February 11th, 2013

Sally’s Boozy Night With Tory Boys

Slumped in an alleyway outside a bar: this was Sally Bercow in the early hours of Friday morning. The Speaker’s wife had spent a boozy evening with young male Tory researchers, kicking off at the Sports and Social in Parliament before heading to Players’, a regular piano dive for twenty-something staffers. Alastair Whitby, who works for a Conservative MP, tweeted: “Pleased to see @SallyBercow was out and on form last night at Players Bar”, while another Tory researcher told how he was “Yoloing [You only live once] on the dancefloor with Sally Bercow”. No doubt it went down well with John…


  1. 1
    Sally *wipesmouth* says:

    I’m not as think as you pissed I am.


    • 13
      Red Egg Millitit.....oh nooooo says:

      Not what a middle-aged mother of young children should be doing….. perhaps?

      Time to contact Social Services? :)


    • 29
      John Bercow says:


    • 54
      Lord Stransted says:

      Will she make the Woman’s Hour power (sic) list?


    • 85
      Keitho says:

      Starkle, starkle little twink,

      Who the hell you are I think,

      I’m not under the affluence of incohol,

      As other thinkle peep I am.


    • 118
      Old Tory Bigot says:

      Whatever I personally think of Mr Bercow (and it isn’t much) I believe the Office of Speaker deserves respect.

      Bercow’s position and authority is continually undermined by his bloody awful wife and he should, in my opinion, either sort out his relationship or resign.

      Just how far has the Commons fallen in ethics and behaviour to allow this spiv with his tuppeny tart to be Speaker?

      We’ve gone from giants like George Thomas and Betty Boothroyd to minows and shysters like Michael Martin and Bercow, all within a generation.

      Not much hope is there?


      • 135
        FLETCH says:

        you may be old, you may be a tory, and you may be a bigot,
        but, most importantly ……


      • 139
        Care for the needy says:

        It’s not as if you can be judged by marriage in politics, plenty of MPs have wives who do much worse and actually sleep around all the time. At least she has a rather salutary other half, (good for her) who just about keeps everyone in check, like parliament, it is that hardihood and strength he has to bear her quirkiness that makes him a good speaker. As they don’t like being kicked they’ll probably sack him though.


  2. 2
    Bercow Watch says:

    Speaker needs to have a word.


  3. 3
    Ghost of Eric Pickles' Breakfast says:

    I suppose there is a £1000 fine for not recycling this rubbish


  4. 5
    A Fox says:

    Urghhh, I wouldn’t touch that


    • 28
      Anonymous says:

      I wouldn’t touch it with yours either.


    • 106
      Anonymous says:

      what is the lady’s religion. cause what we do define who we are. so no matter what the hypocritic/in denial folks say actions are it.
      for fox knows it is the fox. ah yes, the simple virtuous existence in the fox world, fox tv world….murdoch wants to own the sun in the sky and he cannot be outfoxed.
      …Respect the new immortals.

      all bow before the new immortals…they


  5. 6
    Sally and the seven dwarfs says:

    I always go down well on John when he’s grumpy


  6. 8
    Sauced says:

    I thought Alley was on the wagon?


  7. 9
    Anonymous says:

    This is at the pre ending up in a skip with your knickers off stage then?


  8. 10
    A Horse says:

    She is Bute I full


  9. 12
    Rupert says:

    Next time you use one of my picture, make sure you make ‘The Sun’ logo even bigger, yer pommy bastard.


  10. 14
    keredybretsa says:

    Is that Tory Boys or Toy Boys! Careful it could soon be ‘Yodoing’ you only die once, too.


    • 59
      Tay King-dePisse says:

      Johnny the Berk Cow’s Hubby dies a little bit more each day, you’d have figured…


    • 131
      Gracie Fields says:

      Sally in our alley,’Tory boys or toy boys’….Is there a difference?


      • 140
        Lefty moose says:

        Some glowin young men are gigolos with no money and vote labour/green/lib dems. Them with day-jobs tend to be tory boys but you can whip that out of them hehe. when you tell em how much more money they can have and a house of full kids and a soup kitchen set-up, to milk the state for what it’s werth.


  11. 15
    Foxy Story says:

    So how did a fox come to be inside a house on a cold winter’s day? It’s not as if the doors and windows would have been left open to cool the place down.


  12. 16
    Tosspot says:

    Another example of how standards have been demeaned in High Office ?.


  13. 19
    Viva la Frogs says:

    Mad Cow scare. French Ban British meat.

    Mad Nag scare. British say ban is not playing to the EU rules.

    I reckon the French got it right. Stuff Europe, protect the home.


    • 112
      Curly says:

      Agree 100%. Shut the damn borders to all meat imports right now until this is all sorted out properly. Farmers can also stuff Europe by reopening their own local abattoirs. What happened to the old British phlegm? (Cough)


  14. 20
    Pissed stained Tramp says:

    This ageing vamp was actually quite shaggable about ten years ago.


