February 15th, 2013

Friday Caption Contest: Whinnying Here Edition


  1. 1
    Absolute left wing bollocks says:


  2. 2
    Mike Litorus says:

    Aaaaaaannnd They’re Toff!

  3. 3
    SP4BS says:

    Ugggh. I saw a common person eating something like that on a plane.

  4. 4
    IanVisits says:

    Who broke the screen on my iPad?

  5. 5
    SP4BS says:

    Stool sample of britains most worm infected man.

  6. 6
    steviecrimbo says:

    ” Eat that! you must be joking. That’s reserved for ones servants”

  7. 7

    “Here mate, I found your brain”

  8. 8
    Eric says:

    We’re going to open a beef processing plant in your constituency.

  9. 9
    David Brede says:

    Eat it. Do you think I’m an ass?

  10. 10

    Are they booing me in the background?

  11. 11
    Star Trek: The Common Purpose Generation says:

    It’s life, George, but not as we bought it.

  12. 12
    I Squiggle says:

    No Mr. Osborne, I expect you to eat it..

  13. 13
    Anonymous says:

    Why don’t we charge VAT on horsemeat?

  14. 14
    Murdo says:

    These horses are due us millions in Inheritance taxes

  15. 15
    Wanda Ringhands says:

    Gideon: I told you once but I’ll say it again, that is not David Cameron’s brain. His contains more horse.

  16. 16
    tallbloke says:

    “What do you mean there’s no spaghetti tree?”

  17. 17
    Anonymous says:

    Spaghetti Bologneighs!

  18. 18
    I Squiggle says:

    And this one came 4th in the 3.30 at Newmarket..

  19. 19
    Andy Fitzpatrick says:

    Could you repeat that again,,the poor people actually buy this thing and,,,stick a fork in it to make holes and then put it in a micro,,what?,,please don’t say they then eat it or I will be sick,,dreadful people.

  20. 20
    keredybretsa says:


  21. 21
    Anonymous says:

    Personally, I prefer Korean food. It’s the dog’s bo**ocks!

  22. 22
    Shire Tory says:

    I’m terribly sorry sir, the sample appears to indicate you err, hmmmm, have worms sir!

  23. 23
    Anonymous says:

    Stick it up yer’ ‘orse!

  24. 24
    Cut-me-own-throat Dibbler says:

    Where’s the beef?

  25. 25
    Shire Tory says:

    The doctors say that following my bowel cancer I have to watch what I eat. So, I’m trying to get ticets for this years Grand National!

  26. 26
    Cut-me-own-throat Dibbler says:


  27. 27
    Man ho;lding Findus ready meal says:

    It’s the new Findus dish. Tapeworm Bolognese

  28. 28
    I Squiggle says:

    And this one came highly recommended by the readers of Horse and Hound..

  29. 29

    Man : “It looks like cast off bits . I’d say Its been swept up off the floor. Its repackaged and relabeled and reheated. But its still just a scoop of unpalatable, indigestible, ill defined mush.”

    We’re going to label it ..

    “Miliband’s 10p tax aspiration – not for serious economic consumption.”

  30. 30
    PDPGB says:

    ‘May 2015 – newest enrollee on Government Workfare Scheme provides stool sample’

  31. 31
    Anonymous says:

    “How am I supposed to shoot foxes on that?”

  32. 32

    Back-to-work participant told to stop complaining: ‘You said you wanted to work with horses, George.’

  33. 33
    Iain C. says:

    No, I assure you, it pasta be beef.

  34. 34
    Wanda Ringhands says:

    Passing off some expensively reared, inbred animal as the real thing is wrong. But enough of David Cameron, what did you want to ask me about ready-meals?

  35. 35
    I Squiggle says:

    And this one goes quite nicely with some horseradish..

  36. 36

    The buckaroo stops here!

  37. 37
    Cut-me-own-throat Dibbler says:

    I’m not going to eat that. I may catch an Orse-borne disease.

  38. 38
    MB says:

    An oldie, but:

    “Why the long face?”

  39. 39
    I Squiggle says:

    You woos, Eric Pickles ate six of these..

  40. 40

    ..I see…So it is 100% horse….Oh dear… Well, as chancellor I’d better do something. How about a 24% Vat rate if its served hot, but 12% as it cools?

