May 22nd, 2012

Confirmed: Susie Will Spin for CCHQ


  1. 1
    ED BALLS says:



  2. 2
    Init says:

    Good one Guido.


  3. 3
    GCHQ says:

    Alwight Squire?


    • 101
      Handycock (sex Tourist on Taxpayer's money) says:

      I do most of my shagging on Council of Europe meetings. Here am I trying to justify my expenses on another shagging trip.


  4. 4

    ‘Ere, listen, I’ll tell you what she can spin on… Ay? AY?


  5. 5
    Historian says:

    This must be


    • 7
      Historian says:

      the scoop of the century

      An unknown failed mini spinner being replaced by a micro spinner

      Oh so fascinating Micro Guido


      • 11
        Loungelizard says:

        I’ve no idea who or what she is but nobody who wears earrings like the ones she has on in Guido’s blogpic can have anything useful to tell us.


      • 39
        Sell Out says:

        I know it’s bollocks isn’t it.

        The fat lazy shite.

        This blog used to be good once.


        • 50
          Ah! Monika says:

          Everyone posting on here thinks the same thing.


        • 118
          Tabloids lie says:

          Fat tart is more interested in ar se licking his masters and the chosen landers now.
          Pity, he could have made a difference. Glad I’m emigrating.


          • Indigenous Anglo says:

            Get real. The ‘Fawkes’ blog was patently a Has bara / I D F -front from day one.

            His usefulness to his backers has run its course or his ulterior agenda has become too apparent to too many readers.

            Now save our country in the 11th hour and send all immigrants back home, especially the dual-citizens with ‘the right to return’, to ‘the only democracy in the M.E.’.


      • 40
        I've Met the Man In The Street and He's a Right Cunt says:

        Who the fuck cares about SpAd Land total non-job arse holes. Jesus the entire EU project is unwinding and Guido gives us this. It sure is Tittle Tattle


        • 43
          Sell Out says:

          Where’s Guido?

          He’s not in fucking Westminster that’s for sure. Lots of things unfolding and generally coming unstuck but not a whisper here.

          Is he on a beach somewhere with sand getting in his iPad?


          • I've Met the Man In The Street and He's a Right Cunt says:

            He sure as fuck has got sand in something if this is meant to pass as a ‘scoop’ on the day the IMF are telling us to cut interest rates (what to fucking zero) and print more Mugabe Money. We are about to be spit roasted in a very nasty way by EU and our political elite. Dave and his chubby bum boy playmates wonder around like they’ve got all the time in the world.


          • David Cameron says:

            When your neighbours house is on fire, you need a massive bazooka to blow out the flames.


          • Guido's ghost says:

            I am saving Ireland


            Please be patient with Micro whatnot…


          • I spied Guido with my little eye says:

            Guido is laying in tons of baked beans and gold in his third residence in the depoths of Oireland.., as he always recommended…

            God bless him

            He has left the sinking ship to some underlings who clearly are operating at the level of ze daily fur


  6. 6
    Financial Advisor to the pension companies says:

    That tweet is worth at least $104bn


  7. 8
    CCHQ says:

    Our first and major announcement is that the Conservative Party supports Gay Marriage

    We will pas major legislation on this subject, before the countrey sinks under the financial waves…

    We never promised it but our Great Leader is adament

    Marriage for buggers and we will all row together (as the Eton Boating Song says)


  8. 10
    MET Spokesperson says:

    Temperatures set to hit 28C

    Err…Can we have a bigger ‘puter?


  9. 12
  10. 13
    keredybretsa says:

    Really you are in the know before the knowers know. Bet poor Dave is afraid to drop a fart…..because he can read it hear before it rattles.


  11. 15
    bet fred says:

    Didier Drogba to replace Andrew Lansley at the DoH


  12. 18
  13. 21
    Contract lawyer says:

    I think Miss Susie time at CCHQ will be limited

    I hope she has a good redundancy payment


  14. 23
    Q says:

    That’ll be a few less Liebour voters then


    • 48
      Sell Out says:

      “The European Court of Human Rights has said individual governments can decide how to implement a ban on convicted prisoners voting.”

      Well that’s fucking big of them.

      Good of them to get out of their bath of asses milk to pontificate to us – the cun ts.


    • 49
      Sell Out says:

      “The Europ ean Court of Human Rights has said individual governments can decide how to implement a ban on convicted prisoners voting.”

      Well that’s fucking big of them.

      Good of them to get out of their bath of asses milk to pontificate to us – the cun ts.


