Friday Caption Contest (Sponger-Cake Edition)
To celebrate Denis MacShane’s demise this week’s caption contest sees the shamed expenses cheat pose with the cake given to him upon his return to the Labour Party just this July.
The winner will receive a bottle of Châteauneuf-du-Pape courtesy of the charitable souls at Oddbins.
Their ‘Wine Not War’ campaign calling for peace between Dave and Nick will donate £1 to War Child for every bottle of CNDP sold.
See what they did there.
The winning entry better be good.
Usual rules apply…
“Denis is welcomed into prison”
Former MP finds misspelling of ‘Penis’ surpisingly amusing.
This idiot is finished unless he gets a job in EU.
Kebab Time
Your caption would not be particularly funny if McShane had been to prision before. However, since he has not been to prison, it is not funny at all.
Newsnight
That’s the story.
Lets see if they jail a lord.
“Denis takes the cake”
How about
Denis says “Thanks, but I wanted it sent to me after I am inside, and the files should not be visible”.
or
Denis says “What do you mean I can’t eat it as well”.
Kevin Baron, chairman of standards and privileges committee, claims maximum rent for home owned by Labour shadow minister.
Telegraph
Two of Miliband’s best, right there…
Plato, few names are doing the rounds, all (at least) MPs some even more.
Seems Guido is not in the front with naming. Not sure whether he is afraid or doesn’t know.
He posts shit just to be first. Saddo.
Denis Cake – a shamelessly expensive concoction of decadent deceit, infused over cooked books and bathed in a premature vat of forgiveness – only one helping is advised
On the 4th of July while the Labour Party were happily re-admitting Denis MacShane, the Rotherham Politics website said the “Rotherham Constituency Labour Party now has a public service to render to the people – to rid us of this dishonourable, loathsome and greedy MP and chose someone in whom we can all take pride and place our trust!”
https://rotherhampolitics.wordpress.com/page/21/
Unlike Tony B£iar’s fine word’s in 1997, The Labour Party and the Rotherham Constituency Labour Party in particular have proved they are not servants of the people
I didn’t know Rory was an MP
Scotch on the rocks.
Who bought this lovely cake and where’s the receipt
@OneNationLabour escapology aide has sent me a file with a cake in it.
Michael Crick, a former Newsnight presenter and now a political correspondent with Channel 4 News, later said: “[A] ‘senior political figure’ due to be accused tonight by BBC of being paedophile denies allegations and tells me he’ll issue a libel writ agains the BBC.”
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/jimmy-savile/9651321/Senior-political-figure-threatens-to-sue-BBC-over-paedophile-claims.html
Wins it for me!
My thanks David Laws and the Cabinet, I’m glad to be back in the trough with you.
From David Laws: welcome back to the Cabinet me old mate.
Who is the idiot who ordered and gave him the cake?? ……….. name and shame !!
Welcome Back Denis
What is happening about the Newsnight story? Its more important than this idiot who might end up behind bars.
Are those two long things files stuck to the cake?
KARMA!!!!!!
“I hope there is a file in it. I may need one”
let them tweet cake
Just think if I had been an OAP who couldn’t pay his poll-tax I would be banged up but luckily I am an MP
Sorry Denis, we did’t think we could claim for fags and were struggling for decoration so we founds these outside.
Fiddler. Caught.
from your friendly staff at the job centre.
At least he resigned as an MP unlike follow Tory MPs.
What is the difference between what this person did and David Laws?
Not much.
back doors and front doors??
OF COURSE, WHY DIDNT I THINK OF THAT
“Typical bloody Labour Party … they put the file on the OUTSIDE of the cake”
Fuck off, Denis.
Not a caption, just what I think.
How about
“lying, thieving, bucktoothed foreigner holds a cake”
“MacShane caught fiddling expenses. ” Who the hell calls their child ‘expenses’?
best yet and topical to boot
Guido what about this in P-E, http://www.private-eye.co.uk/sections.php?section_link=street_of_shame& , actities in Billionaires Row, Finchley. Why doesn’t Dirty Des take you jogging 6.30 hours it will get you fit, and who knows who will see on Wimbledon Common.
Hislop is now a paid up stooge of the BBC – ergo PE has lot all credibility.
Unfortunately, you have a point. Savileballs.
Desmond must be the only British citizen who lives on Bishops Avenue. Says everything about his taste.
Who can the BBC get now to talk bollocks on the EU?
Don’t worry MacShame will soon be presenting for L B C
aka Labors Blo*ated Cro*oks…… & No doubt doing News paper
TV reviews for the Dirty Digger……..
Who ever said Crime does not pay ??
I even pre-claimed for the file in the cake…..
I’m getting confused, I’ve not had time to catch up with much news lately. Is this HoC expenses corruption or paedophila? By the look of whoever is in the photo, I would not let my daughter within 10 miles of the c’nt
Its said prisons are colleges for criminals , I guess Westminster’s the uni where you get you Master , PHD , and a research grant if you come up with a scam to screw the taxpayer
Look at my prize for having a shinier forehead than DC
You mean ‘pink’ Dave?
No that is just the condom he wears over his head
I like blowing things up. Good fun !
Rodent with cake found at garage sale.
“Denis Macshane presents himself with a cake at a party attended by Denis Macshane”
paid for on expenses
For some reason The Rotherham Advertiser seem to love him even though there are letters complaining about him most weeks. There again that’s Rotherham for you!
What about all the money he fiddled for his constituency expenses, have they been forgotten?
If he gets thrown out of the HoC he can take up a new career converting garages into offices
Next moment, out of the cake popped John Bercow!
I thang yow!
BBC staff present Denis with a cake after leaving the HoC
“Denis is given the dreaded vote of confidence by Ed and Labour”
The party’s over.
MacShane fails in shameless attempt to smuggle file into Belshmarsh.
W.W.
Save it until you’re on the inside, Denis, there’s a file inside
And you thought you could have your cake and eat it.
I like this. Far better than mine which was frankly crap.
W.W.
Sorry Natalie, missed yours and posted similar later on. Would delete if poss.
I am a sponge and parasite. You can keep the wine cus I like blowing things up!
‘Fucking Thief…’ Will that do?
Not the only “icing on the cake” you’ve been having, Denis.
… to the dole?
Disgraced MP opens gift from the Crown Prosecution Service.
Im having my cake and eating it
McShane celebrates his new email address
McShane@thecentre4fakesheikhs
Can’t have your cake. and eat it
… and here’s one I made earlier…
No files on me!
The next one will be in the shape of a copper, a lawyer and a prison cell.
See what happened when I shook hands with the House Of Commons fee clerk ?
I only got 2 fingers left on my right hand !
A prediction: This is the photograph that an increasingly demented Denis MacShane will have pinned to his prison cell wall..
The cake and his watch are colour co-ordinated??
“Have you still got the receipt?”
See I’ve got away with it!!
You’re supposed to put the files in the cake, dimwits
Denis wonders at the stupidity of the baker who put the metal files on top of the cake instead of inside.
