July 3rd, 2013

Read Miliband’s PMQs Briefing Notes In Full

The BBC’s Norman Smith says Labour are investigating whether the notes were left in a toilet…

UPDATE:


102 Comments

  1. 1
    Red Ed says:

    Ashcroft!

  2. 2
    shirtsleeves says:

    .
    .
    it is all about the muscle.
    .
    .to become aware, tie something to your upper muscles.
    …a proper gent does that.

  3. 3
    StrongholdBarricades says:

    Nice to know that it is all about the issues

  4. 4
    Popeye says:

    Who writes this cr*p for him?

  5. 5
    Dan Hodges says:

    The Peoples Assembly crisis deepens as Owen Jones refuses to stop his inane tweets,and continues to behave like the lunatic that he is.

  6. 6
    Gordon Brown says:

    A lunatic can’t be held responsible for his actions.

  7. 7
    Every body all together says:

    once upon a time there was millinumpty, and still is going off that script

  8. 8

    Look closely, not a single piece of substance on show, just waffling

  9. 9
    A Passing Cynic says:

    There he goes again…

  10. 10
    Anonymous says:

    Any silly sod can spend money we didn’t / don’t have

  11. 11
    Anonymous says:

    For some reason, I thought there would be more substance to it than that, given that they have all week to write this stuff.

  12. 12
    Every body all together says:

    if they were left in a toilet, were they left on a nail behind the door

  13. 13
    CarryHole is the porcine homunculus says:

    Abuse of young people by those in charge of their care, but you won’t hear about it!

    http://www.propublica.org/article/boys-in-custody-and-the-women-who-abuse-them

    Why? It’s against the women as victim men as perp narrative.

  14. 14
    Lost in Clacton says:

    Left in a toilet, you say.

    Best place for them.

  15. 15
    Selohesra says:

    I always assumed his comments were spontaneous – if they were pre-prepared he should do better

  16. 16
    Old Holborn says:

    I think we can conclude it was found in a toilet. Where it belongs

  17. 17
    Antipo-dean says:

    Bollocks! Red Ed says – repeat after me – “Dinner for donors in Downing street.”

    Let’s hear that again: “Dinner for donors in Downing street.”

    I think one more time will add something “Dinner for donors in Downing street.”

    Get the point yet? There were dinners for donors in Downing street. It’s got a ring to it, hasn’t it? Dinner for donors in Downing street. We’re on to something here! Dinners for donors in Downing street!

    What’s that? Debate? No no, I just repeat the slogan. Dinners for donors in Downing street!

  18. 18
    Rich Pensioner PHain says:

    Toilet paper was soggy today.

    Mad Cow Bercow messed up the charring. Again.

  19. 19
    No steps forward 100 steps back says:

    Whoever put that thing together has some major problems in their life if they are a supposed grown up person, nasty nasty nasty way trying to get your own back, they need to go back to school a ten year old can tell them a better way to use whats already in the public domain, silly twits

  20. 20
    Hang The Bostards says:

    Was this written by some 13 year old, doing politics homework, based on the topic “arguing in the playground” ??

    Meanwhile the country looses control to the EU day by day, it burns as our inept “leaders” twiddle their thumbs watching the Union Jack fade away day by day.

    Come UKIP, come the onslaught of common sense and action.

  21. 21
    Bread & Circuseseseses'es says:

    Just goes to show that Politicians do the square root of fuck all ….

    1. Policy – decided by Spads and then overruled by the Civil Service

    2. Speeches – written by some fuckwit while off their tits on smack

    They are only good for the gravy train.

  22. 22
    Tom Watson says:

    Take me Ed, you know you want to…

  23. 23
  24. 24
    Owen Jones says:

    Who are you calling a 13 year old? Fight you!!

  25. 25
    Robert the Bilderberger says:

    Left in the toilets ha, those notes should have been left in the toilets for MPs to wipe their ars*s on. Newspapers had to be used in Commy Eastern Europe as the socialist planners felt there was no need for toilet paper.

