October 1st, 2012

Vote for Me, I’m an Expense Fiddling MP!

The Standard have an interesting scoop this afternoon: a number of shamed expenses-hungry Labour MPs who lost their jobs at the last election are apparently planning comebacks in 2015. Guido is generously offering to run their campaigns free of charge:

  • Dawn Butler – Dawn has lived in Brent all her life so she knows the issues that matter to you first hand. In fact, she’s such a dedicated Londoner that she claimed nearly £40,000 of your money for a second home, despite living within ten miles of Westminster! In her spare time Dawn likes to enjoy her “whirlpool” bath paid for by, you guessed it, the taxpayer (allegedly). Vote Dawn – no expense spared for a better Brent!
  • Shahid Malik – They say there’s no rest for the wicked, but don’t tell that to Shahid. After a long day helping constituents the Dewsbury through-and-through Labour stalwart likes nothing more than to relax in his massage armchair. You’ve already shown your appreciation, you paid for it! Don’t sit around – vote for Shahid!
  • Parmjit Dhanda – George Osborne certainly doesn’t have the experience to get us out of this economic mess, but Parmjit does. He’s a money expert, reportedly managing to get away with sneaking an extra £2,000 in mortgage payments by blaming it on “accounting adjustments”. If that’s the sort of financial nous you think we need in government – vote Dhanda!

Labour’s 2015 intake could really be something special


  1. 1
    Kebab Time says:

    Eds Next generation is quickly looking like a mash up of the old generation.


    • 27
      John Johnson says:

      Wills, Teddy has an uphill struggle that is for sure, if he can put the leaders of the unions in their place he will have made it, but Liebore has not got a good track record there, they brought Jim Callaghan, B’Liar & co just swept it under carpet


    • 54
      taC eht abbaJ says:

      Three out of three third worlder’s there in a bid at the Labour multi culti return to the trough and keeping Diane Fatbutt company…


  2. 2
    Religion: The Original Sin says:

    Su1cide definitely has it’s attractions


  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    Anyone who has seen Cbeebies knows that the current lot are just extras from Something Special too


  4. 4
    jgm2 says:

    Do these fuckers have nothing better to do than sit around for five years hoping to get back on the gravy train?


    • 8
      ed martin says:



    • 22
      Backwoodsman says:

      Stupid question really, jg, obviously no.
      Unless a fill in gig as a ‘paid’ fulltime councilor comes up, which strangely enough, often seems to do in labour rotten boroughs.
      I assisted in the removal of one brian white mp, the scrofulus nonentities’ nonentity, and fuck me if the little fucker didn’t try and get himself a position as a ‘working ‘ councilor. Cutting off labour apparachicks access to the public teat should have been high on the agenda of a switched on tory party, hey ho, we got cmd and gideon and Nottinghill rules of engagement.


    • 35
      Marketing pawn worth over a quatre of a billion says:

      Tickets please. All aboard the gravy train.


      • 50
        A Pleb says:

        These three may want to have their snouts in the trough but they are not in the same league as that corrupt bastard Keith Vaz.


    • 71
      Hugh Janus says:

      Who in their right mind would employ them??


  5. 5
    ed martin says:

    so…..Dawn not broke?


  6. 6
    BBC on You know who says:

    To say otherwise is false and very damaging to the BBC and individuals. The notion that internal pressure was applied appears to be a malicious rumour.”

    We say “appears ” not “is”


  7. 7
    ed martin says:

    there’s no wonga in it – innit?


  8. 9
    nellnewman says:

    Is margaretmoran coming back for luton and philhope for East Northants then?


  9. 11
    Sniper says:

    And if you don’t like those liars and thieves head off over to the Cleggies – now with added liar and thief Laws as a minister. Or why not try out “Honest” Dave;s pals complete with Alan Duncan.

    Brought to you from Westminster Bingo – where the House always wins!


  10. 12
    Fog on the Tyne says:

    Politics: the career of choice for the criminal classes.


  11. 13
    John Johnson says:

    Guido who was that tory trougher who had a house in London and claimed for a flat half a mile or so from his house, the whole shower are fiddlers, they want someome who is unemployed to travel for 1.5 hours to get a job on minimum wage, Liebore have no reason to be smug they demanded it as well.


    • 26
      Jimmy says:

      Mention of conservatives in this context is considered unhelpful.


    • 28
      Anonymous says:

      yeah, we covered that at the time you twat.


      • 44
        John Johnson says:

        Why not bring it up again chuck, this blog is out to expose all this fiddling that goes on and mps would rather the general populace didn’t know about it, folks needed to keep being reminded of it


        • 48
          Anonymous says:

          This thread would be a mile long if he mentioned every fucker on the fiddle, it’s just that Labour members have the extra dimension of being hypocrites of the highest fucking order.


  12. 14
    Knob Ed says:

    My masters on Tharg tell me that BallsCooper have ambitions to get rid of me. But I don’t believe it.


  13. 15
    Gooey Blob says:

    Labour desperately need some decent new candidates in 2015. Darling aside, I can’t see a potential PM in their ranks. It’s probably fair to say that Labour’s next PM isn’t even in the Commons yet.


    • 19
      jgm2 says:

      Labour’s last PM isn’t even in jail yet. Or the one before that.


      • 74
        AC1 says:

        One previous PM can at least claim insanity in his defence.


        • 81
          Tay King-dePisse says:

          Which one? They’re both a little squirrelly, each in his own way! And they’re both out “saving the world” now– give me strength!


          • Dr Nuts says:

            T Bliar is out saving the world. There’s lots of countries out there which has cash it does not deserve, and he’s doing his best to relieve those countries of such problem and save it in T@x H@vens, around the world.


      • 80
        ToonBob... says:

        Build 100,000 homes for immigrants and all will be well !


