November 29th, 2012

Why the Prime Mentalist is Speaking Today

Hold the front page: Gordon Brown is speaking in Parliament today. And why is the jet-setting Prime Mentalist gracing us with his presence? He’ll be speaking in a debate on Scottish independence, but don’t let that fool you. The only reason Gordon is speaking, today of all days, is that he somehow got wind of the huge celebrations planned tomorrow to mark the one year anniversary of the last time he spoke in the House. That’s right, the last time Brown spoke in Parliament was on the 30th November 2011. His utter contempt for serving Parliament and his constituents knows no bounds…


  1. 1
    Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

    Gordon is a moron.


    • 3
      Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

      Apologies – totally unfair to morons.


    • 21
      Revd. (£rd Fucking Way) Phoney B£iar, sanctimonious git and £iar, emoting and wiv stupid grin says:

      Hi !!! and Hullo !!!!

      I’m addressing my comments to all members of the Tory Party who admire me so much! You remember don’t you ?! – you admired me so much and for so long you ached to have me lead you! – and as I was busy you chose my boy Dave as a kind of proxy!!

      Well, – I want you now to really, really, push hard to boost me to become President of the €USSR! It’ll be good for me! – and good for you! – especially when my boy Dave gets the UK safely and entirely into the Community Partnership of the Socialist Paradise that is the €USSR!!

      And I ask this, not as an afterthought!! but as something to which I have given deep spiritual thought!!! – and in a deeply personal and meaningful way! Cherry and the Crones in her Coven have also given deep thought to this and done their crystals and pendulums an’ stuff and they agree wiv me.

      Also, I wrote Lev’s Report for him – so my boy Dave is right grateful!

      Bye – must fly!! I’ve got to see some very rich investors in my Charity! Hope you enjoy Gordon !


    • 25
      Anonymous says:

      Issue is, we cannot have a system where by one who wants to become PM has to go cap in hand in-front of a newspaper owner, his/her family and senior staff. Also we cannot have a system where by police doesn’t investigate criminal offence committed by newspaper staff.

      If these can only be change by changing the law so be it. Hope we end up changing the law as to what % of circulation can be owned by one organisation.


      • 29 says:

        Changing the law could easily make it more likely that politicians will end up in the hands of the media or the media in the hands of politicians. Who would want that?


      • 97
        CarryHole is a Huge Hunt says:

        Areopagitica: A speech of Mr. John Milton for the Liberty of Unlicensed Printing to the Parliament of England is a 1644 prose polemical tract by English author John Milton against censorship. Areopagitica is among history’s most influential and impassioned philosophical defences of the principle of a right to freedom of speech and expression, which was written in opposition to licensing and censorship. It is regarded as one of the most eloquent defences of press freedom ever written because many of its expressed principles form the basis for modern justifications of that right.


        • 101
          CarryHole is a Huge Hunt says:

          Progressives for returning to 1643 values!


          • Anonymous says:

            We had few press abusing the freedom of others and trying to govern this country. This is what is needed to be changed.


          • Anonymous says:

            Issue is, it cannot go on as it went. It is pathetic when UK PM has to go Australia, have pyjama party or even go and see him on his boat. Even some police officer were bought some how.

            There should be accountability of press, it can only be done with a change in law.


    • 105
      Rab Butler says:

      Brown must be a fairly junior freemason for top lizard freemason Murdoch to turn on him.


  2. 2
    Kebab Time says:

    Gordon speaks in Parliament on the day Leveson is published, a coincidence, i think not.


  3. 4
    Ben Fellows says:

    He can chase me !


  4. 5
    Time 2 CTRL, ALT & DEL says:

    My experience says the less he does the better for us all. Worth every penny to keep him out of the way.


  5. 6
    A W_G says:

    Given the damage he caused to the UK whilst living rent free in Downing St, is anybody surprised he doesn’t give a hoot about the people who employ him to represent their interests


  6. 7
    Steve Miliband says:

    Just popping in with his expense claims, might as well speak while everyone else is going on about Leninson


  7. 8
    Buster Gasket says:

    Waiting for his words of wisdom is a real nail biter


  8. 9
    Anonymous says:

    Gordon is a horrednous, self-serving, arrogant Hunt$ but we knew that.


