January 4th, 2013

DfE’s £17,000 Watering Holes

gove2First it was Pickles’ biscuits and now Michael Gove’s department have spent £17,000 on three “beverage areas”. The National College for School Leadership  is enjoying the luxury of three brand new fully kitted-out self-service watering holes. The department has also been refurbishing its Cambridge office. The cost? A cool £159,000. They tell Guido the move will save money. Bottoms up…


103 Comments

  1. 1
    Raving Loon says:

    “beverage areas”?

    I might have to start using that phrase.

    Like

    • 7
      Joss Taskin says:

      Beveridge Report ?

      Like

      • 27
        Fancy Schmancy says:

        Belch, to you

        Like

        • 45
          It was the best of times it was the most crappy of times says:

          Always baffled me why they don’t have a bar in schools. Well it will keep them from behind the bikesheds, with no metal varieties usually, and be able to keep an eye on the young drunken perves.

          Like

          • Diageo Marketing Idea says:

            English lesson, room 8, sponsored by Johnnie Walker.

            Like

          • It was the best of times it was the most crappy of times says:

            Friday afternoon in your average school in the future – “Well kiddies, since you have worked so very hard this week, the headmaster has put a barrel on in the assembly room”.

            Like

          • It was the best of times it was the most crappy of times says:

            …and of course the kids asking the geog teacher “can I have a drag on your spliff, Sir?”.

            Why is it always geography teachers that partake in the jamaican woodbines? Always baffled me that does.

            Like

          • Morning Star with russian bras, sometimes more than often off says:

            And yes, why is it it is always the fat young tarts you find behind bikesheds? Never the blonde, blue eyed, slim, elastic one that you are acshually in love with then?

            Like

          • Morning Star with russian bras, sometimes more than often off says:

            Memories and big mammories at a young age, ey, lads?

            OK, so I did it under the flyover at lunchtime. So?

            Like

        • 83
          :o) says:

          Sponsored by Teachers, surely…

          Like

      • 71
        Anonymous says:

        This government try to micro manage policy for political advantage but fail to look at the over all picture. Because of this it ended up messing up its political strategy. For e.g.

        1) Old people. They regularly use the health service and go and visit friends in hospitals. They are upset as service is falling and waiting time going up.

        2) Middle class with kids. They are upset as child benefits are cut to them while some earning more and others who contributing less than them are getting it.

        3) Poor. Benefits they receive has been reduced, some will be forced out of their homes, lots of them will end up paying council tax from Apr 2013.

        4) Middle class without dependent children. These people will now afford to put money into their pension pot but tax deduction on pension has been reduced.

        Each of this group support what government does to the other group but pissed off with what government has done to them. There is no one in this government taking a helicopter view about winning the next general election or even having the ability to form coalition government.

        Classic example is Cameron policy on EU, he is all for further integration of EU and wants a seat in EU but doesn’t want UK to abide by integration. Cameron says he wants to bring back powers from EU but wants countries to give EU more power. He lost support from both pro and anti EU supporters.

        Like

    • 22
      Ah! Monika 2013 says:

      brand or grand?

      Like

    • 30
      One Life says:

      “Climbers only rope themselves together to stop the sensible ones going home”

      Like

    • 54
      Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

      My Reg, god rest his soul, was a huge fan of my fully kitted-out, self-service, watering hole, wasn’t he, dear?

      Like

  2. 2
    David Cameron says:

    We’re all in this together.

    Like

  3. 3
    Take him down says:

    What news on Huhne?

    Like

  4. 4
    Exploder says:

    Make mine a double

    Like

  5. 5
    George Gideon Oliver Osborne says:

    Meanwhile at Number 11

    Like

  6. 6
    Frank Carson says:

    What do call a moderate muslim?

    Mullah light.

    Why do some muslims need to go on a diet?

    Because they’re fatah.

    What did the one muslim mum say to the other muslim mum as they watched their kids play?

    They blow up so quickly these days.

    How many muslims does it take to change a lightbulb?

