February 22nd, 2013

Friday Caption Contest: Career Development Edition


186 Comments

  1. 1
    Kebab Time says:

    “Do you slum it here often?”

    Like

  2. 2
    Foxy Reynard says:

    FFS don’t get your tits out.

    Like

  3. 3
    Steve Miliband says:

    If we hidz unda the treees dem drones wont see us innit

    Like

  4. 4
    GoldenGem says:

    “Look! No hands!”

    Like

  5. 5
    Huhne for Prison says:

    “You know I`ve a reputation as a groper? But with you Sarah, I`m making an exception”.

    Like

  6. 8
    Osama the Nazarene says:

    Why didn’t you try and touch me up then? Is it coz I is …?

    Like

  7. 9

    I would like you to help upstairs with our penetration in Eastleigh.

    Like

  8. 10
  9. 11
    Alvin says:

    “I don’t agree with gays getting married either Sarah, would you like to suck on a mussel?”

    Like

  10. 12
    speeddatingbeast says:

    You are old short and ugly

    Yes, bt I am an MP

    Like

  11. 13
    Lard Everard says:

    What would you say to an in/out referendum ?

    Like

  12. 14
    Steve Miliband says:

    Sorry Sarah, I have to draw the line somewhere.

    Like

  13. 15

    Rennard: I’ve got your belt in my pocket. You forgot to put it back on.

    Like

  14. 16
    Baron Samedi says:

    See with my hands above the table you are safe.

    Like

  15. 17
    pantomimebeast says:

    Im sorry Sarah but we already have the seven that we needed for this Christmas

    Like

  16. 18
    Welshracer says:

    Look I can Fix it for you.

    Like

  17. 19

    Sex raises its ugly heads.

    Like

  18. 20
    Red Egg Millitit.....National Socialist. says:

    “Listen honey, just a finger of fun up yer bum and give yerself a treat”

    Like

  19. 21
    Bill says:

    “I’m sorry Sarah, you are just way too old for me”

    Like

  20. 22
    Baron Samedi says:

    so you want to be in the cabinet? get under the tablecloth and we will see what happens

    Like

  21. 23
    Liberal Letch says:

    You are too old for Hancock and too young for Huhne, join my short list Sarah.

    Like

    • 55
      Wayne Rooney says:

      Kinda on the cusp for me; more like an older sister or young aunt than a “Mom” type, for my money anyway.

      Like

  22. 24
    pantomimebeast says:

    the hamster romance

    Like

  23. 25
    Charlie says says:

    Comment redacted for legal reasons.

    Like

  24. 26
    speake says:

    I’m not wearing pants.

    Like

  25. 27
    Anonymous says:

    what position do you fancy?

    Like

  26. 28
    Jimmy says:

    He’d been told that women liked it if you laugh at their jokes but even he wasn’t that horny.

    Like

  27. 29
    pantomimebeast says:

    Want a ladder to get down fron that chair ?

    Like

  28. 30
    aarongr says:

    From cabinet post to bed post?

    Like

  29. 31
    lastofthesummervintage says:

    What nice jugs you have, can i have some

    Like

  30. 32
    Kent Constable says:

    yes sarah, you left your knickers upstairs.
    along with your saddle and reins

    Like

  31. 33
    Green Bencher says:

    Fancy a seat in the House of Lords?

    Like

  32. 34
    Little and Large says:

    He may be big John to you Sarah but to the rest of us he’s little John Bercow.

    Like

  33. 35
    STROPPYCOW says:

    Is he THAT fucking desperate? FFS!!

    Like

  34. 36
    Kent Constable says:

    Yes Sarah, we may need to use the bridle suite…

    Like

  35. 37
    Randy Rennard says:

    If I get on you get on.

    Like

  36. 38
    Miss Teather says:

    Freddie Star ate what?

    Like

  37. 39
    Oscar Pistoff says:

    I’m stumped.

    Like

  38. 40
    M J G says:

    He was a lecherous eminence gris, she a voluble, though dim, backbencher morally inconsistent on gay marriage; when they met it was in the same party as Lynne Featherstone.

