August 23rd, 2012

Labour Wonks v Page 3 Girls

Labour wonk-shop IPPR have declared war on the Sun‘s Page 3 girls as they publish a report claiming that the government’s bleeding of motorists via high fuel taxes is just a “myth“. Earlier this week the Sun girls jumped on board the Taxpayers’ Alliance campaign to freeze fuel duty by showing their support at petrol stations up and down the country. Now IPPR has hit back, laughably arguing that the Chancellor “should make every effort to avoid further delays in fuel duty increases“. Will’s argument is unconvincing and not likely to be taken up by the Labour Party. “Vote Labour for higher petrol taxes” is a CCHQ dream slogan…


  1. 1
    Ed Bollocks says:


  2. 2
    Gordon Brown says:

    i would love to swap my ears for a big pair of tits

  3. 3
    Tachybaptus says:

    Ah don’t kayuh what the people thiyunk,
    Ah’m gonna put a tigah in yuh tayunk.

  4. 4
    Les says:

    Big Tits v Bigger Tits

  5. 5
    the defenestrator says:

    You did, and you called them both Ed

  6. 6
    Kempston Interface says:

    What a wonker.

    It’s easy for elitists like Will Straw with his wealthy dad to call for hikes in the price of petrol but ordinary folk can’t take much more.

    99% of Britain would like to cop a feel rather than clutch at Straw.

  7. 7
    Really? says:

    There was a time when the Labour party used to represent the poor and tried to make their lives better, not worse. These days of course, they could not care less and it shows.

  8. 8
    AC1 says:

    Bureaucrats know how to spend money far better than the people who’s only input was to earn it.

  9. 9
    Boring lawyer says:

    Two tits on the right, but only one tit on the left?

  10. 10
    Boring lawyer says:

    Two tits on the right and only one tit on the left?

  11. 11
    Car commuter with no alternative transport says:

    I wonder how many of these wonkers commute to work by car?

  12. 12
    Jimmy says:

    So the Taxdodgers believe the deficit’s not high enough.

    They’re quite special really.

  13. 13
    Selohesra says:

    Normally page 3 girls show their lack of support.

  14. 14
    HH says:

    Petrol being burned on the way to a meeting to design a wind turbine is not the same a a fat mother driving to pick up the fat kids

  15. 15
    Ed Moribund says:

    A level and GCSE standards have fallen.

    This government has damaged teacher’s morale that they have failed the children.
    I feel my ‘judge-led’ catchphrase should be given another media outing.

  16. 16
    smoggie says:

    Once again Labour attack the Working Man by increasing the tax on his favourtite tipple.

  17. 17
    smoggie says:

    Yep, increasing the cost of fuel will really kickstart the economy.

  18. 18
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    I’d love to stick my nozzle in her tank ;-)

  19. 19
    NickGriffin says:

    It’s a trait that runs in their family i.e. to let others take the strain whilst the rest of nation are enduring economic austerity….during wartime or otherwise

  20. 20
    I don't know will Straw says:

    Will Straw is a bore

  21. 21

    That’s because their bandwagon runs on Union subsidies.

    As far as this cretin’s opinion is concerned – DILLIGAF?

  22. 22
    Anonymous says:

    Just a shame people wont campaign against all the other taxes.

    Is there anything that is NOT taxed in this country ?

  23. 23
    Anon says:

    + 100
    I would laugh it wasn’t so sad but true.

  24. 24

    Don’t bill me for that one – you already did it, and Legal Aid won’t cover repeats!

  25. 25
    SP4BS says:

    cold pasties?

  26. 26
    smoggie says:

    If you leave the people with too much pocket money they’ll only waste it on sweeties.

  27. 27
    Aunty Matter says:

    It shows that we basically have three sets of fucking useless politicians. The Tories and Limp Dems are useless but Labour are outright dangerous and not fit to breath, never mind run a Country.

  28. 28
    Never forget the slugs of Blairs government says:

    Send him for rendition. Dad won’t know.

  29. 29
    qwerty says:

    No one takes the “Wank Stain Alliance” seriously.

    A cabal of floppy haired spanners spouting sh1te.

  30. 30
    Mike Hunt says:

    But over 40% of people said they would vote them back in to do it all over again.


  31. 31
    Like father, like son says:

    Runs, nay gallops in the family.

  32. 32

    But they can all use trains and busses – transport for the good, honest working man, at good value for money as well!