  26. 26
    shirtsleeves says:

    tie me up.
    tie me down.
    .
    .
    with 5 shadows in mind……just tie something around the body in 5 places.
    a.shoe
    b.belt
    c.shirt sleeves
    d.neck….close collar will suffice until the throat is just too big.
    .
    .
    .bowler hatted beanie.
    .
    .
    .tip of the day…..grow the neck so much that only a tie with suffice.
    .
    pssst…wimmin are the cursed species.
    stich up ladies….or get stiched. stich up ladies.

  27. 27
    Izal says:

    At least we had a policy.

  28. 28
    P l e b says:

    All very valid points. Downing Street should not be used for party fundraising.

  29. 29
    Dan Hodges says:

    The BBC’s Norman Smith says Labour are investigating whether the notes were left in a toilet………

    In which case why didn’t Owen Jones find them ?

  30. 30
    Andrew Efiong says:

    Left in the loos?

    Presumably David Cameron used them to wipe his rear after a most satisfying discharge.

  31. 31
    ITS BLEAK IN SUNDERLAND WITH 3 LABOUR MPS AND NO FOOD BANKS says:

    Labour and Ed are going down the toilet because they are both sh*t

  32. 32
    shirtsleeves says:

    .
    .
    .the substance is so naff that only the frills will do.
    fril on babes.
    or even fry in oil babes.
    .
    .hence always be the icing.
    no suga.
    justice.
    z gives it to you straight.
    just ice.
    for a few dollup
    dolls up.

  33. 33
    fruitcake says:

    Nah, the sheets already had shit all over them.

  34. 34
    Jonathon Reynolds says:

    I wuz busting for shit.

  35. 35
    Mornington Crescent says:

    ..or, indeed, the tissues…

  36. 36
    Inka says:

    I am surprised they weren’t found by a Labour MP

  37. 37
    Ellie-Mae (8) says:

    Well, you’re in it now, enjoy!

  38. 38
    Kingo says:

    This is a fucking pantomime script

    Who wrote it? Barry Chuckles barber?

  39. 39
    me and my shadows. says:

    .
    .shirt lives.
    .shirtsleeves.
    . its a stichup boyo.
    . ketchup anyone
    so ketup for shadow1, periperi for shadow2
    so many
    .
    .
    .so manynshadows and so little time.
    hence
    belt
    5.
    5 zones, must be time in it ….time is money but flows like urine.

  40. 40
    Ron Barras says:

    Miliband’s notes are about as substantial as a sheaf of bog paper.

  41. 41
    Sir William Waad says:

    There are some decent debating points in Milicluskey’s notes, though nothing of substance, of course (this is only the PMG game show, after all), but they lack somebody presentable to put them across.

  42. 42
    Labour don't take kindly to being embarrassed says:

    That pps better be careful he’s not invited to a meeting in Harrowden Hills.

  43. 43
    Community psychiatric nurse says:

    Does your psychiatrist know that you are failing to take your medication?

  44. 44
    Back1woodsman says:

    Soft, strong and very, very, wrong.

  45. 45
    Andy Burnham cereal killer says:

    Leave him be, he’s had a full range of medication courtesy of Mid-Staffs NHS and is now better than best.

  46. 46
    Sir William Waad says:

    it was spring
    it was autumn
    .
    frost, sugary in the sun
    leaves, deliquescent, warm, decaying
    .
    punctuation?
    .
    I eat a peach
    .
    the mermaids sing
    I do not think they will sing
    anything by one direction
    .
    why
    why do we park on a driveway
    and drive on a parkway
    why
    .
    Why?

  47. 47
    Mark Oaten says:

    I don’t like toilet paper.

  48. 48
    me and my shadows. says:

    .
    .
    I is mistakenly thought of as holy.
    now the god that is the shit within.
    .
    .
    want to worship god, then get in the toilet.
    to..let.
    oh….dear god is cheap.
    so….where is all the money.
    .
    .
    There is nothing straight in life except money.
    follow the money is follow the world.
    .
    .
    .blairites are leaders?
    .reality has a leader?
    .
    .
    To be a leader..do not follow the money.
    they are all locked up.
    .
    .
    .
    we all carry fake iou as court will not accept a copy of a signature.
    BoE rather grandly has its own court.
    only the randy is grand.
    4 kids are the 4 shadows.
    Gold man has the knowledge.
    it must own london.