  15. 22
    bergen says:

    I suppose it will be a reality TV series next- “Sally and John”.


  16. 23
    Dick Lionheart. says:

    Is she on the game ??


  17. 24
    Casual Observer says:

    A trophy wife is meant to light up a room, not light up a fag.



    • 66
      Tay King-dePisse says:

      The fags she was hanging out with that night were well and truly lit all on their own, as apparently, so was she; t’wasn’t her doing got them so.


  18. 30

    She was even more fun at the Barbados travel conference last summer.


  19. 34
    What a waste of good air says:

    Fox in the box, slag in the bag, salley in the ally


  20. 38
    Operation Crossbow says:

    How typical that lefty Murdoch hating Susie Boniface (AKA Fleetstreetfox) sells her story to ……a Murdoch paper

    Don’t you just love lefties?


  21. 40
    Anonymous says:

    It’s dark,you’re in a deserted alley, she’s pissed, you’re pissed, she’s muttering on about how her husband doesn’t understand her and is the Dopey one of the Seven Dwarfs – on second thoughts maybe not.


  22. 41
    Sally from the Alley says:

    I often try to think about my first boyfriend.

    His name was some soldiers


  23. 42
    Now we know why he's grumpy says:

    You can’t blame her, can you? She’s married to a tosspot. He’s clearly a doormat. No husband would be happy for his wife to go out and get wasted with a bunch of 20-something guys. She’s publicly emasculating him and he’s got no choice but to take it.


  24. 44
    little john says:

    The sight of Sally staggering in reeking of fags and booze is a right turn on.


  25. 45

    Dear , IMF. ECB . EU. Bank of America. UN. International Rescue. Burger King. Holy Roman Empire.

    I wish to apply for any recent vacancies.
    I enclose my CV and a nice picture of some snowmen at a bus stop that I found on the interweb.
    Yours without sincerity,
    James Gordon Brown.

    Please note I may have to give two weeks notice.


    • 56
      Gordon Brown, not the sharpest tool in the chest says:

      I applied at Jepsons but everytime I looked through a camera viewfinder it was just dark


  26. 46
    Anonymous says:

    Why are “Tory” researchers partying with someone as toxic to the right wing as her?

    It’s like the Chief Rabbi going out on the town with Ahmindinejad.


  27. 47
    Anonymous says:

    who ever says yoloing should be slapped


    • 141
      Prof. International Human Rights Law says:

      Yes because you do “only live once” which means the world can be better or worse after your being it it, you can be remember for millenia many even for a million years for your good/invention. Or you can fade into oblivion. I think my money is on the latter for embarassments. She can still redeem herself by actually getting a job again. (and I dont mean stripper)


  28. 49
    The Popemobile says:

    Nothing say I have faith in god like three inches of bulletproof glass.


  29. 52
    pope goes the weasel says:

    tis the nefarious way to get someone else to do the dirty work and see to it that they get the blame afterwards so i tentatively suggest cardinal peter turkson will get the final pope slot as per the prophecy of saint malachy. if not him then quite possibly cardinal tarcisio bertone.

    i proffer that the conclave will be swift and the white smoke will swill on the 4th of march.

    ´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´ ¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´`


  30. 53
    Sally Bercow says:

    I had a totes amazeballs night with the lads! *cheeky grin* It was harmless fun! Nothing inapprops happ’d! *innocent face* John is perfectly ok with it. *winks* I was just out having fun with a good group of blokes! They’re such a totes good laugh! *opens legs, bends over*


  31. 60
    Black cat that Huhne says:


  32. 65
    Owin Jones says:

    Ed Miliband on Prime Minister David Cameron: “His decision to stand down is a brave one and we know he won’t have reached it lightly.”


  33. 68
    Steve smith says:

    Very choice as they say disparaginly in the valleys


  34. 71
    The People's Sally says:

    Hey hon, your crack pipe draws better than mine.


  35. 72
    Gordanus Brownum says:

    Ego sum naturale eius debent


  36. 74
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’d like to wish all of you a happy Valentines Day.


  37. 76
    Owin Jones says:

    Stepping into the Players provides those of us born at the doff capping end of the social scale to catch a glimpse of what public school life must have been like.

    There is, as one would expect from an establishment that is basically an annex of the local theatre, an extremely high toff count and substantial representation from the local branch of the luvvies union (oh Tarquin, do recite those lines from Hamlet you were quoting over the marinated poor person we simply devoured at our last supper!). But more strikingly is the strange mix of the institutional and the stinking rich. There is undoubtedly an undercurrent of the basic, signalled by thin carpets, bare white walls and those lightweight tables that you only find in common rooms and canteens. Yet, whereas as my old school Bog Standard Comprehensive would have supplied deck chairs, chipped tables and walls with the word cock sporadically chiselled at various angles, this upper class relaxing room has big leather chairs, a white piano mellowing in the corner and significant lashings of polish on every surface. At one stage I actually started to worry a butler would turn up and berate me for not starting the washing up.