  9. 10
    Steve Miliband says:

    So that’s Scottish Independence in the bag for the SNP then


  10. 11
    Ed Balls says:

    Once a year is far too often


  11. 12
    twinscrew says:

    What does this say about his constituents, discuss.


  12. 13 says:

    Is he going to denounce Nadine Dorries for taking time away from the Commons? Isn’t that what socialist hypocrites do?


  13. 14
    CarryHole is a Huge Hunt says:

    London is now re-accursed.


  14. 15
    Prince Vultan says:

    Gordon’s – allive ?


  15. 19
    Lord Justice Leveson says:

    An absolutely brilliant Prime Minister. It was his stunning leadership at a time of great crisis in our nation’s history that convinced me that the press must be regulated by our parliamentarians. This man’s wisdom is an example to us all.


  16. 22
    George Gideon Oliver Osborne says:

    I used to feel slightly shameful when telling charities to piss off when cold calling me. Now I enjoy it.


  17. 23
    Anonymous says:

    Is he any different from any other politician, other than it’s a year since he spoke in Parliament?

    The utter contempt, (that started with Blair and the huge majorities he managed to steal from the electorate), that all politicians hold us plebs in, their desire to strip every expense code bare and their ego that demands they know best, are just some reasons why I will never vote for any of them. Democracy and Parliament is no longer paramount today.

    Time to move on from the liblabcon and demand a change. Let’s open the windows and let the stench out. No amount of new sewers built around Westminster will remove the the stench. Don’t put them there in the first place. If you do, you are agreeing to all that they do, with your blessing and vote!


    • 140
      Living in 98 percent white Merseyside (with a view towards 99% white N. Wales) says:

      It started with the Rt.Hon and Noble Lady.


  18. 27
    restore the monasteries says:

    It just gets more and more ridiculous,like blair on about the EU.
    Just need mandlebum,and you,ve got the set.KEEP THESE PEOPLE AWAY FROM OUR POLITICS, they had their chance and were way out of their depth,and,sold their souls to the EU,wrecking Britain in the process.They are like the kids at school who shit their trousers.And,who the fuck listens to them?????
    Need to sniff some lavender now,and a cup of chamomile tea.


  19. 30
    Spot says:

    if there was anything of value inside Blair+Brown they should have a few sessions from Graham in Jerry Kyle show, about their level of socio-economic standing. Thanks guys for wrecking this country said CP.


  20. 32
    Arthur Fallowfield says:

    How long before ‘Press-hating law lord in drug-fuelled bondage shame’?


  21. 33
    Hank the Cat says:

    Asylum Night Club Anniversary Party 29th Nov

    Gordon is the warm up act


  22. 34
    Gordon is the Jacko of politics says:


  23. 35
    Edward. says:

    They must want the cleaners in.

    I’d run a mile if the Kirkcaldy madman was walking towards a microphone – I think back to his most recent effort in New York [UN] – no one turned up there either.


  24. 36
    8illy 8owden, the world's greatist umplre says:

    How clever is that!

    Taking the ‘Minister’ from ‘Prime Minister’ and replacing it with ‘Mentalist’, so Gordon is referred to as the ‘Prime Mentalist’.

    And then labour away with it year after year. Genius Guido.


    • 50
      Tay King-dePisse says:

      I prefer “Crime Sinister,” as in “Gordon Brown, former Crime Sinister,” except that, if you didn’t specify Brown, the title could be mistaken by people to apply to Blair, and if you didn’t say “former” they might think it was Camo you were referring to.


  25. 39
    mongalive says:

    Oh come on, it would be a laugh to see the mental fucker speak about Leveson. I miss his bells palsy-like mouth movements.


  26. 40
    Jimmy says:

    If Brown was so bad, why have the Tories nicked their fiscal policies to the letter? In fact……


  27. 41
    Gordon Brown says:

    A year ago I left a rather large jobbie in the second floor bog. Wonder if it has finally made it round the bend.