“Giving me a cake isn’t going to stop me seeing you in cell A21 gorgeous boy”
My beloved OneNation Labour party are happy to accept me for the crook that I am!
The cake from the two Eds was originally going to run with the soap-on-a-rope motif, but they thought that the two dodgy-looking scrapers was probably a better bet.
Van Rumpoy presents fellow thief with cake on hearing of his new job in the Commission.
Denis reckons he can probably claim possible marzipan and ice piping expenses….
The Standards and Privileges Committee hold their Christmas Party..
“what can I have next time?”
Denis to find out his cake is not the only sponge in prison.
Could someone get me another one with a file in please because I really should be eating it on C-Wing.. Oh don’t forget the receipt!
To all those who support the Labourt party…..MacShane on you!
Can I have the receipt for this cake?
It’s in the file.
LOL, cake shaped like a Jim’ll Fix It badge.
With my expenses record everything is co-ordinated
as your paying !!
The files are supposed to go inside the cake.
Is he holding a garage sale this weekend to boost his funds?
No funnies just can’t tell you all how very glad this makes me feel, and Knacker of The Yard to come too.
Delightful!
Splendid! Huhne the Hoon to go down in January, closely followed by MacShame.
Get the beers in.
I really should be on bread & water, but what the hell I will trough the lot as I don’t want to ‘shed’ the ‘pounds’
Masturbating Chipmunk wins MP-Lookalike Competition
“that’s all folks”
Hunt holds cake
After failing to get prisoners the vote, denis macshane finds himself a cunning plan to get himself out of his future predicament…
Theiving knob poses with cake
File under ‘C’ for convict.
“I don’t care what colour his socks are, or what colour sheets he sleeps between. Christopher Meyer … has broken some of the absolutely first rules of confidence a senior public servant has.”…on the other hand I am an elected MP so I only do what’s expected of an MP
Time for the sponger and the parasite to be be locked up!
A little edit and it reads “welcome black penis” – which may well be a prophecy for his future behind bars
very good!
I think there’s dough in it…
McShane gets his cake & eats it & everyone else’s
Okay, who has nicked my expense chitty for the oddbins donated bottle of wine !!!
Anyone else notice there are two files on the cake.
Bugger, beat me to it
Maybe the cake’s from his fellow chisellers?
Let them eat cake
I said that.
In an ironic twist, what Denis didn’t know was he’d be serving his time in a re-built Spandau Prison. On his own. .
God works in Strangeways, His wonders to perform…
After putting down the cake Denis noticed that he had sticky fingers!
+1
Beat me to it damn you!
Like it anonymouse.
We will not be allowing any comments on our MacShane article because we feel they may be somewhat negative.
Looks like Denis does not know the meaning of irony
Maybe not, but he sure knows how to hoover up his loot!
“this is a lovely cake mrs doyle, thank you so much, i assure you the money was just resting in my bank account”
Anyone for Denis?
The computers say No.
The police should be called!
They are – they’re called “Police”.
there’s jam in it…. for me!!
all jam today, violent bum r#pe tomorrow
I hope they got a receipt for this because I don’t want to forge any more for my expenses.
Don’t worry comrades. We’ve got an exclusive on Newsnight tonight which will smother the MacShane story.
Could he be saying:
“Do you like it? I bought all the ingredients whilst on my European fact finding missions….I then paid my wife to bake it and invoice me for her time and other associated costs.
See- your money IS being spent wisely!!!”
Second tears to follow…?
Now how do you do that old trick – have your cake and eat it?
Buy two cakes?
Red-faced slaphead can no longer have his cake and eat it
The Guardianistas had a whip round for a cardboard replica.
Unsuccessfully Denis tries to camouflage the Files, again.
!
WTF Silent Bob. Shut the fuck up for God’s sake.
Hello Silent are you still with us …
Very nice to see you back but NO NEED TO SHOUT SO LOUD dearie ……
We’ve developed featherlite accoustic speakers since your day . They pick up a pin dropping at five miles — so watch what you say !!
Hi S.B. I notice you are your usual chatty self.
Go on Guido, give it to Bob. After all, some things are funny enough without comment.
Thanks for the cake Chris, now stop poncing around and send me your underpants so I can add it to these two pencils and prepare my ‘wibble wibble’ defence.
MP looking forward to more free accommodation curtesy of the taxpayer
Pack a toothbrush
And a packet of ‘Extra Safe’.
Own up! Who’s eaten the bottom of the ‘P’???
My name’s DENIS McShane not IAN McShane !!
I’ve never handled dodgy antiques in my life
what european arrest warrant is that?
WTF, the Telegraph is telling me I’ve accessed my 20 free articles for this month and I’ll have to pay £1.99 to see any more.
FUCK RIGHT OFF!
I should add that I’m in the UK and this charge shouldn’t apply to me.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2012/nov/01/telegraph-paywall
make sure your VPN is UK based.
I had add-ons disabled. Seems OK now.
Whew!
If you are going through your corporate VPN then you probably work for a none UK organisation.
Oh and they will be monitoring all the sites you visit so watch out !
“Of course I’ll beat the rap– it’ll be a cakewalk!”
Feck! Beat me
Go and have your dinner, Jack.
“From the boys on ‘E’ Wing”
McShane by name, McShame by nature.
“You just wait until you see the size of my expense claim for this.”
I thought you said I could have my cake and eat it.
Denis MacShane shows off his new £100k a year office.
W.W.
“Denis makes himself a cake so he has something to look forward to upon his release from prison”.
DM: “Compliments to the Chef who seems to have done a far better job of baking this cake than I have of cooking the books!”
It’s not for me; it’s for the “General Manager”!
Denis fooled by Guido’s concealed camera cake.
See What The Hack Saw blog.
Freddie Starr, who was arrested on Thursday by police investigating the Jimmy Savile abuse scandal, has returned for further questioning. Mr Starr, from Warwickshire, was arrested on Thursday evening and bailed in the early hours of Friday morning. He is being interviewed by officers from Operation Yewtree on suspicion of sexual offences. His arrest falls under the strand of the investigation classed as “Savile and others”.
In a statement the Met Police said Mr Starr had returned on bail and was being questioned.
The reason he returned was because they saw no point in keeping him in a cell overnight.
“Plus, as an added bonus, I will only charge the taxpayer for the icing on the cake!”
Did you remember the file?
Come quietly Spiny Norman, that bugs bunny disguise can’t fool Napper of the Yard!
Celebrations are a trifle early
Hope he gets custardy.
Might want to add a few more bars to that cake, Denis
‘Big Bubba’ in D-wing says to make sure and bring the cake with you and he’ll promise to use vaseline.
How much can I claim for this cake?
Angel cake in July.
Fruitcake today.
Baumkuchen and Spotted Dick any time soon.
New entrant for ”The Great British Rake Off”
Might as well close compo now GF.
Winner.
“Is rotherham’s twin town Saint-Quentin or San-Quentin”
Folsom praise for that one.
Rotherham’s MP says he was proud to represent the city of steal
Balls just manages to stop ‘idiot Ed’ giving Denis their ‘other cake.’
