June 1st, 2012

The Scilly Spring – Islanders Demand an Elected Mayor

Last week Guido brought you the news of a council chief executive who was so desperate to stop the only school in his control from becoming an academy, that he suspended the headteacher without following due process or presenting any evidence for an alleged financial irregularity.

Until Craig Oliver went to town on Norman Smith, the story was one of the highest ranking of the week as residents of the Isles of Scilly flocked to the comment section to vent their frustration at the nation’s smallest Unitary Authority and its loathed leader Philip Hygate. The problems blighting this tiny archipelago are a fascinating microcosm of the problems that blight all of government. Namely, vested interests, concentrated power and incompetence. 

Word has reached the mainland that a few brave islanders viewed the suspension of the popular headteacher as the last straw. Last night a public meeting was held. More than two hundred attended – 10% of the population – despite reports of intimidation from the Council and threats not to attend. One would-be revolutionary told Guido it was a “we the people” moment, with islanders overwhelmingly signing motions including scrapping the post of Chief Executive and replacing it with an Executive Mayor. It was apparently “the most mild mannered revolution of all time.” Guido understands that at least one Minister has a holiday booked on Scilly this summer, perhaps he should take Hilton, Gove and Pickles with him…


  1. 1
    Freak watch says:

    All kicking off!

  2. 2
    Lord Stansted says:

    What did you expect with idiot HRH Charles as landlord.

  3. 3
    green ink says:

    silly season already !

  4. 4
    Sub Tropical British Isles says:

    Just to say, if you’ve never been to Scilly, then you should. Getting there is expensive (they say the dearest stretch of water in the world) as is Island hopping. But other than that you are in for a fantastic surprise.

  5. 5
    Andrew says:

    it’s loathed leader

    No, Guido

    its loathed leader

    3/10 – must work on punctuation.

  6. 6
    Johann Hari says:

    Why doesn’t George Osborne just get a box of matches, set fire to his Budget and start all over again

  7. 7
    Tuscan Tony says:

    “Archipelago”? Wha?!?!? Not only on a Friday afternoon but also spelled correctly – blog’s going to the dogs.

  8. 8
    David Cameron says:

    I sense yet another U-Turn coming !

  9. 9
    Gordon Brown, Part-Time MP says:

    I am hoping to be appointed Minister for Scilly Islands.

  10. 10
    Tuscan Tony says:

    “Fantastic surprise” is a bit ambiguous here: e.g. Tim Robbins was subjected to multiple fantastic surprises in the shower room at Shawshank.

  11. 11
    One of Mary's poems says:

    Harold Wilson used to go on holidays to the Scilly Isles.

    I bet he set up the council there to get one of his crooked mates a job.

  12. 12
    Selohesra says:

    This year Mr & Mrs Wilson are not going to the Sillies for their holidays – instead Mr & Mrs Silly will be visiting the Wilsons

  13. 13
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    two ronnies?

  14. 14
    Julie Davis says:

    I shall be there in my role as … as … well, whatever I am!
    Employed as a teacher, true, but not teaching, but getting paid for it as you know.

  15. 15
    Twatson is a fat git says:

    I would ragther have Charles as a Landlord that any Leiber b&stard.

  16. 16
    London 2012 the friendly games...NOT says:

    I see LOCOG is winning Olympic hearts and minds, ordering Staff at Webbers Estate Agents in Braunton, Devon to remove Hoola Hoops set up in their window to celebrate the passing of the Olympic torch or face criminal charges.

    Are they going to threaten school children next who are no doubt drawing olympic rings in their art class?

  17. 17
    Twatson is a fat git says:

    Didn’t darling ‘Arold finish up on the funny farm?

  18. 18
    smoggie says:

    I’m sure Philip Hygate would make a very fine Executive Mayor.

  19. 19
    Windy Miller Dave says:

    Not for long. Once we’ve surrounded them with offshore windmills and planted onshore windmills all over them, there will be no reason travel there.

  20. 20
    Selohesra says:

    Indeed it was – showing our age a bit perhaps

  21. 21
    WVM says:

    It seems as though nothing has changed since the heady socialist days of command and control new labour.

  22. 22
    Sterling Zone says:

    The FTSE doesn’t look very healthy. Is something bad happening?

