February 2nd, 2013

Read Guido in the Sun Tomorrow

Get involved…


  1. 1
    graham smith says:

    I knew him hen he had fuckall

  2. 2
    Grauniad says:

    dear Mr Fwakes. We sell hardyl any papers thees days. Cuold we talk?

  3. 3
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    Next stop The Times.

  4. 4
    Living in 96.98 percent white Merseyside says:

    I hope they’ve printed an extra million copes despite the fact no-one up here will buy it.

  5. 5
    The Sun says:

    Guido Fawkes ate my minge.

  6. 6
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    It’s difficult enough trying to find his column in the Star. Imagine wading through the Observer whilst in Tesco Express.

  7. 7
    Einstein says:

    Up here is relative. Scots view scousers as southerners.

  8. 8
    Sir William says:

    Exploding wasps, what?

  9. 9
    Alan Rusbridger, pianist says:

    Today I will be mostly playing Buddy Can You Spare A Dime?

  10. 10
    Drop a Daisy cutter on Owin Jones says:

    Getting a bit tired of middle class privileged ‘columnists,ie Guido Fawkes,’ who rarely leave comfort of their desk, writing about ‘poverty & working class’

  11. 11
    Graham Jones says:

    Hush money from Murdoch you hypocritical git

  12. 12
    Yawn! says:

    Does this mean he will now jump on the all benefits claimants are lying thieving b’s bandwagon, or will he be taking note of what the real statistics say?

  13. 13
    When I was a lad I served a term as office boy to an attorney's firm... says:

    Dead Tree Press?

  14. 14
    Gotcha says:

    The Crown Court

    at Southwark

    Daily List for Monday 4 February 2013 at English Grounds, off Battlebridge Lane


    Court 3 – sitting at 09:30 AM


    For Trial
    T20127076 HUHNE Christopher

    PRYCE Vasiliki

    Order made under Contempt of Court Act 1981


    Published: 1 February 2013 at 15:38 EMA/498618
    Page No: 3 of 17

  15. 15
    Rosie says:

    Well that’s gone down like a lead lifebelt.

  16. 16
    Vote UKIP says:

    The Sun has got his twat on.

  17. 17
    Casual Observer says:

    Nice one Guido.

  18. 18
    Harriet Harperson says:

    I object to gratuitous tits in the newspapers

  19. 19
    Casual Observer says:

    Not really: Given G’s history it has been a long come back, but if he wants to get his message across then being in one of the major papers is a must.

    G is a journalist, and no indication that this site is going to shut down yet.

    Will be interesting to see if M is going to get behind UKIP or not.

    One would suspect no. Be good if he did though.

  20. 20
    Owned Jones says:

    What’s your email address ?

  21. 21
    Dick Miliband says:

    Hellfire, that’s an early start for Huhne baby

  22. 22
    Blair is a piece of shit says:

    Ha ha! Turns out pork may have ended up in the “halal” meat served to muslim prisoners. That’s what I call karma.

  23. 23
    █████ Watch says:

    Butt plug ?

  24. 24
    Benny Fitz-Clements says:

    There is no official figure for exactly how many “strivers” are on benefits. But what is clear is that their numbers increased dramatically under the previous Government: from 700,000 when Labour took office in 1997 to 4.7 million on the equivalent entitlements in 2010, rising to between 6 and 7 million people, once housing benefit and council tax benefit are included. That is an eight to tenfold increase in a period that was, for much of it, one of unprecedented prosperity.


  25. 25
    Anonymous says:


    When did you meet with

    a Rupert Murdoch
    b Rebecca Brookes
    c Andy Coulson
    d The Commissioner of Police



  26. 26
    Owin Jones says:

    What next for Guido,an OBE ???

    Spike Milligan would have described him as “A Grovelling Little Bastard”

  27. 27
    Anonymous says:

    For a second there I thought it said “It’s going to be expensive!”

  28. 28
    Anonymous says:


  29. 29
    Dick Miliband says:

    Would you like an inquiry served up with that pie Tom?

  30. 30
    The Far Right says:

    Still waiting to see Guido in this publication:


    You know you can do it if you lay off Galloway :-)

  31. 31
    Anonymous says:

    It certainly seems to be slowed down by advertising a lot these days (C.bertrand.com in particular). No doubt a lot of IP harvesting is going on.

  32. 32
    Porky says:

    Karma or Khorma?

  33. 33
    Anonymous says:

    You can tell your readers that Dave’s EU speech has not made a blind bit of difference to me. It’s still UKIP for me unless Dave is replaced with a Conservative and not a whet Liberal.

    Any one who votes Lib/Lab/Con is conspiring with them and endorses them to cede more of our Parliaments powers to the EU. And, further more, now being in possession of the full facts, being that the EU is on the road to the creation of a permanent United States of Europe dominated by Germany(money talks),is in total agreement with them to this end.

    So vote LibLabCon for a United States of Europe.

    When will you realise that it is YOUR VOTE them empowers them to create a United States of Europe. Yes you!

    Their power comes from your vote.

  34. 34
    Anonymous says:

    that would be lovely yeh, served up with Leveson custard would be even better.

    And I want it non-hacked before it is served up.