  49. 49
    The BBC Crooks can talk to police. says:

    Labour politics are boggin!

  50. 50
    Fishy says:

    Never mind the lefties will be able to retaliate later…

    With Murray playing like a twat they’ll be able to say ‘Curse of Cameron…Curse of Cameron…Pieces of Eight…Pieces of Eight.’

  51. 51
    technical support says:

    I think ‘he’ is some sort of automated script.

  52. 52
    M102 says:

    Has it been tested for traces of c0ke?

  53. 53
    Brown out & pay me damages. Respect my legal rights ! Problem solved. says:

    I’ve got the runs!

  54. 54
    Ponces says:

    Good Lord, what an appalling little runt he is. Is that it? Seriously, is that the level, the sum total of the ability of the leader of the opposition…

  55. 55
    Jimmy says:

    Coincidentally, Lightweight’s notes have now emerged as well….

    1. Len McCluskey
    2. ..er
    3…that’s it.
    4. See you all again in the new year.

  56. 56
    technical support says:

    Definitely either a robot or that mad taffy fucker again.

  57. 57
    M102 says:

    “I’d relish a debate on why my notes were left in the carzy”

    What a c’unt.

  58. 58
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    What appalling snivelling incoherent drivel. The only consolation must be that the coalition parties can’t be quite as bad as Labour’s portrayal in these notes.

    Oh! just a moment ….

  59. 59
    technical support says:

    Behold. The ultimate fucking tribal apologist.

  60. 60
    Marcus Tullius Cicero says:

    I always found that having a jolly good dump while mugging up my speech did wonders for my performances in the Senate. Oh yes, a good crap clears the custard! So you can imagine my dismay to find that fat so-and-so, Cataline, monopolisng the khazi, the other day. Would he come out? Would he, by Jupiter! Soon there was a queue of us, all bursting for a No.2.

    “How long, Catiline, will you abuse our patience?” I bellowed.

  61. 61
    I will not have my legal rights treated like rubbish! says:

    Scum!

  62. 62
    Dermot Ologist says:

    Left in and by a s**thouse

  63. 63
    M102 says:

    Ahhh did they call you back to the office to start the rapid rebuttal?

  64. 64
    Sue Brown and the BBC! says:

    The BBC can jog on and so can the Labour cocksucking journalists!

  65. 65
    MB. says:

    They look more like a script than ‘briefing notes’

  66. 66
    Mark Oaten says:

    Strange choice of @rsewipe

  67. 67
    Sue Brown and the BBC! says:

    So Labour’s ethics are in the toilet along with BBC’s journalism!

  68. 68
    Geoffrey Brooking says:

    Jobs for the boys @ the councils

    I say jobs for the boys @ the councils

    Dinners for unions in Downing Street

    I say Dinners for unions in Downing Street

    Unite Everyone

    I say Unite and we shall win!

  69. 69
    I will not have my legal rights treated like rubbish says:

    Disgraceful!

  70. 70
    Samantha says:

    Theresa May, a well known idiot, who wants, as usual, to disregard expert advisers and label as criminals any people who possess quat, has disregarded the evidence before, personally undermining her own pathetic government’s promise to reduce the far greater harms caused by alcohol, yet themselves enjoying it at every possible opportunity.

  71. 71
    Derek Draper says:

    You don’t hear much about me anymore, do you?

  72. 72
    Bigus Tubarsus says:

    “it is not Cataline in here. It is I, Prezzacus! Bolt your armour on Cicero! This may take a while.”

  73. 73
    Big Dave says:

    Weak!

  74. 74
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    Ay, they could have read the sun and then used that

  75. 75
    Alice Spring says:

    So. Egypt.
    That’s not looking good.

    Oil price rising. Let’s get this fracking shale gas out of the ground, switch to gas powered cars and have 20 years without giving a flying fuck what the rag heads get up to.