    Like

  39. 41
    Everyone says:

    Should’ve gone to Specsavers

    Like

  40. 42
    Randy Rennard says:

    Would you like to be part of yet another Lib Dem cock-up?

    Like

  41. 43
    Ian E says:

    Can we discuss my plans for the coming erection?

    Like

  42. 44
    LiberalLibido says:

    “My foot? I was just supporting your candidacy!”

    Like

  43. 45
    Randy Rennard says:

    Yes, of course we can both claim this on expenses.

    Like

  44. 46
    johnwardmedway says:

    Look, Sarah, when it comes to you I’m at the end of my Teather – or my party’s, that is…

    Like

  45. 47

    The uneatable in full pursuit of the unspeakable.

    Like

  46. 48
    Sally *Swallows* Bercow says:

    Lib Dem speed dating is never going to be the same without Lord R

    Like

  47. 49
    water preservation says:

    Has all that water made you feel bloated. Now how about working for a friend of mine who hasn’t seen you do stand up

    Like

  48. 50
    Oscar Pistolious says:

    Oi! Judge! Noooooooo! Stop milking the attention and just deliver your fucking decision on bail!

    Like

  49. 51
    Anonymous says:

    Cover-up! By not sacking The Man With No Shame, politicians and civil servants are colluding to protect one of their own. The public are sickened by such cynicism
    By IAN BIRRELL

    Like

  50. 52
    a non says:

    ” I don’t want to be this way. I am lonely, I am lost. I mean I am literally lost, I have never been in this part of the Strangers Bar before.”

    Like

  51. 53
    Lord Rennard says:

    I’m Rennard
    My knob is well hard
    Come round my place
    And I’ll sexually assault you in the knowledge that the party top brass won’t do anything about it.

    Like

  52. 54
    Randy Rennard says:

    You gotta give head if you wanna get ahead.

    Like

  53. 56
    Aesop's Fables says:

    A lord in your hand is worth taking one up the bush

    Like

  54. 57
    poets day says:

    “We all have little foibles, Sarah. Would you like to see my little foibles?”

    Like

  55. 58

    If you’re not up for it, I’d rather tether Sarah.

    Like

  56. 59
    Lib Dem accused says:

    “Hello little girl, would you like to see my polling”

    Like

  57. 60
    teetotal says:

    He is not going to get his leg over by plying the lady with evian water!

    Like

  58. 61
    Randy Rennard says:

    You don’t have to worry about Cleggie, he does what he’s told.

    Like

  59. 62
  60. 63
    Patrick says:

    Just put your hands round the water jug – that will give you a rough idea.

    Like

  61. 65
    Con Artists says:

    The Lib Dems 24 hour approved UK ‘entry visa’ for speed daters gets off to a bad start.

    Like

  62. 66
    Grammar School Boy says:

    Er, while you’re down there….

    Like

  63. 67
    Sleazy Sarah says:

    Wow, I’ve found the biggest prick in the pary.

    Like

  64. 68
    Pissedoffius says:

    I’m gonna get on a plane to South Africa to go and punch this fucking judge who’s been taking over an hour just to announce whether he’s granting bail or not.

    Like

  65. 69
    Con Artists says:

    How many speeding points did you say ?

    Like

  66. 70
    Rotten Rennard says:

    I’m telling you because you can talk eye to eye with Bercow.

    Like

  67. 71
    Tom Tit says:

    Who’s fucking removed my comment about him doing her up up the brown hole because she looks like a swollen mong?

    Like

  68. 72

    Rennard: We’ve never had it so good!

    Teather: I’ve never had it.

    Like

  69. 73
    Daniel says:

    If I kiss the toad will she turn into a beautiful princess

    or

    He is saying to himself – Don’t look at her tits, don’t look at her tits, stare across the room, just don’t look

    Like

  70. 74
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    “You’d probably be the best I could ever hope to come up with, and vice versa, in any real-world scenario, but we live in the Westminster bubble, don’t we? Power is an aphrodisiac, they say, which is why we both think we can do better than each other– but we really can’t, if we’re being honest…”

    Like

  71. 75

    Sarah: I suppose a fuck is out of the question?

