September 4th, 2012

Rolling Reshuffle Rumours and Gossip

Beyond sharing in the delight that Osborne loyalist and current backbencher Matthew Hancock had a busy evening answering prank phone calls from amused colleagues calling him on private numbers, very few details regarding the reshuffle are actually cast in stone this morning. Downing Street have confirmed that Andrew Mitchell will replace Patrick McLoughlin as Chief Whip. The move was not universally welcomed amongst the ranks on the Commons terrace last night.

Guido was heavily tipped at the weekend that the former Chief would not be returning to the backbenches, instead getting a party role. Therefore the latest gossip that McLoughlin will be heading to Transport makes a lot of sense – when Philip Hammond was in the job, he would spend one minute of a TV appearance talking about cars or trains and the rest mopping up the government crisis of the day. From miner to firefighter.

George Young and Cheryl Gillan are reportedly toast and Shapps remains tipped to replace Warsi. Elsewhere outward movement was talked up overnight for Lansley, Spelman and Clarke – all of which remains, thus far, speculation. As of midnight, Guido got heavy kick back on Clarke going completely, but the man himself has remained uncharacteristically tight lipped. Sky claim he turned down Young’s job. Where we will be by the end of breakfast remains to be seen…

UPDATE: Clarke to Minister Without Portfollio, which means Warsi is out of two jobs.


  1. 1
    Tachybaptus says:

    Might it have been better to wait till the morning, when something has actually happened?


  2. 2
    Rupert my Hero says:

    but Dave stays, as do the other Liabilities.


  3. 3
    taC eht abbaJ says:

    Sadly no sign of the Clegglet moving outwards…


  4. 5
    Plantagenet says:

    Bad news for flop sweat. And Cabinet Ministers.


  5. 6
    Leiber Losers says:

    Note McTw&t got CHEERED at the Para games last night! What does that tell you about the electorate……… words fail me!


  6. 7
    Kitler says:

    If they can suck a golf ball through 20ft of garden hosepipe they should get the job.


  7. 8
    illogical says:

    Downing Street’s legacy.
    Despite failing to deliver- [Only 2 mice in nearly 3 years] I am confident Larry will not be reshuffled, especially now that he has Freya from No 11 to advise him on mice matters .

    Makes you wonder if everything could have worked out better for the UK’s economic fortunes during the last few years if Humphrey [ a previous resident] had not decided to leave because he was allergic to Cherry Bliar.


  8. 9
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Cable tied to new post in Downing Street, and left for the amusement of passing crowds.


  9. 12 says:

    I see Prince Ha*rry has a new title.

    Best undressed man of the year.


  10. 14
    Popeye says:

    With a modicum of good luck, Clarke, the arch European in the cabinet will be out, sacked I hope. Sent to the back benches where he can do a “Howe” on Cameron.


    • 20
      Really? says:

      Matthew Hancock:

      Voted for a smoking ban.
      Voted strongly for more EU integration.
      Voted very strongly for increasing the rate of VAT.
      Voted strongly for greater autonomy for schools.
      Voted for replacing Trident.
      Voted for automatic enrolment in occupational pensions.
      Voted very strongly for encouraging occupational pensions.
      Voted for Labour’s anti-terrorism laws.
      Voted very strongly for university tuition fees.
      Voted for raising England’s undergraduate tuition fee cap to £9,000 per year.
      Voted against a more proportional system for electing MPs.

      LabLibCon = No Choice.


  11. 15
    Louise Mensch says:

    I’m loving all of this !!

    Tee ! Hee ! Tee ! Hee!


  12. 18
    A woman says:

    Lansley and Warsi out?


  13. 19
    The Tit in No 10 says:

    No probs! – one’s basic aims are to

    1. Assert my authority

    2. Boost ties with €USSR

    3. Boost contributions to €USSR

    4. Boost O/S Aid

    5. Boost total Wind Farmage

    6. Maintain and build on Tony’s Legacy




  14. 25
    nellnewman says:

    well if he doesn’t get rid of bumbling vice the coalition will be no better off than before.


  15. 28
    My left foot's a brick says:

    Deckchairs anyone….?


  16. 29
    Well it's a thought says:

    Deckchairs are being rearranged, captain Camoron , plenty of icebergs and growlers about, but don’t worry about them or the passengers, they don’t matter, as long as your first mate Clegg is ok we will be home in 2015.


    • 67
      grumpyoldman says:

      No – the deckchairs are the same, and about as much use as before, except that Cleggers has been told to put a couple of them back in the locker, until the ship has to go into port for a major refit. It is the crew that have been (minimally) changed. But Cleggers has said that he will not approve a reduction in the number of the lower ranks until there is a severe reduction in the number of senior officers, and an election is held for those that remain.

      Icebergs, anyone?


  17. 34
    Dithering Dave says:

    If I replace some of the troughing duds in the government with some other troughing duds will you please say that I’m a man and not a mouse.


  18. 36
    Nick Clogg says:

    It is essential that the UK remains part of the EU until I assume my seat on the gravy train.


  19. 37
    come over all giggly says:

    “Osborne loyalist and current backbencher Matthew Hancock had a busy evening answering prank phone calls from amused colleagues calling him on private numbers”

    My, what fun these tories do have.


  20. 40
    Lou Scannon says:

    David Cameron’s reshuffle cull targets ministers who failed to deliver change
    That means Cameron and Osborne are gone, then, right ?


  21. 41
    nellnewman says:

    according to Sky cameron is so scared of the libdems he’s not only leaving bumbling vince where he is but he’s making 2 more of them ministers. spineless Wimp.

    Bet the tories are chuffed about that!!


    • 44
      Passing By says:

      He needs them more than ever (and that says more than anything about Dithering Spineless Dave)


    • 61
      Umbongo Umbongo, They Drink it in the Congo says:

      What fucking Tories? The Conservative Party is not in power and not in government. Dave would serve in a coalition with Millibean if he could still be PM. The man is a disgrace and the best example of a degenerate elite in power since the Romonovs in 1917.


  22. 43
    • 46
      Man in the street says:

      He’s not one of those elites, now is he?

      The Queen approved Whittam Smith’s appointment as First Church Estates Commissioner. He was chairman of the Financial Ombudsman Service from 2001 to 2003. He is also a director of Independent News and Media (UK), Vice Chairman of Tunbridge Wells Equitable Friendly Society, and a vice-president of the National Council for One Parent Families. He was appointed president of the British Board of Film Classification in 1998, instigating liberalisation of film and video censorship, a post from which he resigned in 2002. Later that year he was made a Commander of the Order of the British Empire. He has been on the Board of Trustees of The Architecture Foundation.


  23. 50
    BARON Jeffrey Archer of Weston Super Mare says:

    I shall be pleased to accept whatever post David offers me – whether Justice Secretary or Cambridgeshire Police Commissioner


  24. 52
    Theresa April, Home Secretary says:

    I reappointed myself to my job in yesterday’s reshuffle.


  25. 53
    Steve Miliband says:

    Surely as it is the first deckchair moving of this Government it’s a ‘shuffle’ not a ‘reshuffle’?


  26. 60
    Lou Scannon says:

    Presumably Ken left his portfolio on some train or other.


  27. 64
    Jimmy says:

    “Therefore the latest gossip that McLoughlin will be heading to Transport makes a lot of sense”

    Of course it does. You predicted he’d get a party job and lo and behold he didn’t get a party job.


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