February 11th, 2013

Rich’s Monday Morning View


  1. 1
    Lord bumwatch says:

    All this is knackering!


    • 8
      Just Another Zek says:

      Never mind that another state regulatory system is proved to be of f_ck all use except for paying fat salaries to a bunch of rissoles! Just rejoice in the freedom of manly love to be expressed in matrimony! Don’t forget we gave you this freedom come GE day 2015.


      • 34
        Anonymous says:

        There are more failures to emerge. Some have paid the ultimate price because of the ignorance of those that are paid to protect us.

        Best example is when the government asked the regulator if everything was OK. They confirmed everything was fine. However, it was asked of the same regulator that was the cause of the failure, and the staff had admitted that they had no idea about the regulations. It will all emerge fully as the public excepts that they have no protection.


        • 45
          Cut-me-own-throat Dibbler says:

          Wot’s wrong wi a bit o orse?


          • Taxfodder says:

            nothing providing its called horse and not beef, and priced accordingly…


          • A right royal f*ck up says:

            .. and not full of drugs that are harmful to people.

            .. and mixed in with other Romanian ‘filler’ – ie bits of badger, fox, dog, roadkill such as that.


          • Findus a Tesco says:

            Nothing providing it’s all blended with artificial colours and flavours.


        • 53
          Phil says:

          Guess whose guidelines the regulatory bodies have been following for the past decade. Rich would have been more accurate by pinning a red rosette to that lasagne.
          My advice to Cameron is scrap every fxxxing quango left by the last lot and start again.


          • T'Old Fella says:

            One little problem there, would Big Dave know where to start ?


          • One-term Dave, dragging the Tories to their grave, says:

            Oh gosh! I’m far too busy busy busy! Busy giving your money to Iceland and India! Busy spending £2billion on windfarms in Africa! Busy busy busy legalising gay marriage! Busy busy busy giving £53million to the EU every day (soon to go up by half a billion pounds a year – terrific negotiating on my part, eh, what what!) Busy borrowing £33billion and wasting it on a rubbish railway no one wants or needs! Busy planning for the arrival of 400,000 Romanian parasites next year (EU membership is so vital to our country, what what!) Busy destroying the armed forces, busy breaking every promise I ever made! Busy doubling Britain’s debt.

            Far too busy to run the country properly, I can tell you!

            Tally ho!


          • ReefKnot says:

            What, you mean by starting a ….. bonfire ? What a splendid idea. We could get that Pickles chap to manage it. Let’s put it in our Manifesto for the next election !


        • 116
          T'Old Fella says:

          We we have been down this food sourcing problem before, anyone remember mad cow disease, by the way what has happened to that?


      • 142
        JabbaTheCat says:

        First and foremost, this is a failure of the EUSSR regulatory system…


    • 10
      Erskine May says:

      Hypocrisy and canter.


    • 13
      Joss Taskin says:

      Isn’t that Andrew Lansley ?


    • 47
      Joyce Thacker says:

      And the NHS mass killings are quietly forgotten . Burnham/heydrich wrote an article in the guardian yesterday saying something and nothing – I never got to the end but assume ‘lessons must be learned ‘


    • 64
      ho hum says:

      Food Standards Agency cost more than £160,000,000 and there is horse in my crispy pancakes – what the fuck is going on

      Some fucker somewhere needs to take some responsibility

      Fat fucker Stephen Hester is getting a multi million pound bonus for fucking things up – I am in some parallel universe


      • 78
        Alex Salmond says:

        Fucking Supine Agency I and II – fucked up the Banks and Food Standards.

        Quality Care Commission – fucked over over Stafford Hospital and was headed by Hunt who was at Stafford Hospital Trust.


        • 122
          T'Old Fella says:

          Never mind Alex, you will be able to do it yourself and do everything right in your independent country, Scotchland.


      • 123
        Fed up taxpayer says:

        Whose in charge at the Food Standards Agency another Liebour waste of space Lord most high Baron Rooker says it all.


  2. 2
    genghiz the kahn says:

    May the horse be with you.