  35. 35
    Murdoch should be in jail not those he dangles on the spiders web says:

    Like so many before and some many still to come, taken the Multi Billionaire shilling.

    We live in times of avarice and greed.

  36. 36
    Casual Observer says:

    You can set up your own blog and post up.

    Writing this sort of stuff would probably help you get an audience:


  37. 37
    Anonymous says:

    I’m not sure I really want to see him on page 3 ffs!

    What will his wife and kids say!

  38. 38
    Sailing over a cardboard sea says:

    It’s only a paper moon then???

  39. 39
    Curly says:

    Nobody loves you when you’re down and out….

    So can you take a hint please?

  40. 40
    Operation Crossbow says:

    Will Guido be topless?

  41. 41
    Sir William Waad says:

    He’ll have to drive like the wind to get there on time.

  42. 42
    Anonymous says:

    Guido and the dead tree press?

    Is that like having blue mashed potato?

  43. 43
    The Sheeple of Great Britain says:

  44. 44
    Anonymous says:

    Hush hush on Murdoch and Brookes then.

  45. 45
    Alan Rubbisher says:

    # They used to tell me I was building a dream……

  46. 46
    Spanky & Our Gang says:

    Sunday will never be the same!

  47. 47
    Vote UKIP says:

    To be fair we have had the NHS during that time, which has been responsible for making so many invalids. And the H&S work regulations have created far more sick people.

  48. 48
    Gordon says:

    Nursie, I think mine’s in back to front.

  49. 49
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Not bad for someone who has made mocking the dead tree press his leitmotif.

    Ah, well, all good things come to an end – or, more accurately, an ever slower to download end, riddled with kids posting inanities and YouTube clips, funded by multimedia ads for Cillit Bang and indigestion cures.

    Lord Gnome has, as ever, the last laugh.


  50. 50
    They Fear The Hare says:

    what the fcuk are the Sun doing hiring journalists ?

  51. 51
    Sir William says:

    The irony is that Friedrich Schiller, who wrote the words, was obsessed with the personal development of individuals into autonomous, moral people and sceptical that different forms of government had much part to play in human happiness. Rather, deliverance lay in Art and Education.

  52. 52
    must do better fuckwits says:

    Yeah, all sub sun puns btw.

  53. 53
    Dick Miliband says:

  54. 54
    True Believer says:

    This is a serious incentive for believers not to commit crimes that cause them to be put in prison.

  55. 55
    Don't let the door hit your arse on the way out says:

    I hope you’ve found out where Mornington Crescent is by now, you can join the dossers who pimp their arses down there.

  56. 56
    Reality says:

    1997 through 2010 was a time of unprecedented wealth illusion.

    Prosperity was being eroded as debt was being accumulated: Both public and private.

    The council tax benefit (spin: bedroom tax) was put in place by Labour to paper the crack of reducing central funding to Local Authorities. This has distorted peoples expectations of local authority services, and budgeting expectations of local authorities.

    The real question is how many more of these distortions exist ?

    Well, one other is housing benefit (spin: Council tax increases): If this is going to working families to help the pay rent / mortgage then you have another. The crack being covered here is the public purse is paying for housing market inflation in order to prevent prices from correcting.

    What needs to be hammered home is that these Labour manipulations of the economy to prevent normal pricing actions were originally done to benefit Labour controlled councils to the detriment of Conservative (Labour councils gained more), and the actions have not only contributed massively to national debt but also have distorted completely the housing market.

    The inflation in house prices very much helped create the wealth effect. People do not equate increased mortgage debt with house price rise, the media were only really promoting the price rise side of the picture.

    The net effect is that this generation cannot afford to house itself without government assistance even if it has a job, and wages cannot plug the gap without introducing massive inflation.

    The only quick fix for this is fixing the benefit system so that it is no longer distorting these markets and raise interest rates to ensure that the corrections in the economy happen quickly.

    This will be a painful reset, but is the only option: The government who does it will likely not be electable for at least 3 generations though.

    The socialist model put in place could be continued, but the state cannot continue with this fiscal model indefinitely and Russia shows what happens when it eventually collapses.

  57. 57
  58. 58
    The Libor party says:

    Fingers in ears,shout ‘La-la-la-la-la-la-la’

  59. 59
    Casual Observer says:

    The link was the address given by Guido at the Speccie debate on Leveson the other day. It is very good.

    Plenty of good stuff out there yet to be unearthed and presented.

    Unfinished business on Oil 4 Food worth digging around: Particularly al Chalabi…

  60. 60
    Casual Observer says:

    Galloway is totally bent.

    Good question, but when he speaks about middle east there are only two questions worth asking him:

    i) What were your real motivations for lobbying the UN to set up oil for food, and why did you profit from this ?

    ii) Why did you refuse to testify at the Duelfer hearings.

    Until those are convincingly covered his words are weasel.

  61. 61
    The Economy says:

    I can shout louder.

  62. 62



  63. 63
    A Sun Reader says:

    ‘Get involved’. Is that behind you or in front of you, Guido?

  64. 64
    Satan says:

    Actually, I only took out a short lease with an option to renew.

  65. 65
    Human Resources, Wapping says:

    Define ‘journalist’.

  66. 66

    Prostitute !