  33. 33
    smoggie says:

    Wet farts

  34. 34
    Labour are morally bankrupt says:

    Labour taking on The Sun’s tit puppets and losing. Pathetic.

  35. 35
    rocknrolla says:

    I guarantee that a disproportionately large number of Labour supporters and Guardian readers have never got laid once in their life (and they wet the bed too). They then become feminists and bitterly try to shut down anyone else having fun. And they are relentless and will go through anything great or traditional and try to ruin it. Remember this:–case-offend-women-Muslims.html

    They’re so upset at the thought anyone else might like a big pair of tits. Guardian readers are such useless petty bastards.

  36. 36
    edward balls says:

    99% of the population want higher fuel duty and when I am chancellor I will introduce this poplular measure

  37. 37

    And they both work like Ryanair – no luggage or shopping, don’t go anywhere near your final destination and you’d better not be wheelchair confined, mate, ‘cos you’ll be double Gordon’d.

  38. 38
    taxpayer says:

    I do. And you will too when you grow up and get a job.

  39. 39
    Les says:

    Oi monkey, I’d love to spend more money on petrol but unfortunately I’m too busy spending my dole money in the Bookies.

  40. 40
    Tony Blair, war criminal and millionaire says:

    I care greatly. They can carry Cherie’s shopping for her and they can clean our mansions.

  41. 41
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    If that young lady wishes to “fill it up” for me, I will be glad to return the favour, in a manner of spe*aking you understand…

  42. 42
    qwerty says:

    Not much of an argument

    Litre of petrol pre election May 2010 = £1.05.

    Litre of petrol today, 2 years into a Tory led gov = £1.42

  43. 43

    Shagging in Las Vegas hotels?

  44. 44
    Cyril Smith (Fat Cunt) ret'd says:

    Jack Straw took over where I left off. Me mum said them Asians down t street will make you nice new slippers if you let em build t mosque on t bowling green.

  45. 45
    taxpayer says:

    That’s correct…because everything we buy includes the cost of transportation somewhere in the supply chain. Higher petrol and diesel prices therefore mean higher prices for everything – increased inflation in other words, like when oil prices quadrupled in 73 and pluged the west into recession. Great thinking by this Labour Think Tank, not. No wonder socialists don’t like their minions to think.

    This is exactly what we want.

  46. 46

    53% of the population of the UK still believe in sky fairies, with no, zero, none, nada, nil evidence that there is any such thing, or would even be desirable.
    And amongst a significant proportion of the mozzy hand holders, I would be decapitated for saying that – doncha just love the 21st century – soooo 3rd century, but with Nike trainers.

    Go figure.

  47. 47
    smoggie says:

    It was quite taxing for the lad as there were several nubiles to get through.

  48. 48
    Mrs Smith says:

    I think Will has been smoking what he was caught supplying again.

    Try being rural English folk in this country Will – do you and your war criminal father actually know any normal rural English people?

    Its like you and the Labour Party are at war with us – we are not landed gentry toffs – we are rural working class English and Labour has not only abandoned us, it is openly hostile to us, our heritage, culture, values and way of life.

    Try living where there is no Oyster Card public transport Will – try living where the bus service is not a service, it is an expensive infrequent favour.

  49. 49
    A Gippo says:

    Feck orf oi lives in moi caravan, and my fly tippin business is boomin

  50. 50
    smoggie says:

    Oh aye, I forgot about the wind powered trains and solar powered night buses.

  51. 51

    Qwerty – as I used to say to your dear friend and, probably, life partner Nonnymouse – do fuck off you silly little Spart.

  52. 52
    The Average "Progressive" Elitist says:

    Sweets should be banned, or at the very least heavily taxed and regulated. It is outrageous that people have enough spare money to buy such items, instead of giving it all to the government, to manage sensibly on their behalf.

  53. 53
    smoggie says:

    Wahay.. tits out for the gas guzzlers !! :)

  54. 54
    annette curton says:

    Who is Will’s ?, does he work for Exxon.

  55. 55
    D Hydration says:

    Litre of blood from a pensioner or disabled person…. Sucked out by the state courtesy of a French company… Obligatory.

  56. 56
    Will Straw says:

    Marijuana ?

  57. 57
    Really? says:

    Err, yes it is actually. In fact, the mum runners probably produce less pollution than the useless wind turbine will.

  58. 58

    Illiterate, as well as a Silly Spart – May 2010 – average UK petrol price £1.28.6

    Oil per barrel: May 2010 – $74 May 2012 – $107.5

    Do the maths – not LieBores strongest skill, as they shoo’d in Gordmong three “c”‘s as PM after being Chancellor.

