March 13th, 2013

Carina’s Car Trouble


  1. 1

    Gotcher lady.


    • 5

      Erm, gotcha… sir?


      • 13
        Lord Mandelbum of Fondleboys says:

        Maybe Vicky will take the ticket…


      • 20
        rocknrolla says:

        That reminds me – will the lefty elite not be demanding that the fragrant Vicky be sent for diversity re-education after her “deeply offensive to the LGBT communities” description of the bull dyke in question as a “fucking man”? Isn’t that the sort of thing in brave new multicultural Britain one gets sent to jail (again) for? Or does being friends with Yasmin Alibabyabaha Brown count as a get out of jail free card when it comes to upsetting the noisy, stroppy lefties and feminist hags on twatter?


        • 29
          BBC says:

          Vicky is part of the elite, well connected and also a woman and a European so she has overcome the tremendous institutional racism and sexism inherent in Britain (at least until the enrichment is complete) to become a household name and successful economist. Upon her release she will secure a great deal of income working on our programming.


          • bedwetting Guardian reader says:

            Yes, I will phone the police to report her thought crime. We will not tolerate intolerance in our new multicultural paradise.


        • 38
          Legal Eagle says:

          The attorney general may be appealing the sentences on the grounds that they are a bit lenient.

          The sentences could be extended.


        • 67
          Big Debs says:

          The good carpet munchers of Holloway will teach Vicky how to correctly address women of Sapphic persuasions.


          • Zeitgeist in Strawberry Hill (and 1st class passenger!) says:

            Ooh ooh I know, the true writers of Navratilova’s Guide to Drinking from the Furry Cup. :-p Lucky Vicky.


          • Labour Party womb subsisers says:

            There should be a munching tax.


    • 25
      BBC says:

      Hi Owen, you’re such a well-respected heavyweight figure in the serious world of political commentary – would you like to come on Question Time and the Daily Politics this week and rant about evil Tories?


      • 40
        Casual Observer says:

        If they don’t change Cameron soon, it will not be evil Tories, more toothless Tories.


        • 61
          bedwetting Guardian reader says:

          Errr I think you’ll find David Cameron is a far-right wing Tory, he is planning to take us out the wonderful modern EU, he is only allowing immigration of 500,000 per year (this is institutionally racist, we need at least 1 million), he has privatised the NHS – of course I use private but I’m told that for the working class I like to think I care about they now have to pay £100 everytime they see a GP.

          In short, David Cameron is a white male who has not detoxified his brand. He even supports the death penalty.


    • 33
      Anonymous says:

      the man lady is closer to her papa.
      sa re ga ma pa na dhi
      are the 7 musical notes.
      pa is number 5.
      like mi5, she appears to be deply lowal.


    • 79
      Parasite says:



  2. 2
    Sir William Wade says:

    I was told by a solicitor that you should never park near a prison, as they are prime areas for car thieves. He kept a specially old and battered car just for visiting his clientd.


    • 16
      Lord Mandelbum of Fondleboys says:

      Ah, that’s just because being seen in a legal-aid subsidised Porsche might be seen as bad form – though obviously that would only apply to solicitors who know what bad form is, i.e. not very many.

      Have you heard about the lawyer’s dilemma? A lawyer offers a little old lady some brief advice, for which he charges £50. Unbeknownst to the little old lady, she pays with two fifty pound notes that are stuck together. The lawyer’s dilemma is, does he share the extra £50 with the partners in his firm…


      • 23
        Jimmy says:

        “A lawyer offers a little old lady some brief advice, for which he charges £50.”

        Now that is an old joke.


      • 36
        Anonymous says:

        solicits a man who is a solicit.are.
        plastitude……who is thy humpthepump imp.


        • 47
          Sir William Wade says:

          Odd sort of job, of course, springing cutthroats, thieved and r*pists so that they can re-offend.


          • Anonymous says:

            govt solicits.
            criminals solicits.
            even royal.

            i solicit ur attention u solicit mine.
            it is a trade.

            the purpose is no more than to attain.
            but 2 attain one needs to enter.
            and that is enter.a.tainment.
            worldclass drama.


          • Labour stinks says:

            Here we go silly bollocks is in again.


