February 11th, 2013

Sally’s Boozy Night With Tory Boys

Slumped in an alleyway outside a bar: this was Sally Bercow in the early hours of Friday morning. The Speaker’s wife had spent a boozy evening with young male Tory researchers, kicking off at the Sports and Social in Parliament before heading to Players’, a regular piano dive for twenty-something staffers. Alastair Whitby, who works for a Conservative MP, tweeted: “Pleased to see @SallyBercow was out and on form last night at Players Bar”, while another Tory researcher told how he was “Yoloing [You only live once] on the dancefloor with Sally Bercow”. No doubt it went down well with John…


  1. 1
    Sally *wipesmouth* says:

    I’m not as think as you pissed I am.

  2. 2
    Bercow Watch says:

    Speaker needs to have a word.

  3. 3
    Ghost of Eric Pickles' Breakfast says:

    I suppose there is a £1000 fine for not recycling this rubbish

  4. 4
    Paniagua says:

    As someone said once on here…

    He should put his built up foot down.

  5. 5
    A Fox says:

    Urghhh, I wouldn’t touch that

  6. 6
    Sally and the seven dwarfs says:

    I always go down well on John when he’s grumpy

  7. 7
    7 Up Lemonade says:

    Can we hire you and your mates for a marketing idea we have?

  8. 8
    Sauced says:

    I thought Alley was on the wagon?

  9. 9
    Anonymous says:

    This is at the pre ending up in a skip with your knickers off stage then?

  10. 10
    A Horse says:

    She is Bute I full

  11. 11
    JabbaTheCat says:

    A perfect marriage, bound to last?

  12. 12
    Rupert says:

    Next time you use one of my picture, make sure you make ‘The Sun’ logo even bigger, yer pommy bastard.

  13. 13
    Red Egg Millitit.....oh nooooo says:

    Not what a middle-aged mother of young children should be doing….. perhaps?

    Time to contact Social Services? :)

  14. 14
    keredybretsa says:

    Is that Tory Boys or Toy Boys! Careful it could soon be ‘Yodoing’ you only die once, too.

  15. 15
    Foxy Story says:

    So how did a fox come to be inside a house on a cold winter’s day? It’s not as if the doors and windows would have been left open to cool the place down.

  16. 16
    Tosspot says:

    Another example of how standards have been demeaned in High Office ?.

  17. 17
    Tachybaptus says:


  18. 18
    Tosspot says:

    Cat Flap ?

  19. 19
    Viva la Frogs says:

    Mad Cow scare. French Ban British meat.

    Mad Nag scare. British say ban is not playing to the EU rules.

    I reckon the French got it right. Stuff Europe, protect the home.

  20. 20
    Pissed stained Tramp says:

    This ageing vamp was actually quite shaggable about ten years ago.

  21. 21
    Larry says:

    But ur average fox tends to be many sizes bigger than ur average moggy.

  22. 22
    bergen says:

    I suppose it will be a reality TV series next- “Sally and John”.

  23. 23
    Dick Lionheart. says:

    Is she on the game ??

  24. 24
    Casual Observer says:

    A trophy wife is meant to light up a room, not light up a fag.


  25. 25
    STuN says:

    Unless they were fiddling the gas

  26. 26
    Plato says:

    Common mis-conception; they are very similar in size.

  27. 27
    Shagged out says:

    Yes but the big fat gypsy weddings have taken their toll.

  28. 28
    Anonymous says:

    I wouldn’t touch it with yours either.

  29. 29
    John Bercow says:

  30. 30

    She was even more fun at the Barbados travel conference last summer.

  31. 31
    Anonymous says:

    And that word should be DIVORCE`. What a spineless little cretin Mr Squeaker is.

  32. 32
    Get back on Topic says:

    Piss flap?

  33. 33
    Anonymous says:

    Looks like she’s sparking up a crack pipe.

  34. 34
    What a waste of good air says:

    Fox in the box, slag in the bag, salley in the ally

  35. 35
    Paniagua says:

    The Wayne and Waynetta of Westminster

  36. 36
    Anonymous says:

    The word he needs to have with her is DIVORCE. How much longer will the silly little shyte put up with this kind of behaviour?

  37. 37
    The fox is bigger than a Moggy Wiki says:

    Male foxes are called Reynards, and weigh, on average, around 5.9 kilograms (13 lb) while female foxes, called vixens, weigh less, at around 5.2 kilograms (11.5 lb).