“Sorry you’re nicked!”
Let them eat cake, i’m alright jack
Denis makes exceedingly good fakes
Mr MacShane makes exceedingly good fakes.
“I put this cake down as ten grand’s worth of office supplies.”
Same time next year?
Very disappointed with DanHodges over on the dailytelegraph where has is arguing that mcshane only acquired this extra money from us because we didn’t pay him enough in the first place.
Mr Hodges says unless we raise MP’s salaries we are going to have more and more mp’s forging expenses claims just like mcshane.
That is disappointing Nell. So if you think you aren’t being paid enough, it’s OK to raid your employers’ bank account when they aren’t looking?
McShame is warmly welcomed in Brussels by other EU troughers
Dennis is given a warm welcome back, as he rejoins Smug Bastards Anonymous.
W.W.
CPS finds the Denis files at last.
And with my right hand………I’m showing two fingers.
“Tax Payers’ Money…? Gateauver it!” he laughed.
“Sponge? I certainly did.”
++LOL+++
He just posted this on his website a minute ago. Quite sickeningly, he doesn’t take ANY responsibility and says he’s innocent. What a fucking scumbag.
This is all I am saying and I will not be adding anything or doing interviews
“I am shocked and saddened that the B** has won its 3 year campaign to destroy my political career as a Labour MP despite a full police investigation which decided not to proceed after investigations and interviews. I am glad the Committee notes that there is no question of personal gain. Clearly I deeply regret that the way I chose to be reimbursed for costs related to my work in Europe and in combating anti-s*mitism, including being the Prime Minister’s personal envoy, has been judged so harshly. I remain committed to work for progressive values, for Britain playing a full part in Europe, and for combating anti-s*mitism even though I can no longer undertake this work as a Labour MP. I am consulting family and friends as I consider my position and study the full implications of the report. I am obviously desperately sorry for any embarrassment I have caused my beloved Labour Party and its leader Ed Miliband whom I greatly admire.”
He’s actually trying to paint his crimes as being his fight against anti-s*mitism. There are no depths this man won’t stoop to.
If there is no answer available try the Holcause approach.
WTF
So Nick Griffiin personally typed all the bogus invoices up and bough the fucking hundreds of PC’s, and did business (ha ha) with a company he controlled and made a fucking shed appear as if it was a fucking huge expensive office.
Try looking a little bit closer to home McShame for someone to blame.
If any of you plebs have a problem with what I have written then kindly get in touch and give me piece of your mind …
Denis MacShane MP
House of Commons
London SW1A 0AA
Telephone:
Westminster: 020 7219 4060
Local Constituency Office: 01709 837577
Why? He won’t be there any more.
Is that why I’m called ‘MacShameless ‘ ??
I doubt whether many labour mps will want to be seen as his friend
So is MacShane saying that the B*P made him thieve from the taxpayer. How does that work MacShane you scumbag pile of shit.
Isn’t the B*P just Old Labour? And Rotherham is just an Old Labour town. So perhaps the locals just want the real Labour Party back.
Bye Denis. But it’s Barnesy that I feel sorry for. Poor woman, what did she see in him?
He’s desperately sorry now. Apparently.
Red carpet gets rolled out at Wormwood Scrubbs
I’ve had the same message embroidered on my underpants…bet they’ll love them in bellmarsh
When he cut the cake Denis found the file in it.
The file was on a memory stick and said “One file as requested! Good luck..love Ed”
The winner!
Fraud Squad Freed to Feature Fiddle Fail Fraudster Files
Macshame’s Westminster office: 020 7219 4060
Local Constituency Office: 01709 837577
What’s polish for Papillon?
Louise!!!
Mr. Sheen,. obviously
Toad in a hole gets unwarranted recognition for services to slime
Greasy Pole slips down greasy pole…
Good. Maybe good enough…
Ah, thanks for the files … I’ll be needing these to get out of prison!
I cooked this up myself, just like the expenses…
“Note – two strikes and you’re out”…
“Meanwhile, look pleased with the Asda basic for the plebs”.
“Owzabout that then boys and girls! Now. Who’d like to join Uncle Dennis in his garage for a piece of cake?”
How to make the perfect
Victoria Derbyshire Sponger cake
200g caster sugar {claim for 6 bags}
200g softened butter {claim for 8 tubs}
4 eggs {claim for 40 doz}
1 tsp baking powder {claim for 1 ton}
2 tbsp milk {claim for 16 pints}
340g jar good-quality strawberry jam {claim for 2 pallets}
copy out 19 times and post to fees office.
Wait 7 days then buy Krispy Kreams for whole family and pocket remaining cash
Dehlinis McSmith says..
“You can’t go wrong with this perfect party political cake – full of spongey goodness. As an alternative to jam, why not stuff with laptops?”
I was going to make humble pie but the BEE NP stole my recipe
My best recipe is claim chowder
OK, so I’ve picked up the sponge. What happens now, Big Bubba ??
You’ll need some jam on it.
There was an old crook called McShane
Who fiddled expenses for personal gain
Oh for a bug in his cell
So we could broadcast his yell
And laugh at his extreme rectal pain
There once was a thief called McShane
Who claimed for laptops again and again
and again and again and again
and again and again and again
Writing up his expenses was a bloody pain.
Five finger Discount Dennis
That takes the cake!
Denis: This is my slice.
Sponger steals cake from Thatcher seance party.
Sometimes it writes itself. Thank you wiki.
“MacShane had written an article for The Guardian in which he played down the expenses scandal.
“There will come a moment when moats and manure, bath plugs and tampons will be seen as a wonderful moment of British fiddling, but more on a Dad’s Army scale than the real corruption of politics.”
In 2008, MacShane supported Michael Martin as Speaker, calling for Conservative Douglas Carswell to be disciplined for calling for Martin to resign for failing to reform expenses.
MacShane owns houses in Clapham and Rotherham.
In his spare time, he enjoys skiing and running
Not much opportunity for running and skiing in Pentonville.
Plenty of time to take up an new hobby – like buggery.
buggering the taxpayers in hardly a new hobby in Westminster
“Once you have cooked your books for just long enough to cover up dodgy business set-ups, cover in white icing you can buy ready-made quite cheaply from any supermarket, or £12,900 from EPI”
Time for the parasites to fuck off and do one!
He’s gattaux go ……straight to jail!!!
Chuckle
Denis guilty of a major U-turn!
The EU commemorates McShane’s contribution to European accounting with a cake, courtesy of the EPI.
No Denis, that is not what you use to file accounts.
What is Bercow doing about MacShane, one of his beloved labour thieves. If it was a tory, Millionaireband would be all over the TV screens.
“I made it myself, only don’t tell anyone”.
Camera – Hungary?
Dennis – no..Polish.
Michael Fish wonders why he has been given a cake with derek on it !!!
Useless Hunt!
NuLiebor fraudster hiding behind Bugs Bunny impression.
