August 30th, 2012

Vaz Visa Trouble

Keith Vaz has been doing the rounds today voicing his concerns over this morning’s decision to ban London Met university from handing out visas to foreign students:

“The way this has been handled is appalling. I am afraid it may damage the reputation of UK as best place in world for overseas students.”

Guido isn’t quite sure how Vaz has the nerve to come on TV to talk about visas. Back when he was a Foreign Office minister in 2001 Vaz was sacked in disgrace after an inquiry revealed he had lobbied the Home Office to give citizenship to the millionaire Hinduja brothers. They had bunged his wife’s company £1,200.

Vis-à-vis visas, Vaz is on shaky ground…


  1. 1
  2. 2
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    He’d make a rather good Mr Toad wouldn’t he.

    “Poop poop”

  3. 3
    Denis McShane's Shed says:

    Oily, sanctimonious little twat.

  4. 4
    Selohesra says:

    How about a new competition for this site – instead of caption contest we could have ‘What is favourite adjective to describe Vaz?” – how about Oleaginous?

  5. 5
    Errrr says:

    Blood hell Guido – that’s like saying you’d have a nerve talking about minimum alcohol pricing because you have a previous alcohol-related conviction.

    Seriously, who writes this stuff?!

  6. 6
    john hill. says:

    Odious little creep…the most bent of them all.

  7. 7
    Arseholes says:

    That’s a bit arse about face isn’t it?

  8. 8
    Denis McShane's Shed says:


  9. 9
    annette curton says:

    Hasta la visa?.

  10. 10
    Newtons laws of corrupt politicians says:

    General rule of thumb: If Keith Vaz speaks out against something then its must be OK

  11. 11
    fuck the bbc says:


  12. 12
    Forkbender says:

    Wiz Waz looks as if he has piled weight on, must be all those subsidised meals

  13. 13
    The blueprint of a crooked politician. says:

    You only have to look at him to realise that he is a crook. And if you hear him speak then all suspicions are confirmed.

  14. 14
    Anonymous says:

    The decision won’t harm Britain’s reputation with overseas students. Hundreds of thousands will still come here.

    LMU’s procedures were seriously poor, a Trojan horse for foreign workers!

    Vaz was probably on the take from LM hence his concern!

  15. 15
    Belinda (Age 8) says:

    Granny— What is a Privy Councillor ? It says Keith Vaz is one. Is it someone who shovels shit?

  16. 16
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    *Breaking news*

    Conservatives looking to form a coalition with the Labour party after the next election.

    Dave: ” Ed Millibands party has a lot in common with us, I am sure we could work togeather to help get this country in the heart of Europe and also make it a greener place to live”

  17. 17
    Anonymous says:

    Meanwhile on home soil, he with fattest ‘little brown envelope’ will get to see “Mr Keith” first – what a hoot, very much like the Hinduja Bros again!

  18. 18
    Forkbender says:

    He does not look all that small now

  19. 19
    TomCatesby says:

    How about devious?

  20. 20

    Why are we suprised my this odoius prat.He should have been ejected from the Commons years ago.Although if you did that,how many MP’s would be left?

  21. 21
    Old Grumpy says:

    “What ME sir? No sir! Nobody told me sir!”………… Well it is a SCHOOL after all!…….. What better than schoolboy responses!

  22. 22
    Media Whore says:

    Rather like the constant self promotion of your blog.

  23. 23
    TomCatesby says:

    How about oleaginous and devious?

  24. 24
    Weakling PC Dave says:

    He’s a mooslim immigrant. We need more like him in H. of P.

  25. 25
    Meanwhile in the US of A says:

  26. 26
    Denis MacShameless says:


  27. 27
    Chapati Wallah says:

    “Vis-à-vis visas, Vaz is on shaky ground…”

    Ha ha ha! – another ‘Guido Classic Quote’!

  28. 28
    Anonymous says:

    how about mucilaginous?

  29. 29
    K.VAZOLINE says:

    Smooth talker !!

  30. 30
    notareargunner says:

    The Vaz Dysentery: Same bastards who murdered 12 lads from the Black Watch, same thieving illegal immigrants that refuse to serve in the Forces just in case THEY get posted to Afghanistan? Bent illegals welcomed with open purses by the Thieves of Westminster. With a magazine of live ammunition, LOAD…Can’t so that, the shit and his entire entourage…TAKE AIM… are lawyers. FIRE…

  31. 31
    Lord Mandelbum of Shirtlifting says:

    Are you sure?