    Domestic cats. the average feral adult male will scale 3.9 kg (8.6 lb) and average feral female 3.3 kg (7.3 lb)

  38. 38
    Operation Crossbow says:

    How typical that lefty Murdoch hating Susie Boniface (AKA Fleetstreetfox) sells her story to ……a Murdoch paper

    Don’t you just love lefties?

  39. 39
    sally, sally, pride of our alley says:

    I thought she was the one sat on the step, but I may be wrong.

  40. 40
    Anonymous says:

    It’s dark,you’re in a deserted alley, she’s pissed, you’re pissed, she’s muttering on about how her husband doesn’t understand her and is the Dopey one of the Seven Dwarfs – on second thoughts maybe not.

  41. 41
    Sally from the Alley says:

    I often try to think about my first boyfriend.

    His name was some soldiers

  42. 42
    Now we know why he's grumpy says:

    You can’t blame her, can you? She’s married to a tosspot. He’s clearly a doormat. No husband would be happy for his wife to go out and get wasted with a bunch of 20-something guys. She’s publicly emasculating him and he’s got no choice but to take it.

  43. 43
    Sally says:

    My crack for your crack.

  44. 44
    little john says:

    The sight of Sally staggering in reeking of fags and booze is a right turn on.

  45. 45

    Dear , IMF. ECB . EU. Bank of America. UN. International Rescue. Burger King. Holy Roman Empire.

    I wish to apply for any recent vacancies.
    I enclose my CV and a nice picture of some snowmen at a bus stop that I found on the interweb.
    Yours without sincerity,
    James Gordon Brown.

    Please note I may have to give two weeks notice.

  46. 46
    Anonymous says:

    Why are “Tory” researchers partying with someone as toxic to the right wing as her?

    It’s like the Chief Rabbi going out on the town with Ahmindinejad.

  47. 47
    Anonymous says:

    who ever says yoloing should be slapped

  48. 48
    old SHEP says:

    Ideology is one thing, making a quick buck is another.

  49. 49
    The Popemobile says:

    Nothing say I have faith in god like three inches of bulletproof glass.

  50. 50
    Anonymous says:

    Slob by name……

  51. 51
    Sally Army Sergeant says:

    Our lads wouldn’t even touch you with a trombone

  52. 52
    pope goes the weasel says:

    tis the nefarious way to get someone else to do the dirty work and see to it that they get the blame afterwards so i tentatively suggest cardinal peter turkson will get the final pope slot as per the prophecy of saint malachy. if not him then quite possibly cardinal tarcisio bertone.

    i proffer that the conclave will be swift and the white smoke will swill on the 4th of march.

    ´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´ ¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´`

  53. 53
    Sally Bercow says:

    I had a totes amazeballs night with the lads! *cheeky grin* It was harmless fun! Nothing inapprops happ’d! *innocent face* John is perfectly ok with it. *winks* I was just out having fun with a good group of blokes! They’re such a totes good laugh! *opens legs, bends over*

  54. 54
    Lord Stransted says:

    Will she make the Woman’s Hour power (sic) list?

  55. 55
    Squeaker says:

    I rather admire cream pies as well

  56. 56
    Gordon Brown, not the sharpest tool in the chest says:

    I applied at Jepsons but everytime I looked through a camera viewfinder it was just dark

  57. 57
    Anonymous says:

    Is she…..SMOKING INDOORS !?

  58. 58
    Paniagua says:

    Did you show them the new tattoo? The one that says ‘slippery when wet’

  59. 59
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Johnny the Berk Cow’s Hubby dies a little bit more each day, you’d have figured…

  60. 60
    Black cat that Huhne says:

  61. 61
    old SHEP says:

    Three bedsheets to the wind again.

  62. 62
    Paniagua says:

    I’ll raise you 2 Dames and an Earl

  63. 63
    Gillian Duffy. says:

    I liked the Baron Knights, they were funny.

  64. 64

    John got her a set of temporary tattoos to use.
    Not really tattoos. More like labeling stickers from a hardware shop.

    This way up
    Hazchem – corrosive
    Open other end
    Suitable for wide loads
    Maximum limit 12 persons

  65. 65
    Owin Jones says:

    Ed Miliband on Prime Minister David Cameron: “His decision to stand down is a brave one and we know he won’t have reached it lightly.”

  66. 66
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    The fags she was hanging out with that night were well and truly lit all on their own, as apparently, so was she; t’wasn’t her doing got them so.

  67. 67
    Rebekah Brooks says:

    Will a policeman and a Vicar do? Oh and a Prime minister.

  68. 68
    Steve smith says:

    Very choice as they say disparaginly in the valleys

  69. 69
    Gordon Brown says:

    i will be Pope

  70. 70
    Old England says:

    You’d “fuck a frog “, if you could stop it “hopping”…..!!

