July 26th, 2012

That HMRC Stasi Document in Full

Guido had to check he hadn’t woken up in some Stalinist dystopia when he read that HMRC have been telling school children to tell their teacher if they suspect that their neighbours have been dodging tax. Lesson plans suggested by the government include asking teenagers to name any examples of tax evasion they can think of from their local area:

Anyone seen Mr. Gauke recently?


  1. 1
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Nineteen Eighty-Four not a handbook, etc.

    New Labour, Blue Labour, who can tell the difference?

  2. 2
    Ha says:


    In Other news it seems it was Boris who got that injunction out.

  3. 3
    UKIP.i.am says:

    Why does anybody think it right for honest people who pay their taxes in full to lose out to crooks, whether they are rich or poor or somewhere in between? What kind of society are we living in? Are we also on the side of robbers, burglars and thieves now?

  4. 4
    Tom Fatson says:

  5. 5
    Jimmy says:

    Well they’re also asked to grass on benefit cheats, so it’s politically neutral I suppose.

  6. 6
    The BBC are cunts says:


  7. 7
    Trahison des Clercs says:

    Likely enough Jimmy will be wetting himself. Dreams do come true!
    Add the names of any others who appear here eg Wacky Backy etc.

  8. 8
    Lord Scalded Bollock says:

    For those children who live near to House of Commons,it’s a no brainer.

    There’s 630 of the bleeders who should be turned over by HMRC.

  9. 9
    Trahison des Clercs says:

    Told you so eh Jhimmi

  10. 10
    Moussa Koussa says:

    I know a tax avoider

    He runs a tory political blogg, but lives most of the time in rep of Ireland, and all assets registered abroad…Guess who !!!!!!!

  11. 11
    Roundell says:

    can you imagine the recorded message on the Tax office phone.

    Hello, this is likle jimmy, I want to tell you that my neighbour with the big doggie does not pay taxes – he says that silly people do it and instead he collects lots of benefits using varius names and homes, even his mommy gets heat paid for at Christmas and she lives in Spanish town – I know this cause every year she comes and gives me a hug and a stuffed donkey and looks like a prune.

    Can you come to my class and Miss Evens will help will the spelling.


    Oh by the way I am 10

  12. 12
    Anonymous says:

    And if that’s not bad enough, the leaflet’s hy-
    phenation is rubbish.

  13. 13
    fruitcake says:

    Isn’t it past your bedtime MK?

  14. 14
    Moussa Koussa says:

    Warsi for Chancellor

  15. 15
    Polly Toynbee says:

    I find the last question more sinister:

    ‘Look at the example of paying taxes in Sierra Leone at the end of the factfile. Why are these people so keen to pay taxes? Discuss whether this is the essence of being a “good citizen”?’

    Ignoring the public-sector-level grammar and punctuation, are they suggesting being a good citzen is about how eager you are to give your money to the state? (And incidentally, more people in Sierra Leone probably pay tax because they can’t afford accountants).

  16. 16
    STD-NOT !!!! says:


    [meaningless diatribe]


  17. 17
    Anonymous says:

    Bet this “teaching aid” never finds its way into St Pauls or Eton

  18. 18
    Trumpeter Lanfried says:

    Children should now be encouraged to report their mother to HMRC if she pays her gardener or cleaning lady in cash.

    The child who files the most reports may become a Hero of the United Kingdom.

    Note to children: This does not apply if your mother is a peer or a Member of Parliament, or writes for The Guardian.

  19. 19
    Soylent Green says:

    Form an orderly queue to eat sheeple

  20. 20
    David Cameron (Leader of the Nasty Party) says:

    I would take this opportunity through this blog to wish Sir Mick Jagger a very happy 69th birthday today.

  21. 21
    Chuka Urmunneyaround says:

    Who mentioned grass ??

  22. 22
    Moussa Koussa says:

    Take your pick.

    Avoiders include

    Mr Fawkes
    His side Kick, “Side show H Moley”
    And not forgetting Mr Iain ( oh stop it ) Dale

    All true

  23. 23
    lolathebeautiful says:

    Last time I looked, avoidance, was legal. Your point therefore is?