  28. 42
    Steve Miliband says:

    Maybe he’s bringing a van load of postal votes to drop off in Croydon – never know when they might come in handy


  29. 45
    Last Quango says:

    Is he seriously only speaking so that he can prove the people who are celebrating tomorrow wrong?

    It is such an outrage that this man is even allowed in – has he nothing to say on the economy?

    Has he got wind of what Lord Leveson will say and want to play the poor wronged man?


  30. 46
    Anonymous says:

    If we all just ignore the one-eyed Scottish sociopath, will he just go away?


  31. 47
    Jason Miliband says:

    This means he will have spent more time in the Commons than Dorries. Right?


  32. 48
    Sarah likes Red and Shiny says:


    • 53
      I don't nee d no doctor says:

      Living life on the edge.


    • 54
      Mornington Crescent says:

      …introduced by the Conservative Mayor, no less.

      Talking of attention-seeking Twatters, I see Mrs Bercow is back.


    • 137
      Fishy says:

      The new London buses run on routes in London. That’ll be why you’ve not seen one before.


      • 145
        Living in 98 percent white Merseyside (with a view towards 99% white N. Wales) says:

        Do the ones on the routes through Tower Hamlets have separate entrances for men and women?


    • 173
      Vote Early & Vote Often in Bolton says:

      FFS Give me strentgh. How fucking vapid is this? I really do wonder about twatter and twatterers (is this right?) Do I or anyone on the planet really need or want to know what Mrs Mentalist thinks about fucking buses FFS.

      Sorry, I’m losing it guys. The stupidity of these people knows no bounds.


  33. 51
    Lord Scalded Bollock says:

    May I lead the thanks to note that Sally Bercow in once again back on twitter. Hurrah !


  34. 52
    Richard says:

    Really wish you would leave Gordon Brown’s mental health, whatever the status, out of it. It is irrelevant and should not be used as an insult.


    • 56
      Plato says:

      Is it irrelevant that our PM was almost certainly out of control and at least seriously disturbed when he was in office?


      • 176
        Anonymous says:

        The ‘mental fitness’ test which CMD proposed upon taking office IS in place now for the safety of the British public, isn’t it?


    • 59
      Yurak Hunt says:

      fuck off big tits


    • 62
      Piss Off mong says:

      Irrrelevant? irrelevant? The raving loon ruined the finances of a sound economy he inherited from the Tories.

      We are all now having to pay for Brown’s madness.


    • 66
      bergen says:

      That is an unbelievably crass comment. It appears that many at the top of the Labour party knew he had mental health problems but were intimidated/too cowadly to state it publicly- to hell with the electorate. Are we supposed to join in the charade?


    • 75
      Fuck off, wankstain says:

      Hasn’t stopped Labour smearing others over their mental health. Like former Islington councillor Margaret Hodge, who called a child abuse victim “disturbed” because he dared to complain about the abuse he suffered whilst under the care of Islington which Hodge and her pals did fuck all about despite allegations being brought to her attention on multiple occasions.

      Or how about Blair’s rabble smearing a train crash survivor who had dared to criticise His Holiness St Tony? Let’s not forget all the jokes about Thatcher’s dementia.

      The entire Labour cabinet knew that Brown was completely unfit to be prime minister, something many of them have openly admitted since going into opposition, but at the time they said nothing and let him become pm without even a leadership election in the party. He told the public he “relished” the prospect of a contest, while sending his bully boys to terrorise any possible candidates into silence.


    • 106
      CarryHole is a Huge Hunt says:

      Margaret Moron faked depression to escape jail. Now that’s insulting.


  35. 55
    D'Ancona shovels shit says:

    UKIP supporters won’t like what the Standard’s Matthew D’Ancona had to say yesterday:

    “It is not a Eurosceptic party at all but a gentrified anti-immigration movement.”–its-a-state-of-mind-not-a-party-8364171.html


  36. 57
    Carter Smünt says:

    These guys add up to the same thing, despite having different funny or annoying idiosyncrasies. The way, for example Cameron say’s “look” when he’s asked a question on say an EU referendum.
    And do not kid yourself about Farrage, he’s what’s called controlled opposition, just look who pays his wages…..


