November 2nd, 2012

Friday Caption Contest (Sponger-Cake Edition)

To celebrate Denis MacShane’s demise this week’s caption contest sees the shamed expenses cheat pose with the cake given to him upon his return to the Labour Party just this July.

The winner will receive a bottle of Châteauneuf-du-Pape courtesy of the charitable souls at Oddbins.

Their ‘Wine Not War’ campaign calling for peace between Dave and Nick will donate £1 to War Child for every bottle of CNDP sold.

See what they did there.

The winning entry better be good.

Usual rules apply…


  1. 1
    Kebab Time says:

    “Denis is welcomed into prison”

  2. 2
    What a loathsome man he is says:

    Fuck off, Denis.

    Not a caption, just what I think.

  3. 3
    Sandra in Accounts says:

    I even pre-claimed for the file in the cake…..

    • 193
      ibrahim says:

      I’m getting confused, I’ve not had time to catch up with much news lately. Is this HoC expenses corruption or paedophila? By the look of whoever is in the photo, I would not let my daughter within 10 miles of the c’nt

      • 626
        M says:

        Its said prisons are colleges for criminals , I guess Westminster’s the uni where you get you Master , PHD , and a research grant if you come up with a scam to screw the taxpayer

    • 267
      XXXX says:

      Look at my prize for having a shinier forehead than DC

  4. 4
    Derron Brown. Who was shat out by his by his mother says:

    I like blowing things up. Good fun !

  5. 5
    What a loathsome man he is says:

    “Denis Macshane presents himself with a cake at a party attended by Denis Macshane”

    • 36
      Steve Miliband says:

      paid for on expenses

    • 143
      Bri says:

      For some reason The Rotherham Advertiser seem to love him even though there are letters complaining about him most weeks. There again that’s Rotherham for you!

      What about all the money he fiddled for his constituency expenses, have they been forgotten?

      If he gets thrown out of the HoC he can take up a new career converting garages into offices

    • 438
      Sir WW says:

      Next moment, out of the cake popped John Bercow!

  6. 6
    Fatso watson watch says:

    BBC staff present Denis with a cake after leaving the HoC

  7. 7
    Kebab Time says:

    “Denis is given the dreaded vote of confidence by Ed and Labour”

  8. 8
    W.W. says:

    MacShane fails in shameless attempt to smuggle file into Belshmarsh.


  9. 9
    DisgustedOfMitcham2 says:

    Save it until you’re on the inside, Denis, there’s a file inside

  10. 10
    Natalie says:

    And you thought you could have your cake and eat it.

  11. 11
    Derron Brown. Who was shat out by his mother says:

    I am a sponge and parasite. You can keep the wine cus I like blowing things up!

  12. 12
    Dazza says:

    ‘Fucking Thief…’ Will that do?

  13. 13
    WastedJoker says:

    Not the only “icing on the cake” you’ve been having, Denis.

  14. 14
    GloryTory says:

    … to the dole?

  15. 15
    Stepney says:

    Disgraced MP opens gift from the Crown Prosecution Service.

  16. 16
    dunstall says:

    Im having my cake and eating it

  17. 17
    Scott Gordon says:

    Can’t have your cake. and eat it

  18. 18
    poets day says:

    … and here’s one I made earlier…

  19. 19
    Kent Imwell says:

    No files on me!

  20. 22
    Brown out and pay me damages says:

    The next one will be in the shape of a copper, a lawyer and a prison cell.

  21. 23
    Martin Day says:

    See what happened when I shook hands with the House Of Commons fee clerk ?

    I only got 2 fingers left on my right hand !

  22. 24
    I Squiggle says:

    A prediction: This is the photograph that an increasingly demented Denis MacShane will have pinned to his prison cell wall..

  23. 25
    Plato says:

    The cake and his watch are colour co-ordinated??

  24. 26
    PooleBabe says:

    “Have you still got the receipt?”

  25. 27
    nellnewman says:

    See I’ve got away with it!!

  26. 28
    Steve Miliband says:

    You’re supposed to put the files in the cake, dimwits

  27. 29
    Ghost of Greg Stone. says:

    Denis wonders at the stupidity of the baker who put the metal files on top of the cake instead of inside.

  28. 30
    Mike Brighton says:

    “Giving me a cake isn’t going to stop me seeing you in cell A21 gorgeous boy”

  29. 31
    nellnewman says:

    My beloved OneNation Labour party are happy to accept me for the crook that I am!

  30. 32
    tangentreality says:

    The cake from the two Eds was originally going to run with the soap-on-a-rope motif, but they thought that the two dodgy-looking scrapers was probably a better bet.

  31. 33
    Astroreaper says:

    Van Rumpoy presents fellow thief with cake on hearing of his new job in the Commission.

  32. 34

    Denis reckons he can probably claim possible marzipan and ice piping expenses….

  33. 35
    I Squiggle says:

    The Standards and Privileges Committee hold their Christmas Party..

  34. 37
    David says:

    “what can I have next time?”

  35. 38
    Dorian Smith says:

    Denis to find out his cake is not the only sponge in prison.

  36. 39
    @FoxOnRocks says:

    Could someone get me another one with a file in please because I really should be eating it on C-Wing.. Oh don’t forget the receipt!

  37. 40
    Timmy Tour says:

    To all those who support the Labourt party…..MacShane on you!

  38. 41
    MacSteep says:

    Can I have the receipt for this cake?

  39. 42
    Freddy Krueger says:

    LOL, cake shaped like a Jim’ll Fix It badge.

  40. 43
    A hard Pressed Tax Payer says:

    With my expenses record everything is co-ordinated

    as your paying !!

  41. 44
    Jimmy says:

    The files are supposed to go inside the cake.

  42. 45
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Is he holding a garage sale this weekend to boost his funds?

  43. 46
    Charlie the Chump says:

    No funnies just can’t tell you all how very glad this makes me feel, and Knacker of The Yard to come too.


    • 554
      Loathesome Liebore says:

      Splendid! Huhne the Hoon to go down in January, closely followed by MacShame.

      Get the beers in.

  44. 47
    Calorific says:

    I really should be on bread & water, but what the hell I will trough the lot as I don’t want to ‘shed’ the ‘pounds’

  45. 48
    Observer says:

    Masturbating Chipmunk wins MP-Lookalike Competition

  46. 49
    Mcshame on me says:

    “that’s all folks”

  47. 50
    Q says:

    Hunt holds cake

  48. 51
    Anonymous says:

    After failing to get prisoners the vote, denis macshane finds himself a cunning plan to get himself out of his future predicament…

  49. 52
    Bob Fleming says:

    Theiving knob poses with cake

  50. 53
    Tom Tomos says:

    File under ‘C’ for convict.

  51. 54
    Timmy Tour says:

    “I don’t care what colour his socks are, or what colour sheets he sleeps between. Christopher Meyer … has broken some of the absolutely first rules of confidence a senior public servant has.”…on the other hand I am an elected MP so I only do what’s expected of an MP

  52. 56
    Brown out and pay me damages. If you can't do the time don't do the crime. says:

    Time for the sponger and the parasite to be be locked up!

  53. 57
    Selohesra says:

    A little edit and it reads “welcome black penis” – which may well be a prophecy for his future behind bars

  54. 58
    poets day says:

    I think there’s dough in it…

  55. 59
    Mrs Entity says:

    McShane gets his cake & eats it & everyone else’s

  56. 60
    Tom says:

    Okay, who has nicked my expense chitty for the oddbins donated bottle of wine !!!

  57. 62
    Prison Break? says:

    Anyone else notice there are two files on the cake.

  58. 63
    Chazman says:

    Let them eat cake

  59. 64
    I Squiggle says:

    In an ironic twist, what Denis didn’t know was he’d be serving his time in a re-built Spandau Prison. On his own. .

  60. 65
    Annonnymouse! says:

    After putting down the cake Denis noticed that he had sticky fingers!

  61. 66
    Groaning Rad says:

    We will not be allowing any comments on our MacShane article because we feel they may be somewhat negative.

  62. 67
    Flocking useless.... says:

    Looks like Denis does not know the meaning of irony :)

  63. 68
    Anonymous says:

    “this is a lovely cake mrs doyle, thank you so much, i assure you the money was just resting in my bank account”

  64. 71
    James F*ckup says:

    Anyone for Denis?
    The computers say No.

  65. 73
    Brown out and pay me damages or I am have done nothing wrong. says:

    The police should be called!

  66. 74
    poets day says:

    there’s jam in it…. for me!!

