July 31st, 2012

Vince Spending More Money on Spin

Business Secretary and obvious shoo-in for the next LibDem leader Vince Cable is on the lookout for a new spinner. His department is advertising for new comms man and are offering a generous £80,000 per year to the successful candidate. Apparently “personal credibility, political nous and sound judgement will be essential“. Someone should tell Vince…


  1. 1
    Kebab Time says:

    The bloke is bonkers.


    • 3
      Good for business Eh? says:

      Olympics ‘hits London retailers as shoppers stay away’



      • 6
        Fuck the bbc says:

        London is empty – euston a morgue today – all beeboid scaremongering has worked


        • 9
          Track and Field says:

          When does the running and spear chucking start?


          • V1le Labour ruined my Country says:

            Vince is dangerous because he has delusions of competency when everyone knows he’s just an over promoted school teacher. I’m disappointed that no-one has found his secret off-shore assets yet!


          • Paul Newsnight Mason says:

            Nowt wrong with over-promoted teachers.


          • Only 12 days 05 hours 14 minutes until the Olympics are over! Yay! says:

            In LimpDim circles, Vince is a man-God. They will say (sotto voce) “He used to work in the private sector, you know. Yes! Yes! He has business experience!

            For Shell. For about 18 months. Nearly 20 years ago (at the same time Shell was having ‘undesirables’ ‘liquidated’).

            The rest of his illustrious 46 year career has been spent farting about doing sod-all in politics, alongside all the other muppets..


          • Tachybaptus says:

            He’s looking for ‘personal credibility, political nous and sound judgement’ because he doesn’t have any of these himself and wants to borrow them.


          • Vince says:

            I believe I am a Prophet.

            And a true prophet is never honored in his own homeland

            Ergo – I AM a prophet.


          • Gooey Blob says:

            I seem to recall Menzies Campbell was an “obvious shoo-in” for leader, but once in the job he turned out to be a bit too old for it. The Lib Dems won’t want a repeat with Vince Cable.


          • Bluebird says:

            When I’m not sure but where I’d guess probably Tottenham.


          • Jack says:

            Bluebirds is Dragons! Suck it up, Taffies


      • 13
        Promises Promises says:

        But this can not be true. Ever since the London bid was won All those in the know said the games would be good for London and even Britain. Though I can’t see how having a supermarket open at 7 on a Sunday night, full of staff and no customers is good for business.


        • 18
          Sebby says:

          This is why we arranged for the 24hour 7 day opening of everything across the nation. It’s to compensate for the poor trading that we really expected in the London area.


          • Deserted Oxford Street. says:

            Front Row have just reported that the West End is having its worst year as are most London tourist attractions because Locog held all the hotel rooms back.


        • 104
          Marion the cat says:

          People can only eat so much and buy so many odds and ends. If the shop/Supermarket is shut at the god-awful time they want something they would have come back later – just like the normal public. No more will be sold by being open more hours – this is FACT.


          • Solar Day says:

            I used to like Sundays when there was nothing to so except go down the pub for Sunday lunch and a dinner time sesh.


    • 8
      Money to Burn says:

      But why is the government paying him so much when the other jobs have pay varying from £20 k to £45 k



      • 250
        Laughing Out Loud says:

        How much will (s)he be expected to contribute to LibDem funds? There’s an election coming, and the public will have to pay for it.


    • 11
      Takes one to know one says:



    • 14
      Incapable Vince says:

      The successful candidate will also need to watch what I do with sensitive personal information.



  2. 2
    Mitt Romney says:

    Having met with B*lly B*wden for a cold beer yesterday evening,he is best qualified for this vacancy.
    B*lly’s CV is outstanding !


  3. 4
    Fuck the bbc says:

    Speaking to someone at business department – apparently old vince struggles to make his mind up – changes his mind weekly


  4. 10
    Pieman says:

    You only have to read Cable’s wikipedia entry to see he can’t make his mind up



  5. 12
    Backwoodsman says:

    If you had to nominate the most ghastly limpdim, it really would be a straight fight between the spectacular sleazy repulsiveness of simon hughes and the stupid old marxist tosser vince.
    I suppose its a points decision for vince, because he’s currently in a position where he manages to do more damage than hughes.


  6. 16
    Libdim Ropedick says:

    Me ! Me ! ME !! MEEE !!!!


    • 133
      Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

      Sorry Limpdick, I am the obvious candidate, with all the right connections. Boaz.


