May 14th, 2013

Darling of the Lobby

The two Eds will have been following Alistair Darling’s Lobby lunch very closely this afternoon. Darling laid down the gauntlet to Balls, showing a fair amount of leg about a possible return: “At the moment I’m totally focused on the referendum. After that I’ll see where I stand. I will maintain an interest in wider affairs.” 

Some choice words for Miliband too. Darling says Ed “needs to do more to argue case for staying in the EU”, but at least apparently he’s “doing better than people give him credit for” and there is “no need for line by line manifesto” with two years to go. He was coy on Gordon: “I have never provided a running commentary on any conversations I may or may not have had”, but was willing to jokingly flirt with another foe: “there are times I have been tempted to join UKIP”. The tease…


  1. 1
    John Wellington Wells says:

    Chuka’s gone to pave the way for our membership of the African Union.

  2. 2
    Anonymong says:

    Not first. And Tessa Tickles wants my babies.

  3. 3
    Ffion says:

    Has anyone seen my Willy?

  4. 4
    Lady Ding Dong says:

    Why would anybody take this apprentice to the architect of disaster Broon seriously. Fucker can’t even match his eyebrows to his hair.

  5. 5
    24 Hour News says:

    Is it Poppy Day already?

  6. 6
    zombie apocalypse says:

    nnnmm, nnnbbb, nnnnnrrrrr

  7. 7
    Chuka says:

    I’m campaigning for Ibiza to join the commonwealth.

  8. 8
    broderick crawford says:

    beware the curse of. halitosis hall

    Cows Trample Man To Death And Injure Another

    Sky News – 1 hour 23 minutes ago
    A man in his 60s has been trampled to death and another seriously injured by a herd of cows in Wiltshire.

    Two helicopters and an ambulance were sent to a field in Turleigh, near Winsley, at lunchtime on Monday, where one man was pronounced dead at the scene.

    The South Western Ambulance Service said he died from chest injuries.

  9. 9
    Badger Badger says:

  10. 10
    Anonymong says:

    I thought you were lining your pockets with the proceeds of 419 scams?

  11. 11
    Snaplegs says:

    Because badgers are a critical issue in Hackney?????

  12. 12
    The BBC causes serious mental illness says:

    We deny that license fee collectors will in future be visiting properties of interest in an Ice Cream van featuring teddy bears.

    Any child abductions in areas with high levels of non-license fee payment are nothing to do with us.

  13. 13
    V1le, vicious Labour ruined my Country says:

    This sums up the eu, one gigantic scam for the political class. Don’t expect any referendum as the political class have been bribed to keep in the eu.

  14. 14
    Alistair Darling says:

    Vote UKIP.

  15. 15
    V1le, vicious Labour ruined my Country says:

    I think beavers are more of a critical issue in Hackney!

  16. 16
    Suburbia says:

    I wouldn’t even let him tarmac my drive

  17. 17
    Poorly edukayted Labour scrounger says:

    That’s waaaaaaaaaaycist !

  18. 18
    Suburbia 2 says:

    I wouldn’t even let him tarmac that bit of private roadway leading up to the garage which the modbot doesn’t like. The d*ive.

  19. 19
    #Demented says:


  20. 20
    Gordon Brown says:

    Vote for an independent Remploy.

  21. 21
    Young Hackney constituent says:

    That’s because like Badgers are black and white, can’t make their minds up, innit ? Wanna buy some crack ?

  22. 22
    John Wellington Wells says:

    That’s D E A D, pronounced ‘dead’.

  23. 23
    Anonymong says:


    Lies and spin “more than doubles” ahead of election.

  24. 24
    Brown out & pay me damages. Respect my legal rights! says:

    Darling is contradicting himself: (Balls) “needs to do more to argue
    case for staying in the EU” ,
    “there are times I have been
    tempted to join UKIP” .

    A load of Baloney!

  25. 25
    Anonymong says:

    Don’t vote for an independent Scotland. Rebuild the wall and stop the Barnett Bribes.

  26. 26
    fruitcake says:

    Well stop eating them Abbott!

  27. 27
    Anonymong says:

    Good denial. It’s usually one of a fleet of several hundred Vauxhall Astras. Often silver, occasionally white.

  28. 28
    Snodgrass says:

    Oh do look at this pic

  29. 29
    fruitcake says:

    The best bit is the “no need for a line by line manifesto”

    That’s it then, vote Labour, get whatever the man with the talking stick says at the time (cue Len).

  30. 30
    Colin says:

    Peter Kelner on @BBCNews: “[Owen Jones] is very much a Westminster obsession.”