  32. 32
    East India Company Wallah says:

    London Metropolitan was noted to be an extension of Heathrow back as far as 2004-When Vaz’s party held power
    Of course importing leftists is what Labour do

    A brief skim through slipperys wiki entry reveals a woeful abuse of position on an almost yearly basis,his reporting of ex-policewoman/commander had echoes of Margaret Hodge and the abuse victim from Islingtons childrens home.What a bastard

  33. 33
  34. 34
    TomCatesby says:

    It is dear and Vaz is shitmaster general!

  35. 35
    Terrible But True says:


    I fully expect Mr. Vaz will be given an awfully hard time on this during his near daily rounds of the BBC & SKY sofas.

    Won’t he?

    Otherwise one might feel the broadcast arms of the MSM are the ones Leveson should really have been looking into.

  36. 36
    BeeCee says:

    Can anybody pronounce Denis McShane’s real name?

  37. 37
    Col Nut says:

    Vaz symbolises all that is criminal, rotten, and corrupt in British political life. His continued survival in high office is a national disgrace.

  38. 38
    Lib Dumbs says:

    *Sob sob sniff*

  39. 39
    Popeye says:

    It’s time this grease-ball was drummed out of his chairman’s seat.

  40. 40
    feel good... says:

    Vis-à-vis visas……rather enjoyable.
    ace creativity.

  41. 41
    annette curton says:

    Somebody but not Leveson, sanctimonious prick.

  42. 42
    Gonk says:


  43. 43
    Joe Soap says:


  44. 44
    Joss Taskin says:

    Isn’t Keith Vazoline’s sister now an MP ?? #LiborNepotism.

  45. 45
    LET’S COMBINE says:


    VazBottyBullshit with Cream of Biased Bullshit

  46. 46
    The Tit in No 10 says:

    Oh I say chaps! I asked for that Inquiry – what?

    And what’s the wattage of renewables toady? – you know chaps – wind, water, sun, biofuel, – all the things that make me and my jolly chums rich, Richer! …. VERY RICH!!!!!

  47. 47
    PhilO'TheWisp says:


  48. 48
  49. 49
    The Tit in No 10 says:

    I’m so sorry Mz. Crouton – are you One of Us? – where are your Estates? – got a Wind Farm? – would you have you room for a Wind Fram – or Two? – dashed fine little earners I can tell you!

  50. 50
    Mornington Crescent says:

    C-r-o-o-k isn’t hard to pronounce, is it?

  51. 51
    Newton says:

    Although it was a long time ago now – and I’ve moved on a bit, – it was something about attraction being directly proportional to mass? – anyway, – your T Whatsit and E. Pickles must be VERY attractive.

  52. 52
    keredybretsa says:

    Would you buy a used car off this geez? Shake his hand and you have to count your fingers afterwards. Unbelievable chubby faced hypocrite!

  53. 53
    Why? says:

    This Heathrow thing. Northolt is only 5 miles from Heathrow. Why don’t they just build a fast rail link between the two?

  54. 54
    M'Lord Mandlescum of Heated Pools and Boyz says:

    I always come from behind, – lean forward a little would you?

  55. 55
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Well, well, well… I thought I’d seen it all about Vaz over the years but I missed this – well worth a read:

  56. 56
    Eurolalaland says:

    Spanish leader Rajoy has just said at his meeting with Hollande:
    “Neither the euro, nor the EU will make steps backwards. We’re convinced that Greece will stick to its commitments.”

  57. 57
    Joss Ayinglike says:


  58. 58
    National Socialist says:

    When are Coulson and Brooks in court? That’s gone very quiet.

  59. 59
    SP4BS says:

    If they “just built” a railway line, there wouldnt be any nice toilets or fast food outlets over there.

  60. 60
    East India Company Wallah says:

    surely you mean H.M.P.

  61. 61
    Steve Lloyd. says:


  62. 62
    Tomorrow's Chip Wrapper says:

    Me old Mum’s MP is “Vazz-i” as he’s known locally…. she won’t have a word said against him..I do try but she and her mates at the care home still vote him in…they think he’s MARVELLOUS….I’ve given up on it.

