June 6th, 2013

Show Us Your Laser, Ed

The line from Ed’s speech  that pushed the boundaries of credibility was his promise to “be laser-focused on how we spend every single pound.” Lasers equal precision. So where is the precise detail of how Ed intends to get the welfare bill down? So far we have only had vague pledges to spend more by building houses and somehow guarantee jobs (presumably in the public-sector) which doesn’t bode well for the debt. Hardly laser like…

The TaxPayers’ Alliance has shot down Ed’s vague policy ideas to deal with welfare problems:

Housing Benefit
The main cause of Britain’s ever-increasing housing benefit bill is a lack of housing supply due to planning restrictions, not poorly negotiated deals by local authorities. Freeing up private investment in housing will bring down housing costs for everyone, including the Housing Benefit bill. Trying to cut Housing Benefit by increasing direct spending on housing won’t help taxpayers.
Grants for living wage
Offering taxpayers’ money to companies in return for paying a living wage would do little more than link two bad polices into one. Incentives for companies to switch from low-paid jobs to capital investment could lead to fewer jobs, not more.
Tax Credits and low pay
Heavy business taxes and onerous regulations mean companies have to pay lower wages. The Government should stop making it so expensive to hire low-paid workers by cutting business taxes like employer’s National Insurance and let workers keep more of the money they earn.  
The contributory principle
Benefits and taxes are already too complicated. Reform should focus on expecting people to work for their benefits and preparing job-seekers for the job market while simplifying the system. 

Guido was told that while discussing another much trailed big speech in January, the late Maggie told a friend that the problem with modern politicians is that “they think that once they’ve given a speech, something has happened.” That anecdote came to mind this morning…


  1. 1
    Tachybaptus says:

    The point about laser beams is that they don’t spread out.


    • 4
      Neo-Guido says:

      they’re moving


      • 15
        Aliens have landed says:

        Everything this super-alien sees gets burnt up.
        No detail left undisturbed.
        Nothing is left to do.

        Super-alien come winter fly to the heavens and warm up the UK.
        Super-alien can zap bad boys in foreign countries.
        Super-alien can gets a brit to be first man on mars by powering a solar power-craft there and back.
        Super-alien can squeeze oodles of electricity out of and old solar panel when the sun doesn’t shine.

        Super-alien can say anything.


        • 32
          Roswell UFO sightings says:

          ******OFFICIAL WARNINGS**********


          Aliens did land in Roswell and were captured.

          Somehow they started breeding with humans creating a “who can say anything” being.

          We can instantly identify them because they are green.
          They have been exterminated.

          A very few are not green.

          They ingratiate themselves by arriving from another land with forged identification.

          Do what ever you can to remove them (or else) prior to them making the earth inhabitable for their own aliens beings.

          They will wipe out the human race. Be under no illusions.


    • 21
      tax payers alliance says:

      and who funds them?

      transparency they cry, just not with us


    • 22
      SP4 BS says:

      of course, you put a rotating mirror in front of them, and a bit of smoke, otherwise they’re not visible. Makes them into that 80’s disco thing. like in the video for “relax”. Wonder if Guido I and II sing that in the office. hwwwoooooah!

      Another pedantic point: Laser beams aren’t really focused are they?


      • 85
        CarryHole is a porcine homunculus says:

        Lasers are parallel beams. Lasers could be described by intensity, but not focused.

        Before he tries to grow a backbone Ed should invest in some STEM learning.


        • 100
          SP4 BS says:

          Don’t worry. its just git-speak he’s picked up from watching the apprentice or somehting like that.


    • 43
      National Socialism is Socialism says:

      Those are perhaps swivel eyed laser beams ?


    • 81
      CarryHole is a porcine homunculus says:



      Dave What teh fuck are you doing???

      How long till UKIP.org is deemed unacceptable for our internet mary whitehouses?


  2. 2
    Blair Witch Project says:

    Devil Eyes


    • 33
      Anonymous says:

      The devil in Liebor perhaps.. but what all members of the LibLabCon party are ignoring on purpose is typified by Ed.

      “The main cause of Britain’s ever-increasing housing benefit bill is a lack of housing supply due to planning restrictions, not poorly negotiated deals by local authorities.”

      Err, the main reason why the bill for housing benefit is going up… is becuase too many people are claiming it.

      Trying to reduce the bill by building more houses will push house prices down and mean Green Belt is destroyed. If your population is not increasing, you dont need to build more houses.

      Join the dots – unrestricited unskilled immigration…..increasing benefit claims……ECHR…….Reducing wages and high unenployment ……EU membership


      • 92
        CarryHole is a porcine homunculus says:

        > reduce the bill by building more houses will push house prices down

        A good idea anyway so let’s do it. Falls in land affordability are not good for the economy.


