February 6th, 2013

Download the Guido App Today


  1. 1
    Chris C11nt says:

    …..and if you don’t like it, don’t pay hookers to stick dildos up your arse.

  2. 2 says:

    Who’s the gonk in the picture

  3. 3
    The Earl of Grantham says:

    Hookers? Dildos? I have no idea what you are talking about.
    *calls lawyer to check super-injunction still in force*

  4. 4
    Not so much an App as... says:

    “Your device isn’t compatible with this version” is what Android playstore tells me when trying to download to my latest tablet running Jellybean

  5. 5
    Operation Crossbow says:

    Less Harry Cole and more Lorna Dunkley please.

  6. 6
    Anonymous says:

    Does this feature automatic predictive re-blogging for Private Eye ?

  7. 7
    White Hat Geek says:

    Hmm… not compatible with allsorts…

  8. 8
    Androidbeast says:

    Who is that florid chap who seems unable to use a comb?

  9. 9
    Mark Oaten says:

    I’m always downloading Cr App

  10. 10
    Operation Crossbow says:

    NHS fault, Cameron, Tories

    The BBC haven’t mentioned Labour once. So just who was running the NHS when all this happened you BBC scum?

  11. 11

    Guido. I have just been passed a draft of the revised inside front page for the British Passport.

    Her Britannic Majesty’s Principal Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs and Bumsex Requests and requires in the Name of Her Majesty all those whom it may concern to allow the bearer, himself a queen by statute, to pass freely with his Bumsex partner, without let or hindrance, and to afford the bearer, and his Bumsex partner, such assistance and protection as may be necessary.

    Naturally, I have already enquired as to why the Bumsex should be capitalised whilst bearer is not as it might make it appear that the former term is more important than the latter but, despite chasing, I have not yet had a reply.

    Any thoughts I can pass on?

  12. 12
    Enriching says:

  13. 13
    But We Love Him Anyway says:

    I would have guessed Neo, but his face is too smoothly shaved, and his clothes too neatly pressed, to be Our ‘Arry. Must be his evil twin.

  14. 14
    George Osborne age 11 says:

    Anyone got £64 billion?

  15. 15
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    Just tried to download it onto my LipZor cold-sore device.


  16. 16
    Chris C11nt says:


  17. 17
    Tony Bliar says:

    Probably not far off. Why?

  18. 18
    Mr. Cautious says:

    Hmm……download an app from somebody who works for Rupert Murdoch???

  19. 19
    Mohammmmmmed says:

    Tunisia: Poltician Shot Dead Outside His Home.

    Now who would do a thing like that?

  20. 20
  21. 21
    George Osborne says:

    Hi Tony. Well I’ve fucked up bigtime, by doing this austerity shit, and now it’s all going tits up.
    Any chance of a heads up on what to do next?

  22. 22
    Bertie Bassett says:

    It takes allsorts.

  23. 23
    Old SHEP says:

    Spares the carpet, marginally better than being shot dead inside your own home.

  24. 24
    Just Asking says:

    What do you have to do to actually get the sack from the public “services” in this country. It seems that it has to be more serious than killing hundreds of people through neglect.

  25. 25
    Ann Droid says:

    Not very up-to-date, is it?

  26. 26
    Scooby Doo says:

    What about SIR David Nicholson?

  27. 27
    Alastair Darling says:

    I’ve got a copy of GCSE Economics you can borrow, George.

  28. 28
    Andy "Maybelline" Burnham says:

    I don’t want to talk about that. I want to talk about my triumph in getting justice for the Hillsborough families. I’ve got some great pics where I’m superimposed onto a cheering crowd.

  29. 29
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    I noticed that on the Toady program this morning, when they did their prim time slot on it.

    They are quick to mention tories whenever there is blame to aportion though.

    Cnuts that they are.

  30. 30
    old SHEP says:

    Ed, angel of NHS death has apologised.

  31. 31

    1.) Wear a small cross on a chain or pin
    2.) Declare support for UKIP
    3.) Speak out against gay marriage
    4.) Hold any non-socialist view
    5.) Be a member of a gun club
    6.) Send your child to private school (unless you are an MP)
    7.) Anything else that occurs to them at the time

  32. 32
    Billericay Dickey says:

    It looks a little like the late Reg Presley before he could afford a tie.

  33. 33
    Jo swinney says:

    Stafford was labour controlled at the time . Would you expect anything other than mass killings ?