  63. 63
    alexsandr says:


  64. 64
    Tomorrow's Chip Wrapper says:

    October innit ? Looks like Tom Crone will soon be joing them

  65. 65
    JH says:

    Surely you mean ‘in departure lounge with one way ticket’

  66. 66
    East India Company Wallah says:

    Never earned a penny outside the public sector

  67. 67
    Nicola Murray for PM says:

    Nothing would surprise me with “Dave” after all he and Ed have a lot in common. They’re both posh;went to Oxford and are both millionaires

  68. 68
    alexsandr says:

    dont need a new line. Build a station in Ruislip and route the trains via greenfod and Ealing to Heathrow. Would need a little electrification but would be cheap.

  69. 69
    Mr Rumpy Pumpy says:

    To Mr Rajoy. It is with trusting confidence in your leadership and the courage of the bureaucrats under your command that the European people and I are following the heroic struggle in Brussels.

    In the situation which you find yourself there can be no other thought but to stand fast, yield not a yard of ground and throw every hackneyed cliché and every man into the battle. Considerable shill-economist reinforcements are being sent to reinforce you. Mrs Merkel and Mr Hollande are also making the utmost efforts to send you the means to continue the fight. Your enemy, despite its existence in the reality based community, must also be at the end of its strength.

    It would not be the first time in history that political desperation has triumphed over the bigger economic realities. As to your minions, you can show them no other road than that to victory or death.

  70. 70
    English Liberation Front says:

    Until Labour are held properly to account for their many crimes against the English you can’t really blame them for demonstrating bare faced hypocrisy. Since the media pretends en masse that they did nothing wrong in the years from 1997-2010 why shouldn’t their leading mouthpieces adopt a holier than thou attitude and lecture those now struggling to clear up the shitty mess they created.

    It will be mildly interesting when they inherit the fruits of their own misconduct in 2015 to see how they lie, deceive, dissemble and misrepresent the situation so that anyone other than they will get the blame, but almost certainly the Tories. After all Labour and the bloody left wing are never wrong and can do no wrong, as they and the media keep telling us.

  71. 71
    AC1 says:

    Never earned a penny inside the public sector

  72. 72
    Thomas from Tonna says:

    The Government might be right about this University but I think the Government’s actions are a bit high handed.

    These foreign students come over here and pay quite fancy fees which are all gratefully received. Then they all need accommodation and how many spare rooms have been let out tax free I wonder.

    Added to that is the day to day expenditure these students make even if it is only visiting a corner shop.

    To tell a third year student he has 60 days to find a new course and possibly lose the cost of one or two years study to boot is a bit much especially when the missive comes from a load of jumped up Eton toffs.

  73. 73
    Nepotism says:

    It’s ok when we did it.

  74. 74

    Vajazzle = tawdry decoration for a cuпt.

    Vaz should change his name by deed poll immediately. Everyone would know why.

  75. 75
    call a spade a spade says:

    fookin useless arsehole

  76. 76
    joescotus says:

    just read the wikithingy are there no limits for this corrupt fucker?

  77. 77
    Vazeline® The Slipperiest Substance On The Planet says:

    Slippery by name, inherently slippery by nature, welcome to my world.

  78. 78
    Col Nut says:


  79. 79
    Sick of them all says:

    Yes after a long stay at H.M.P

  80. 80
    Is valerie as bad? Does it run/gallop in the family? says:

    Vaz has been sliding up the greasy pole leaving an oily sluggy sludge in his wake.
    Get me some silk cushions (on expenses) hunky Keith.

  81. 81
    The Right Dishonourable Keith Vaz MP says:

    Brown envelopes anyone?

  82. 82
    ToonBob... says:

    Teflon Vaz -eline

  83. 83
    - says:

    Keith Vaz’s voice gets posher every day. It’s more affected than Fukushima.

  84. 84
    Mornington Crescent says:

    I didn’t know LMU was such a useless place:

    Oddly, none of this background material appears on the BBC. Funny, that.

  85. 85
    Invertebrate says:

    Dave is a spineless weakling, he should’ve tackled the biased BBC head on first with all the damning evidence against them and then the boundary changes. But he’s fucked all that up now, Dave’s only option is to let Scotchland go.

  86. 86
    Nothing between then except the colour of their suitings says:

    A true Coalition of the Shilling

  87. 87
    Fish says:

    God. All of the turds are back from holiday.