    We really don’t need lessons on the cost of failure from twats like you.

  59. 59
    annette curton says:


  60. 60
    taxpayer says:

    And you think it’s a good idea to increase it further? You’re not right in the head.

  61. 61

    lliterate, as well as a Silly Spart – May 2010 – average UK petrol price £1.28.6

    Oil per barrel: May 2010 – $74 May 2012 – $107.5

    Do the maths – not LieBores strongest skill, as they shoo’d in Gordmong three “c”‘s as PM after being Chancellor.

    We really don’t need lessons on the cost of failure from twats like you.

  62. 62
    The BBC says:

    Give us the word and the line to take and we’ll go big on this for you Ed.

  63. 63
    taxpayer says:

    Sounds like another Globalisation and Climate Change Scam from the left think tank.

  64. 64
    Mars Responds says:

    Whats a spart you hunt?

  65. 65
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    Why am I thinking of the Monty Python ‘nudge, nudge, wink, wink’ sketch – with rocknrolla in the Eric Idle role?

  66. 66
    Raving Loon says:

    Why don’t we just abolish fuel duty and cover the lost government revenue by not paying for India’s space program, and generally giving money to feckless foreign countries.

  67. 67
    Really? says:

    Grandpa Straw also hated this country and refused to fight against the Nazis. It’s hard to imagine a more ghastly bunch, though the Benn’s and Miliband’s run them close.

  68. 68
    Up Uranus says:

    Private Eye’s Dave Spart the ultra-left wing activist, always representing a ridiculous-sounding union (such as the National Amalgamated Union of Sixth-Form Operatives and Allied Trades), collective or magazine, which is frequently based in Neasden. Spart’s views attempt to highlight alleged misconduct, prejudice or general wrongdoing, but often end up being contradictory and illogical.

  69. 69
    Aunty Matter says:

    Well said

  70. 70
    Really? says:

    Labour built a client based society, as all marxist parties do. Vote for us or you’ll lose your job, house, benefits, free shite and healthcare. It’s basic, it’s toxic, it’s crude, but it works.

  71. 71
    Chavina Tacky says:

    cheap n tacky. I wish the likes of prince harry and silly bints would keep their bits and pieces to themselves and not in my face. It is just tacky.

  72. 72
    Aunty Matter says:

    Some twat from the BBC was monging on about climate change again today.

    These BBC articles are always full of words like may, possibly, might, predicted etc.

    They’re not serious science articles but just lefty bollocks.

  73. 73
    annette curton says:

    Loved it when Gordon went on that trip to opec in his then usual extreme megalomaniac days and demanded a reduction in the price of oil (to save the world), somewhat deflated shortly afterwards when the rag heads pointed out that 70% of the cost of fuel in the UK is due to our taxation.

  74. 74

    Jimmy, is avoiding taxes any worse than making a high salaried, expenses paid living from taxes that ARE paid? Many of your Labour friends have become millionaires courtesy of the hard working taxpayer – the Kinnock family, Fatty Prescott, The appalling Balls duo, the Miliband family, the list goes on. Not ONE of this bunch of misfits has earned their riches by putting their own money on the line in business enterprises and hard work.

    Are you surprised some business people, witnessing these parasites getting rich by sucking the taxpayer tit, make efforts to legally minimise their tax liabilities.

  75. 75
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    I do agree with everything you say about Straw Minor, but you should not forget that the main reason for the loss of rural bus services was the abolition of the stage licence system by Maggie in the 80s. Once unfettered competition came in then, naturally, companies only wanted to run profitable services in heavily populated areas. Not an argument for or against – just a fact. May be worth bearing in mind the risk of similar effects if postal deliveries are opened up without safeguards.

  76. 76
    Phil says:

    I’ve got a better idea namely compulsory lobotomys for all think tank wonks.
    It would cut the public sector in half, put the green lobby out to grass, destroy the HSE and inevitably bring anti business regulatory tinkering to a grinding halt. Job done.

  77. 77
    Jack Dromey says:

    So many good pictures of Harriet there!

  78. 78

    Another socialist who is dependent on the magic money tree to solve societies ills. The stage licence was simply not economically viable as it did not produce a consumer-oriented service and could not compete against the rise of mum’s wheels as the Country became prosperous after recovering from 20 years of Heath/Wilson mis-government. cheer up. because there is every chance that a Labour government in 2015-2020 will so impoverish the Nation that there will be enough rural unemployed to revitalise collective transport once more.