    • 54
      Can you smell the sulphur says:

      Which biblical area of Israel does Blair spend time in now


  3. 3
    acrb.png says:

    VOTE UKIP, nice bunch


    the old ‘i was hacked’ defence.

    its funny how many people claim that when they’ve done something daft on social media.


    • 5
      • 30
        Anonymous says:

        If I were childish I would put a link like this http://labour25.com/ on a left leaning site and make the ludicrous assumption that because 25 Labour politicians love kids therefore ALL Labour politicians must be bad. Makes you think about the reverse of that though – imagine the type of pillock that would go to a right leaning site with a link which highlights BBC scaremongering about ONE man who has been charged with NOTHING trying to make the assumption that the party that the innocent man represents must therefore be questionable in some way? That would make me look like a total chump if I did that!


      • 46
        The Stench of Hypocrisy says:

        Good for them, the multi culti sect are the problem, not the solution to this countries problems.

        Meanwhile care to comment on these guys?



        • 61
          Point of Information says:

          It is quite a bit above 25 now, isn’t it ?

          This should also be explained on a left leaning site, like the Staggers or Huff Po:


          – The Hamilton’s despite winning the libel and being cleared by the courts, still need a proper apology.


    • 26
      Anonymous says:

      They should vote for the “LibLabCon” coalition party, shouldn’t they.

      Look at one of your party members and how eloquently he ingratiates himself with the enrichers, he is almost fluent in Arabic.


    • 51
      LibLabCon tossers says:

      Have your Liblabcon funded UAF thugs broken up any more UKIP meetings yet?


    • 63
      Point of Information says:

      Erm: It’s not exactly the ‘old’ I was hacked defense. This is still relatively new technology, which is not controlled within the UK.

      Just look at the details and apply a credibility filter. Even if the guy harbored those views, after getting elected he would have to be pretty retarded to express them that way, and express them in public in that way.

      It would perhaps be better for politicians to not use Facebook period as it is an insecure medium with potentially politically fatal consequences if compromised.

      UKIP may be ahead of the game to learn that lesson now.


      • 93
        SP4 BS says:

        credibility filter:

        I’m guessing that Facebook is secure, very secure.
        Far more likely to be able to hack the blokes PC. but its a level of skill I can’t quite imagine would be available to anti-ukippers.

        I’d just wonder what time the posts were made. Sometimes this bloke comes and types shit from my PC when I’m busy downstairs watching TV and drnking beer.


    • 71
      White hat geek says:

      The ‘I was hacked’ defense is valid, unless it can be proved that the account was not compromised.

      The ‘hacked’ possibility was one of the main justifications used for not proceeding with prosecution of many people who were identified by Operation Ore for signing up to and downloading child porn from a US site in early 2000’s.

      In particular, those not prosecuted included many prominent Labour politicians whose credit card details and computers were compromised by otherwise unknown people signing up for and then downloading child pornography.


      • 79
        SP4 BS says:

        I’m not entirely sure what “hacked” is supposed to mean in these cases. I’m finding it hard to believe that theres some sort of organised technical attack on this obscure ukipper’s PC. I wonder what his credit card statements would look like. Unless of course someone finds it more lucrative or important to make him look bad, rather than actually taking money from him.

        I’m guessing its “left my computer logged in” or a bloody obvious password. Both of which would mean the account was not compromised.


        • 116
          White hat geek says:

          Probably the obvious password, or mal-ware picking up.

          It is the what people are willing to believe which has caused him to have to quit.

          If there was a compromise and it was not by someone he knew, then there are plenty of government bods out there who are paid to specifically do this kind of thing.

          That people are not so willing to believe, but is in fact a truth.


    • 96
      CarryHole is a porcine homunculus says:

      “Anti-racism” probably anti white, as the MSM definition of “racism” means white people only (itself racist).

      Good for UKIP, ending the cult of PC apartheid.


  4. 6

    What a beamer…..sorry… Dreamer he is!


  5. 7
    the poor bloody taxpayer says:


    may the lord preserve us (and vice-versa)


  6. 8
    Ed Miliband says:

    My nose is a flat as the N-Ed-erlands.


  7. 10
    Newsfox says:

    The Tories should be subject to meanies testing.


    • 53
      The Stench of Hypocrisy says:

      The Tory party are not mean enough.

      They are still gouging over 50% of MY money, that I earned and pissing it away on what can only be described as, utter shite.


  8. 12
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    Calm down.

    Apart possibly from running that stamp club at his local comprehensive school Minibrand has run absolutely nothing in his life.

    I cannot see the habits of a lifetime about to change.


    • 14
      Bog Standard Comp says:

      And we’re missing the stamps again!


    • 25
      Len McCluskey says:

      We will run the Labour party, and ergo, the country after 2015.
      We will grind it into dust.
      Your distinctiveness will be added to our collective.
      Resistance is futile.


