February 11th, 2013

Boris Out-Foxed on Baby Biting

Boris has reacted to the Bromley baby attack by a fox quickly and without bluster:

“They may appear cuddly and romantic, but foxes are also a pest and a menace, particularly in our cities. This must serve as a wake-up call to London’s borough leaders, who are responsible for pest control. They must come together, study the data, try to understand why this is becoming such a problem and act quickly to sort it out.”

However that was not what the Mayor was saying exactly a week ago in his Telegraph column:

“My instinct tells me that foxes are everywhere, and that they are more numerous and bolder than ever before. But the deeper I dug into fox-on-cat violence, the more doubtful I became. Foxes go for vulnerable critters. They might go for your toes if you were lying in a stupor, but only because they failed to grasp that your toes were attached to a large and potentially violent human being. They might go (once in a blue moon) for a baby, but only because a baby is defenceless.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I lay the facts of the case before you, and I suggest that the evidence against the fox is by no means conclusive. I am left with the mystery of that first eruption of rage, that chilling certainty as to the authors of the crime. There is a word for that misapprehension. There was something that made me finger the newcomers, the strangers, the ones who weren’t around when I was a kid. There was something that made me want to believe that the culprits were the recent additions to our urban habitat, the ones who make the spooky yowling at night. I think the word for that anti-fox feeling is prejudice. Or am I wrong?”

Ouch. Guess it’s a blue moon…


  1. 1
    Liarpoliticians says:

    Urban foxes do the job out lazy incompetent councils do not do – that is, pest control. Bozo Johnson can get stuffed. I prefer the foxes running around locally than the rats.



    • 4
      V1le Labour ruined my Country says:

      Don’t achieve be a northern sponger and get everything for free.


    • 6
      Spartacus says:

      foxx bites baby – that’s what you get when you vote against fox hunting


      • 39
        Cynical-old-bag says:

        If the fox had bitten a relative of an MP, something would be done – and quickly.
        The rest of us have to be thankful for the crumbs the MP’s throw us.


    • 18
      Anonymous says:

      Bojo’s column was using the fox as a metaphor in another of his pro immigration propaganda pieces.

      Bojo’s a fool, a learned fool but a fool nonetheless.


      • 78
        Con Artists says:

        Exactly right, Boris is a cheating unfaithful bully boy fool who also happens to be posh, Turkish and pro immigration and everything EU.

        His article was pro immigration propaganda and should be revealed for what it is.


    • 42
      Sir William Wade says:

      Politician -v- fox: the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable (as dear Oscar remarked).


    • 114
      Dougie says:

      AFAICS Boris is precisely correct. I can remember only two reported cases in recent years of a baby being attacked by a fox, i.e. once in a blue moon. Equally, there is no evidence that I’m aware of of foxes attacking cats, which is the thrust of Boris’s article.


  2. 2
    Paniagua says:

    Why use one word when twenty will suffice. Waffling buffoon


  3. 3
    Nick Clegg says:

    Lib Dems pushing for an AV referendum in the Vatican.


  4. 10
    Just Another Zek says:

    What a f_cking twat. Just another bloated politician with f_ck all to say


  5. 11
    BoJo says:

    Fox off.


    • 59
      Anarchists In Blazers says:

      They should put them in frozen Lasagna, maybe even give us a fox and hound variety. They’re already doing it with mints. I get paid by the EU to write this sh it.


  6. 12
    Hand the Cat says:

    “They may appear cuddly and romantic, but foxes/MP’s are also a pest and a menace, particularly in our cities.”


  7. 13
    Paniagua says:

    At least you know where you are with a Fox. Unlike a politician.


  8. 14
    fan says:

    meaningless drivel

    what is important is the pope resigning to become the new chelsea manager


  9. 15
    The Third Way doesn't work either says:

    Hold on. What happens if it is a gay fox?

    Can’t be nasty to him then, can you?


  10. 16
    Nonces r Them says:

    Nazi p*do protecting pope quits!


  11. 17
    The Stilton Eater says:

    Proof someone ghost writes all this guff.


  12. 19
  13. 20
    Bugler Bert says:

    At least he has the guts to ssay it is time to go – as the spirit is willing but the body is past it……….. that is something for the Beast of Bolsover to think about – if his brain is not too rotted.


  14. 21
    Reynard the foxy one says:

    You call us Vermin and Pests and you call for a cull, Then answer me this, You call your MP’s Vermin and Pests. Yet no call for a cull of the HoC.


    • 96
      Igor Onlywunball says:

      There was a call for a cull of the HoC but they voted against it last week. It was cunningly disguised as a boundary revision in the hope that none of them would be able to see through it. Have to try something a bit different next time (like the use of high explosives in the cellar).


  15. 22
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    It’s all down to Walt Disney. He’s the one who made everyone think animals were “cute.” A fox ain’t nuthin’ but a feral dog with a better coat; can’t really tame ‘em, don’t want ‘em anywhere near your food stores, nasty mean when they’re starving, not very friendly when they’re not. Animals are animals, folks, that’s why they behave as they do. It’s ALL clever editing on the telly when they seem to be doing something “anthropomorphic.” It just might be we have enough similar behaviours based on, for lack of a better word, “instinct,” why we and they might share some traits.

