January 23rd, 2013

Joe Watts to the Standard


  1. 1
    EU? In out shake it all about says:

    London village talk again.

    As if the world revolves around it – give me strength!

  2. 2
    Greek in London after Cameron's EU speech says:

    ψηφίσουν ΣΥΡΙΖΑ.

  3. 3
    Pootal says:

    Does Dawn know her crack is being swapped for Norfolk?

  4. 4

    Is Dawn on the editorial staff, and do the Standard HAVE a relationship policy?

  5. 5

    Whale oil.

    Beef hooked.

  6. 6
    CarryHole is a Dismal Hunt says:

    Standard UN corruption. No need for BBC reporting.


  7. 7

    I’m sorry, but you’ve exceeded the Greek blogging budget for this quarter – please insert here how many redundancies and/or savings you can make.

  8. 8
  9. 9
    Wooden nickel meets real life says:

    I thought the world was going to fall apart and Britain would fall down a big hole if people mentioned removing or even talking about removing Britain from the clutches of the EU, still a nice day, snowing but we are still doing what we do, living, breathing and working .

  10. 10
  11. 11
    Vote UKIP says:

    Clegg the Smeg says that it is not in our nation’s interest to have a referendum on Europe. But surely it is exactly in our nation’s interest to untie ourselves from a lumbering dinosaur with a dodgy leg. It is this sick dinosaur which has damaged the British economy just as much as the banks did. Outside the EU we are free to trade on our own terms with the rest of the world many parts of which are blooming with heath. And we won’t have to pay them £10billion a year for the privilege.

  12. 12
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    Tell us about your village then if it is so much more exciting…..

  13. 13

    Say it out loud – it’ll make sense then.

  14. 14
    Anonymous says:

    Switzerland rejected full EU membership in a referendum about ten years ago and it’s doing well economically.

  15. 15
    CarryHole is a Dismal Hunt says:

    You want to vote for the Far left? That would be very dumb.

  16. 16
    CarryHole is a Dismal Hunt says:

    Greece did the opposite and the opposite of Switzerland’s economy happened.

  17. 17
    Herman van Rumboy says:

    Your Country contributes a net £ 10,000,000,000,00 per annum to the EU. You don’t seriously think we’re going to allow you to walk out of this blessed Union without paying alimony, do you ??

    By the way, we’ll ensure that it’s an acrimonious separation.

  18. 18
    Connoisseur says:

    Whale tails are best.

  19. 19
    EU? In out shake it all about says:

    A lamb got it’s head trapped in a fence, but thankfully a passer-by noticed it bleating and struggling and released it, but not before she got her iphone out and took a pic.

    And that is the headlines news from my village, and now the weather…

  20. 20
  21. 21
    Oil for Fraud says:

    Now, no one look too closely into how Blair / Labour may have benefited from the various scams which were run under that program. Red hot.

  22. 22
    Rat's arse says:

    :) Thanks Bootiful!

  23. 23
    Norfolf 83a5t says:

    Dont know who he is nor care
    probably a ten 5 twenty three by the looks of him

  24. 24
    EU? In out shake it all about says:

    We’ll survive….

  25. 25
    CarryHole is a Dismal Hunt says:

    Separations are best if acrimonious, it reminds you why you’re better off apart.

  26. 26
    Norfolf 83a5t says:

    What is Belgium going to do ?
    Invade us???
    You probably could you have more guns a nd we have Neville Camberlain in Number 10 waving bits of paper all whilst his wife is getting a good seeing to from a turkish parking salesman

  27. 27
    Kebab time gives me a boner says:

    Cutcock – don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.

  28. 28
    Zorba the beast says:

    Which camp are you in?

  29. 29
    Rip Van Winkle says:


  30. 30
    EU? In out shake it all about says:

    The Swiss still have all the money hidden from dead nazzies, and making interest money on it. HONEST!

    JA! Honistich!

  31. 31
    Hoping that Chris gets all that he deserves says:

    Has Mr Justice Sweeney allowed the reporting of any Huhne news beyond him being a bit of a knob?