      • 60
        The Stench of Hypocrisy says:

        Just how should I put this to you Len? Oh I’ll just say it anyway.

        A ComRes poll for Open Europe puts UKIP on 27% for the EU elections with Labour in second place on 23% and the Tories on 21%. The Lib Dems are a distant fourth with just 9%.

        It’s just a matter of time now.


  9. 13
    Dodgy Hodgy says:

    Remember to tell HMRC you’re ordinarily resident in Cloudcuckooland for tax purposes, Ed.


  10. 15
    Toby Young says:

    Owen Jones says no to payday loan company sponsorship. Right & righteous tweeter and village idiot. More could learn from him.


    • 102
      CarryHole is a porcine homunculus says:

      Owen Jones clarified that he wanted people to visit “Loan Sharks, not heavily regulated lenders!” as it gave jobs to local meat heads.


  11. 17
    Peter Martin says:

    “they think that once they’ve given a speech, something has happened.”

    Amazingly, the politco-media estate has managed to ‘evolve’ this facile delusion even further by the now barking ‘what he will say’ school of #prasnews.

    Still, no matter how stuffed up, some edit suites are on hand to turn it into ‘what he should have said’ or ‘what he meant was’ if even this risible punting technique sinks and the now inevitable tidy-up omissions of howlers look like leaving nothing to report.


  12. 18
    Just a Thought says:

    Labour simply lacks economic credibility. As they say in Yorkshire; ‘talk is cheap!


    • 64
      Billy Mill-Roundabout says:

      Or in the North East – If patter was watter, we’d arl be drooned!


  13. 19
    Translation Service says:

    Laser = union


    • 108
      Curly says:

      A few years ago I had a Ford Laser. Nice motor, but it had a tendency to pull hard to the left.


  14. 23
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    Ed Miliband speaks utter drivel. On the DP they have Jacqui Smith defending Miliband, then we were subjected to Liam Byrne speaking for five minutes but saying nothing.
    Labour have plumbed new depths.


  15. 28
    Owen Farage-Jones says:

    Dear Latvians, after you join the Euro, would you like to buy some Betamax videos?


    • 41
      Anonymous says:

      Or you can come and get a free house in Kensington & Chelsea, healthcare, schooling, benefits etc etc and a car if you’ve got a bad back over here in England..

      What do you think ?


      • 68
        David Cameron ( Fabian ) says:

        I am proud of a society that welcomes others, who are less fortunate, from around the world and gives them a standard of living they can only have dreamed of in the countries they have left.

        That society is here in the UK and I implore you all to come and join us.

        You will all get a free home, free education, free healthcare, free education and last but not least, free money for you and all of your extended family.


  16. 31
    Dianne Abbott says:

    Jacqui Smith has more chins than a chinese telephone directory.


    • 36
      John Prescott says:

      I love a good 69.

      Kung Pow Chicken.


    • 48
      Jacqui Smith Hate Club says:

      That’s because she remains loyal to a husband who jerks off to porn rather than shagging her.


      • 66
        Anonymous says:

        and she kept him in employment of ?£40k.

        You are automatically sacked elsewhere for porn watching in office time or putting it on expenses.

        Very surprised our media and co didn’t relentlessly raise it.

        Surprised TPA, UKIP etc haven’t taken them to court over overpaid income.

        Whats good for the workers is good for the boss.


      • 83
        burnt plug says:

        and to his income.

        and in any other walk of life watching porn at work or putting it on expenses would be clear you desk and get out in one hour notice.

        Whats good for the workers is good for the boss.

        wanking at work well constant humiliation.

        Why the media and opponents never let this go you will know.

        Not too late for TPA, UKIP, UNITE.. to sue for over paid income.


        • 87
          I'm not paying any more says:

          Why does the BBC persist with employing disgraced former Labour politicians. Isn’t it bad enough that licence payers money goes to Muslim terrorists?


          • CarryHole is a porcine homunculus says:

            They also employed Saville and lots of others in his p43dophile nest.


  17. 34
    Fuck the Labour Party and all its crooked cunts says:

    Don’t you just love the hypocrisy of the left?

    Coalition cuts = cruel, heartless cuts to hurt the poor.

    Labour plan to make cuts = fiscal responsibility.



  18. 37
    Ed Millionaireband says:

    Peww peww peww!
    Look at me shooting down Gordo’s debt mountain, peww peww peww, YEAH!

    Come on bollock Ed peww peww peww peww peww peww….


  19. 38
    Ed Miliband's Boss says:

    McCluskey says sack Balls.
    McCluskey says promise to increase the minimum wage.
    McCluskey says pledge an increase in public sector jobs.
    Give Nigel Evans a massage.