Dennis gets some practice in with a typical EU breakfast.
macshane, you low down dirty bastard. And then pulling the anti-semite card (getting increasingly tiresome you Hunt).
Lets hope you go down with you’re cake you buck-toothed Hunt.
And lets be hoping you meet someone inside who will cock you more times than Elmer Fudds rifle, you despicable excuse of a waste of space Hunt. The best part of macshame ran down his mothers leg.
Go back to your constituency and prepare for prison
Could be the winner ……. IMHO
It’s the taxpayer sponge!
..is it cake or biscuits that I can claim the VAT back on?
A pie would have suited him better; something to put his fingers in.
Dyslexic club welcomes back a member
The BBC News channel seems overly sympathetic towards Denis MacShane. WHY?
Need you ask?
Lefty
Pro Europe
Pro BBC
Champagne Socialist
Always available for a lefty sound bite to smear Tories
Keith Vaz is another one as it Lard Prescott, 5 bellies Smiff, Vaz and Twatson.
but don’t forget The (Dis)Chairman of BBC, Fang Pang stating
the trust “we all have” in the B B C aka The decades old
Kid*die Fid*dlers Organisation……
Nothing will change at this cess*pit & the two inquiries will
result in bucket loads of WH*ITE WA*SH being spread everywhere
to cover it all up……..
No doubt with a few peerages thrown to help some escape…..
And some anal lube in the toilets.
Sponge Bob twat pants
..In this weeks class i’ll show you how to make an escape if being chased by an enraged lord Prescott.
Well, we know John Prescott wasn’t at that party. If he had been, the cake wouldn’t have survived in its original condition, if indeed at all, before presentation. If there’s one thing surer than Shameless MacShane lining his pocket it’s Prezza stuffing his gullet.
In terms of extremes he’s obviously never met Tony Adams of Kidderminster -what a fat bastard and trougher.
“It’s not a cake, it’s my new constituency office!”
“Let them eat cake!”
To quote Oscar Wilde. To lose the labour whip once proves you are a thieving scumbag, to lose the labour whip twice proves you are a shitty, hypocritical, thieving, lying, typical of labour scumbag.
Just as with me, Matyjaszek can resist everything but temptation.
I wish I had said that.
Denis MacShane shows off the cushion he will need to sit on after a couple of days in prison.
I hope he chokes on it!
I usually get a big slice of the cake but now I’ve got the whole lot!
Parasites!
Rodent wants to have his cake and eat it.
Denis fixed it for Denis.
Tarte Ta-Ta!
Denis proudly displays the cake he received from Gordon Brown upon his return to the House of Commons …
“The bakery recipt definitely says ‘Research and Translation Services – £13 000′, right?”
Caption “The two Ed’s get away with it but all I get is this shitty cake”
So Newsnight Are going to expose a Tory politician are a kiddie fiddler are they? How decent of them. Of course if they do, that will only beg the question why did they fail to expose Jimmy Savile?
Could this be once again the BBC working hand in hand with fatty Watson to divert attention away from the BBC’s perversion for children?
In a word : yes.
The Bunter impressions at kids’ parties aren’t doing so well at the moment so I need some other employment to supplement my pathetic MP’s salary.
Bombe Surprise.
What was that prize again? a bottle of Châteauneuf-du-TAT.
Freshly baked with only the finest ingredients by Fortnum and Mason.
No expenses spared!
Don’t worry Denis.. That odd bloke with white hair and a cigar will be along soon with the keys to let you out.
Now then, now then, I get to play with him in the morgue later on, as it happens.
Sod the caption competition. McShane, you are f**ked. Goodnight.
Dennis is welcomed back again, to Labour’s Hall of Infamy !!
I have a fine pair of lungs. I intend to exercise them this weekend!
Just noticed a Google ad – ‘low prices on Dennis McShane at Amazon’
Could be a bargain…how much change is hidden down the back of his sofa
aka constituency office?
I thought sponging off the taxpayer would be a cakewalk. Actually it just led to a penal complex.
‘Is there a file in this?’
Giant pistachio seeks refuge behind shiny criminal.
get the knives out – we all want a slice.
All Biros disappear through a wormhole in space theory is disproved by cake maker.
Denis to HOC IT support “This is the ninth time this has happened, the screen is frozen and I can’t find the keyboard!”
Trougher scoffer reaches highest gateau plateau.
Well I’ve taken the biscuit, I might as well take the cake too!
“Can I have the receipt for this please” ?
Right then, who’s going to get the knives out?
DM: “Not the first time I’ve had my hands on a large sweetener!”
Thief in trumphant return to his (mille)band.
The Great British… Fake off!
“From the lads at the Interview Room down the Station”
Nice one.
MP delighted with his new Laptop, vows will be more careful in future when crossing moat .
“Thank you Denis but when I said you were my bitch now, I didn’t mean it in a metaphorical ‘you have to buy me cakes’ sort of a way.”
If it looks like a crook, walks like a crook and quacks like a crook – it’s MacShane.
And now it’s official – great result.
Sponger honoured by labour party
‘This is a funny looking gravy train’
“(D)odgy (E)xpenses (N)ever (I)’m (S)ure”
I’ll be pissing on it!
There will be more pissing on thatchers.
We don’t want the thieving twat buried here.
Typical MAGUIRE
Maguire ‘hates to be called / tagged / labelled “Magoo Maguire”. He’s just a dirty champagne socialist himself.
Strange looking Polish/Red Indian tries to avoid buggery by offering gift.
Always put on extra icing, it makes it look expensive.
Come for the cake, stay for the expenses shredding.
Member of Parliament Denis MacShane returns to the Bowel Cancer Awareness Campaign sporting not just one ‘occult blood negative’ sample sticks but two. Well done Denis.
Champagne socialist, fresh back from sunnier climes pretends for the plebs that he would actually eat that crap rather than the de rigueur Beluga caviar
“And the icing on the cake is that you even remembered to include the receipt…”
175g/6oz self-raising flour – £10,000.00
1 rounded tsp baking powder – £5,000.00
3 large eggs at room temperature – £15,000.00 (£5,000.00 central heating)
175g/6oz very soft butter – £10,000.00 (£1,000.00 CAP rebate)
175g/6oz golden caster sugar – £12,000.00
½ tsp vanilla extract – £8,000.00
a little sifted icing sugar, for dusting – £4,000.00
Delia Smith consultancy fees – £6,000.00
Claim submitted to Parliament – £70,000.00
Hundreds and thousands – £100,000
i’m just enjoying the no. of entries –
and its ale night for those qualified to sleep peacefully – yippee (well – pee anyway)
Stollen money.
Uitstekend.
The people I feel sorry for are the good folk of Rotherham who have been let down .
Several hours have passed now and not a word of condemnation has been heard from our Leader . Not a word of concern from him for good honest Yorkshire people who through the greed and avarice of a Socialist find themselves tonight disenfranchised but still obliged to pay taxes .
It would only be right that the Leader ensures that at the forthcoming By Election the interests of the people of Rotherham will be to the fore and they will have the very finest Conservative candidate in the land and not an ex SPAD , Research Assistant or a “babe” .
