC. says:



  38. 83
    Weird Ed says:

    Told you. Curse of Cameron…Curse of Cameron



  39. 85
    Brillo says:

    There is surely more to concern about than the Squeaker`s tizz. Little men are prone to this sort of thing.


  40. 86
    Sir William Waad says:

    I except the poor chap is suffering from PMQ.


  41. 87
    Gordon "Mandeba" Brown says:

    I see Krishnan G-M is over in Cairo patronising the Egyptians about not understanding how “democracy” works.

    Kicking out the elected member who’s busy converting the country into a Muzzie state? How outrageous.


  42. 88
    bencorde says:

    He’s the SHORT ASS in the DONKEY STALL. HEE HAW!


  43. 92
    Biff says:

    I think he’s finally appreciated the fact that he’s married a wrong ‘un!


  44. 93
    A nincumpoop says:

    Sandra Aspinall, acting deputy chief executive of Caerphilly council (whilst the Chief Executive and Deputy Chief Executive are suspended on suspicion of fraud) said: “I want to send a clear message to the community that it is very much ‘business as usual’ at Caerphilly County Borough Council.”

    I’d imagine the residents were rather hoping business was going to be done differently.


  45. 94
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    Most people don’t know Wikipedia’s run by a non-profit. Please
    consider sharing this e-mail with a few of your friends to encourage them to
    donate too.


  46. 96
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    is Egypt’s prime minister really called called Mosey ?


  47. 97
    The neo nuts looney loons OBE says:

    Oh dear

    Rupert Mongdoch….is going to jail


  48. 102
    Sue Brown & the BBC says:

    It is beyond a joke now!


  49. 108
    Rt. Hon Butch Cameron MP says:

    Len McCluskey


  50. 110
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    Consider the future, when the European experiment collapses you know we are here for you. start negotiations now for a United Kingdom of all the islands because you know we are the same.


    • 114
      Mystic Fenian says:

      How about a United Republic of all the islands? For when the European experiment collapses, etc.


      • 118
        the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

        stage 2


        • 121
          the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

          grasp the reality, no need to move mountains, you know we are the same, the history has gone, together we can be stronger than the 2. We already have a relationship, we should behave like grown ups and admit our love for each other.


          • the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

            the people are not the state as it was then, everything has changed, join with us. negotiate for a a kingdom of all the islands


          • Fenian with a small 'f' says:

            Such paradox: ‘Negotiate for a kingdom.’ Kings don’t negotiate.

            Much of what you say is correct. But, it’s all about flags and labels. Corporate branding.

            As your Queen said: “We wish it had happened differently. Or, not at all.”

            Cromwell did very bad stuff. Churchill sent the Black and Tans. Folk memory still very strong.

            But, in the Big Picture, EU much worse in the long run.

            Alliance of two nations better than one kingdom.


    • 123
      Joe says:

      Yeah what a great idea, we could call it the United Kingdom.


  51. 115
    Theory says:

    Hammond is close to getting some proper dirt on JB that could cause a by election and JB has got wind of it.


  52. 122
    Snow White says:

    He successfully applied for that part-time job I advertised!


  53. 125
    Anonymous says:

    Is Bercow experiencing a Napoleonic spat


  54. 126
    Butch Dave says:

    I see thousands of strapping young Egyptian men have taken to the streets to over throw their beastly government tonight. I told Mohamed Morsi to bring in gay marriage as soon as possible, but would he listen!


    • 232
      Johnny M - there's no minge like a Joo minge says:

      “thousands of strapping young Egyptian men”?

      Where’s the Foreign Secretary when you need him?


  55. 128
    JHJ3894234923409 says:

    I do wonder if the world is turning for the better. An Islamist government has been firmly shown the door, and the young are not the easy conscripts the left are used to.



    • 133
      Sit Petra says:

      ?, but we are not voting until 2015.


      • 134
        JHJ3894234923409 says:


        Yes, this lot are bad enough, but Labour won’t be happy until there is a mosq*e in every village.


        • 147
          CarryHole is the porcine homunculus says:

          I think Labour have learnt to Respect the fact their gerrymandering will not work.


          • We just wanted to rub their noses in it says:

            Biting the hand that feeds them, albeit with food paid for by other people.

            Ungrateful bastards.


        • 181
          Suburbia says:

          What makes you think there isn’t already? Have you been to look at what is gong on at the new shed down at the allotments recently?


  56. 135
    Owin Jones says:

    Have I heard that right, Abu Qatada is being sent to Jordan? Is a Katie & Abu TV show in the offing?