  24. 24
    Wotta Tossa says:

    Run along and report him then, there’s a good little shill.

  25. 25
    Sniper says:

    Tax avoiders I am aware of?

    About 650 in Westminster alone – and that’s only one House. Some of their neighbours in the House next door are even worse!

  26. 26
    Nicola Clubb says:

    or is on the board of one of the Tax Evading Corps.

  27. 27
    Mrs Bone says:

    Oh how Peter and I laughed at this thread.
    It just sums up the English silly season.

  28. 28
    Wotta Tossa says:

    Incapable Vince has been earmarked for that.

  29. 29
    Anonymous says:

    When did paying the correct legal amount of tax (and no more) become synonymous with benefit fraud?

  30. 30
    Jane Moneypenny-sec. to Mr. Gauke says:

    Sorry, Mr. Gauke is very busy filling out his expenses at the moment, and is unavailable for comment.

  31. 31
    Moussa Koussa says:

    errrrrr Not Morally Correct.

    Weren’t all you right wing nut jobs all foaming at the mouth regarding Jimmy Carrs tax affairs. He did nothing illegal, but when one of your own do the same, you all start apologising

  32. 32
    Anonymous says:

    It does say “Discuss whether…” ??

  33. 33
    SP4BS says:

    I don’t believe that story any more.

  34. 34
    Moussa Koussa says:


    Boris = gagging injuntion ….wetting myself.

  35. 35
    New Labour Stooge says:

    There is nothing wrong with turning junior citizens into active members of the progressive collective.

    And as New Labour installed millions of the collective in the civil service and public sector elections are now pointless.

    We are New Labour. You will be controlled.

    Papers, show me your papers.

  36. 36
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    First they came for the plumbers– I was not a plumber, so I did not sp*eak out…

  37. 37
  38. 38
    Ken Livingstone says:

    Hey fuckface don’t forget about me

  39. 39
    Anonymous says:

    This document doesn’t ‘quite’ encourage children to grass up their neighbours.

  40. 40
    Roscoe Rules says:

    Or have an AK47 stuck in the back of their head.

  41. 41
    Fake Blood says:

    Asked by the Tories to grass up tax cheats and by Labour to grass up benefit cheats. Ugh. Filth, all of them.

    Let’s have a flat tax across all activities, £15k allowance earnings for all, no IR35 or S660 bollockry and then fire three quarters of the revenue’s staff. Bastards.

  42. 42
    HMRC says:

    Discuss whether the Tutsi or the Hutu should have paid the most tax

  43. 43
    Chuka Urmunneyaround says:

    Grass ? Where ??

  44. 44
    New Labour Stooge says:

    Yeah, right on my brother Muslim.

    We are fighting the same jihad against these right wing freedom lovin nutters, are,nt we bro?

    We are the progressive collective of the downtrodden. Yeah, innit.

    PBUY bro…

  45. 45
    Fake Blood says:

    As a rightwing nutjob myself, Moussa, I think Jimmy Carr is right to avoid as much tax as possible. He is wrong to criticise other people for so doing though – not too difficult to understand even for a halfwit like you. Hypocrisy was his crime.

  46. 46
    New Labour Stooge says:

    Yeah, tell ‘em bro. You da man here for sure. Innit, yeah. Progressive collective mindset bro…PBUY bro

  47. 47
    Wotta Tossa says:

    Don’t think anyone will be taking lessons in morality from you.

  48. 48
    right winger says:

    Think you’ll find it was left wingers who went potty at Carr. I thought it was great, good on him. I try and avoid every penny of tax possible. I’m trying to starve the beast.

  49. 49
    Plato says:

    Would you like the armed forces to defend you if the enemy attacks?

  50. 50
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    I think most people had already worked out that you’re a bedwetter.

  51. 51
    Lord Stansted says:

    +1. God almighty, what the hell is happening to this country. It seems fully of moralising, self-rightous c@@ts. From now on, I will do my utmost to avoid paying any tax. They can all rot in hell.

