December 7th, 2012

Front Page Ate My Reputation


  1. 1
    Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

    Couldn’t have happened to a nicer chap.

  2. 2
    ted baker's pearls says:

    He obviously needs a good publicist

  3. 3
    The Hamiltons says:

    Karma’s a Bitch ain’t it?

  4. 4
    He who no longer posts says:

    Qui rapiet custodes

  5. 5
    The Watchmen says:


  6. 6
    jaded48 says:

    Who’s publishing the story from the (allegedly) abused girls point of view? Lean forward cleavage shot,slightly unfocused lens,looking sad into the distance etc etc.

  7. 7
    East India Company Wallah says:

    You cannot help but smile at the smug shit
    It is not possible to like an arrogant prick like that even if you reared it!

  8. 8
    PM says:

    I feel so sorry for Max. Not really, ha ha ha ha.

  9. 9
    Kelvin Bellend says:

    are you calling me a troll?

  10. 10
    its bleak in sunderland says:

    What goeth around cometh around sayeth the Lord

  11. 11
    A reporter from the Daily Planet says:

    Sources tell me the Law Courts are expecting to issue two Libel Writs today but that they are going to be disappointed .

  12. 12
    You couldn't make it up! says:

    There are some interesting photos on the DailyMail website of Plod walking out of Clifford’s house, carrying bin bags (note the plural) full of ‘evidence’.

    The alleged crimes happened 35 f*cking years ago. What ‘evidence’ is going to be lying around his house today?

  13. 13
    Henry Ford says:

    He voted for Gordon Brown.what did you expect.

  14. 14
    Nogbad the Bad says:

    Can you feel the vibrations from hundreds of strings being pulled by slebs and establishmentarians who are desperate for skeletons to remain in cupboards. Plod must have given a great deal of consideration before taking this action, knowing the forces that will try to protect him. He’s not guilty of anything, but those headlines will not be forgotten anytime soon.

  15. 15
    fruitcake says:

    Aaah the “Curse of” strikes!

  16. 16
    OnBenefits says:

    How come the media were already at Clifford’s house when the police turned up?

  17. 17
    Sense of humour bypass says:

    Notice that even though most of the house on both sides are reacting with good humour to his slip-up, Maria Eagle sits forward to shout something at Cameron. She can’t even let an innocent mistake go without turning it into a point scoring opportunity. Pathetic.

  18. 18
    bergen says:

    Yes.His interview outside plod was real car crash broadcasting-he seemed totally stunned and suddenly looked very old indeed. I should feel sorry for him but I don’t. Classic case of someone who can dish it out but can’t take it.

  19. 19
    Woodwork Crawler says:

    My great grandmother said Edward VII lifted her on to a horse in a most inappropriate way in 1896. The story has caused me severe stress and difficulties in my personal relationships.

    The nice lady from Social Services has counselled me, and says I must sue the Saxe-Coburg descendants for compensation.

  20. 20
    OnBenefits says:

    It has always been my opinion that Freddie Starr probably didn’t eat anyone’s hamster.

    Maybe we will now be told the truth.

  21. 21
    Joan Was Quizzical says:

    PC 31 says, “We’ve caught a dirty one!”
    Maxwell stands alone
    Painting testimonial pictures, oh oh oh
    Rose and Valerie, screaming from the gallery,
    Say, “He must go free (Maxwell must go free)!”
    The judge does not agree, and he tells them so, oh oh oh…

  22. 22
    Sir Mary Flappes says:

    And that Miliband freakshow.

  23. 23
    ah! monika's moniker is a gonner says:

    Round about the time he was holding his sex parties.

  24. 24
    OnBenefits says:

    He’s had it all his own way for far too long.

    As Corporal Jones said, “they don’t like it up ‘em”

  25. 25
    its bleak in sunderland says:

    A spokesperson for lawyer r us says get in touch its time we dealt with those Saxe Coburgs once and for all

  26. 26
    Nanny knows best says:

    Confucius he say: he who rides the elephant much be careful not to get a tusk up the arse.

