January 4th, 2013

DfE’s £17,000 Watering Holes

gove2First it was Pickles’ biscuits and now Michael Gove’s department have spent £17,000 on three “beverage areas”. The National College for School Leadership  is enjoying the luxury of three brand new fully kitted-out self-service watering holes. The department has also been refurbishing its Cambridge office. The cost? A cool £159,000. They tell Guido the move will save money. Bottoms up…


  1. 1
    Raving Loon says:

    “beverage areas”?

    I might have to start using that phrase.

  2. 2
    David Cameron says:

    We’re all in this together.

  3. 3
    Take him down says:

    What news on Huhne?

  4. 4
    Exploder says:

    Make mine a double

  5. 5
    George Gideon Oliver Osborne says:

    Meanwhile at Number 11

  6. 6
    Frank Carson says:

    What do call a moderate muslim?

    Mullah light.

    Why do some muslims need to go on a diet?

    Because they’re fatah.

    What did the one muslim mum say to the other muslim mum as they watched their kids play?

    They blow up so quickly these days.

    How many muslims does it take to change a lightbulb?

    All 1 billion of them:
    1 imam to declare a fatwa that the lightbulb needs changing
    250 million muslims across the globe to wave placards saying that the lightbulb needs changing
    250 million muslims to set fire to candle factories
    1 sunni imam to declare a fatwa that the new lightbulb needs to be an energy-saving one, as incandescent lightbulbs, with their profligate energy use, are a symbol of the decadent West and therefore satanic
    1 group of extremist sunnis to blow themselves up in an incandescent lightbulb factory
    1 shiite imam to declare a fatwa that the new lightbulb needs to be an incandescent one, as energy-saving lightbulbs are a symbol of technological progress and therefore blashemous
    1 group of extremist shiites to blow themselves up in an energy-saving lightbulb factory
    250 million sunnis and 250 million shiites to riot with each other in every muslim city in the world over their disagreement over what type of lightbulb to use
    1 muslim politician to tentatively suggest that, actually, the current lightbulb is working fine
    1 extremist muslim to assassinate him.

    and 1 ex-Muslim to actually change the lightbulb.

  7. 7
    Joss Taskin says:

    Beveridge Report ?

  8. 8
    Frankie Boyle says:

    and why do they smell? So even blind people can hate em

  9. 9
    Duty Pedant says:

    Libations is a better word to use

  10. 10

    Er, that photo is about seven years old.

  11. 11
  12. 12
    jimmy So Vile says:

    How old?

  13. 13
    UK Person says:

    Belfast flag protests undermine support for union, says leading Conservative:


    Yet another supposed Conservative talking rubbish. It’s the actions of the Westminster governments that undermine support for the Union.

  14. 14
    Baroness Warsi says:


  15. 15
    The public says:

    So Gove is incompetent after all. Who knew?

  16. 16
    Ben Franklin says:

    Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote.

  17. 17
    Rupert my Hero says:


  18. 18
    Son of Rupert says:


  19. 19
    Maggie's Thatch says:

    Hi righties. How’s Jim Davidson?

  20. 20
    Andrew Mitchell says:

    I bet they open the gates for that guy without his having to ask

  21. 21
    IRA Apologist says:

    Well that’s what they are designed to do.

  22. 22
    Ah! Monika 2013 says:

    brand or grand?

  23. 23
    Rightie says:

    Hi Lefty hows daytime TV?

  24. 24
    Fat Bastard says:

    I intend to bring this up in an urgent Question!
    He’s going to fucking regret that!

    Imagine– the cheek of the man, not inviting me!

  25. 25
    The Law says:

    Innocent until proven guilty

  26. 26
  27. 27
    Fancy Schmancy says:

    Belch, to you

  28. 28
    Ah! Monika 2013 says:

    Cutting costs. Used to be Krug.

  29. 29
    Council Watcher says:

    Any move on stopping LG councillors being able to join the Local Government Pension scheme so we go on paying for them after they’ve been thrown out by the electorate?
    Remember the days when people used to become councillors to help their local community?