  71. 71
    The People's Sally says:

    Hey hon, your crack pipe draws better than mine.

  72. 72
    Gordanus Brownum says:

    Ego sum naturale eius debent

  73. 73
    old SHEP says:

    A Baron and two Knights, one of whom is an ex-boss of MI6… character witnesses?.

  74. 74
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’d like to wish all of you a happy Valentines Day.

  75. 75
    now then says:

    The Barron Knights are a British humorous pop group, originally formed in 1959 in Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire[1] as the Knights of the Round Table.

  76. 76
    Owin Jones says:

    Stepping into the Players provides those of us born at the doff capping end of the social scale to catch a glimpse of what public school life must have been like.

    There is, as one would expect from an establishment that is basically an annex of the local theatre, an extremely high toff count and substantial representation from the local branch of the luvvies union (oh Tarquin, do recite those lines from Hamlet you were quoting over the marinated poor person we simply devoured at our last supper!). But more strikingly is the strange mix of the institutional and the stinking rich. There is undoubtedly an undercurrent of the basic, signalled by thin carpets, bare white walls and those lightweight tables that you only find in common rooms and canteens. Yet, whereas as my old school Bog Standard Comprehensive would have supplied deck chairs, chipped tables and walls with the word cock sporadically chiselled at various angles, this upper class relaxing room has big leather chairs, a white piano mellowing in the corner and significant lashings of polish on every surface. At one stage I actually started to worry a butler would turn up and berate me for not starting the washing up.

    Whether or not you enjoy this place will therefore depend on how thick your aristocratic repellent is, although I doubt many people would find it particularly comfortable, as everything from the slightly too hard chairs to the slightly too gleaming paintwork has a harsh and artificial feel indicative of the Players add on nature (also reflected in the structure three separate areas that weave in different sizes around the interior: the Players is designed to fit the building rather than the other way round). Moreover the drinks, served from a gleaming long bar, are in the expensive bracket (6.80 for a small white wine and a Guinness). Yep, that little voice that cries ouch everytime I open my wallet had a belter of a night.

    Still, the Players does have a few redeeming qualities, thanks primarily to a few nifty side steps of the area’s competition. It opens considerably later than all the surrounding pubs (2.30am most days), serves a decent pub menu at all hours, has a reasonable drink selection (Guinness, Tetleys, usual lagers) and is perhaps the only drinking hole in the area where you stand a fair chance of getting a seat after 7pm. And, while my grandfather will no doubt be gnawing angrily at his copy of Das Kaptial in his grave, I have to admit the piano and general quiet (admittedly smug) surroundings can at times create a nice ambiance. Besides, the clientele represents a mine of piss taking potential.

    In the end, with these caveats included, the Players deserves a solid if deeply average 10/10.

  77. 77
    Old England says:

    “The Wife of Bath”,comes to mind…

  78. 78
    Paniagua says:

    Who’s coat is that jacket?

    Who’s boots are them shoes?

  79. 79
    Carina Trimingham is Bernard Bresslaw in Carry on Matron says:

    “She wore big knickers and she worked at the sewage farm.
    Got my hands down her jeans and I nearly lost half my arm.
    But after ten pints, she looked quite fit,
    Couldn’t wait to get my hands on her flabby tits.
    Slap that and ride the ripples, just got to get my gob round her greasy nipples.
    Flabby arse, sweaty breasts, thirty eight chins, she was a mound of flesh.”


    Sweaty Sally, she eats a lot of pies,
    Sweaty Sally, she’s got enormous thighs,
    Sweaty Sally, have you smelled her breath?
    Sweaty Sally, she’d crush a man to death

    (Sung to the tune of “Sweaty Betty by the Macc Lads)

  80. 80
    The Proverbial Busload Of Nuns says:

    We’re available, should you need us!

  81. 81
    Dick Miliband says:

    Or the one that says “Mind The Gap”

  82. 82
    Chris Huhne says:

    I asked the Pope for mine

  83. 83
    Paniagua says:

    Have you tried the Glory Hole?

  84. 84
    Uncle Guido says:

    Yessum, massa Murdoch.

  85. 85
    Keitho says:

    Starkle, starkle little twink,

    Who the hell you are I think,

    I’m not under the affluence of incohol,

    As other thinkle peep I am.

  86. 86
    Alphonse Capone, noted Chicago businessman, says:

    Funny, I was thinking the same thing about you…

  87. 87
    old SHEP says:

    Nice bunch, they bought me a drink in a bar in Gibraltar in I974 I think, when they were out there to do a concert, Cheers! guys if you are still around.