  32. 32
    Silent Bob says:

  33. 33
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    The down trodden, bitter and twisted John Mann, is pontificating his usual shit, on BBC Parliament.

  34. 34
    Norfolk 'n good says:

    Was it just rescued or did some village pervert have their wicked way before attempting the rescue?

  35. 35
    EU? In out shake it all about says:

    christ, sorry for that last vid… should come with an EU warning… asthma or not, laughing.

  36. 36
    EU? In out shake it all about says:

    boy scouts : )

  37. 37
    Anonymous says:

    More developments from Germany: a close Merkel ally has called for an immediate British referendum on EU membership because Mr Cameron is unlikely to get the renegotiation he wants.

    Gunther Krichbaum, the chairman of the Bundestag’s powerful European committee, told German MPs that Britain should get on with a vote .

    “There’s no reason to delay the decision because all the arguments are on the table,” he said.

    “There is and can be no renegotiation in Cameron’s sense.”
    Mr Krichbaum also attacked the PM’s timing for a referendum, after 2015 during a period when the eurozone would trying to create “fiscal union”.

    “While others switch into fourth gear, Cameron goes into reverse gear,” he said.


  38. 38
    Anteating beast says:

    The evidence is circumstancial
    All I can say is that women like that kind of thing ergo it is not sensible
    Muzzies also enjoy a spot of genital mutilation more evidence, however,at least they are gender neutral on the issue
    Personally I am quite happy that “the beast” is intact as God intended

  39. 39
    Moussa Koussa Mark 5 says:

    Who is Joe Watts

    Lost your job in the army, Lloyds, flybe today

    No worries P/T roles are available at MacDonalds

  40. 40
    get your kit off beast says:

    Just told Hune to put his bra on, make a cup of tea and fire up the Granada

  41. 41
    Ask the question says:

    But John the blacklists occurred when labour were in power. What did labour do about the issue? John, you’ve gone all quiet.

  42. 42
    old SHEP says:

    Those were the days, getting up at the crack of Dawn, fond memories.

  43. 43
    albacore says:

    Would you join a club so openly bent
    Its accounts are always too fraudulent
    For its own auditors to certify
    That they’re owt at all but pie in sky?
    Funny, ain’t it, Parliament’s well aware?
    It shirley can’t be that they just don’t care


  44. 44
    CarryHole is a Dismal Hunt says:

    Your insane EUSSR supporting ramblings are one of the best things for us EUSSRskeptics.

    You even support preventing people from working which you ludicrously think will lower unemployment!

  45. 45
    EU? In out shake it all about says:

    Cameron being shagged up the arse by Merkel? hmmm, interesting.

    Cameron is an amateur, so he better give in to her.

  46. 46
    Steve (ex-Labour) says:

    The perpetual arsonist criticising the fire brigade.

    Do one Moussa – your tribal incessant fuckwittery is as boring as Ed Miliband.

    Yawntastic creep.

  47. 47
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    “Who is Joe Watts”
    Or, for that matter, Watts a Joe Who?
    (I’m sure Bud Abbott and Lou Costello could have had a lot of fun with this one.)

  48. 48
    EU? In out shake it all about says:

    Suspiciously, a couple of young lads with wellies on were seen walking away before, and the lamb did look seriously distressed, more than what you would think for getting it’s head stuck in the fence.

    Always more in a story than you think, ey? And it is heard that certain she did delete certain photos took before, when the sheep police turned up to investigate.

  49. 49
    Owen Jones says:

    How’s that tinfoil hat treating you?

  50. 50
    Iain Duncan Smith says:

    I don’t like my bald head because women don’t find too many bald fellas sexy.
    Luckily, I have a hairy arse and can walk around on my hands instead.

  51. 51
    Wanka! says:

    You have a dismal taste in music, that’s for sure. Kind of working class poof meets Jimmy Savile’s now then, now then, TOTP generation. Putrid and inane.

  52. 52
    Archer Karcher says:

    All socialists are dim, it’s in their sheep genes.