  67. 75
    Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

    I hope they got a receipt for this because I don’t want to forge any more for my expenses.

  68. 76
    Bollocks Broadcasting Corporation says:

    Don’t worry comrades. We’ve got an exclusive on Newsnight tonight which will smother the MacShane story.

  69. 77
    The Fallen Angel says:

    Could he be saying:

    “Do you like it? I bought all the ingredients whilst on my European fact finding missions….I then paid my wife to bake it and invoice me for her time and other associated costs.

    See- your money IS being spent wisely!!!”

  70. 78
    Dollymylove says:

    Second tears to follow…?

  71. 79
    A persecuted taxpayer says:

    Now how do you do that old trick – have your cake and eat it?

  72. 80
    Pig in Shit says:

    Red-faced slaphead can no longer have his cake and eat it

  73. 81
    Geordieboy says:

    The Guardianistas had a whip round for a cardboard replica.

  74. 82
    Rupert my Hero says:

    Unsuccessfully Denis tries to camouflage the Files, again.

  75. 83
    Silent Bob says:


    • 86
      Anonymous says:

      WTF Silent Bob. Shut the fuck up for God’s sake.

      • 100
        the savant says:

        Hello Silent are you still with us …

        Very nice to see you back but NO NEED TO SHOUT SO LOUD dearie ……

        We’ve developed featherlite accoustic speakers since your day . They pick up a pin dropping at five miles — so watch what you say !!

    • 342
      Rat's arse says:

      Hi S.B. I notice you are your usual chatty self.

    • 434
      Expat Geordie says:

      Go on Guido, give it to Bob. After all, some things are funny enough without comment.

  76. 84
    Line the wankers up....three.. two.. one says:

    Thanks for the cake Chris, now stop poncing around and send me your underpants so I can add it to these two pencils and prepare my ‘wibble wibble’ defence.

  77. 85
    George Lees says:

    MP looking forward to more free accommodation curtesy of the taxpayer

  78. 87
    Disco Biscuit says:

    Pack a toothbrush

  79. 88
    Pokeyspoon says:

    Own up! Who’s eaten the bottom of the ‘P’???

  80. 89
    the savant says:

    My name’s DENIS McShane not IAN McShane !!

    I’ve never handled dodgy antiques in my life

  81. 90
    cmdocker says:

    what european arrest warrant is that?

  82. 91
    Telegraph Paywall? says:

    WTF, the Telegraph is telling me I’ve accessed my 20 free articles for this month and I’ll have to pay £1.99 to see any more.


  83. 92
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    “Of course I’ll beat the rap– it’ll be a cakewalk!”

  84. 94
    Old Curmudgeon says:

    “From the boys on ‘E’ Wing”

  85. 95
    J . Lewis-List says:

    McShane by name, McShame by nature.

  86. 96
    Cato says:

    “You just wait until you see the size of my expense claim for this.”

  87. 97
    Philip McArthur says:

    I thought you said I could have my cake and eat it.

  88. 97
    W.W. says:

    Denis MacShane shows off his new £100k a year office.


  89. 101
    What a loathsome man he is says:

    “Denis makes himself a cake so he has something to look forward to upon his release from prison”.

  90. 102
    Peter Grant says:

    DM: “Compliments to the Chef who seems to have done a far better job of baking this cake than I have of cooking the books!”

  91. 103
    towerofbabble says:

    It’s not for me; it’s for the “General Manager”!

  92. 105
    Universal Hiss says:

    Denis fooled by Guido’s concealed camera cake.

    See What The Hack Saw blog.

  93. 106
    Freddie Krueger, I mean Starr says:

    Freddie Starr, who was arrested on Thursday by police investigating the Jimmy Savile abuse scandal, has returned for further questioning. Mr Starr, from Warwickshire, was arrested on Thursday evening and bailed in the early hours of Friday morning. He is being interviewed by officers from Operation Yewtree on suspicion of sexual offences. His arrest falls under the strand of the investigation classed as “Savile and others”.

    In a statement the Met Police said Mr Starr had returned on bail and was being questioned.

    • 306
      Anonymous says:

      The reason he returned was because they saw no point in keeping him in a cell overnight.

  94. 107
    AnalStatistician says:

    “Plus, as an added bonus, I will only charge the taxpayer for the icing on the cake!”

  95. 109
    London Cabbie says:

    Did you remember the file?

  96. 111
    blub says:

    Come quietly Spiny Norman, that bugs bunny disguise can’t fool Napper of the Yard!

  97. 112
    Steve Miliband says:

    Celebrations are a trifle early

  98. 113
    Andy Gray says:

    Might want to add a few more bars to that cake, Denis

  99. 114
    David Duff says:

    ‘Big Bubba’ in D-wing says to make sure and bring the cake with you and he’ll promise to use vaseline.

  100. 115
    gmlindsay says:

    How much can I claim for this cake?

  101. 116
    delia smitts says:

    Angel cake in July.
    Fruitcake today.
    Baumkuchen and Spotted Dick any time soon.

  102. 117
    Steve Miliband says:

    New entrant for ”The Great British Rake Off”

  103. 118
    cmdocker says:

    “Is rotherham’s twin town Saint-Quentin or San-Quentin”

  104. 119

    Balls just manages to stop ‘idiot Ed’ giving Denis their ‘other cake.’

    “Sorry you’re nicked!”

  105. 120
    lastofthesummervintage says:

    Let them eat cake, i’m alright jack

  106. 122
    blub says:

    “I put this cake down as ten grand’s worth of office supplies.”

  107. 124
    VanBarrington says:

    Same time next year?

  108. 125
    nellnewman says:

    Very disappointed with DanHodges over on the dailytelegraph where has is arguing that mcshane only acquired this extra money from us because we didn’t pay him enough in the first place.

    Mr Hodges says unless we raise MP’s salaries we are going to have more and more mp’s forging expenses claims just like mcshane.

    • 492
      Biased Broadcasting Corporation says:

      That is disappointing Nell. So if you think you aren’t being paid enough, it’s OK to raid your employers’ bank account when they aren’t looking?

  109. 126
    Hayek was right says:

    McShame is warmly welcomed in Brussels by other EU troughers

  110. 127
    W.W. says:

    Dennis is given a warm welcome back, as he rejoins Smug Bastards Anonymous.


  111. 128
    Universal Hiss says:

    CPS finds the Denis files at last.

  112. 129
    Peter from Preston says:

    And with my right hand………I’m showing two fingers.

  113. 130

    “Tax Payers’ Money…? Gateauver it!” he laughed.

  114. 131
    Attila the Huhne says:

    “Sponge? I certainly did.”

  115. 132
    Breaking News says:

    He just posted this on his website a minute ago. Quite sickeningly, he doesn’t take ANY responsibility and says he’s innocent. What a fucking scumbag.

    This is all I am saying and I will not be adding anything or doing interviews

    “I am shocked and saddened that the B** has won its 3 year campaign to destroy my political career as a Labour MP despite a full police investigation which decided not to proceed after investigations and interviews. I am glad the Committee notes that there is no question of personal gain. Clearly I deeply regret that the way I chose to be reimbursed for costs related to my work in Europe and in combating anti-s*mitism, including being the Prime Minister’s personal envoy, has been judged so harshly. I remain committed to work for progressive values, for Britain playing a full part in Europe, and for combating anti-s*mitism even though I can no longer undertake this work as a Labour MP. I am consulting family and friends as I consider my position and study the full implications of the report. I am obviously desperately sorry for any embarrassment I have caused my beloved Labour Party and its leader Ed Miliband whom I greatly admire.”

    • 137
      Breaking News says:

      He’s actually trying to paint his crimes as being his fight against anti-s*mitism. There are no depths this man won’t stoop to.

    • 138
      Breaking News says:
    • 148
      Q says:


      So Nick Griffiin personally typed all the bogus invoices up and bough the fucking hundreds of PC’s, and did business (ha ha) with a company he controlled and made a fucking shed appear as if it was a fucking huge expensive office.

      Try looking a little bit closer to home McShame for someone to blame.

    • 154
      McShame says:

      If any of you plebs have a problem with what I have written then kindly get in touch and give me piece of your mind …

      Denis MacShane MP
      House of Commons
      London SW1A 0AA

      Westminster: 020 7219 4060

      Local Constituency Office: 01709 837577

    • 158
      Denis MacShameless says:

      Is that why I’m called ‘MacShameless ‘ ??

    • 175
      dunstall says:

      I doubt whether many labour mps will want to be seen as his friend

    • 212
      I don't need no doctor says:

      So is MacShane saying that the B*P made him thieve from the taxpayer. How does that work MacShane you scumbag pile of shit.