    But i suppose the promotion prospects are really good , seems as most of the senior management will soon be in prison

  67. 67

    Never mind that. You are letting the head end drop!

  68. 68
    The British Public says:

    Who is Mr Duelfer and when did I get to vote for him?

  69. 69
    The British Public says:

    They won’t recognise him under all the make-up

  70. 70
    Maqboul says:

    He’ll need to put his foot down to get there at that time in the morning *titter*

  71. 71
    Maqboul says:

    Could even make Prime Minister one day with that sort of clout behind him.

  72. 72
    Chіna says:


    …and when Chіna says jump …

  73. 73
    Maqboul says:

    They think Geordies are posh FFS

  74. 74
    The devil's advocate says:

    Nemo dat quod non habet

  75. 75
    Jimmy says:

    Let’s face it, there are only so many ways to the the Sun downmarket.

    About time your loyalty was recognised.

  76. 76
    The Public who doesn't listen to speeches says:

    Dave can read an autocue? Who knew?

  77. 77
    Anonymous says:

    ita nos omnes iustus diligo unum et aliis

  78. 78
    the 'the' memorandum says:

    My my, Jimmy is still pissed from the night before.

  79. 79
    Anonymous says:

    Are souls flat fish?

  80. 80
    Polly Pot says:

    Guido is a Murdoch stooge! I knew it..Knew it all along..and for thee SUN too!

    Ohhh..I’ve wet bed. Not just the bed but the knickers, skirt, socks, shoes, rug, sheets,, side table, windows… Everything is soaked!

  81. 81
    Spike Milligan says:

    So they bought you
    And kept you in a
    Very good home
    Central heating
    A deep freeze
    A very good home –
    No one to take you
    For that very long run –
    But otherwise
    ‘A very good home’.
    They fed you Pal and Chum
    But not that lovely long run,
    Until, mad with energy and boredom
    You escaped – and ran and ran and ran
    Under a car.
    Today they will cry for you –
    Tomorrow they will buy another dog.

  82. 82
    STuN says:

    More likely he’ll be staying in a nice hotel close by that will appear on his expenses…

  83. 83
    Neil 'thieving welsh socialist' Kinnock says:

    We must stop these fuckers who want to expose us lining our own pockets from public money by pretending to care for the poor and vulnerable with only two flat screen TVs to rub together.

  84. 84
    Anonymous says:

    Despite all the politicking any way, any where, the UK plebs are just like sheep.

    They moan but too busy on their smartphones to really give a shit.

  85. 85
    Anonymous says:

    Taffy, you cuпt!

  86. 86
    The next guy says:

  87. 87
    btw says:

    Their fucking phones are way smarter than them.

  88. 88
    Casual Observer says:

    Google ISG : !raq Survey Group

    International investigative team, aka: The guys who showed for sure that !raq had no WMD, despite the dodgy dossier claims.

    Duelfer report was all about that.

  89. 89
    T. May Esq. says:

    Yankee go home.

  90. 90
    Watcher says:

    Ah, just like the Real World then?

  91. 91
    Attila the Hun and his set of heads on posts says:

    I love Hungarian cock, you bitch.

  92. 92
    TraceyJane says:

    No. He’s white.

  93. 93
    Labour education policy says:


  94. 94
    Ptolemy says:

    Please accept my humble apologies.


  95. 95
    The Irony Board says:

    Google: demoocracy and sense of hoomour.

  96. 96
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Read all about the Barnes guest house and the gay connections in the D mail today … umm

  97. 97
    Ed Miliband says:

    Do you realise that large sections of the population are still without 3D television and live more than 400m away from a cappucino machine?

    I demand an independent judge-led inquiry

  98. 98
    Motto says:

    If you don’t want to eat pork, don’t do the crime.

  99. 99
    Casual Observer says:

    Hmm… Came back: Chilcot.

  100. 100

    Dum spiro = stupid Greek politician

  101. 101
    Ed Balls, dog fondler says:

    So do I ! Nice one Ed.

  102. 102
    hissed as a jock pewt says:

    Don’t know if he’s Scottish, but I think you’ll find there’s a lot of scotch in him at any one time.

  103. 103
    albacore says:

    Go to it, Fawkes. Get the message across
    Tell ‘em that Parliament ain’t worth a toss
    Enlighten them on your avowed intent
    To explode the whole damned establishment

  104. 104

    The Sun = tramps toilet paper

  105. 105
    hissed as a jock pewt says:

    btw, I haven’t cleaned out my arse crack for months, tidy!!

  106. 106

    And there was me thinking that all prisoners liked a bit of “piggy” in the showers

  107. 107
    Anonymous says:

    says the tramp..

  108. 108
    One Euro Kebab Fish Person says:

    Golden Shower = Extreme National Socialists

  109. 109
    Attila the Hun and his set of heads on posts says:

    btw, rugby has always held a fascination for us welsh gayers, all that cock rubbing and fingering in the scrum etc.

  110. 110
    south7eventh says:

    I am sure that he has experience in driving at over 70 miles per hour towards Central London if he is late for court

  111. 111
    keredybretsa says:

    Knew him when he lived in a shoe carton on the embankment. Remember newspapers can keep you warm, try wearing a blog!!!!

  112. 112
    Disgraced Former Veep Agnew says:

    I resemble that remark!