  30. 30
    One Life says:

    “Climbers only rope themselves together to stop the sensible ones going home”

  31. 31
    The local community says:

    Sorry, no. When was that?

  32. 32
    Screwed Taxpayer says:

    Cutting expenditure are you Dave?

    No. You are in charge of an Cabinet full of lying wasteful incompetents.

    You are a complete cnut.

  33. 33
    The judicial system says:

    A court has been forced to allow a boy of 12 who carried out more than 20 criminal acts – including sexual assault – to walk free because they have no legal means to deal with him.

    The boy, from Portsmouth, had entered 22 guilty pleas in July for myriad offences including sexual assault, racially aggravated assault, theft, common assault and criminal damage, but a judge heard that his low IQ meant he could not properly understand the court process and so his guilty plea could not be accepted.

    The judge said the case was the ‘perfect storm’ after the court made 15 various attempts to deal with the child. Psychiatric and psychologists’ reports said the boy had an IQ of 58, which meant he was in the bottom three per cent for his age. This, experts claimed, also left him unable to understand the implications of his acts.

    Doctors recommended the boy – who is in foster care – should be given a hospital order under the Mental Health Act, but as he was not convicted, that could not be implemented

  34. 34
    Council Watcher says:

    It began to change after the ‘reforms’ of local government, sadly under a Conservative Government’s watch.

  35. 35
    Maggie Thatcher says:

    It’s wonderful! I like watching daytime denis with my TV.

  36. 36
    Anonymous says:

    Not in this country. Libelled by government agency and your life threatened. They no not need evidence they just make it up.

  37. 37
    Amused says:

    Hee Hee!

  38. 38
    The local community says:

    Must be before my time then. I am only 50.

  39. 39
    Margaret Moran says:

    Ah little Johnnie

  40. 40
    The BBC says:

    It was a gift from us to the New Labour government.

  41. 41
    The Town Crier says:

    He’s a bit of a knob, but then you probably knew that

  42. 42
    Ah! Monika 2013 says:

    £17 K less vat, less taxation on wages, less nat.ins = real cost of £12 2s 6p.

  43. 43
    T Dan Smith says:

    I used to have a very profitable time.

  44. 44
    Cwispy pants Bwyant says:

    A Libor voter of the future.

  45. 45
    It was the best of times it was the most crappy of times says:

    Always baffled me why they don’t have a bar in schools. Well it will keep them from behind the bikesheds, with no metal varieties usually, and be able to keep an eye on the young drunken perves.

  46. 46
    Jonathan Aitken says:

    Wanna touch my sword of truth?

  47. 47
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    4 days into the year and my Monika buggered already. FFS

  48. 48
    Diageo Marketing Idea says:

    English lesson, room 8, sponsored by Johnnie Walker.

  49. 49
    Seed = Rnd(); says:

    My moniker works just fine

  50. 50
    Owen Jones says:

    Special request for David Cameron

    “Go give a blow job to a knife”

  51. 51
    Sub judas cee says:

    No telling

  52. 52
    Owens Mammy says:

    Come on in now love, its bedtime.

  53. 53
    It was the best of times it was the most crappy of times says:

    Why is it when they say they are “saving money” results in jolly get together bills sky rocketing from these departments?

    Gove must be a right pisshead, with what he is doing giving him more oportunities to get tanked, with his own private tax-paid taxi to get his sad fat arse home. He’s got to be a lush – would explain his always flushed cheeks at least.

  54. 54
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    My Reg, god rest his soul, was a huge fan of my fully kitted-out, self-service, watering hole, wasn’t he, dear?

  55. 55
  56. 56
    Mike Hancock MP says:

    A bit like myself at that age. Perhaps he will go on to represent Portsmouth in Parliament as I have done. He has the CV for it. The Grand Master would like to meet the lad and discuss his future. Boaz.

  57. 57
    a silent admirer says:

    HNY Elsie

  58. 58
    It was the best of times it was the most crappy of times says:

    I prefer the one “go get a blowjob from a razor blade”. The vietcong used to do that. Read it somewhere, but I won’t go into the details….

    That is why soldiers these days are always told when they are on patrol to keep their zip up.

  59. 59
    Socialists = Sociopaths says:

    Lefties are so civilised.

