May 15th, 2013

DPMQs LIVE: Where’s Dave? Edition

Dave has decided that touring the States on a bus with Prince Harry is more important than allowing himself to be held to account in parliament. Despite the events of the past week. That means, farcically, it falls to Clegg and Harman to agree with each other across the despatch box this lunchtime. Comments in the comments please…


146 Comments

  1. 1
    pollygirl says:

    Lets get this over with. Boozer calling

    Like

    • 6
      8illy Kebab says:

      Lovering it

      Like

      • 90
        fear.sum or less. says:

        the mark of zorro.
        .
        nature v nurture.
        .
        roots v energi weapon.
        its allhocuspocus..
        .
        snakes and roots are kegless…so feed em milk or charm em. it is the year of the snake. … ma ka bul. the fox that is silent.
        .
        dogs wants a piece of yu 4 peace. 42. it is energiaware.
        goodluck2all.
        when it does not rain it pours
        cats and dogs.
        whie dog eats dog,
        the cat does it’s own ting.

        Like

    • 71
      Munkhopton says:

      Shapps is shite

      He has no appeal to anyone

      He is too golf club members lounge

      Like

  2. 2
    Yorkshire pudding says:

    aye up!

    Like

  3. 2
    Windmills & Woofters says:

    All leave has been cancelled for Openreach telephone engineers in the Westminster area.

    Like

  4. 4
    Windmills & Woofters says:

    Tristram the socialist ffs

    Like

  5. 5
    WelshRacer says:

    You notice how it’s the opposition always asking about Europe?

    Like

  6. 7
    pollygirl says:

    BONER calling

    Like

  7. 8
    Bloody hell says:

    A guarantee in law, my fucking arse.

    Like

  8. 9
    Windmills & Woofters says:

    Cam – cluck, cluck, peck, peck, cluck, cluck…

    Like

  9. 10
    Bercow watch says:

    Thats a very gay tie bercow is wearing

    Like

  10. 11
    Left are nobs says:

    Harman talk about a rich bitch.

    Like

  11. 12

    The PM isn’t here…

    Well ..he’s in America. Switch the telly on you stupid bint, you’ll see.

    Like

  12. 13
    Bercow watch says:

    WTF is harman wearing around her neck

    Like

  13. 14
    Left are nobs says:

    She is still as stupid

    Like

  14. 15
    Fuck the LibLabCon says:

    In or out referendum now.

    Like

    • 55
      Dee Supmother-Brown says:

      Or a shake it all about referendum later. What if the Hokey Cokey IS what it’s all about.

      Like

  15. 17
    Windmills & Woofters says:

    …Clegg talking bollocks – we want an in / out ref

    Like

  16. 18
    Owen Jones says:

    @ Nick Clegg

    Ohh love me a “copper bottom”

    x

    Like

  17. 19
    Left are nobs says:

    Bercow, its a bog chain.

    Like

  18. 20

    Clegg got off a zinger. Well done jelly bones.

    Like

  19. 21
    Windmills & Woofters says:

    Clegg dreaming of his EU Commissioner job. Hope someone blocks the twat.

    Like

  20. 22
    Yvonne from The Colliers Arms Clydach says:

    He is not very good at managing his diary is Mr Cameron.

    My Gran used to tell me if a man cannot organize his time well he is a waste of space.

    Like

    • 144
      yvemaria says:

      Your Gran Apeaks the TRUTH,Cameron alway’s Jumps Ship when the He is Under Presure……GET HIM OUT NOW…WHO Pay’s for ALL of His Trips ABROAD…………US OF COURSE.

      Like

  21. 23
    Bercow watch says:

    Ladyboy cooper is looking very boyish today

    Like

  22. 25
    Gawd Help Us says:

    FFS Harriet, we’re better off without him.

    Like

  23. 26

    Harman has been shite at this deputy job for 6 years.
    why don’t Labour dump the mad moo for someone credible?

    Like

  24. 27
    Left are nobs says:

    Harman is super rich how can she moan about the poor.

    Like

  25. 28
    Confused Tory says:

    Harriet Harman looks more bangable than usual in those reading glasses and glossy lipstick.

    Like

  26. 29
    head Balls says:

    Mrs Balls’ head looks like ball.

    Like

  27. 30
    pollygirl says:

    Cleaners are all birds Clegg

    Like

  28. 31
    Question for Clegg, Deputy Mong says:

    Where is Dave’s spine ?

    Like

  29. 33
    Labour: Still corrupt, still nasty says:

    Gotta give credit where it’s due, Clegg is on good form.

    Like

  30. 35
    Anonymous says:

    So he went for a bit of a bus trip with another old etonian.What’s the fuss about?