  113. 113
    Guido in the Sun says:

    Sexy welder Madison Norks has a problem – every time she thinks of Nigel Farage, her boobs fall out!! Madison (pictured on holiday in Greece) said “I was doing a tricky bit of arc gouging when I seemed to see Nigel Farage’s face in the parent metal. Then I got a burning sensation on my chest and the blokes started laughing! It had happened again!!!”

  114. 114

    I thought you would be still munching pork in Peado jail you piss soaked tramp

  115. 115
    Putr1d Labour ruined my Country says:

    I think this is wonderful, just think of all those mozzies panicking when it’s their time.

  116. 116
    Anonymous says:

    says the tramp..

  117. 117
    A Firm Pair Of Breasts says:

    Guido sinks further…………

  118. 118
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Thought you were more into “The Five-Finger Exercise,” Rusty…

  119. 119

    It’s not a doppelganger < It's TaT the Piss soaked spaz tramp released from jail early to annoy you

  120. 120
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    Shame on you Guido!
    You will have a lobby pass next, you sell-out w@nker!

    I suppose you won’t be mentioning the blind-eye turning that the tabloids did when they all knew what Savile was up to at the BBC.

    But congrats on achieving you goal.
    By starting a blog and raising your own profile, you have proved that an amateur, with no training or experience of professional journalism, can get a column in a national newspaper. But then again, looking at the quality of the professional journos, you can’t be much worse.

  121. 121
    Owen Jones can spin in hell says:

    Question is, will Sun readers be able to tell the difference between a welfare transfer (benefit cut) and a new tax ?

  122. 122

    “Read Guido in the Sun Tomorrow”
    And there was me thinking the Sun had enough Tits

  123. 123
    Observer says:

    ‘Professional Journalism’? Two paired, but incompatible words surely?

  124. 124
    tit watch says:

    i wuv you lil frankie

  125. 125
    Attila the Fun and his set of heads on posts says:

    Ooer get her, look you, isn’t it duckie!!

  126. 126

    “Our Tilly the Nun” I see you sheep shaggers are taking a good rogering from the Irish in the rugby LoL

  127. 127
    old SHEP says:

    First the Star, then the Sun, next stop Daily Planet? (says mild mannered Clark Kent).

  128. 128
    If truth be told says:

    There isn’t one detractor on here who wouldn’t love to have a column this Sunday.

  129. 129
    Fake Guido says:

    You’re either in front of the Irish………

  130. 130
    Al Jolson says:

    If you want to do a song from the 1930’s, why don’t you do one of my famous hits– Hallelujah I’m A Bum!

    You already are one, in the British sense of the word, and before too much longer, in the American sense, too!

  131. 131
    The man on the Clapham Omnibus says:

    So you are no fucking off to write your own blog

    Most people think you should

  132. 132
    The man on the Clapham Omnibus says:

    Schrödinger’s cat = pseudo-intellectual twat

  133. 133

    Was hoping for something better from you. Is that really the best you have?

  134. 134

    Don’t bend down in front of the Welsh

  135. 135

    Pish! I have a column every day.

  136. 136
    old SHEP says:

    If you get your column out in the Sun, make sure you have plenty of factor 30+ UVA cream at hand (handy tips).

  137. 137
    MRS FAWKES says:

    With a bit of encouragement , He can usually muster a couple of column inches on a Sunday morning

  138. 138

    Rugger bugger? I’ll stick to my sombrero mate!

  139. 139
    Curly says:

    You forgot the hose – obviously!

  140. 140

    Noli me tangere = I don’t wish to dance with you

  141. 141
    Kebab Time says:

    Indeed, an old queen like me takes what she can. Le sigh………. :(

  142. 142
    Curly says:

    Universal studios [doorman]?

  143. 143
    MB. says:

    It’s all relative, the majority of Scots live in Central Scotland, i.e. around Glasgow or Edinburgh, and those in the Highlands and North think of those in Central Scotland as Southerners.

  144. 144
    dangerous times says:

    Doubtless the compensation bill will run into tens of millions.

  145. 145

    Terminus ad quem = boring poster from a small town in Romania travelling to his cottaging rendezvous.

  146. 146
    In soviet Russia... says:

  147. 147

    Never mind. A Welshman is no more than an Irishman who can swim reasonably well.

  148. 148
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Never forget the Hillsborough – cover up – now where is that creep Kelvin of an informer Mackenzie editor who ‘smeared on command’ for his proprietor and the pigs?

  149. 149

    The weather we are having mate , A flat cap will do

  150. 150

    Naturally, I would not wish to speak out of turn but may I take it that you are not absolutely and completely struck by our host’s new venture, Frankie? :-)

  151. 151

    @Frankie. I can lend you my inflatable LOL!

  152. 152

    Is it easy to erect ? lol

  153. 153
    Blowing Whistles says:

    The word prostitute is atop this particular blog … umm

    are you just another moneygrubberscrubber?

  154. 154

    No way mate The Sun is second rate Arse Wipe

  155. 155
    SaltPetre says:

    Nobody in Liverpool will buy a copy…..but they might steal a few.

  156. 156
    Blowing Whistles says:

    A word of advice – ‘watch yer back’ and don’t be caught out entrapment / blackmail etcetera by the NI lawyers who well … work for the devil and his coin himself.