  34. 34
    Teecher says:

    God knows; I try hard enough.

  35. 35
    Economist says:


  36. 36
    Billericay Dickey says:

    in mint condition.

  37. 37
    Operation Crossbow says:

    Has Gordon Brown said sorry for the murders of hundreds of not thousands at the hands of HIS NHS?

    Why does Cameron keep having to say sorry for Brown’s fuck ups?

    Before some lefty mong protests, Brown was in charge of all domestic policy during the Labour years, Blair did foreign policy (and what a fuck up he made of that) and no one took a shit in the NHS without Brown’s say so.

    Brown fucked the NHS over with his targets obsession and his PFI schemes.

  38. 38
    Billericay Dickey says:

    Whoever it is, he certainly likes his pies.

  39. 39
    Billericay Dickey says:

    What could possibly go wrong?

  40. 40
    Gordon Brown says:

    Good luck to Peru.

  41. 41
    Prospective Bulgarian and Romanian Immigrants says:

    Don’t worry George. Our benefits will only cost just over half of that.

  42. 42
    Operation Crossbow says:

    The BBC keep blaming Fatchur for things that happened 20 years after she left power (like the banking collapse).

    It’s funny because when the BBC thought things were going well they never stopped mentioning Brown and his “economic miracle”. Now you’d think he’d not been in charge for 13 years. And remember HE ran everything domestic, Blair just did foreign policy stuff.

  43. 43

    I know Homosexual Bill was on the prowl last night but your moniker takes things a bit far, old chap.

  44. 44
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    Would have been a different ball game had it been a private hospital.

    Was about to press “Submit Comment” when it occurred to me that maybe the above comment was wrong.
    The many THOUSANDS of breast implants that were performed privately using faulty baps that are a great hazard to the lives of those unfortunate to receive them, leaving the recipients with little or no recourse to corrective measures.

    Yet faulty parts installed by plumbers or motor mechanics can (and in most cases are) resolved at the expense of those tradesmen themselves. Seems like the medical profession have their “cowboys” as well.

  45. 45
    Braindead in Queer Coddy says:

    Gordon is a gem. He will always get my vote.

  46. 46

    You can get a colonoscopy on the NHS without charge now.

    If you are brave.

  47. 47
    Point of fact says:

    Many of us working in the NHS are not cowboys.

    We are Indians.

  48. 48
    Catch me if you can big boy says:

    It’s Neo looks as if he went thru a car wash that had a barbers shop and a drycleaner or maybe he’s been taken in hand by a girlfriend or maybe he’s been watching too much of Sheldon in the Big Bang Theory and has learn’t how to tidy himself up a bit..

  49. 49
    Sally Trending says:

    01/02/2013 02:31

    See what you mean

  50. 50
    One Term Dave says:

    I intend to miss this opportunity to have a radical overhaul of the NHS, just as I missed the opportunity to overhaul the BBC.

  51. 51
  52. 52
    Marine Le Pen, Parti Citron says:

    Votez Conservateur!

  53. 53
    Point of information says:

    The tall guy who wasn’t hitting back deserved all he got.

    If you do not defend yourself, expect that in the video to happen.

  54. 54
  55. 55

    I think you had it right first time, PS.

    There is not an equivalence between vanity surgery and treatment for illness.

    Additionally, the bap makers were the ones who caused the reliability problem. But the client/patient had the real problem. Better to be happy how you are.

  56. 56
    Sir William Wade says:

    Yes, I certainly have paid bailiffs something in the last 4 years, and a dashed good job they did, too! I could never have winkled old Mrs Miggins out of her cottage without them!

  57. 57

    One more time

    BBC timeline.

    1900 – 1997 – Thatcher

    1997 – 2001 – Blair

    2001 – 2005 Thatcher

    2005- 2008 Brown

    2008 – present – Cameron and Thtcher

  58. 58
    Jimmy says:

    Surely now that you work for the Digger you can just put it on all our phones anyway?

  59. 59
    BBC is shit says:

    As much fun as Bruce Willis dying on his arse on the ‘One show’

  60. 60
    Catch me if you can big boy says:

    Just leave it for Liebour to get back in after all “lessons have been learn’t” ask little Peter and the rest of humanity they helped.

  61. 61
    Point of information says:

    Would expect more than mass killings irrespective of who was in control.