  60. 60
    Oh! Sud de Nîmes says:

    This one seems OK, despite HD failure some months ago.

  61. 61

    An ΗΚ ΜР7 hеlps…

  62. 62
    Civil Servants Serving Themselves Civilly says:

    It doesn’t take long for ministers to go native, does it?

  63. 63
    It was the best of times it was the most crappy of times says:

    Friday afternoon in your average school in the future – “Well kiddies, since you have worked so very hard this week, the headmaster has put a barrel on in the assembly room”.

  64. 64
    Samuel Langhorne Clemens says:

    Nobody’s life, liberty or property is safe while the Legislature remains in session.

  65. 65
  66. 66
    My Other Van's A Comma says:

    Jesus WEPT, Elsie! Keep sprinkling them commas willy-nilly, why dontcha?

    I, too, wish you a Happy New Year, you old bag ; -)

  67. 67
    It was the best of times it was the most crappy of times says:

    …and of course the kids asking the geog teacher “can I have a drag on your spliff, Sir?”.

    Why is it always geography teachers that partake in the jamaican woodbines? Always baffled me that does.

  68. 68
    Wan King in the Spring says:

    I haven’t noticed anything myself…

  69. 69
    garden shed comedian says:

    Q: what does you call a Muslim wot has lost it’s faith?

    A: a person

  70. 70
    Anonymous says:

    They’ve been allowed to join the Local Govt pension scheme since 2003. Since then some 4000 have joined. This arrangement will stop in 2014 although accrued benefits will remain. This pension scheme is supported by council tax.

  71. 71
    Anonymous says:

    This government try to micro manage policy for political advantage but fail to look at the over all picture. Because of this it ended up messing up its political strategy. For e.g.

    1) Old people. They regularly use the health service and go and visit friends in hospitals. They are upset as service is falling and waiting time going up.

    2) Middle class with kids. They are upset as child benefits are cut to them while some earning more and others who contributing less than them are getting it.

    3) Poor. Benefits they receive has been reduced, some will be forced out of their homes, lots of them will end up paying council tax from Apr 2013.

    4) Middle class without dependent children. These people will now afford to put money into their pension pot but tax deduction on pension has been reduced.

    Each of this group support what government does to the other group but pissed off with what government has done to them. There is no one in this government taking a helicopter view about winning the next general election or even having the ability to form coalition government.

    Classic example is Cameron policy on EU, he is all for further integration of EU and wants a seat in EU but doesn’t want UK to abide by integration. Cameron says he wants to bring back powers from EU but wants countries to give EU more power. He lost support from both pro and anti EU supporters.

  72. 72

    Ah! Monika

    I don’t have any troubles with your moniker. Have you cleared your cache?

  73. 73
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    Commas are free, dear.

  74. 74
    Some are more equal says:

    I earn almost that amount in 2 years.

    3 beverage areas huh?

  75. 75
    Such blubbery cheeks says:

    ‘the cheek of the man’

    Hey there, enough about Watty’s-botty

  76. 76
    garden shed expert says:

    …. and updated your graphics drivers?

  77. 77
    Samuel L. Jackson says:

    And I will execute great vengeance upon them in My wrath with furious rebukes, and in My vengeance they shall know I am the Lord, Ezekiel 25:17, them jive punk ass thievin’ muthafuckas!

  78. 78
    Cameron's policy on EU says:

  79. 79
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    Just tried , but no dice.

  80. 80
    Somehow he survived and prospered says:

    I think you will find the terminally useless Heseltine’s fingerprints, all over that particular f*ck up.

  81. 81
    ɮ says:

    Another Tory criminal

  82. 82
    Chicken-Licken says:

    Let us hope that you get early Parkinson’s where your body becomes useless whilst leaving your mind fully awre.

  83. 83
    :o) says:

    Sponsored by Teachers, surely…

  84. 84
    Kevin Lynch says:

    aaah, an article by that nice Trevor Ringland….world champion lets-all-get-alongerist, who spat the dummy when a Unionist leader didnt fall over himself to go see a GAA match in which the Irish National anthem is played, the teams and spectators are exclusively Roman Catholic and anti-British, and in a so-called sport where many of the local GAA clubs are named after IRA terrorists.