  157. 157
    William Webb Ellis...blame the Six nations on me says:

    Is there a Rugby Match being played then ???

  158. 158

    To be honest, it never comes down in the summer. I just smear some axle grease over it for protection. :-)

  159. 159

    You think that highly of it? :-D

  160. 160
    Perry White ,,,I know nothing says:

    Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen arrested under Operation Elveden for paying Metropolis Police Commissioner Henderson for the low down on Superman’s relationship with Lex Luther

  161. 161
    Blowing Whistles says:

    I know I have been stating all sorts of nasty (but true) stuff at Rupee and his coke loving stupid son – for months and months now – but I will take heart that they can’t take it any more and will thus influence you to ban me at some point in the next few weeks …. for other reasons …. [That’s how it works innit Guido?]

  162. 162
    England says:

    You could always rouse yourself by reciting some stirring welsh prose;
    e.g Max Boyce, (i was there)

  163. 163
    Owin Jones says:

    Guido, are you really some comedy character.?Whatever you say, tweet or write just makes me burst into laughter?

  164. 164
    Not Blowing Whistles says:

    Plenty of other fish out there.

    A simple atonement for ones sins may be to point out, vociferously, that Guido is better than Piers Moron and point out that Fox are totally right about Owen Jones.

  165. 165
    Blowing Whistles says:

    So like a prostitute or a lawyer he will be ‘soliciting’ [the trade of] for his new pimp on sunday ….

  166. 166
    Baroness Warsi says:


  167. 167
    Anonymous says:

    every man has his price

  168. 168
    or well donkey benjamine says:

    get involved?
    direct action against those pigs on their uppity ‘two legs better’ bad hypocrisy?

    can guido blow the sun sharade shard sky high
    from the inside
    double agent
    or is he all hot air

    move along there
    its all establishment negativity here now
    nothing 2 c

  169. 169
    Corporate Whistles says:

    Moving forward, calling on Super-Rupee to get the Sun to say: Vote UKIP is a must.

    All should join in hoping that the scourge of Labour induced drug addictions are stamped out and sympathy and hope is a whistle worth blowing for all who are taking the right steps to beating this evil.

  170. 170
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Rumours are starting to abound that – it is really Sam Cam who is pushing / forcing davey dooolittle to quickly pass through the gaybo marriage thing – must be some history behind it all …

  171. 171
    JabbaTheCat says:

    Didn’t realise they could read and write in Liverpool?

  172. 172
    Lou Scannon says:

    But aren’t Omaha and other so-called leaders pushing the same line ?
    Does this mean that Sam is already ruler of the world ?

  173. 173
    Martin Day says:

    According to Guido Fawkes O.B.E, the issue of gay marriage is causing Conservative members to leave the party in significant numbers.

    Guido Fawkes claimed that as many as 100 members had revoked their affiliation in some constituencies.

    Grant Shapps is quoted as saying: “There’s serious unrest in the grassroots. You cannot avoid the fact that the troops are unhappy. People are drifting away,and the blame lies fairly and squarely with that dickhead,David Cameron.”

  174. 174
    Le Poof says:

    French Assembly has voted for opening marriage to same sex couples! 249 votes for, 97 against

  175. 175
    Reverend Dick says:

    We are gathered here today,
    In the sight of Elton John,
    And in the face of family and friends,
    To join together in holy bumsex;
    Which is an honorable estate,
    Instituted of the party of Dave, since the top
    Man and the bottom Man
    Walked on the earth.

    THEREFORE, it is not to be
    Entered into unadvisedly,
    Or lightly without a condom.

    But reverently and soberly.
    Into this Holy chocolate starfish,
    These two persons present shall
    Cum now to be joined.

    If any one can show just cause
    Why they may not be lawfully
    Joined together in holy bumsex, let them speak now, or forever be call a Bigot.

    Ahmen men men men.

  176. 176
    rumpleforeskin says:

    well done Guido, go get the fuckers

  177. 177

    My arse reads the Sun ,in small segments lol

  178. 178
    rumpleforeskin says:

    now kiss the reeking angel’s arse

  179. 179

    Does she need emptying when her nose starts to run ?

  180. 180
    Hayley, 18 from Essex says:

    Guido will be a great addition to The Sun team. He will help me keep abreast of the latest goings on in Westminster.

  181. 181
  182. 182
    Jim'll Fix It, ca. 1977 says:

    Now then, now then, as it happens, we have a letter from ten-year-old Pa*ul Harrow in Sta*ines– ermm, sorry, that should be Pa*ul Sta*ines in Harrow, forgive me, lad– “Dear Jimmy: I am on my school newspaper, and I want to be a reporter when I grow up, hopefully for one of Rupert Murdoch’s newspapers. I’d like to follow you around for a few days and write about what happens, and maybe sell the story beyond my little school paper. Can Jim fix it for me?” Pa*ul, lad, I couldn’t do that, for you see, aside from being on the telly and making public app*earances to raise money for my many charities, the sad fact is, I have no life– strictly a Mama’s boy, that’s me! Tea and biscuits with the Duchess every night! I know, I know, you must think a handsome manly bloke like me must have zillions of girlfriends and go out on the town every night, but no, not for old Jimbo– the Ma would never stand for it! So you see, Pa*ulie lad, I’d just bore you to death, and I couldn’t have that on my conscience, now could I? Funny thing, conscience… say, Pa*ul, by any chance, do you like gladiator flicks?”