  53. 53
    EU Watch says:

    Cheaper bio-ethanol would be better for the UK and other countries having issues with austerity:


    Looks like EU doesn’t like cheap fuel. And we are not having a referendum because ?

  54. 54
    EU? In out shake it all about says:

    CarryHole – with all I say about ze suiss, I am lucky next time I visit there that I will get through their customs without my bowel being evacuated and prodded – mmmm, yes…. : )

  55. 55
    Meanwhile outside the Westminster wankfest says:

    “Regular readers may remember Joe’s online incarnation”…..Regular readers may not give a fuckity fuck more like !

  56. 56
    Dave"The One Term Prime Minister" Cameron says:

    Some bastards wrote ‘RETARD’ in the snow on my car windscreen this morning.

    It took me 2 fucking hours to lick it off!!

  57. 57
    EU Watch says:

    And the Ch!nese are figuring out:

    2 million vacances + 20% under 25 unemployment = Screwed education system

    – On balance maybe not fair as it assumes the job vacancies are real, but they may have a point.


  58. 58
    SP4BS says:

    “Cheap bioethanol” means pouring money into farmer’s pockets.

    Having read the story it seems that the EU has more sense than the USA. wow.

  59. 59
    EU? In out shake it all about says:

    Sorry Melanie for taking die pisse, but it had to be done with eine suisee,

  60. 60
    UKID says:

    Were they Ukippers then?

  61. 61
    EU? In out shake it all about says:

    More spurious names the better, giving influence to Joe Bloggs, I say.

    Sends MI5 round in circles and up their own bumhole, at least, bullying us. Ey?

  62. 62

    I won’t be able to state my party’s position on the In/Out referendum until I’ve got my orders from my union paymasters.

  63. 63


    Was wondering whether we could have a philately section. We could then discuss how much the British Guiana 1c black on magenta would be worth if only we had one…

  64. 64
    EU? In out shake it all about says:

    and that was the reaction I was hoping for – a WUM/troll through the stage door, my dear.

  65. 65
    SP4BS says:

    you’d have to worry more about france.

    They’ll release mercaptans in our general direction.

  66. 66
    EU? In out shake it all about says:

    no, just average taffy bestials, as we over here all are, given half a chance.

  67. 67
    David Cameron says:

    I will vote to stay in Europe.

    So all you arse bandits out there whose sacks are filling up and ready to explode into our faces.

    Kindly fuck off, suckers.

  68. 68
    old SHEP says:


  69. 69
    Watt Standards. says:

    Another sub standard journalist with no morals aboards the gravy train.

  70. 70
  71. 71
    The savant10.4 highway patrol says:

    Twenty plus years ago actually . 1992. Circa .

  72. 72
    EU? In out shake it all about says:

    By the way UKID, and my Taffy kindrid, I am only joshing, so a song for us, for the welsh red/white tudor rose, from the sixteenth century, when we ruled GB, unionised, wales and england then that is, Scots 1702 afterwards, and properly introduced sex, in a bed, sung in french then, by a welsh group now.

    We are clever buggers us welsh, but ok, through recent times, so we have been backwards in going forwards.

    Tell them Anne…

  73. 73
    Polly Pot says:

    Just saw Sally bending over in the gym… fanny like a bucket.

  74. 74
    The savant10.4 highway patrol says:

    Could you define that. Figure in. Words please. Mister. Rumpy bumboy ???

    I am not very good with excessive zeros .

  75. 75
    Little Johnny B13COW says:

    She’s down-sized then. Last time I was there it was like being on the Eurostar.

  76. 76
    EU? In out shake it all about says:

    oops, the white paper was 1702, act in 1707 of course. Sorry scots,

  77. 77
    Polly Pot says:

    Bi ethanol is the greenest green dream.

    it ticks all the greeny boxes.

    Its subsidy heavy and forces UP both food and fuel prices, whilst restricting the spread of that wicked, life saving, GM foodstuffs. it makes the poor poorer and the metropolitan chatterati smugly satisfied.

    I bathe in bio fuel its soooooo green.