    All 1 billion of them:
    1 imam to declare a fatwa that the lightbulb needs changing
    250 million muslims across the globe to wave placards saying that the lightbulb needs changing
    250 million muslims to set fire to candle factories
    1 sunni imam to declare a fatwa that the new lightbulb needs to be an energy-saving one, as incandescent lightbulbs, with their profligate energy use, are a symbol of the decadent West and therefore satanic
    1 group of extremist sunnis to blow themselves up in an incandescent lightbulb factory
    1 shiite imam to declare a fatwa that the new lightbulb needs to be an incandescent one, as energy-saving lightbulbs are a symbol of technological progress and therefore blashemous
    1 group of extremist shiites to blow themselves up in an energy-saving lightbulb factory
    250 million sunnis and 250 million shiites to riot with each other in every muslim city in the world over their disagreement over what type of lightbulb to use
    1 muslim politician to tentatively suggest that, actually, the current lightbulb is working fine
    1 extremist muslim to assassinate him.

    and 1 ex-Muslim to actually change the lightbulb.

    Like

    • 8
      Frankie Boyle says:

      and why do they smell? So even blind people can hate em

      Like

      • 90
        Morning Star with russian bras, sometimes more than often off says:

        Why do they smell Frankie? So only the dogs are only attracted to them, mun.

        Like

      • 91
        Morning Star with russian bras, sometimes more than often off says:

        but yes Frankie, quite ironic, when you regard guide dogs for the blind.

        Like

      • 96
        Morning Star with russian bras, sometimes more than often off says:

        What so do you call a muslim disbeliever?
        A christian.

        What do you call a christian that says “Allah wasn’t a bad bloke”?
        A pyre.

        What do you call a catholic nun in a burka?
        Well, a Nun of course.

        Like

        • 97
          Morning Star with russian bras, sometimes more than often off says:

          Sixteen year old future nun from Belgique here. Brainwashing? Up to you all to decide,

          Up to decide what you want – feel free, without bogotry.

          Like

          • Morning Star with russian bras, sometimes more than often off says:

            BIGOTRY! even.

            Christ – I need to buy a new keyboard – the usual vowels and consonents saying them have worn out, and I type too fast non-editing myself, I suppose, laziness of mark one human nature it is, I suppose and admit.

            Like

    • 14
      Baroness Warsi says:

      Tit.

      Like

    • 69
      garden shed comedian says:

      Q: what does you call a Muslim wot has lost it’s faith?

      A: a person

      Like

      • 92
        Morning Star with russian bras, sometimes more than often off says:

        Q. What do you call a muslim in an all over burka?

        A. Hot.

        Like

  7. 9
    Duty Pedant says:

    Libations is a better word to use

    Like

  8. 11
  9. 13
    UK Person says:

    Belfast flag protests undermine support for union, says leading Conservative:

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2013/jan/04/belfast-flat-protest-undermines-union

    Yet another supposed Conservative talking rubbish. It’s the actions of the Westminster governments that undermine support for the Union.

    Like

    • 21
      IRA Apologist says:

      Well that’s what they are designed to do.

      Like

    • 84
      Kevin Lynch says:

      aaah, an article by that nice Trevor Ringland….world champion lets-all-get-alongerist, who spat the dummy when a Unionist leader didnt fall over himself to go see a GAA match in which the Irish National anthem is played, the teams and spectators are exclusively Roman Catholic and anti-British, and in a so-called sport where many of the local GAA clubs are named after IRA terrorists.

      Like

  10. 15
    The public says:

    So Gove is incompetent after all. Who knew?

    Like

  11. 16
    Ben Franklin says:

    Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote.

    Like

    • 64
      Samuel Langhorne Clemens says:

      Nobody’s life, liberty or property is safe while the Legislature remains in session.

      Like

      • 77
        Samuel L. Jackson says:

        And I will execute great vengeance upon them in My wrath with furious rebukes, and in My vengeance they shall know I am the Lord, Ezekiel 25:17, them jive punk ass thievin’ muthafuckas!

        Like

        • 99
          Morning Star with russian bras, sometimes more than often off says:

          get back to Trees Lounge you yank Planet of the Ape export,

          : )

          Like

          • Morning Star with russian bras, sometimes more than often off says:

            and no, no, Trees Lounge has got nothing to do that afro-americans have huge dicks in my thinking, and why they were so popular with english ladies during WWII, while their husbands were away in North Africa, no – there was some tiny dicked italians in that film too,

            oh god – here come the mafis “did you disresoect us” No, I just said you have tiny dicks. It is inversley proportional to temper.

            Like

  12. 17
    Rupert my Hero says:

    Indeed

    Like

  13. 18
    Son of Rupert says:

    Indeed

    Like

  14. 19
    Maggie's Thatch says:

    Hi righties. How’s Jim Davidson?