  57. 137
    cheche says:

    Newsnight Egypt

    What a larf


  58. 140
  59. 142
    Fishy says:

    More arrested in the Andrew Mitchell affair.


    Expect the investigation to spread to the Sun and the BBC (who kept the story going)?


  60. 143
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    Irish people.
    why be invade by Polish ?
    you know who loves you, why do you tease us.
    cement out longstanding relationship in marriage.


    • 173
      Major Percival's Pliers says:

      Major Percival and the Essex Regiment came to West Cork in 1920. He specialised in rounding up innocent farm labourers and interrogating them as IRA suspects, and had a trademark habit of using a pair of pliers to rip off their fingernails and foreskins during interrogation.

      Having followed his subsequent career closely, it was with great interest some twenty years later that the people of West Cork watched General Percival surrender Singapore to the Japanese.

      We won’t marry you, we’ll just shag you.


      • 184
        Boston says:

        And yet, when you talk to the Irish now, and especially ones who have emigrated to America, so many of them claim that their grandfathers were indeed all romantically involved with the IRA at the time, despite all the evidence that they were simple farm labourers….


        • 187
          Major Percival's Pliers says:

          Almost everyone was a ‘sympathiser’ but only a small number were ‘activists’. For example, in Cork, there were only about 400, but their guerrilla tactic of using Flying Columns still managed to fight a force of about 12,000 British soldiers to a military stalemate. Read the memoir “Guerrilla Days in Ireland” by Tom Barry, who wrote it in the 1940s, 20 years on.

          Apparently, it is still required reading on various countries’ Army Officer Training Courses. I had heard that included the UK.


          • O'rony says:

            So they were indeed harbouring terrorists and failing to provide information regarding terrorist activities to the authorities. If the IRA had been muslims, maybe Irish and British history would be very different now.


          • the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

            we cannot be held responsible for the mistakes of our grandfathers


          • The German public says:

            We are. All the time.


          • the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

            what’s more important now ?
            2 nil or 6 nil ?


          • Major Percival's Pliers says:

            Small point: they were not ‘Terrorists’, they were ‘Freedom Fighters';
            The legitimacy of the “authorities” had been in question for 700 years.

            There is, however, a terrible irony in the fact that it all started when
            Pope Adrian IV (an Englishman) took it upon himself to issue the ‘Laudabiliter’ document giving the Angevin King Henry II the ‘right’ to assume control over Ireland.

            A growing body of historical opinion holds that the document was interfered with by Giraldus Cambrensis, a Welsh bishop of the time, during its delivery from Rome, and altered to give this ‘authority’ to Henry.


          • the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

            for fuck’s sake just let it go. I know and every other fucker knows what we did in Ireland was evil but that was not us.


          • the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

            you should not think though that the republicans are the “freedom” fighters
            I think churchill offered devellera (spelling) northern ireland if he would come into the WWII on our side and he turned that offer down.


          • Major Percival's Pliers says:

            Ask yourself why he might have turned it down!


          • Major Percival's Pliers says:

            In fact, read this first, especially Viscount Cranbourne’s Report, at the end:



          • the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

            I can’t remember where it was exactly but some old guy told me that the British navy anchored some ships there during the WWII for the atlantic fighting, think it was Cleggan, need to check


  61. 145
    Channel 4 says:

    Aiaeeee…allalalh…akbar..allaha.aallah..praise galloway


  62. 151
    BBC bum bandit says:

    Highly amusing to see the ‘outrage’ from the BBC over Morsi getting removed from power.

    The BBC have been banging on about how undemocratic it is.

    This is the very same BBC that went along with the EU removing the legitimate governments of Italy and Greece and replacing them with their own yes men and the EU have threatened to do the same to other EU states that don’t do as the EU says.


    • 177
      PCFan says:

      I didn’t see that, as I have something better to do than watch the BBC. But I am glad you enjoyed it.


  63. 152
    Sally says:

    These are all lies. Our marriage is totes happy *innocent face* I love my husband *winks* He’s not grumpy at all *honest face* All I did was go out last night and have fun *cum on face*


  64. 155
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:

    That Gillian Duffy has a lot to answer for. She’s just a bigoted woman.


    • 157
      Sanity says:

      Vote UKIP


      • 159
        UKID DING says:


        • 185
          The Public says:

          Who is Chris Grayling?


          • The electorate says:

            Never heard of him


          • Grayling is yet another inconsequential tosser says:

            Grayling used to be my MP.