    • 443
      Expat Geordie says:

      Isn’t the B*P just Old Labour? And Rotherham is just an Old Labour town. So perhaps the locals just want the real Labour Party back.

      Bye Denis. But it’s Barnesy that I feel sorry for. Poor woman, what did she see in him?

    • 496
      Biased Broadcasting Corporation says:

      He’s desperately sorry now. Apparently.

  116. 133
    Biff says:

    Red carpet gets rolled out at Wormwood Scrubbs

  117. 135
    oh den you are a one... says:

    I’ve had the same message embroidered on my underpants…bet they’ll love them in bellmarsh

  118. 139

    When he cut the cake Denis found the file in it.
    The file was on a memory stick and said “One file as requested! Good Ed”

  119. 140
    Sniper says:

    Fraud Squad Freed to Feature Fiddle Fail Fraudster Files

  120. 141
    What a loathsome man he is says:

    Macshame’s Westminster office: 020 7219 4060

    Local Constituency Office: 01709 837577

  121. 142
    Moby dick says:

    What’s polish for Papillon?

  122. 144
    gramma says:

    Toad in a hole gets unwarranted recognition for services to slime

  123. 145
    Centre Parting says:

    Greasy Pole slips down greasy pole…

  124. 146
    J. says:

    Ah, thanks for the files … I’ll be needing these to get out of prison!

  125. 147
    Ady B says:

    I cooked this up myself, just like the expenses…

  126. 149
    Dollymylove says:

    “Note – two strikes and you’re out”…

    “Meanwhile, look pleased with the Asda basic for the plebs”.

  127. 152
    Maximus says:

    “Owzabout that then boys and girls! Now. Who’d like to join Uncle Dennis in his garage for a piece of cake?”

  128. 153

    How to make the perfect
    Victoria Derbyshire Sponger cake

    200g caster sugar {claim for 6 bags}
    200g softened butter {claim for 8 tubs}
    4 eggs {claim for 40 doz}
    1 tsp baking powder {claim for 1 ton}
    2 tbsp milk {claim for 16 pints}
    340g jar good-quality strawberry jam {claim for 2 pallets}

    copy out 19 times and post to fees office.

    Wait 7 days then buy Krispy Kreams for whole family and pocket remaining cash

    Dehlinis McSmith says..

    “You can’t go wrong with this perfect party political cake – full of spongey goodness. As an alternative to jam, why not stuff with laptops?”

  129. 155
    Denis MacShameless says:

    OK, so I’ve picked up the sponge. What happens now, Big Bubba ??

  130. 159
    Selohesra says:

    There was an old crook called McShane
    Who fiddled expenses for personal gain
    Oh for a bug in his cell
    So we could broadcast his yell
    And laugh at his extreme rectal pain

    • 288
      Major Bonkers says:

      There once was a thief called McShane
      Who claimed for laptops again and again
      and again and again and again
      and again and again and again
      Writing up his expenses was a bloody pain.

  131. 160
    TheE17Tory says:

    Five finger Discount Dennis

  132. 161
    Bob D says:

    That takes the cake!

  133. 162
    Pundit says:

    Denis: This is my slice.

  134. 164
    BenTerrion says:

    Sponger steals cake from Thatcher seance party.

  135. 166

    Sometimes it writes itself. Thank you wiki.

    “MacShane had written an article for The Guardian in which he played down the expenses scandal.

    “There will come a moment when moats and manure, bath plugs and tampons will be seen as a wonderful moment of British fiddling, but more on a Dad’s Army scale than the real corruption of politics.”

    In 2008, MacShane supported Michael Martin as Speaker, calling for Conservative Douglas Carswell to be disciplined for calling for Martin to resign for failing to reform expenses.

    MacShane owns houses in Clapham and Rotherham.

    In his spare time, he enjoys skiing and running

    • 294
      Major Bonkers says:

      Not much opportunity for running and skiing in Pentonville.

      Plenty of time to take up an new hobby – like buggery.

  136. 167
    misscsense says:

    “Once you have cooked your books for just long enough to cover up dodgy business set-ups, cover in white icing you can buy ready-made quite cheaply from any supermarket, or £12,900 from EPI”

  137. 169
    I am not answerable to Edinburgh arsewipes says:

    Time for the parasites to fuck off and do one!

  138. 170
    Stroppycow says:

    He’s gattaux go ……straight to jail!!!

  139. 170
    U turn if you want to says:

    Denis guilty of a major U-turn!

  140. 172
    Zeno says:

    The EU commemorates McShane’s contribution to European accounting with a cake, courtesy of the EPI.

  141. 173
    Another Engineer says:

    No Denis, that is not what you use to file accounts.

  142. 174
    David Minibanana says:
    • 206
      I don't need no doctor says:

      What is Bercow doing about MacShane, one of his beloved labour thieves. If it was a tory, Millionaireband would be all over the TV screens.

  143. 176
    Fitbad the Tailor says:

    “I made it myself, only don’t tell anyone”.

  144. 177

    Camera – Hungary?
    Dennis – no..Polish.

  145. 179
    Anonymous says:

    Michael Fish wonders why he has been given a cake with derek on it !!!

  146. 182
    I am not answerable to Edinburgh arsewipes. Time for the parasites to fuck off and do one. says:

    Useless Hunt!

  147. 183
    Pixear says:

    NuLiebor fraudster hiding behind Bugs Bunny impression.

  148. 184
    V1le Labour ruined my Country says:

    Dennis gets some practice in with a typical EU breakfast.

  149. 187
    inthemix96 says:

    macshane, you low down dirty bastard. And then pulling the anti-semite card (getting increasingly tiresome you Hunt).

    Lets hope you go down with you’re cake you buck-toothed Hunt.

    And lets be hoping you meet someone inside who will cock you more times than Elmer Fudds rifle, you despicable excuse of a waste of space Hunt. The best part of macshame ran down his mothers leg.

  150. 188
    Sunfish says:

    Go back to your constituency and prepare for prison

  151. 189

    It’s the taxpayer sponge!

  152. 190 it cake or biscuits that I can claim the VAT back on?

  153. 191
    Col Nut says:

    A pie would have suited him better; something to put his fingers in.

  154. 192
    Steve Miliband says:

    Dyslexic club welcomes back a member

  155. 194
    I don't need no doctor says:

    The BBC News channel seems overly sympathetic towards Denis MacShane. WHY?

    • 223
      Aunty Matter says:

      Need you ask?

      Pro Europe
      Pro BBC
      Champagne Socialist
      Always available for a lefty sound bite to smear Tories

      Keith Vaz is another one as it Lard Prescott, 5 bellies Smiff, Vaz and Twatson.

      • 249
        Anon & Anon says:

        but don’t forget The (Dis)Chairman of BBC, Fang Pang stating

        the trust “we all have” in the B B C aka The decades old

        Kid*die Fid*dlers Organisation……

        Nothing will change at this cess*pit & the two inquiries will

        result in bucket loads of WH*ITE WA*SH being spread everywhere

        to cover it all up……..

        No doubt with a few peerages thrown to help some escape…..

  156. 195
    Newsnight says:

    Sponge Bob twat pants

  157. 196

    ..In this weeks class i’ll show you how to make an escape if being chased by an enraged lord Prescott.

    • 582
      Tay King-dePisse says:

      Well, we know John Prescott wasn’t at that party. If he had been, the cake wouldn’t have survived in its original condition, if indeed at all, before presentation. If there’s one thing surer than Shameless MacShane lining his pocket it’s Prezza stuffing his gullet.

      • 637
        Marion the cat says:

        In terms of extremes he’s obviously never met Tony Adams of Kidderminster -what a fat bastard and trougher.

  158. 198
    Nonny Mouse says:

    “It’s not a cake, it’s my new constituency office!”

  159. 199
    Aunty Matter says:

    “Let them eat cake!”

  160. 200
    I don't need no doctor says:

    To quote Oscar Wilde. To lose the labour whip once proves you are a thieving scumbag, to lose the labour whip twice proves you are a shitty, hypocritical, thieving, lying, typical of labour scumbag.

  161. 201
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Denis MacShane shows off the cushion he will need to sit on after a couple of days in prison.

  162. 202
    I am not answerable to Edinburgh arsewipes. Time for the parasites to fuck off and do one. Time for the useless parasites to mind their own business. I am playing along with their shite says:

    I hope he chokes on it!

  163. 204
    tpfkar says:

    I usually get a big slice of the cake but now I’ve got the whole lot!