  20. 40
    Phil D Brown-Envelopes, Local Planning Officer says:

    One small problem with the idea of “Freeing up private investment in housing will bring down housing costs for everyone” is that it’s blue sky bollocks, I’m afraid – and potentially dangerous bollocks at that.

    First: A property developer wants maximum bang for his (or her) buck – most profit for fewer actual properties built – inescapable law of capitalism… lets call it “The First Law of Capitalism”.

    Second: Councils only like to extend on what’s already there, at the expense of the poor bastards who pay for the councils, and then usually in the nicest parts, which was why the people living there moved to it in the first place – but that then violates “The First Law of Socialism” – if YOU have something nice, lets share it out with those that don’t and didn’t pay for it, NO… not us making the policy – YOU, the little people, with some money but not in some form of government.

    Thirdly: Agricultural land, woodland and pasture land are extremely valuable resources, of which the UK has a finite and rapidly dwindling supply… food security anyone? Bio mass is grown on…? (Even though bio mass burners will become the biggest smoking gun since nuclear – not radioactive but doubly polluting – it’s not CO2 neutral, and it cannot be supplied local to the generation, so has to be trucked in!!) (p.s. The EU is contemplating removing the green credentials of Bio Mass – so no local generation, no “green” housing.

    Do try and keep up.


    • 56
      Political Take says:

      The first law of socialism with respect to destroying the countryside in order to make everywhere equally shit is particular to Maoism.

      The first law of socialism with respect to destroying the cities in order to make everywhere equally shit is particular to Lenninism.

      Strip out the immigrants, ie. Allowing every sod and his dog + extended family in from the failed ex-commie countries will solve two problems:

      i) Kill this socialist lunacy that wants to make the UK shit
      ii) Free up a lot of housing removing the need to build more.

      Looking around, people seem to not notice that despite prices going sky high, the actual quality of housing stock in the UK is pretty poor, and the quality of life impact is immense.

      The UK owe those people nothing. Why is quality of UK life being eroded like this ? That does not make any rational sense.


      • 70
        Phil D Brown-Envelopes, Local Planning Officer says:

        What you just said – +100, with gratitude!


      • 106
        CarryHole is a porcine homunculus says:

        Do BOTH!

        Allow building houses (If there’s profit in building them, it’ll get done).
        Kick out foreign claimants.


  21. 47
    pissed off voter says:

    This banker tax is gonna pay for an awful lot of things, apparently.


  22. 55
    Bazinga! says:

    I see Obumma has been doingmore snooping. What do you expect if you elect a Muslim


  23. 59
    John Tandy says:

    LOL Dave yes LOL

    Laugh a Lot…..


    • 65
      Owen Jones says:

      What in the name of fuck has this got to do with anything? Jesus wept!


      • 74
        Owen's Aunty Myfanwy, babysitting the little tit says:

        Owen!! Stop blaspheming in the street! Your Mum will be back from her job at the fish processing factory in a few minutes and I’ll tell on you!


      • 75
        Owen Jones Mother says:

        Owen behave yourself


        • 82
          Owen's Aunty Myfanwy, babysitting the little tit says:

          Thank god your back, love. He keeps locking himself in the outside toilet, with a copy of Attitude and one of Das Kapital ! I don’t mind the frenzied wanking, it’s the bloody speeches that get right on my tits!

          Cup of tea, love?


          • Owen Jones Mother says:

            I should of never taken owen to a kylie concert, it really messed him up.


          • Owen's Aunty Myfanwy, babysitting the little tit says:

            You’re not to blame yourself, love. You’ve been a saint where he’s concerned, a bloody saint and a martyr. There’s always one in every family… and he is definitely the one in ours!


  24. 72
    Tosspot says:

    OK so which Laser is looking at me ?


  25. 88
    Tosspot says:

    Has Dave considered he is reducing Britain’s standing in the world by promoting Sodomites and expecting Countries and Religions where this practice is repugnant ( as it was here, only a few years back ) to still respect us as a World Power, it will be interesting to see how many Votes this whimsy has cost the Party in the long run,


  26. 89
    Sir William Waad says:

    I am trying to think how the Labour might be liable for tax on dividends received. Incorporated bodies do not pay tax on dividends. An unincorporated association would normally only be liable to basic-rate incine tax and this would be ‘franked’ by the dividend tax credit.

    So I think Ed Miliband is talking out of his fundament.


  27. 107
    MW says:

    From a physics point of view, Ed Milliband has got it all wrong. Laser beams aren’t focussed (like Ed), the whole point is that they will go to infinity without joining up. Whereas, laser beams are ‘coherent’ – something Ed can only aspire to.


  28. 115
    Berty says:

    We don’t have too little housing, we have too many immigrants.


  29. 117
    alexei says:

    The green eyed monster!


  30. 119
    Labour=Waste says:

    Laser focus? Are you sure he didn’t just say “lazy focus” Guido?


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