  27. 27

    lets hope he can clear his name , i mean all this happening to a man who for a hefty fee , preaches morals and ethics and standards to the rest of us

  28. 28
    This is fun. says:

    He didn’t eat it and it wasn’t a hamster.

    He bummed it and it was a choir boy.

  29. 29
    A reporter from the Daily Planet says:

    The average age of prisoners in the UK is about to increase to 62 in a shocking survey issued by the MoJ today .

  30. 30
    Lorna Dunkley says:

    I asked members of the angry mob who had gathered outside Max Clifford’s house, burning effigies and screaming “Scum”, whether they were overreacting to unproven child abuse allegations.

    “What child abuse allegations?” they asked.

  31. 31
    Nanny knows best says:

    Don’t mess with us wimmin!

  32. 32
    Stuart Hall's Schedule for 2013 says:

    It’s My Knobout!
    It’s A Cockout!
    My Career’s A Washout!

  33. 33
    XXXxx says:

    Girl? Wasn’t it supposed to have happened 40 or more years ago, nearly as long ago as Guido’s birth

  34. 34
    Really? says:

    “He’s not guilty of anything”

    Really? Your proof of that is what precisely?

  35. 35
    Muzikal Chares says:

    and the Oboe-Cobergs while you are at it.

  36. 36
    ah! monika's moniker is a gonner says:

    Religion can damage your brain.

  37. 37
    Dave"The One Term Prime Minister" Cameron says:

    John Terry is 32 today.

  38. 38
    Lord Cashpoint, I proudly bought Labour Party says:

    No one has ever eaten my reputation

    I never had one to start with

  39. 39
    Muzikal Chares says:

    Console yourself

  40. 40
    The Labour Party is a disgrace says:

    And we destroyed any decency left in public life in Britain

  41. 41
    sacre bleu says:

    But it might be the one with the longest truncheon.

  42. 42
    Pink Fashion Editor says:


    He should be on the front page on Vogue magasine

    In his Y fronts

    To celebrate the appointment of Anna Wintour’s Popbitch appointment as US Ambassador to the UK

  43. 43
    sacre bleu says:

    Why has he not taken the rubbish out for the past 35 years?

  44. 44
    Penfold says:

    Would be nice to see if the rozzers can fit him up for abetment……

  45. 45
    Court reporter says:

    And he is a friend of Ginger Rebekah of Old Bailey Fame

    Nothing like being buddies with the Murdoch Mob

  46. 46
    sacre bleu says:

    If it happened in the stationery cupboard it would have been a quire boy.

  47. 47
    Not surprised says:

    Just a small point (oooerr!) Why is he allowed to “brief the press” following his questioning?

    If I was arrested in connection with these sort of despicable crimes, I would be ushered out through a side door with a blanket over my head.

    Don’t give the creep any coverage and let him crawl back under the rock from whence he came!

  48. 48
    XXXxx says:

    You don’t think someone had phoned around the Fleet Street rags if so that is a bit naughty after what that has happened over the past 4/5 years, especially as the guy has not been charged. All the rags are interested in is the sensationalism, especially as Maxy has helped (admittedly at a price) folks who have been bitten by the rags.

  49. 49
    splish splash says:

    Very good – and no doubt you are referring to the Maxwell who went for a swim one night?

  50. 50
    UK alcohol production wallah says:


    I am writing to you to complain

    Look at this

    Alcohol consumption is collapsing in the UK

    You must seriously increase yours please

    I want you crawling on all fours during this festive season

    And young Harry

    You are not fulfilling your patriotic duty

    Our life defends on it

  51. 51
    The Boy Plunger says:

    No one mentioned at all that the BoE kept interest rates on hold yesterday and inflation is above target .

    The country is obsessed with sex .