  88. 88
    Aaron D Highside says:

    Sheer class. Ideal for the Squeaker.

  89. 89
    an impartial observer says:

  90. 90
    Old Blue Eyes says:

    What a classy lady (I don’t think) She must be the most graceless woman ever to be hitched to an MP. God knows what the blue rinse brigade of Bercow’s constituency think.

  91. 91
    Cuckolds Are Pathetic says:

    He could try behaving like a man.

  92. 92
    Just Another Zek says:

    Any chance we can just jump to The Lady’s Death in this modern Marriage à-la-mode?

  93. 93
    old SHEP says:

    Bless you my scum.

  94. 94
    Living in 96.99% white Merseyside says:

    She’s a fellow smoker!

  95. 95
    Tiny Tom says:

    Speakers wife! What a disgraceful Tart

  96. 96
    old SHEP says:

    I wouldn’t want to go anywhere near Sallies crack-pipe.

  97. 97
    of the common people says:

    Why is Sally trending?

  98. 98
    personalised plate says:

    C11NT 1 4M

  99. 99
    of the common people says:

    Why is Sally trending?

  100. 100
    The Turd Way doesn't work either says:

    Thе оrіgіnаl rеvіеw ѕаіd 5/10. Thіѕ pоѕtеr іѕ unѕurprіѕіngly а cоpy pаѕtа mеrchаnt whо pаyѕ оnе prіcе аnd chаrgеѕ tо еxpеnѕеѕ іtѕ dоublе.

  101. 101
    The Turd Way doesn't work either says:

    T hе оrіgіnаl rеvіеw ѕаіd 5/10. T hіѕ pоѕtеr іѕ unѕurprіѕ іngly а cоpypаѕtа mеrchаnt whо pаyѕ оnе prycе аnd chаrgеѕ tо еxpеnѕеѕ іtѕ dоublе.

  102. 102
    did Cameron pay for that coffee machine in his office says:

    Marvellous advert for the glorious institution of marriage !

  103. 103
    maggie the dog says:


  104. 104
    Two fat ugly fuds and their ugly brat fae Edinburgh. says:

    Sally Bercow is getting more chavie.

  105. 105
    Big Momma says:

    A report this morning states that there are some people feeding foxes IN THEIR HOMES. Unbelievable what some people do.
    But can you trust the BBC?

  106. 106
    Anonymous says:

    what is the lady’s religion. cause what we do define who we are. so no matter what the hypocritic/in denial folks say actions are it.
    for fox knows it is the fox. ah yes, the simple virtuous existence in the fox world, fox tv world….murdoch wants to own the sun in the sky and he cannot be outfoxed.
    …Respect the new immortals.

    all bow before the new immortals…they

  107. 107
  108. 108
    Catty Comment (Ms) says:

    …with a firm hand, of course

  109. 109
    Igor Onlywunball says:

    Hey Rupe, dingo breath, the leprechaun folk are not pommy’s. What’s that sign? Oh yes XXXX

  110. 110
    Curly says:

    Dogflap then?

  111. 111
    Curly says:

    Oh no! Is Sally also a blasted Pilgrim? I think we should be told.

  112. 112
    Curly says:

    Agree 100%. Shut the damn borders to all meat imports right now until this is all sorted out properly. Farmers can also stuff Europe by reopening their own local abattoirs. What happened to the old British phlegm? (Cough)

  113. 113
    Curly says:

    Don’t be so Grumpy, make her Happy (but don’t breathe a word about it to Snow White.

  114. 114
    Curly says:

    … and resign from his post and bugger off out of our lives? What a good idea.

  115. 115
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    Duke D’Mond RIP

  116. 116
    Curly says:

    Or the ones that say “Way In” and “Way Out”

  117. 117
    Curly says:

    and Parliament too…

  118. 118
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    Whatever I personally think of Mr Bercow (and it isn’t much) I believe the Office of Speaker deserves respect.

    Bercow’s position and authority is continually undermined by his bloody awful wife and he should, in my opinion, either sort out his relationship or resign.

    Just how far has the Commons fallen in ethics and behaviour to allow this spiv with his tuppeny tart to be Speaker?

    We’ve gone from giants like George Thomas and Betty Boothroyd to minows and shysters like Michael Martin and Bercow, all within a generation.

    Not much hope is there?

  119. 119
    Postal Votes are Labour Loo Paper says:

    She really is a most revolting specimen. Sums up GB today- totally fucked.