  41. 41
    PR man in discussion with Gideon says:

    After the success of the tumorous growth over a cigarette we thought we would try the same with a Findus ready meal.

  42. 42
    Farmer Giles says:

    We serve this to the patients at stafford hospital. Just out of reach and we find it lasts for weeks.

  43. 43
    simon ford says:

    stop your whinnying, I mean whining!, its 75p to you

  44. 44
    When I was a lad I served a term as office boy to an attorney's firm... says:

    The tasting panel liked it, so it’s cleared the first hurdle.

  45. 45
    Cut-me-own-throat Dibbler says:

    God only knows what’s in their stew and dumplings.

  46. 46
    Wanda Ringhands says:

    Now I KNOW I heard snorting in your hotel room, was it you or Neddy here?

  47. 47
    tomknott says:

    Weel, I’ll be burgered.

  48. 48
    wiganshale says:

    OMG! a pleb. Where’re those damned G4S security police?

  49. 49
    yeah, right... says:

    Man: This vile mass of fat and tissue isn’t what it’s claimed to be.

    CoE: That’s a bit harsh, and anyway, I’ve never said I was a Conservative.

  50. 50
    Shaun says:

    Not exactly what one had in mind when I said I was looking for a horsebox.

  51. 51
    Anonymous says:

    Do I look like my names gummer?

  52. 52
    Casual Observer says:

    Apparently it was Al-Dente at 10 to 1.

  53. 53
    The Pollster says:

    You are now nearly as popular as this.

  54. 54
    Anonymous says:

    Stop nagging about ready meals – I’ve got a whole economy to screw up!

  55. 55
    Wanda Ringhands says:

    No I can’t eat that, I’m too full after eating their faggots.

  56. 56


    Nah, mate..its Halal.

  57. 57
    Mr Trellis says:

    Not ‘whores’ Chancellor, ‘horse’.

  58. 58
    Oz born says:

    “Rodney, I said we had to stabilise the economy, not beef it up”

  59. 59
    talltexan says:

    Dinner has arrived sir.

  60. 60
    I Squiggle says:


    Well, as you can tell, its above ambient temperature now, so that’s another fiver you owe me..

  61. 61

    I’ve made a bit of a corned beef hash of the economy.

  62. 62
    Riding high says:

    “Are you sure they wont find Rebbecca Brooks horse in this product”

  63. 63
    Horsey Python says:

    Dead ? Nah mate. He’s…he’s, ah…probably pining for Chepstow.

  64. 64
    Wanda Ringhands says:

    When I said I wanted to see the horse-faces I meant Tory party members!

  65. 65

    Get back you devil in disguise and take that offering back to the pits of hell

  66. 66
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    This appears to show it’s terminal.

  67. 67
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    I’ts not one of ours sir, this is an engineering workshop.

  68. 68
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    Looks like lathe turnings sir.

  69. 69
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    “Gideon, limbering up on the touchline, ready to come in during the next stoppage of play, that’s him in the reflector vest…”

  70. 70
    michael says:

    Neigh lad …this ‘OS muck it’s ollers in ‘t royd.

  71. 71
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    Looks allot like the economy sir.

  72. 72
    LaboutNutter says:

    We’re all Findus together.

  73. 73
    Salvador says:

    I’m from the Dali Mail. Here’s my ID.

  74. 74
    lastofthesummervintage says:

    FFS don’t let Princess Anne know what’s in that. They have spies in the cabinet you know

  75. 75
    Spacker Brown says:

    “You’ve let me down, you’ve let yourself down, and you’ve let the whole school down.”

  76. 76
    davejf27 says:

    These Korean meatballs really are the dogs bollocks!

  77. 77

    Workfare scheme visit.

    “And so exactly how many former unemployed people made this?”

    “Well..depends on the person. One of them big lardy aresed ones makes about 30 packs.”

  78. 78
    Simon says:

    “The Nays have it”

  79. 79
    Andy Burnham says:

    Well, it could be policy…

  80. 80
    Anonymous says:

    Listen my good man. I asked you to bring me my horse drawn carriage not a horse quorn marriage.

  81. 81

    Give it to Teresa – she needs it more than I do.