  164. 207
    They are all meddling useless spongers in Edinburgh. I am not answerable to these arseholes says:


  165. 208
    Pixear says:

    Rodent wants to have his cake and eat it.

  166. 210
    Sparkler says:

    Denis fixed it for Denis.

  167. 213
    Nonny Mouse says:

    Tarte Ta-Ta!

  168. 214
    The voice of unreason says:

    Denis proudly displays the cake he received from Gordon Brown upon his return to the House of Commons …

  169. 215
    Denis AtItAgain says:

    “The bakery recipt definitely says ‘Research and Translation Services – £13 000′, right?”

  170. 216
    Loco! says:

    Caption “The two Ed’s get away with it but all I get is this shitty cake”

  171. 218
    Aunty Matter says:

    So Newsnight Are going to expose a Tory politician are a kiddie fiddler are they? How decent of them. Of course if they do, that will only beg the question why did they fail to expose Jimmy Savile?

    Could this be once again the BBC working hand in hand with fatty Watson to divert attention away from the BBC’s perversion for children?

    • 317
      Bollocks Broadcasting Corporation says:

      In a word : yes.

    • 324
      aka Bunter says:

      The Bunter impressions at kids’ parties aren’t doing so well at the moment so I need some other employment to supplement my pathetic MP’s salary.

  172. 220
    Sparkler says:

    Bombe Surprise.

  173. 221
    Sparkler says:

    What was that prize again? a bottle of Châteauneuf-du-TAT.

  174. 227
    Margo Leadbetter says:

    Freshly baked with only the finest ingredients by Fortnum and Mason.
    No expenses spared!

  175. 229
    British Slammer Time says:

    Don’t worry Denis.. That odd bloke with white hair and a cigar will be along soon with the keys to let you out.

  176. 230
    Cressida's Dick says:

    Sod the caption competition. McShane, you are f**ked. Goodnight.

  177. 231
    A hard Pressed Tax Payer says:

    Dennis is welcomed back again, to Labour’s Hall of Infamy !!

  178. 232
    A fine pair of lungs says:

    I have a fine pair of lungs. I intend to exercise them this weekend!

  179. 233
    Sarge says:

    Just noticed a Google ad – ‘low prices on Dennis McShane at Amazon’

    Could be a bargain…how much change is hidden down the back of his sofa
    aka constituency office?

  180. 234
    Mr McShame says:

    I thought sponging off the taxpayer would be a cakewalk. Actually it just led to a penal complex.

  181. 235
    Chris says:

    ‘Is there a file in this?’

  182. 236
    Spencer Grady says:

    Giant pistachio seeks refuge behind shiny criminal.

  183. 237
    grotblik says:

    get the knives out – we all want a slice.

  184. 238
    Sparkler says:

    All Biros disappear through a wormhole in space theory is disproved by cake maker.

  185. 239
    R Vay Maria says:

    Denis to HOC IT support “This is the ninth time this has happened, the screen is frozen and I can’t find the keyboard!”

  186. 240
    Bean counter says:

    Trougher scoffer reaches highest gateau plateau.

  187. 241
    R Vay Maria says:

    Well I’ve taken the biscuit, I might as well take the cake too!

  188. 242
    Mike says:

    “Can I have the receipt for this please” ?

  189. 243

    Right then, who’s going to get the knives out?

  190. 244
    Peter Grant says:

    DM: “Not the first time I’ve had my hands on a large sweetener!”

  191. 245
    pissed off voter says:

    Thief in trumphant return to his (mille)band.

  192. 246
    delcatto says:

    The Great British… Fake off!

  193. 247
    Leftie Tosser says:

    “From the lads at the Interview Room down the Station”

  194. 251
    Anonymous says:

    MP delighted with his new Laptop, vows will be more careful in future when crossing moat .

  195. 252
    Kevin T says:

    “Thank you Denis but when I said you were my bitch now, I didn’t mean it in a metaphorical ‘you have to buy me cakes’ sort of a way.”

  196. 253
    Must get a pseudonym one day says:

    If it looks like a crook, walks like a crook and quacks like a crook – it’s MacShane.
    And now it’s official – great result.

  197. 254
    pissed off voter says:

    Sponger honoured by labour party

  198. 256
    anon says:

    ‘This is a funny looking gravy train’

  199. 258
    Will says:

    “(D)odgy (E)xpenses (N)ever (I)’m (S)ure”

  200. 259
    Toilets Mugliar says:
  201. 260
    Gonk II says:

    Strange looking Polish/Red Indian tries to avoid buggery by offering gift.

  202. 261
    anonemo says:

    Always put on extra icing, it makes it look expensive.

  203. 262
    anonemo says:

    Come for the cake, stay for the expenses shredding.

  204. 265
    Backs2thewall says:

    Member of Parliament Denis MacShane returns to the Bowel Cancer Awareness Campaign sporting not just one ‘occult blood negative’ sample sticks but two. Well done Denis.

  205. 268
    New NuLiebor The Perfect Vehicle To Perpetrate Fraud says:

    Champagne socialist, fresh back from sunnier climes pretends for the plebs that he would actually eat that crap rather than the de rigueur Beluga caviar

  206. 269
    dan brennan says:

    “And the icing on the cake is that you even remembered to include the receipt…”

  207. 270
    Anonymous says:

    175g/6oz self-raising flour – £10,000.00
    1 rounded tsp baking powder – £5,000.00
    3 large eggs at room temperature – £15,000.00 (£5,000.00 central heating)
    175g/6oz very soft butter – £10,000.00 (£1,000.00 CAP rebate)
    175g/6oz golden caster sugar – £12,000.00
    ½ tsp vanilla extract – £8,000.00
    a little sifted icing sugar, for dusting – £4,000.00

    Delia Smith consultancy fees – £6,000.00

    Claim submitted to Parliament – £70,000.00

  208. 271
    this septic pile says:

    i’m just enjoying the no. of entries –

    and its ale night for those qualified to sleep peacefully – yippee (well – pee anyway)

  209. 272
    Mary Hinge says:

    Stollen money.

  210. 274
    Adam Werritty says:

    The people I feel sorry for are the good folk of Rotherham who have been let down .

    Several hours have passed now and not a word of condemnation has been heard from our Leader . Not a word of concern from him for good honest Yorkshire people who through the greed and avarice of a Socialist find themselves tonight disenfranchised but still obliged to pay taxes .

    It would only be right that the Leader ensures that at the forthcoming By Election the interests of the people of Rotherham will be to the fore and they will have the very finest Conservative candidate in the land and not an ex SPAD , Research Assistant or a “babe” .

    It is the least the people of Rotherham deserve .

    • 296
      Another Engineer says:

      Have you ever been to Rotherham?

      • 551
        Normal guy says:

        I have ,i worked round south yorkshire over a twenty year period and there are alot of good people there irrespective of politics.

        • 555
          Another Engineer says:

          True enough, there are. I’m not in Rotherham but I’m not far away.

          The problem is that the good people are outnumbered.

  211. 277
    Loopy Lou says:

    What I do not understand is why Mr McShane has changed his name .

  212. 278
    NuLiebor New Dumbing Down says:

    I haven’t seen a cake this bad since I gained a third class degree.

  213. 280
    nicodemus says:

    “Oh, fiddle-sticks!”

  214. 281
    Bless the BBC says:

    So we’ve got a theiving toe-rag caught bang to rights and the BBC choose to keep showing that skydiver. Any Tory or Libdem would be torn to shreds by now.

  215. 282
    Sparkler says:

    Latest generation G4 iPod is unveiled by Denis Jobsworth.

  216. 285
    kitchen aids says:

    A smiling Denis taking the cake, now cooking the books will soon realise why Fanny Craddock always had a Johnnie at hand.

  217. 286
    sendhimdown says:

    “If I end up a guest of her majesty the key goes in here”

  218. 287
    Roger The lodger says:

    Shadow cabinet employs “expenses only” filing clerk

  219. 295
    Andrew Efiong says:

    Faced with shame, fraud and failure, Dennis MacShane looks on the bright side. “With my track record I’ve now got the ideal CV to become a European Commissioner” said the disgraced MP.

  220. 297
    Paul Rothwell says:

    ‘Look at my lovely cake.

    I wish I still had a party’.

  221. 298
    a non says:

    Cute cupcake will have to settle for Brownies tomorrow.