            He was anti-EU, staunchly for tough immigration control, pro business, low tax, small government.
            I even voted for him initially.

            Unfortunately, the closer he got to power, first in the shadow cabinet, the more his views changed, until he was just another consensus clone, whining about the dangers of leaving the EU, cutting government spending and all the rest of Dave’s happy clappy, SDP revivalist bollocks.

            In short he will say whatever he thinks will advance his career, to people who control his destiny.


          • Londoner says:

            Like Boris then. A waste of space who went native.


    • 169
      Prof. Estaban, Institute of Studies says:

      Yeah who could possibly have predicted that allowing uncontrolled immigration from the barbarian 3rd world would have any impact.


  65. 156
    Little John says:

    I don’t care how many times you Tories sing it at PMQs. it’s not going to happen.
    I repeat.

    Sally will be not getting her tits out for the lads.


  66. 158
    Moslem brother says:

    Walk like an Egyptian


  67. 161
    From Nowhere says:

    I’ve no idea what he is grumpy about, and I don’t care. All I know is, I’d fuck that Sally Bercow in any position she likes. Twice!


  68. 162

    Jimmy: (thinks) Dad never slaps me around at home. It must be his coffee. Jimmy’s mom: (thinks) No, I’ve been serving him decaf. Maybe he’s just an asshole.


  69. 165
    Moslem brother says:

    watch the price of oil go through the roof. Yes the Yanks will keep suez open but the uncertainty will mean one thing only.

    Dave get fracking


  70. 168
    *twatty face* says:

    Why is Bercow so Grumpy?

    Perhaps through a dream or vision he has been confronted with the awful reality of his true nature.


  71. 174
    Death and... says:


  72. 176
    Mr Morsi ex President of EGYPT says:

    Dear Dave I will be unable to call on you to pick up my cheque can you forward it to my Swiss bank account.


  73. 192
    albacore says:

    So, who gives a rat’s arse about a petulant speaker?
    For Parliament itself, the case could hardly be weaker
    Bastardising the whole nation and making life bleaker
    Every LibLabCon swine is a stinking decline-wreaker



  74. 193
    Mrs. Milliband (David, not Ed) says:

    If I was married to a munter like that, I’d be perpetually grumpy.


  75. 200
    Parliament Square says:

    Any chance of a coup?


  76. 201
    Parliament Square says:

    I see my joke about events in Egypt has been removed. Dave’s pro-Islamic regime must be getting worried abut chickens coming home to roost here in the UK


  77. 208

    Has Sally Bercow paid Lord McAlpine and her court expenses yet?

    Just asking.


    • 210
      Chairman Mao says:

      Bercow will be taking doggy bags home from state dinners for the foreseeable future.


  78. 212
    Wikipedia says:

    Jonesophobia encompasses a range of negative attitudes and feelings towards Owen Jones or people who are identified as having political beliefs similar to Owen Jones. It can be expressed as antipathy, contempt, prejudice, aversion, or hatred, may be based on irrational fear, and is sometimes related to political beliefs

    Two words originate from Jonesophobia: Jonesophobic (adj.) and Jonesophobe (n.), the latter word describing a person who displays Jonesophobia or is thought to do so.


    • 216
      Wikijonesia says:


      The word jonestic is used differently depending on location, which has led to some controversy and misunderstanding. Derived via Latin from the Greek jonestikos (“going on” or “bullshitting”), the word originally referred to an expression of poltical views affected by the mental condition jonesticity, which is seen in jonestic confabulation and many other forms of political medacity and in terms such as “jonestic economic bluffing”, with no negative connotation on the BBC, as it is accurately descriptive of the condition. On Channel 4 the word “jonestic” is also used neutrally.[citation needed]

      The word in common speech can also be used in a pejorative context. The level of severity depends on whether one understands it as it is used in the Guido Fawkes blog or the rest of the United Kingdom.[1] In the UK it is also considered an offensive way to refer to disabled people.