    Like

  72. 76
    Con Artists says:

    Look Sarah, normally it would be a no.

    But fcuk it, YOLO !

    Like

  73. 77
    EC1 PhD says:

    Can I have a Midget on the Rocks, please.

    Like

  74. 78
    Lib Dem minister for expenses cheating says:

    You’re fu*ked if you do, fu*ked if you don’t.

    Like

  75. 79
    Anonymous says:

    Don’t you find me attractive?

    Like

  76. 80

    If they were to have a baby together, would the mong turn out even worse looking than Prezza?

    Like

  77. 81
    Comic Sarah says:

    Finds a new joke.

    Like

  78. 82

    Let us face it, we are both fucked.

    Like

  79. 83
    Randy Rennard says:

    I can make things very hard for you.

    Like

  80. 84
    Randy Rennard says:

    Forget Nick, he’s just a little prick.

    Like

  81. 86
    The Dirty Rat says:

    Go ugly early.

    Like

  82. 88
    Randy Rennard says:

    I agree with Nick – you’re fu*king ugly.

    Like

  83. 89
    NeilMc says:

    “Sorry Sarah. Gotta draw the line somewhere”!

    Like

  84. 90
    Stepney says:

    What do you mean stand up? I AM standing up.

    Like

  85. 91
    Horse teatherer says:

    That’s o.k., I’ve always believed small is beautiful.

    Like

  86. 92
    Murderer says:

    Pistorious gets bail.

    The rich and famous always get bail.

    Like

  87. 94
    Anonymous says:

    What a pair of pricks.

    Like

  88. 95

    If you join me & Carina and Chris upstairs, I’ll show you why it’s called a bi-election.

    Like

  89. 96
    Purpleline says:

    Sarah I know my reputation goes before me, that I allegedly fook like a Rabbit, but I never ever fook Gerbils or Hamster (lookalikes).

    However,coincidentally LibDems will push for a Bestiality clause in our next coalition agreement with Labour.

    Like

  90. 97
    Well done to City University says:

    Just expel the c-unts.

    City University in London has been accused of discrimination by a group of Muslim students after it started locking a room used for Friday prayers.

    A group of students have formed Muslim Voices on Campus, calling on the university to reverse its decision.

    The group said it was being “unjustly targeted”.

    City said it acted because students had refused to submit the proposed content of sermons to the university before prayers to check its “appropriateness”.

    Wasif Sheikh, who leads the group, said: “We feel we are being unjustly targeted. All of our sermons are open, we welcome all students and all staff.

    “But when you start submitting your sermons to be monitored and scrutinised then there’s a chance for it to be dictated what’s allowed and what’s not allowed. We, as students, don’t accept that.”

    Like

  91. 98
    Adding a Dem to Libs Does Not Take Away Ongoing Weirdness Since Jeremy Thorpe says:

    Now, if you just open your legs a tad more, you will feel something warm and moist, don’t worry it’s only me, a little party trick.

    Like

  92. 99
    alextaylor says:

    Ok then Chris it’s agreed, l’ll wear a paper bag over my head if you fcuk me squealing like a pig

    Like

  93. 100
    Anonymous says:

    surprise, surprise : Sarah needs a ladder.

    surprise, surprise : Rennard offers a leg-up.

    Like

  94. 101
    Randy Rennard says:

    Lib Dems plan their next cock-up.

    Like

  95. 102
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Peter Griffin and his daughter Meg, on a recent visit to London…

    Like

  96. 103
    legless says:

    oscars bailed … this has the makings of an OJ type spectacle in the SA courts…the presiding official sounded like a real bumbler

    Like

  97. 106
    Randy Rennard says:

    I think I’m at the end of your Teather

    Like

  98. 107

    Ardour cools as he realises the water glass has a higher IQ.