  222. 300
    Anonymous says:

    Whip removed from Labour MP after party chiefs observe him slicing cake, a source close to the Leader of the opposition commented

    “We were all shocked to see Denis with the cake. His cuts were too fast and too deep”

    Another Labour source revealed

    “There’s a bakery in my consituency that’s held up by pit-props”

    However, the Baker’s Union has defended McShane

    “Yes, the cuts were swingeing, but it’s obviously going to cost the public purse a lot more to pay him £60 a week on the dole, than to keep him in his job – think of all the income tax he pays”

  223. 303
    One hunt to another says:

    Hi Tony it’s Denis McShane here …..

    Are there any of those unpaid intern jobs available? There are oh good

    But you do pay expenses right?

  224. 304
    Zaphod Beeblebrox says:

    Can I have the receipt as well?

  225. 305
    Aunty Matter says:

    Guido should be listening to Radio 5.

    They are nailing their colours to the mast and supporting McShit. They’ve just done a bit about it all being the fault of the BenP and siding sympathetically with McShit.

    The man is a fucking crook, but because he’s a lefty the BBC love him.

    • 314
      The BBC are cunts says:

      BBC = Brazenly Bonking Children.

    • 504
      Biased Broadcasting Corporation says:

      The Radio 5 Labour lefties are the scum of the earth, aren’t they? No doubt they will be trying to make excuses for all the BBC paedophiles as well when they are all exposed.

  226. 309
    Check Facts First says:

    “Those nice people from the computer shop made this for me because I was such a regular customer.”

  227. 310
    Paul Miller says:

    “Can I claim for this cake? Its expensive as its first class not standard class”

    “Guiness Book of Records confirms The worlds most expensive cake at over £15k per slice, as Denis the Penis shows off having his cake and eating it”

  228. 311
    aussie says:

    Somebody given him Liar Cake?

  229. 312
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    Haven’t read all the comments, but if no one has said it:

    McShame is saying “Thanks Gordon”

  230. 315
    fnar fnar says:

    Even the hedgehog shits on this cake are straighter than I am.

  231. 319
    Aunty Matter says:

    McShit’s statement that radio 5 read out had no thing to do with what he’s been found guilty of.

  232. 320
    Anonymous says:

    When referring to the Cake, his Secretary got the wrong end of the stick when he said “File it Twice!”.

  233. 321
    JonP says:

    Best before 2nd November

  234. 322
    fnar fnar says:

    Just look at this list of beauties.

    Only one has ever had a proper job. You couldn’t write a script.

    • 341
      Shocked and stunned..... says:

      Mahroof Hussain is a councillor in Rotherham and has served on the council for the past 10 years.He worked with the Minister for Europe, Rt. Hon Denis MacShane MP as an advisor on Equality in Europe and stood in the 2005 General Election in the Constituency of Sheffield Hallam against Nick Clegg. Hussain is an active member of Unite, and sits on the NPF. He was awarded an MBE for services to local government in 2008.

      ******** ‘worked’ for MacShame*********

    • 350
      Fog on the Tyne says:

      Notice that one of them is “an active member of Unite and a Rotherham councillor”. Wonder if he knows MacShame.

  235. 323
    mwnciboo says:

    Referring to the Cake, his Secretary got the wrong end of the stick when Denis said “File it Twice”.

  236. 325
    cynic says:

    To you just £5 a slice mate

  237. 326
    cynic says:

    But honestly I cannot beat Sponger cake – so i suggest Guido drink the prize himself

    • 461
      Your Friendly Neighbourhood Newbie Welcoming Service says:

      As if he hasn’t already done– you must be new to this website.

  238. 327
    cynicalHighlander says:

    “I cooked it myself”

  239. 328
    Legal Crook says:

    I’ve tried to blame the BNP, Guido, even the Tories, for the shit i’m in, nothing work’s. I know I’ll say ‘Gordon’ told me to do it, that’s always believable.

  240. 329
    Aunty Matter says:

    McShit resigns!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  241. 330
    Denis MacShameless says:

    I can bake cakes and cook the books.

  242. 331
    BBC Labour Spot the difference says:

    The cakes great,but I will only eat it ,when they give prisoners the vote.

  243. 332
    cynic says:

    Two files one cake

  244. 333
    Michael says:

    “Don’t worry lads, I’ll claim the cake on expenses – we’ll say it came from Fortnums”

  245. 334
    Bless the BBC says:

    BOOM bye bye mctwat. Now plod stir yourselves……….

  246. 335
    fnar fnar says:

    Probably been done but:

    Gordon fixed it for me.

  247. 336
    The Milliband Bros says:

    We’re thinking of buying a matching couple of these to wear at the Cenotaph. Helps to support our paper, and they look very fetching, don’t they.

  248. 337
    breaking noise says:

    Is it Labour Peer G reville J anner who is desperately trying to get an injunction to stop Newsnight revealing the name of a notorious pa edo ph ile on tonight’s programme?

  249. 340
    Angry Phriph says:

    “You can have your cake and steal it, Dennis”

  250. 343
    cynic says:

    Returning off long sick leave, House of Commons worker Denis McNutt wonders where his ‘welcome back’ cake disappeared to

  251. 344
    Chuka Urmunneyaround says:

    Meanwhile, over on Planet DiversityQuota…

  252. 345
    cynic says:

    Would you touch a slice after he’d handled it?

  253. 346
    Dan Cotter says:

    ‘FUCK YOU GUIDO…I’ll BE BACK…We always come back’

  254. 348

    Former Labour minister Denis MacShane resigns as MP after being criticised by expenses watchdog

  255. 349
    Fatso watson watch says:

    2h adamboulton adamboulton ‏@adamboultonSKY

    Lawyer Mark Stephens on Denis McShane: Huge victory for racists & fascist who’ve abused parliamentary complaints to destroy honourable MP.

    • 360
      Lenny says:

      That’s right. This is simply another example of outrageous anti-semitism by a bunch of Nazi SCUM! Denis Mac Shane has been doing excellent work across Europe to fight the growing scourge of anti-semitism and the fascist scum have been out to get him because of this.
      It is a victory for white Nazi scum against a great anti-fascist. Shameful.

  256. 352
  257. 353
    Fatso watson watch says:

    Michael Fabricant Michael Fabricant ‏@Mike_Fabricant

    Scotland Yard now reporting ‘unofficially’ that they are reinvestigating McShane case now previously ‘privileged’ evidence is now available

  258. 355
    Bond Age Girl says:

    The Great British Rake Off. (Brussels edition)

  259. 356
    the fish says:

    ‘Hello plebs, if you only knew……if you only knew’

  260. 357
    Michael Fabricant says:
  261. 359
    David Rose says:

    Claims for red and white icing are within the rules.

  262. 361
    Sparkler says:

    Pleb caught fondling anaconda on his laptop in rent free third house is given even more cake by parliamentary standards commission.

  263. 362
    Border Boy says:

    Denis says:”I thought I came back as an MEP and I could claim anything I wanted without regard to the rules.”

  264. 363
    Beast says:

    Dennis “Parachuted” into unsafe Austalian Labour seat

    Thats me arrested then, probably before him

  265. 365
    A! says:


  266. 366
    Retard Ed says:

    After all my thparkling performanceth at PMQth this puth the thpotlight back on Labour corruption. Ith not fair.

  267. 368
    cynic says:

    “Ex MP samples wares at new Strangeways Prison bakery”

  268. 369
    Lord Gre ville Jan ner says:

    I don’t want to be on Newsnight.

  269. 371
    Anonymous says:

    “my favourite part about this beautiful cake is the files, i have done a great deal of filing in my time.”

  270. 373
    DilligafOxford says:

    I’ve just been told this is going to be force fed to my arse, so that’ll be nice

  271. 375
    Flatcap Army says:

    “A tin of caviar? For me? How lovely! OK, I know it’s a cake but, er, sort out the receipt, would you, love?”

  272. 376
    Anonymous says:

    “haha those files aren’t real, quite fitting really because the last thing i filled wasn’t real either”

  273. 378
    Anonymous says:

    looks great but is this on your exs or mine

  274. 380
    Anonymous says:

    What more EPI research

  275. 381
    Steve says:

    This kind of gateaux costs a €1000 a pop on the continent. No need to ask for a receipt.

  276. 383
    julie Graham says:

    I hope there are files in this cake

  277. 386
    The Impartial observer says:

    Dennis MacShane modestly accepts his prize after being voted “most honest MP in the House of Commons” for the second year running. by an all-party group

    He said, “I don’t look at this as an award just for me but for all hardworking MP’s. I did it for the team.”