          • The oldest cardinal says:

            There are only two professions that have ‘clients’ while all the others have ‘customers’. The first is ‘ladies of the night’ – the second is, er… um..


    • 94
      Gerry Mandering says:

      Car Thieves? Is that a synonym for Traffic Warden?


  3. 3
    Viv says:



  4. 4
    The Merchant Of Verona says:

    ”All are punish’d”


  5. 6
    Sunset after six says:

    It is quite impressive how quickly the prison can organise visiting rights for ex MPs’ girlfriends.


  6. 7
    Anonymous says:

    Wow. Guido is sinking low if he know has to take stories directly from the ‘dead tree press’ as well as their money.


    • 9
      A Linguist says:

      I think it is one of the past tenses you are looking for.


    • 11
      The Merchant Of Verona says:

      “Entrepreneurs are simply those who understand that there is little difference between obstacle and opportunity and are able to turn both to their advantage.”


      • 81
        Zeitgeist in Strawberry Hill (and 1st class passenger!) says:

        I know a new version of the Jungle with the Cheeky Girls and Huhne, and Clegg and maybe even Cameron & Miliband, who will woo one of the girls?


    • 21
      Spank Sinatra says:

      What do you know now?


    • 39
      Anonymous says:

      get close to the grawnd.
      gweedo seeeees.
      use the right eye and look at the sun 4 60 seconds.
      thru the slit in the cupped hand.

      it s a most beautiful tini zero.


  7. 10
    Kebab Time says:

    Disgraced former Minister Chris Huhne has been caught breaking the traffic laws yet again, by driving the wrong way up a one-way street.

    Pictured in his Toyota Prius, he edged out of a narrow side road and, risking yet another three points on his licence, turned right instead of left.

    Even allowing for Huhne’s famed hubris, the timing of his latest transgression, revealed for the first time today, is remarkable.

    Read more:
    Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook


  8. 15
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    She wasn’t dr!ving it, someone else was.
    That’s her story, and she’s going to stick to it, until it unravels eight years from now.


  9. 22
    MacGuffin says:

    Stop hounding these people. Move on.


  10. 26

    Does anyone know what has happened to Huhne’s car? It may rack up quite a penalty if he has left it in a parking bay for 8 months…


    • 53
      Anonymous says:

      the infamous car
      is a slut.
      sluts are cheap and expensive.
      whether they r penalised has to b pointed.


  11. 27
    Anonymous says:

    Jeez, you two are starting to look like you enjoy other peoples misery. Not a pleasant trait. It’s over now, move on to the next one.


    • 59
      Universal Hiss says:

      It’s wonderful. That fucking prat Huhne & all who sail in him cost me at least 10% on my electric bill every quarter going on & on……..

      My beautiful countryside is blighted by fucking useless windmills.

      I’m delighted he is where he is.He needs to be joined by a couple of thousands of the fucking global warming thieves.


      • 82
        Zeitgeist in Strawberry Hill (and 1st class passenger!) says:

        Actually both my shares and son in the energy sector’s pay rise is costing you 20% on your bills!


  12. 30

    I have just had the most devilish idea about the sentencing of Huhne and Pryce which could satisfy at once the clamour of those, like me, who felt he should have been given longer, to the others who felt he should not have gone to prison at all.

    They should have been sentenced to live with each other 24/7 for eight months.

    Now how about that for lateral thinking?


    • 65
      Universal Hiss says:

      Sorry cat. It’s been said by many others ad nauseam.

      You need to stay in more.


    • 98
      The oldest cardinal says:

      Perhaps they should be put in adjacent cells with a 5 feet gap between them. Then they can argue and spat day and night but cannot do any physical harm (coercion?) to each other.


  13. 34
    Jimmy's Rightie Quote Of The Day says:

    “I believe that the sentence of eight months imprisonment is too short and does not fully reflect the seriousness of the offence and the need for it to be exemplary and provide deterrence.”

    [letter to ag, david burrowes mp, chairman, conservative christian fellowship]


    • 44
      Jimmy's Thought for the Day says:

      “For I was an hungred, and ye directed me to the food bank: I was thirsty, and ye gave me 20p for a can of lager: I was a stranger, and ye deported me:

      Naked, and ye photographed me: I was sick, and ye closed my local hospital: I was in prison, and ye wrote to the Attorney General to have my sentence increased.”