    That Labour delivered mass killings is the problem, and that no moron appears to be doing anything about holding them to account is compounding this.

  62. 62
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    That applies to America only.

    Their prisoners are released without any support, they go and live under bridges and in cardboard boxes and storm drains.

    Our prisoners are released into social housing and their only downside is lack of a sky subscription.

  63. 63
    Curiosity Killed the Cat says:

    How come Matt Ridley got voted into the Lords today ?

  64. 64
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    Why do they bring on 22 kids to support the Football ” Stars ” …and then studiously ignore them?

    A word from Bobby Charlton or Peter Shilton, is it too much to expect?

  65. 65
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    He wrote The Red Queen.

    Seems about right.

  66. 66
    Curiosity Killed the Cat says:

    That makes sense. Was confused as couldn’t see Northern Rock being the reason.

  67. 67
    Die Hard says:

    Oh dear. Feel for the guy. Times must be hard.

  68. 68
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    C4 News.
    No mention that labour were in power when the Stafford Hospital issues took place.
    Re RBS Stephen Hester should have smacked Guru-Murthy in the face. Murthy is an arrogant shit.
    C4 News biased towards the left.

  69. 69
  70. 70
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    “There is not an equivalence between vanity surgery and treatment for illness.”

    Patients with a flat bap can be very ill indeed. Their vanity surgery was the cause of it and they (some) are left with no alternative but to have corrective surgery paid for by the taxpayer.

    Plumbers and motor mechanics would also like the taxpayer to underwrite their losses. Fat chance.

  71. 71
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    And now Brown’s tea boy, Ed Miliband, has taken over the reins. Why hasn’t Andy Burnham resigned?

  72. 72
    One term heir to Blair and his bumsex army of Triple dip says:

    Does it come in pink?

  73. 73
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    Another for your bookshelves. ( and my bedside pile )


  74. 74
    Biased Bolshevik Corp says:

    Oh yes we wrote the book on little tricks like that, glad to see C4 towing the party line.

  75. 75
    No Comment says:


  76. 76
    Catch me if you can big boy says:

    They don’t do resignations in Liebour, they just move them on the destroy something else.

  77. 77
    Curiosity Killed the Cat says:

    Yes – you were correct.

    Didn’t know he was a libertarian: Monbiot did a hatchet piece on him, http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2007/oct/23/comment.business

    It wasn’t a libertarian business model which broke Rock. It was business decisions made by individuals who did not understand how a bank functions, and who had a poor grasp of poorer economics.

    They were playing the carry trade without understanding the true nature of that dynamic.

    Seems like a good guy, but he should steer clear from finance moving forward.

  78. 78
    ffs! says:

    As opposed to “moving back”?

  79. 79
    ffs! says:


  80. 80
    Curiosity Killed the Cat says:

    This may be worth watching:


    He won the Hayek prize 2011.

    May give rational optimist a miss though: Gates rightly criticized that book. Optimism is what one hopes to be born from pessimistic decision making, at least in the real world that is the case.

    Optimistic thinking like that can blind you to the realities of life. The financing structure of the Rock is the text book anti-thesis.

  81. 81
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    Figures for last year showed that 29% of people who died while being treated by the NHS died from the Liverpool Care Pathway. That 29% = 129,000 patients.

  82. 82
    From 45% White Londonistan says:

    Oh how far we’ve come!

  83. 83
    Officer Dibble says:

    Why are the BBC not parked up outside Burhnam’s house doing a live piece to camera?

  84. 84
    FFS! says:


  85. 85
    Sir Richard Richard says:

    What’s the music? It’s rather catchy.

  86. 86
    David Mellor says:

    You rang?

  87. 87
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    Thanks, will do.

  88. 88
    Curiosity Killed the Cat says:

    @ffs: Thank you for reading and pointing out the pleonasm.

  89. 89
    You naughty little stirrer says:

    2008? Hardly news.

  90. 90
    Operation Crossbow says:

    The BBC have their noses shoved too far up bum boy Burnham’s arse to do interviews.

  91. 91
    Operation Crossbow says:

    It’s FATCHUR

  92. 92
    Anonymous says:

    it is good to help but isn’t the private eye supposed to help us,
    but then

    they might feel more important.
    no peace when money speaks.

  93. 93
    Party Time says:

    Oh do STFU Jimmy and lets dance in to oblivion!