  52. 52
    Moussa Koussa says:

    LOL…. Can you just imagine the Tory Nutcase back benchers reaction to that

  53. 53
    Polly from her Tuscan Estate says:

    To Plato

    The Italian armed forces are shit

  54. 54
    Lord Cashcroft, Cashcroft House, Cashcroft, Cashcroftshire says:

    I would warn form 4B to be very careful about how they complete this class project

  55. 55
    Winston Smith says:

    think we need some hate sessions

  56. 56
    New Labour Stooge says:

    Yeah bro, you tell ‘em.

    We dont need a plastic socialist like Cable – anyway he has worked with the feffing Tories and probably secretly admires that Thatcher now.

    Yeah bro – we need Ed Balls back – do you know he spent £3 million on building a Mu_slim prayer area in his office?

    PBUH and you bro – we progressives get too much shit around here dont we bro..

  57. 57
    SP4BS says:

    Freudian, once again.

  58. 58
    gogab says:

    If our Court’s were in ‘full working order’ I’m sure that there would be far less bias and more scam’s would be nipped in the bud.

  59. 59
    Pink Police says:

    Err, is that a bigotted reference to our gay members of society?

    Oh, of course – Islam has a solution for them doesn’t it Moussa?

  60. 60
    Gordy Brune says:

    vince, the great financial luminary . . .

  61. 61
    Ex-Tory says:

    In schools?

  62. 62
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    And what about those who DON’T think it is the essence of being a good citizen to hand the Government a blank cheque? Dare they open up and admit it? Won’t someone grass them? Won’t their transactions be looked into? That sort of question is just a wee bit loaded, wouldn’t you say? As long as they’re at it, ask the kids if their father is still beating their mother– assuming these children know who their father is. (I wouldn’t dream of violating any superinjunctions by asking certain children of a certain politician, though.)

  63. 63
    Ivor Tapeworm says:

    ‘Refusing to pay tax’ can result i lawful and legitimate tax avoidance. The HMRC seems to want kids to consider tax mitigation as wrong, and conflate it with defrauding the benefits system (the latter being, of course, wrong and illegal.)

    Perhaps HMRC should ask what kids think of HMRC senior worker’s own tax-avoidance schemes, and what they think of HMRC employees who take salaries, benefits and pensions from the taxpayer but fail to do their job fairly or competently.

    The biggest cheats taking taxpayers money are HMRC and DWP employees who fail to do the jobs they are paid to do. Count all ‘Pilgrims’ amongst this number.

  64. 64
    T.B£iar - the People's Messiah says:

    Dead right !!

  65. 65
    MiniLuv says:




  66. 66
    Yeah, right... says:


    What should my children do if, whilst providing information to HMRC, they suspect that the senior officers in that organisation are enjoying the hospitality of corporations such as Goldman Sachs who then enjoy generous tax settlement?

    Further, to whom should they report their findings if they come across other senior officers who they suspect are avoiding tax by having their salaries paid through a Ltd Co, even though they are working full tiem for HMRC.?

    I’m just wondering.

  67. 67
    Lord Jensen Interceptor says:

    Fuck off you ligger bastard. We don’t need c unts like you. Fuck off back to liggerland where you came from.

    Fucking benefit parasite.

  68. 68
    AC1 says:

    You don’t pay tax, the state extorts it. The first thing that children should learn about the state.

  69. 69
    Yeah, right... says:

    Sensible fellow.

    I’d only be ready to berate him for this if he spent his time being sanctimonious about other people avoiding tax.

    Danny Alexander, Mr & Mrs Balls, HMRC, BBC, GMC et al.

  70. 70
    Yeah, right... says:

    I would imagine that the amount of tax you pay in Sierra Leone is not unrelated to the amount of access one has to guns.

  71. 71
    Lord Jensen Interceptor says:

    Build gas chambers and terminate c unts like you and all the reptiles you have spawned. Fucking ligger.

  72. 72
    Eric Blair says:

    Damn! I was good.

  73. 73
    AC1 says:

    Zero tax on earning i.e. infinite allowance.

    Land Tax instead (As all capitalists should favour).

    Fire 99% of inland revenue.

  74. 74
    UKIP.i.am says:

    In Vince Able.

  75. 75
    AC1 says:

    The term* is “Going Galt”. From the Ayn Rand book.