      • 240
        Wikijonesia says:

        Jonesism /ˈfæʃɪzəm/ is a form of radical authoritarian nationalism[1][2] that came to prominence in early 21st-century Stockport. Jonesists seek to unify their nation through a totalitarian state that promotes the mass mobilization of the national community,[3][4] relying on a vanguard party to initiate a revolution to organize the nation on Jonesist principles.[5] Hostile to liberal democracy, Labourism, and Conservatism, Jonesist movements share certain common features, including the veneration of the state, a devotion to a strong leader, and an emphasis on ultranationalism and militarism. Jonesism views political violence, war, and imperialism as a means to achieve national rejuvenation[3][6][7][8] and asserts that stronger nations have the right to obtain land and resources by displacing weaker nations


        • 247
          Wikijonesia says:

          The term “Anti-Jonesist” is commonly used by the BBC to describe its opponents; in this usage the term obviously carries negative and pejorative connotations. Cameron’s secret police, working in conjuction with UAF has set up the the Organisation For the Surveillance and Represssion of Anti-Jonesism, or OSRAJ, to stamp down on anti-Jonesism on the internet and in the media generally

          In the UK, anti-Jonesists — many from the right and centre of politics, but including some elements of the Labour Party— have fought against the violent UAF and the Jonesists, and against the rise of Jonesist leader Len McLuskey, or have at least had a few lattes and muttered about doing so between bites of their pastries.

          After some trade unions led by UNITE have adopted a pro-Jonesist strategy, members of the workers’ movement who agree with this strategy formed the People’s Assembly. The People’s Assembly is considered an important element of the Glorious Vanguard by Common Purpose and helpful in identifying useful idiots.


          • “Wanking” redirects here. For the Biblical origin of the term “Jonanism”, see Jonanism

            Jonanism is the sexual stimulation of one’s own genitals, usually to the point of orgasm.[1] The stimulation can be performed using the hands, fingers, everyday objects, or dedicated sex toys.[2] Mutual Jonanism, which is Jonanism with a partner, can take the form of non-penetrative sex.

            Social attitudes towards masturbation have continued to be a subject of contention throughout history and in most cultures. In the West, this social taboo has generally declined and there has been an increase in discussion and portrayal of Jonanism in television, films and literature. However, most religions consider Jonanism to be a sin, and in many socially conservative areas the stigma about Jonanism is greater, where even discussion of the topic is restricted by social norms. Jonanism is usually carried out in private, and public Jonanism is illegal in most countries

            Jonanism can also take place for the purpose of assisted reproduction, for instance in the case of in vitro fertilization (in jurisdictions where these medical procedures are legal). Animal Jonanism has been observed in many species, both in the wild and in captivity.[3][4][5] Some religions consider Jonanism to be a sin.[6]


  79. 214
    Dirty Pikey says:

    “Sally got shagged by a gypsy” and no that’s not a euphemism. #innocent face

    Paddy said “I’ve been called a dirty c^unt before but I’ve never been up one till now to be sure”


  80. 215
    s says:

    who cares about bercow – the population is fucking furious!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    still, just like a tory, dealing with the minuetae whilst the country falls apart


  81. 217
    s says:

    can we talk about norman bettison now please?
    much more interesting


    • 220
      Working Class Boy Made good says:

      Son of a steelworker who joined the police at the age of 16 as a cadet, he did very nicely out of his decision and was sent to Oxford to study philosophy and psychology.

      He is the subject of an investigation by the IPCC.


  82. 219
    Green Emerald says:

    Seeing that Egyptian helicopter flying perfectly OK over Cairo yet illuminated from the ground by hundreds of green lasers from the crowds below. Makes one wonder if the UK civil aviation authority is exagerating somewhat when they say one pointing laser used in Britain will bring down an airliner.


    • 221
      The CAA says:

      If the wind changes when people do that, the wngs will drop off.


      • 225
        Chopper Plod says:

        Our battle hardened choppers will fall out of the sky if just one single classroom pointing laser is directed at them.


        • 228
          A Good Night's Sleep in London says:

          Those will be the idiot choppers that hover over residential areas at two or three in the morning breaching the peace for no plausible reason and whose occupants are so stupid they think no-one can see or hear them.


  83. 223
    Putsch says:

    Let’s have a coup. It’s way overdue.


  84. 227
    Islamic Cameron says:

    So while Dave and Hague are trying to put the Muslim brothers into power in Syria, the people of Egypt are knocking the Moslem brotherhood out of power.

    Is there something that Dumb and dumber should learn from this?


    • 229
      The British Public says:

      They will, of course, not learn anything.

      Syria is none of our business.


    • 233
      the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

      and it is
      “get a fucking grip”


      • 237
        Dave and Willy says:

        But the Beeb shows us both on prime time telly looking really decisive, dynamic and influential.

        In reality we’re just a couple of useless posing tossers achieving nothing in countries that think we should just fuck off out of the way.


  85. 231
    State Silence says:

    Sky just gave a secret away.