  3. 3
    Saddle sores says:

    Neugh. Neigh. Thiuce neigh.


  4. 4
    Damned Impertinent Questions says:

    Nice to see you still pandering to the lowest comm,on denominator. Ah well. Beats having to think dunnit


  5. 5
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    My kingdom for a horse burger.


  6. 6
    Francis Laine says:

    Champion !


  7. 11
    Raving Loon says:

    Should they call it “Beef” lasagne from now on?


    • 76
      Anonymous says:

      in the world of trouble and strife the gentle cow of times past has lost its sanctity.
      snakes everwhere but fear not…feed the Cobra the milk of duty for then he purrs. In our ethics free world, this works.
      God bless. the sun god..who is worshipped on monday but not according to the black is white language that is english by design.
      all communication works on the visible mind and the invisible mind of the subconscious our vibrational self. when one is pure and the other impure the impure wins out as it operates deeper.
      know thy subconscious self and how it gets used…every day and every minute. The might who run the world have the ancient technology…get this science of the self before it disappears from the global consciousness…step by step….grain of sand at a time.
      . Have a lovely week.


  8. 15
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    That ‘cartoon’ is absolute pony.


  9. 18
    Fluffy Thoughts says:

    Why no whitty [sic] remark about the failure of EU-regulation of the meat industry…?



    Dick-and-Mark’s attempt at satire….


  10. 20
    Hugh Janus says:

    Why the long face Paterson? (or Lansley)


    • 158
      T'Old Fella says:

      Leave him Hugh, he is all tucked up in bed with his teddy bear sound asleep unaware of anything amiss, if is asleep it cannot be his fault


  11. 22
    Martin Day says:

    If only this was a caption contest.

    He could well be saying”That other Owen,Owen Jones was in bed with me a moment ago,where the heck is he?”


  12. 24
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    What The Fuck ?


    • 33
      Erskine May says:

      Good morning, sir. I trust you are well today.

      Just as one has to change one’s underclothes once a day, I am having to change my identity with the same frequency. Not a sombrero day here I regret…


      • 103
        MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

        Good morning sir
        i see that Broadmoor has released the fucking stalking nutcase again


      • 106
        MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

        it’s certainly “little acorn” weather here too


        • 157
          The Third Way doesn't work either says:

          It occurs to me that from little acorns mighty oak trees grow. Trouble is it takes a hell of a while and your Emily, or whatever, has buggered off by then…


  13. 27
    Paniagua says:

    I would recommend that Rich should not give up his day job.


  14. 30
    Statements of Fact says:

    This horsemeat scandal bollux is a really useful distraction from Dave’s economic failures and gay marriage fiasco.

    It’s all a lot of Government and media hype. The public should realise that people have eaten horse for centuries. It’s a lot better than all the colourings, flavourings, and other shit that’s in processed food.

    The greedy obese fuckers want this cheap crap food so that they can spend more of their bennies on fags, lager, dispoasable sofas and telly subscrips.


    • 32
      Ed Miliband (Prime Minister designate) says:

      Hear ! Hear !


      • 51
        Gordon's brown eye says:

        It was better when Ed M took his inspiration from Wallace and Gromit and not that Daisy Cameron and that todger Cleggito


    • 36
      Fraudsters Need Apologists Like You says:

      People who eat horse knowing it to be horse should be free to do so. People should not be free to sell horse, espcially uninspected horse, and claim it is beef.

      Still, you are entitled to your view. Why not come round to my restaurant and have a glass or two of Morrocan Chateau Margaux to go with this excellent Macedonian stilton?


    • 44
      Anonymous says:

      Look at how far this meat traveled. It probably exceeded the consumers holiday travel distance.

      It is again an issue of trading. The product is not important anymore. As long as they can do the deals and move it from company to company they are OK. The more it is moved the less likely anyone will ever track its origin. Each company in the chain could have conceivable “watered” down the product. I just wonder what else was in it?

      Does sound somewhat familiar to the toxic debt trading. After so many owners no one knew what it really was. But at any time, any one of the companies could have tested the product.