  52. 52
    Confucius says:

    I also say “man who circumcises elephants gets biggest tips”.

  53. 53
    Dixon of Dock Green says:

    I found the hamster in this gentelman’s fridge

    It is important evidence in our ongoing enquiry

    But what we are really lloking for is gerbils…

  54. 54
    XXXxx says:

    All the younger ones are given asbos and told not to be naughty boys/girls again

  55. 55
    Buddha says:

    No shit

    You were ahead of your day Confucie…

  56. 56
    Confucius says:

    In case you hadn’t noticed, the BoE has been doing that to us for the past several years. Do keep up.

  57. 57
    Editor of the Tatler says:

    I am sending two hundred hacks and paparazzios to cover our Max’s scene

    He has been such an icon of progress, British fashion, show bizz, transparency and total fucking decadence……

  58. 58
    Basildon Bond says:

    …and he’d have felt rather feint.

  59. 59
    XXXxx says:

    Those must have been the Fleet Street Rag Mob and hired rent a mob. It is known if you get a few people crowded together more will join them and before you it you have a large crowd, remember the old pot salesmen on the markets.

  60. 60
    The Last Governor of the BBC says:

    I am writing to you to say that the investigation into the BBC has been indefinately “postponed”

    We will resume normal service when all this unecessary fuss has calmed down

    PS In the meantime, I am trying to find out exactly how many employees we have… the Chief of Personnal has no idea

    And how many pay UK tax…

  61. 61
    Arthur Foxache says:

    Max said he is not guilty…what more proof do you need…..

  62. 62
    XXXxx says:

    Who is John Terry?

  63. 63
    The Golem says:

    It’s sad and unfortunate that most of the “great and the good” truly deserving of Corporal Jones’ bayonet live to a ripe old age and die in bed.

  64. 64
    BB says:

    Quote of the day from ‘Davy’ on the Dan Hodges article in ‘Read Elsewhere':

    ‘Ed Balls is the economic equivalent of Jimmy Savile. He got away with it for years, but there’s no way we’d trust him with our kids future knowing what we do now.’

  65. 65
    Legal Beagle says:

    Have you taken advice from Squire Chilcot perchance?

    He seems not only to have postponed his report but to have buried it

  66. 66
    reports from the rear says:

    this is one of those happy stories that the press like to put out at christmas

    rejoice – rejoice as lord leveson says

  67. 67
    Hank the Cat says:

    I hear that Max Clifford is hiring Tom Watson to do his PR

  68. 68
    Legal Beagle says:

    I would put him in the Madoff category

    Master of the Ponzi Arts and proud of it…

  69. 69
    Nogbad the bad says:

    I meant in the legal sense, you know, juries and all that. I have no proof either way.

  70. 70
    Max on remand says:

    I will sell my real memoirs for more than Mandelson makes in five years of influence peddling

  71. 71
    Gideon and Dave the phantom cutters says:

    Plan C. Let inflation erode the national Debt. Keep stealing from non-inflation indexed pensioners, savers, and all the other plebs who are so stupid they are not helping the economy by taking on more debt.

    Mervyn — Don’t forget to shit out another £200bn or so ofQ.E. before you swan off into your platinum plated retirement.

    By the way, how did the measurements for the ermine go the other day?

    Lots Of Love

  72. 72
    reports from the rear says:

    perchance he hath not been paid?

  73. 73
    Freddie the Fishmonger says:

    A bed in a prison cell.

  74. 74
    Where Eagles Scare says:

    WE HATE MEN !!

  75. 75
    XXXxx says:

    With savings going down the pan there isn’t much else left

  76. 76
    Anonymous says:

    Dont you mean Girth ?

  77. 77
    Vogue reporter says:

    British Ambassador to the United States

  78. 78
    8illy 8owden, the world's greatist umplre says:

    According to the BBC, ‘Calcutta’ is now ‘Kolkata’.

    They’ll be renaming Peking next.

  79. 79
    XXXxx says:

    No money left!

