April 23rd, 2013

Imagine If Bryant Were Still a Tory

Chris Bryant caused a stir on Newsnight last night with a clumsy comment on immigration. Perhaps he was harking back to his days as a member of the Oxford University Conservative Association:

“It would be nice sometimes when you go into a British hotel if the receptionist was British.”

One might have thought Bryant would choose his words more carefully given the vigour with which he jumps on “offensive” comments from his opponents, such as  “pantomime dames”. Imagine the enormous hoo-haa Labour would be kicking up right now if Bryant were still a Tory…

Vid via @liarpoliticians


  1. 1

    It’s all pants with him.

  2. 2
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Never mind Bryant, imagine if David Cameron were still a Tory.

  3. 3
    Sexual Volcano says:

    let him in to the forest for a sexual volcano

  4. 4
    paddybriggs says:

    Blimey if everything I’d said as a student was held against me 40 years on…!

  5. 5
    Anonymous says:

    By receptionist does he mean wide receiver?

  6. 6
    Keith Dovkunts says:

    Would anyone happen to have a picture of this knob-head in his shreddies? I haven’t had by “Bryant looks a cu*t” fix for a few days . . .

  7. 7
    Peter Grimes says:

    In their unguarded moments, away from the Gaydar webcams, these ZaNuLieBor fuckwits reveal their true feelings, the feelings they hide to get themselves elected by their client hordes.

  8. 8
    Defen Strate says:

    It not what you said that we hold against you, it’s the fact you were a student.

  9. 9
    Peter Grimes says:

    But he isn’t a student, is he.

  10. 10
    Only mad dogs and foreigners get up before the midday sun says:

    I thank Labour for bringing back that old colonial experience where white people can arse around or take early retirement while foreign people have to work.
    Instead of picking veg in the fields,my daughter is at Rustthorpe University studying her navel and my son, the great piss artist and thinker, thought about getting a job but decided fuck it.
    Myself I retired at 50 on full pension after 15 years working for the council.
    None of this would be possible without an influx of migrant workers.

  11. 11

    Oh! Was he a Tory then? When was that?

  12. 12
    Call me Dave says:

    How very dare you.

  13. 13
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    Bryant is a liar and a prat.

  14. 14
    Joke of the Day says:

    What do you call a Gay who is not an airline steward?

    An MP

  15. 15
    Diane Fatbutt says:


  16. 16
    ATOS says:


  17. 17
    HenryV says:

    If only MPS were bananas then the EU could rule on how straight or not an MP should be…..

  18. 18
    Chris Bryant says:

    Assless chaps if you please

  19. 19

    Proof, if ever any were needed, that Labour people are congenitally stupid. A Labour councillor said the Government is wasting money tackling female genital mutilation because it is “yesterday’s” problem.

    She was born in Somalia and underwent FGM herself:


  20. 20
    stocktonmac says:

    The smoke and mirrors of the left wing socialists has slipped, glenda jackson is the real pin up of the left and my I say, what a doll she is.

  21. 21
    Tessa Tickles says:

    It would be even nicer if you went into the HoC and discovered that a faulty boiler had filled the building with carbon monoxide and asphyxiated all the MPs.

    Obviously, you would have to be wearing breathing apparatus when entering the building, which would be a bit odd, but you get the gist.

  22. 22
    Anonymous says:

    Get more annoyed by the number of Eastern Europeans working in cafes, not annoyed annoyed, but asking if you want milk for your tea is not something I expect to be asked in this country.

  23. 23
    nellnewman says:

    I think we all know that folks llike bryant shouldn’t be allowed to be an mp .

    The trouble is the 600+ we have of them already are all like him.

  24. 24
    Mr Pink says:

    Surley you mean cock.

  25. 25
    Bazinga! says:

    A BBC presenter

  26. 26
    Simon Hughes (The straight choice) says:

    I’ll see you on Bareback mountain.

  27. 27
    Bazinga! says:

    I see the lefty bitch who arranged the Maggie death parties is now whinging on the BBC that people are being nasty to her.

    Live by the sword, die by the sword.

  28. 28
    Yeah, right... says:

    You mean higher rate taxpayers.

  29. 29
    Hypocrisy of the Left says:

    You couldn’t make it up.

  30. 30
    Panem.et.circenses says:

    As most inmates already enter wearing such paraphernalia as butt plugs, I imagine breathing apparatus is perfectly acceptable attire around such esteemed pervs and nonces

  31. 31
    David Milliband says:


  32. 32
    Bryant and (Queen of the) May says:

    I’m sorry, I meant to say “It would be nice sometimes when you go into a British hotel if the receptionist was BRUTISH.” and, incidentally, well hung and interested!

  33. 33
    Smell the glove says:

    He said it last night. He was a Tory 40 years ago.Do pay attention, I shall be asking questions later.

  34. 34
    Seize the Jock's money for the EU says:

    What if Jockland was independent and the EU saved its banks rather than England?