    Police cars have cell and satellite phone jammers fittted for use in”emergencies.”.


    • 234
      Dave the Disaster says:

      Don’t worry. I’m a Conservative. You can trust me. No need to worry about basic freedoms on my watch.


      • 241
        tit for twat says:

        Good job Liebour didn’t get it’s way with 90day clink without coming to court, id cards and allowing all those uncivil servants free access to private housing without needing owners permission and just think all those speed cameras and talking lamp posts that Liebour wanted, the LibLabCon same ideas to stamp on the public ans steal their hard earned wages.


    • 243
      Anonymous says:

      Good. But they will probably be too scared to use them. If people suddenly find they can not call out, the first point of call will be the Policeman in the car.

      They would be too terrified to even contemplate dealing with the public.


    • 244
      Anonymous says:

      By the way they should be jamming the illegal frequencies. The real criminals have other ways to communicate on the unlicensed and illegal frequencies. Really simple to convert most modern radios, mostly just software.


      • 252
        data Magnet says:

        Good point.

        And real terrorists and villains only use encrypted email when forced to use the email and never leave an internet address or phone ID.

        State monitoring of everyone’s comms can only be about big brother state and fuck all about serious intel


        • 259
          Judge Dreadful says:

          You would be amazed how stupid some criminals actually are, especially when using texts.


          • the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

            is too fucking hot in here got to sort out the lighting, where can we source 200 of those LEDs and can you get more women with the big boobies


  86. 235
    Owin Jones says:

    I can see why President Morsi was replaced, he oversaw a failed country, with a Failed Economy…..nothing like the UK !!!!!!!!!!


  87. 236
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:



  88. 245
    Grimy Miner says:

    Why is Bercow Grumpy?

    ‘Cos he’s not Happy, Sleepy, Sneezy, Dopey, Bashful or Doc.


  89. 250
    Hot off the Press says:

    Uncontrolled immigration is bad for the country says govt report. This is a revelation.


    • 258
      Sit Petra says:

      Only 400,000 came in last year, that’s nearly as many as the population Liverpool (466,000).


      • 260
        The Public says:

        So maybe those useless aircraft carriers Gordon ordered will have some use when we start shifting them all out again.


    • 261
      Mmetro sexual London elite says:

      And of course the daft metro sexual socialist bint doing the Sky paper review had to say that the benefits of living in a multicultural society far outweigh the costs.

      Of course she was only supposing this and had no hard evidence to back her thinking.

      What is increasingly obvious though is that London and it’s commentariat are now far separated from the rest of the country.


      • 264
        The Silent Masses says:

        Do not be deceived. There are plenty of people in London who are mightily pissed off with the way things have turned out.


      • 274
        Everyone else says:

        Very few – if any – of the Sky presenters have the first idea of what they are talking about; and the so-called Press review is just a waste of people’s electricity. Their so-called economics correspondent is as well informed as a third year geography student in Tooting about what is actually going on in the real world – that none of them seem to exist in.


  90. 251

    Afternoon H@rry.


  91. 253
    Dan Hodges says:

    Labour must steer away from the Owen Jones rampant gay tendency and its suicidal Left-wing agenda, writes @SimonDanczuk MP



  92. 254
    trouble at mill says:

    Failed Tory
    Accepted for a minor position in the past in Gordon’s government for his Socialist leanings.
    Now Abysmal ‘Squeaker’.
    Married to a pseudo.

    With Miliband , Balls et al on the opposing benches being incompetant he is actually the only opposition voice in the HoC.

    Wouldn’t you be miserable too ??????????


  93. 255
    Traitors' gate says:

    come the revolution little john and slapper Sal will be some of the first in tower….it’s not far for them to go


  94. 256
    Earnie says:

    Looks like Egypt’s Pyramid selling scheme has failed.


  95. 257
    ED Miliband says:

    Within days of me banning the sardine the Portuguese economy has collapsed. See you doubters, I am influential afterall.

    Viva the Janner Pilchard


  96. 263
    Sally up our alley says:

    ‘If you are going to do that John, I would use a real gun’.


  97. 266
    Pleb says:

    Bercow is well pissed off cos Saucy Sally sold the side board that had his Butt plug and ball gag in it and he is missing out on his special nights.


  98. 268
    Old Blue Eyes says:

    If Bercow is Grumpy, Milliband is Dopey and I’m Happy.


  99. 269
    Anon E Mouse says:

    He’s getting into character for this year’s panto season.


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