Prezza Joins the Sunday Mirror
News arrives of some welcome Sunday competition:
Talking of January signings, I can confirm I'm joining……..the Sunday Mirror as its new columnist! #sundayprezza—
John Prescott (@johnprescott) January 04, 2013
Guido hears it’s a high five figure sum…
UPDATE:
Prezza Joins the Sunday Mirror: guyfawk.es/ZjLnsL >> along with a dozen sub editors presumably—
Adam Boulton (@adamboultonSKY) January 04, 2013
UPDATE II:
RT @adamboultonSKY Prezza Joins Sunday Mirror along with a dozen sub editors presumably< No & unlike Boulton & Co I'll have a 3.6m audience—
John Prescott (@johnprescott) January 04, 2013
Seconds out…
And he will still claims Lords allowance?
Leave me alone you hoon
What the fuck? I want a raise.
Prescott as a columnist, a dozen sub-editors and an English translator needed.
and someone to actually write the thing.
I’m truly astounded to think that somebody would be daft enough to give that fat incoherent Hunt a job!
We are watching you carefully.
So are we, from our HQ in Cupertino.
He is too thick to write his own column.
He’s having it ghost written by a rather clever chimpanzee. So it should be better than his usual stuff.
No need to go that far, he’s having it written by a stupid chimpanzee and it will still be more interesting and cogent.
I somehow doubt that Prezza managed to write that tweet all by himself. As tweets go, it is reasonably grammatical and even has an apostrophe in the correct place.
Prescott is too thick to write his own column.
Prescott is too thick to see his own column.
What a plonker says:
January 4, 2013 at 1:03 pm
Prescott is too thick to write his own colum
You surely mean MUCH too thick?
Looks like the Mirror’s spell check is going to have a very confusing time.
Yes but who will ghost write it?
Tracy the Tamarin ?
Tories are smearing people in work on tax credits as scroungers while they give millionaires a tax cut – I’m not standing for it
I wish someone would smear owen with shit
Nom nom nom
Garotting the little fucker would be much more satisfying.
Until such time when/if you become a millionaire, then you join the ranks of those of us in the Champagne Socialists’ Cabal. They you keep shtum.
Well you know EXACTLY where you can stick your bottles of champagne…Lord Fondlebum of Boys…
Mandy keeps shtum
With something up his bum
Isn’t one of mandys butt cheeks and thus whole Rse each owned by deripaska and Robinson and don’t they tweek his cheeks?
Tax credits are an asinine idea, dreamt up by a one eyed control freak moron called Brown. We pay for Civil servants to take your money then decide how much to give back to you. Which is inflexible, slow, innaccurate and bloody expensive to run. The worst possible system for the country and the users.
Why not just take less in the first place. Cheaper smaller smarter government is whats needed. Not continuity Brownism.
there are no Tories in the government..just fifty shades of Liberal (spit).
Vote UKIP.
Ffs?
The sub editor will be in for a hell of a job.
No, I shall be doing the ghosting.
I demand a pay rise for having to deal with Prescott’s copy.
On the positive side it’s a good thing that the Baboon known as Prezza is protituting himself with such an asswipe of a publication as the Mirror.
I wouldn’t wrap last years fish in Mirror or wee on the Grauniad if it was on fire..
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahagasphahahahahahah
Is it a foodie column?
Where to get the best pies, the choicest lard sandwiches, the tastiest offal pizzas?
We sincerely welcome Lord Prescott to try our world shaking pakistani pies – they move tectonic plates they do.
Ey up love, take a gander at my column
Life is already disappointing enough …
I know what I like in your wardrobe, sweetie…
Oh, it’s a small key…
Aye, love don’t ya bother yerserf that there isna many column inches, it’ll take a while but ahhh might get up to 2 or 3 inches like….
saucy
Pass me the trifle love.
I would think Prescott’s more of an Asda man really.
Or Cookeen..
Just can’t trust the Tories on the economy at all.