  94. 94
    AB says:

    Because I’m a Hunt. Next question?

  95. 95
    An Old Lag says:

    I think you will find that is often not the case.

  96. 96
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    In what respect? I am happy to be corrected.

  97. 97
    Labour have blood on their hands says:

    Why does the myth of the angelic nurse still prevail? The fact is that the vast majority of hospital staff are a disgrace. There is no semblance of compassion or care in the profession. The staff who were at Stafford have since moved on, so they’ll be spreading their delightful brand of care at other hospitals now. They’re not facing any prosecution or disciplinary process.

    And against this grim background, let’s not forget who else has blood on their hands. Labour. This happened on their watch and under their targets-fixated culture. Cameron should not have apologised today for what happened under Labour. He should have laid the responsibility at the feet of the Labour front bench.

  98. 98
    Nagging doubt says:

    Would evidence that a major children’s charity knowingly employed an international terr0rist as a social worker be enough to cause a ripple in the Westminster pond ?

  99. 99
    Jimmy says:

    That’s delightful. You people have such natural rhythm

  100. 100

    We are talking of two different things. I was talking about the initial insertion which is why I used the term vanity surgery. Clearly if it goes horribly wrong, then the patient has an illness which may have been caused by the initial surgery but requires a different treatment. That would not be classified as vanity surgery.

    We agree on the final outcome.

  101. 101
    Film Watcher says:

    With the motorbike and all, very James Bond.

  102. 102
    Candlestick says:

    He’s not a PM, he’s a PR.

  103. 103
    Marlowe says:

    Many prisoners have nowhere to go where they are welcome and re-offend within weeks in order to go back inside

  104. 104
    Catch me if you can big boy says:

    Seen the myth in action last year, some old lady wanted the toilet, it took the b,stards over an hour to get some ancillary staff to help, all we got from the so called nurses was just press the call button, they were too fkin busy eating and drinking or maybe with their new found university status it was below them to help, Liebour the destroyers their own ideals.

  105. 105

    According to reports, Julian Assange is running for the Australian Senate. Presumably in the unlikely circumstances that he is elected, he will claim diplomatic immunity.

  106. 106
    Richard III says:

    I went into Stafford Hospital and came out with a hump. That’s the NHS for you.

  107. 107
    silly fool says:

    Cameron should have laid out the facts of the slaughter, then offered the despatch box to Ed Miliband to apologise on behalf of the government he was an integral part of at the time

  108. 108
    hospitals run much better without the patients says:

    Actually, us care workers are just updating our statuses on Facebook, and humping each other in the staff room, so fuck you!

  109. 109
    Saffron says:

    In the public sector there are too many instances of nobody will take responsibility,all we hear is lessons will be learnt.
    The NDS and you can figure out what the D means has been shown up as what a disgrace it has become,and again nobody takes responsibility.
    Do any of you think that in private industry this would become the norm barring odd cases?.
    Having worked in private industry almost all my working life and latterly in senior positions,I can tell you that you would not get away with,not me guv and lessons will be learnt.
    Cammoron today offering an abject apology on behalf of the Liebour part was a disgrace,where was mascara man and others?.
    As for that Millitwit and his ramblings about a bedroom tax,why does this pillock not understand the definition of what a tax is,frankly he is a prize asshole.

  110. 110
    Legal Eagle says:

    That would not work.

    The only way the diplomatic immunity deal could work is if he became a UN special envoy. And then safe passage is only granted to New York when the UN recall him.

  111. 111
    Dromedary Camel says:

    You should worry Richard, I was the bloody transplant donor.

  112. 112
    bogof says:

    When has a jock not liked a freebie ffs?

  113. 113
  114. 114
    Super-Qualified Nurse says:

    That’s really unfair. I am NOT updating my status on facebook. I am doing research for my next qualification and those bloody patients better stop messing me about.

    I am studying the social interactions between disparate communities in hospital (aka Angry Birds).

  115. 115
    Operation Crossbow says:

    Burnham, Johnson and Brown must be proud of their NHS. Mid Staff over a 1000 dead (probably double that in reality) and Maidstone hospital (hundreds dead) and now even more hospitals accused of exterminating their patients.

    The picture below sums up Labour’s management of the NHS.

    Why is the media not asking if any of the Labour politicians involved going to resign their seats?

  116. 116
    Casual Observer says:

    That he is being so blatantly dumb is odd, almost like he was throwing bones which were not being picked up.

