September 20th, 2012

Leaked Tory Memo: Cable “Roasted” and “Damaged Lib Dems”

As the fallout from Clegg’s singing dominates Westminster, Vince Cable’s own positioning on the mea culpa has been forgotten. One line of CCHQ’s internal press summary for last night really sticks out. The internal blue verdict on Vince’s Newsnight appearance is stinging:

“Cable was serious [sic] roasted and further damaged the Lib Dems in an attempt to cover himself.” 

No sympathy there it seems…


  1. 1
    UlyssesReturns says:

    Yes but no but yes but no but no tuition fees.

  2. 2
    Kebab Time says:

    I think this may turn out positive for Lib Dems in the end, If charity single does well then more people will here a politician say sorry and some will respect that, some may even join the Lib Dems….

  3. 3
    Vince Cable MP says:

    This is what I have to say to that:

  4. 4
    Anonymous says:

    not sure I would give too much credence to CCHQs analysis of this stuff. Remind me, what was their take on the Chloe Smith/Paxo car-crash in their internal press summary?

  5. 5
    Beast says:

    They all “ROAST” us only as there are three of them we have to either give a hand job or take it up the arse as well and we all know which option your average LibDem would choose

  6. 6
    Ghooly says:

    Is that a spit roast or Sunday Roast

  7. 7
    Joe Thorpe says:

    He’s a blithering idiot, how else could he end up with an office in government unless he was a member of a bits & pieces party with so few members of parliament that are avoiding being sectioned by the slimmest of margins. Ireland had the same issues with their minor coalition partner, watching them on Vincent Brown is often like watching one flew over the cuckoo’s nest they are oblivious to sanity!

  8. 8
    Anonymous says:

    I think it would be news if the memo revealed ‘Wow! Great job by Vince’ or similar.

    As it is what we have here is people who don’t like Lib Dems communicating with other people who don’t like Lib Dems giving wholly partial views about Lib Dems.

  9. 9
    Gordon McMental says:

    mmmmmmay I just say
    I have always enjoyed a good old fashioned Hampton roasting

  10. 10
    Chukwit says:

    As Jaguars new F Type is unveiled I do have to wonder what could could have been achieved if only Bob Crow had been chief designer

  11. 11
  12. 12
    For those who missed it says:

  13. 13
    Rinka Scott says:

    I never trust Liberals .

  14. 14
    the savant says:

    with respect i don t think anybody would longingly consider a spit roast with dr cable .

    he s far too old for that sort of thing …

  15. 15
    beast says:

    It wouldnt work, would cost a fortuune to keep and have a roof made of solid bone

  16. 16
    Handycock sex Tourist on Taxpayer's money says:

    In the spirit of my illustrious Leader (who, by the way, did not send me a get well card), I would also like to make a public apology to my constituents and members of the Liberal Democrat Party. I would like to apologise for my 46 year political career, mainly using taxpayer’s money to chase young girls for sex, especially in eastern Europe. To this end I am trying to make amends and here we have an example of it (although I don’t know what it is all about).

    Can I start going back to Russia now Nick? Boaz.

  17. 17
    The Golem says:

    Probably something suspiciously like a Zil.

  18. 18
    David (Lavendar) Laws says:

    Nothing average about me, you fucking bitch.

    I’m top of the range.

  19. 19
    wozza says:

    CCHQ’s evening news summary is not an internal memo, its just some researchers verdict on watching newsnight. Not a leaked memo, not really newsworthy.

  20. 20
    Nick Clegg says:

    No. Pervert.

  21. 21
    Anonymous says:

    Yes, but will Eric Joyce sign the Pledge?

  22. 22
    I don't need no doctor says:

    The lib dems will say anything to win votes.

  23. 23
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Guido 24 hours behind my curve. Keep up Guido, and read the comments posted!

  24. 24
    annette curton says:

    Clegg o’ Pledge,

  25. 25
    Dave says:

    Ooh, you sound butch! Fancy a quick one?

  26. 26
    I'd love to smash this arsehole in the face says:

  27. 27
    Alex says:

    They aren’t really liberal though, are they?

  28. 28
    Gooey Blob says:

    He has his uses, but Vince isn’t really a fitting person to lead the Lib Dems. There are better alternatives available. He might win back some of the votes that have been lost to Labour since 2010, but that’s only because Miliband is so utterly woeful. Vince would still get a kicking at a GE.