The number of retailers falling into administration in 2012 increased for the third year running, up by 6% compared with 2011, according to Deloitte.
High street woes continued throughout the last year, which resulted in 194 retailers entering administration, compared with just 183 in 2011 and 165 in 2010. However, there was a slight fall in the last three months of the year compared to the final quarter of 2011.
Lee Manning, restructuring services partner at Deloitte, said the figures were a stark reminder of the difficulties which continue to face the sector.
“Constrained household budgets and the structural challenges facing the sector mean it is certain that we will see further distress next year,” he said. “Christmas trading appears to have been reasonable, though not spectacular and not enough to prevent insolvencies in the first quarter of 2013.
Over the last year major chains such as Peacocks, La Senza, Blacks, Game, Clinton Cards, JJB Sports and Comet all entered administration. More retailers are expected to go bust this year when it becomes clear that Christmas trading and a short-lived sales boom failed to make up for another painful year.
So tell us Ed, just exactly what would YOU be doing?
We already know what he would do;borrow more,spend more & create more non-jobs in the public sector.
What we always do – tax the arse off people who actually work for a living and create wealth – as well as borrowing billions – in order to piss it about randomly and create millions of special lovely public sector jobs for special lovely people, in the hope something will be left over that resembles an ‘economy’.
Bugger, did I just think that or actually post it?
Ooh look – Ed Ballocks knows how to cut and paste from the internet. Who’s a clever little fuckwit?
http://www.accountingweb.co.uk/article/retail-administrations-soar-new-levels/535621
We are working on our shattering economic policies that will retrieve the piss poor UK economy from the inheritance of the coalition government.
It should be ready in 2 years. Meanwhile Chaka Moneyatit and I will work on short term measures to introduce to recover the situation. Like making pointless jobs in the public sector at public expense for Labour supporters in longer term unemployment – at public expense of course.
That’ll increase the illiteracy coefficient at the SM by a staggering amount.
I wish I had the balls to say this
Wtf???
I used to be scared I would see a civil war in this country.
Now I’m getting scared I won’t.
Dear Anjem…fuck completely off. You mong.
Is Anjem or any of his family on benefits,methinks Pakistan would be a better place for him get the cnut out and quick.
Oh dear. Thats the Mirror finished then.
Hope you’re right Slim.
No way will I invest in this Mirror rag now.
Don’t worry, plenty of readers up here as we don’t read The Sun.
“Guido hears it’s a high five figure sum…”
All he can eat in MacDonalds & KFC.
14 pounds 3shillings and 10pence.
That’s nearly 14 guineas piggy
Nah! That is 10/2d short.
A fortune.
No ……. Mr.Chu’s China Palace. Eaten through the whole menu.
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the ugliest of them all?
Dear Lord Prezza, are you dim? Don’t you know you’re looking at him?
Do the mirror have a column on pies?
Well done john
I think the sunday mirror out sells the sunday star by about 3/1
Its 2/1 the star outsells the guardian by 3/1
errrr I think not.
Sunday Star 500K
Sunday Mirror 1.6m
Guardian dont have a Sunday paper
Bolloocks
errrrrr
Not according to ABC – The Audit Bureau of Circulations, the body that publish official newspaper circulation figures.
errrr bollocks
Observer.
But as Mirror readers are half wits it makes it 1.5/1
He only gets Luncheon Vouchers , no salary.
WTF?
I can see his column being shown to schoolchildren every Monday morning with the instruction:
“Now turn that into English.”
Another good reason not to waste money on this rag.
John Prescott is our most famous/successful student.
We hope he talks many times about what a great educational institute we are.
Would that be Ruskin College in Oxford but not at Oxford?
Do they do PPE Degrees as well? Then Presclott can be a SPADDY or an unpaid intern in Guardianista Land
We are an independent college not part of the university.
Are students are like John Prescott but just alot worser than him.
We can vouch for the fact that John Prescott passed our examinations with flying colours,with distintinctions (sic)in moving deckchairs, and selling tickets to lifeboats.