  82. 82
    orcadiana says:

    These packs are underweight in meat by 20grams. This one has 30grams of beef, which is correct but only 50 grams of horse.
    And that, is a serious offence, Sir.

  83. 83
    Anonymous says:

    So tell me, does this Eric Pickles Tapeworm Diet actually work?

  84. 84
    restore the monasteries says:

    What with “Gay marriage” and pork ,secretly,in many innocent food products
    i would like to welcome our muslim friends to live here!!!!!

  85. 85
    Chris says:

    Do you have that with added Shergar?

  86. 86
    Anonymous says:

    This pack may contain traces of ‘Orsebone.

  87. 87
    Tosspot says:

    So this is your vision of the future Chancellor.

  88. 88
    CarryHole is a stupendous Hunt says:

    Osbourne confounded by neighsayers.

  89. 89
    Anonymous says:

    I wouldn’t eat it but Theresa May.

  90. 90
    Sir Beefeater says:

    Spot the horse’s arse in this picture.

  91. 91
    My Real Name says:

    And the plebs actually eat this stuff?

  92. 92
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    I understand you want a refund sir, but this is a redundant widgets workshop.

  93. 93
    SleeplessInKirkaldy says:

    You are like this Ready meal, Chancellor. You look like a Conservative and came with a Conservative manifesto, but…

  94. 94
    Govt-by-Cluster-Fuck says:

    And the best thing is , it is guaranteed free of mad cows disease.

  95. 95
    Taxfodder says:

    Horsemeat you say? well ill beef hooked….

  96. 96
    Con Artists says:

    Yes, that really is my brain..

  97. 97
    Andy Pandy says:

    Can you please tell us Mr Osborne why were the carcasses of six bute infected horses slaughtered in the UK between 30 January 2013 and 7 February 2013 exported to France where according to the FSA they “may have entered the food chain ” ?

    Do you agree that this is a negligent act ?

  98. 98
    Tax Slave says:

    Who would be better at running the economy. You or Red Rum?

  99. 99
    Come In No.10 Your Time's Up says:

    No thanks George, I think I’ll just flush it straight down the loo and cut out the middleman.

  100. 100
    Mandy's Right Hand Man says:

    “What’s the price of that then?”

    “8/1 against”

  101. 101
    Mr Oaks says:

    I might be out of touch, but even I know that’s not lasagne.

  102. 102
    doudadthree says:

    Does anyone actually eat that shit..

  103. 103
    Rosetta says:

    Sorry Chancellor, but this meat has more credibility than your economic policies.

  104. 104
    Anonymous says:

    Tory Bolognese. May contain nuts.

  105. 105
    ChrisM says:

    No, let’s try again Mr Osborne. This isn’t your arse or your elbow. What am I holding?

  106. 106
    Mr Oaks says:

    Well, if you used your 10% staff discount at Poundland then it’s only really 90% horse.

  107. 107
    Con Artists says:

    The Duchess of Cornwall, may I introduce you to David Miliband

  108. 108
    Peter Grant says:

    Too bad for George Osborne that his other stalking horse is more lively and better prepared than that one, or himself for that matter!

  109. 109
    Joe King says:

    Seriously Chancellor, call your buddies and tell them to stop, at this rate there’ll be nothing left for the Grand National.

  110. 110
    Anonymous says:

    Gideon: “I’m so hungry I could eat the hind leg off a donkey.”

    Flunkey: ” Then the Findus Bolognese it is sir.”

  111. 111
    T'Old Fella says:

    Gideon: You don’t expect me to eat that rubbish I’m the Chancellor of the Exchequer, that is for the common people, who I don’t know of course.

  112. 112
    LetThemSniffCoke says:

    “Pleased to meat you,” stuttered the Chancellor, momentarily shocked to be introduced to Labour’s Eastleigh candidate.

  113. 113
    T'Old Fella says:

    Eric, shouldn’t that be a horse meat plant

  114. 114
    Geordieboy says:

    This is horses tape worms I salvaged before being minced. Nothing has been said about the spaghetti.

  115. 115
    Frederick Gideon Threepwood says:

    It all needs to be destroyed? No problem. Put it on a pile. We’ll starve Uncle Eric for 30 minutes and send him on down.