  35. 35
    Maqboul says:

    He said this recently. Like Balls, he was a conservative as a student until he opportunistically jumped ship.

  36. 36
    V1le, vicious Labour ruined my Country says:

    He can say what he likes with impunity as he’s an uphill gardener.

  37. 37
    Bluto says:

    Bryant is rather specially repulsive in a line up of the Labour repulsive. His eyes and demeanour reveal him to be a quite barking opportunist with some terrifyingly fascist viewpoints. In another country in another time he would have been strutting around in a black uniform.

    National socialists all of them. Do not forget it.

  38. 38
    Tessa Tickles says:

    She underwent FGM? That’s an interesting fact. Does she have it on her CV? Or on her passport (the bit that says “Any distinguishing features? – Yes, my lady bits have been hacked off.”)?

    Maybe she uses it to break the ice at parties. “Hi, my name’s Rakhia, this is a nice party, isn’t it? Is any of your genitalia missing like bits of mine are?”

  39. 39
    Doris Goldblatt says:

    St George’s Day – a meaningless, fake tradition invented in the 1990s to sell beer http://tgr.ph/11y9mn8

  40. 40
    Ghost of Marx (Groucho) says:

    Or indeed a stud. Those pants…… shudder!

  41. 41
    Ben Bradshaw says:

    I’ll see your Bareback mountain and raise you a chocolate starfish.

  42. 42
    Knob says:

    With 1 million unemployed young people in this country I think it would be more than just nice to have British working in hotels but fucking essential Chris.

  43. 43
    Shailesh Vara MP Supporters Club says:

    Civil servants used to call him “Shakey Byrne”.

    He’s probably Labour’s most honest MP, he tells it like it is, for example he’s pointed out that there are loads of shirking lead swingers on benefits when nobody else in Labour dares to admit it.

  44. 44
    Planned destruction of a country says:

    Wasn’t this cove Bryant a member of a government who decided, when in power, to ‘rub their noses in it’? It appears he never learned about cause and effect, during his education.

  45. 45
    How could a man of the cloth go so wrong? says:

    Ex vicar advertises for homosexual sex on the internet in his y fronts.

  46. 46
    Ghost of Marx (Groucho) says:

    Thank you “Only Mad Dogs…..” – Great post – thank the sky fairies that satire is not dead – just dead right!

  47. 47
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Damn, that’s my fantasy truly trashed.

    (Comment 21 was in response to another post which disappeared, by the way. The modbot’s obviously lurking.)

  48. 48
    William says:

    Surley you mean surely?

  49. 49
    William says:

    …or maybe even Shirley?

  50. 50
    Sarah Brown says:

    My c*nt often goes missing from Parliament.

  51. 51
    Rip Van winkle says:

    Since when was last night 40 years ago?

  52. 52
    Mister Mango says:

    I didn’t know he used to be Tory. Just like Ed Balls too.

  53. 53
    HenryV says:

    Pin up? Nailed up to a tree would be better.

  54. 54
    Ghost of Marx (Groucho) says:

    But would you call Lewis Hamilton a racist, Diane?

  55. 55
    Tosspot says:

    My elderly Mother has carers, imagine how much improved her quality of life would be, if she had people looking after her who speak a form of English she would understand, who had some understanding of English Culture, English Foods, in fact her very way of life, Imagine we had a Government who cared about People ….. Imagine…..

  56. 56
    Red Egg Millitit..... says:

    Pants off for the lads ?

    Second thoughts keep ‘em on !!

  57. 57
    Tup says:

    Chris Bryant is PANTS.

  58. 58
    Anonymous says:

    Why the big deal about it being “clumsy”? I know Labour and the Tories want to censor our very thoughts let alone our speech but surely Guido can’t be getting his knickers in a twist over this?

    I remember a time, not too long ago, when you’d be able to turn round and say, “It’s a free country, he can say what he likes!” . Not any more.

  59. 59
    Chris Bryant says:

    I’m trying to, honestly

  60. 60
    Dame Edwina Miliband says:

    Who said that only women can multi-task?

  61. 61
    Diane Abbotapotamus says:


  62. 62
    Y did he do it? says:

  63. 63
    William says:

    Comment of the year, so far.

  64. 64
    Tessa Tickles says:

    My original comment ended “(if he ever was one)” but I thought for a moment and then edited it. Deleting those words caused a small delay and thus allowed you to get the coveted #1 slot.

    He might have been a Conservative once upon a time, but his admiration for Tony Blair filled his head with airy-fairy happy-clappy claptrap, forcing the Conservativeness out of it, leaving us with the trainwreck of a PM we see today.

  65. 65
    The British Public says:

    I think he is correct. It would be nice.

    What is he going to do to bring it about? When will Labour sling out the couple of million illegal immigrants they let into the UK?

  66. 66
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    He will never be able to father children after wearing such tight underpants. By now he will be infertile. :)

  67. 67
    Romany Blythe says:

    Oi- if you’re terriblist to me it’ll lower me self esteem and I’ll
    be entitled to annuvver boob job on the NHS.
    It’s my right innit.

