September 21st, 2012

Friday Caption Contest (Obamyaaargh Edition)

This weeks winner will win a copy of Britannia Unchained.

The much talked-about book by a group of Tory MPs made waves this summer, setting out their alternative plan for economic recovery.

Usual rules apply…


199 Comments

  1. 1
    What's Left? says:

    Obama to Pirate: How much tax did you pay last year?

    No shit!

  2. 2
    Kebab Time says:

    “You see your pirate ship, well you didnt build that! “

  3. 3
    lewismadigan says:

    Planning goes underway for the Boston Tea Party party.

  4. 6
    Selohesra says:

    Now say “I turned the economy into a pirate ship” lots of times and very quickly

  5. 8
    Cap'n Jack Sparrow says:

    Obama to Pirate

    Welcome to the White House President Rumpay of the EUSSR….

  6. 9
    Time 2 CTRL, ALT & DEL says:

    Concern is expressed among Republicans that Romney didn’t take the presidential debates seriously.

  7. 10

    Obama’s dentist calls to collect unpaid bill.

  8. 11
    Enda says:

    Now listen here old boy. These Somali pirates are buggering up my business. Anything you do?

  9. 12
    ed martin says:

    O’B to LJ: will it cost and arm and a leg?

  10. 13
    ed martin says:

    O’B: you did WHAT? in the paralympics?

  11. 14
    Time 2 CTRL, ALT & DEL says:

    A leaked photo shows why Obama always sort to avoid Gordon Brown.

  12. 15
    Yes Matron says:

    Obama to Pirate

    So that’s how you got through security, Gordon.

    Nurse!

  13. 16
    Geordieboy says:

    Pirate to Obama ,”Will you play a slave in my next movie?”

    • 85
      Tay King-dePisse says:

      Somehow, Barry never caught on that it was actually Sacha Baron-Cohen, in character for a new Pirates of the Caribbean film; he thought it was a photo-op with a disabled Navy Seal veteran of the war in Afghanistan from Bethesda Naval Hospital, in costume to entertain his daughters…

  14. 17
    Captain Dangerous says:

    ” Yuh see Meester President, you take Romney’s balls in your left hand, like this, and then squeeze haaaaaaaaaaard”

  15. 18
    John Moss says:

    So, you just steal other people’s money? I like that.

  16. 19
    Calvin says:

    By 2017, Prime Minister Boris’ diplomatic eccentricities had been accepted as normal behaviour

  17. 20

    “So, Mitt, how’s your campaign been going this week?”

  18. 23
    Anonymous says:

    Now listen up, Hamza, you’re not fooling anyone with that parrot. Doesn’t even look real.

  19. 24
    ed martin says:

    O’B to bin Laden: give the disguise a few more weeks – no one will notice but lose the parrot?

  20. 25

    US president greets UK shadow chancellor at White House.

  21. 26
    ed martin says:

    parrot to O’B: I saw your lips move – you said ‘no more taxes’

  22. 27
    Lord Pension of Abolish after I've left says:

    So, Mr Hamza how did you enjoy the in-flight movie?

  23. 28
    Sir William Waad says:

    “But how dowevknow we can trust you bankers this time around?”

  24. 29
    ed martin says:

    anyone: how can you make a buck in ‘ere?

  25. 30
    not a machine reloaded says:

    mmm nice costume ,plundering our childrens future , Ok its simple visual pretty good ,I dont think the 45% Mitt upset will be bothered .

  26. 31
    Antipo-dean says:

    Personally, OI object te the term ‘Poirate’. It makes me sound like them kiddies what steal music in the in-ter-nets. The digital age calls fer a re-evaluation of prop-er-ty roights to reflect the new reality brought about by new tech-no-lo-gy. The oidea that cargo belongs to anyone is out-da-ted; cargo wants to be free, and Oi’m the man to bring it freedom. The in-ter-nation-al trade system we have today is a lingering vestige of a n 18th century system, gradually expanded by many years of grasping expansion of roight by “Big Cargo” and ignores the spectacular development over recent decades in small, fast boats and big guns. We call for a re-balancing of roights in the direction of the average guy on the street. Or on the water. No-bo-dy needs to get hurt. Free Cargo! D’arr!

  27. 32
    Schweizermag says:

    I told you you’d have someone’s eye out with that

    • 129
      Ralph, the kid from A Christmas Story says:

      That’s what they all said about me and the BB gun. It was horseshit then and it still is today. They just don’t want kids to have any fun, and will use an excuse that’s so old, they told it to little David and his slingshot back in the pre-Goliath days. He didn’t pay attention to them either.