It is the least the people of Rotherham deserve .
Have you ever been to Rotherham?
I have ,i worked round south yorkshire over a twenty year period and there are alot of good people there irrespective of politics.
True enough, there are. I’m not in Rotherham but I’m not far away.
The problem is that the good people are outnumbered.
What I do not understand is why Mr McShane has changed his name .
His dad was Polish, Matiazczek I think, MacShane dumped the polish name to get on in the BBC, mercenary from the get go, utter scum.
Is he of the Semite persuasion?
No he is a Catholic ,redemption and forgivenrss soon
I haven’t seen a cake this bad since I gained a third class degree.
“Oh, fiddle-sticks!”
So we’ve got a theiving toe-rag caught bang to rights and the BBC choose to keep showing that skydiver. Any Tory or Libdem would be torn to shreds by now.
We are right to stress that Denis says he was only thieving to make the world a better place.
Latest generation G4 iPod is unveiled by Denis Jobsworth.
A smiling Denis taking the cake, now cooking the books will soon realise why Fanny Craddock always had a Johnnie at hand.
“If I end up a guest of her majesty the key goes in here”
Shadow cabinet employs “expenses only” filing clerk
Faced with shame, fraud and failure, Dennis MacShane looks on the bright side. “With my track record I’ve now got the ideal CV to become a European Commissioner” said the disgraced MP.
‘Look at my lovely cake.
I wish I still had a party’.
Cute cupcake will have to settle for Brownies tomorrow.
Whip removed from Labour MP after party chiefs observe him slicing cake, a source close to the Leader of the opposition commented
“We were all shocked to see Denis with the cake. His cuts were too fast and too deep”
Another Labour source revealed
“There’s a bakery in my consituency that’s held up by pit-props”
However, the Baker’s Union has defended McShane
“Yes, the cuts were swingeing, but it’s obviously going to cost the public purse a lot more to pay him £60 a week on the dole, than to keep him in his job – think of all the income tax he pays”
Hi Tony it’s Denis McShane here …..
Are there any of those unpaid intern jobs available? There are oh good
But you do pay expenses right?
Can I have the receipt as well?
Guido should be listening to Radio 5.
They are nailing their colours to the mast and supporting McShit. They’ve just done a bit about it all being the fault of the BenP and siding sympathetically with McShit.
The man is a fucking crook, but because he’s a lefty the BBC love him.
BBC = Brazenly Bonking Children.
The Radio 5 Labour lefties are the scum of the earth, aren’t they? No doubt they will be trying to make excuses for all the BBC paedophiles as well when they are all exposed.
“Those nice people from the computer shop made this for me because I was such a regular customer.”
“Can I claim for this cake? Its expensive as its first class not standard class”
“Guiness Book of Records confirms The worlds most expensive cake at over £15k per slice, as Denis the Penis shows off having his cake and eating it”
Somebody given him Liar Cake?
Haven’t read all the comments, but if no one has said it:
McShame is saying “Thanks Gordon”
Winner.
Even the hedgehog shits on this cake are straighter than I am.
McShit’s statement that radio 5 read out had no thing to do with what he’s been found guilty of.
When referring to the Cake, his Secretary got the wrong end of the stick when he said “File it Twice!”.
Best before 2nd November
Just look at this list of beauties.
Only one has ever had a proper job. You couldn’t write a script.
http://labourlist.org/2012/11/shortlist-for-middlesbrough-selection-announced/
Mahroof Hussain is a councillor in Rotherham and has served on the council for the past 10 years.He worked with the Minister for Europe, Rt. Hon Denis MacShane MP as an advisor on Equality in Europe and stood in the 2005 General Election in the Constituency of Sheffield Hallam against Nick Clegg. Hussain is an active member of Unite, and sits on the NPF. He was awarded an MBE for services to local government in 2008.
******** ‘worked’ for MacShame*********
After he reads this list Robocop will stand
Three cheers for robocop a genuine guy.
There seem to be rather a lot of paedophiles and their apologists in Rotherham, Denis’ constituency.
Here’s the Rotherham link to the notorious Rochdale child-rape gang (who were jailed earlier this year), in the form of Labour councillor Aftab Hussain, whose contribution to the legal proceedings was to give glowing ecomiums (ecomii) to the defendants. Is he any relation to Mahroof Hussain?
http://labour25.com/2012/05/12/labour-councillor-aftab-hussain-gives-evidence-in-liverpool-showing-his-support-for-9-muslim-paedophiles/
Notice that one of them is “an active member of Unite and a Rotherham councillor”. Wonder if he knows MacShame.
Referring to the Cake, his Secretary got the wrong end of the stick when Denis said “File it Twice”.
To you just £5 a slice mate
But honestly I cannot beat Sponger cake – so i suggest Guido drink the prize himself
As if he hasn’t already done– you must be new to this website.
“I cooked it myself”
I’ve tried to blame the BNP, Guido, even the Tories, for the shit i’m in, nothing work’s. I know I’ll say ‘Gordon’ told me to do it, that’s always believable.
McShit resigns!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Get those cross hairs on !!!
I can bake cakes and cook the books.
The cakes great,but I will only eat it ,when they give prisoners the vote.
Two files one cake
“Don’t worry lads, I’ll claim the cake on expenses – we’ll say it came from Fortnums”
BOOM bye bye mctwat. Now plod stir yourselves……….
Probably been done but:
Gordon fixed it for me.
We’re thinking of buying a matching couple of these to wear at the Cenotaph. Helps to support our paper, and they look very fetching, don’t they.
http://homewares.guardianoffers.co.uk/p/Gents_Classic_Montgomery_Duffle_Coat.htm
Is it Labour Peer G reville J anner who is desperately trying to get an injunction to stop Newsnight revealing the name of a notorious pa edo ph ile on tonight’s programme?
http://incubusblog.wordpress.com/2012/10/25/power-corrupts/
“You can have your cake and steal it, Dennis”
Returning off long sick leave, House of Commons worker Denis McNutt wonders where his ‘welcome back’ cake disappeared to
Meanwhile, over on Planet DiversityQuota…
Perhaps they failed the competition for entry on a fair and equal basis
Indeed, they really have a lot to teach the rest of us ..
Can’t be many of the bleeders left, then.
The great Stanley Unwin would have said, “Deep joy!”
Is it cos I is black?
Would you touch a slice after he’d handled it?
‘FUCK YOU GUIDO…I’ll BE BACK…We always come back’
Former Labour minister Denis MacShane resigns as MP after being criticised by expenses watchdog
This an absolute tragedy. A good man brought low by those who are not fit to polish his shoes.
I blame the economy
2h adamboulton adamboulton @adamboultonSKY
Lawyer Mark Stephens on Denis McShane: Huge victory for racists & fascist who’ve abused parliamentary complaints to destroy honourable MP.
Expand
That’s right. This is simply another example of outrageous anti-semitism by a bunch of Nazi SCUM! Denis Mac Shane has been doing excellent work across Europe to fight the growing scourge of anti-semitism and the fascist scum have been out to get him because of this.