  278. 387
    Jude says:

    “It’ll cost ya…”

  279. 389
    MyMyMy says:



  280. 391
    Cicero says:

    ‘We had to put Denis because Matyjaszek wouldn’t fit on the cake’

  281. 392
    post hoc says:

    “Twas the night before christmas and all through the House,
    Not a creature was stirring, not even a louse,
    The laptops were hung in the shed with great care
    In the hopes that Saint Ed would soon also be there.”

  282. 393
    Last Quango says:

    Denis didn’t want to accept the cake but the BNP made him do it.

  283. 396
    Junior Asprin says:

    Dennis shows his shit pie that he intends to feed to the electorate

  284. 397
    Norfolk Muse says:

    Remember to file your tax return by 31st January

  285. 398
    Paulme says:

    I made it myself – just like the invoices.

  286. 400
    Revilo says:

    “Thanks for the cake lad – you can keep the computer which cost me nowt.”

  287. 401
    nellnewman says:

    ‘Because I’m worth it’ !

  288. 403
    What a loathsome man he is says:

    Mr MacShane said he accepted his career as an MP was over and he wanted to take responsibility for his mistakes. A by-election is now expected in his Rotherham constituency, where he has been an MP since 1994.

    Conservative MP Philip Davies has written to the Metropolitan Police, who closed an inquiry into Mr MacShane’s expenses in July, asking them to reopen it in light of the report – which he said contained new evidence.

    The committee’s report described Mr MacShane’s false claims as “far from what would be acceptable in any walk of life” and “fell far below the standards of integrity and probity expected of every member of the House”. It also criticised the MP for failing to co-operate with the inquiry.

  289. 404
    Bek says:

    Sponge bob shit pants

  290. 407
    Aunty Matter says:

    Good to see thief catcher Heather Brooke on the news.

  291. 408
    alexei says:

    If it had not been for Marie Antoinette I’d have thought this was too rich for peasants.

  292. 409

    McShane has resigned!

    Why did he do that?

    Its not like he did anything really serious. Nothing that requires he immediately stand down like upgrading to 1st class or calling someone a pleb, is it?

  293. 410
    EC1 PhD says:

    HMRC: “Your files are the icing on the cake”

  294. 411
    David L says:

    Is that a euro-file on your cake, or are you just pleased to see me?

  295. 412
    Anonymous says:

    This is the most humble day of my life.

  296. 413
    Universal Hiss says:

    M&S new Christmas ad causes share price to plummet.

    “Not just a cake.This is a Hamas cake.”

  297. 414
    Guto says:

    Since he is loved in the biggest pigsty of all (EU) i thought he’l find solace with his fellow piggy Barrosso

    ‘Welcome back to our club Missiour Macshane….Love Barrosso!!!

  298. 415
    Aunty Matter says:

    The only way to deal with politicians is to take away all control over their expenses.

    1. Any MP who needs a house or flat in London should have one purchased by the state. If it needs doing up the state pays for it. The MP can either buy (at their expense) their own furniture or have it provided by the state (like married quarters in the forces). At the end the house or flat is sold and the profits go to a charity for the forces for example

    2. No MP should be able to claim for computers etc, they should be loaned to them by the state and handed back when they leave. If they are damaged or stolen the MP pays

    3. Travel should be done by travel warrants (as per the forces) and only to the MPs home town or permanent house. All local travel should be at their expense as it is for other workers.

    4. MP’s should pay for their own meals etc and not in subsidised bars.

  299. 416
    Dan Foote says:

    Can I have it with gravy?

  300. 417
    Spinal damage says:

    Parasitical hoon!

  301. 418
    genghiz the kahn says:

    2nd November 2012.

    Metropolitan Police – 98987766541.

  302. 422
    keredybretsa says:

    Denny MuckShame is m’name.
    Fiddling and Sponging is m’game

  303. 424
    Gez says:

    Ex-Labour MP Denis MacShane produces evidence of broken laptop: “I left this one on the kitchen worktop, while my wife was baking, my fault. It’s ended up as a jam and sponge cake with icing. I can account for all the other laptops too. Just give me a few minutes….”

  304. 426
    @Ohthisbloodypc says:

    There’s a cake for Nom De Plume too – and that’s costing the taxpayer even more than this one!

  305. 427
    John Moss says:

    We’ll be checking that cake for files, Mr MacShane, right after the cavity search. Please step this way.

  306. 428

    SATURDAY 3/11


    Moving to smaller accommodation so everything must go.

    - 8 Sony Laptops still in original boxes -£200
    - 75 boxes of yellow house of commons paper –
    Embossed with “Denis McShane MP” no longer required- Good for scrap – £10
    - 12 cases of champers – Labeled ‘stationary’ -£100
    - Signed photo of Kevin Maguire and Robert Maxwell. says “See you next Tuesday Denis” -£10
    - Assorted secret documents and files of low grade Mo-s-sad intelligence -£5
    - “European Policy Institute” embossed chairs and tables – set of 10 – £20

    Hurry Hurry. Clear out of these and many more stationary and luxury items.


    And that includes the garage,
    as I’m going away for a while.

  307. 429
    OIE says:

    (July 2012)
    Jonah Brown: Welcome back into the fold Denis, here’s to a long and fruitful career.

    Denis: Thank you Gordon.

    (Nov 2012)

    Denis: Bloddy Jonah!!

  308. 430
    @Ohthisbloodypc says:

    Mr Quizling makes exceedingly bad fakes

  309. 432
    Roundell says:

    Cake says “get your greedy hands off me you Europhile! – which is only one step above Jimmie Saville”

  310. 433
    Crispy pancakes says:

    Breaking News: Greedy bastard gets cake from fawning lacky.

  311. 435
    Sir WW says:

    Like most MPs, Denis was more into Fat Rascals.

  312. 436
    millibrand says:

    HMP offers its traditional MPs welcome to the latest returnee

  313. 439
    Baron Hogwash says:

    Look what that dipstick Ed sent me!

  314. 441
    Stepney says:

    A thieving bald chipmunk called Denis
    Was a villainous trougher; a menace.
    He robbed and he lied
    And defrauded and tried
    To say sorry. What a dishonest penis.

  315. 444
    The Black Cap says:

    I was expecting a cake that said ‘Goodbye Denis’!

  316. 446
    Keith Vaz says:

    I don’t think you lot should pay much attention to what these committees say.
    They are often wrong you know.


    Just remember that in case anything should come up about anyone in the future.

  317. 447
    @Ohthisbloodypc says:

    It’s actually called Liar cake: ingredients are piety, greed and rum practices, served with a delusion of grandeur

  318. 449
    John Connor says:

    Cheap Tesco cake £4-30
    Two toy files £2.99

    Look on the bastards face when he’s sent down – Priceless

  319. 450
    @Ohthisbloodypc says:

    Mr Crapling makes exceedingly bad fakes

  320. 453
    @Ohthisbloodypc says:

    Layer cake? No, it’s a liar cake – with plenty of jam and a suggestion of porridge

  321. 454
    Dark Forces says:

    So..that’s Joyce, Vaz {?} McShane, Sir Stuart Bell and Ken Livingstone out.

    Soon we’ll have Euan Blair in a safe seat. Soon my pretty…

    • 457
      Shocked and stunned..... says:

      SIR ?? Stuart Bell…. ffs that is an oxymoron if ever there was……….. about the same level as SIR James Savile.

  322. 456
    Marie Ann twatnette says:

    MP claims this cake is actually his new office and almost gets away with it.

  323. 459
    Shocked and stunned..... says:

    Thankfully done………..

  324. 460
    jgm2 says:

    A crooked MP called McShane
    Was constantly making false claims.
    But his torrent of lies
    Should be no great surprise.
    All Labour MPs are the same.

  325. 462
    Ex Ah! Monika says:

    Mad Era Cake

  326. 463
    (I've been renamed) DA-Notice says:

    I see two files: one for the prosecution and one for defence counsel.

  327. 464
    Citizen Everyone Else says:

    MacShane proudly displays his sponge gateau, to be eaten in his new Wormwood chateau.

  328. 467

    press pack- haven’t called for a judge-led inquiry yet?
    Mr Miliband..why no desire for a judge -led inquiry into expenses Miliband?
    ..isn’t this the rich 1% taking hardworkingfamilies money? Miliband..Isn’t this croney capitalism. Ripping off others? It is isn’t it Mr Miliband?

    Nope..He’s gone. That was odd. Not like him to resist a good old judge-led shout.

  329. 468
    Pongo says:

    The file’s inside the cake, Denis…

  330. 469
    Phil says:

    A perfect example of why Labour should never get back in government holds up a perfect example of what they are offering to the electorate.
    The small print on the back of the cake, reads “send bill to the taxpayer”.