  28. 33
    Sir William Waad says:

    Once again, the head of the National Rifle Association explained why firearms were perfectly safe.

  29. 35
    Nonny Mouse says:

    His clever disguise having worked, “Allah Akbar!” exclaimed Abu Hamza before killing the Great Satan.

  30. 37
    Moussa Koussa says:

    **** Another great week for Call Me Dave ****

    Started with rolling out The adulterer John Major, as all Tory MP and , ministers have gone to ground.

    The Gimp then hacked off another swathe of parents with his Baccylordytwat

    NIMBY Tory councils then defy Dave planning changes

    FT then report Dave ahead in polls ( the pointless polls )

    Dave’s right hand man Cleggy, makes a fool of himself, with a blubbing apology.

    Dave now in bovver with UKIP ( or the fruit cakes as Dave knows them )

    And finally some pompous p*ounce and personal friend of Dave makes an ar*se of himself at the Gate

    …not forgetting this weeks U-turn count of 4.

  31. 39
    Schweizermag says:

    Say, that’s a pretty fancy costume that you mormon Bishops get to wear.

  32. 40
    wordpress blogger says:

    Obama to Pirate…The Christmas Panto season is coming up, what shall I come as, a talking Parrot?

  33. 41
    AC1 says:

    Obamacare’s first surgeon is recruited! Hopes to emulate NHS’ legendary levels of service.

  34. 42
    Thick as a Planck says:

    Hilary, I know your looks are failing, but perhaps another face-lift would suffice for now.

  35. 43
    Schweizermag says:

    So…did you ever think about what you and Abu Hamza have in common?

  36. 44
    AC1 says:

    Land based redistributionist meets sea-based redistributionist.

  37. 45
    Two Eds are worse than one says:

    What do you think of my new film, Irates of the Koran Burn?

  38. 46
    Freddie Fraudster says:

    Obama thinks “Who the f**k thought this was a good idea”

  39. 47
    Bibi Netanyahu says:

    This was the only way I could get that bastard to do his job

  40. 47
    Freddie Fraudster says:

    Election 2012 campaign focus groups plumb new depths.

  41. 49
    a non says:

    Peaces of hate!

  42. 50
    Freddie Fraudster says:

    So how was Guantanimo?

  43. 51
    Biff says:

    Hey Gordon, haven’t seen you for a while….how’s it going?

  44. 52
    annette curton says:

    Johnny Depp receives Congressional medal of honor from Mr President.

  45. 53
    Nonny Mouse says:

    When he dialled the number in the telephone box this was not quite the cheap hooker that Huggy Bear had expected!

  46. 54
    I Squiggle says:

    Why the disguise Mr Clegg?

  47. 55
    Freddie Fraudster says:

    So how is the “swing from the yardarm” vote?

  48. 57
    Kebab Time says:

    Gordon goes to extreme lengths to meet Obama again.

  49. 58
    Sir William Waad says:

    “Y’know, Blackbeard wasn’t really all that black.”

  50. 59
    Gordon 'Horatio' Brown says:

    I have only one eye, I have a right to be blind sometimes… I really do not see the signal!

  51. 60
    annette curton says:

    Obama: What black spot? (pull up a Blind Pew).

  52. 61

    And now on ‘Who do you think you are?’ President Obama meets his real grandfather

  53. 62
    Dummitt says:

    I don’t care what Apple Maps says. This is NOT Jamaica.

  54. 63

    Piers Morgan tries to reach out to a younger demographic.

  55. 64
    happyslayeruk says:

    “Look Gordon, I said last time I didn’t want to talk to you. The disguise is ridiculous and anyway the patch gave it away”

  56. 66

    ..All I’m saying Mr President, about your Medicare bill..All I’m saying is.. I went into an NHS hospital with a broken finger and came out minus an eye and a hand.

  57. 68
    Steve Miliband says:

    The Admiral of the Fleet denies stringent cuts are affecting the British Navy

  58. 69
    geddit? says:

    parrot: …and so the lady replies- I rather fancy a cockatoo!

  59. 70
    Stepney says:

    First TV debate descends into farce as Romney mishears advice and targets the Hispaniola vote.

  60. 71
    Walanker says:

    So, you take all your treasure and bury it underground? Who’s your financial advisor? Mitt Romney?

  61. 72
    Hava Nagila says:

    Obama: “If you want to steal money from honest merchants, there are easier ways to do it than piracy, like working for the IRS or becoming an elected official.”