  116. 116
    David Cameroooooooon says:

    100% Raisa with complements from Rebekah Brookes

  117. 117
    Fishy says:

    Yes… much, much worse than killing 1200 patients in Stafford Death Camp

  118. 118
    Jimbo says:

    ” Bit like us really, relying on a mixture of cheap cuts “

  119. 119
    @nby83 says:

    So this contains 100% Adam Afriyie, sorry, I mean stalking horse, problem solved

  120. 120
  121. 121
    Anonymous says:

    Ready meal, what the devil is a ready meal?

  122. 122
    I like poor people but I couldn't eat a whole one says:

    Findus ready meals – as recommended by The Galloping Gourmet.

  123. 123

    Pastafarian Communion celebration. In the flesh.

  124. 124
    the savant10.4 highway patrol says:

    Lokk I’ve already said I don’t eat that sort of food —- so be a good fellow and be off with you .

    Or as my friend Davy mimed in the House recently at PMQ’s:

    “Why don’t you just fuck off “

  125. 125
    anonemo says:

    I said, get me something that I could snort.

  126. 126
    I like poor people but I couldn't eat a whole one says:

    You’re no different to Findus, Chancellor; you’re both flogging a dead horse.

  127. 127
    anonemo says:

    This is the closest I can get to snorting on these wages.

  128. 128
    AJ says:

    “Don’t worry Chancellor, Camilla swears by it.”

  129. 129
    Anonymous says:

    Osborne expresses concern that his Tesco Bolognese may give him the trots.

  130. 130
    Philip McArthur says:

    ” I’m sorry to tell you Mr Osbourne, but you’ve got worms.”

  131. 131

    You’ve made a right bolognese of the economy

  132. 132
    Elksy says:

    “Are you having a giraffe?” “No, but you’re having horse”

  133. 133
    A spaniard says:

    Spaghetti al burro

  134. 134
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    a lot

  135. 135
    Sir William Wade says:

    “What is a ‘microwave oven’?”

  136. 136
    The Plebington Club says:

    Here. You throw this food around. And I’ll go and smash up that bench.

  137. 137
    Sir William Wade says:

    Quite right, George. The goop that’s sold for working-class consumption has the lot: lips, noses, eyes, nerves, genitals, the slaughterman’s laundry…..

  138. 138
    Sylvio says:

    Excuse me sir, I understand that this is your stool sample.

  139. 139
    EyeSee says:

    “It’s, er, Shergar, sir”

  140. 140
    Roget says:

    Well there are dozens of winners in the above comments.
    Must be the best ever of these “competition”.

  141. 141
    ZT says:

    The new x-ray id cards are catching on

  142. 142
    WoRaft ChiHUAHua says:

    This is all that remains of one patient in Stafford Hospital.

  143. 143
    Anonymous says:

    Trotting out he same jokes.

  144. 144
    Worker says:

    Fancy going for a nag break?

  145. 145
    Apple Bonker says:

    That’s a fake iPad mate. Us MPs all got the real thing.

  146. 146
    ZT says:

    The new x-ray id cards are finally catching on

  147. 147
    Anonymous says:

    Don’t look so scared sir. If you look closely you’ll see the letters NHS. Feel the quality sir. The envy of the world.

  148. 148
    Sir Mary Flappes says:

    Gideon’s bridle.

  149. 149
    Sim says:

    “Your iPad seems to have broken”

  150. 150
    poets day says:

    “No. The girl on the phone definitely said you had fresh whores from Eastern Europe…”

  151. 151
    Martin says:

    The one Dave was riding ?

  152. 152
    Where's my bucking bronco? In the bucking pie says:

    Listen, I will explain it slowly….. This full of horse MEAT, you full of horse… Oh I give up.

  153. 153
    Debs other half says:

    The meat is this ready meal comefrom the stables.

    Which stables?

    The ones you forgot to mention when claiming your expenses!

  154. 154
    Geoffers says:

    Of course I’m not going to eat that, you stupid hack. Grow up and sod off.

  155. 155
    Voting Floater says:

    The good news is that this isn’t horsemeat. The bad news is that there’s a very angry bull looking for his testicles.