      In the end both were unloaded onto the public, once past their useful trading life.


      • 66
        Synic says:

        Support the British farming industry which has to operate to higher standards.

        Don’t buy this cheap foreign crap, with all it’s associated travel pollution costs.


        • 120
          Joyce Thacker says:

          It’s hard to know what is British . Don’t they label it so if it was packaged here ?


          • Hand the Cat says:

            If the item is sent to the UK and then packaged in the UK they can say produced in the uk. Not the same but if a company produces engines for example and they are sent to India, a feeder vessell takes them to Rotterdam they are then shipped on to India. That is called as export to the EU


    • 62
      Taxfodder says:

      Fine then call it horse, and price it accordingly…


    • 65
      Nogbad the Bad says:

      That it’s horse is not the problem. Horses are medicated with all kinds of chemicals that cattle and sheep are not. Mares are given hormones to stop them coming into season so they can race, colts are given other hormones to stop them trying to mate with said mares while racing. Older horses are given pain killers so they can carry on working/racing. One type of painkiller, known as bute, causes loss of bone density in humans.
      Also mares urine is harvested for the production of HRT for women of a certain age. It would come as no surprise that the mares were medicated to produce as much hormone as possible.
      If you want safe meat, look for the “red tractor” logo, or buy it from a butcher you trust.


      • 69
        Camoron Cnut says:

        Good-o. The story is running and running. My continuing fuck-ups are below the radar.

        Toodle Pippa


        • 164
          T'Old Fella says:

          You have 21/4 years Dave to do something significant, as time goes by apart from the financial troubles, which are on going, the Bliar/Brown era is receeding in folks memories and folks tend to compare how they were then to how they are now. So fingers out less spin more action.


      • 156
        Anonymous says:

        No horse can run in the UK with bute in its system.


      • 176
        Trust Me Dave says:

        The Government says there is no risk to human health.

        The horsemeat is perfectly safe.


    • 160
      Tato says:

      “This horsemeat scandal bollux is a really useful distraction from Dave’s economic failures and gay marriage fiasco.”
      Well spotted, it’s called “mass control”, things they used to do in old USSR.


  15. 31
    Owin Jones says:

    The disappearance of £8 million payment promised to support sacked #Remploy workers… http://bit.ly/XBfYxF


    • 41
      Paniagua says:

      That is the first time I have seen an article in the Morning Star that contains the word Pot without Pol and hero


  16. 37
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Owen Paterson who fucked off home for the weekend and had to be dragged back to Westminster
    just to tell food retailers to “Test your own products”So we have a highly paid FSA that don’t test and have never tested meat to see what is in it , except bacterior , and a goverment minister who didn’t think it was serious enough to interupt his weekend and a lying government who put out a statement saying he was in London holding meetings and was “on top of it” I don’t know who he was on top of but he was not in London he was at home


  17. 46
    M. Ollond says:

    Just think of us poor French – all our horse meat is contaminated with ze rosbif


    • 49
      Cwis Bwiant says:

      What about me the pork sword I had this weekend wasn’t 100% sword


    • 85
      MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

      Disgusting , horsemeat in burgers what is the world coming to /
      in future i will stick with only traditional French food like
      Snails , frogs legs door mice , sparrows and cow brains and hideously infected deformed Goose livers

      Bon appetit

      give me horse meat anyday !


      • 91
        Back in the EUSSR says:

        Eat my cock Frankie you cuпt! The whole point is that the whole public service charade is deceiving the public in their usual despicable, underhand ways.


      • 118
        Mr Slater says:

        If you tolerate this, then your Psittacenes could be next! Squawky á la orange premium gourmand range – no thank you!


        • 143
          The Third Way doesn't work either says:

          І hаd bееn wоrrіеd thаt yоur Pѕіttасоіdеаn frіеnd hаd fоund іtѕ wаy оntо ѕоmеоnе’ѕ dіnіng tаblе…


  18. 48
    How gullible are the British public? says:

    We thought we’d test the idea of compulsory Halal meat on you first and you seemed ok with that so we took it a stage further thats all.