  68. 68
    Anonymous says:

    He’d be still a gayboy – sorry – from Rhondda,

  69. 69
    The Eagle Sisters says:

    Welcome to the hotel homophobia,
    such a lovely place,
    bryant’s silly face.

  70. 70
    Two Jags one shag and a fag says:

    You put your socks on your feet not in your pants Chris.

  71. 71
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Our MPs, of all parties, seem to regard 1984 as an instruction manual rather than a warning. The £2billion p/a Internet/Phone Snoopers’ System that Theresa May’s Thought Police are hoping to introduce being a case in point, even if it won’t actually work.

    Still, we’re completely free to say anything which the government of the day would like us to say.

  72. 72
    fancy pants says:

    Did Byrant also like dressing up in a Nazi uniform????

  73. 73
    (I don't need no doctor) says:


  74. 74
    Gordon Brown's Expense Sheet says:

    I’ll cut some bits off it that don’t matter, if you like Sarah – like it’s head.

  75. 75
    Leveson law says:

    You will only read what the State Press Censorship Body allows.
    Any views which alter from the official approved line will be banned.

  76. 76
    Anonymous says:

    Polska, as met in this hotel, shaken not stirred,

    OR O-O, giddy aunt!!

  77. 77
    Nick says:

    Dorothy, surely?

  78. 78
    Anonymous says:

    oh Mr Scaramanga, that be a fine ’49 Chablis – a fine selection, from your cellar

  79. 79
    Mike Hunt says:

    Thank goodness I was never a Student.

  80. 80
    Anonymous says:

    pot the brown when the red is snookering the pink is lost on some.

  81. 81
    the stench of hypocrisy says:

    You don’t have to scratch very far beneath the surface of
    a Labour politician to find an unreconstructed hypocrite.

  82. 82
    yuk says:

    Do you mind.
    You’ve put me off my lunch.

  83. 83
    Keep Our Press Free says:

    Coogan isn’t funny and supports Hacked Off.

  84. 84
    Anonymous says:

    agreed, he’s a bit of a tool, isn’t he?

  85. 85
    Anonymous says:

    Come on Chris. Who’s the bloke in the shower cubicle? Obviously it must be embarrassing for him too else you wouldn’t have bothered to fetch your camera.

  86. 86
    Bob Diamond Standard says:

    Be nice to have Briots working in hotels, coffee shops, railway stations, farms, packing plants etc etc

  87. 87
    village Idiot says:

    Would Dave Cameron,make a good labour leader???……..It would require his
    clique to follow him,then,proper conservatives could rebuild the party,but,till then
    it is UKIP…

  88. 88
    Does Bryant's Goat See? says:

    Coogan Sucks and is condesending twat…He’s got a couple of movies coming up, here’s hoping they flop.

  89. 89
    Bluto says:

    The guy that wrote that article is a Grade A idiot.

    In 1415, St George’s Day was declared a national feast day and holiday in England. The traditional celebrations diminished in popularity after the Union with Scotland in 1707. The traditional wearing of the red rose was hi-jacked more recently by the Labour party.

    So, the Scots and Labour impacting English identity again…

  90. 90
    British Jobs for British people says:

    I just got back from Costa Coffee. Did a Brit serve me? I’ll let you figure that one out (weep)

  91. 91
    Anonymous says:

    I visited a family member regularly a few years back in a care home. The amount of foreigners who can’t speak a word of the Queens is outrageous.

  92. 92
    Hugh Jend says:

    If he did have kids, would they be gay ers?

  93. 93
    Booby Trappist says:

    Is it? So your left is is big enough already, is it?

  94. 94
    Booby Trappist says:

    Nice idea, but the problem is that less than one percent of would be hotel Receptionists speak any foreign language – which might make it a bit difficult for the tourists from overseas.

  95. 95
    Cameron's caplin says:

    Champagne socialist, wet tory, limp dumb, sweet FA to choose between them.

  96. 96
    They hate her because she won says:

    Have you met one of the young Brits working in the service industry in this country? The product of our society and education system, they are completely incapable of being civil, polite or effective. I met one in a hotel recently. His opening line. “Yes mate.”

  97. 97
    They hate her because she won says:

    So what. He is an ex vicar. I am an ex judge. I advertise on the internet all the time. What I wear is my business.

  98. 98
  99. 99
    Sunil Prasannan says:

    London Westminster seats: Correlation between White British % Census 2011 and Labour % GE 2010?https://twitter.com/Sunil_P2/status/326658870867013633

  100. 100
    the requirement is to send home the ones already here says:

    Be fair, he dealt with that point on Newsnight.

    Smirking with contemptuous amusement he ‘apologised’ for the NuLab Government’s ‘mistake’ concerning how many East Europeans would be coming here.

    Before making it clear that NuLab will be letting lots more in if it gets the chance.

  101. 101
    Anonymous says:


  102. 102
    Herman Van Aerial Disease says:

    What a horrible little prick… chris bryant is a complete knob too..

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