  7. 17
    Anonymuos says:

    How is the innie majora


    • 50
      David Bellendamy says:

      V. sexy


      • 53
        Anonymuos says:



        • 56
          Cutie says:

          How big’s your tongue?


          • The *real* Anonymuos says:

            U already knows that, darlin ♥♥x♥x♥x ♥♥…

            An I loves ur innie



          • Cutie says:

            *reclines lazily, arching her back slightly and looking for something to idly flick*


          • The *real* Anonymuos says:

            Jus bin for a quick swim in the pool. 28° water temperature still. Look 4 E-male when you feels like it , hun xx .

            TrA xx .


          • The *real* Anonymuos says:

            *wipes knob on curtains* is one of mine. I read 15 years ago that rich Arabs, staying in posh hotels, can’t like toilet paper because they use the curtains instead. It was so gross that it stuck in my mind and I recycled it into current form. Course there may be plenty of others who thought up the same thing… ♥


          • Cutie says:

            Yeah. Nothin’s that new. I go there in a few mins. *probes gently, enjoyin the sensation* : P ♥♥


          • The *real* Anonymuos says:

            You gorgeous flaky thing! @ 7:10pm you say a couple of minutes and here we is, ¾ hour later and…

            Good thing our understanding goes beyond the here and now , babes ♥♥ .


          • Cutie says:

            Sorry, babes. Sidetracked by real life. Nice though : )


  8. 22
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    The successful candidate will also need to remind Mr. Cable that tax isn’t just for ‘little people’.



    • 29
      Cable is a liar and a cheat says:

      Its not just the way he avoided his taxes which stinks, but the way he was given the benefit of discretion as to the size of the penalty – a discretion which HMRC even now swears blind in proceedigs against other taxpayers does not exist.


  9. 27
    Joss Taskin says:

    How can you humiliate people who are already non-entities ??


  10. 28
    Saladista says:

    Vince Cable is looking pretty porky in that photo.


    • 88
      u should have gone to spec savers says:



      • 151
        Hugh Janus says:

        Note the final para in the ad:

        “BIS’s mission is to build a dynamic and competitive economy by creating the conditions for business success, promoting innovation, enterprise and science and giving everyone the skills and opportunities to succeed.”

        To think that the bumbling old duffer is in charge of a department that (allegedly) does all these wonderful things….it’s enough to make a cat laugh.


  11. 30
    Moussa Koussa says:

    Dave and Co – More SpAds than Brown. Guido you must be so disappointed


  12. 33
    SaltPetre says:

    There is no fool like an old fool.


  13. 36
    nellnewman says:

    vince as next libdem leader ++++Laugh++++ He has completely lost all credibility since he’s been a minister in the coalition. Lord I think his understanding of sound economics is even more dire than brown and balls.

    So it would be very fitting for him to take over the libdems when they finally hit rock bottom. No libdem with any political ambition is going to want the job.


  14. 37
    Moussa Koussa says:

    Incomes falling
    House prices nose diving
    Shops empty
    Growth falling
    Diesel prices rising
    Boris inviting Scum hole to Olympics
    Tory councils on the fiddle
    Tory MP’s each still taking 56 overpaid jobs outside of parliamentary work
    More SpAds
    More Cuts
    Debt not falling
    Cabinet of planks
    Most of Dave’s mates on bail

    Not going very well – is it.


  15. 38
    ed martin says:

    you quote: “personal credibility, political nous and sound judgement will be essential“

    why should the new con man be so at odds with all the other politicos?


    • 144
      Hugh Janus says:

      “…personal credibility, political nous and sound judgement will be essential“.

      Blimey, try imposing these requirements on MPs and the H of C will look like the Marie Celeste.


  16. 39
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m going for gold! No, wait, that can’t be right.


  17. 41
    How the Olympics ceremony would have looked if right wingers had done it says:


  18. 47
    Anonymous says:

    Who cares about 30% unemployment in Spain and Greece as long as the Euro political elite can continue to draw their very large salaries and expenses and it saves the EU dream and the Euro?

    Unemployment is a price worth paying. Just ask Vince, Nick and the other Libdem loonies. If they were in control that unemployment figure would be here too! We would have the Euro too and bankrupt!


  19. 60
    J. Vincent Cable MP says:

    To all those who mock me, and think I’m an old fart who should get out, this is what I say to you, and I don’t need no stinkin’ spinmeister to do it:


  20. 67
    Sharks Fin Soup says:

    So what herbal medicine has that Chink swimmer been on.