  79. 79
    Diva D Diaz says:

    Wa! Wa! Wa! Unfortunately she kept her top on.

  80. 80

    Your envy is marked.

  81. 81
    Jimmy says:

    I’ve no problem with those in high office being properly paid.

    I agree there are too few politicians with real world experience. I don’t think the problem is confined to any one party.

  82. 82
    Diva D Diaz says:

    Correct. Why should people buy Priuses when Carbon Dioxide is released in the manufacture of them?

  83. 83
    roger federer says:

    Is that Will Straw? His grandfather was a Nazi sympathiser and did prison time for it. HIs dad was a CND activist who butchered hundreds of thousands when he was foreign secretary – and then amusingly got thrown back to the backbenches for making a sexual advance on Condoleeza Rice – he should be so lucky! Lovely heritage there Will. Shame you’re just a 2-bit lowlife drug dealer.

    If they’d have just shot Grandad Straw for treason, it would have killed 3 birds with one stone.

  84. 84
    Diva D Diaz says:

    How many believe in Global Warming, oops!, Climate Change?

  85. 85

    It’s called faith. Add to them the number of Greenies who believe in CAGW despite an almost complete lack of proof to support their gospel that Gaia is over-heating.

  86. 86

    The word you were searching for is, “innumerate”. With it’s fellow,”illiterate”. Innumeracy and illiteracy are the Core Socialist Values for Labour’s state education policy.

  87. 87
    roger federer says:

    Miliband senior was given asylum in this country then he turned against us. His whole life he tried to destroy the country whilst we paid him. If we’d have shot Ralf Miliband and shot Grandad Straw, we wouldn’t be suffering with their vile progeny.

  88. 88
    feel good... says:

    Official: QE is making the rich richer

    The Bank of England has admitted that Britain’s richest 5 per cent have been the biggest winners from quantitative easing – attempts to end the recession by creating electronic money. But the Bank has defended its policy, saying it has prevented our economic woes worsening still further.

  89. 89
    Jimmy says:

    “They’re so upset at the thought anyone else might like a big pair of tits.”

    Only if you vote for them.

  90. 90
    Freddie Mercury says:

    Word for word from Wikipedia with no attribution. Fareed Zakaria and Johann Hari would be so proud of you, Up Uranus.

  91. 91
    patex says:

    I thought all on the left were tits.

  92. 92
    JadedJean says:

    Totally agree.

    Just what if their kind weren’t actually persecuted in the former half of the last century for simply being an ethnic minority, but were in fact censured for their predatory economic activities that disadvanteged the populations that they lived amongst. Think of what the likes of Madoff, Blankfein, Soros, Bernanke, Summers, Geithner, Greenspan etc etc have perpertrated in the the so called “Anglo-Saxon” countries of late in terms of economic and political turmoil.

  93. 93
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    grumpyoldmanuk; try commenting on something you know about. When this change was made my family’s coach firm stopped running rural services in the west as they lost money. No problem for us (apart from having to sell a few old buses) but the villages affected did have problems. The elderly were especially affected and the predominantly Tory councillors were outraged. Complete hypocrisy. I was not arguing for the system, just pointing out to Mrs Smith that Maggie was the cause of there being no public transport in villages – which you seem to acknowledge.

  94. 94
    JH says:

    “Will Straw”.

    A little piece of fuck all, the offspring of some cvnt who has a direct hand in the death of innocent thousands in an unnecessary war, in stark relief to the conscientious objection antics of his father who found the concept of putting his own skin on the line in the name of ‘freedom’ a little too much to stomach, the conchie coward.

    The Straws are, as a family, not worth saving. What does it say about our country that insidious weasels like this get to occupy and influence public office?

  95. 95
    Anonymous says:

    The Sun and the TPA: what a bunch of wankers.

  96. 96
    Anonymous says:

    Gee, really funny and original.

  97. 97
    MacGuffin says:

    My goodness Will Straw is quite the handsome young man. I want to see him playing Naked Billiards.

  98. 98

    Sorry big G – I was frothing at the brain, due to Sparty Q’s stupid post that I went all, well, illiterate about innumarate.

    Mea culpa.

  99. 99
    Slippery Slope says:

    Because you’re a brainwashed Guardian reader?

  100. 100
    Anon. says:

    Dear oh dear Tristram, don’t say your parents were capitalists who ran a business and owned property?

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