September 25th, 2012

Knowing Me Alan Partridge, Knowing You Nick Clegg

It does not get any easier for the Deputy Prime Minister. Nick Clegg is having a one-on-one right now with Steve Coogan. Apparently the coked-up starf**ker is back on his high horse and is seeking “assurances from Nick Clegg that he will continue to stand up to the power of newspaper editors and owners when the moment comes to decide” whether the press will be able to point out his hypocrisy.

Hypocrisy like waging a war against Murdoch and then taking his money as soon as he needed a channel for his new so-so Sky TV show.

Guido will be at the Hacked Off fringe meeting at 18.15 to ask him about it. Details of the meeting in Brighton at LibDem conference are here.


  1. 1
  2. 2
    Freddie Fraudster says:

    Steve who?

  3. 3
    Andrew Mitchell says:

    Is there a pleb in the house please ?

  4. 4
    Freddie Fraudster says:

    in any case, its just a bit of privatise overseas development aid, helping the poor farmers of Colombia to develop a good cash crop.

    Just like Thrasher did with all our billions for Indian spacecraft. At least Coogan spent his own cash

  5. 5
    Freddie Fraudster says:

    Yes…holding the tray with the Champagne flutes on it

  6. 6
    nick clegg's dad says:

    oh just kick them both in the bollocks

  7. 7
    Polly Toynbee says:

    Now then let’s all raise our glasses to the dead tree press !

  8. 8
    meat & 2jags says:

    Ones a Hunt and the other ACTS like he cares. Not sure which is which tho!

  9. 9
    DDC says:

    When you use the word “knowing” in the heading, I hope that’s not referring to its biblical meaning!

  10. 10
    meat & 2jags says:

    excuse the typo.

  11. 11
    Do you know who I am? says:

    Not heard anything about Mitchell recently… what’s happening? When does he go?

  12. 12
    Kebab Time says:

  13. 13
    DDC says:

    Love the heading on the Hacked Off link’s ad at the top – …night Sky!

  14. 14

    He’s not going to make a career out of being a crusader for truth is he?
    That’s a full time job and Shami has it pretty much sewn up.

    Stick to comedy Mr Coogan. You’ve already smashed the News of the World AND sort of ended the cosy political/media loop. You’ve done plenty of good.

    So get back to writing something funny. Because there has been an awfully long lean spell. I’m not complaining. you have been doing good. However….

    If you’re not careful you’ll end up like Mark Thomas playing to small rooms of differently gendered sequined man-womens at former crap polytechnics.
    Not a happy thought.

  15. 15
    Yes, it's official says:

    Lib Dems just as wierd and fucking ugly as tories

  16. 16
    Beast with a dripping nose and no appetite says:

    The farmers of colombia already have a great cash crop

  17. 17
    Jimmy says:

    Coogan’s being tapped to mend fences with students.

  18. 18
    Beast with a dripping nose and no appetite says:

    It would be if you were a Lib Dem, Clegg is already doing it
    Trannys, pooves,dykes hunchbacks
    You name it thge LibDems have them all

  19. 19
    Mr Ramsden says:

    I love him en femme CERTAINLY STEVE COOGAN. I was once in a Mayfair salon catering for trannies, fem doms, players, empathy heads and Madame said “He really let himself down last week. (while cross dressed) SO slutty.” Yes, behaving sexually at an orgy. Standards really are slipping.

  20. 20
    Mr Ramsden says:

    meant to write CERTAINLY NOT STEVE COOGAN whoops. sorry

  21. 21
    dr funny bone says:

    Coogan is an unfunny one-trick Hunt who thinks the world owes him a living.

  22. 22
    dog says:

    I wonder if he knows anyone with a super injunction.

  23. 23
    Whipper Mitchell, V.I.P. says:

    “Guido will be at the Hacked Off fringe meeting”

    They don’t need any plebs.

  24. 24
    Alexsandr says:


  25. 25
    rocknrolla says:

    Steve Coogan is a monumental twat – if we allow people like him to set the rules then we will have a state controlled press.

    He is like many of the rich, lefty morons who think that nobody should be allowed to agree with them.

  26. 26
    P Toynbee says:

    I have dispatched Giovanni from my villa to the nearest town to purchase some of the finest most expensive wine, the likes of which no plebs will ever taste.

  27. 27
    Jimmy says:

    So get there early if you want the buffet

  28. 28
    steve h says:


    man grooms white girl and no mention of pakistan or asia. shurely shome mishtake?

  29. 29
    will says:

    lord levenson is in thrall to these celebs complaining about thier naughty habits being exposed, thye can always sue if the newspapers are wrong in a court of law.