  80. 80
    reports from the rear says:

    there’s a saying – you can tell a lawyer by the clients that keep him

    does this apply to PR people too?

  81. 81
    Anonymous says:

    Clearly Samcam left him a list

  82. 82
    reports from the rear says:


  83. 83
    Vogue reporter says:

    The moral of all of this as Gwido would say

    You are either in front of an elephant or hehind it

    Can’t have it both ways…

  84. 84
    Ginger the tom cat says:

    So when this independent Canadian arrives he is going to really shake things up then.

    Hand picked by Cameron and Osbourne I heard .

  85. 85
    Ginger the tom cat says:

    Better start remarketing low cost endowment policies too .

  86. 86
    XXXxx says:

    He did not personally but the banker’s asked to have little or no regulation as it cramped their style, Gordy and Ballsy said ok, and the bankers did the rest.

  87. 87
    Anon says:

    Wake up–Clifford is only the first victim of the Saville hysteria.

    All those out there who are crowing because you don’t like Clifford think of this: do you want to live in a world where any demented female can claim that, some time in the last 50 years, you looked at her in a way she didn’t much care for and so Plod comes racing around mob-handed as if you are a knife and ski-mask type rapist?.

    Is some obscure revenge on Clifford worth it when it helps with the leftist agenda now being advanced to create a country what has happened to Clifford can happen to anyone withn a penis.?

  88. 88
    Synic says:

    I hope Max Clifford has tucked away copies of all the yet unpublished scandal he must have on many politicians and celeb. luvvies, so that plod won’t have been able to destroy it after searching his house.

    If they try and send you down, then take all the fuckers with you Max.

  89. 89
    nudge nudge, wink wink says:

    I have it on good authority that those bin bags removed from the house by the Police contained the remains of a hamster.

  90. 90
    I Hate Tesco AND the Pope says:

    I’ve warned you before, Anonymous, but you never listen. Please ask Nurse to double your medication, and then fuck off.

  91. 91
    Russian Oligarch (and his bent City solicitors) says:

    Not really

    You just bung the PR scum and they open their legs (or buttocks depending on your taste)

    We do it anonymously so no one knows who exactly is laundering our reputations

  92. 92
    Thomas from Tonna says:

    Llanelli = Llanelly

  93. 93
    SaltPetre says:

    Such mirth

  94. 94
    Gordon Browns cut price flat says:

    Splash splash Maxwells silver hammer ?

  95. 95
    Thomas from Tonna says:

    A ” rozzer ” ?

    That really is a blast from the past.

  96. 96
    Airey Belvoir says:

    ..after giving the lad a good reaming.

  97. 97
    Gareth Pierces sparkling personality says:

    He hasnt been charged and unless he is subject to specific bail conditions so there is no restriction on him talking to the press.

  98. 98
    Stephfanny sees the light shining out of her arse says:

    Go back to the Gold Standard, that will restrict the thieving politicians and screwball economists.

  99. 99
    Ginger the tom cat says:

    Such a policy is stacking up problems for the future .

  100. 100
    Airey Belvoir says:

    Surely the biggest drawback in the jungle is an elephant’s foreskin?

  101. 101
    IPCC are a waste of space. says:

    A mere amateur. Why publish at all? Just keep investigating for ever — a nice little earner — e.g. Plods’ assassination of Duggan.

  102. 102
    T. P. Fuller says:


    BTW your punctuation is weak. Seek help. Call the Punctuation Helpline. Calls cost £1 a minute from a landline. Mobile providers may charge more – see their terms and conditions. Calls may be recorded for training purposes. The Punctuation Helpline is a nonprofit organisation approved by HM Government.

  103. 103
    Synic says:

    Couldn’t possibly be incontinent plods getting their palms greased, could it?

  104. 104
    Daniel says:

    “Classic case of someone who can dish it out but can’t take it.”