  120. 120
    Uncle Guido (to camera) says:

    If massa Murdoch says I’s a pommy bastard, then I sho’ is is, yessuh!

  121. 121
    VERITAS says:

    Sally Bercow is beyond parody,she would give a chav a bad name.Bercnut must have been desperate to marry out of the faith so to speak and end up with ths trash

  122. 122
    former-telly-owner says:

    Hunta-Geedo thinks his massa is a ma’am?

  123. 123
    damned impertinent questions says:

    Well at least shes got her legs together and tits covered this time

  124. 124
    Mr McGoo says:

    She’s both. Two pix, you member of the visually impaired community tvat

  125. 125
    Norman Brand-exPA says:

    As a former member, in the 1980s, of the Houses of Parliament Sports and Social Club, when its rooms – I think they’ve been moved – had a river view, not far from Chancellor’s Gate in the Lords, I’m glad that the membership is clearly still inclusive, even comprehensive… I still have the club tie, though I’ve never worn it – would not wish to show off – and once I declared that if I were listed in ‘Who’s Who’ I would name the Club as mine. Policeman, peers and pasties, and Doorkeepers with awe- inspiring war records, as well as the excellent beer: those are what I remember, from 1991. I remember eminent broadcasters with cigarettes and Guinness, and the occasional peer and MP, and kitchen staff and Custodians, and the full-size billiard table (I think they removed that eventually). Well, I suppose that’s enough nostalgia. And thank you, Terry and May, for making that place a wonderful and welcoming hostelry. Perhaps, from what I have read in the post above, some of the village life is left. I hope some of its humanity permeates to our legislators, but I’m not sure any more.

  126. 126
    paulypilot says:

    She’s not “slumped in an alleyway”, she’s just outside a pub having a ciggie.
    What’s the problem?

  127. 127
    Nonny Mouse says:

    Did she have one from an erstwhile Cabinet Minister?

  128. 128
    Nonny Mouse says:

    When Bercow retires they’ll have to present him with a Cuckold-Clock! I know people refer to him as one of the 7 dwarves but I think of him more as a Goldilocks constantly having to eat other peoples’ porridge out of his wife’s ‘bowl’.

  129. 129
    VulgarDisplayOfPower says:

    ‘Tis pity she’s a whore.

  130. 130
    VulgarDisplayOfPower says:

    “last orders, last orders”

  131. 131
    Gracie Fields says:

    Sally in our alley,’Tory boys or toy boys’….Is there a difference?

  132. 132
    Great Granddad:Prime Minister in Waiting, New Utopia Party says:

    Yes – but not tobacco, so that’s alright then.

  133. 133
    Great Granddad:Prime Minister in Waiting, New Utopia Party says:

    Why are people so very rude about the Westminster village bicycle?

  134. 134
    Enemy Of The State says:

    Leather trousers? EWE………. The Smoker You Drink The Player You Get!

  135. 135
    FLETCH says:

    you may be old, you may be a tory, and you may be a bigot,
    but, most importantly ……

  136. 136
    BagLady says:

    No, she’s in the alley with the cats.

  137. 137
    BagLady says:

    … where I used to sit. Come on old prissies. Have you really never gone out without the spouse with your mates and got pissed? Was it Friday? Well there you go then. Poets’ Night.

  138. 138
    Graham says:

    Probably the Household Cavalry.

  139. 139
    Care for the needy says:

    It’s not as if you can be judged by marriage in politics, plenty of MPs have wives who do much worse and actually sleep around all the time. At least she has a rather salutary other half, (good for her) who just about keeps everyone in check, like parliament, it is that hardihood and strength he has to bear her quirkiness that makes him a good speaker. As they don’t like being kicked they’ll probably sack him though.

  140. 140
    Lefty moose says:

    Some glowin young men are gigolos with no money and vote labour/green/lib dems. Them with day-jobs tend to be tory boys but you can whip that out of them hehe. when you tell em how much more money they can have and a house of full kids and a soup kitchen set-up, to milk the state for what it’s werth.

  141. 141
    Prof. International Human Rights Law says:

    Yes because you do “only live once” which means the world can be better or worse after your being it it, you can be remember for millenia many even for a million years for your good/invention. Or you can fade into oblivion. I think my money is on the latter for embarassments. She can still redeem herself by actually getting a job again. (and I dont mean stripper)

  142. 142
    Prof. International Human Rights Law says:

    You can be sued under the Slander of Women Act 1891. That’s far from the truth. If by whore you imply a different sense however that she is likely to stray then that is conceivable though not yet proven, perhaps a divorce would be the best outcome for both?

Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,717 other followers