    *”do my utmost to avoid paying any tax.”

  76. 76
    AC1 says:

    Extortion is moral.
    Keep what you Earn is immoral.

    Leftism is as mental as shooting up a cinema, and kills millions of times more people.

  77. 77
    AC1 says:

    The Plumbers used to be a AlJaBeebya euphemism for trying to hide the islamic nature of a terrorist.

  78. 78
    Old Tory Bigot says:


    I wouldn’t mind paying tax so much if they did any bloody good with it but it mostly gets pissed away on bailing out banks (who do fuck all to bail out businesses), then ‘aid’ then featherbedding assorted migrants and native scroungers.

  79. 79

    I have said it before and I say it again, we are tiptoing down the route of Extremism. The lessons of history seem to have been forgotten.

    A better approach would be to better fund HMCE and the Benefits Agency or whatever they are called nowadays. Improve morale within and adequately train sufficient staff and hey presto problem largely sorted. Also there are already helplines that adults can phone to grass people up, at least adults know the risks to their health and safety that they take when they do it.

    Hardened criminals. Getting kids to grass on them, well the kids may only get a beating depending on who they cross, but the teachers well, could get nasty. And criminal gangs will find out who grassed.

    Is our government really so much out of touch that they:-

    1. Dont understand some basics of real life? (how criminals work for example)

    2. Can’t see that they are leading us down the path that we fought WW2 to prevent?

    I despair.

    Get kids to think about doing the right thing is to be admired. But again I do wonder how many more blunders our government will make/inspire.

    Come on tories inspire me an ex member of your party. So far all I am seeing is a lack of basic awareness of human nature and life at the sharp end.

  80. 80
    Nobody is surprised says:

    I think we all knew that.

  81. 81
    Just passing through says:

    Does Mr Gove know about this insidious addition to the curriculum?

  82. 82
    Bluebird says:

    Britain my Britain, what have the socialist fuckers done to you?

    Encouraging children to grass on families and neighbours? Has it really come to this borrowing policy from the Stasi of the old GDR?

    One way to send a message about this would be for parents to remove their children from the lessons that are including this call for grassing. After all if the members of minority communities can pull their children out of RE lessons which have a Christian bias why should those parents who have a healthy disrespect for what the State is currently doing not do the same?

  83. 83
    Backwoodsman says:

    Erm, most of us here make the point you raise, fairly forcefully and on a regular basis !
    Rise up and join us !

  84. 84
    BagLady says:

    Cuba circa 1960

  85. 85
    keredybretsa says:

    In my experience the Stasi were much, much more subtle in their approach to such matters. Everybody knew what was going on. They were even pretty sure they knew who was up to the old tricks. But they weren’t sure, because every ‘grass’ had a small ‘grass’ watching and reporting on each others activities.
    Now it is probably correct that such subjects ‘tax evasion’ ‘fiddling benefits’ should be openly discussed in the classroom. But what value would any ‘information’ have? When used incorrectly it could well be classified as Anti Social Behaviour throwing out bits of information on a neighbour instead of bricks through their window.

  86. 86
    BagLady says:

    Yes but who exactly in HMRC came up with the plan to use the kids to out their parents? Let’s have a name so we can bear it in mind for future reference.

  87. 87
    confused says:

    How would the kids no anything about the financial arrangements of people out outside of the family?

    No this is clear attempt to get the kids to rat out their parents aunt’s or uncle’s. Precisely what Stalin & Hitler encouraged the kids to do

  88. 88
    confused says:

    That should be know not no doh!

  89. 89
    Wry Observations says:

    Not much austerity over at HMRC towers, the wonderful Somerset House, have you seen the size of those crystal chandeliers when you walk past and window lick.

    They could perfectly well carry out there obnoxious services from a Slough industrial estate. Sadly not with their sense of entitlement though!!

  90. 90
    Anonymous says:

    The weren’t keen on paying tax to the British in 1898. Though that was ended by hanging 96 of the leading tax rebels. Maybe HMRC want that power back.