  23. 23
    Mervyn Shalom King says:

    Will no one think of the ‘international’ financiers?!

  24. 24
    George Osborne says:

    There’s no money left, we can’t afford a budget so it’s been cut.

  25. 25
    Dave says:

    Right, I’ve had enough of this hounding and mickey-taking by the lower orders. What we need is a damn good false flag muzzie terrorist spectacular. Blow up a couple of thousand useless eaters, invade Syria and Iran and put the bloody plebs back in their police state box.

  26. 26
  27. 27
    Lord Stansted says:

    f23k the games.

  28. 28
    Black Swan says:

    Hello everyone!

    Just thought I’d pop in and introduce myself like you do, I know I know but better late than never eh!

  29. 29
    Bob Zoellick, Ben Bernanke, Christine Lagarde, Mervyn King, Uncle Tom Cobelstein and all says:

    For the love of Yahweh, print money!

  30. 30
    WVM says:

    Is it time to release the kracken yet?

  31. 31

    Don’t forget that Harold Wilson is buried in the soil there.

    He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery

  32. 32
    WVM says:

    Too infinity and beyond!!!

  33. 33
    London 2012 the friendly games...NOT says:

    LOCOG and the Draconian Olympic Act which makes sponsored advertising or unlicenced branding a criminal offence are the the offspring of new Labour but I’ve no doubt Dave would have done the same. I haven’t checked but I also have no doubt The Conservative opposition voted for the Olympic Act without realising the full consequences.

    Not sure how they are going to remove the clothing of Ladies bearing names of non sponsors though.

  34. 34
    Baronet Gideon of Ballyboysandtheircocks says:

    Today, and after many U-turns, I have great pleasure in announcing my much-awaited Plan B. It’s entitled:

    ‘No Banker Left Behind’

  35. 35
    Diamond Geezer says:

    The banks are on holiday for the next four days so perhaps they will come back fully re-charged.

  36. 36
    Van Rompuy Pumpy says:

    But…but…but the Irish referendum passed!
    They voted correctly first time!
    This was supposed to be a happy happy day!

  37. 37
    jgm2 says:

    As you say – insanely expensive to travel there. I toyed with the idea of visiting this summer but the cost of getting there was insane – it would be cheaper to fly to the US. The ferry didn’t seem too prohibitive though. But then when you got there the cost of accommodation was madness too. By this stage I’d given up – I wouldn’t be at all surprised if the food was prohibitively expensive too.

    So I thought ‘Fuck it. I’ll save my money instead.’

    So I did.

  38. 38
    Jeremy Clarkson says:

    Philip Hygate should be taken outside and shot in front of his family.

  39. 39
    Let me be the first to claim it is a conspiracy says:

    Is the CIA behind it?

  40. 40
    jgm2 says:

    Or shot after his family. Either would do.

  41. 41
    Oliver Stone says:

    It was a false flag operation.

  42. 42
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    Will Self-serving has had insurance claim rejected. http://bit.ly/LNs282

    You’d need a heart of stone not to piss yourself laughing.

  43. 43
    green ink says:

    went silly sausage after lady porkbender saw him off

  44. 44
    Shamus says:

    So that’s it then. Sireland will now have its budgets written in Brussels and signed off by the Germans. Sireland is now just a small outlying state of the EUSSR.

  45. 45
    green ink says:

    blue ops

  46. 46
    Karma says:

  47. 47
    Herman van Rumboy says:

    Silence !!

  48. 48
    An Underwriter says:

    Yeah. It was an Act of God. LOL

  49. 49
    Geoff, England (not Britain or 'United' KIngdom) says:

    They know that if they vote the ‘wrong’ way, the EU will only ‘invite’ them to vote again, so they’re just saving themselves the aggro of another expensive referendum. How long will it be before this is happening in the Divided Kingdom?

  50. 50
    Twatson is a fat git says:

    Very true Shamus. The Oirish deserve all they get, and no apologies to Guido either. My Grandparents were Oirish, but a rare couple, as they were full of common sense.

  51. 51
    Daniel O'Connell says:

    Aye, youse English bastards. We showed you!!!

  52. 52
    Frau Merkel says:

    Ireland will be a good place to set up our forced labour camps. We will call them the Gaelic.