  21. 70
    Davey Jonah says:

    The Daily Mail says Dave’s a Jinx.


  22. 71
    Fiebol Electronics says:

    All Vince has to do is copy our business model. We scam, we do fraud, we make money for nothing. That’s because you pay and get nothing.
    Get ready for our next website to go live.


  23. 72
    ToonBob... says:

    Giz a job yer daft titheed !!


  24. 73
    Aunty Matter says:

    After putting up with the socialist love fest that was the Olympic opening ceremony isn’t it great that team GB is doing so badly? Sort of shutting up the meeja quite a bit now.

    I’m a happy bunny.


    • 131
      Well paid O£ympic Official - creaming off the best says:

      That’s OK – we – the Officials – got what we want – kudos, nice little earners, PC bullshit Honours, all sorts of fancy titles – and the chance of lots more nice little earners in QUANGOs – no ‘Dave’ never burnt them, – he’s added to them – hahahahahahahah!


  25. 75
    jgm2 says:

    Violent Labour thug thinks the law doesn’t apply to him shocker…



    • 78
      Eric Joycedick says:

      The law shouldn’t apply to Libor MPs.


    • 80
      The Paragnostic says:

      The excuse that a tag would have made it difficult to row is utter bollocks. What is surprising is that Joyce seemingly knows how to row – surely that is an elitist sport unsuitable for comrades?


      • 82
        jgm2 says:

        Joyce played the game in the army for long enough to acquire the affectations of the officer class. A bit like Prescott and his croquet affectation. It seems it was only when he couldn’t advance beyond the rank of major that he decided it was all due to class oppression and wouldn’t entertain the possibility that it was because they realised he was a chippy, dr*unk*en, violent liability.

        How wrong were they eh?


    • 84
      Old Tory Bigot says:

      What an utterly obnoxious pig of a man.

      A violent scunner who thinks that tags are only for little people.

      What a vile excuse for a man.


    • 89
      Labour 25 says:

      Typical Labour politico.


  26. 83

    The latest new Eco buzzword for what we used to call “mines” is now “Earth Scars”.
    Pay attention BBC.



  27. 119
    CMD aka The True Heir to Bliar who as The Master I totally worship 24/7 says:

    Hallo Peasants I thought you would pleased to know I have achieved one of mid term goals of driving your disposable income’s down to 2003 levels !!

    This takes a real cranial defect, on my part but I will continue along this path without deviation & with my level of incompetence & arrogance along with being totally detached as to what is really happening in your world, which I could not care about, I will achieve my goal.

    I just know you will want to heap all sorts of praise’s for my success, in heading in this direction back to the ’90’s for your disposable income,
    btw thats the 1890’s !!.

    This will not only keep inflation at bay but will make UK Plc much much more profitable for the 1% than its even been for the last 100 years or more.

    Even the BBC has taken the enlightened step of publishing my achievement on there web site.

    OK now get back to work you ungrateful filthy urchins.!!!



    • 120
      UKIP Ever Increasing Membership Spokesperson says:

      Even more reasons to VOTE for real change

      VOTE UKIP ……………………………………………………………….

      To rid this country for ever of this never ending fcuking curse thats is called

      “ConsLieLaborLibDems Blood Brothers Alliance”



    • 122
      Great British Public says:

      Oh, how we all yearn for those heady, balmy days when Libor ‘ran’ the Country during The Reign of Terror 1997-2010 ! The banks all on the verge of collapsing, the economy built on debt, debt and more debt which we would never have to repay – just leave it to our kids to sort out.

      We’ve even noticed that the weather has deteriorated – obviously caused by those nasty Tory baby-eaters. Bring back Brown, Balls and Milibandwagon ! We can hardly wait.


      • 127
        John of Hull and Damnation says:

        Them was good days them was and me wiv no A levorls done bugger all but got praise for sticking it up fer Tony he made Prime Deputy Minister coz I bluddy deserved it ask anyone and Neil he was a bluddy good one I can tell yer and the pies and patsys were buddy good to and I’ll tell yerwhat I’m ungry I aint ‘ad nuffin fer 2 hours and where’s the bluddy Domino pizza delivery late again i like that girl wot knock on the door knocks geddit phwooooaaarrrr!


    • 126
      The Libor party says:

      ‘ONS have today confirmed that the population growth caused by Labour’s uncontrolled immigration has reduced incomes. This Government is reforming all routes of entry so we can bring net migration back down to sustainable levels in the tens of thousands. Labour have opposed all our reforms and Ed Miliband still refuses to admit that immigration was too high when he was in government.’