  78. 78
    The savant10.4 highway patrol says:

    Sorry. . Confused.

    Is that similar to a four. By two ??

  79. 79
    Every reader says:


  80. 80
    zoom says:

    TaT never makes much sense. Its the autism.

  81. 81
    The savant10.4 highway patrol says:

    Of course. Not. .

    He s going to get off.

    And I. Do. Mean in the legal sense .

    Although what he does with himself afterwards is of course his own ” affair”.

  82. 82
    EU? In out shake it all about says:

    Qui, Anne of a Thousand Days – Richard Burton should have an Oscar for that back in ’69, and not that yank vietnam supporting republican John Wayne for that western bullshit.

  83. 83
    Anonymous says:

    There are rules to leaving that could be quite severe in reality. That is why it should not be via a referendum. If Cameron just tried the negotiation for both staying and leaving we could leave or stay on good terms soon.

    However, why would anyone wait until the EU implodes. The world would be better off if there was a few calming influences around when the EU collapses.

    The USSR started the breakup after 58 years and was gone after another 11. The EU has a long history but the basis was put together in 1967. That makes it 51 years old in 5 years time.

    Every uncontrolled, unfettered large government has self-destructed in the past. If they did not we would have a world government by now.

    Also as communication and travel times have shrunk the time to destruction shrinks. It is better to get out now, and allow them to last a lot longer as a smaller system. A friendly exit for the good of the EU would be best for all.

  84. 84
    The savant10.4 highway patrol says:


    Don t you mean to say.

    Getting UP the crack. AT. Dawn ??

  85. 85
    EU? In out shake it all about says:

    henry eight had syphils due to his philanderings, and that is why he went bonkers, and how so many of his children died, and some wives, with heads.

    Lizzy One from Anne’s loins was a marvellous exception, scatter gun of health.

  86. 86
  87. 87
    EU Watch says:

    Would have been better to go to WTO on this one, otherwise all the EU have done is reinforced one of the component costs of fuel across the EZ and US exports will be redirected else where. This could lead to some reciprocal action which would be much more damaging.

    Suspect further that the odd subsidy the US are paying in this case may become evident in other areas as they attempt to regain their export markets.

    There are other reasons as well that the US may have wanted to undercut other producers in order to put them out of business. Production of ethanol in Asia to meet this demand has led to the destruction of much rain forest and turned land previously used for food production over to fuel production. Some of the effects of this are starting to be felt right now.

  88. 88
    Bercowitz Howitzer says:

    Traditionally it’s likened to shoving a banana up and down Piccadilly.

  89. 89
    get your kit off beast says:

    Its fun
    thats all
    High camp
    Pretty sure that EU and I get more flange than will ever get

  90. 90
    EU Metric Obergruppenfuhrer says:

    You Imperialists are sooo yesterday. 100mm x 50mm is the correct term

  91. 91
    old SHEP says:

    Of Dawn, I know what I meant.

  92. 92
    EU? In out shake it all about says:

    Anyone been to Hever Castle in Kent? It is home from home for us welsh crachach perverts – young home of Anne bach, Bolyne, shagging english horsey ladies.


  93. 93
    EU? In out shake it all about says:

    South Americans rivers flow, but only for now.

  94. 94
    EU? In out shake it all about says:

    some like a grapefruit, yes, that large up west.

  95. 95
    EU? In out shake it all about says:

    some like a grape fruit, yes, that large the corner from there.

  96. 96
    EU? In out shake it all about says:

    some like a grape fruit, yes, that largeup the corner from there

  97. 97
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    Summer down there at the moment, innit?

  98. 98
    EU? In out shake it all about says:

    i give up, london fruit merchants!

  99. 99
    EU? In out shake it all about says:

    Yes, but how hot? Heard they are frying in Oz. South Africa is ok though, seems to be.

  100. 100
    EU? In out shake it all about says:

    Melbourne, Oz, sweating their cobs off,

  101. 101
    Anonymous says:

    My Great Granny could repel Belgium with a catapult.

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