It is a victory for white Nazi scum against a great anti-fascist. Shameful.
“a great anti-fascist”
Yeah yeah….now how did he steal the money?
Stick to being a crap “comedian”.
Just remind me how much Bernie Madoff ripped off from everyone on both sides of the Atlantic…
His mistake was not calling himself a Bank.
It,s ok Jack Straw is going to defend him. It was a genuine mistake just like me when i claimed double council tax. We are allin this together said Jack.
Michael Fabricant Michael Fabricant @Mike_Fabricant
Scotland Yard now reporting ‘unofficially’ that they are reinvestigating McShane case now previously ‘privileged’ evidence is now available
The Great British Rake Off. (Brussels edition)
‘Hello plebs, if you only knew……if you only knew’
Claims for red and white icing are within the rules.
Pleb caught fondling anaconda on his laptop in rent free third house is given even more cake by parliamentary standards commission.
Denis says:”I thought I came back as an MEP and I could claim anything I wanted without regard to the rules.”
Dennis “Parachuted” into unsafe Austalian Labour seat
Thats me arrested then, probably before him
ETHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYY!
After all my thparkling performanceth at PMQth this puth the thpotlight back on Labour corruption. Ith not fair.
“Ex MP samples wares at new Strangeways Prison bakery”
I don’t want to be on Newsnight.
Pervert!
Neither do I.
http://labour25.com/2011/06/08/labour-party-parachuting-paedophiles/
“my favourite part about this beautiful cake is the files, i have done a great deal of filing in my time.”
I’ve just been told this is going to be force fed to my arse, so that’ll be nice
“A tin of caviar? For me? How lovely! OK, I know it’s a cake but, er, sort out the receipt, would you, love?”
“haha those files aren’t real, quite fitting really because the last thing i filled wasn’t real either”
looks great but is this on your exs or mine
What more EPI research
This kind of gateaux costs a €1000 a pop on the continent. No need to ask for a receipt.
I hope there are files in this cake
Dennis MacShane modestly accepts his prize after being voted “most honest MP in the House of Commons” for the second year running. by an all-party group
He said, “I don’t look at this as an award just for me but for all hardworking MP’s. I did it for the team.”
“It’ll cost ya…”
DENIS
Do
Expenses
Need
Intricate
Scrutiny
??
‘Independent’ might have been better for I.
‘We had to put Denis because Matyjaszek wouldn’t fit on the cake’
“Twas the night before christmas and all through the House,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a louse,
The laptops were hung in the shed with great care
In the hopes that Saint Ed would soon also be there.”
Denis didn’t want to accept the cake but the BNP made him do it.
Dennis shows his shit pie that he intends to feed to the electorate
Remember to file your tax return by 31st January
MP’s don’t so why should we?
I made it myself – just like the invoices.
“Thanks for the cake lad – you can keep the computer which cost me nowt.”
‘Because I’m worth it’ !
Mr MacShane said he accepted his career as an MP was over and he wanted to take responsibility for his mistakes. A by-election is now expected in his Rotherham constituency, where he has been an MP since 1994.
Conservative MP Philip Davies has written to the Metropolitan Police, who closed an inquiry into Mr MacShane’s expenses in July, asking them to reopen it in light of the report – which he said contained new evidence.
The committee’s report described Mr MacShane’s false claims as “far from what would be acceptable in any walk of life” and “fell far below the standards of integrity and probity expected of every member of the House”. It also criticised the MP for failing to co-operate with the inquiry.
Sponge bob shit pants
Good to see thief catcher Heather Brooke on the news.
If it had not been for Marie Antoinette I’d have thought this was too rich for peasants.
McShane has resigned!
Why did he do that?
Its not like he did anything really serious. Nothing that requires he immediately stand down like upgrading to 1st class or calling someone a pleb, is it?
HMRC: “Your files are the icing on the cake”
Is that a euro-file on your cake, or are you just pleased to see me?
This is the most humble day of my life.
M&S new Christmas ad causes share price to plummet.
“Not just a cake.This is a Hamas cake.”
Since he is loved in the biggest pigsty of all (EU) i thought he’l find solace with his fellow piggy Barrosso
‘Welcome back to our club Missiour Macshane….Love Barrosso!!!
The only way to deal with politicians is to take away all control over their expenses.
1. Any MP who needs a house or flat in London should have one purchased by the state. If it needs doing up the state pays for it. The MP can either buy (at their expense) their own furniture or have it provided by the state (like married quarters in the forces). At the end the house or flat is sold and the profits go to a charity for the forces for example
2. No MP should be able to claim for computers etc, they should be loaned to them by the state and handed back when they leave. If they are damaged or stolen the MP pays
3. Travel should be done by travel warrants (as per the forces) and only to the MPs home town or permanent house. All local travel should be at their expense as it is for other workers.
4. MP’s should pay for their own meals etc and not in subsidised bars.
Can I have it with gravy?
Parasitical hoon!
2nd November 2012.
Metropolitan Police – 98987766541.
Denny MuckShame is m’name.
Fiddling and Sponging is m’game
Ex-Labour MP Denis MacShane produces evidence of broken laptop: “I left this one on the kitchen worktop, while my wife was baking, my fault. It’s ended up as a jam and sponge cake with icing. I can account for all the other laptops too. Just give me a few minutes….”
+1
There’s a cake for Nom De Plume too – and that’s costing the taxpayer even more than this one!
We’ll be checking that cake for files, Mr MacShane, right after the cavity search. Please step this way.
SATURDAY 3/11
GARAGE SALE!!
Moving to smaller accommodation so everything must go.
- 8 Sony Laptops still in original boxes -£200
- 75 boxes of yellow house of commons paper –
Embossed with “Denis McShane MP” no longer required- Good for scrap – £10
- 12 cases of champers – Labeled ‘stationary’ -£100
- Signed photo of Kevin Maguire and Robert Maxwell. says “See you next Tuesday Denis” -£10
- Assorted secret documents and files of low grade Mo-s-sad intelligence -£5
- “European Policy Institute” embossed chairs and tables – set of 10 – £20
Hurry Hurry. Clear out of these and many more stationary and luxury items.
EVERYTHING MUST GO IN THIS GARAGE SALE!!
And that includes the garage,
as I’m going away for a while.
(July 2012)
Jonah Brown: Welcome back into the fold Denis, here’s to a long and fruitful career.
Denis: Thank you Gordon.
(Nov 2012)
Denis: Bloddy Jonah!!
I’m just popping down to Comet.
Want anything?
Mr Quizling makes exceedingly bad fakes
Cake says “get your greedy hands off me you Europhile! – which is only one step above Jimmie Saville”
Breaking News: Greedy bastard gets cake from fawning lacky.
Like most MPs, Denis was more into Fat Rascals.
HMP offers its traditional MPs welcome to the latest returnee
Look what that dipstick Ed sent me!
A thieving bald chipmunk called Denis
Was a villainous trougher; a menace.