    Whether or not you enjoy this place will therefore depend on how thick your aristocratic repellent is, although I doubt many people would find it particularly comfortable, as everything from the slightly too hard chairs to the slightly too gleaming paintwork has a harsh and artificial feel indicative of the Players add on nature (also reflected in the structure three separate areas that weave in different sizes around the interior: the Players is designed to fit the building rather than the other way round). Moreover the drinks, served from a gleaming long bar, are in the expensive bracket (6.80 for a small white wine and a Guinness). Yep, that little voice that cries ouch everytime I open my wallet had a belter of a night.

    Still, the Players does have a few redeeming qualities, thanks primarily to a few nifty side steps of the area’s competition. It opens considerably later than all the surrounding pubs (2.30am most days), serves a decent pub menu at all hours, has a reasonable drink selection (Guinness, Tetleys, usual lagers) and is perhaps the only drinking hole in the area where you stand a fair chance of getting a seat after 7pm. And, while my grandfather will no doubt be gnawing angrily at his copy of Das Kaptial in his grave, I have to admit the piano and general quiet (admittedly smug) surroundings can at times create a nice ambiance. Besides, the clientele represents a mine of piss taking potential.

    In the end, with these caveats included, the Players deserves a solid if deeply average 10/10.


  38. 79
    Carina Trimingham is Bernard Bresslaw in Carry on Matron says:

    “She wore big knickers and she worked at the sewage farm.
    Got my hands down her jeans and I nearly lost half my arm.
    But after ten pints, she looked quite fit,
    Couldn’t wait to get my hands on her flabby tits.
    Slap that and ride the ripples, just got to get my gob round her greasy nipples.
    Flabby arse, sweaty breasts, thirty eight chins, she was a mound of flesh.”


    Sweaty Sally, she eats a lot of pies,
    Sweaty Sally, she’s got enormous thighs,
    Sweaty Sally, have you smelled her breath?
    Sweaty Sally, she’d crush a man to death

    (Sung to the tune of “Sweaty Betty by the Macc Lads)


  39. 89
    an impartial observer says:


  40. 90
    Old Blue Eyes says:

    What a classy lady (I don’t think) She must be the most graceless woman ever to be hitched to an MP. God knows what the blue rinse brigade of Bercow’s constituency think.


  41. 92
    Just Another Zek says:

    Any chance we can just jump to The Lady’s Death in this modern Marriage à-la-mode?


  42. 94
    Living in 96.99% white Merseyside says:

    She’s a fellow smoker!


  43. 95
    Tiny Tom says:

    Speakers wife! What a disgraceful Tart


  44. 99
    of the common people says:

    Why is Sally trending?


  45. 102
    did Cameron pay for that coffee machine in his office says:

    Marvellous advert for the glorious institution of marriage !


  46. 103
    maggie the dog says:



  47. 104
    Two fat ugly fuds and their ugly brat fae Edinburgh. says:

    Sally Bercow is getting more chavie.


  48. 119
    Postal Votes are Labour Loo Paper says:

    She really is a most revolting specimen. Sums up GB today- totally fucked.


  49. 121
    VERITAS says:

    Sally Bercow is beyond parody,she would give a chav a bad name.Bercnut must have been desperate to marry out of the faith so to speak and end up with ths trash


  50. 123
    damned impertinent questions says:

    Well at least shes got her legs together and tits covered this time


  51. 125
    Norman Brand-exPA says:

    As a former member, in the 1980s, of the Houses of Parliament Sports and Social Club, when its rooms – I think they’ve been moved – had a river view, not far from Chancellor’s Gate in the Lords, I’m glad that the membership is clearly still inclusive, even comprehensive… I still have the club tie, though I’ve never worn it – would not wish to show off – and once I declared that if I were listed in ‘Who’s Who’ I would name the Club as mine. Policeman, peers and pasties, and Doorkeepers with awe- inspiring war records, as well as the excellent beer: those are what I remember, from 1991. I remember eminent broadcasters with cigarettes and Guinness, and the occasional peer and MP, and kitchen staff and Custodians, and the full-size billiard table (I think they removed that eventually). Well, I suppose that’s enough nostalgia. And thank you, Terry and May, for making that place a wonderful and welcoming hostelry. Perhaps, from what I have read in the post above, some of the village life is left. I hope some of its humanity permeates to our legislators, but I’m not sure any more.


  52. 126
    paulypilot says:

    She’s not “slumped in an alleyway”, she’s just outside a pub having a ciggie.
    What’s the problem?


  53. 129
    VulgarDisplayOfPower says:

    ‘Tis pity she’s a whore.


    • 142
      Prof. International Human Rights Law says:

      You can be sued under the Slander of Women Act 1891. That’s far from the truth. If by whore you imply a different sense however that she is likely to stray then that is conceivable though not yet proven, perhaps a divorce would be the best outcome for both?


  54. 130
    VulgarDisplayOfPower says:

    “last orders, last orders”


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