  183. 183

    Our mate Guido he is a fool
    he’s only got a teenie weenie tool
    It’s alright for key holes , and little girlies wee holes
    Cause a Sun columnist is he

  184. 184
    hank the cat says:

    I have never heard a welshman say “rugger” always rugby or the game. You are giving youself away you Brummie phuckwit

  185. 185
    David Uphill Cameron says:

    I’ve just seen a sex-education film about how babies are made.
    That’s stretching the bounds of credibility.

  186. 186
    Wally Wombat says:

    I was not aware that people who bought the SUN could actually read. Guido is wasting his writing talent on these plebs.

  187. 187
    Gog says:

    Taffy, ffuc off, please.

  188. 188
    Michael Gove says:

    I think you will find that rather more Sun readers know where their elbow is these days.

  189. 189
    must be a conspiracy? says:

    what have they got against a bit of bum sex?

  190. 190
    Blowing Whistles says:

    I don’t reallly wonder if a certain female judge by the name of Stephenson in the Barnet cour.t some years ago gave a judgment against someone to protect rupee & son’s’ Corporate interests when they switched yet another little business vehicle of their’s from the UK over to Luxembourg … for taxing purposes.

    Investigative journalists of the UK – huh!!!

  191. 191
    Casual Observer says:

    Is Sam Cam Common Purpose ?

  192. 192
    Tom Pride says:

    “The UN should aim to drastically reduce the numbers of people living in extreme poverty worldwide by allowing richer nations to bomb them with unmanned drones more easily, David Cameron said at the close of a UN conference called to set out the world’s next development goals.

    Mr Cameron also said the primary aim of the new UN goals should be to provide aid and assistance to governments of impoverished nations so they will be able to kill off their poorest citizens much more efficiently and quickly than they can at present.

    The prime minister stressed that – while eradication of world poverty was possible within our generation – it would require much more responsible killing of poor people by the richest countries of the world, including greater transparency of collateral damage to civilians.

    To illustrate Britain’s commitment in the fight against extreme poverty, Mr Cameron announced a string of measures to help alleviate poverty in some of the most impoverished countries in North Africa – measures which include bombing their villages from the sky with unmanned drones and selling their governments even more sophisticated arms to kill them with.”

  193. 193
    Poek Hal-Al meat for all says:

    Deserting the Star and joining Toby Young eh, or is it a column in each paper. Good luck to you either way.

  194. 194
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Obambi is still pushing the Al Gore 5hit on climate change …

    Does Camoron – have any guts to stand up to being ‘told’ what to do by some yankees … ugh No.

    I refer to Lord Stansteds brilliant quote … which has been up for days:-

    “If the US think so much of the EU then WTF don’t they join it?”

  195. 195
    Blowing Whistles says:

    The UN is nothing more than a ‘gigantic corporate placepersons talking shop’ – It is infested with too many people with too many hidden agendas and is always lobbied and swayed by the corporate & political criminals atop the piles of 5hit.

  196. 196
    EU Watch says:

    Seems like Ch!na is getting into the Mosque building business:

    Something the BBC are definitely not reporting about Algeria which is interesting:


    Note the loss of trade to EU here on the other infrastructure projects as well…

  197. 197
    UN Watch says:

    Always thought it was the accepted venue for expressions of international hate to be vented myself.

  198. 198

    It will now have different St aines, I suppose!

  199. 199
    Serious Note To Guido says:

    Owen Jones would do well to read Orwell’s NewSpeak addendum as most of what Jones writes is fiction.

    However, Owell’s 1946 essay: ‘Politics and the English Language’ is much better to throw at him:


  200. 200
    Yew Fat Tuat says:

    Or their wrist.

  201. 201
    Owin Jones says:

    Even my loo is too good for The Sun !

  202. 202
    Left foot backward says:

    Guido do you intend to be some kind of Trojan horse or a horse’s arse?

    Of course it’s all the same to me and none of my business as I buy neither the Sun or your blog.

  203. 203
    Everybody's heard about the bird says:

  204. 204

    So unless you prefer the bigger pair of tits in the Sun, buy the Daily Star Sunday… February 25, 2012

    Oh dear! The things we sometimes say:


    Still, I have said things I later regretted and I guess we all have…

  205. 205
    Uncommon Knowledge says:

    “Since the dawn of history the Negro has owned the continent of Africa — rich beyond the dream of poet’s fancy, crunching acres of diamonds beneath his bare black feet and yet he never picked one up from the dust until a white man showed to him its glittering light.

    His land swarmed with powerful and docile animals, yet he never dreamed a harness, cart, or sled.

    A hunter by necessity, he never made an axe, spear, or arrowhead worth preserving beyond the moment of its use. He lived as an ox, content to graze for an hour.

    In a land of stone and timber he never sawed a foot of lumber, carved a block, or built a house save of broken sticks and mud.