  29. 29
    The Real World says:

    Why is this news? We knew 18 months ago that Clegg and Co failed to keep their pledge. Clegg knew 18 months ago. What a FTP (fucking toss pot). Pathetic, moronic, patronising. And as for Cable it looks like he’s doing a one handed Vulcan mind probe and can’t find one.

  30. 30
    Do not mock the afflicted says:

    Lots of people with ancestors born in York have a mental illness best described
    as delusions of grandeur.This is due to the fact that York was a walled city and
    incomers were not welcome which led to lots of in-breeding. This is the reason for the exceptionally large number of mental institutions in York during the early
    part of the twentieth century.

    Vince Cable was born in York and so were his ancestors,so it is cruel to mock him.
    He is a victim of circumstances just like someone born with a disability.

  31. 31
    Jimmy says:

    I’m sure there’ll be a full inquiry as to how a CCHQ memo fell into the hands of an independent, non-partisan and wholly unconnected website.

  32. 32
    Nick Clogg says:

    er…shouldn’t that read Cable spit roasted the Fib Dems?

  33. 33

    …Cable was serious roasted…

    Hope H@rry has not been helping them out.

  34. 34
    Flip-flop Vincey says:

    What an old confused codger Vince is.

  35. 35
    Forkbender says:

    And the cons would be Rodger

  36. 36
    Forkbender says:


  37. 37
    Dudley Zoo says:

    Why haven’t the government ever considered making the UK a tax haven?

  38. 38
    Dudley Zoo says:

    Why haven’t the government ever considered making the UK a tax haven??

  39. 39
    Forkbender says:

    He has his Moddy Botty working flat out what more do you want

  40. 40
    Forkbender says:

    What a plonker, wants rodgering with a barge pole

  41. 41
    Forkbender says:

    And so was Guy Fawkes (the real one)

  42. 42
    Forkbender says:

    Because Gideon wants your money, how is he going to pay for those glory projects HS2 and other such things

  43. 43
    Anonymous says:

    Clegg has ability and integrity but I hope Clegg leads the dems into the next election.

    I can’t wait to LOL when Clegg becomes the first UK party leader to lose his deposit.

  44. 44
    Dave Laws says:

    If Cable was roasted, it was as nothing compared to that ridiculous woman from UKIP on the same programme.

  45. 45
    Dave Laws says:

    They have (but not told anyone). Wake up at the back.

  46. 46
    Alex says:

    Given how often this site has a pop at MPs from all parties, you really are proving to us all how incredibly stupid you are.

    Well done you!

  47. 47
    Golden Boy says:

    He IS some sort of deposit

  48. 48
    Zib says:

    I can no longer stomach Newsnight, regardless of whether it’s Paxo or Krusty in the chair. Rumour has it that Brevik watched an episode immediately before he went postal.

  49. 49
    Quiet Bat Person says:

    Too old? Is he in the Lemon Party then?

  50. 50
    Lord Kinnochio Multipensions plc says:

    Any chance of another apology now for the minor matter of those EXPENSES problems, mr Laws?

  51. 51
  52. 52
    Chris Huhne says:

    A brilliant piece of political insight Handy. Boaz.

  53. 53
    Jimmy says:

    I’m seriously considering adding subtitles for the hard of thinking.

  54. 54
    Vince Cable says:

    A monumental political strategy Handy, monumental.

  55. 55
    Kebab Time says:

    I seem to be lossing my touch after the 1000 first place celebateions – back with extra concetrasion tomorow

  56. 56
    optional says:

    The famous square-wheeled Allergo? Pity nobody told Red Robbo that the square wheel should go inside the car and not on each corner.

    *No spelling errors were found in this essay.

  57. 57
    Mad frankies older sister says:

    Big boys made ‘I’m do it, innit

  58. 58
    Spartacus says:

    Tax haven?

    Dave, you must be a sponging:-
    exile, immigrant, unmarried father, liverpudlian, husband of pregnant nigerian, dependant of a third world illegal alien, asylum seeker, worthless sh1t of somesort . . .

    Delete as appropriate.

  59. 59
    Vince&Clegg says:

    Fence sitters. Splinters in the bums.

  60. 60
    Every man for himself! says:

    The words, rats, ships and sinking, come to mind

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Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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