February 6th, 2013

First Class Offenders

Expenses rules state that MPs can only travel in first in the unlikely event that it is cheaper than a standard fare. That hasn’t stopped three legroom-loving MPs from bending the rules, however. Energy minister John Hayes made the journey from his Lincolnshire constituency to Westminster in first 28 out of the last 30 times, costing the taxpayer on average over £60 a pop. Standard tickets are usually as cheap as £19 if they are booked in advance or £37.50 if you turn up on the day.  He’s not alone…

Former Labour Home Secretary Alan Johnson has a 100% record, travelling from Hull in first class 19 times out of 19. He billed us almost £100-a-journey on average, three times what you can pay with a week’s notice. And as for Leeds MP Fabian Hamilton? 29 of his 30 train journeys were in first at £72 a go, as much as double the standard fare.

A well-placed parliamentary source explained to Guido how greedy MPs cheat the system by seeking out the few journeys where buying a first class ticket technically doesn’t break the rules. It’s Great Train Snobbery, pure and simple…


  1. 1
    Great British Public says:

    Time to storm St. Stephen’s !!


    • 11
      Elizabeth says:

      Hey that’s mine.


      • 48
        cripple452 says:


        1. spit On ALL first Classless Seats.
        2. sit In Toilet.
        3. when Inspectors Gather Outside Door Make Dying Noises.
        4. get free Taxi To Police Cell/hospital.

        Pubpic Transport Is Wondeful. I Can Accelerate The Train With My Mind By Pressing Different Screws. Vote Tory 2015!


      • 57
        Anonymous says:

        All these MPs have a PA, PA could buy the ticket on the internet, all MP has to do is to put his card and number on the printout to collect the ticket. It is simple as that.

        I am saying they should use their PA as lots of MPs say they cannot use computers.

        To change behaviour, they should be always paid standard fair even if they have used 1st class. Or every year just post their expense claims to voters.


        • 92
          Reality calling says:

          60± grand a year and free trains?

          Fuck them!

          I dont get travel expenses, fuckin london Huntsport take 20% of my fucking wage, and then i have to read tosspots like you mewing that mps should only get basic fare.

          Eat Shit and Die! Appeaser!


          • Dianne Abbotts detachment from reality says:

            Doesn’t every employer lay on Taxis for their employees if they work late ?


          • Anonymous says:

            This country cannot even stop these people using 1st class ticket, you want to ….

            If you don’t pay them the fair they will plead poverty and will not even turn up to do their job.


    • 12
      genghiz the kahn says:

      Has Andy Burnham made an apology for Mid Staffs NHS failings yet?

      Nothing on his twitter account yet.

      Institutional failings, NHS culture, Unions and Labour not putting patients care first


      • 19
        Lard Pressclott of Beams, Bellies, Banjos, Bulimia, two bog seats, two Jags & Shags. says:

        You just don’t get it, do you? It was ALL Thatcher’s fault….

        ( 1m 25sec )

        P.S. Apologies for the mangled language and mock Eton/Hull accent.


      • 21
        Scamp The Excitable Dog says:

        If seeing Sadiq Khan on The Daily Politics this afternoon was anything to go by, Burnham HAS already apologised.

        The Labour pitch seems to be “it happened at a place we’ve already admitted was under-resourced, so now any further Tory cuts will probably mean it will happen in other places again”

        Slightly less than humble stance there if you ask me, trying to shift even more light going onto them…People deserve fu**ing better, but then, when are these chumps ever first to ‘man up’ about anything? it’s all just a game to them.


        • 23
          None of the above V2 says:

          ‘it’s all just a game to them’

          Never a truer statement uttered


        • 95
          Casual Observer says:

          This single issue should be pushed and pushed and pushed by Dave and co.

          The current government is doing the right thing by the NHS: Results are beginning to show.

          Labour on the other hand stepped way across the line in an extremely perverse way from 2005 onward. They contradicted the very principals on which the NHS was originally founded, not to mention covered-up, lied, and were responsible for a health policy which contravened international human rights as defined by the UN in the UK.