  85. 85
    WoRaft says:

    Do we really need this ‘executive agency’ or any of these people?


    When you click on any of the biographical links, you get a list of the injuns who report to them. There are a couple of vacant positions for those who fancy a nice cosy public sector billet. Might as well go to someone here as anybody else.

  86. 86
    Herman von Rumpy Pumpy says:

    He does love himself. Good to hear a voice in the wilderness.

  87. 87
    Cumalot. says:

    His ex wife is on BBC a lot as an economist of stature. Needless to say they do not have ANYONE of real stature.

  88. 88
    Pundit too too says:

    As one pipsqueak to another

  89. 89
    Universal Hiss says:

    I’ve given up.

    I think my words of wisdom & refrain from typing them.

    Mad bastard modding.

    Happy Christmas.

  90. 90
    Morning Star with russian bras, sometimes more than often off says:

    Why do they smell Frankie? So only the dogs are only attracted to them, mun.

  91. 91
    Morning Star with russian bras, sometimes more than often off says:

    but yes Frankie, quite ironic, when you regard guide dogs for the blind.

  92. 92
    Morning Star with russian bras, sometimes more than often off says:

    Q. What do you call a muslim in an all over burka?

    A. Hot.

  93. 93
    Denzil says:

    I employ people and they all know if they drink on the job they are out of the door.

    I don’t see why politicians should be any different.

    That Sarkozy put a total ban on alcohol and sold off a wine collection put together by Chirac .

    Now that he has gone he has been replaced by a set of “champagne socialists”.

    Gove looks daft enough when he is sober.

  94. 94
    Morning Star with russian bras, sometimes more than often off says:

    And yes, why is it it is always the fat young tarts you find behind bikesheds? Never the blonde, blue eyed, slim, elastic one that you are acshually in love with then?

  95. 95
    Morning Star with russian bras, sometimes more than often off says:

    Memories and big mammories at a young age, ey, lads?

    OK, so I did it under the flyover at lunchtime. So?

  96. 96
    Morning Star with russian bras, sometimes more than often off says:

    What so do you call a muslim disbeliever?
    A christian.

    What do you call a christian that says “Allah wasn’t a bad bloke”?
    A pyre.

    What do you call a catholic nun in a burka?
    Well, a Nun of course.

  97. 97
    Morning Star with russian bras, sometimes more than often off says:

    Sixteen year old future nun from Belgique here. Brainwashing? Up to you all to decide,

    Up to decide what you want – feel free, without bogotry.

  98. 98
    Morning Star with russian bras, sometimes more than often off says:

    BIGOTRY! even.

    Christ – I need to buy a new keyboard – the usual vowels and consonents saying them have worn out, and I type too fast non-editing myself, I suppose, laziness of mark one human nature it is, I suppose and admit.

  99. 99
    Morning Star with russian bras, sometimes more than often off says:

    get back to Trees Lounge you yank Planet of the Ape export,

    : )

  100. 100
    Morning Star with russian bras, sometimes more than often off says:

    and no, no, Trees Lounge has got nothing to do that afro-americans have huge dicks in my thinking, and why they were so popular with english ladies during WWII, while their husbands were away in North Africa, no – there was some tiny dicked italians in that film too,

    oh god – here come the mafis “did you disresoect us” No, I just said you have tiny dicks. It is inversley proportional to temper.

  101. 101
    Morning Star with russian bras, sometimes more than often off says:

    Mod is a strange creature here – just remove some words, and include a ton of fucking sware words to make it crosseyed, and you’ll be fine.

    I find it usually works.

  102. 102
    Anonymous says:

    Everyone except Greedo and his vermin.

  103. 103
    Bluto says:

    A good example of national socialism at work where blatant hatred from the party that introduced the concept of ‘hate crime’ substitutes for cogent argument. Their other line is smear.

    One must only imagine Mr Watson in a ministerial position to realise what lies ahead for Britain. New Labour 2. He appears to confuse bullying, intimidation and winning by any means with proper policies and the art of persuasion.

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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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