  37. 60
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    I wonder what it feels like to be inside Brown’s head? He must wonder himself sometimes.


  38. 64
    SouthEastVoter says:

    Leverson will provide the betamax answer to press regulation.


  39. 67
    Gordon Brown says:

    I told you I saved the World!


  40. 68
    derum derum says:

    why are we funding shite like the Arts Council?


    • 79
      Sir Wiiliam W says:

      In order to prevent artists doing anything that might annoy the ruling class or be pleasing to the other 99% of the populace.


    • 119
      Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

      because, just like opera, the bastards who dole out our money in subsidies are too fucking tight to pay the full price for their pleasures.


  41. 69
    50 days to save the planet says:

    Brown’s a walking advert for the English to support Scottish independence.


  42. 70
    Guido & The Co-Conspiritors says:

    Could anyone who supports state regulation of the press please make yourselves known so I can block you. Thanks.


  43. 71
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Brooks and Coulson having another day out in court.


    • 86
      Carter Smünt says:

      They’re really taking their time about a trial, perhaps their waiting until after Rebecca has had her Xmas dinner at Dave’s and had a bareback ride together? Such a shame, she still in tears after getting a paltry £3.5 million, serves the witch right, that’ll teach her!
      Thank heaven’s for Leveson for telling us that hacking and plod bribery is illegal!
      Before ya get all righteous, the Milly Dowler ‘hacking’ has been showing to be ‘questionable’, just an emotive case to make the sheep bleat for what the elite want.


  44. 76
    Hank the Cat says:

    “There is nothing that you could say to me now that I could ever believe”

    Gordon brown


  45. 83
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    Brown is an absolute disgrace.


  46. 87
    Richard Winnington says:

    Let’s not forget he saved the world…. or did he create it….?


  47. 88
    Richard Winnington says:

    I should add, even gods deserve a break.


  48. 91
    The Respect Party, Socialist Workers Party, Liberty, Joyce Thacker says:

    We demand this poor man’s human rights be respected!

    An 18-year-old man was on Thursday charged with the ra/pe of an 11-year-old girl who was on her way home from school, police said. Opemipo Jaji was also charged with attempted ra/pe following the attack on the schoolgirl in Edmonton, north London, on Friday. He will appear at Enfield Magistrates’ Court on Thursday, Scotland Yard said.


  49. 94
  50. 95
    Rab Butler says:

    He seems very keen to re-write history. In fact most of his public pronouncements since his welcomed demise have been attempts to do so.
    Especially his attempts to blame the banks for the consequences of his own ineptitude. Something gleefully agreed with and taken up by the labour party and their social conditioning unit that is the BBC.


  51. 99
    HoC catering person says:

    We’ve got the Chianti and Stilton ready for him.


  52. 109
    Call me Dave says:



  53. 110
    Fatty Pang says:

    Anyone for lunch


  54. 113
    Oh I say, hey oik! says:

    I see dinner time at the HOC is more important than the Scotland debate, good time to slip the yes vote in as the green leather is the winner, we pay these toerags to debate things that changes our lives and where are they?.


  55. 114
    M’Lard Prezza of Scoff, commenting on Ishoos of the Day, says:

    Them noospapas wanna nuckorl sandwich ‘n’ I’d givem one too if I got close … me wiv no a levorls an orl …. Sandwitch …. Who said sandwich? ….. anybode got any fud ….? Patsy . . ?. . cake . . .? . . .. Phwooooaaaarrh look at the tits on that!!! I’m a tit man meself . . . . . ?


  56. 115
    George Galloway says:

    RECAPTURE the excitement of your childhood by having your family cheer every time you poo in the toile


  57. 120
    Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

    FFS – it’s easy isn’t it.