    Like

  31. 36
    Left are nobs says:

    Are Harman word written for her, has she no idea how to ask a question without a prompt.

    Like

    • 44
      Labour: Still corrupt, still nasty says:

      Of course they’re pre-scripted. She probably needs a prompt to remember her own name. Hattie is thick as pigshit.

      Case in point:

      Like

  32. 37
    Gawd Help Us says:

    Well that was a waste of time Hattie.

    Like

  33. 39
    Question for Clegg, Deputy Mong says:

    Why is there a P3d0 supporter asking questions at the opposition dispatch box ?

    Where’s Wallace ?

    Like

  34. 40
    Bloody hell says:

    Can Parliament sink any lower than this?
    Truly dreadful rubbish.

    Like

  35. 43
    Ed Balls says:

    Ed Balls.

    Like

  36. 45
    Windmills & Woofters says:

    Have the EU found the oil co.s guilty already? Must have missed that…

    Like

  37. 46
    EU Watch says:

    Unconvincing waffle / lie about the referendum.

    Vote UKIP.

    Like

  38. 47
    Left are nobs says:

    Can’t be Muslims being racist can they?

    Like

  39. 48
    A Tory says:

    No doubt about it. Nick is better at the PMQ thingy than Dave.

    Like

  40. 49
    Ghost Of Thatcher says:

    Little rich girl Harman ain’t fit to lick my boots.

    Like

  41. 52
    EU Watch says:

    If we cannot trust beef not to be horse, how can we be expected to believe that the EU is best placed to ensure that oil prices are not rigged ?

    This is an EU attack on the ICE.

    Clegg talking about domestic child sex trafficking is embarrassing.

    There are no lessons to be learned: Those lessons are already learned. Unless he is interested in getting involved in the business.

    Like

  42. 53
    Windmills & Woofters says:

    No one else reads the LD manifesto

    Like

  43. 54
    Left are nobs says:

    ATOS brought in by Labour, the NHS fu**ed by Labours PFI, no wonder there are no beds, labour made sure Labour PFI hospitals had thousands of fewer beds.

    Like

  44. 58
    Windmills & Woofters says:

    Rent boy factory???

    Like

  45. 60
    EU Watch says:

    With respect higher cost of petrol in UK, questions should be asked again about why Coryton refinery in the SE was closed down. That closure does have national security implications.

    Like

  46. 61
    Left are nobs says:

    Ed Ball mrs looks like her head is a bubble.

    Like

  47. 62
    Windmills & Woofters says:

    Rory Stewart – can a man be anatomically MORE up his own arse?

    Like

  48. 63
    Bercow watch says:

    Vince cable is looking confused again,WTF am I, WTF am I?

    Like

  49. 64
    Windmills & Woofters says:

    Celt Count = too bleeding many

    Like

  50. 65
    Shove a windmill up their ass says:

    Aren’t the smart grids there to switch off your fridge ?

    Note use of word energy community.

    Clegg is communitarian filth.

    Like

  51. 66
    Going well says:

    But why is Petrol dearer nay a lot dearer nay many times dearer on the motorways?

    Like

  52. 67
    Tristan Hunt........ says:

    What more proof do you need that Labour is no longer the working class man’s party?

    Like

  53. 68
    Penfold says:

    Well of course Call me Dave is going to keep a low profile.
    His so-called budget deal with the EU, reducing spending, has gone down in flames with the EU actually increasing the budget demands on the membership.
    And, now we find that Brussels wants Bank Resolution(Crisis) Funds instituted, a policy we had resisted, that will costs taxpayers billions.
    So much for deals, so much for reform.
    And by staying in the States he can avoid all the awkward questions and calls for a referendum now rather than 2017 and invoking Article 50.
    In fact, lets call Homeland Security, and dob him in as a jihadi convert and they can render him to Gitmo with our blessings.

    Like

    • 87
      Tessa Tickles says:

      Screw article 50 and the “two years’ notice”, just withdraw. If Brussels complains, we have nukes.

      Like

  54. 70
    Bercow watch says:

    Rory Stewart looks like an extra from the Hobbit

    Like

  55. 72
    Tight yfronts says:

    Scottish men have dreadfully squeaky wee voices, haven’t they?

    Like

  56. 73
    Left are nobs says:

    I spy fatty abby

    Like

  57. 75
    Owin Jones says:

    Without repeating myself for the millionth time, when did I say we shouldn’t talk to Guido Fawkes and his chums?! Agh!

    Like

  58. 76
    Impartial Observer says:

    Clegg is useless. Vote UKIP.

    Like

  59. 79
    Left are nobs says:

    Hughes takes 5 minutes to ask a question what everyone can do in 30 seconds.