          The inmates in Guantanam0 receive better health care.

          That the Conservatives are not making more out of this, but appear to be sweeping the issue under the carpet, is pure political nonsense.

          In this case they do have a moral duty to the country to take Labour down a peg or two and in particular claim Burnham’s scalp.


          • By their fruits you shall know them says:

            That the Conservatives are not making more out of this is not a surprise as they are fucking useless and being led by a devious lickspittle of the EU. Its staring you in plain sight !


          • Casual Observer says:

            Agreed: Just stating some more aspects of the case for the prosecution which you have very eloquently summarized.


          • YouWot? says:

            What is it with people not being able to spell “principles”? “Principals” are headmasters FFS!


      • 150
        lojolondon says:

        Nope, he won’t, it got worse under Liebour, but they will deny that all the way!


    • 49
      Sir William Wade says:

      I prefer standard class, not only because it’s cheaper but because the other passengers are generally quieter and better behaved than in first (except in Scotland, of course). First class is full of phone-shouters, outsize laptops, braying public-sector suits and other assorted bores.


  2. 2
    Hard Working Singleton says:

    More public sector waste.


  3. 3
    Dr Lockjaw says:

    First Class leeches.


  4. 4
    MPs says:

    We need bigger troughs.


  5. 5
    MP Play Book says:

    Steal, Cheat, Lie, Extort, Blackmail, and for some Murder.


    • 151
      Pollyanna says:

      I find this all hard to believe.
      Especially the cheating bit.
      After all, they’re always after “benefit cheats”.


  6. 7
    JH2982304872038 says:

    Let them only claim for the price of the standard class. If they want to pay the difference, it is up to them.

    It really is a bit much that they don’t get their own armoured, luxury trains. We should be ashamed as a nation.


  7. 8
    Pitchfork Sharpener says:

    These people don’t get it. The public are sick of their snooty ways.


  8. 9
    None of the above V2 says:

    Give them the same benefit credit/charge card as the rest of the lazy, workshy & feckless.


  9. 10
    Tom says:

    A sixty pound train ticket? A minor speeding offence? What’s happened to the good honest British scandals of my youth?

    Why can’t we have a bit of shagging, some spies, or some brown envelopes? With all this drivel, Antony Lambton and John Profumo would be turning in their graves (or not).


  10. 13
    Sparky the Dog says:

    I wouldn’t have a problem with MPs traveling 1st class if they managed to pass great legislation and radically reform our useless hospitals and benefits system when they arrived.


  11. 14
    Rob says:

    Simple rule – you get refunded the second class rate. You can pay extra to sit next to the fucking driver if you want, but you’ll get the second class rate and be thankful for it, you filthy leeches.


  12. 15
    Priti Patel says:

    Bunch of loons. I prefer to travel by Taxi


  13. 16
    John Hutton the one true prophet says:

    Kevan Jones is a regular ‘at it’ – see I spy MP!


  14. 17
    Jimmy says:

    Someone in a senior position working at both ends of the country wants to sit down on the journey and I suspect do some work. Doesn’t strike me as unreasonable. Do real non swivel eyed people really get excited by issues like this?


    • 18
      None of the above V2 says:

      I am CEO of a northern company in the PRIVATE sector. I travel regularly by economy and I think once in 5 years I have had to stand.

      As for noise/undesirables its just as bad in first as ‘normos’ can often upgrade for £15

      So if I can do it why can’t a lazy arsed workshy MP ?

      PS For the avoidance of doubt Jimmy, PRIVATE means I pay for it myself unlike them.


      • 20
        None of the above V2 says:

        Plus iPads do not take up a lot of room so they don’t even need a desk these days.


      • 33
        Jimmy says:

        You should probably consider letting the company pay the fare. Seems a bit silly paying business travel from your net income.


      • 63
        Anonymous says:

        Are you a plumber or a welder?


      • 127
        Denis McShame says:

        Look if I can conduct my business from a run down manky little garage then working on a train shouldn’t pose too many problems


        • 134
          Billericay Dickie says:


          on behalf of the people of Britain, I wish to apologise for not paying you enough.