  62. 73
    Loungelizard says:

    President Obama discusses Scotland’s Navy with SNP Naval Attache.

  63. 74
    Anonymous says:

    Pirate: “….your secretary said you wanted a PILOT for Air Force1….ahhhhh”

    Obama: “Xiang Lee, your arse my office, NOW!”

  64. 75

    “This parrot repeats everything his master tells him.”

    “Really? So his boss is Bill Clinton too?”

  65. 76
    warlockwanderer says:

    Obama meets with the leader of the Pirate Party

  66. 77
    Ali Hook Show says:

    Is it coz I’s black?

  67. 78

    Confusion arises when man asks to see the Black Pearl

  68. 79
    ed martin says:

    parrot: afghanistan – honest guys – its a jungle out there

  69. 80
    a non says:

    Yo ho ho meats yo-yo O

  70. 81
    Anonymous says:

    Pirate: “…..so your secretary actually said you wanted a PILOT for Air Force 1….ahhh”

    Obama: “Xiang Lee, your arse my office NOW!”

  71. 82
    Lycan says:

    Just WTF?!!!

  72. 84
    Peter Grant says:

    Obama: “That hook looks like it could rust. Have you tried subscribing to Obamacare?”

  73. 86
    mr beard says:

    “The black Pearl? just set anchor on Romney Marshes, aye mitt me lad!!”

  74. 87
    Alex says:

    “Mr President, your Somali anti-piracy strategy just isn’t working!”…

  75. 88
    illogical says:

    Just another meeting of long johns. Pants!

  76. 89

    …Obama listens in amazement to the pirate’s tale.

    Pirate..”So this smelly beggar, covered in sores and grease, he comes up to me and says “Here! Take this! Its barrels of doubloons. From me Treasury’s crypt they is. Take ‘em away. They’re cursed..cursed skeleton pirate gold they is..Take ‘em and chuck ‘em in the sea ‘fore Davy Jones grabs us all!”

    BO -”..and that gold really did have a curse on it?”

    Pirate – Hell no! I flogged it to the Swiss and bought myself a whole fleet of ships.”

    BO – Did you ever find out who that crazy Scotchman was?

    Pirate..Aye! Some say he was old mad bonkers McMental of Fife. Others that he was…

  77. 90
    Anonymous says:

    POTUSA: “I don’t give a fuck, you got an itchy arse, you scratch it yourself”

  78. 92
    Rupert my Hero says:

    Billy Bragg’s disguise fools no one.

  79. 93
    Loungelizard says:

    You say your name is David Miliband and it’s the only way you could get by the security guys.

  80. 94
    Sidney Crosby says:

    Someone dressed as an idiot talks to a guy dressed as a pirate.

  81. 95
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Barry: “I’m more a ‘gin & tonic’ man myself, Captain Morgan, but seeing as Coca-Cola is the No.1 US export, besides jobs under my administration, I’m always glad to help them in any way possible…”

  82. 96
    gramma says:

    Friday Caption Competition presents the black spot

  83. 97
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Blackbeard at the White House: “So I told the constable at the gate, ‘Arrghh, don’t ye know who I am, ye bloody landlubber? Shiver me timbers, we’ve got a thick pleb here! I’ll have ye keelhauled, matey!”

  84. 99
    ed martin says:

    polly parrott: now you come to ask the question Mr President – I am – aren’t I just?

  85. 100
    Andrea says:

    Talks with Taliban confirms Obama’s confusion over Afghanistan exit strategy

    • 104
      Andrea says:

      Spell-checked: “Talks with Taliban confirm Obama’s confusion over Afghanistan exit strategy”

  86. 102
    ed martin says:

    parrott: its the election – stoopid!

  87. 103
    David says:

    So how is Smee keeping, seen him lately?

  88. 105
    Steve Miliband says:

    Repeating Parrott fashion

    “These strikes are wrong at a time when negotiations are still going on.
    “But parents and the public have been let down by both sides because they have acted in a reckless and provocative manner.
    “After today’s disruption I urge both sides to put aside the rhetoric and stop it happening again.”

  89. 106
    Mr Gowser says:

    Obama “So how did you lose the eye?”

    Pirate “Got a speck in it, and first day on with the hook”

  90. 109
    Should have gone to EyePatchSevers says:

    One of Kate’s was THIS big, I think.

  91. 110
    opt says:

    Pirate FROM Never-never land meets President IN Never never land.