      • 128
        The Tit in No 10 says:

        One has to say that you can dashed well rely on an Eton man – I don’t mess! Watt? Whatage???


      • 159
        albacore says:

        The Spectator: “ministers will rightly want to steer clear of any statements that suggest they are pointing fingers at immigrants for ‘stealing our disposable incomes’.”
        Well, if Dave had cut down immigration
        There’d be no need for such hesitation
        No wonder the cabinet’s keeping shtum
        They’ve let everyone and his camel come
        As for managing the economy
        They must be trusting to astrology


  28. 121
    Ramadamadingdong says:

    For those who missed it first time:

    Muslim Burial Scandal

    Read all about it:



  29. 124
    80,000 smakers - and cheep at the price says:

    what things could THAT canary sing


  30. 130
    Chav brigade says:

    Channel 4 is currently showing a documentary about Labour voters.

    Secrets of the Shoplifters.


  31. 137
    We must be mad, literally mad as a nation says:

    Danny Boyle can take his opening ceremony and stick it up his arse!


  32. 145
    not a machine says:

    Quite an achievement for Mr Phelps although gymnast that held record before him looked rather special , and Mary King on her 5th olympics and still managed to come 4th , and Irish lady Aoini should have had a good chance but those german clean rounds just got it , oh well , good effort though .

    Treasury now has important questions to answer ?? I was wondering if most people werent glad of the brief political respite ….. although I am looking forward to Thursday 2nd of August , a day that will go down in History , assuming that is someone asks the question about the ecnomic differentials and how they are to be funded to reduce inhereant deficets …….ooooppps

    Vince needs a zimmer .


    • 160
      Do Ping says:

      There is something velly disturbing about Mr Phelps winning all those medals. It is almost unbelievable that he did so without dlugs.


    • 167
      Aunty Matter says:

      Just how many events do swimmers need? Why don’t they do the 100,200 and 400 metres running backwards as well or hopping?


      • 207
        the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

        100meters water hopping sounds like an event, 3 feet water foot must touch the floor


  33. 146
    Dave you really are hopeless and Useless says:

    “personal credibility, political nous and sound judgement will be essential“. Why doesn’t Vince speak to his boy Mark Prisk MP? He has all those qualities


  34. 147
    Whoussa Loussa says:

    Incomes falling
    House prices div –

    Bother, I’ve already forwarded this one.


  35. 149
    Let's Build 17,000 houses in East Herts for north London immigrants requiring proper housing says:



  36. 150
    Saffron says:

    Danny Boil – A Liebour tosser.
    The Games – How to get rid of cash we have not got.
    The opening gig,a load of multicultural shite.
    How many non british people do we now have in this country?,does anyone know.
    I have watched border control,what a complete and utter farce,this country is leaking like a sieve and immigrants are pouring in.
    Why is this?.
    Would welcome comments on this please,but not from the leftwing bedwetters,they can stick their comments were the sun don’t shine.


    • 154
      CMD,All Smoke & Mirrors,the UK Master of Manipulation & Mendacity says:

      I fully intend to make this country the most over populated little island on this planet,

      with the biggest deficit ever that can never be repaid…….

      then bounce whats left of the country into full monetary & political union in EUSSR

      with The Master, St.Toxic Tony as the President of EUSSR ………

      What more could I do for my Country ??????


  37. 152
    Anonymous says:

    So f*cking what if the Palestinians are upset by Romney saying Israel’s economic progress has been a matter of culture. It’s bleedin obvious!


  38. 156
    Heart of the Matter says:

    File on 4 tonight reported.

    TB was totally eradicated from Britain

    Immigration from the Indian sub continent has re-introduced it.

    Young white woman who has lived in England all her life has had her left lung surgically removed all because she lives in a London immigration hot spot.


    • 162
      UKIP.i.am says:

      And there’s a whooping cough outbreak and thanks to the French we now have a Legionnaires outbreak. Sacre bleu!


      • 172
        the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

        I mean how hard would it be to invade France ?


        • 180
          Hard Cash says:

          E Z P Z but think about the consequences. It is far far better that Germany supports them and not us.It’s costly enough supporting the scotch FFS.


    • 166
      Aunty Matter says:

      The beauty of multiculturalism, perhaps Danny Boyle can put it in the closing ceremony of the fucking Olympics?