    • 54
      The Pantry says:

      The big joke is that probably very little of the food marked halal probably is.


    • 61
      albacore says:

      About all that Paterson can manage to bleat
      Is the E U won’t let us ban imported meat
      Sod ill effects on the British population
      Ne’er mind, at the current rate of immigration
      There’ll be more beef in iffy imported horsemeat
      Than British left in Blighty to gorge on the treat


      • 74
        Back in the EUSSR says:

        If you had any doubts we’re not in charge of our own destiny, I think this answers that one.


  19. 52
    • 162
      Anonymous says:

      I don’t know if it’s still true today but a couple of years back I remember reading that in India there were an acceptable number of rat droppings (~50) allowed in each bag of rice/grain.


      • 170
        Curly says:

        .. and in China, industrial melamine in children’s milk powder. Happily the perps got caught and came to a very rapid and sticky end – an example we might do well to follow in Britain.


  20. 57
    Owen Jones (Guest Moderator) says:

    Prime Minister David Cameron’s comment regarding same sex marriage is under review.

    His comment is littered with expletives.


  21. 58
    Minister for Bullshit says:

    I assure that the food in this country is safe. We have no idea what’s in it but it’s safe. Well it might be full of dog meat, powdered glass and anthrax, but it is safe.

    Look to prove it’s safe I willl feed it to Selwyn Gummer. You cant say fairer than that!


    • 70
      The Public says:

      Dear Minister for Bullshit,

      It was great to see you having your big moment on telly. I bet everyone who has ever heard of you was very proud. I don’t expect we will hear from you again, so I’d just like to say what a marvellous thing it is to see someone reach the pinacle of their career. The Job Centre is that way.

      The Public


    • 77
      Yvonne from The Colliers Arms Clydach says:

      That Owen Patterson character is not up to the job I tell you .

      Bring back that Liam Fox .

      At least he is a doctor.


  22. 67
    I'm new here. says:

    Is there horse in Fox’s glacier mints? Besides the fox content,I mean….


  23. 83
    Diane Abbott says:

    Is there any sugar in those Lasagnes ?


  24. 87
    John Gummer says:

    Did someone mention cheeseburgers?


  25. 89
    Owin Jones says:

    As the Conservative cookie crumbles http://bit.ly/11veE63


  26. 90
    Frederick says:

    From the Grauniad (so you do not have to go there)

    A tale reaches Monkey about disgraced former cabinet minister Chris Huhne’s journalism years. When Huhne was on a traineeship at the Liverpool Daily Echo, he was told by no-nonsense news editor Alan Hudson to go to Birkenhead to talk to a man who had found something at the bottom of his garden. Huhne replied: “Don’t you know I’ve got a starred First from Oxford in PPE?” Hudson looked at him, then, deliberately mishearing, asked for quiet in the newsroom and announced: “This new fellow has just told me he’s got a First from Oxford in PE … so he’s going to do 20 press-us to show us what he can do.” Wearing a heavy suit, Huhne reluctantly dropped to the floor. Struggling for breath, he stopped at six. And then went to Birkenhead. Presumably driving at a sensible speed.


  27. 94
    Chopper 'arris says:

    I thought Alan Hudson used to play for Chelsea!


  28. 97
    SPaD U Like says:

    We are issuing an emergency notification.

    Many of our SPaDs that have been tested have been found to contain traces of Minister


  29. 112
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Processed meals may contain traces of meat !


  30. 115
    Sally Bercow says:

    I thought I’d bought a cucumber yesterday…turned out to be a horse’s cock!


  31. 128
    Is he sleeping with the fishes? says:

    What happened to Mark?


  32. 132
    Stan says:

    You can lead a horse to water but a pencil must be lead.


  33. 133
    Findus Advert says:


  34. 148
    Butchers Block says:

    She was only the speakers wife but she could lay on the slab and say fillet.


  35. 149
    The Third Way doesn't work either says:

    Ah! That’s better


  36. 161
    Says says:

    Ted Kennedy?


  37. 169

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,645 other followers