  31. 31
    Anonymong says:

    I’ll hazard a guess that any referendum on EU membership will be on the same date as the next general election.

  32. 32
    Polly Dominatrix Toynbee says:

    I am miles more sexy than you Di

  33. 33
    Fare ye Well and no come back again says:

    Vote for an Independent Scotland….Labour will be finished as the government in Westminster FOREVER as they will lose 60 MPs in 2016 when Scottish Independence becomes a fact if the YES vote wins

  34. 34
    Where are Tony Blair's expenses says:

    Let me see; in Hackney there are high levels of unemployment, crime, single parenthood and illiteracy and this stupid bitch is tweeting about badger culling.

    On the other hand if the good people of Hackney vote for her they deserve what they get.

    People of Hackney are you really that stupid ??

    How many book shops are there in Hackney and how many bookies; thats what 50 years of a labour MP does for you.

  35. 35
    Owen Jones's Dad says:

    I want a word with you about my Owen’s crush.

  36. 36
    Gord save the Queen says:

    Unibrows unite, Oasis like. Darling snips his eyebrows, bikini line like, I have heard. Wax and things, what ladies get up to downstairs, for the streamlined look.

  37. 37
    Lord Stansted says:

    Lord Mandelson’s horrifying admission that the Labour Party “sent out search parties” to ensure a wave of migration came to Britain is surely wrong. I cannot find anything about the sory on the BBC web-site. Then again …..

  38. 38
    Gord save the Queen says:

    It is quite pathetic and the height of hypocrisy for these Labour Scots to fight to keep Scotland in the Union. What planet are they on? Any Scot that votes to stay in the union is frankly psychologically nuts, ey Rab?

  39. 39
    Lord Stansted says:


  40. 40
    Mitch says:

    Funny, ‘cos Jones is like a young Kelner: a know-nothing gobshite..

  41. 41
    Gord save the Queen says:

    i’ll tell yer this, i’ll tell yer this…. I forgot…

  42. 42
    Colin says:

    BREAKING NEWS: Socialist tweeter,Owen Jones has decided to leave The Independent due to the demand of tweeting/travel commitments.

  43. 43
    Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:

    Oh dear…..Clodagh Hartley

    Another of Guido’s and leaky H*rry the mol*e c*oles “””sources””” bites the dust.

  44. 44
    Bollocks to getting a pseudonym says:

    Doesn’t this woman (word used in its loosest possible sense) ever STFU?

  45. 45
    Anonymous says:

    that’s funny

  46. 46
    important safety tip says:

    stand still, do not run away

  47. 47
    Anonymong says:

    Check out the correlation between unemployment and the political persuasion of councillors in London…

  48. 48
    The Insurance Firm of Kray & Kray says:

    She prob’ly finks they’re going after those who engage in “Badger Games,” which might be a source of income for many constituents of ‘ers in ‘Ackney. It wuz a mainstay in our repertoire, back inna day:

  49. 49
    Gord save the Queen says:

    We’re fecked to winning the Eurovision Song Contest due to Dave and the Torys with what they have been talking about laterly. And cheers too Farage, you gobshite. Bonnie Tyler has already lost the vote before she has even opened her gob! I despair at this country I live in, I really do – shoot the foot always, over and over and over again, ey Bonnie bach? Good luck all the same Bonnie – you will fucking really need it!

  50. 50
    Gord save the Queen says:

    Bridie Gallagher, who my daughter is related to, on her mother’s side you know,

  51. 51
    The Media says:

    Let’s “big up” Alistair Darling. We know he backed Brown, but eh who cares as long as we can stir the shit.

  52. 52
    Lord Stansted says:


  53. 53
    MSM Bullshit says:

    God! the London meeja village and their bullshit. Who give a crap about Darling or any other re-hash of McRuin’s government?

    He’s a cottish Labourite. England can’t stand him any more than Cock And Balls patnership.

  54. 54
    MSM Bullshit says:

    Scottish even!

  55. 55
    Wind says:

    The total eclipse of my fart.

  56. 56
    Suburbia says:

    BREAKING NEWS: Hard-working commuter, Reginald Mobile-Tweet has decided to leave The Metro on the seat due to completion of the sudoku

  57. 57
    Moussa Koussa Mark 8 says:

    Has Trevor been arrested yet !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  58. 58
    Iron Bru says:

    We’re staying so you’d better get used to it.