    Something very off.

  117. 117
    bogof says:

    Whether Jockland is a white country is a moot point. Highest per capita prison population in Europe, highest drug abuse offenders, highest single mums, highest rate of population on benefits. That’s what you get for a hundred years of socialism and voting exclusively for the fucking Labour party. Rock on!

  118. 118
    Casual Observer says:

    I would like to state that what has been going on over the past few years is not far off the mark, and your comparison is disturbingly precise.

    A difference between the two events though is that those responsible for the bodies in the photo did not try to pass the crime off as an administrative error and were largely prosecuted for their crimes.

  119. 119
    Operation Crossbow says:

    That cuunt in charge of the NDS reminds me of the leather faced bitch who took the kids off the UKIP couple.

    Notice how THAT story soon died a death as well, our fucking media are shit, crap and fucking useless.

    The problem was when Liebore were in power the media were all sucking Brown’s cock dry of cum, the BBC and fucking Hunts like Mark Easton couldn’t wait to get on the air and read out the latest tractor stats as FACTS, yet all the time the piles of bodies were being racked up. The families of the dead were simply being ignored by the media for fear of upsetting the most mentally unstable human being to have ever walked the Earth.

    Note the difference now, the BBC challenge THIS government every single day, can you remember one Newsnight where they were not investigating or accusing the current government (and lying) yet under that fucking one eyes Scottish retarded shitbag not a single word was said.

    Piss off you BBC cuunts

  120. 120
    Operation Crossbow says:

    The deaths of 90 hospital patients from clostridium difficile are “scandalous”, Health Secretary Alan Johnson has said.

    Mr Johnson said he was shocked by the findings, but denied accusations the problems were caused by staff being put under pressures to meet government A and E targets.


    Well well well that sounds familiar doesn’t it?

  121. 121
    Operation Crossbow says:

    Emily Shitless on Newsnight straight in. “The government are here to explain why no one has lost their job”

    So why no Liebore cuunts on Newsnight then Titless? Where is bummer Burnham or Alan “postman Twat” Johnson?

  122. 122

    Due to recent developments, the list has required extension:

    before 55BC savages – Thatcher without clothes
    55 – 54 BC Julius Caesar – didn’t like the Tories and left
    53BC – 43 AD Proto-Thatcherites
    43 – 410 Romans – mildly Thatcherite and therefore still bad
    411 – 1066 Traces of Thatcher burning cakes
    1066 – 1373 Norman Conquest – couvrir de chaume
    1373 – 1452 First Thatcher reign
    1452 – 1485 Richard III lived in a Nissan Micra, recently discovered
    1486 – 1837 Thatcherite Empire – the sun never set which was awkward
    1837 – 1900 Queen Victoria – probably Thatcher in disguise

    Then as you so correctly set out.

  123. 123
    rebekah aka nellnewman says:

    I suspect both alanjohnson and andy burnham who created and presided over the destruction of our nhs to the point where people were either left disabled or encouraged to die are in hiding tonight!

  124. 124
    Operation Crossbow says:

    So what is Hattie Hatemen’s excuse going to be for the NHS fuckups? She blamed MEN for the banking failure, but being as the NHS is dominated by women who is she going to blame this time?

  125. 125
    Fatty Jim says:

    I have just seen elephant leg cooking in a window

  126. 126
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    Nah, their out dining on their hard earnt cash.

    People were dinking vase water, laying in their own mess and dieing, what’s that to us we are here to stop the tories from privitising the wonderful NHS.

  127. 127
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    Men, and Tory men at that.

  128. 128
    Operation Crossbow says:

    Woman on Newsnight explaining to Emily Shitless that she had hundreds of emails about shit care in the NHS.

    So will Newsnight investigate? Of course not.

    Just wait till they get something about the NHS to hang round the necks of the Tories, Newsnight won’t shut up about it then.

  129. 129
    Cranky old git says:

    They’re big men when they’re mobhanded – on a one to one basis most of these budding mujahideen are gutless no-hopers.

  130. 130
    Operation Crossbow says:

    Give it a few days and Bungham will slither onto the BBC somewhere.

    Johnson usually appears on This Wee with brillo, I’m not expecting him to get a kicking if he does.

    Ed Miliband seems rather quiet as well.

  131. 131
    Andy Bumhum says:

    Do shut up !