          You are a fine, upstanding man of integrity, who lapsed because we didn’t give you what you so obviously deserved.


    • 22
      It is a bit off says:

      They can travel whatever class, but government should only pay for economy.

      Travelling first is their choice, but tax payer subsidizes the railways enough already.


      • 24
        None of the above V2 says:

        The problem with that is that they then just look for the most optimal journey when 1st class and economy are virtually same price. In other words they throw efficiency under a bus in the name of pride.


      • 59
        Raving Loon says:

        The government doesn’t pay for anything, we the people pay for their train fares.

        There must be an unused block of flats near Westminister that we could turn into an MP’s hostel surely?


    • 25

      I am with you on this today Jimmy. I used to have to work on the train using my laptop and often had a bundle of papers too. The only way I could do this with both room and peace and quiet was to travel first class despite it costing three times as much. I claimed for it (business not public expense).

      As many as three visits up to London in a single week would entail over eight hours travelling time. There is a lot that can be done in eight hours.

      Where there may be a point is where work is not being done as I suspect is often the case. Then I see no reason why second class should not suffice.


    • 27
      Paul Goggins Stupid Name says:

      That’s not the point Jimmy. Rules say they can only take first class when it’s cheaper. It’s clear some are bending the rules to travel in comfort at our expense.


    • 29
      Socialist sophistry says:

      Why does Postman Prat need to charge the Taxpayers for First Class travel ? He’s a backbencher nowadays so there’s no excuse. Apart from the fact that like most feather-beaded lefties, he’s evolved into a champagne socialist.


    • 32

      These stories are crap filled, pointless, finger pointing, us vs them, class war, toff hating, work despising, anti capitalist bollox.

      I’m surprised you’re against them Jimmy. I’d assumed the source was Tom Watson.


      • 41
        Jimmy says:

        It’s simple. Treat MPs like crap and you’ll get crap MPs. Fraud is one thing but I’ve absolutely no problem with them getting proper pay and exes.


        • 51
          Reverse it says:

          If MPs treat the voters like crap then what?


          • Jimmy says:

            Perhaps some mechanism whereby voters periodically were allowed to choose them?


          • Reverse it says:

            So elections every time they stick their hand in the cookie jar, I like it. But dint your oft quoted mate Butch suggest something like that?


        • 68
          JH2982304872038 says:

          MPs seem to enter politics with modest means and wind up being millionaires. Even the sons of manses with moral compasses.

          They are still crap.


        • 103
          Billericay Dickie says:

          This really hits the nail on the head.

          It’s clear to any reasonable person that our elected representatives have been treated deplorably for years. Their selflessness and probity is self evident – if they say they deserve more we should obviously believe them.


    • 40
      Normal Person says:

      I’ve never done any work on a train. They’re so awful I usually try to fall asleep. But one does meet a nicer class of sleeper in first class.


      • 64
        Catty Comment (Ms) says:

        My experience is that first class is often inhabited by typical 30-something ‘Hooray Henrys” yelling into their mobiles to let everybody else know just how important they are to the world.

        Oh, and of course that they are “on the train”.


  15. 26

    I have a bill to put before parliament changing the name of ‘first class’ to ‘business class.’

    Then these stories disappear as its only the FIRST CLASS designation that makes a headline. And we can all get back to stretching out and having a snooze in a pleb free compartment.


    • 30
      Lard Prescott says:

      Is the port a worse quality in economy or something?


    • 36

      If the railways companies were smart, Bill, they would invert the class structure. First class would be what most people would buy. Leave out second class altogether and then have a third class. On Indian railways that would entail travelling with the cattle (bit like the first class above), but on our magnificent system it would be a compartment to yourself on most journeys interrupted only by the buffet trolley with your G&T.


    • 108
      Bad transport policy ghosts of the past says:

      Why is it that trains on mainline routes between major cities in the UK do not sport business carriages like those in Germany ?


  16. 28
    Norman Tebbit says:

    If they insist on travelling they should get on their bikes


  17. 34
    Centre Parting says:

    Why would there be a first class carriage going to a shithole like Hull?