    Just remember the frog and the scorpion: “You knew what I was capable of.”


    • 36
      Anonymous says:

      who did d.is.knee work for.

      he for sure inverted the fundamental of human technology by subverting the truth about

      pinnichio nose has subverted the power of the sacred om.

      clearly black is white folks have ambitions beyond imagination. all truth in plain site.
      in the beginning was the sound and it….as said above. the longer the o sound the more grounded and protected one becomes…and the more visible reality is . all else is an illusion created by the workers of the sub.conscious.

      The reality is so simple even a child will grasp it…when taught correctly.


    • 56
      Anonymous says:

      scorpion always has a score to settle..they just cannot help it….scorpio sun sign is just that …they want every ounce of you. when did the i.z.z.a.r.d become his mate.
      they must have a weakness for my.mate. marmite produces the opposite vibrational result …. it is part vibrational as mar produces the vibrational/emotional force we feel when we are physical beeaten harshly and mite..might is perceived by another part of the brain.

      is marmite a product of the half human half animal kingdom. we are all god’s creation..even the score.pion for ultimately he also gets that illness of the mind such as a stroke…no doubt the gods on earth have a solution but not much that appears to be real is that.


  16. 23
    honesty in not the best policy says:

    Fkin city dwellers know everything about nothing, then they bring laws out to save our cuddly foxes and forget foxes are wild animals and they quickly breed and will go and hunt for food to live, the dwellers get upset when the cuddly little animal does something wrong when it’s out looking for food, it has to compete for everything just like were going to experience with the millions of Romanians next year with over crowding, health, life, but not jobs.


  17. 24
    Catholic priests around the world says:

    Who will cover up our child r*ping crimes now??!!!!


  18. 26
    Raving Loon says:

    We happily kill rates as vermin and pests in their thousands, but as soon as we mention “fox” we have to act like they’re sacred cows (at the risk of possibly mixing my metaphors).

    Fox are vermin, large rats if you will. A cull is too far perhaps, but if they’re on your land then shoot them.


  19. 28
    Who'd have thought says:

    I presume the Vatican already phoned up Pope Benedict’s successor and asked him to be ready, Pope Tony Bliar, doesn’t really scan, save us a fortune on security if they were daft enough .


  20. 29
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    Round here, it is the deer that cause a problem. Lovely fluffy darling animals they are too, especially coming through your windscreen at 30 mph.


  21. 30
    Pope Rat-zinger says:

    I’m stepping down so I can spend more time with my Nazi Youth memorabilia.


  22. 31
    Peter Bone says:

    Wow. We could be getting a black Pope. And you thought gay marriage was a trip…


  23. 32
    Fox Watch says:

    People should be aware that anti-freeze is extremely dangerous to foxes, and other wildlife.

    Anti-freeze, which contains ethylene glycol, which has a very sweet aroma and taste, and is extremely appealing to foxes, dogs and cats.

    If ingested it will usually kill, fairly slowly but definitely.

    This is why spills should be cleaned up diligently if they occur.

    Anti-freeze should not be used as a solution of dealing with urban fox problems as it is illegal and can harm pets.


  24. 33
    Guido Fawkes says:

    Face it – I look good in hats. I wave really well and I could drive the heck out of the Popemobile.


  25. 34
    • 47
      Who'd have thought says:

      If that did happen then the LibLabCon fluffy triangle will be scared the sh*tless, they would scared to death losing all their troughing rites and have to work for what they get paid to do, it will be a nasty vicious fight with some very nasty words thrown about if it looks as if UKIP is going to win, must go out and buy some popcorn and a few beers for that one.


  26. 35
    The Third Way doesn't work either says:

    I am Papabile.

    Well a bit.


  27. 37
    Pryce Defense says:

    ** Sobs **
    And then he held a fox to my head and told me to sign…
    ** Sobs **


  28. 38
    Alan Rusbridger, pianist says:

    Today I will be mostly playing excerpts from The Cunning Little Vixen by Janacek.


  29. 40
    Andy Burnham says:

    I deny the allegation that I fed the body parts of culled patients to foxes in order to help boost the population.

    Just because they are read, does not mean they vote Labour.

    Look at our record on Squirrels !


  30. 43
    Just Asking says:

    Why is this country stuffed to the gills with absolutely useless quangos like the Food Standards Agency, staffed by hugely-paid nonentities? And whenever they are asked why they are so useless at doing their jobs, they always blame “cutbacks”.


    • 54
      Labourunionsbbc we are one under the EU says:

      Big state, gettingt biger all the time. Sorry, correction 2 big state’s getting bigger all the time. (forget the EU)


      • 106
        Igor Onlywunball says:

        They all merely serve the purpose of separating the Minister from his proper responsibilities.


  31. 45
    Liam Fox says:


  32. 46
    Tachybaptus says:

    According to the prophecy of St Malachy, the next pope will be the last one. The chronicle ends:

    Benedict XVI: Gloria oliuæ.
    Glory of the olive. (Ratzinger’s order has an olive branch in its coat of arms.)