    Like

  60. 81
    The Noble Lord Blaby says:

    Good to see everyone in the commons is still obsessing about Europe. It seems my work is now done.

    Like

  61. 82
    Farage against the Machine says:

    It cerainly won’t be easy deciding which minority govt. I’ll prop-up with my 7 MPs(*) in UKIP.

    (*) Based on ‘call me Dave’ Dave continuning to be a twunt.

    Like

    • 128
      Anonymous says:

      Will you be an MP (at last) then Nigel ? or will you remain in the gravy train, oops sorry, will you remain an MEP(on vastly better exies)

      Like

  62. 84
    Good joh says:

    Is that Sri Lanka, the Sri Lanka which put an end to the terrorism in its midst?

    Like

  63. 85
    Impartial Observer says:

    Lessons learned from Sri Lanka: Ignore human rights and let the government kill the terrorists. That was with our tacit support.

    Like

  64. 86
    Windmills & Woofters says:

    Fuck foreign affairs. Cam should get his arse back here & sort this shitty country out.

    Like

    • 94
      Impartial Observer says:

      Fuck those foreign affairs.

      The only important one right now is the foreign affair with respect to Europe.

      Like

    • 99
      tanzanite says:

      Well at least he’s travelling around amer ica in a bus . chuckusyamoney has been tanking round af rica in a chauffeur driven limo – all at our expense!

      Like

    • 100
      Tessa Tickles says:

      Camoron’s idea of “sorting out the country” would involve getting it deeper into debt, burying it under concrete, filling it with Romanians and forcing everyone to hug hoodies and have bumsex (or have bumsex with hoodies).

      Better he stays in America, really.

      Like

    • 112
      Vote UKIP says:

      No way. The further the PC cnut is from the U.K. the better.

      Like

      • 142
        Anon's 18 year old boyfriend says:

        A bit like Crash Bandicoot then – He should start using the argument that immigrants have taken his job (Chucky Urelunchup, Diane Fattybottymus etc…) so he can only be employed in Europe – twats like you would buy his sh1t wholesale

        Like

  65. 88
    Left are nobs says:

    It’s Tim Healy!!

    Like

  66. 92
    Nelson's Eye says:

    Who is that MP behind Clegg who is so ignorant as to keep using their ipad and texting ?

    Like

  67. 95
    tanzanite says:

    Well I suppose hatty harpic is marginally more intelligent than militwit.

    Like

  68. 97
    Impartial Observer says:

    Growth and jobs will improve once we stop wasting money on the EU.

    Like

    • 103
      tanzanite says:

      +100

      Like

    • 117
      Anonymous says:

      We need to cut regulation, tax and spending. The EU is only part of that (1% of GDP versus 45% otherwise by the coalition). We can be the sick dog of Europe perfectly well without being in the EU.

      Like

  69. 101
    Windmills & Woofters says:

    If you are a Northern Irish broadcaster, is it in your job description that you must be a fat get?

    Declan Curry, Stephen Nolan, Eamon Holmes?

    Like

    • 114
      Flubber says:

      Was in Belfast City Hosptal earlier with my dad. He was wondering whether it was in the job description of the administration staff for them to be grossly overweight.

      Like

  70. 102
    Is it me? says:

    Great way to errode support for an EU Refereundom – get one Tory Diehard to keep sniping at Clegg with the same loaded questions at PMQs . People will switch off you idiots!

    Like

    • 136
      Anonymous says:

      Why has the EU suddenly become flavour of the month ? all there people assuming we would be better of out. Where have they got their info from ? is it reliable ? )i wouldnt trust nigels figures)who on earth do they think will take over if they piss David Cameron off over this ? etc

      Like

  71. 105
    Left are nobs says:

    Alleged war criminal! Is that Tony Blair?

    Like

    • 111
      tanzanite says:

      Yep I can see StBliar would like the job of Head of the Commonwealth just so long, of course, that it came with generous remunerations and expenses.

      Like

  72. 108
    Is it me? says:

    Sorry- should be ” one Tory Diehard after another…”

    Like

  73. 110
    FACT BOMBS says:

    Cameron absent for 3% of PMQ’s
    Bliar 5%
    Brown 11% < lol

    Cameron after May 2015……100%

    Like

  74. 113
    Bravely hiding behind Obama's sofa, David Camoron says:

    Is it over yet?

    Like

  75. 122
    Ed Miliband says:

    I think Hattie looks rather fetching and dominant with those specs perched in the end of her beak. I’d like to talk to her about prawn cocktails. Well – shrimping, anyway.

    Like

  76. 143
    Portfolio says:

    Now I understand the meaning of : Arse about face.

    Like

  77. 145

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