  18. 37
    Sir William Wade says:

    Nobody who has to pat for their own ticket travels first class. It is strictly for troughers.


  19. 45

    Right..I’m sorry..but I can’t stand it any longer.
    You have been warned!

    The very next person, be they minister, interviewer, pundit, newsreader, intern, listener, viewer or passer -by; on TV, radio, print or social media to utter the phrase

    “Systemic failure”

    is deported.


    • 55

      Quite agree! That phrase is surely unfit for purpose!


      • 70

        Dangerously close to a deportation there CRMM!

        I sincerely hope Lessons Have Been Learned


        • 75
          • Twatspeak says:

            Going forward, lessons have been learned from the systemic failures which show the hospital unfit for purpose. We have convened a special exploratory group to undertake a full and comprehensive reorganisation of procedures and structures.


          • In the 1970s I had a buzzword generator sheet with three columns of words. You could pick any one from the first column, add any one from the second and complete with any from the third and they all sounded very impressive.

            On a course I attended, I handed copies round to the delegates and when we had to do our walk on parts, we all undertook to come up with one of these gobbledygook phrases unbeknown to the training guy. It had to be crafted in to sound as if it really was what had come into our mind at that moment.

            The hardest part was for those listening not to collapse with laughter when we heard one.


          • Catty Comment (Ms) says:

            CRMM – I still have that in my desk drawer – along with a one page instruction sheet on how to solve Rubik’s cube.

            Never know, getting down to the nitty gritty, when these ancient artifacts may come in useful!


          • Oh I could solve Rubiks cube easily!

            With a screwdriver.


    • 74
      Media Watch says:

      Do those in the media realize that this terms also implicates them in the failure ?

      An annoying, but also dangerous phrase to repeat.


    • 85
      Twatspeak says:

      What about the phrases:

      “Going forward”

      “At the end of the day”

      “Bedroom tax”


  20. 46
    Raving Loon says:

    Don’t be silly Guido, you don’t expect MP’s to travel with the hoi polloi do you?


  21. 47
    Call me Dave says:

    Look chaps even Tom Watson ‘knows’ that EVERYONE is in favour of Gay Marriage. Listening to your constituents is what all good MPs should do.


    • 60

      Listening to your constituents is a very poor use of an MP’s time.
      They don’t know anything about anything. They don’t know anyone important. They have no useful contacts or cash.

      In the main I find them to be a load of complaining spongers, waddling around the place with their sticky offspring, wasting everyone’s and always banging on about the bins and dog pooh on the pavement.

      I find it much more profitable to spend time at the golf club, where if the company isn’t an improvement, at least the telly is on and the bar is open.


    • 73
      JH2982304872038 says:

      Look at the twat’s avatar.

      He is at the maximum level 12 of being blissfully unaware of what a c’unt one looks, also known as the ‘Sunny Hundal effect’.


      • 84
        Plato says:

        He seems to have ended up with one of an older Harry Potter, rather than of a fat, odious, c’unt which would be more appropriate.


      • 87
        SICK OF THE LOT OF EM says:

        No doubt the overburdened taxpayer paid over the odds to have this fucker digitally beatified by some cheroot smoking lefty artist that no doubt has some family connection to Tom.


    • 96
      Twitter Newbie says:

      Does the blue tick mean verified c.unt ?


    • 101
      I'll pay the postage says:

      Let’s find 112 people in his constituency to write a letter calling on him to resign over his humiliating support for Gordon Brown.


    • 144
      Tay King-dePisse says:

      So nice to see that the failure of his own did not sour Fat Bastard on the institution of marriage in general. And you know what they say about marriage being an institution, right? (As in, “Would you want to live in one for the rest of your life?” Apparently Mrs W didn’t, at least not with him!)


  22. 50
  23. 54
    Vazoline says:

    This is not something that honourable members like me should be doing. I want to see absolute integrity in Parliament.