  331. 470
    jgm2 says:

    The sad thing is that his imbecile constituents will simply elect the next crook with a red rosette that is put in front of them.

    • 474
      Beast says:

      Mr JGM2
      By linking imbeciles to Eiither Gordon McMental or Labour voters in general you
      insult many hardworking imbeciles who have made this country what it is today
      A SHIT HOLE!

    • 475
      dunstall says:

      You r spot on Rotherham is made up of them most of them totally reliant on state handouts

    • 487
      Another Engineer says:

      Of course. Labour will win again, probably followed by the other socialist party, the BNP in second.

      What a great place Rotherham is.

    • 488
      Another Engineer says:

      Yes, Labour will win again, with the other socialists, the B*N*P* in second.

      And people wonder why Rotherham is such a hole.

  332. 471
    Herod says:

    “See! I’ve got 650 really good mates!”

  333. 472
    Hang The Bastards says:

    Denis likes a bit of cake with his porridge.

  334. 473
    Mr Plum says:

    Here’s a chance for Boris to get shoe-in back into Westminster

    • 483
      Everyone in Chingford says:

      He may as well. he has burnt his bridges where standing for Mayor again is concerned.

  335. 477
    dunstall says:

    Latest it looks like the use of Parliamentay Privelige argument will scupper Plods attempt to secure a conviction ,confirming what we all knew MPS are above the law

  336. 478
    Anonymous says:

    So where is the Newsnight story Guido?

  337. 479
    Time for Labour arselicking parasites in Edinburgh to fuck off and do one. NOW! says:

    Oh what joy¡ Another Labour parasite bites the dust. Plenty of more where that came from.

  338. 480
    Beast says:

    He probably cut his own daughters paracord just to clim some time off work and a nice little insurance claim*

    * The above is joke in bad taste so please dont arrest me PCPlod just this thief who stole off us all

  339. 481
    Ed Chap says:

    The cake turned out to be a delicious irony.

  340. 482
    Everyone in Chingford says:

    Thanks for the cake Boris. I wonder what the bad news is you are trying to distract everyone from this time?

  341. 484
    Get it up you warmongering Republicans says:

    This poor soul is not taking it up the Bush.

    Love it.

  342. 486
    Beast says:

    I note that he is of the “North London” type
    hooked nose ,low ears,and hideous to look at
    whist masquerading behind a false name (apart from the expenses)
    I of course deplore anti s£mi7i$m in all its forms

    • 494
      Charlie McChan says:

      At last somebody has found a use for them (apart from soap and lampshades)
      They also taste rubbery

    • 535
      Anonymous says:

      He is a Catholic. You are making anti-s’mitic inferences in this post. That really has no place in the discussion of corrupt MP’s.

      • 569
        another anonymous says:

        Comment removed at your suggestion? My response was to the comment above bastardising the common expression “to have your cake and eat it”
        Since McShane – has constantly played the je’w-ish card in attempting to confirm his pureness of character I saw no harm at twisting the expression to use [in my eyes] a recognised neutral word that actually originated from US immigrant j’ewi’sh families laughing at themselves.
        Happily I can make fun of myself and my Judaism. I look forward to your further put downs on this blog when the other monotheistic faiths of Christianity and Islam are teased or ridiculed the same way. Anti -sem*tic my arse!

    • 571
      Rabbi Burns says:

      Your political or otherwise beliefs are not important to me ,i am not all that political ,but it is really irritating to read such forceful comments churned out by you ,Beast, in such an illiterate manner,if you are going to contribute to these blogs i would respectfully suggest that you consider evening classes or further education.This is the first time i have been on this blog but i think i shall come on it in the future.

    • 573
      The Little One at the End says:

      If you mean he’s a twat then just say it FFS!

      • 586
        Rabbi Burns. says:

        Patience my little one, calm down,this is not good for your health.Oh i can see i have got my work cut out helping this poor misguided lot,but i will persevere ,its what i am here for.

  343. 490
    Channel 4 has gone down the toilet says:

    A very crappy birthday to the lavatory that is now channel 4.

    Here is your birthday cake.

  344. 491
    simon says:

    ‘At least it isn’t a Jim’ll Fix It badge.’

  345. 495
    ceejay says:

    CRUMBS!!! – McSHAME resigns, as The Great British bake off becomes The Great British F**K off.

  346. 497
    Ex Ah! Monika says:

    Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you what you are.

    You eat cake!

    You’re a shit

  347. 499
    Must get a pseudonym one day says:

    Denis MacShane = Dicensian Sham.

  348. 500
    in greedy ants says:

    Recipe for success.
    ” I have received so many messages supporting me from Labour and Tory MPs ”

    Gorbells Mick. Kinnockio. Lord Taylor. Lord Hanningfield. Jim Devine. Blair. Keith Vaz etcettera, etc etc.

    • 532
      nellnewman says:

      uddin, margaretmoran, jackiewhatsername, philhope, the carrot topped one, prezza

      labour has such a wealth of really ‘attractive’ people!!

  349. 501
    Leon Brittan says:

    I’ll be flying out of the country tonight at 22:30 to seek asylum in a country that doesn’t have an extradition treaty with the UK. Bye, kiddos!

  350. 502
    Shaun Dyer says:

    Bloody spellcheck, it’s meant to say Penis!

  351. 503

    “Can I have the receipt?”

  352. 505

    i’ll make thousands out of mileage from the chiltern hundreds.

  353. 506
    Anonymous says:

    Piece of cake all this expenses fiddling lark, says Denis, newly appointed to oversee the mathematics behind the NHS sell off as he admits it has all been a blast working for the Conservatives,

  354. 507
    DDC says:

    Cake says:

    “Denis, EU’re toast, mate”

  355. 508
    Gus says:

    ‘The Sponger and the Sponge’

  356. 509
    Another nutter passing by says:

    You can’t touch me , it’s within the rules.

  357. 510
    The Masked Avenger says:

    Can I put this on my expenses?

  358. 511
    Ahmed and dangerous says:

    Shergar found under assmed identity

  359. 512
    A Jockey says:

    He made hay whilst he could

  360. 513
    martyn Scobbie says:

    One receipt for business cards-that”ll be €1, 000!

  361. 514
    DH says:

    Can I claim this on expenses?

  362. 515
    Donny says:

    McShane’s office manager betrays his sticky fingers.

    • 529
      nellnewman says:

      What office manager? Or for that matter what office?

      Fiction has nothing an mcshane!

  363. 517
    bluerobbo69 says:

    I Don’t like Cake!

  364. 518
    Paul Cochrane says:

    Is there a file inside this?

  365. 519
    Xenophon says:

    All for me? But you know I’m not a greedy man!

  366. 520

    Fiddling? It’s a piece of cake

  367. 521
    Great Granddad says:

    “The plebs of Rotheram? Let ‘em eat cake.”

  368. 522 says:

    Let them eat cake

  369. 523
    Sir WW says:

    The Blondie tribute band received a warm welcome.

  370. 524
    Rewind1616 says:

    Ahh I’ll have this & eat it !!

    Nom nom nom nom nom nom de plum

  371. 525
    Damien says:

    I stole this cake because I am a criminal.

  372. 526
    McShane's prison bunk mate says:

    Dennis was pleased to be back in Labour HQ after 5 long years in sing-sing. He was especially impressed with the “back stabbing” motiff on his cake.

  373. 528
    Aless the foreigner says:

    You idiot!

    You’re supposed to put the file IN the cake, not ice it on top

  374. 533
    Clerk of the Court says:

    Prisoner at the bar ” How do you plead Guilty or Not Guilty ?”

  375. 534
    Is it Leon Brittan says:

    Just 90mins till Newsnight reveal who the nonce politician is. Get the popcorn ready.

  376. 536

    “Guess how I paid for this!”

  377. 538
    Gordon Fcuking McMental says:

    Never heard of Dennis MacShame whats it…….what is Europe……

    where is it & I’m certain I have not been there myself, ever…….

    Remember I was to busy saving the Universe & beyond…….

    Nurse is it time for my one up the bu*m ?

  378. 539
    magna says:

    ‘Its got his prints all over it’

  379. 540
    Hughes. says:

    “Whoever wins the bake-off gets to go through to the final round, cooking my books!”

  380. 541
    Non-Juror says:

    Denis shows off £10,000 worth of computing equipment (well that’s what it said on the receipt).