    I really hate celebs like steve coogan who complain about privacy but are only to happy to prostitute themselves in the media to get exposure for thier new film, tv series, album whatever.

  30. 30
    jgm2 says:

    Fine wine is wasted on plebs. They’d only dr*ink it.

  31. 31

    I’m still struggling with a decent pleb gag for Letterman for Dave.

    The setting is Downton. Dave explains that the footmen in Downton are of a different social class but lord Grantham would never be so rude, as a gentleman, to tell them they are inferior in any way.

    “But..your chief of staff did?”

    “Indeed. That can only mean he isn’t a proper gentleman.”

    “Ok…And you’re gonna tell him that?”
    N . Because I am a proper gentleman.”

    OK OK…I know…{crumple crumple..}..its harder than it looks you now…

    We’ll have to go back to

    “Thats quite incorrect David.What Andy Mitchell actually said was nothing like what has been reported. He said “Is it true that the only reason you are a cop is that you failed the application for Dunkin’ Donuts? ” It was supposed to be a joke, you see. However that’s when they gave him, what I believe you term in this great country, a good five-oh ‘ing?” {smug about growth..fuck off out of there..I begged him not to do the bloody show…begged him to send Sam}

  32. 32
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Clamity Coogan.

  33. 33
    Sir William Waad says:

    Steve Coogan’s humour is too ‘laughing-at’ for me. I prefer ‘laughing-about” or “laughing-with”. His style is Humour of Embarrassment.

  34. 34
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Calamity ffs.

  35. 35

    Been getting off some zingers this week Mr Jimmy.
    New joke book?

  36. 36
    Sir William Waad says:

    Guido, you could extract the Michael by saying how much you admired his work in Around the World in Eighty Days. (Actually it only seemed like 80 days).

  37. 37
    Sir William Waad says:

    The US presidential election……..E Pluribus Anus

  38. 38
    jgm2 says:

    Not as bad as Ricky Gervaise though.

    Fucking hell, that’s awful. It’s like those bits on X-Factor where they show the borderline retarded banging out ‘My Way’ while playing the ukelele.

    Cringe? I should say so.

  39. 39
    ABC Empire says:

    Funny how it’s the has-beens (Coogan, Grant) who are making the most noise about this. I doubt if playing the injured party will do anything to revive their careers.

  40. 40
    Hypocrisy says:

    What a bunch of hypocrites.

  41. 41
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    The US political system– “In God We Trust– All Others Pay CASH!”

  42. 42
    Spacker Brown says:

    Needless to say, Murdoch had the last laugh.

  43. 43
    meat & 2jags says:

    It needles to say you are probably right!

  44. 44
    Sock puppet busted. says:

    Oh come you are clearly not the real Andrew Mitchell as he would never use the word “please”.

  45. 45
    meat & 2jags says:

    The irony with Coogan is that his Alan Partridge Persona is actually more articulate than he is. Perhaps “Coogan” should also have a scriptwriter!

  46. 46
    the truth is dull says:

    what? like he was in 1989? sheesh. he was really really funny that night…i seem to remember skint video were really good as i normal? it was the only laugh i got in the whole two years i was there.yes we had a mandela wine bar. “former crap polytechnic” ha ha…exhaust black corrugated concrete monolith…slapped onto the ring road…zzzzzzzzzz

  47. 47
    Norman Stanley Fletcher says:

    Nail on head.

  48. 48
    Baldy says:

    Call-Me-Dave: “Oh the ‘pleb’ business was only a faux pas Mr Letterman.”

    Letterman: “How do you mean? Give us an example for Americans who aren’t really au fait with French.”

    Call-Me-Dave: “Well when I was in the Whitehouse garden with the First Lady I hurt my hand on a rose, so when she later asked ‘How’s the prick’ and I said ‘Still throbbing’ and the President said ‘bastard’ and kicked me in the balls – well that’s an example of a faux pas.”

  49. 49
    Oh bugger, I deleted all my cookies says:

    Or should it be Steve Cohen?

  50. 50
    A Pleb who is getting annoyed says:

    So non means tested benefits to rich pensioners some of whom may be living abroad are to be stopped are they ?

    Well I thought this was part of the ” low hanging fruit ” which was cut back at the beginning of this Coalition Government to get the country up and running again .

    What exactly has been going on over the last two years and what exactly has been achieved ?

  51. 51
    Loopy Lou says:

    ” Well Dave, I bet you are looking forward to the return of Steve Hilton ? ”

    Is this a faux pas ?

  52. 52
    Education? says:

    “Their”. Fuckwit.

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