  53. 53
    Mike Hunt says:

    Plans A, B and C are simple:


  54. 54
    Twatson is a fat git says:

    Sorry Daniel, you’ll have to kiss Merkel’s smelly ars* twice a week from now on. Sold your feckin souls for a rotten currency a bad de*,al.

  55. 55
    jgm2 says:

    I thought George Osborne was baronet of Cappoquin or thereabouts?

  56. 56
    Wrapped in the flag Fuckwit Mick says:

    But we showed you!

    We might all have paupered ourselves through an insane property bubble but we showed you!

  57. 57
    Che Paddy says:

    40% voted the wrong way. That is a significant number of potential freedom fighters further down the line. Not forgetting those that did not vote resigning to the belief that propaganda operation was too powerful to best.

  58. 58
    sockpuppet #4 says:


    I saw a brand new JCB in the cemetry down the road the other day.

  59. 59
    Mike Hunt says:

    And employing another teacher to do the teaching you are not doing.

    Job creation, union style.

  60. 60
    Mike Hunt says:

    Arkell and Pressdram time.

  61. 61
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    insane property bubble? It started in amerrrr,…sham

  62. 62
    And they're off says:

  63. 63
    jgm2 says:

    Ireland does rather give the lie to ‘It started in America…’ doesn’t it?

    Ireland was just five years further down the road of economic insanity than the UK before it finally stopped in America.

  64. 64
    JH says:

    Which was nice.

  65. 65
    Every Cheap Comic You've Ever Seen says:

    That’s easy for you to say (*rimshot*).

  66. 66
    Hu Flung Dun says:

    Doctor brankwurst I presume

  67. 67
    Every Cheap Comic You've Ever Seen says:

    You watch your language, lad, there’s ladies present!

  68. 68
    Ling Hong says:


  69. 69
    Marital coercion says:

    Marital coercion? That’s the coronerstones of islam! Our beloved prophet tolding us to rapes our 14 wives and girl aged 9 and overs. And to rapes the wives of our enemies!

  70. 70
    Raving Loon says:

    Dublin, now twinned with Kracow and Bergen Belsen.

  71. 71
    Raving Loon says:

    Black Ops 2, out this November.

  72. 72
    Renminbi says:

    安杰拉 merkels 取得呆滯的手指

  73. 73
    Charles, His Future Majesty in the wrong business says:

    I will be the hereditary Head of the Church of England

    So please, shut up

    My ancestor, Henry VIII, that upright man and great theologian, made sure that the English peasants would follow his will..

    As they will mine…

  74. 74
    Wanna buy my infernal flame? says:

    The Chair of LOCOG is Coe
    Not bright of mind, indeed slow.
    He’s often accused
    Of being sponsor enthused.
    To the spirit of the Olympics, a blow.

  75. 75
    Vested Interests says:

    I can only deny that the English bar is a vested interest and restrictive practice

    Test run

  76. 76
    Trahison des Clercs says:

    Time for S’n’A

  77. 77
    Mehdi says:

    It’s all about keeping the high ground.

  78. 78
    Hunky Ed says:

    Ith not eathy for me to thay though

  79. 79
    Must get a pseudonym one day says:

    Sad time for the Irish. In less than 100 years they have chosen to take themselves from rule by a caring democratic state to domination by an axis of evil.

    They had their chances but blew them. Sometime soon they’ll be wishing for another potato famine – it was less painful.

  80. 80
    Vested Interests says:


    uncensored, as yet

    I will go on

    Does any rational person think that it is normal that

    ALL the High Court Judges

    ALL the senior barristers

    ALL the senior members of the Crown Prosecution Service, including successive Directors of Public Prosecutions

    And ALL the senior memebrs of Royal Commissions

    And at least one PrimenMinister’s wife (!)

    And various well placed Cabinet Ministers of Right and Left

    And many appointed Life Peers

    ALL come from the same small set of Barristers Chambers ?

    And that English barristers are most expensive in the world ?

  81. 81
    Anti-Incest Fighter says:

    The English Bar is a renowned restrictve practise that should be immediately referred to the Mopoolies Commisison, Office of Fair Trading and opened up every citizen that wants a modicum of justice

  82. 82
    A different barista says:

    Not Sue, Grabbit and Run – Shirley?

  83. 83
    Pistov Publicman says:

    Yes, but by whom? And is the Monopolies Commission infested too with these people?