      • 170
        Censorship. says:

        Not sure Danny would use a 23 year old white woman who had to have a lung removed because her NHS immigrant doctor could not diagnose TB even though she lived in a London immigration TB hotspot


    • 177
      Anonymous says:

      We have been exposed to TB from immigrants, legal and illegal, particularly young adults, coming from anywhere in south Asia, sub-saharan Africa and even eastern Europe (notably, Romania) for decades.


  39. 161
    Beeboid One says:

    Shhhhhh it took us months to obscure the real root cause of the UK’s new outbreak of TB; as the word immigration and immigrant is still taboo, and must not be spoken of.
    We are now working with the newly formed Metropolitan thought police to enforce a black (whoops! off-white) book of banned words.


  40. 163
  41. 168

    For all who loved Lynyrd Skyntrd in their prime (I went to see them three times including one centre front row time), and who loved Sweet Home Alabama, I bring you this. The Leningrad Cowboys & Red Army Choir singing it. Yes, you read that correctly… If you think this is surreal, wait until you get to 1:48.

    This is serious mind-bending shit. If you don't want to become affected
    by it then *don't watch it*

    The song is so good and my memories of Skynyrd so great that I still find myself singing along to it. This proves I am a really sad bastard. Would like to see them try Freebird, but perhaps, upon more mature thought, not…

    I won’t say enjoy, just listen:


  42. 174
    get real, you trollop says:

    *giggles* Those quiffs remind me of Dread Zeppelin wot I had the privilege to see a few times.

    Of course, Sweet Home Ala was their riposte to this:


  43. 176
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    hair today gone tomorrow


  44. 181
    Rebel with a cause says:

    So would Dave not respond if a rebel Muslims shelled our second city?


    • 184
      Alfred says:

      No. He’d get his butler to tune the televisual device to Sky News.


      • 187
        On message says:

        The BBC says it is wrong to restore peace in Syria.


        • 188
          Alfred says:

          Who cares? Life is so cheap, these days. Let them slog it out. Hundreds of new-borns die every day. WTF?


          • My Other Van's A Comma says:

            Don’t go mad, dear. I know where you’re coming from, though.


          • sick of everything, ever says:

            I’m fed up with human suffering being the next

            ++++ BREAKING WIND ++++

            To me, it’s a very sick situation we are in. Maybe I’m just over-sensitive.


          • Boot other Foot says:

            I think Dave cares but he has not thought it through. If a band of Muslim extremists decided to seize Brum with aid from Al Quida he would do the same as President Assad but ask the Yanks for help rather than the Russians.


          • garden shed economist says:

            Let them have it, FFS. At least it will halve the cost of building HS2 at their end of the line.


  45. 220
    not a machine says:

    Gold medal for best evaluation of twitter storm goes to Cranmers Blog …

    All very interesting stuff , this reading and typing things and the determination of offence . I must admit a few years ago , I was fairly shocked at having , replys that seemed offensive out of nowhere , but some sort of unofficial ettiquet has occured since then although I am not sure what we have seen in the changes in the teen minds it has created are a change for the better , but then they will probebly be moment when I am at the bustop and a group starts up “look theres a bloke reading a book , hey grandad ,you want get with it ” or somthing to that effect . The trouble is , not so much that i dont understand how to get with it , its that I have troubling thoughts about what this sea of immediacy is actually doing , but then again I am on that line of aging where I can remember a world with just the landline and the post (i can even remember telegrams at weddings)

    Interesting thought on NN , genetically engineered atheletes ! shusssh Labour are probebly working on genetically engineered labour voters , now that is scary ….. well when you run out of dellusions might as well cleanse the opponements to make socialism work …..good night and dont have nightmares ….


  46. 238
    UKIP.i.am says:

    So much for Danny Boyle and his celebration of our putrid nationalised health service.


    “The first private company to run an NHS hospital claims it has cut waiting times, improved care and delivered savings in its first six months.

    Circle has run Hinchingbrooke Hospital in Cambridgeshire since February.

    Regional NHS officials monitoring Circle say the company has made a good start, while warning that improvements at the hospital must be sustainable.”

    Note the word ‘claims’. When do you ever get the qualifying word ‘claims’ whenever the NHS quotes any data?


  47. 241
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m a figment of my own imagination.


  48. 243
    All this fuss for a few chocolate coins says:

    Congratulations on the huge benefits from the Titanics, Seb :



  49. 245
    Grollace says:

    New Years Honours List
    “Sir Vince”


  50. 246
    Tonto says:

    Pretty girl, flash eyes , state confidentiality the window out of.

    confidence no.


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