Carina’s Car Trouble
A parking ticket on her first visit to HMP Wandsworth. And no one to swap it with…
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Ed Balls stretches credulity by claiming he isn’t ambitious…
“I would love to be part of Ed’s Labour government but what I do next for me is not an all-consuming passion. I’m more bothered, in a personal sense, about getting to grade 8 piano by the time I’m 50.”
Bill Quango MP says:
Ned Flanders – Clegg
Lisa Simpson – Natalie Bennett
Milhouse – Hilary Benn
Martin Prince – Andy Burnham
Edna Krabappel – Luciana Berger
Crazy Cat Lady – Glenda jackson
Comic book guy – John Prescott
Carl – Chucka
Lenny – Philip Hammond
Willie – Eric joyce
Poochie – Gordon Brown
Reverend Lovejoy – Tony Blair
Gotcher lady.
Erm, gotcha… sir?
Maybe Vicky will take the ticket…
Karma?
Gotcha
David Lammy, the once high-rising Labour MP, dropped a resounding clanger on Twitter when he saw that a BBC journalist had tweeted from Rome: “Will smoke be black or white?”
Showing a gap in his knowledge of European history, he responded angrily: “This tweet from the BBC is crass and unnecessary. Do we really need silly innuendo about the race of the next Pope?”
http://blogs.independent.co.uk/2013/03/13/33288/
That reminds me – will the lefty elite not be demanding that the fragrant Vicky be sent for diversity re-education after her “deeply offensive to the LGBT communities” description of the bull dyke in question as a “fucking man”? Isn’t that the sort of thing in brave new multicultural Britain one gets sent to jail (again) for? Or does being friends with Yasmin Alibabyabaha Brown count as a get out of jail free card when it comes to upsetting the noisy, stroppy lefties and feminist hags on twatter?
Vicky is part of the elite, well connected and also a woman and a European so she has overcome the tremendous institutional racism and sexism inherent in Britain (at least until the enrichment is complete) to become a household name and successful economist. Upon her release she will secure a great deal of income working on our programming.
Yes, I will phone the police to report her thought crime. We will not tolerate intolerance in our new multicultural paradise.
The attorney general may be appealing the sentences on the grounds that they are a bit lenient.
The sentences could be extended.
Where did you hear that?
Oh I see. Some spiteful and publicity-seeking MP (is there any other sort?) has asked the A-G to refer the sentences to the Court of Appeal. No chance.
The good carpet munchers of Holloway will teach Vicky how to correctly address women of Sapphic persuasions.
Ooh ooh I know, the true writers of Navratilova’s Guide to Drinking from the Furry Cup. :-p Lucky Vicky.
There should be a munching tax.
Hi Owen, you’re such a well-respected heavyweight figure in the serious world of political commentary – would you like to come on Question Time and the Daily Politics this week and rant about evil Tories?
If they don’t change Cameron soon, it will not be evil Tories, more toothless Tories.
Errr I think you’ll find David Cameron is a far-right wing Tory, he is planning to take us out the wonderful modern EU, he is only allowing immigration of 500,000 per year (this is institutionally racist, we need at least 1 million), he has privatised the NHS – of course I use private but I’m told that for the working class I like to think I care about they now have to pay £100 everytime they see a GP.
In short, David Cameron is a white male who has not detoxified his brand. He even supports the death penalty.
the man lady is closer to her papa.
sa re ga ma pa na dhi
are the 7 musical notes.
.
pa is number 5.
like mi5, she appears to be deply lowal.
Lady?
I was told by a solicitor that you should never park near a prison, as they are prime areas for car thieves. He kept a specially old and battered car just for visiting his clientd.
Ah, that’s just because being seen in a legal-aid subsidised Porsche might be seen as bad form – though obviously that would only apply to solicitors who know what bad form is, i.e. not very many.
Have you heard about the lawyer’s dilemma? A lawyer offers a little old lady some brief advice, for which he charges £50. Unbeknownst to the little old lady, she pays with two fifty pound notes that are stuck together. The lawyer’s dilemma is, does he share the extra £50 with the partners in his firm…
“A lawyer offers a little old lady some brief advice, for which he charges £50.”
Now that is an old joke.
solicits a man who is a solicit.are.
plastitude……who is thy humpthepump imp.
Odd sort of job, of course, springing cutthroats, thieved and r*pists so that they can re-offend.
govt solicits.
criminals solicits.
even royal.
i solicit ur attention u solicit mine.
it is a trade.
the purpose is no more than to attain.
but 2 attain one needs to enter.
and that is enter.a.tainment.
worldclass drama.
Here we go silly bollocks is in again.
There are only two professions that have ‘clients’ while all the others have ‘customers’. The first is ‘ladies of the night’ – the second is, er… um..
Car Thieves? Is that a synonym for Traffic Warden?
Only in Liverpool
Shame!
I don’t remember shame
I’m here.
”All are punish’d”
It is quite impressive how quickly the prison can organise visiting rights for ex MPs’ girlfriends.
No problemo baby.
Is that a Toyota Carina?
No. It’s a Ford Fockus.
No it’s a Rover Rug-Muncher
Wow. Guido is sinking low if he know has to take stories directly from the ‘dead tree press’ as well as their money.
I think it is one of the past tenses you are looking for.
Normal For Norfolk.
“Entrepreneurs are simply those who understand that there is little difference between obstacle and opportunity and are able to turn both to their advantage.”
I know a new version of the Jungle with the Cheeky Girls and Huhne, and Clegg and maybe even Cameron & Miliband, who will woo one of the girls?
What do you know now?