  132. 132
  133. 133
    A Censor says:

    You don’t have permission to access /images/battle_holocaust12.jpg on this server.

    Additionally, a 404 Not Found error was encountered while trying to use an ErrorDocument to handle the request.

  134. 134
    Cranky old git says:

    He was a critic of the ‘moderate Islamist’ ruling party – apparently someone didn’t catch the Beeb’s bit about them being moderate.

  135. 135
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    Recording the sex of aborted foetuses would be too costly and could distress women, ministers have ruled, despite evidence that illegal terminations on gender grounds may be taking place in the UK.

    …Nothing to do with the fact that records wold show up an ethnic bias.

  136. 136
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    “To costly” !!! M or F

  137. 137
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    What “Ministers”; name them.

  138. 138
    Operation Crossbow says:

    Being as abortion is legal in the UK and as I understand it women don’t have to give a reason to get rid of it, what’s the problem?

    Feminists support abortion but not if it’s baby girls being got rid of? Only baby boys? I’m confused if women want rid of a kid because of its gender what’s the problem?

    All I object to is fucking paying for it.

  139. 139

    I’ve still got this nice blank sheet of paper…..

  140. 140
    Fishy says:

    Biased BBC in all of its glory.

    The appalling corrupt Emily Nomates on Labour’s Newsnight undertakes an aggressive interview of a coalition minister, immediately after a puff piece with Postie Johnson, giving him a chance to say Stafford was all the Tories fault (no challenge from her).Read the Guardian’s comments this evening for a signpost of where Newsnight would go with this.

    The BBC has been in ‘Defend Labour’ mode all day, from Gameshow Campbell this morning who belittled the 1200 dead by seeking balance (that’s a novelty) by asking also for people’s good experiences -when there weren’t enough, he claimed those ringing in with their bad experiences were ‘self selecting’.

    THE BIG QUESTION to Nikki-ta and his biased BBC chums is; Where the fuck is Andy Burnham today? Have they sought him out? Are there questions you need to ask him?

  141. 141
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    Yup but what about the rest of the MSM. A couple of undercover nursing assistants with covert cameras doesn’t cost a fortune.

  142. 142
    Bactrian camel says:

    Katie Price got mine

  143. 143
    Headline I would like to read says:

    Rabid MPs to be micro-chipped.

    Can do far more harm that a couple of dogs

  144. 144
    ROGER MYBUTT says:

    African or Indian ?

  145. 145
    Operation Crossbow says:

    Ed Milibent is a mong in crisis more like.

  146. 146
    Operation Crossbow says:

    Don’t mention chips to Diane Fartbott.

  147. 147
    Dave Camera on says:

    We promised a new headline every day.

    Gays to be allowed to marry
    Dogs to be micro-chipped
    Margarine to be banned
    Horse-meat to be Halal
    Sausages to be given more teeth.
    NHS Managers to be Knighted for services to population control.

  148. 148
    Operation Crossbow says:

    This all happened under Liebore, Bumthem and Johnstoned can’t wheedle out of this. Also that one eyed twat Brown is involved as well. Like I said elsewhere, no one took a shit in the NHS without the say so of McFucking uselessjockstupidmongbastard.

    Nicky Campbell loves Gordon Brown and Labour he won’t tolerate a single word against them.

    He gives the game away by always calling Labour politicians by their first name, but Tory ones by the surname. I don’t even thing the jock twat realises he’s doing it.

  149. 149
    Male foetus says:

    We end up like China with a shortage of pussy. Is that enough of a reason

  150. 150
    Socialists = Sociopaths says:

    The ex-communist NHS chief, the young wife he fast-tracked and a very lavish lifestyle

  151. 151
    Rumpledforeskin says:

    as I sometimes use this space to express my own slant I will say that

    All life is connected. The sense of self that you feel is also shared by the sparrow and the rabbit. there was something else that I was going to say but I think I will leave that ’till later.

  152. 152
    Operation Crossbow says:

    Because no one in the MSM dared to take on McHalfwit or Nu Labia. Liebore basically ran a 3rd world dictatorship for 13 years. Just look at how the MSM take the Tories apart every single day, you saw none of that, even back during the Iraq war the BBC were ‘timid’ in attacking Liebore, instead going after Bush and the USA.

    Brown and his goons ruled by fear except with the BBC who were always willing to offer a blow job, especially after the champagne strewn corridors of the BBC back in 97.