  59. 59
    Ed"Slasher" Balls says:

    Owen Jones,socialist tweeter and trainee village idiot tells journalists that UK faces ‘bumping along at the bottom for the next century’ if austerity continues

  60. 60
    Gord save the Queen says:

    while I pine for lovely Derry, on the banks of the Foyle, ta ra rah. What were we talking about again?

  61. 61
    Gord save the Queen says:

    I need a whinger, like I need a rapist… Grow Up! We stuffed this Saturday already because of Brit clowns.

  62. 62
    Another tip says:

    Do not walk head-on towards a cow.

  63. 63
    Gord save the Queen says:


  64. 64
    Gord save the Queen says:

    I give up

  65. 65
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    He turns 30 next year (I know…right?), after which he stops being the Voice of Disaffected British Youth, and officially becomes an Affected-Chavvy-Genteel Champagne Socialist, which he’s well on the way to being now. At that point, he’ll be just another one of those tiresome ranters all of whom I’d let you have for maybe tuppence ha’penny the lot, as long as you cart ‘em off yourself.

    Penny Red, take heed: the same will happen to you.

  66. 66
    The BBC causes serious mental illness says:

    We deny these Astra’s, replacing 1970s blue Cortina estates contain any puppies.

  67. 67
    Gordon says:

    I like to provide a running commentary on a conversation I haven’t had. Or have I? What do you say, Teddy?

  68. 68
    Will says:

    Do any of these people ever go beyond the m25 or past Watford. I really think that most people like Owen really out to get out more because its a fact that we have the highest level of people working than ever over 28 million in the workforce and in some areas we have skill shortages.

  69. 69
    The rest of the population says:

    Maybe he should get a job.

  70. 70
    Bonnie Tyler is a Taffy says:

    Are yews? NURSE, this lad needs serious medication.

  71. 71
    Sir William Waad says:

    All the more reason to cull them, then.

  72. 72
    Love is says:

  73. 73
    Sir William Waad says:

    Carry a shotgun.

  74. 74
    George Osbourne says:

    I’ll tell yer what – if David Cameron gets a job, I’ll get one – okay?

  75. 75
    Will says:

    Here’s a little question for all lefties with a brain cell or two. If this country is in such a poor state how come 1 million poles have managed to come here and find jobs. Also why are people still migrating to Britain if it is so bad ?? Could it be that despite the left bleating the country is not as bad as like to make out. Sensible answers please not polly Toynbee polemics

  76. 76
    George Iain Duncan Shit says:

    hey, wait for me …. if David and George get a job then I’ll get one too

  77. 77
    Colin says:

    Fuck off

  78. 78
    Bonnie Tyler is a Taffy says:

    Join the queue, and the back sonny Jim, at the back.

  79. 79
    Club Of Rome says:

    Pretty much already is – just needs to switch to GMT/BST

  80. 80
    tanzanite says:

    Let’s see – where’s was darling when the economy hit a brick wall?

  81. 81
    Bonnie Tyler is a Taffy says:

    Internal politics by tory bosses to keep the nation’s born proletariat down. Were you born yesterday or something?

  82. 82
    tanzanite says:

    labour getting serious about it’s policy making – they’re going to ban adverts targetted at children under 12 and give paid leave for father’s to attend ante natal classes. That should cure the economy!

  83. 83
    Mongo Murdoch Mong says:

    Oh dear…the net is closing Guido

    Arrest of Clodagh Hartley

    You may have been to the shreader….BUT did Clodagh Hartley do likewise !!!!!

    oh Dear !!!!!

  84. 84
    Seek psychiatric help, urgently says:


    You’re talking to yourself you nutjob, you and the many, many, many, voices, inside your loony head.

  85. 85
    Food Standards Agency (EU) says:

    Do not sell horse as cow, unless meat is destined for UK.

  86. 86
    tanzanite says:

    Whatever chuckusyamoney is doing , it will be for his own benefit.

  87. 87
    Bonnie Tyler is a Taffy says:

    Bonnie has a good chance, all said, she is huge in Scandinavia, Germany(BIG!), Poland and other old Iron Countries – with all that has been going on, she could pull it off. I haven’t checked the odds on Paddy Power in the last few days, which way they are going, up or down, because frankly, if they were going longer, it would be just too depressing.

  88. 88
    Love is says:

  89. 89
    Anonymous says:

    If a farmer has put a large group on young cattle (<1 year) in a field alone without any older animals then run like there is no tomorrow.

    In fact in any field of cattle, if there is no escape closer than a group of animals, you have gone too far. Always have the escape route planned. If however they are older and spaced out eating then just do not get between a mother and the calf.