    • 23
      Euan Blair says:

      No…not yet. But mummy’s working on it.


  14. 16
    a non says:

    Thank the lord it will be a few years before the Vaz children appear.


  15. 20

    Miliband didn’t fall into the union trap. He’s getting tougher. And smarter.

    He might manage it you know. Incredible as it seems..he might just make it all the way to Gordon’s old gaff.


    • 24
      jgm2 says:

      What a depressing thought.


      • 30
        Cassandra says:

        Dave and his stupid backbenchers rushed headlong into Gordon’s tax trap.
        Having avoided the 50p tax trap when the grinning Mcimbecile invited them to stand on it in 2010, they suddenly decided to just dive right in in 2012.

        Why did you do that Dave? Completely wrecked two years of careful economic competence management.

        Now we have to have 5 years of Miliband and the kinder cabinet.
        Sweeties for all! Sweeties for all!

        {Until 2015 when the next Liam Byrne can write “there’s no malteasers left”}


    • 33
      Axe The Telly Tax says:

      He’ll do well to keep the Tory majority below 200.


    • 55

      Can he read a map then, Bill?


  16. 21
    Truthteller says:

    Three indigenous brits, amazing!!


  17. 29
    Jonny says:

    Anybody else reading those bullet points in the voice of Our Graham from Blind date?


    • 43
      Scary biscuits says:

      well..if I had to pick..I’d pick Malik because we know he’s got a good tv and entertainment system. Could watch Primary Colours.


  18. 32
    Marketing pawn worth over a quatre of a billion says:

    I am surprised that fat Jaqui Smith isn’t planning a come back.


    • 39
      Fat Jacq says:

      Who says I in’t? I got me sister’s room all ready for me ‘spenses.
      I was home secretary you know? I faught it would all be ’bout curtains and wall paper and stuff like that.

      But it was all dead boring stuff and we only to the Ideal Home show a couple of times.


  19. 37
    albacore says:

    Ho hum. Now, ain’t this just par for the course?
    Is there an MP without sticky paws?
    The Telegraph’s splendid revelations
    Demolished the whole lot’s reputations
    But how many snouts withdrew from the trough?
    And how many villains did Plod cart off?


  20. 38
    The. Savant says:

    Is. Ken Livingwill. Standing. Now he SMS. Given. Up. The radio. gig??


  21. 40
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Labour MPs are bigger fiddlers than Jimmy Saville.


  22. 41
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Is Livingstone their financial advisor?


  23. 42
    Vaz, Bliar, Dhanda, Moron, Butler, Lyingscum, Malik, et al says:

    we’d do anything for pelf!


  24. 49
    Sadsick Khan says:

    You is being well rayshellist.


  25. 52
    Aunty Matter says:

    Classic BBC Radio 5 bollocks.

    Camp sound male person stated on air

    “Today Ed Balls announced a 3 billion pound scheme to kick start the economy”

    Um, dear BBC, have you not noticed Labour isn’t actually in power?

    Fucking MONGS!


    • 60
      we pay for this shite? says:

      The plonkers still think Thatcher is in power ffs.


    • 64

      BBC News political editor

      “Ed Balls today put forward a credible and necessary plan to kick start the economy and end starvation for hundreds of thousands of public sector workers. he said he’d use the £4 billion that rich Tories are planning to spend on monocles and top hats for themselves.

      The chancellor insisted that there was no money available to prevent scurvy in primary schools and even if there was he wants the workshy, diseased proles to die.

      We now go live to Whiechapel where labour activists are trying to set up a soup kitchen for the handicapped whist coalition MPs pelt them with rotten fruit and smallpox infected blankets.

      There..fixed it.That should be fine for the six thirty bulletin.


    • 75
      AC1 says:

      Any competent economist would tell you that the subsidy would instantly just be added to the price lowering the affordability of housing even more!


  26. 56
    Aunty Matter says:

    Hmm no mention of Vaz on the BBC news or Jimmy Saville.

    I wonder why?


  27. 59
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Eric Hobsbawm was an extraordinary historian, a man passionage about his politics, and a great friend of my family.

    Ed Miliband

    Quote on C4 tribute to that bastard Hobsbawn.



  28. 61
    annette curton says:

    What a dismal prospect for all (the little people) the magic number is now post 2015, once upon a time there was something called public service wasn’t there? as opposed to private greed or is this just an illusion, or my delusion.


  29. 66
    ToonBob... says:

    Egg Balls, would we need 100,000 new homes if the last government had not opened the doors to millions of immigrants ??


  30. 82
    A High Security Prison Warden says:

    Those mp’s and the rest make my boys look like angels.

    Dave said he was going to fix ‘Broken Britain’ …..

    Yep kick the plebs, and keep kicking until the civil war starts,
    then walk away saying it’s the plebs.

    Mind you my boys are all looking forwards to reduced sentences
    so as to help fund the greedy embezzling mp’s.


  31. 84
    Muuurty's Ghuuurst says:

    No bed wetters scweeming ‘wacist’ yet? Strange that when their finest ‘multi-culti’ chums have their fingers in the fukkin till. They should be in prison. All of them. Bastards.

    Lets hope that oily f*cker Vaz gets his comeuppence too.

    I won’t hold my breath though.


  32. 86
    robbie says:

    And if you want a £200 Alarm Clock borrow one from Michael Connarty whose constituents have shelled out for it amongst his other £180k of annual expenses.

    That’ll get you out of bed in the morning…..


    • 91
      freddy the farting fish fascinated by Phrenology says:

      Who has the power to investigate ?
      what is the relationship police / parliament ?


  33. 87
    fitzfitz says:



  34. 90
    freddy the farting fish fascinated by Phrenology says:

    I fucking despair I really do.phfffrt


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