See Mongo Mitchell still hasnt got his job back….LOL
Mongo-A monetary unit of Mongolia, equal to one hundredth of a tugrik.
Why are you calling mitchell a monetary unit?
So John, what’s the first column title?
The joy of pork pies?
Pork Sword of Truth.
hahahaha
The Joy of Sex-with a Cocktail Sausage
Having had the misfortune to have to listen to him, I DO hope his public writing is better than his public speaking…
The first 9 prospective articles are rumoured to be:
How to play croquet
How to look after 2 jags
How to poke Tracey
How to get fat
How to be a laughing stock
How to mangle words
How to be a bruiser
How to be ignorant
How to be a waste of space
How to emulate Shakespeare’s writing
When’s people says to me John, they says this column that’s new what you’re writing in the Mirror every week apparently I was wondering, that’s them wondering not me as the writer wondering, I was wondering if you, that’s me you understand, will you be including any memories of your, or should I say my, reminiscences of my (that’s me), my memories of the time I was a minister of the Cabinet of the government, or should I say in the Cabinet and suchlike… (etc, etc)
Makes sense to me says ed balls
Prescott will introduce a new cultural heritage to embrace (and strangle at birth)
Westminster Council now prohibiting the feeding of homeless people. The actual prohibition of humanity and compassion, there.
What else do you expect from “The Nasty Party” led by David”Bottler” Cameron in the Bunker.
Sunday fucking pizza
We have to draw a line in the sand about Government lies on welfare.
http://blogs.channel4.com/factcheck/factcheck-ids-tax-credit-claims-discredited/12160 …
What about the lies on Channel4 ? It’s lazy thinking to just take their data as accurate.
Are they attempting to become the new Viz?
‘Guido hears it’s a high five figure sum…’
–
OK, that’s the annual pie rider; what about actual money?
Maybe they saw rapporteur on his CV and figured it was just another typo?
I’d have thought the Sunday Sport or VIZ was more in keeping with his intellect?
Dave needs to send Tory favourites Jim Davidson and Freddie Starr to Falklands to boost morale of the troops stationed there. The 200000 sheep however have signed a petition saying “” No “”
We certainly couldn’t send any of the Jackass Straw ‘conscientious objector’ family.
Jackass just sends troops off into battle. He doesn’t entertain them or makes sure they’ve got the right kit.
We are so happy we have signed up Moussa Koussa to penetrate the Guido Fawkes blog and keep interest away from us and Jimmy Savile
Laird du merde.
Tut! Merde is feminine!
Will this fucker ever go away!I like Boultons comment about the need for 12sub editors though.
I thought prescott was still busily working on his,much vaunted
Ten Year Integrated Transport Policy, started in ”97…….
(wont be buying sunday mirror).
And the pledge card promising integrated public transport by 2005. What a tosser.
It’s all over for David Cameron according to Ladbrokes.
I can’t see his name on the list.
Latest next LAB leader prices from Ladbrokes http://bit.ly/c5gpH6
Labbrokes don’t mention that they’re referring to the 2050 General Election.
van Klegg 50-1, chukka yermunney 20-1 ffs.
I am relying on voter apathy in 2015
By definition Macaroon is the only person who *can’t* be the next PM, you twit.
Hmmm, van Clegg 50/1. What is the chance of Cam doing a John Smith or catching a bullet with deputy Clegg taking over until a new leader is decided?
Bill
Does this mean we’ll not only get stock and oil price updates, but also up to the minute reporting on the price of pork pies?
Porky pies are free and in limitless supply.
Right you ! you gert lumox
Send in me secretary i’ll give six column inches then she can show me to the canteen
Extra lard on that duck’s
six column inches?
Did you give it to her three times?
Oi you! I’m looking forward to some action around the Mirror newsroom. Starting with that foxy Boniface girlie.
Why do we not have Sub Editors for our Astutes?