  91. 91
    Wry Observations says:

    HMIR were bad enough but team them up with HMC and you get a right bunch of obnoxious c.u.nts

  92. 92
    Richard Nixon says:

    Don’t forget my crew…

  93. 93
    Michael Gove says:

    Do not worry- teachers will have no time to take notice of the kids spilling the beans as they are to busy reading my latest long list of loony shitty instructions.

  94. 94
    Forkbender says:

    Ken Boy, how on earth can we all forget about you, Guido cannot stop talking about you and your antics

  95. 95
    Forkbender says:

    Poll Doll, go down to Kensington Barracks and shout it out at the top of your voice

  96. 96
    Anthony Spencer says:

    HMRC are worse than the Nazis who encouraged children to denounce parents who did not support the Party. HMRC are in an administrative mess caused by incompetant Government who keep chopping and changing regulations.

  97. 97
    Forkbender says:

    As we are in Nato, as are the Italians, you will be implicating that Nato is s+++ and by reflection the British army

  98. 98
  99. 99
    Little Weed says:

    Well, one of you farted.

  100. 100
    Marion the cat says:

    I just had a tax demand, they assessed my income as working for the local county council AND being on receipt of JSA all of the year in question. THINKS, whoever compiled that piece of crap draws a salary for lying. Now if I lie to them I can expect a court hearing. BASTARDS.

  101. 101
    HappyUK says:

    The problem is that the people are the government, and the people have yet to wake up out of their trance.

    Jubilee my arse. The fact that there are still a sizeable contingent in this country who will cheerfully wake at 3 in the morning to see someone they don’t know and never will, goes a long way to explaining why we are in the situation we are in.

    Many Brits are still class-obssessed, stuck-up twats. They inexplicably look up to a jug-eared twat wearing a military uniform with chestful of medals harping on about his ‘Mummy’.

    That’s right, Charles, an even bigger fucking useless idle layabout parasite thieving tax-evading arse bandit than any benefits scrounger.

  102. 102
    Bluebird says:

    Remember it was BROWN who pushed for the merger of HMIR and HMCE. A complete and utter screw up was made of it.

  103. 103
    Jane Birkin from Paris says:

    I think you are wasting your time flogging a dead horse on this one Mr Fawkes.

    I discovered a front line politician had been using taxpayers money to have some wisteria removed from his house which is 150 miles from Westminster.

    When I mentioned this criminal activity to the Police they said I was bonkers and were not going to be arsed even opening a file.

  104. 104
    "Anyone seen Mr. Gauke recently?" says:

    Anyone seen Wanker Gove recently?

  105. 105
    Private Swiss Vaulter says:

    What’s Tax ?

    Surely you mean tacks, and since stepping on them can be very painfull, why should school kids be reporting people for avoiding walking on tacks.
    And what the hell is the Government doing collecting tacks anyway, I don’t understand this article at all, Guido, you’re fucking mental, do some serious investigative journalism will you like how the Govt is going to fix the economy.

  106. 106
    Conrad says:

    Or runs a Quango or works for the BBC.

Seen Elsewhere

Milburn Health Consultancy Worth £2 Million | Scrapbook
Stuart Broad Right, Peston Broadly Wrong | Ryan Bourne
The 38 Seats in England Yet to Select a Tory Candidate | ConHome
Labour and Green Ecofascism | Matthew Walsh
Burnham Shows Why Labour Can’t Be Trusted | Speccie
Why Online Voting is a Crap Idea | Ballot Box
Time We Showed Super Rich Some Love | Alice Thomson
We Need True Popular Capitalism | Maurice Saatchi
Labour’s Winning Hand | Sebastian Shakespeare
We Defend Labour’s Record | John Hutton and Alan Milburn
100 Tories to Rebel on Plain Packs | Telegraph

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Alan Milburn says Labour’s scaremongering campaign for an unreformed NHS will not win election…

“It would be a fatal mistake, in my view, for Labour to go into this election looking as though it is the party that would better resource the National Health Service but not necessarily put its foot to the floor when it comes to reforming. Look, reforms are not easy, but the Labour Party is not a conservative party. It should be about moving things forward not preserving them in aspic. You have got a pale imitation actually of the 1992 general election campaign, and maybe it will have the same outcome. I don’t know.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,715 other followers