He robbed and he lied
And defrauded and tried
To say sorry. What a dishonest penis.
I was expecting a cake that said ‘Goodbye Denis’!
I don’t think you lot should pay much attention to what these committees say.
They are often wrong you know.
OFTEN!
Just remember that in case anything should come up about anyone in the future.
It’s actually called Liar cake: ingredients are piety, greed and rum practices, served with a delusion of grandeur
Cheap Tesco cake £4-30
Two toy files £2.99
Look on the bastards face when he’s sent down – Priceless
Mr Crapling makes exceedingly bad fakes
Layer cake? No, it’s a liar cake – with plenty of jam and a suggestion of porridge
So..that’s Joyce, Vaz {?} McShane, Sir Stuart Bell and Ken Livingstone out.
Soon we’ll have Euan Blair in a safe seat. Soon my pretty…
SIR ?? Stuart Bell…. ffs that is an oxymoron if ever there was……….. about the same level as SIR James Savile.
MP claims this cake is actually his new office and almost gets away with it.
Thankfully done………..
A crooked MP called McShane
Was constantly making false claims.
But his torrent of lies
Should be no great surprise.
All Labour MPs are the same.
Brilliant.
Mad Era Cake
I see two files: one for the prosecution and one for defence counsel.
MacShane proudly displays his sponge gateau, to be eaten in his new Wormwood chateau.
press pack-
MrMiliband..you haven’t called for a judge-led inquiry yet?
Mr Miliband..why no desire for a judge -led inquiry into expenses fraud..mr Miliband?
..isn’t this the rich 1% taking hardworkingfamilies money?..mr Miliband..Isn’t this croney capitalism. Ripping off others? It is isn’t it Mr Miliband?
Nope..He’s gone. That was odd. Not like him to resist a good old judge-led shout.
The file’s inside the cake, Denis…
A perfect example of why Labour should never get back in government holds up a perfect example of what they are offering to the electorate.
The small print on the back of the cake, reads “send bill to the taxpayer”.
The sad thing is that his imbecile constituents will simply elect the next crook with a red rosette that is put in front of them.
Mr JGM2
By linking imbeciles to Eiither Gordon McMental or Labour voters in general you
insult many hardworking imbeciles who have made this country what it is today
A SHIT HOLE!
Brilliant!!!
You r spot on Rotherham is made up of them most of them totally reliant on state handouts
Of course. Labour will win again, probably followed by the other socialist party, the BNP in second.
What a great place Rotherham is.
Yes, Labour will win again, with the other socialists, the B*N*P* in second.
And people wonder why Rotherham is such a hole.
“See! I’ve got 650 really good mates!”
Denis likes a bit of cake with his porridge.
Here’s a chance for Boris to get shoe-in back into Westminster
He may as well. he has burnt his bridges where standing for Mayor again is concerned.
Latest it looks like the use of Parliamentay Privelige argument will scupper Plods attempt to secure a conviction ,confirming what we all knew MPS are above the law
So where is the Newsnight story Guido?
Oh what joy¡ Another Labour parasite bites the dust. Plenty of more where that came from.
He probably cut his own daughters paracord just to clim some time off work and a nice little insurance claim*
* The above is joke in bad taste so please dont arrest me PCPlod just this thief who stole off us all
The cake turned out to be a delicious irony.
Thanks for the cake Boris. I wonder what the bad news is you are trying to distract everyone from this time?
This poor soul is not taking it up the Bush.
http://www.channel4.com/news/us-elections-superstorm-sandy-gallery
Love it.
I note that he is of the “North London” type
hooked nose ,low ears,and hideous to look at
whist masquerading behind a false name (apart from the expenses)
I of course deplore anti s£mi7i$m in all its forms
hahahah
At last somebody has found a use for them (apart from soap and lampshades)
They also taste rubbery
Can I have my olive grove back?
He is a Catholic. You are making anti-s’mitic inferences in this post. That really has no place in the discussion of corrupt MP’s.
Comment removed at your suggestion? My response was to the comment above bastardising the common expression “to have your cake and eat it”
Since McShane – has constantly played the je’w-ish card in attempting to confirm his pureness of character I saw no harm at twisting the expression to use [in my eyes] a recognised neutral word that actually originated from US immigrant j’ewi’sh families laughing at themselves.
Happily I can make fun of myself and my Judaism. I look forward to your further put downs on this blog when the other monotheistic faiths of Christianity and Islam are teased or ridiculed the same way. Anti -sem*tic my arse!
Your political or otherwise beliefs are not important to me ,i am not all that political ,but it is really irritating to read such forceful comments churned out by you ,Beast, in such an illiterate manner,if you are going to contribute to these blogs i would respectfully suggest that you consider evening classes or further education.This is the first time i have been on this blog but i think i shall come on it in the future.
If you mean he’s a twat then just say it FFS!
Patience my little one, calm down,this is not good for your health.Oh i can see i have got my work cut out helping this poor misguided lot,but i will persevere ,its what i am here for.
A very crappy birthday to the lavatory that is now channel 4.
Here is your birthday cake.
http://www.weirdasianews.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/toilet-food01.jpg
It is one of those magical tu®ds that blows up in C4′s face.
‘At least it isn’t a Jim’ll Fix It badge.’
CRUMBS!!! – McSHAME resigns, as The Great British bake off becomes The Great British F**K off.
Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you what you are.
You eat cake!
You’re a shit
Denis MacShane = Dicensian Sham.
Recipe for success.
” I have received so many messages supporting me from Labour and Tory MPs ”
Gorbells Mick. Kinnockio. Lord Taylor. Lord Hanningfield. Jim Devine. Blair. Keith Vaz etcettera, etc etc.
uddin, margaretmoran, jackiewhatsername, philhope, the carrot topped one, prezza
labour has such a wealth of really ‘attractive’ people!!
I’ll be flying out of the country tonight at 22:30 to seek asylum in a country that doesn’t have an extradition treaty with the UK. Bye, kiddos!
Gary tried vietnam – even they were unsympathetic. Not sure where else you could go.
I hear Ecuador is pretty tolerant about sex crimes.
While we are on the subject
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/916179.stm
Bloody spellcheck, it’s meant to say Penis!
“Can I have the receipt?”
i’ll make thousands out of mileage from the chiltern hundreds.
Piece of cake all this expenses fiddling lark, says Denis, newly appointed to oversee the mathematics behind the NHS sell off as he admits it has all been a blast working for the Conservatives,
Cake says:
“Denis, EU’re toast, mate”
‘The Sponger and the Sponge’
You can’t touch me , it’s within the rules.
Can I put this on my expenses?
Shergar found under assmed identity
He made hay whilst he could
One receipt for business cards-that”ll be €1, 000!
Can I claim this on expenses?
McShane’s office manager betrays his sticky fingers.
What office manager? Or for that matter what office?
Fiction has nothing an mcshane!
I Don’t like Cake!
Is there a file inside this?
All for me? But you know I’m not a greedy man!
Fiddling? It’s a piece of cake
Nice one Sharon
“The plebs of Rotheram? Let ‘em eat cake.”