  76. 76
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    They could have taken the Tit and Bum in there, ogled page 3, then wiped their backsides on that

  77. 77
    Geoffrey Brooking says:

    Because he was too busy having a slagging match with Simon Danczuk :)

  78. 78
    Portfolio says:

    You leave Sheep out of this…

  79. 79
    Mark Anthony says:

    “My chariot has a leopard skin interior. GHrrroowwwlll”

  80. 80
    Sue Brown. says:

    What is that pile shite I just read?

  81. 81
    Portugal says:

    Hey Merkel! Lend us 64 billion euros.
    Quick. its all kicking off.

  82. 82
    Mahatma Coat says:

    Pity someone did not flush the notes and their owner

  83. 83
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    Bill, are they forming a concert party or going to put on a pantomime?

  84. 84
    Attila the Huhne says:

    Can’t get your message out in PMQs? Leave your briefing notes in the bogs & the media will do your work for you.

  85. 85
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    there is something that seems to set him off, it’s not Owen Jones is it?

  86. 86

    Hey Ed, while we’re on this “… in Downing Street” theme, here is a less alliterative version of the Labour years … in Downing Street:

        – Honours for Labour donors in Downing Street
        – Police questions for Labour Prime Minister in Downing Street
        – Unminuted sofa Labour cabinets in Downing Street
        – Lies and deeply unpleasant smears from McBride in Downing Street
        – Illegal war planned by Labour in Downing Street
        – Worse recession for generations planned and implemented in Downing Street

  87. 87
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    Hhhhmmmmmmm

  88. 88
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    You’ve started him off again Chucks

  89. 89
    Old Blind Pugh says:

    Izal, you must be a lot older than you look, not seen that name since Newton Chambers was split up

  90. 90
    Bazinga! says:

    Was Kevin MaGuire in those toilets? He normally is.

  91. 91
    BBC bum bandit says:

    Climate change!

  92. 92
    Tachybaptus says:

    You could still buy Izal Medicated in Waitrose until a couple of years ago. The old rich continued to use it to tickle their leathery, calloused arseholes, while the poor coddled themselves with Charmin.

    However, they only used it because they could no longer get the real nobs’ hard paper, Bromo, ‘so well known that lengthy description is not necessary’. See:

    http://tinyurl.com/obyxqqo

  93. 93
    Tachybaptus says:

    Those who would like to savour the mild charm of qat can buy it from a tiny shop in the pedestrian underpass where the Marylebone Flyover crosses the Edgware Road. I think they spell it ‘chat’, but the transliteration of ق is variable.

  94. 94
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Were Miliband’s notes faxed direct from Unite headquarters?

  95. 95
    Anonymous says:

    Have you got mental problems or are you 12 ?

  96. 96
    The Secret Diary of Edward Mole (Aged 43 1/2) says:

    Blinky beat me again while playing wanky biscuit. He flicked my end when I was nearly there. Last week he snatched my picture of Mandelson.

  97. 97
    Prof. Estaban, Institute of Studies says:

    Seems the flush didn’t work, but the shite-house is the most appropriate place for socialist propaganda and policies.

  98. 98
    DAVE one tern DISASTER says:

    He dropped them while taking one through the glory hole

  99. 99
    Ed Miliband says:

    Cursesth! I’ve lefth the nothes in the sthitter.

  100. 100
    bergen says:

    It’s called statesmanship.

  101. 101
    Anonymous says:

    I’m amazed Ed is allowed to go to the toilet on his own! See what happens when no one is keeping an eye on him! What a total waste of adenoid space he is! He’s the best thing Cameron could have wished for come 2015 most people would even go with a continuation of the awful coalition than have Ed anywhere near power. He is the embodiment of the two-faced millionaire Labour oligarchy that Blair made the norm.

  102. 102
    dai laughing says:

    NOW PLEASE WASH YOUR HANDS


Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath


Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS


Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:






RSS


AddThis Feed Button
Archive


Labels
Guido Reads
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,717 other followers