  84. 84
    Expat Geordie says:

    Can’t afford the matches!

  85. 85
    Biffo says:

    But not worth very much as the interest rate for savers was s***.

  86. 86
    Biffo says:

    I’ll send him some free, as long as he promises to set fire to himself as well.

  87. 87
    Frua Murky Hell says:

    Und it vill be ze ideal brigdehead for ze invasion plans.

    Yes Englanders, you vill soon bend ze knee to ze Vier Riech. Vee have you zurrounded.

  88. 88
    Fish says:

    Yes. And hypocritically there’s only ONE Monopolies Commission

  89. 89
    Biffo says:

    Yeah, saw An Taoiseach, Enda whatever his name is burbling on about how wonderful it all is that 60% voted ‘the right way’. I think that man will live to eat his words (or be forcefed them by the 40%).

  90. 90
    Biffo says:

    No, no the Matrix Revised, Re-worked & Reversed ‘Barristers 4U’.

  91. 91
    Tory Canyon says:

    Bomb it

  92. 92
    Owain Glyndwr says:

    It has been reported by the irish times that thousands and thousands are on the ulster side of the border pointing their fingers and laughing their cocks off

  93. 93
    Forkbender says:

    Just Pickles, then he could just sit on the unmentionable one, problem over

  94. 94
    Forkbender says:

    I thought your ancestors were German

  95. 95
    Forkbender says:

    Leave him alone Andy he is trying

  96. 96
    Forkbender says:

    unfortunately just like Ronald Reagan

  97. 97
    Forkbender says:

    And also Margaret, the trouble with that disease it can hit anyone and at the momthere is no going back

  98. 98
    Forkbender says:

    That’s a push you pull me, bit like the budget is turning out

  99. 99
    Forkbender says:

    sorry “moment”

  100. 100
    Forkbender says:

    +1000000 a man after my own heart, any more of that stupidity and people shoUld just their backs on the LONDON OLYMPIC games torches and all the ballyhoo that goes with it

  101. 101
    will says:

    you have to have a heart of stone not to laugh

  102. 102
    Ivor Tapeworm says:

    If Pickles visited, the whole island would capsize the moment he stepped onland.

    On the plus side, England, meanwhile, would rise 6″ upon his departure for Scilly, thus fending off the threat of rising sea levels for a century.

  103. 103
    Ivor Tapeworm says:

    Legislation ‘protecting’ the Olympic symbol is far older than the London Olympic Games and Paralympic Games Act 2006.

    Try looking at the Olympic Symbol ec. (Protection) Act 1995 or even earlier Trade Marks Acts.

  104. 104
    Ivor Tapeworm says:

    The Olympic Games and Paralympic Games Act 2006 is, however, so general and wide-ranging that traders have been threatened with prosecution merely for using the figure ‘2012’ in advertising material, without any reference to the Olympic games.

    Landowners can even be prosecuted for not preventing someone else on their land taking ‘action of a particular kind’. For Fucks’s sake, what sort of tin-pot socialist dreamt that up? Oh… right.

    Perhaps the Queen should be prosecuted for having a jubilee in 2012.

    Typical totalitarian Labour legislation.

  105. 105
    Ivor Tapeworm says:

    May I take the opportunity to say that that video, especially the editing, was complete and utter shit.

  106. 106
    Anonymous says:

    Even his wife cant stand him – they’ve lived seperate lives for years.

  107. 107
    Wycked Hors says:

    There is a solution – everyone does it – if we all stuck up a faux-Olympic sign in our windows and all wore a non-regulation Olympic T Shirt or whatever, I doubt the cops would be bothered and I can’t see the most puffed-up little Hitlerian lawyer having the patience or resources to cart 60 million people off to court.

  108. 108
    cynic says:

    he is not old enough to be allowed to buy matches

  109. 109
    cynic says:

    quote from irish times 62% vote for rock, 38% for hard place

  110. 110
    cynic says:

    yeah ….we need a revolution and my firm will be happy to advise on setting one up in return for the normal fee plus refreshers etc

  111. 111
    Expat Geordie says:

    Bed wettingly funny.

  112. 112
    Bill Brinsmead says:

    Catch up people.

    Scilly Isles Chief Executive is paid £80k+ to run a Parish Council with a population of 2,100.

    I could weep.

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