    Like

  99. 108

    I am the new 8illy – it is quantity not quality that counts

    Like

    • 135
      X O X O X O X O X O X O X O X O X O X O X O X O X O X O X O X O X O X O X O X O X O X O X O X O X O says:

      Trolling someone on Caption Contest is about as low as it gets.

      You should get help.

      Like

  100. 109
    keredybretsa says:

    Darlin’ girl. I’ve had Dr Skinbacks Horn tablets.

    Like

  101. 111

    No, I don’t know! Why is this place called the Kit Kat club?

    Well, its all to do with fingers. Are you a two or a four?

    Like

  102. 113
    Lord Stansted says:

    No, I’m not Mr. Colchester!

    Like

  103. 114
    Oscar Bravo 1 to Control says:

    Apparently Oscar Pistorious wanted a new bathroom door but his missus was dead against it.

    Like

  104. 115
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Hell for Teather.

    Like

  105. 117
    Philip McArthur says:

    ” So just how liberal are you ?”

    Like

  106. 118
    YorkshireLad says:

    “And if you work for me, I’ll let you wear my ermine”

    Like

  107. 119
    PDPGB says:

    “No thanks dear, I may be an old letch but I do have some standards”

    Like

  108. 120
    Patrick says:

    My wife doesn’t understand me.

    Like

  109. 121
    Chris Huhne HMP73421 says:

    ST – Please grope me, please. Please, please, please.

    Like

  110. 122
    old SHEP says:

    Norris’es dastardly other brother arrives in Wetherfield and chats-up barmaid in the Rovers Return.

    Like

  111. 123
    D'jango. says:

    (Teather) Are you going to leave the tip?
    (Rennard) No, I’ve just pulled my fly up!

    Like

  112. 124
    Patrick says:

    I’m not like the other LibDems you know – I’m straight.

    Like

  113. 125
    LetThemSniffCoke says:

    Cheer up, Sarah. I’m stupid, fat and ugly too but that’s actually an asset in the LibDems.

    Like

  114. 126
    Black Rod - F**k Me How Many More Of My Good Lords Are Bent says:

    Look sweetie, if you turn me down you get Mike Handycock, it’s a no brainer.

    Like

  115. 128
    When I was a lad I served a term as office boy to an attorney's firm... says:

    I think ermine here!

    Like

  116. 130
    Sir William Wade says:

    Slowly, but precisely, Lord Rennard manoeuvred the mini-cam on the toe of his right shoe……

    Like

  117. 132
    Operation Crossbow says:

    If I put my hand down your knickers what will I get?

    Like

  118. 133
    Chris says:

    “Not sure if I’m Rennard or Falconer, are you.”

    “Uncomfortable, aren’t you.”

    Like

  119. 134
    William says:

    Do you have a Pussy, Cat?

    Like

  120. 136
    Patrick says:

    You look like one of the girls in this month’s Razzle.

    Like

  121. 137
    an impartial observer says:

    “The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.”

    Like

  122. 140
    Rightallalong says:

    Look Sarah, it’s either you or the ‘gay corner’ over there.

    Like

  123. 141
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    Did you know that there is at least one atom of Schrödinger’s cat’s pee in that jug of water?

    Like

  124. 142
    Gonk III says:

    ‘Can you be short and get to my point ‘

    Like

  125. 143
    SHE says:

    You will be careful,’cos i,m small,..and very,very tight?….

    Like

  126. 144
    Guy Martin to win TT2013 says:

    If I leave you unwhipped you’ll only bore me with a rambling nonsensical explanation that nobody understands

    Like

  127. 146
    Handsy says:

    How did you do that with your hands above the table?

    Like

  128. 147
    Patrick says:

    Miriam, I just know that I’m a lot better in bed than Nick.

    Like

  129. 149
    Anonymous says:

    Sarah,just feel under the table to discover how big I am on the stump.

    Like

  130. 150
    Anonymous says:

    Rennard’s beer goggles deliver in spades.