“Information is not knowledge.”
virtue is in submission.
so who is outside?
get close to the grawnd.
gweedo seeeees.
use the right eye and look at the sun 4 60 seconds.
thru the slit in the cupped hand.
it s a most beautiful tini zero.
http://t.co/z5JpHJ2tyY
Disgraced former Minister Chris Huhne has been caught breaking the traffic laws yet again, by driving the wrong way up a one-way street.
Pictured in his Toyota Prius, he edged out of a narrow side road and, risking yet another three points on his licence, turned right instead of left.
Even allowing for Huhne’s famed hubris, the timing of his latest transgression, revealed for the first time today, is remarkable.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2290830/Chris-Huhne-drives-trouble-Four-weeks-trial-hes-caught-going-wrong-way-way-street.html#ixzz2NRQedCmt
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook
She wasn’t dr!ving it, someone else was.
That’s her story, and she’s going to stick to it, until it unravels eight years from now.
It was me
Just charge it all to expenses then shred the paperwork. The peasants will never find out.
Stop hounding these people. Move on.
“Lies run sprints, but the truth runs marathons.”
+1
Does anyone know what has happened to Huhne’s car? It may rack up quite a penalty if he has left it in a parking bay for 8 months…
the infamous car
is a slut.
sluts are cheap and expensive.
whether they r penalised has to b pointed.
Jeez, you two are starting to look like you enjoy other peoples misery. Not a pleasant trait. It’s over now, move on to the next one.
It’s wonderful. That fucking prat Huhne & all who sail in him cost me at least 10% on my electric bill every quarter going on & on……..
My beautiful countryside is blighted by fucking useless windmills.
I’m delighted he is where he is.He needs to be joined by a couple of thousands of the fucking global warming thieves.
Actually both my shares and son in the energy sector’s pay rise is costing you 20% on your bills!
I have just had the most devilish idea about the sentencing of Huhne and Pryce which could satisfy at once the clamour of those, like me, who felt he should have been given longer, to the others who felt he should not have gone to prison at all.
They should have been sentenced to live with each other 24/7 for eight months.
Now how about that for lateral thinking?
Sorry cat. It’s been said by many others ad nauseam.
You need to stay in more.
Quite right! I was driving all day yesterday.
*puts thinking cap on again with refilled glass for inspiration*
Perhaps they should be put in adjacent cells with a 5 feet gap between them. Then they can argue and spat day and night but cannot do any physical harm (coercion?) to each other.
“I believe that the sentence of eight months imprisonment is too short and does not fully reflect the seriousness of the offence and the need for it to be exemplary and provide deterrence.”
[letter to ag, david burrowes mp, chairman, conservative christian fellowship]
“For I was an hungred, and ye directed me to the food bank: I was thirsty, and ye gave me 20p for a can of lager: I was a stranger, and ye deported me:
Naked, and ye photographed me: I was sick, and ye closed my local hospital: I was in prison, and ye wrote to the Attorney General to have my sentence increased.”
[Book of Montgomerie: KJV with Additional Material by Rt. Hon. Michael Gove MP]
Quite right Jimmy. Burrowes should repent.
When he got to Wandsworth, apparently he asked for en-suite facilities. And got them!
The arrogance of these Liberals towards RTA legislation is beyond contempt !
Wasn’t in someone else’s designated parking space
Booked in advance.
I wasn’t aware that the JSA could stretch that far but it has been a long time in exsilium since my last excursion in defrauding the tax payer in mirror reflection of our political betters was successfully rumbled.
I’d like to shake the hand of the prison warden who announced on the tannoy “Order order! Would the honourable member for Wandsworth North go and collect his breakfast”.
He’ll need your support – the humourless PC brigade will get him sacked.
I will. They are too Labour in there.
Where’s the Jane Pilgrim angle?
Don’t be so obtuse…
Habemus papem.
Habet unum, sed sufficit.
Habet duos, et bene pendentes.
Habet tres, mirabile dictu.
London traffic report 100AD:
Falsus in uno, falsus in omnibus.
Is that a papal fiat?
Habemus papadum.
Carina? Cars? Toyota used to have an old thing called a Carina – looked like a prototype Mondeo disguised for road-testing.
No, I’m not terribly interested either……
Are you Eeyore the GOM?
Manchester City footballer Carlos Tevez has been charged with driving while disqualified and driving without insurance…
Prison?
He’ll doubtless take the penalty!
He might be cocky but he might just have a point about criminal activity which has gone unpunished.
oh, the morbidly obese, silly sausage !!
that’s a rather fishy slit mouth myman.
creative he is to to a high level. it is all in the hairline.
the number that when it looks at itself becomes an 8.
E3.
clever the designer.
the english are godli.
That reminds me – I must order a pizza.
can’t quite confirm whether she has just kicked the bucket or is about to shuffle off permanently…
Permanently mired by those on the left. Permanently loved by those who got on and managed to buy their own house for the first time in their humble origins. Quite quite British I’d say. One would guess you have Russian sympathies.
No, his parents were too stupid or feckless to take advantage of the 80s.
It’s confirmed. The new peado protector, I mean pope, has been elected.
Black smoke still polluting the skyline of Rome .
If you did this at home you would be prosecuted under the Clean Air Act.
Sad but true.
Why does a he/she think they are above the law?
Experience.
Now that Chris has gone away, I need your help and assistance; I cannot afford to pay this parking ticket as I have blown all my savings on batteries.
And earthquakes are to a girl’s guitar
They’re just another good vibration.
So the female Herman Munster impersonator (Herman Munter) is getting motoring offence tickets too.. it just gets better doesn’t it?..
Are we sure the horse was visiting Huhne ?
Isn’t there a Woman’s wing at Wandsworth ?
All it needs is Dennis McShane to start shagging Carina while Huhne and Pryce are banged up to complete this unvirtuous circle.