  90. 90
    Socialist Worker (of the night) says:

    Key difference between Penny and Owen.

    Biological clock will be ticking louder in Penny.

    The sense of loss will be greater for her.

  91. 91
    Steve says:

    Bit late for the party that turned a blind eye, some would say encouraged, the trafficking of 11/12 year old girls for sex, to start worrying about them now.

  92. 92
    Bonnie Tyler is a Taffy says:

    I’ve had my head checked out – clean bill of health, quite remarkable in fact. The “we” was the Royal we, by the way, tosser!

  93. 93
    Plumb loco says:

    Does your supermarket stick produce from afar with labels proclaiming “this fish/meat/veggies” etc has been air flown from somewhere or other?

    I have still to discover alternatives to flying other than by air. Anyone know?

  94. 94
    Uncontrolled immigration + a full welfare for all system = social and fiscal suicide says:

    We have skill shortages because our education system turns out illiterates, our welfare system coddles people into not working and an open door immigration policy, where effectively we are paying millions of people to sit on their backsides, while importing millions of low grade and low skill replacements.

  95. 95
    Plumb loco says:

    or poppies…

  96. 96
    Labour: Treacherous Filth says:

    Didn’t Mandelbum recently admit that policy under Labour was to make it harder for UK workers to get work, whilst encouraging migrants in and furnishing with jobs a plenty ?

    Social engineering to reduce future pension liabilities methinks.

  97. 97
    Plumb loco says:

    Blimey! Who woke you up Mousse?

  98. 98
    Colin says:

    Then clean your pubes out of the bath when you use it.

  99. 99
    Plumb loco says:

    Let’s lock him up instead as he was responsible for much of our financial woes.

  100. 100
    Will says:

    if its tory bosses why did most of them arrive under labour !!.

  101. 101
    Plumb loco says:

    That’s going to be a long wait as the next Century won’t be here for another 87 years yet.

  102. 102
    Curly says:

    .. and WTF do you think will employ you all?

  103. 103
    NE Frontiersman says:

    Bonny Tyler’s manager leads the Tory group on Waltham Forest Council, who emit never a peep on any issue whatever, in a borough that is a whirlpool of sleaze.
    The Council leader, the aptly-named Chris Robbins, who had a brief moment of notoriety as a SOGAT picket thug outside News International back in the day, was recently disciplined by his party, but there’s a complete news blackout on the topic.

  104. 104
    Just another vermin says:

    Darling, the man who changed the designation of his second home FOUR times in four years,so allowing him to claim for the costs of his family home in Edinburgh, and to buy and furnish a flat in London including the cost of stamp duty and other legal fees. He commented that “the claims were made within House of Commons rules”.

    I cannot understand why so many people seem to think him the best thing since sliced bread.

  105. 105
    Universal Hiss says:

    Another case of follow the money.

    He cannot figure out which side the sliced buttered haggis will fall on the dirty carpet.

    Westminster or Edinburgh?

    As he’s a politician his integrity is in no doubt.

  106. 106
    Universal Hiss says:

    Hiding in Morningside.

  107. 107
    Universal Hiss says:

    That’s London fucked then.

  108. 108
    Sheikh Bashar Banka says:

    The sooner Mr Minibrand stands aside for Mr Darling the better .

    Mr Darling might have his limitations but he is a safe pair of hands who does not go AWOL in a crisis.

    Well done Guido for shining a light in his direction.

  109. 109
    Zeitgeist today in Strawberry Hill says:

    More to the point what did he have at this pro-EU lunch: succulent, costly German sausage/Champagne *(AOC from Reims of course)/ foie gras/ brussel sprouts, belgian chocolates and waffles???

  110. 110
    Zeitgeist today in Strawberry Hill says:

    Pity. You obviously are too hard-working not have time to suck off the Indy.

  111. 111
    NE Frontiersman says:

    Former IMG member, presided over tram fiascos nationwide, serial flipper – and STILL the best of that ghastly bunch. He admitted that Labour would have had to cut just as much as the Tories, which at least locates him on Planet Earth. You’ve got to have some sympathy for someone who was trying to run an economy with Broon in the driving seat.

  112. 112
    Socialism is evil says:

    Is there anything that can be done about this stupid Abbott woman?

  113. 113
    Socialism is evil says:

    She is Welsh – poor girl, that should be enough of cross to carry

  114. 114
    Return of Chucky says:

    Chucka will be sucking a lot of dicks in Lagos. Literally. His last boyfriend was Nigerian and Chucky got his knees very dirty…

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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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