    Like

  15. 24
    Fat Bastard says:

    I intend to bring this up in an urgent Question!
    He’s going to fucking regret that!

    Imagine– the cheek of the man, not inviting me!

    Like

    • 65

      Wot a fat fucker!

      Like

    • 75
      Such blubbery cheeks says:

      ‘the cheek of the man’

      Hey there, enough about Watty’s-botty

      Like

    • 88
      Pundit too too says:

      As one pipsqueak to another

      Like

    • 103
      Bluto says:

      A good example of national socialism at work where blatant hatred from the party that introduced the concept of ‘hate crime’ substitutes for cogent argument. Their other line is smear.

      One must only imagine Mr Watson in a ministerial position to realise what lies ahead for Britain. New Labour 2. He appears to confuse bullying, intimidation and winning by any means with proper policies and the art of persuasion.

      Like

  16. 29
    Council Watcher says:

    Any move on stopping LG councillors being able to join the Local Government Pension scheme so we go on paying for them after they’ve been thrown out by the electorate?
    Remember the days when people used to become councillors to help their local community?

    Like

    • 31
      The local community says:

      Sorry, no. When was that?

      Like

    • 70
      Anonymous says:

      They’ve been allowed to join the Local Govt pension scheme since 2003. Since then some 4000 have joined. This arrangement will stop in 2014 although accrued benefits will remain. This pension scheme is supported by council tax.

      Like

  17. 32
    Screwed Taxpayer says:

    Cutting expenditure are you Dave?

    No. You are in charge of an Cabinet full of lying wasteful incompetents.

    You are a complete cnut.

    Like

  18. 33
    The judicial system says:

    A court has been forced to allow a boy of 12 who carried out more than 20 criminal acts – including sexual assault – to walk free because they have no legal means to deal with him.

    The boy, from Portsmouth, had entered 22 guilty pleas in July for myriad offences including sexual assault, racially aggravated assault, theft, common assault and criminal damage, but a judge heard that his low IQ meant he could not properly understand the court process and so his guilty plea could not be accepted.

    The judge said the case was the ‘perfect storm’ after the court made 15 various attempts to deal with the child. Psychiatric and psychologists’ reports said the boy had an IQ of 58, which meant he was in the bottom three per cent for his age. This, experts claimed, also left him unable to understand the implications of his acts.

    Doctors recommended the boy – who is in foster care – should be given a hospital order under the Mental Health Act, but as he was not convicted, that could not be implemented

    Like

  19. 42
    Ah! Monika 2013 says:

    £17 K less vat, less taxation on wages, less nat.ins = real cost of £12 2s 6p.

    Like

  20. 47
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    4 days into the year and my Monika buggered already. FFS

    Like

  21. 50
    Owen Jones says:

    Special request for David Cameron

    “Go give a blow job to a knife”

    Like

    • 52
      Owens Mammy says:

      Come on in now love, its bedtime.

      Like

    • 58
      It was the best of times it was the most crappy of times says:

      I prefer the one “go get a blowjob from a razor blade”. The vietcong used to do that. Read it somewhere, but I won’t go into the details….

      That is why soldiers these days are always told when they are on patrol to keep their zip up.

      Like

    • 59
      Socialists = Sociopaths says:

      Lefties are so civilised.

      Like

  22. 53
    It was the best of times it was the most crappy of times says:

    Why is it when they say they are “saving money” results in jolly get together bills sky rocketing from these departments?

    Gove must be a right pisshead, with what he is doing giving him more oportunities to get tanked, with his own private tax-paid taxi to get his sad fat arse home. He’s got to be a lush – would explain his always flushed cheeks at least.

    Like

  23. 62
    Civil Servants Serving Themselves Civilly says:

    It doesn’t take long for ministers to go native, does it?

    Like

  24. 85
    WoRaft says:

    Do we really need this ‘executive agency’ or any of these people?

    http://education.gov.uk/nationalcollege/index/about-us/how-national-college-organised.htm

    When you click on any of the biographical links, you get a list of the injuns who report to them. There are a couple of vacant positions for those who fancy a nice cosy public sector billet. Might as well go to someone here as anybody else.

    Like

  25. 93
    Denzil says:

    I employ people and they all know if they drink on the job they are out of the door.

    I don’t see why politicians should be any different.

    That Sarkozy put a total ban on alcohol and sold off a wine collection put together by Chirac .

    Now that he has gone he has been replaced by a set of “champagne socialists”.

    Gove looks daft enough when he is sober.

    Like


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