  92. 111
    Sir William Waad says:

    Sacha Baron Cohen’s fourth movie promised to be a sensation.

  93. 112
    Hetor says:

    Pirate: Did you hear what Andrew Mitchell said to a policeman?
    Obama:Who is Andrew Mitchell?

  94. 113
    ed martin says:

    parrot to O’B: OK TC that’s Iraq, Afghanistan, world poverty and Medicare – all taken care of – what’s next for Teeeeeam America boss?

  95. 114
    fruitcake says:

    Obama: I see you’ve lost weight Guido

  96. 115
    Flatcap Army says:

    “And what are you up to next?”
    “The usual – taking money off rich people, fighting, doling out gold to my supporters. And what about you, Captain?”

  97. 116
    Random Video Bob says:

  98. 121
    michael says:

    “Let me be clear… make no mistake… you ‘ARE’ – how America – has won – the future.”

  99. 124

    Obama suddenly sees through the disguise.

    “Whoo..Hey!..Aren’t you the guy that tried to kiss me in the kitchen?”

  100. 126
    Bluehealer says:

    Obamas meeting with the new Somalian diplomat went better than expected.

  101. 127
    Steve Turner says:

    Man totally detached from reality interviews pirate.

  102. 130
    Anonymous says:

    Parrot:

    “PRETTY POLITICAL, PRETTY POLITICAL”

  103. 131
    Baron Hogwash says:

    You $#%^”$ pleb!

  104. 132
    Old Canute says:

    “You’re from Somalia you say? I’ve been to Somalia; I have some photographs somewhere……..”

  105. 133
    Man On Clapham Omnibus says:

    You want my right hand to replace your hook?

    Isn’t that a hand-job?

  106. 134
    Anonymous says:

    Extradition of Abu Hamza goes badly.

  107. 135
    the savant says:

    obama to pirate

    d you mind if we don t shake hands ?

  108. 136
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Obama: ‘So Clinton didn’t have sex with Tinkerbelle too?’

  109. 137
    Anonymous says:

    What you mean, you fished out Osama?

  110. 138
    Bidet boy says:

    So, Hillary, how’s the hormone therapy going?

  111. 139
    stroppycow says:

    B O: Piers I know your ratings are piss poor but to go to these lengths……..

    (I know, I know, it’s taken me all fucking day to think of that FFS!!!

  112. 140
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    “No really, it’s not a problem, I know where you can get a birth certificate and a social security number. You’ll be fine. But the pirate has to leave.”

  113. 141
    wight tory says:

    Abu Hansa to donate 101 pieces of eight to election fund*

    *(but only on being able to take up residency in the Virgin Islands)

  114. 144
    keredybretsa says:

    Pirate:’I am a Bullshitter myself, but, I do like to hear a professional at it. So please continue!!’

  115. 145
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    “How are you getting along with the masonic handshake?”

  116. 146
    Maverick Ways says:

    Saving the economy: by hook or by crook.

  117. 147
    Lycan says:

    Nick Clegg enters into coalition with Obama to give the nation leadership in the face of economic instability

  118. 149
    not now cato says:

    Obama: Can I hold your cutlass?

    Pirate: I haven’t got a cut and I’m a boy!

  119. 150
    Fabians are Evil says:

    “No you can’t be one of my 47%!! With YOUR overseas earnings your one of the 1%……’er how about a campaign contribution?”

  120. 152
    kimblantonblog says:

    Sorry, I was expecting someone who wanted to discuss something called “bittorrent protocol” …whatever that is!

  121. 153
    Rightallalong says:

    ‘Look Barak, admit it, we’re all crooks, only I’ve stopped pretending’.

  122. 153
    Ghost of Greg Stone. says:

    So to hook a voter get a disibility.

  123. 156
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    you were born in Hawaii, right ? is that where you got the parrot ?

  124. 157
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    “let me show you this, given to me by prime minister Gordon Brown of Great Britain. it’s an invisible glove puppet, isn’t it cool ?”

  125. 158
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    you’re kidding me he gave me one of those too

  126. 159
    robbie says:

    So Captain Pugwash, how do you feel about getting aboard with the Black Pig?

  127. 160
    Jimmy says:

    How Cameron looks to the President.

  128. 161
    YorkshireLad says:

    “That’s a very ordinary fancy dress, Mr President”

  129. 162
    DO NOWT DAVE the DOWNING STREET DOORMOUSE says:

    At last ! Gordon Brown surfaces in the Whitehouse

  130. 163
    DO NOWT DAVE the DOWNING STREET DOORMOUSE says:

    O k Willis , What you come as ?