    With league on league of ocean strand and miles of inland seas, for four thousand years he watched their surface ripple under the wind, heard the thunder of the surf on his beach, the howl of the storm over his head, gazed on the dim blue horizon calling him to worlds that lie beyond, and yet he never dreamed a sail.”

    ~Charles Darwin

  206. 206
    Penny Dreadful says:

    I think the way Western Imperialists and their capitalist industrialist big corporations exploit the poor of the third world is disgraceful. We need a firm hard-left (indeed, Communist) government to stop this atrocious and inexcusable exploitation of hard-working poor people.

    Sent from my iPad.

  207. 207
    Onwed Jones says:

    My name’s welsh, and I’m on the game. Does that prove your point?

  208. 208
    Alastair Campbell Murderer says:


    I deeply regret saying (many years ago) the words, “Could I test-drive the Ford Granada you’ve got on the forecourt?”

    Almost as much as I regret saying, later, “OK, I’ll buy it.”

  209. 209
    Harriet Harman says:


  210. 210
    Owin Jones says:

    Happy Groundhog Day, Everyone.

  211. 211
    Casual Observer says:

    Do you think he may have just graduated from Common Purpose ?

  212. 212
    T'Old Fella says:

    Fawksy defininity NOT but of course tour rabid fans and window lickers will start buying The Sun, they will be a little disappointed that they will not see all the soft porn in the Star and only getting the very soft porn in the Sun.

  213. 213

    What an awful thing to say.

    *goes off to have a shower*

  214. 214
    EU Watch says:

    Removing opposition by depriving funding is a favored trick of many tyrannical regimes to suppress dissent. Communists did this as well:


    Unintended consequence of state funding for political parties being corrected to prevent far right funding. If the state is going to fund parties it’s either all in or it isn’t democracy.

  215. 215
    Blowing even more whistles says:

    Cherie Blair, Sarah Brown and Sam Cam, pillow talking their husbands over issues involving gays, climate change and immigration….you bet ya!

  216. 216
    Someone Had To Do The Obvious Joke Here says:

    Often on a daily basis, on these very pages.
    Left yourself wide open for that one, Cat.
    Your post of 5:00 pm presumably includes itself, as well. And none of your Lord Russell flim-flam and flummery!

  217. 217
    raining croatian rent boys says:

    That would be a golden shower folks!!

  218. 218
    Scouser says:

    They can’t Jabba. Illiterate barstewards the Scousers and, of course, eternal victims!

  219. 219
    Tachybaptus says:

    Yes, for all Darwin’s intelligence and humanity, this is the casual, unthinking bigotry of the 19th century. He should have heard of the the large (though now deserted and ruined) city of Great Zimbabwe, first reported by Europeans in the 16th century; there are many other smaller stone-built towns of the same type. However, the magnificent Benin bronzes were not known until 1897, when a punitive British military expedition burned Benin city, bringing the kingdom of Benin to an end, and looted the works of art, most of which ended up in the British Museum.

  220. 220
    who will rid us of these poxy skanks? says:

    Sc and Mad Frankie, the Deаn Gаffnеy and Kеrry Kаtonа of order_order.com.

  221. 221

    By your words shall ye be revealed. Thanks for clarifying that.

    The self-reference in my comment might be regarded by some as integrity. Not for me to say of course.

  222. 222
    when begin the Begin? says:

    Er, is that it?

  223. 223
    Casual Observer says:

    Just a touch of irony, but with such radical hiring going on, all options should be on the table to be considered.

    Would be hilarious if he had though as per your 5th Column allusion:


  224. 224
    Anonymous says:

    an outstanding achievement.
    skillfully attracted.
    congratulations for mastering the game.
    Hope it leads to greater fulfillment.

  225. 225
    The Clitheroe Kid says:

    Umm-ya Pete

  226. 226

    Ah! The grappa was good!

  227. 227
    fitz fitz says:

    Well done ! Guy joins MARY BEARD in Rupert’s stable …

  228. 228
    fitz fitz says:

    Mary Beard’s commentary is awaited …

  229. 229
    old SHEP says:


  230. 230
    fitz fitz says:

    …. and most annoying of all, that Spanish woman badgering Clegg non stop …

  231. 231
    Anonymous says:

    go further back and you may well find the start of the illusory world of the present. It may well have started 5000 years ago in India.

    Only Higher awareness will reveal the truth. in the world of Ministry of Truth, Love and what not, meditation is the path to patient learning. Impatient folks have Forbes, the billionaires website as a path.

    It is worth noting that billionaire owner and chair of the Indian Zee TV Group was emotionally referred not so long ago as the “jewel of India”. So he may well end up running Sector 4 of George Alduous Huxley Orwell’s Brave New World. True Genius is behind the grand design….with

  232. 232
    Ratsniffer says:

    Will I be able to read your column in The Sun without handing my shilling to Rupert? Or is the website behind a paywall?

  233. 233
    Ratsniffer says:

    Marry the two of them and you get Guido fawkes Beard.

  234. 234
    Blowing Whistles says:

    It hammers the Gays as being – predominantly child abusers you twat.

  235. 235
    BBC Brainwashing says:

    Congratulations Guido.

    You will be able to expose the Socialist pocket-lining troughers to an even bigger audience than BBC News 24.