I shan’t buy the Mirror any longer.
Can Prezza actually write?
Yes five figures…..five individual payments of fifty pence each, a bucket of lard and all the pies he can eat.
Methinks the Mirror will regret offering him unlimited pies. On the plus side he’ll explode in about a week on that deal.
Can the Mirror be asked to confirm how many persons will be involved in the writing of Presclot’s articles under the FoI Act?
A reasonable request considering that his inability to master English speech suggests he would be incapable of producing a written article without a great deal of assistance.
In fact I wonder if he is capable of thinking up items about which to write.
Here comes Fatty with a COLUMN full of shit now?
And he’s going to be paid <100K for it?
Why has he sold himself out so cheaply, then? Is he that desperate, to have to take what chump change they're giving him, just to pay for all his Subway Sandwich runs?
I’m sick of me telling me what I think. I always do that.
I imagine spell check is going to explode.
3.6m audience my arse. The Mirror’s “readers” are only interested in the sports pages (not that any of the fat fuckers actually do any sport) and the Z-list celebrity news.
My record is 30 seconds in reading the Mirror in my local barber shop (Daily Mail was already being read) WITHOUT the sports pages.
Sorry.
“its not fare the wurker is not as ritch as toffs
rise up my brothurs and shurk of tyou chanes”
Looks like France is having a go at free speech on Twitter now: Never seen a french tweet, a free one could be a rarity if they get they way…
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2013/jan/02/free-speech-twitter-france
Article good(ish, but rambling) – but the conclusion of arguing against censorship on grounds of ‘incitement’ is just a different semantics of ‘ideas’ is good.
One suspects though that this piece, following yesterdays p@3d0 article is possibly forming a campaign to justify the notion that the idea that the objection to promoting pro-p@3d0 activities is somehow wrong.
Looks like the Grauniad is finally coming out as the paper of choice for nonces.
The Sun piece today sums up the disgraceful piece in the Grauniad yesterday:
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/justice/4725516/Sun-Justice-Campaigners-respond-to-The-Guardian-publishing-an-article-defending-child-molesters.html
What is curious is a subtle logical contradiction of sorts in that Grauniad article yesterday which Jon Henley hacked together.
As the Sun correctly points out, Jon continued to establish link between P@3d0′s and gays. However, Jon also alluded to fact that P@3d0′s were generally sub par intelligent and under achievers as per his source.
The lefty propaganda on gays recently one thought was that they are mainly high achievers and usually having above par intelligence, and beneficial to society.
This is clearly an ideological knot in the Grauniad colon, and the conclusion is that Jon Henley is a fuck-tard who should probably carry on writing for this rag as it does help in demonstrating the flaws in the left’s propaganda.
Anybody at the mirror I can fuc,k on my desk with my 2 incher while the missus is out?
Making up stuff about Millie Fowler ‘s voicemail, defending p-a-e-d-os, being old Argentinian trout face’s mouthpiece..it just gets better and better.
Wow, even more reason to sleep in
Shortly after being elected in 1989, Vaz led a march of thousands of Muslims in Leicester calling for Salman Rushdie’s book The Satanic Verses to be banned—WIKI.
Good to see nothing changes. Take those matches off Vaz.
I witnessed the equivalent in Peterborough.
Disgusting backward rabble with no place on this island.
Vaz.
An oily, vacuous, self-promoting t u r d.
No doubt he will be looking for his little perk again. Think the wife will sew his flies up this time.
Will the bloated old fool hand back any of his goldplated Westminster paid benefits, or continue to screw the taxpayer? Easy to guess which!
3.6m on week 1, a damned site less a year later.
I bet hes better at getting people to stop reading papers than he was getting people to stop using cars.
Will he be known as 2Rags as well as 2Jags?
Certainly 2Bags ( trace. poor-lean)
Jist being givan a job riteing for the Mira.
What a fat useless, irrelevant C*UNT!
he probably has a lot of interesting things to say about pies which I am keen to hear about