  381. 543
    Al-Beeb spokesperson says:

    URGENT release

    Due to circumstances beyond our control we cannot bring tonights

    edition of “Newsnight” as a replacement we will be re-showing the

    indepth look at the Nasty Party & why most people believe

    they are still unfit for office…

  382. 544
    Das Beard says:

    McShane: “how funny, people are bound to make a joke about you misspelling ‘penis’ now”
    Staff “that’s funny – it’s actually a misspelling of ‘fuck off you thieving twat’”

  383. 546
    Schadenfreude says:

    “Doh! You’re supposed to put the files inside the cake!”

  384. 548
    Newsnight exposing nonce says:

    If it turns out to be Mandelson, I may pass out from laughing too hard.

  385. 551
    Mercian says:

    “…and I’m only claiming £1000 on expenses for the cake!”

  386. 553
    Keith Dovkunts says:

    “No, I’m bald-headed you oaf! In this box is Hoplocephalus bitorquatus, the pale-headed snake . . .”

  387. 556
    Cwis Bwyant says:

    Over here !!!

  388. 557
    Tories Are Shit says:

    MacShane should be sacked and then criminally investigated for fraud NOW!!!!

    Meanwhile in other news, you’ve all heard about ATOS but did you know their medical staff (joke) in the UK have to sign the Official Secrets Act?

    why’s that then?????? who’s covering up what?

  389. 558
    uncle says:

    Yummy cake today lumpy porridge tomorrow

  390. 561
    Shakyboat says:

    “……I remember the days when I could have it and eat it”

  391. 562
  392. 563
    robbie says:

    I’m not the Messiah- I’m a very naughty boy.

  393. 564
    Tories Are Shit says:

    MPs Expenses
    MPs misuse of public money
    Great Western Railway
    The police

    just some of the shit that is ruining the country

  394. 566
    Rotherham parasitic chav scumbag says:

    Labour till I die!

  395. 567
    something evil this way bums says:

    Denis celebrates with his new prison nickname, cupcake.

  396. 568

    I’ve heard of Jail Bait. But Jail Cake’s a new one on me.

  397. 570
    Lorcy says:

    I’ll just take this to be translated lads, won’t cost you a penny

  398. 572
    Oinky oinker says:

    Pork cake, with dripping.
    Oh yea……

  399. 574
    Rage against the Mcshane says:

    What a crook.

  400. 576
    Vv says:

    Caption –

    Thieving lying left wing bastard

  401. 577
    Brightside Bob says:


  402. 578
    Matt C says:

    True to form, Denis’ inability to hide his crimes was obvious for all to see: the files really should have been inside the cake…

  403. 581
    Matt C says:

    Denis was surprisingly upbeat about his return to court in 2013

  404. 583
    Saffron says:

    Due to bent in power shitehouses what a mess this country is now in.
    The ordinary hard workers cannot comprehend what has befallen them and rightly so.
    The country is being run by a variety of barstewards intent on financial gain and other issues if you know what I mean.
    The law seems protective of some things we are now finding out about and they should be ashamed of themselves,but I doubt they are.
    This country is turning into a cesspit and we urgently need to alter course.

  405. 584
    EU Denis the menace said says:

    Your hired!

  406. 587
    EU Denis the menace said says:

    Cake my day copper

  407. 589
    EU Denis the menace says:

    Is there a cell phone in this?

  408. 591
    Another nutter passing by says:

    The smile is the smile of a person who knows they are untouchable.

  409. 592
    Chris Hunt says:

    New edible laptop unveiled. ‘It only took 14 prototypes but this is it’ reveals the inventive baker. .

  410. 593
    Newsnight bottles it says:

    They’ve bottled it. They only say it was a senior Tory minister.

  411. 594
    JBones says:

    “It’s a good thing this cake matches my watch or I’d have to claim another on expenses!

    …or maybe just another cake.”

  412. 595
    sylvie says:

    Stick it in the freezer for the next time!

  413. 596
    Oliver Cromwell says:

    A revelation?

  414. 597
    Leon Mcbrittan says:

    At no time have I ever entered a childrens home
    Hotels are so much more welcoming

  415. 599
    Living in 98 percent white Merseyside says:

    It was obvious from the start of the programme that names were not going to be named.

  416. 600

    From ker-ching to ker-clink.

  417. 601
    Rich Rostrom says:

    I’m a bit surprised no one commented that this is obviously a fake plastic cake.

    If it was real, it would be sliding off the plate, and his fingers would be sinking into the frosting.

    I noticed it, and I’m an idiot Yank.

  418. 605
    Anonymous says:

    Confectionary of Lies.

    Pretty poor – there, I said it myself.

  419. 607
    filipinomonkey says:

    “Thanks, do you have the receipt…”

  420. 608
    The Dirty Rat says:

    The winner of 2012 ‘The great rake off’

  421. 609
    Barry says:

    It’s not my fault I’ve got sticky fingers.

  422. 610
    Livesexy says:

    Denis, having his cake and eating it. Mwah, ha, ha.

  423. 611
    Old Lag says:

    Where’s the gateau fjail card this time?

  424. 613
    Muurty'S Ghuuurst says:

    Dennis swaps confection for conviction.

  425. 614
    Yakima Canutt says:

    I can’t be arsed to saw my way through the bars, maybe I can get an intern to do it. But what the hey, I can still claim these files on expenses

  426. 615
    Harry Benn's Pig says:

    Can I have a receipt for it, I need it for my files

  427. 618
    Greychatter says:

    McShame CV for EU job application:

    “With wide experience in expense accountancy – willing to use vast knowledge for expansion of the “European Gravy Train.”

  428. 619
    Blair's Paid Ego Parrot says:

    ‘ Oh it’s not a sponge? Er! ‘

  429. 620
    Man o' the People says:

    ‘When you’ve come to make a fortune and you haven’t made your salt,
    And the reason of your failure isn’t anybody’s fault -
    When you haven’t got a billet, and the times are very slack,
    There is nothing that can spur you like the shame of going back;
    Crawling home with empty pockets,
    Going back hard-up;
    Oh! it’s then you learn the meaning of humiliation’s cup.’

    The MacShame of Going Back by Henry Lawson

  430. 621
    Keith Dovkunts says:

    Ooooh! What a lovely shade of red icing. It matches my watch, the lipstick I’ll soon be wearing, and the blood I’ll no doubt be hemorrhaging in the showers . . .

  431. 622
    Daniel says:

    Denis has cake and sweats it.

  432. 623
    Penfold says:

    Premature Cake-elation

  433. 624
    dunstall says:

    This is a man with no shame,its the BNP fault ,his chaotic domestic arrangements,IPSAand anyone else he can blame.he is a thief and a liar who thought he was beyond the normal rules that apply to most of us.If in the likely event that he is not prosecuted then what is the point of voting in any election.THE FAKE WITH A CAKE

  434. 625
    Ed says:

    “Thanks for the gift…..

    …will only cost the taxpayer £3k on my expenses…

    …and then the damn intern stole it…


  435. 628
    easyleys says:

    You’d have thought they could have given me a laptop- tight bastards

  436. 629
    BBC Disinfotainment Commissioning Team says:

    In other news: in a joint statement, Hamas and the PA have condemned the the Curiosity Rover for the shameless trespassing of an imperialist vehicle over ancient olive groves.

  437. 630
    ianmcowan says:

    Candygram for Mongo

  438. 631
    Buster Gasket says:

    Neither your rabbit teeth nor icing-sugar files will get you out of the cell my old cock sparrow!

  439. 632
    theposh scouser says:

    “I’ll keep these files for when the Standards and Privileges Committee publish theirs!”

  440. 633
    the posh scouser says:

    “I save these files for when the Standards and Privileges Committee publish theirs!”

  441. 638
    Gordon's Beard says:

    And I claimed £1,000 for this cake.

  442. 639
    Ehtch says:

    Poor bugger. Lost in politics he is.

    And yes, it does happen. Can’t you tell by his glasses? Pants set of frames they are.

  443. 640
    Blondyweenywoo says:

    Denis Denis, oh with your fraud so true
    Denis Denis, I’ve got handcuffs on you
    Denis Denis, I’m so in hate with you woah-ohhhh

  444. 641
    dunstall says:

    Mc Shame….I prefer another kinda dough

  445. 642
    cynic says:

    Saville was a fool. He should have been an MP then noone could have asked nasty questions. Now look at the rouble he’s got himself in

  446. 644

    Pretty great post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wished to say that I’ve really enjoyed surfing around your blog posts. After all I will be subscribing for your feed and I hope you write again soon!

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Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

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