  153. 153
    Schizophrenic Rabbit says:

    But sometimes I am a sparrow…I don’t really have a sense of self but of selves.

  154. 154
    beast says:

    I think that its called MURDER in many societies
    I would however make exceptons in the case of McMental
    Blair and that person who seems to have moved into Churchills bedroom
    Thats just a case for pest control

    Put out a few £50 notes laced with uncle putins finest polonium and the jobs done!

  155. 155
    BetFred says:

    We are opening a book on size of Sir David Nicholson’s Golden Goodbye.

  156. 156
    Your friendly neighbourhood GP says:

    The bloke on the right looks like he’s been shot in the face with a doughnut. It wouldn’t hurt to stick a bit of salad on the menu at Guido HQ.

  157. 157
    Rumpledforeskin says:

    look I try to be serious and some clown at the back pipes up

  158. 158
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    What’s with that raised finger thing he does when he’s in schoolboy nark mode at PMQs?

  159. 159
    Schizophrenic Rabbit says:

    Please don’t confuse me further. Being called a clown is not funny.

    Off to get more Seroquel.

  160. 160
    The BBC are cunts says:

    We’ve got loads of spare cash for fat cats’ pay-offs.

  161. 161
    Rumpledforeskin says:

    if you look at another living thing do you feel affinity with it or do you think you are just a small thing in a cage or just ” hey you are a dumb animal, I am a human, fuck you, are you good to eat ?

  162. 162
    Calamity Clegg says:

    How many properties has Chris ████ got ?

  163. 163
    Busted Nokia says:

    probably still doing his homework

  164. 164
    Anonymous says:

    seeds of implied historical revision here with some pre 55BC stuff down the memory hole. This global process started 5000BC in india.
    Did the world of the greatest lies land on earth at the end of 2012 though, 7000 years later.
    Reality was revealed in the golden period pre 7000 years ago in The Indus Valley in India after which darkness landed on earth.
    the darkness that we cannot live without but some outstanding individuals like BW struggle to come to terms with it.
    Denial or no denial, given that the Queen owns the earth, our first loyalty is to her.
    Other loyalties beyond that is a matter of choice….depending on one’s essence.

  165. 165
  166. 166
    Anonymous says:

    Who the fuck is to blame then John?

  167. 167
    Red Ed's non-predator union bosses says:

    A former Commie on a £ 270,000 p.a. salary plus expenses.

    What could possibly go wrong ?

  168. 168
    Busted Nokia says:

    BBC is not fit for purpose. Best to starve it of revenue. Left/big state propaganda done amazingly well.

  169. 169
    Adam bolted from the studio says:

    That by far was hilarious…

  170. 170
    Busted Nokia says:

    how can anyone in the public sector be paid more than Cameron ?

  171. 171
    But We Love Him Anyway says:

    A week (or four) off the piss wouldn’t go amiss either. Who knows but he might wake up at a normal hour and show up ready for work as well.

  172. 172
    The lemon willy wavers says:

    Is there a bye election due?
    Gove has to give up reform, mansion tax back on, what’s next? FFS!

  173. 173
    BBC Revisionism Department says:

    We think sir that you are attempting some non-standard presentation here which fails to take into account that the Timeline must be approved by the BBC before it can be taught or broadcast.

    Where are your references to Thatcher in this sequence? You cannot simply make this stuff up, you know. It has to researched, improved, cleansed, set in the context of evil Tories, then given a final hard coat gloss.

    Please take your contribution away and try again. Any further undisciplined material is liable to your taken into custody for correction.

    If you are unhappy with this reply you can write to the Ombudsman within 21 days of the reply and it will be considered, a judgement and sentence issued to you and the papers filed (and if necessary shredded.)

    Thank you for watching the BBC and Pay Your Tele Tax!

  174. 174
    OR . . . says:

    vote for ‘Dave’ and get a cock up your arse – your choice as to which is more beneficial

  175. 175
    See them swaying by their ankles strung up round Londonistan says:

    - this years tourust attraction -

  176. 176
    Fan of Lorna says:

    + 1000

  177. 177

    Beds throughout the land are groaning tonight in exultation over the landmark vote to allow same sex marriage and discontinue the older type, which is now prohibited.

    Many a cork has popped and much of the foaming stuff has been carelessly spilled upon the ground.