      [Book of Montgomerie: KJV with Additional Material by Rt. Hon. Michael Gove MP]


    • 78
      Sir William Wade says:

      Quite right Jimmy. Burrowes should repent.


  14. 35
    Fishy says:

    When he got to Wandsworth, apparently he asked for en-suite facilities. And got them!


  15. 37
    2000 perverters of justice awaiting jail says:

    The arrogance of these Liberals towards RTA legislation is beyond contempt !


  16. 42
    Mr pontius pilate says:

    Wasn’t in someone else’s designated parking space


  17. 43
    The Merchant Of Verona says:

    I wasn’t aware that the JSA could stretch that far but it has been a long time in exsilium since my last excursion in defrauding the tax payer in mirror reflection of our political betters was successfully rumbled.


  18. 46
    Ha ha! says:

    I’d like to shake the hand of the prison warden who announced on the tannoy “Order order! Would the honourable member for Wandsworth North go and collect his breakfast”. :-D


  19. 48
    A casual observer says:

    Where’s the Jane Pilgrim angle?


  20. 49
    A Cardinal says:

    Habemus papem.


  21. 50
    Eeyore says:

    Carina? Cars? Toyota used to have an old thing called a Carina – looked like a prototype Mondeo disguised for road-testing.

    No, I’m not terribly interested either……


  22. 54
    A casual observer says:

    Manchester City footballer Carlos Tevez has been charged with driving while disqualified and driving without insurance…



  23. 55
    Why is this cock still in the house? says:


    • 64
      A licence point dodger says:

      He might be cocky but he might just have a point about criminal activity which has gone unpunished.


    • 68
      Red Egg Millitit... National Socialist says:

      oh, the morbidly obese, silly sausage !!


    • 75
      Anonymous says:

      that’s a rather fishy slit mouth myman.
      creative he is to to a high level. it is all in the hairline.
      the number that when it looks at itself becomes an 8.
      clever the designer.
      the english are godli.


    • 87
      Huhne's Energy bill says:

      That reminds me – I must order a pizza.


  24. 58
    thatcher - rest in faeces says:

    can’t quite confirm whether she has just kicked the bucket or is about to shuffle off permanently…


    • 84
      hold them to ac says:

      Permanently mired by those on the left. Permanently loved by those who got on and managed to buy their own house for the first time in their humble origins. Quite quite British I’d say. One would guess you have Russian sympathies.


  25. 59
    White smoke says:

    It’s confirmed. The new peado protector, I mean pope, has been elected.


    • 69
      A licence point dodger says:

      Black smoke still polluting the skyline of Rome .

      If you did this at home you would be prosecuted under the Clean Air Act.

      Sad but true.


  26. 63
    Red Egg Millitit... National Socialist says:

    Why does a he/she think they are above the law?


  27. 76
    Carina says:

    Now that Chris has gone away, I need your help and assistance; I cannot afford to pay this parking ticket as I have blown all my savings on batteries.


  28. 90
    Royal British Legion dominoes club says:

    So the female Herman Munster impersonator (Herman Munter) is getting motoring offence tickets too.. it just gets better doesn’t it?..


  29. 102
    Anonymous says:

    Are we sure the horse was visiting Huhne ?

    Isn’t there a Woman’s wing at Wandsworth ?


  30. 103
    Anonymous says:

    All it needs is Dennis McShane to start shagging Carina while Huhne and Pryce are banged up to complete this unvirtuous circle.


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Find out more about PLMR

Rob Colvile reviews Russell Brand’s new book:

“Oddly, the person I feel sorriest for isn’t Brand himself – although he certainly comes across as a rather pitiable figure, projecting his own brokenness on to the world around him – but Johann Hari. Drummed out of Fleet Street for plagiarism, the former Independent columnist has washed up as “my mate Johann, who’s been doing research for this book”. For a genuinely talented polemicist, it would have been a humbling experience to have to treat this sub-undergraduate dross as the scintillating wisdom of a philosopher-king.”

Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!

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