Let them eat cake
The Blondie tribute band received a warm welcome.
You’d have needed a heart of glass not to have enjoyed it.
Did anyone notice Ed Millipede on lead guitar?
He playth very nithely.
Ahh I’ll have this & eat it !!
Nom nom nom nom nom nom de plum
I stole this cake because I am a criminal.
Dennis was pleased to be back in Labour HQ after 5 long years in sing-sing. He was especially impressed with the “back stabbing” motiff on his cake.
You idiot!
You’re supposed to put the file IN the cake, not ice it on top
Prisoner at the bar ” How do you plead Guilty or Not Guilty ?”
Just 90mins till Newsnight reveal who the nonce politician is. Get the popcorn ready.
“Guess how I paid for this!”
Never heard of Dennis MacShame whats it…….what is Europe……
where is it & I’m certain I have not been there myself, ever…….
Remember I was to busy saving the Universe & beyond…….
Nurse is it time for my one up the bu*m ?
‘Its got his prints all over it’
“Whoever wins the bake-off gets to go through to the final round, cooking my books!”
Denis shows off £10,000 worth of computing equipment (well that’s what it said on the receipt).
URGENT release
Due to circumstances beyond our control we cannot bring tonights
edition of “Newsnight” as a replacement we will be re-showing the
indepth look at the Nasty Party & why most people believe
they are still unfit for office…
McShane: “how funny, people are bound to make a joke about you misspelling ‘penis’ now”
Staff “that’s funny – it’s actually a misspelling of ‘fuck off you thieving twat’”
“Doh! You’re supposed to put the files inside the cake!”
If it turns out to be Mandelson, I may pass out from laughing too hard.
“…and I’m only claiming £1000 on expenses for the cake!”
“No, I’m bald-headed you oaf! In this box is Hoplocephalus bitorquatus, the pale-headed snake . . .”
Over here !!!
MacShane should be sacked and then criminally investigated for fraud NOW!!!!
Meanwhile in other news, you’ve all heard about ATOS but did you know their medical staff (joke) in the UK have to sign the Official Secrets Act?
http://blacktrianglecampaign.org/2012/11/02/atos-doctors-and-nurses-raise-concerns-over-signing-of-official-secrets-act/
why’s that then?????? who’s covering up what?
Yummy cake today lumpy porridge tomorrow
“……I remember the days when I could have it and eat it”
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/916179.stm
I’m not the Messiah- I’m a very naughty boy.
MacShame
Savile
MPs Expenses
MPs misuse of public money
Banks
Leveson
Atos
H2S
Great Western Railway
Bercow
The police
just some of the shit that is ruining the country
Labour till I die!
Denis celebrates with his new prison nickname, cupcake.
I’ve heard of Jail Bait. But Jail Cake’s a new one on me.
I’ll just take this to be translated lads, won’t cost you a penny
Pork cake, with dripping.
Oh yea……
What a crook.
Caption –
Thieving lying left wing bastard
Pole-Axed
Cake-Walk
True to form, Denis’ inability to hide his crimes was obvious for all to see: the files really should have been inside the cake…
Denis was surprisingly upbeat about his return to court in 2013
Due to bent in power shitehouses what a mess this country is now in.
The ordinary hard workers cannot comprehend what has befallen them and rightly so.
The country is being run by a variety of barstewards intent on financial gain and other issues if you know what I mean.
The law seems protective of some things we are now finding out about and they should be ashamed of themselves,but I doubt they are.
This country is turning into a cesspit and we urgently need to alter course.
Your hired!
Cake my day copper
Is there a cell phone in this?
The smile is the smile of a person who knows they are untouchable.
New edible laptop unveiled. ‘It only took 14 prototypes but this is it’ reveals the inventive baker. .
They’ve bottled it. They only say it was a senior Tory minister.
“It’s a good thing this cake matches my watch or I’d have to claim another on expenses!
…or maybe just another cake.”
Stick it in the freezer for the next time!
A revelation?
At no time have I ever entered a childrens home
Hotels are so much more welcoming
It was obvious from the start of the programme that names were not going to be named.
From ker-ching to ker-clink.
I’m a bit surprised no one commented that this is obviously a fake plastic cake.
If it was real, it would be sliding off the plate, and his fingers would be sinking into the frosting.
I noticed it, and I’m an idiot Yank.
Confectionary of Lies.
Pretty poor – there, I said it myself.
“Thanks, do you have the receipt…”
The winner of 2012 ‘The great rake off’
It’s not my fault I’ve got sticky fingers.
Denis, having his cake and eating it. Mwah, ha, ha.
Where’s the gateau fjail card this time?
Dennis swaps confection for conviction.
(thinks)
I can’t be arsed to saw my way through the bars, maybe I can get an intern to do it. But what the hey, I can still claim these files on expenses
Can I have a receipt for it, I need it for my files
McShame CV for EU job application:
“With wide experience in expense accountancy – willing to use vast knowledge for expansion of the “European Gravy Train.”
‘ Oh it’s not a sponge? Er! ‘
‘When you’ve come to make a fortune and you haven’t made your salt,
And the reason of your failure isn’t anybody’s fault -
When you haven’t got a billet, and the times are very slack,
There is nothing that can spur you like the shame of going back;
Crawling home with empty pockets,
Going back hard-up;
Oh! it’s then you learn the meaning of humiliation’s cup.’
The MacShame of Going Back by Henry Lawson
Ooooh! What a lovely shade of red icing. It matches my watch, the lipstick I’ll soon be wearing, and the blood I’ll no doubt be hemorrhaging in the showers . . .
Denis has cake and sweats it.
Premature Cake-elation
This is a man with no shame,its the BNP fault ,his chaotic domestic arrangements,IPSAand anyone else he can blame.he is a thief and a liar who thought he was beyond the normal rules that apply to most of us.If in the likely event that he is not prosecuted then what is the point of voting in any election.THE FAKE WITH A CAKE
“Thanks for the gift…..
…will only cost the taxpayer £3k on my expenses…
…and then the damn intern stole it…
…honest.”
You’d have thought they could have given me a laptop- tight bastards
In other news: in a joint statement, Hamas and the PA have condemned the the Curiosity Rover for the shameless trespassing of an imperialist vehicle over ancient olive groves.
Candygram for Mongo
Neither your rabbit teeth nor icing-sugar files will get you out of the cell my old cock sparrow!
“I’ll keep these files for when the Standards and Privileges Committee publish theirs!”
“I save these files for when the Standards and Privileges Committee publish theirs!”
And I claimed £1,000 for this cake.
Poor bugger. Lost in politics he is.
And yes, it does happen. Can’t you tell by his glasses? Pants set of frames they are.
Denis Denis, oh with your fraud so true
Denis Denis, I’ve got handcuffs on you
Denis Denis, I’m so in hate with you woah-ohhhh
Mc Shame….I prefer another kinda dough
Saville was a fool. He should have been an MP then noone could have asked nasty questions. Now look at the rouble he’s got himself in
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