    For The Great Leader Cameron, things can only go up and up. Gay Britain is now one massive receptacle for the big spenders and the Leader has invited them all to come here. Pink is IN.

  178. 178
    A passing Huhne says:

    Surely you’re not referring to Peru-dence ? You, who abandonned her and followed your amoral compass to Cape Cod.

  179. 179
    Waldemar Fydrych says:

    Time the little people had their say – vote for the Orange Alternative.

  180. 180
    Little Lord Fondlebum of Boy says:

    My gut feeling is yes.

  181. 181
    Lou Scannon says:

    … a promise to introduce a “government of thrift”.
    Remind me : how much are we borrowing this week ?

  182. 182
    The tit in no. 10 says:

    Chris was always a gas.

  183. 183
    Terry Doughfights says:

    Clegg knows all about ‘ordinary people’, of course.
    Shame he was never any good at simple arithmetic.

  184. 184
    Joe Camel says:

    I don’t have any problems, where humps are concerned…

  185. 185
    Don T B Vague says:

    Room service ? Send up another two dozen pints of pink gin.
    (Hold that position, Chris.)

  186. 186
    Pleb Watch says:

    The M case involving police has been somewhat vexing.

    It was well documented that M has a volatile way. Certain reporters at the Telegraph testify to that. In fact, Project Umubano was where that started in Rwanda. An interesting one for DFiD.

    So why did M lose it so when a young lady penned a bad report ?

    Also, why on his last day before becoming chief whip did he sign off aid to Rwanda despite it being well known that the UN was about to release a report implicating Rwanda’s involvement in East Congo war. G’ning had to correct that.

    So: M, Rwanda, UKAid.

    M has another major interest: Armajaro. They have an interest in Cocoa and Coffee: Some nicknames connected include Chocfinger.

    Rwanda produces a lot of coffee and some cocoa. Rwanda’s commodities exports got hit quite hard in the downturn of 2008, making its products a very good buy.

    Strangely enough, Uganda is another country to which DFiD funds have been held back by G’ning, due to Uganda’s misuse. This is again connected with the conflict in Eastern DRC. Windmills were the advertised project for Uganda.

    Uganda also produces quite a lot of coffee.

    Armajaro is attempting to diversify away from commodities now. They were developing interest in green energy among other things, like wind turbines.

    Dave gets on quite well with Rwanda as well.

    Is the smell of coffee and cordite getting stronger in the breeze ?

    Time to wake up.

  187. 187
    Pleb Watch says:

    When these facts are understood, it is quite clear who was behind pleb gate and why.

    It doesn’t pay to get too greedy at the trough, or abdicate oneself from a certain degree of discrete decorum. Silly boy.

  188. 188
    Point of information says:

    > NHS Managers to be Knighted for services to population control.
    – Not correct.

    > NHS Managers to be Knighted for reducing state pension obligations.
    – Correct.

  189. 189
    Rwanda Watch says:

    It is interesting to note that Tony Bliar is a personal adviser to Rwanda’s premier Paul Kagame.

    This UN report was quite damning and explains why both Rwanda / Uganda are supporting M23 in Eastern DRC:


    It is all about mineral smuggling. The red line for the UN was the capture of Goma.


    When the timing for all of this is looked at the transfers in UK gov make sense.

    This article is very interesting knowing all of the above:


    And helps join the dot to Mandelbums Der!paska tete a tete.

  190. 190
    EU Watch says:

    Gove giving up on Baccalaureate Certificate is sort of good news as it means the education system pre-degree is not being brought in to line with Europe.

  191. 191
    albacore says:

    The N H S, serial killers’ paradise
    Homicides galore and nobody pays the price
    For an angel of mercy cannot do murder
    The very idea! Nothing could be absurder
    So, keep ripping away, Jack, to your heart’s content
    Parliament’s apologised. You needn’t relent

  192. 192
    The drugs don't work says:

    Sounds like a jazzed-up version of the second movement of Shostakovich’s 10th symphony.

    Which, somewhat ironically, was written as a portrait of Comrade Stalin.

  193. 193
    The drugs don't work says:

    Mea culpa – make that Shostakovich’s 7th symphony. The one about the siege of Leningrad.

  194. 194
    sweety says:

    Lezzies like liquclit allsorts.

  195. 195
    sweety says:

    Better watch your step then duck – somebody might souix you.

  196. 196

    Doesn’t download for Blackberry.

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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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