  236. 236
    Blowing Whistles says:

    During the reign of terror – the Labour party – controlled the funding for FTAC who acted in cahoots with SO19 officers. Thus any dissent (Calling them for instance: Commie Marxists etc) fired at the Labour party was closed down by those totally dependent upon their ‘funding’ to do the dirty work ‘at arms length’ on the dissenters.

    FTAC – has been closed down – but that does not mean that the coalition haven’t got their own at arms length goons who will do similar.

  237. 237
    Blowing Whistles says:

    You’ve been had then …. but you’re not the first.

  238. 238
    Blowing Whistles says:

    No we fucking do not need a commie fist. We need mechanisms and proper ‘laws’ to deal with the greedy profiteers and extortionists when they get out of hand.

    Proper checks and balances on those at the top of Government & in the 5hitty of London – such that they are prevented from being ‘coersed into’ turning a blind eye for their friends’ interests. [I could go on but decline to]

    Thankfully – I don’t do double dutch or fucking Latin to unconsicously big myself up.

    Kudos to the blogger who twatted SC last night for his rampant yakking on with his knowledge of latin – which no one actually gives a fuck about. Perhaps SC will get the message – I hope.

    Mind you there’s a bloke in the US who is 100 fold worse – I decline to name him save Kenn – the f-wit lost in his bubble of laws of 1000 years ago – which mean diddly squat to people today.

  239. 239
    Blowing Whistles says:

    SC – I am not alone then.

    Just tone done your effing high and mighty 5hit & Latin and you might endear yourself to others.

    What says you about lawyers and the taxation of their bills / costs / in court etc – I for one know that they are running a racket where they are desperately seeking favours from their predecessors who have been uplifted into higher realms?

  240. 240
    Fuido Gawkes says:

    I fully intend to start a campaign to bring back the page 7 fella.

    And now for something completely different… here is a scan of a snippet purported to originate from The Guardian newspaper. The date bandied about is the 26th June 1997 but I can not confirm that absolutely.

    Apparently the writer of that letter has a 3 inch thick solid steel front door! I wonder why? What treasures and fruits lay beyond it…

  241. 241
    Blowing Whistles says:

    And Cherie Booth has been Tony’s beard. While Tony was Rupert’s puppet.

  242. 242
    Blowing Whistles says:

    And of course – who’s puppet is Rupert?

  243. 243
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Any Adult who forces / coerses a child into having sex (does a child of 9 years old generally know anything about sex other than nothing) especially a parent is abusing that child.

    Tatchell and his legions of abusers are making up a feeble excuse to do what is in his and their mindset.

    Do male dogs actively set out to bugger one another – no they don’t Male Dogs sniff out their femal counterparts.

    Tatchell and his militant political homosexuals and all homosexuals need to work out that back in the 60’s and 70’s when homo acts were illegal / criminal – that many criminals (of that time) were using homosexuality to blackmail many people – for many reasons. It seems that the MSM and the political classes do not want to have an open public discussion about the issues underlying the homomafias – dirtier games of yesteryears – but the public are having the discussions – and the public are not going to be brow beaten by those who have hidden agendas / have had hidden agendas.

    e.g. Lord Browne Ex Ceo of BP – are there questions to be asked of if he was swayed in directions because of his ‘secrets’? [This is where the criminality comes in]

  244. 244
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Leadership plots or not – Cameron is a fucking useless puppet and is shown to be just that.

    The sooner you Tory’s kick his ‘young gun’ stoopid ass types [plural there] into touch the better.

  245. 245
    Blowing Whistles says:

    We have the dead tree press – and we have the “dead wood” of political machinations still hanging around from the reign of terror.

    Best – get rid of the “dead wood politicals” – from the labour tory and lib dem parties – before we can get any sense or truth out of any of them.

  246. 246
    Jimmy says:

    I think I deserve some credit for predicting this when it launched.

  247. 247
    Jimmy says:

    So everyone, the line is that he’s just another one of those torygraph Labour stooges. Don’t argue, just retweet it.

  248. 248
    Billericay Dickey says:

    I would – Spanish women go like fucking trains.

  249. 249
    VERITAS says:

    Reading is not a universal skill in Merseyside only weeping for themselves

  250. 250
    Alex says:


  251. 251

    I have no wish to endear myself to others. I am not an ego nutjob, nor a politician, nor obsessive about anything. I don’t give a monkeys about lawyers’ fees despite having paid dearly for them in the past. It is not my worry any more.

    Latin should be kept alive and I use it where appropriate and sometimes make a joke about it as it may encourage some to learn or indeed re-learn.

    That is not the sign of a closed mind but an open one. You are attempting to censor me. That is the sign of a closed mind, not an open one. Take your blinkers off, man!

  252. 252
    Matilda says:

    Not like puffing b*lly then…

  253. 253
    T'Old Fella says:

    Many years ago I wrote an email to one of the Liebore ministerial ask a minster thingies, I suggested that if they wanted folks with health problems to go back work that badly, they could indemnify companies if an accident occured due to the person with the health problems illness collapsing or other such problem, I received no reply. It is wonderful when you are going through esculating increasing doses of medication, works for 11/2 months then away we go again, all drugs have side effects (as no doubt Guido and Gideon probably know) and people do not always understand.

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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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