    He stood on the steps on the police station just after being released from 12 hours of custody, gave a statement and answered questions (and did the same again this morning).

    Most celebs get straight in the car and flee.

  105. 105
    perry Mason says:

    Savile has completely stifled all serious political debate in this country.

    What should happen is that his body should be dug up from that cliff in Scarborough and transported to BBC Broadcasting House in London .

    His body in full public view should be beheaded . Then his body should be hung drawn and quartered through the streets of London with his entrails finally being deposited on the minute hand of Big Ben .

    Only in this way can all those poor boys and girls get closure and will not have to spend years and years in Courts with Lawyers .

  106. 106
    Daniel says:

    They could be “securing” any dirt he may have on the great and the good.

    “Keep quiet Max, and we can make these allegations go away…”

  107. 107
    Daniel says:

    Funny how all but one of the arrested people so far have been household names. How come some unknown BBC producer/assistant/cleaner wasn’t also a pedo/rapist/groper?

    Bit like how people who claim to do reincarnated are usually someone well known from history, like Joan of Arc or Julius Caesar, not some farmer from Suffolk who died age 42.

  108. 108
    Hank the Cat says:

    It worked with Cromwells body

  109. 109
    Hank the Cat says:

    Ed milliband thinks he was reincarnated, Judas

  110. 110
    Living in 98 percent white Merseyside says:

    Never too late to convert them.

  111. 111
    Living in 98 percent white Merseyside says:

    I often say rozzers. I find bizzies a bit common.

  112. 112
    nigelforengland says:

    Clifford has two choices, either take whatever the police have on him or grass up his clients.

  113. 113
    Living in 98 percent white Merseyside says:

    And Shoreditch, and Stepney, and Poplar!

  114. 114
    Living in 98 percent white Merseyside says:

    Don’t they already do that in Bradford?

  115. 115
    Jimmy says:

    This laves the very obvious question: where do the victims go to get the best deal from the tabs?


  116. 116
    Ginger the tom cat says:

    At last a serious post on this site

  117. 117
    Anonymous says:

    Do you mean non-profit?

  118. 118
    Ginger the tom cat says:

    They say a rolling stone gathers no moss .

  119. 119
    Firth says:

    the NHS has always sought to encourage and reward initiative

    – the midwife thought Guido’s afterbirth was less troublesome than the birth so, to save an awful lot of trouble, she decided to throw the first bit away

  120. 120
    Sir Jimmy Savile says:

    Now then, now then ooooaaahghhhhoooooogghhh *chomps cigar* It’s enough to put you off your stroke trying to do some fiddling and having Stuart Hall, Freddie Starr and Gary Glitter crowding round.

  121. 121
    Ten Shun! says:

    That must be why they are sending the army in to sort out discipline in the schools.

  122. 122
    Constable Painting says:

    I think it preceded “Fuzz”.

  123. 123
    Constable Painting says:

    Indeed, but to do that you actually have a few bars of the stuff in the drawer.

  124. 124
    Constable Painting says:

    * have to have

  125. 125
    Constable Painting says:

    They should rename themselves to the Brazenly Broadcasting Communism station

  126. 126
    restore the monasteries says:

    Wouldn,t it be,The House of Hanover, cos Vicky was their from 1837 to 1901,
    if memory serves,and,this old book is correct.

  127. 127
    Constable Painting says:

    “whatever the police have on him…” and vice versa?

  128. 128
    sacre bleu says:

    Mick and Kate? Nah, don’t believe it.

  129. 129
    Marion the cat says:

    While Cameron stuffs the poorest and most hopeless in society just to continue ‘bunging’ his millionaire father in law over wind-farms. I have grown to hate the bastard ever since he took control. Everybody, please don’t be duped by the worry of the Milliband Kid, if we all vote UKIP we can sort this out. CHRIST now he now wants homos to marry in church. Isn’t his obsession with the shirt-lifting fraternity a bit worrying. F**K OFF you bastard.

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