    Next and last pope: In perſecutione extrema S.R.E. [= Sanctae Romanae Ecclesiae] ſedebit / Petrus Romanus, qui paſcet oues in multis tribulationibus: quibus tranſactis ciuitas ſepticollis diruetur, & Iudex tremẽdus iudicabit populum ſuum. Finis.
    In the extreme persecution of the Holy Roman Church, there will sit / Peter the Roman, who will nourish the sheep in many tribulations; when they are finished, the city of seven hills will be destroyed, and the dreadful Judge will judge his people. The end.

    (There is some dispute about whether this last entry is one or two items, because it is divided into two paragraphs where I have put the / above.)


  33. 50
    Vicarious joe. says:

    So we now have a new big distraction to keep the stupid obsessed, this will rumble on into the Pope’s election, ohhhhh, how interesting that will be, I just can’t wait.

    I can’t think of anything more important right now *thinks* nope, foxes are the most important thing, because no children are ever injured in any other way at all, not by cars – so we don’t need to ban them – not by toys – so we donneed to ban them – not by anything.

    I’m going to watch how this very important thing devlope 24/7 on all the media I can lay my hands on.


  34. 51
    Lucian says:

    Since hounds have more sensitive noses than foxes, the problem can be solved by summon the Quorn to Bromley for a baby cull, thus stripping the foxes of their prey.


  35. 55
    Pope Rat-zinger says:

    To nonce or not to nonce, that is the commandment.


  36. 58
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    Just what is keeping Burnham and Johnson from resigning. Labour need to take a lead, and show some morals.
    Cameron cannot keep apologising for labour’s errors. Come on Miliband show the one nation of yours what you really stand for. Sack Burnham and Johnson


  37. 60
    Jimmy's Rightie Quote Of The Day says:

    “One day I didn’t have enough money when I came to the ATM to pay for £1.80 parking here”

    Maria Hutchings. Tory candidate in Eastleigh, knows the real meaning of poverty.


    • 112
      2112 says:

      As a schoolboy Ed Miliband was once asked to write an essay on poverty:
      “The mother was poor, the father was poor and even tha butler was poor.”


  38. 61
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    Pope Blair of Liar.
    What do you think?


  39. 65
    keredybretsa says:

    Foxes are smart vermin. They don’t stop and say ‘look at those cute sweet human beings’. Instead they take over on the rubbish clearing front. Some misinformed people may well put out food to encourage them into their gardens which are soon turned into fox toilets! Strange that they are treated with more regard than rats.


  40. 68
    The Third Way doesn't work either says:

    Georg Ratzinger said his brother was having increasing difficulty walking and that his resignation was part of a “natural process.”

    “His age is weighing on him,” the 89-year-old said of his 85-year-old brother. “At this age my brother wants more rest.”


  41. 71
    Owin Jones says:

    Thank God the Pope resigned during Murnaghan. Thought of Kay Burley grappling with nuances and subtleties of Canon Law ain’t a good one.


    • 74
      Is Kay a Left Footer? says:

      Yes but Kay is a zillion times more intelligent than the lefty luvvies that the BBC employ BBC contract to read their news.


  42. 73




  43. 79
    Jimmy Hendrix says:

    Foxy Lady.


  44. 83
    Col Nut says:

    Boris may appear cuddly and romantic but he is also a pest and a menace, particularly in our city.


  45. 86
    HenryV says:

    One fox bites one child’s toe. How many children today are going to die on the roads? How many children are going to die or continue to suffer because of neglect?

    The West will fall because it ignores the big problems that are with us day after day and only concentrate on the sensational. And then only for a second before we are distracted by the next thing.


  46. 113
    Old Grumpy says:

    The problem with all these pronouncements about Urban Foxes, in fact ANY Fox, is that most haven’t a clue what they’re talking about!………. Bluddy Townees!……..

    Like any wild animal, they will not go where they do not feel safe………. so that’s the first rule!……….. Don’t bloody feed ‘em and that means not dropping Big Macs on the pavement!………

    Make them unwelcome in your gardens!……. Movement activated beepers and shiny metal strips hung on hedges and fences are normally sufficient……… and, if confronted, run at ‘em screaming and waving your arms!……… humane enough and effective!

    They come into houses because idiots like C. Packham feed the bloody things!……. So what do people expect?……… Make feeding foxes a CRIMINAL OFFENCE!!!!!!!!!!……..

    They’ll soon bugger off……..

    The Germans have been chasing them out of cities and towns for years (No. 1 rabies carriers you see!). They seldom see a fox in urban environments and whent they do they call out the Polizei, Fire Brigade, Nanny McGee and all!……… and send ‘em back to some remote forest!

    We should try that here!


  47. 115
    Clueless In Gaza says:

    We’re not allowed to hunt the blighters so let the smartasses in the gnome office sort it out!


  48. 118
    Kinder Egg Toy Builder says:

    Looks like Boris is at it again (from Tom Winnifrith) http://tinyurl.com/aaunggz


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