    So far this week we’ve been subjected to Oakshit, Yeo, Harm-men and now Greasy Vaz. Has there ever been such a parade of low life in Parliament?

    Everyone, leave the country before it’s too late.

  88. 88
    Place your bets says:

    Political will vs Economic reality.

    Who will win?

  89. 89
    Scotch Bonnet says:

    Could not believe that BBC Scotland last night had newsreader Jackie Bird reporting on the police questioning of her former husband and Screws Editor, Bob Bird.

  90. 90
    Things that make me LOL says:

    Commons ethics & standards committee

    Chairman Keith Vaz

    L-O-fucking-L !!!!!!

  91. 91

    How is this Hunt still in a position of responsibility

    Fucking troughing lying bastard

  92. 92
    ToonBob... says:

    Vaz -eline anyone?

  93. 93
    Shima says:

    There’s no need to be rude

  94. 94
    The Scottish Mafia says:

    The talent pool is very shallow and we aren’t going to let anybody else paddle in it

  95. 95
    Soapsuds and bubbles says:

    Do go and read Hatfield Girl’s blog today. Might open your eyes to what is really going on.

  96. 96
    Anonymous says:

    plus Graham’s number.

  97. 97
    English Liberation Front says:

    It was going ok until the last seven words. Besides I think you will find there is more to it than that.

  98. 98
    Vazoline says:

    I have no shame and am a person of th utmost integrity. I am here to promote myself my daughter and my dear close friends, Sarosh Zaiwalla, the Hinduja brothers, Ali Dizaei, Baronness Init Uddin. I deserve and am expecting a knightood or elevation to the House of Lords.

  99. 99
    Soapsuds and bubbles says:

    As Vaz is an immigrant, does he not have his own visa coming up for renewal any time soon?

  100. 100
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Keith Vaz: The next honest quid he makes will also be the first one as well, I shouldn’t doubt! His whole life has been one “Vaz-t” array of just plain general dodginess, hasn’t it?

  101. 101
    The invertebrate in number 10 says:

    Now I’m back from the hols I’ll be doing some seriously tough talking. We’ll have immigration down to the “tens of thousands”……….soon.

  102. 102
    THe Greased Weasel says:

    When I click my podgy little fingers, you will not remember any number between 1997 and 2010.

  103. 103
    Baby Adolph says:

    Don’t bother. After this Weimar Republic has collapsed, we’ll solve the problem by our tried and tested methods for dealing with undesirables.

  104. 104
    Gonk says:


  105. 105
    An MP says:

    Most of think he’s an affected slimy character.

  106. 106
    Trahison des Clercs says:

    Constipated,Errr? Not!!!?

  107. 107
    Norman Stanley Fletcher says:

    There’s only one way to find out. Fight!!!

  108. 108
    Not a BBC official spokesperson says:

    Of course not, we’re busy supporting O’bama and trashing his opponents!

    Thank you for your money.

  109. 109
    Mystic Meg says:
  110. 110
  111. 111
    What have the Romans ever done for us says:

    Yes yes, but apart from all that hes not a bad egg in fact lets make him chairman of the parliamentary ethics committee.

  112. 112
    Andrew says:

    Not a Muslim; a Catholic of Goan origin. But the first MP to call for the Satanic Verses to be banned – and therefore a Grade A Arsehole who has only got worse in the 22 years since then.

  113. 113
    SaltPetre says:

    You are confusing sexual attraction with gravity. Pickles has his own gravitational field, but this doesn’t help him get a shag.

  114. 114
    Knave to all says:

    It is clear from the comments that the man is SO loved by all.

  115. 115
    Libby Rees-Ayed says:

    Can anyone who calls for the Koran to be banned be all bad ?

  116. 116
    Check out dem fookin sideburns says:


  117. 117
    Archie says:

    Vat of ghee?

  118. 118
    Procrustes says:

    London Met have had six months to sort this problem out.

    Is the Border Agency staffed by Eton toffs? I thought New LAbour passed 90% of the legislation around thsi subject?

    Do keep up.

  119. 119
    Anonymous says:

    All immigrant visas expire on the last day of the liblabcon regime.

  120. 120
  121. 121
    We're all No Friends of Vazoline says:

    He’s only his self-serving self to blame. An obnxious character.

  122. 122
    klarcsun says:

    No it isn’t.

    and it is perfectly clear who writes this stuff.

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