  156. 156
    Giddy Up says:

    Look sir. It’s perfect if you’re on the hoof.

  157. 157
    Graham Smith says:

    “And this is an example of the sort of complimentary food served to holders of first class rail tickets…”

  158. 158
    Eels says:

    New Ipad App reveals content of Osbourne’s brain.

  159. 159
    Farmer Giles says:

    It’s full of shit, it looks revolting and it’s well past it’s sell-by date. Don’t you agree, Dobbin?

  160. 160
    verticalwater says:

    Life’s Bute-iful.

  161. 161
    damned impertinent questions says:

    Its fantastic stuff. Just one of these will feed a family of Romanians for a whole week

  162. 162
    damned impertinent questions says:

    “Tim Yeo has suggested we should rebrand it as equine recycling rather than food and then we can get a subsidy off the Treasury. Damn good idea. More than worth the consultancy fee”

  163. 163
    damned impertinent questions says:

    “£10,000 a head and this is what we do to the 1922″

  164. 164
    damned impertinent questions says:

    “When we burgled Milliband’s office this is what we found filed under ‘Economic Strategy'”

  165. 165
    The NHS says:

    Or a whole ward.

  166. 166
    damned impertinent questions says:

    “It’s full of shit, it looks revolting and it’s well past it’s sell-by date…..but enough about the coalition …let’s talk spaghetti”

  167. 167
    damned impertinent questions says:

    Yes but you have to move it about from bed to bed when they cant reach it. It’s known as a Stafford Special

  168. 168
    damned impertinent questions says:

    “Mince? ….no I leave that to some of the back-benchers, if you get my drift”

  169. 169
    Osama the Nazarene says:


  170. 170
    damned impertinent questions says:

    Until last week this was Chris Huhne’s defence

  171. 171
    Andy Burnham says:

    Best served cold, like our patients

  172. 172
    damned impertinent questions says:

    You say ‘patient’ but in the industry we prefer the term ‘feedstock’

  173. 173
    damned impertinent questions says:

    ” ……………and next week we are planning new promotional packs labelled ‘Buy one and help the Dogs Home’ – brilliant cross branding and the ASA wont be able to touch us”

  174. 174
    Lord Flashman says:

    And this Chancellor, is the only kind of food the majority of the population can afford after thirty-four years of “free-market” capitalism and trickle-down economics.

  175. 175
    Jayne says:

    George – nice try, but hiding your coke in a ready meal was not the wisest plan. No wonder they call you Gidiot!

  176. 176
    Jayne says:

    George, let me explain, this is called a ready meal – a thing poor people eat. You know the ones you and your stupid toff chum Camerchump are knowing feeding horse meat to, because your mate who owns the firm wants more profits and you promised to get him a knock off paddock out of expenses, but as it pee’d people off last time you had to promise him the profits for ponies deal?

  177. 177
    Not Bill Quango MP says:

    Are you sure you don’t want to try this Ready-Medhi George ?

  178. 178
    robbie says:

    “Its a special mix of policy measures that just requires reheating”.

  179. 179
  180. 180
    Haribo Halfwit says:

    The third world, perhaps – certainly not any of our economic peers or neighbours.

  181. 181
    damned impertinent questions says:

    “We call it the Mervyn King Size meal – one potion and you are up Quantitative Easing all night”

  182. 182
    easyleys says:

    This one is special, it’s actually made from the horse which Dave rode last year in Chipping something

  183. 183
    Mrs Mop says:

    “Don’t threaten me with a frozen horse”

  184. 184
    Savanarola says:

    Oi serf, who do you think I am, Richard III?

  185. 185
    Giddy up says:

    Don’t put yer pony on it!

  186. 186
    Giddy up says:

    I’ve heard of enjoying the country life but really this is as tough as the saddle it last had on its back!

  187. 187
    Giddy up says:

    Was this the ‘ride’ Dave had from Rebekkah!

  188. 188
    Mark says:

    “It’s not big and it’s not clever and neither is the bolognaise”!

  189. 189
    Red Rump says:

    We lost triple A rating. So here’s one of those new triple B bungled derivatives; Balls and Brown’s Bottom.

  190. 190
    Red Rump says:

    The new generation can be run on this to provide how much horse power?

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