  24. 58
    One Nation, One Class says:


  25. 66
    hank the cat says:

    Dogs in England must be microchipped from 2016. In my humble opinion all MP’s should be microchipped


    • 77
      Look! This is serious says:

      This is just the next phase of “The Plan”. It started with cows, now it’s dogs, next it will be all newborns, then their parents, and then everybody else (probably except MPs).

      You have been warned. There are even those who have already acceded to this chipping business so they can get into certain clubs.


    • 80
      A Higher Power says:

      All M.P.s should be pistol-whipped, told they are public servants and shot if found stealing. (Or just plain ugly – oh, that’s most of them. Never mind).


    • 106
      Billericay Dickie says:

      And then speyed, castrated or, in Yvette’s case, both.


  26. 81
    Guido's a bit behind the curve on this says:

    Madmood Amadinnerjacket got the shoe treatment


  27. 83
    Andy Bumhum says:


  28. 88
    Diane Abbott says:

    Me wan’ a family bucket of kfc, please! Me put it on me expenses. And don’t forget da gravy!


  29. 98

    RBS fined $612 million for rate rigging Reuters

    You get barrow boys to work for banks and what do you expect?

    (Most barrow boys are/were more honest – if they still exist.)


    • 104
      Barrow Man says:

      We all older now


    • 117
      old SHEP says:

      Or to put it another way USA gets another £400 million from British taxpayers as we ‘own’ 80% of RBS.


    • 119
      R.U.Shaw says:

      Hahaha ! Totally wrong. The investment bankers and traders of the 21st century are mostly quantitative analysts with PhD’s or Doctorates.

      Your barrow boys were replace with Harrow boys just after Labour did their ‘ Prawn Cocktail Offensives’ and instituted light touch regulation with the FSA asleep at the wheel.


    • 126

      I don’t think they were.

      I used to buy from 9 elms market. And whenever a bank was robbed the plod turned up in the morning and looked round the porters to see who was missing. Then they went and nicked them.

      When the Brinks Mat went down the market was almost completely empty.


    • 139
      R.U.Shaw says:

      The barrow boys were replaced by Harrow boys around the time New Liebour conducted their Prawn Cocktail Offensives in the City in the early/mid 1990’s.

      Whizzkids replaced ‘spivs kids’ and the FSA fell asleep at the wheel. Gordon Brown just sat back and collected bucket loads of tax.


    • 145
      Clyde and Buck says:

      Well, we were at least honest about wanting to rob people, there’s that to be said for us Barrow Boys.


  30. 115
    Anonymous says:

    so much for “choo choo ” Portillo on bbctw. May have to shift to his sofa partner.


  31. 133
    First class bastard watch says:

    Need I explain further?


  32. 135
    EU Funded Pro-EU Troll says:

    Vote UKIP.


  33. 137
    Labour Policy Sheet: 6 Feb 2013 says:

    1) Ban Frosties
    2) Don’t allow the ministry of health to kill people on the NHS.


  34. 141
    Sir William Wade says:

    Why does the ad about bailiffs feature a model dressed approximately as a policeman?


  35. 143
    Jimmy the Dhimmi says:


  36. 146
    Anonymous says:

    I’m with the MPs on this. standard class is disgusting along with the people in it. First for me and I pay my own way.


  37. 149
    VERITAS says:

    I have given up hope of these greedy thieving barstewards ever being reformed I dont know what can be done they seem to be beyond the scope of the criminal law ala Moran and McShame,IPSA is as much use as a chocolate fireguard and they will not reform themselves i cite the Boundaries fiasco as evidence why bother to vote?


    • 159
      Firefox + adblock is your friend says:

      They make the laws so what do you expect? Honesty? Integrity?

      But on the plus side,, at least you can eat and enjoy a choccy fireguard!


  38. 160
    Observer says:

    How different they are from Chris Huhne. A little noticed aspect of his recent problems was that when he flew in to Stansted on that fateful day in 2003, he did so on Ryanair. Why would a multi-millionaire MEP be using a budget airline? Might it be because he was claiming the full EU allowance for air travel, using the cheapest airline, and pocketing the difference? I think it could.


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