    Like

  131. 152
    damned impertinent questions says:

    Like

  132. 153
    DYKEVISIONS says:

    When Speed Dating goes horribly wrong!

    Like

  133. 155
    Captn P says:

    Your perfect for the job, the right height and nice flat head.

    Like

  134. 156
    damned impertinent questions says:

    Like

  135. 157
    Anonymous says:

    Fugly Convention 2013.

    Like

  136. 158
    Limp Dem says:

    Don’t worry Sarah. Rennard’s diabetic so probably impotent.

    Like

  137. 159
    The savant 10.4 highway patrol says:

    And. Now young man….

    Have you any thoughts on the career path you would like to follow when you finally grow up ?

    Like

  138. 160
    Populist2010 says:

    I agree with Nick.

    Like

  139. 162
    Grecian 2000 says:

    ‘Eh Chris, she is just as ugly as your ex and not even as funny!’

    Like

  140. 163
    Grecian 2001 says:

    Nudge, wink, ‘Could I interest you in some speeding points?’

    Like

  141. 164
    Stepney says:

    In hunting circles that’s termed teathering an old goat.

    Like

  142. 166
    Anonymous says:

    i am going to slip my finger into your ring you fucking hobbit

    Like

  143. 167
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Don’t worry little girl – I’ve got a copy of the operation Ore list yeu know! and I know who all the journo’s on that list are; besides the judges, legals, MP’s, police, and the captains of industry. We are the untouchables.

    Like

  144. 168
    Modus Operandi says:

    “Why don’t we take our water with us upstairs to my room ?”

    Like

  145. 171
    It Was all Gordons fault says:

    Don’t worry they even let oscar out, yeh but they took his legs off to stop him doing a runner

    Like

  146. 173
    robbie says:

    if that’s what it takes, Clegg can keep the job.

    Like

  147. 174
    Anonymous says:

    Good Christ I pity the poor sap who has to judged these predictable, schoolboy (sorry to insult 14 year old boys!) “jokes.”

    Tedious.

    Like

  148. 175
    Anonymous says:

    I’m coming to the Teather on my end.

    Like

  149. 176
    Must get a pseudonym one day says:

    Even if you can get my honourable member to stand, my dear, there’s not much chance of a lost deposit.

    Like

  150. 177
    Stu says:

    Don’t worry dear, if I honk your tits that’s as far as it will go. They don’t call me a limp dim for nothing.

    Like

  151. 180
    blub says:

    I feel you’d make the perfect height for an ambitious Lib Dem PPC.

    Like

  152. 181
    Postal Votes are Labour Loo Paper says:

    Dinner time at “Porkers R Us”- with added horse shit, sorry, meat.

    Like

  153. 182
    Keith Dovkunts says:

    Sarah, not only will I be taking your cherry, I’ll be doing you a second favour. I’m offering you the chance to avoid being labeled the Ann Widecombe of the Liberal Democrats . . .

    Like

  154. 183
    50 Calibre says:

    “What do you mean, exception? I am not making an exception of you. It’s always easier to get the knickers off the ugly ones. You are on my list”.

    Like

  155. 184
    Geordieboy says:

    Give me a wank with your lips and you don’t have to bend down Sarah

    Like

  156. 185
    Nemesis says:

    I know I am a grossly obese ugly man but you are my only hope. Don’t you find pleasure in these fat slobbering lips?

    Like


Seen Elsewhere

Yes Scotland’s Geo-Targeting Advertising Fail | MessageSpace
#IndyRef Twitter Map | Trendsmap
Westminster Has Patronised Scots | Scottish Sun
What Happens in the Event of a Recount? | Breitbart
Yes Side Emphatically Won Campaign | Speccie
Joyce Thacker on Sick Leave | Doncaster Free Press
Claire Perry Slams ‘Goodies’ for Scots | Sun
Westminster Truce Shatters | Times
Boris: Prime Minister By Monday | James Ford
Tories Say Don’t Bribe the Scots | Times
Dave Can’t Stay if Scots Go | Laura Perrins


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