  131. 164
    DO NOWT DAVE the DOWNING STREET DOORMOUSE says:

    I’m Gordon Brown , and i discovered America you know !

  132. 165
    DO NOWT DAVE the DOWNING STREET DOORMOUSE says:

    Obama asks his chief fund raiser for increased funding !

  133. 166
    Thick as a Planck says:

    Tell me more about these offshore islands where you bury you treasure Tony.

  134. 167
    Thick as a Planck says:

    Why does he keep repeating ” Change we can believe in”?

  135. 168
    Thick as a Planck says:

    I fully agree. The price of toothpicks ARE ridiculous.

  136. 169
    Thick as a Planck says:

    Come on, make up your mind. Do you want to represent us in the Parrotolympics or the Paraolympics?

  137. 170
    Parrot says:

    Can you get that bugger above to walk the fucking planck.

  138. 171
    Thick as a Planck says:

    And while you’ve been waiting for an economic miracle, I’ve grown another leg!

    • 173
      Thick as a Planck says:

      or

      “And whilst you’ve been waiting for a copy of Britannia Unchained, I’ve grown another leg.”

  139. 172
    Thick as a Planck says:

    Did you ever hear that Max Bygraves one? ” You need hands…”

  140. 174
    Thick as a Planck says:

    “Gordon, I know you like to pick your nose but…

  141. 175
    filipinomonkey says:

    The President “You look like someone whose vote I can count on”

    Pirate “Not sure yet I haven’t decided”

    The President “I was talking to the parrot”

  142. 176
    Chris says:

    My name’s Netanyarrghu. This was the only way I could get in to see you.

  143. 177
    Harry Benn's Pig says:

    BO “I never said we needed a new winning hook to hang the election campaign on; I just said give us a hand”

    Pirate ” Aye Aye, more rum please, I’m not seeing double yet”

  144. 178
    Barnehurst Bob says:

    Both: ‘So you take other peoples money, with the threat of force, if necessary. Then you redistribute it amongst the people who put you in charge’

  145. 179
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    “Goosing Hillary was an error of judgement”

  146. 181
    Penfold says:

    B.O. ” So the parrot has this interesting idea on economics, I’m all ears talk to me”

  147. 182
    please pick me says:

    One is a terrifying force that will kill you for your resources and will loot and plunder your wealth, the other is a pirate.

  148. 183
    ed martin says:

    parrot:

    Hey Mr President, have you read ‘The Dummies Guide to Ventriloquy’?

  149. 185
    Anonymous says:

    So this pirate walks into the Whitehouse…
    Obama: “Is this some kind of caption competition?”

  150. 186
    The Pie Rat says:

    So you see Mr President, I only had limited health care insurance

  151. 187
    Rupert my Hero says:

    Move over Keira

  152. 188
    smile dammit smile says:

    So you put your hand in the alien reptiles bottom and you say that it was dissolved ? I guess that must have hurt ?

  153. 189
    smile dammit smile says:

    ” you think 2 fingers is better ?”

  154. 190
    idonotbelieveit says:

    Obama to Yemeni pirate;

    Ok, here’s the deal. You can keep plundering the ships, I don’t even want my cut anymore; just please take that awful, screeching squacky bird off my hands and lose her somewhere, my current foreign policy sucks

  155. 191
    Pauly Perrett says:

    BO’B:

    ” Jeez Mr. Bercow, Gordon likes to be fisted with that??!!

  156. 192
    Come in No.10, your time's up says:

    Ed Balls to Obama: Welcome to No Treasure Island, Mr. President.

  157. 193
    Lemmy says:

    Obama to Lemmy: “Who you calling the Ace of Spades?”

  158. 194
    Anonymous says:

    Guido to Order-Order contributors: “Fuck, no, I can’t be bothered with this Caption shit”

  159. 195
    Quirky says:

    Obama: “Look, the bottom line is, those artists have written and produced that music, you can’t just sell it online.”

  160. 196
    it was Hewitt wot done it says:

    ‘Twas a Moor what cut me hand off,Matey.

  161. 197
    Come in No.10, your time's up says:

    My birth certificate says I’m Long John Silver. What’s your excuse?

  162. 198
    Anonymous says:

    Hi Abu, welcome to he good old US of A – take him away guys!

  163. 199
    mwnciboo says:

    “Lets talk Filibuster reform”


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Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”



orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?


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