    The Jocks want independence. If they get it we can stop sending them EU size buckets of money every month. What is there to debate? Just let them go with a wave and a smile and best wishes.


  58. 121
    Beast of kircaldie says:

    M M MR Speaker may I assure the house that there is not on shred of evidence to support th theory that the Mayans were correct to predict that the end of the world would occur on 21/12/12
    A merry Christmas to you all


  59. 123
    Childline supporter says:

    And how long is it since he spent the night in his wife’s bed?


  60. 125
    D.G.'s Office says:

    Fire alarm in BBC New Broadcasting House…


  61. 126
    Anonymous says:

    I’ve got a great idea – make Scotland independent and ban any Scottish MPs standing for election in England! You then get rid of Gordon and Tone and all the other f…. who against our interests.


  62. 130
    Dave the cat says:

    Shackle the bastards, every time they lie, close ‘em down for a day……make them print all apologies on the front page….

    Here is how one man say it over 100 years ago……and we are worse by far!

    “There is no such thing, at this date of the world’s history, in America, as an independent press. You know it and I know it.

    There is not one of you who dares to write your honest opinions, and if you did, you know beforehand that it would never appear in print. I am paid weekly for keeping my honest opinion out of the paper I am connected with. Others of you are paid similar salaries for similar things, and any of you who would be so foolish as to write honest opinions would be out on the streets looking for another job. If I allowed my honest opinions to appear in one issue of my paper, before twenty-four hours my occupation would be gone.

    The business of the journalists is to destroy the truth, to lie outright, to pervert, to vilify, to fawn at the feet of mammon, and to sell his country and his race for his daily bread. You know it and I know it, and what folly is this toasting an independent press?

    We are the tools and vassals of rich men behind the scenes. We are the jumping jacks, they pull the strings and we dance. Our talents, our possibilities and our lives are all the property of other men. We are intellectual prostitutes.”



  63. 132
    Call me Dave says:

    I have now converted to yodaism. Speak in yoda from now on I shall.


  64. 138
    Plato says:

    Brown hasn’t turned up for the debate, anyway.

    He’s just been likened to Brigadoon.


  65. 143
    Mark Carney says:

    Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way.


  66. 148
    Michael Gove says:

    On the tram in Manchester, the next stop is Anchorage. I’m having a kd lang moment.


  67. 151
    I'd love to make a prank call like this to the homophobes here says:


  68. 155
    Comedy Dave says:

    I’ve let in 183000 people this year. At least we’ve got population growth.


  69. 159
    its bleak in sunderland says:

    i hope some Tories like Philip Davies give him a hard time,he was useless as Chancellor totally f…..g inept as PM and is a bad tempered cnut to boot the voters in his constituency must be right mugs for allowing this dereliction to have continued this long.


  70. 163
    Jimmy says:

    Meanwhile his successor as PM has given his first response to Leveson. On Twitter. You must be very proud.


  71. 164
    Bovis Barrat says:

    TWICE? In a year?

    Jesus, at this rate he’ll be needing a Strepsil and a lie down.


  72. 167
    Sgt Moovalong says:

    “He’ll be speaking in a debate on Scottish independence”
    I didnt think there was any meaningful debate on Scottish Independence in the chamber today. Perhaps that was an excuse to someone, as he is some where else


  73. 175
    robbie says:

    Brown would have had nothing to contribute anyway- other than more debt to be divided up.


  74. 177
    John T. says:

    Some people are like clouds .

    When they go away it turns out to be quite a nice day .


  75. 179
    Anonymous says:

    I really hated Brown and all the bollocks that he trotted out as PM, makes you wonder how this sniffling little shit got elected as an MP, well they fucking deservbe him, and the sooner the Scots get full indepedence th better “Fuck Em”


  76. 180
    Anonymous says:

    Damn, I thought he’d topped himself. What a shame…


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Find out more about PLMR

Austrian Chancellor Werner Faymann on Cameron’s refusal to pay the £1.7 billion EU bill by December 1st:

“Well, then he’s gonna pay on December 2nd”

Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!

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