  15. 30
    Daily Fur correspondent says:

    I think we have dealt with this young lady

    She has had her 15 minutes of fame

    Can we move onto something interesting please Guido?

    Some full frontal from our front page, for example?

    Or from our competitor, Loaded Magazine?


  16. 31
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Selective reporting by BBC News 24 on today’s IMF report. Nobody touches the BBC for anti tory reporting.


    • 41
      The BBC and links to the Labour Party a case for investigation if ever there was one says:

      They’re making it up as they go along…..LaGarde said nothing about reducing VAT..the BBC continues to put out Labour propaganda non-stop..


      • 54
        Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

        Of course it’s just yet another excuse to get mong Ed Scrotum out to spout his “spend spend spend” mantra once more.


        • 57
          A Left Wing Economist says:

          You see, what we need is GROWTH.

          To engender GROWTH we need to piss billions of pounds away on the NHS, the police, schools, local government and quagos. It doesn’t matter how effective this spending is, it only matters that money is spent in unimaginable quantities.

          This is INVESTMENT. If we happen to thoroughly line the trousers of big, incompetent American consultancy firms who cannot deliver a working abbacus, let alone a function NHS records system then thats just fine. Afterall, they’ll give me a consultant post at the end of the day when the UK nothing but a burning wasteland.


          • I Remember You Hoo says:


            Lower taxes and stop pissing money away on worthless shite. Simple.


          • Shanghai boss says:

            I think it mlight be a good idea if you people learned what the word “Work” means


    • 79
      Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

      The only reason the BBC want a VAT cut is so people go out and buy more flat screen TV’s and hence have to declare their name and address to the TV licencing scum.


  17. 34
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    This story is a bit like the Captain of the Titanic announcing that he’s promoted the assistant chef to the position of chief chef whilst everyone is hanging off the back of the ship as it sinks.


  18. 36
    Sue says:

    Who cares?


  19. 37
    Sell Out says:

    This is a “scoop” ?

    A “scoop” indeed.

    New Lows.


  20. 44
    Susy Q says:

    Who was Macrory?


  21. 47
    Susy Wong says:

    Pay me five dorras I love you loads.


  22. 52
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Trust the mongs at the BBC to paint Watson as a hero of the left.


  23. 55
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Fucking BBC, how can students go on strike? What a bunch of mongs. So does that mean Spanish students won’t be shagging, drinking, shooting up, wanking or stealing today then?

    After all that’s what students all over the world call work.


    • 58
      Student says:

      Is it better to wank before I shoot up or after?


    • 76
      Retired Professor says:

      When I was a university professor (true!), my students said there was a strike planned…

      I said, “It’s simple, kids, If I go to the trouble of coming here to teach you and you do not turn up, you will get 0 marks at the end of the year”.

      They all turned up….


    • 124
      Business Cat (Specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op) says:

      You should see the students in Quebec, Canada. At least in Spain they are in dire financial straits with 25% unemployment, unlike the tw@ts in Quebec.


  24. 59
    Mary Whitehouse says:

    This used to be a family blog as the host claimed!


  25. 67
    A Real Butch and the NHS pays says:

    Do you realise Guido, that we butches will soon be able to have children on the NHS ?

    My wife will be inseminated on the NHS with the sperm (horrors) of a man (horrors) who we do not know

    And my virgin bride will then be able to have a calf not of our making

    But we will be wonderful parents and there is no need for a father and mother in the household…as all pshycholigistss have recomended for a century…



    • 71
      Anonymous shirt lifter says:

      And I am a q u e e r

      I will be able to have a woman (hoorors) not of my choice to be a surrogate mother (horrors) for my children, all paid for by the NHS

      Even Nero did not think of that for his castrated “wife”…

      But we are so happy to pervert society for our happiness…


  26. 68
    Ah! Monika Bay says:

    I have 100 Facebook shares in exchange for an Olympic Torch ( but not the one that blew out ).


  27. 75
    Where is Tony Blair ? says:

    Where is Tone ?

    We desperately need you to save us from the disaster he created?

    He will save us all


  28. 77
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    More lies spun by the BBC. Mongs stated that nuclear power won’t be subsidised as Lib Dems oppose it.

    Well they might but the fact is it’s the EU that prevents it. Once again the BBC doing the cock sucking for the EU, they love those big EU bungs at the BBC.


  29. 81
    Peter Cruddas says:

    Why don’t you just take the refund and fuck off,Guido ?


  30. 83
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    To the Tories

    How to get the economy going.

    1. Cut fuel duty by 30p a litre for at least 12 months.

    2. Pay for it by cutting fucking spending.

    3. Tell the BBC to fuck off.


    • 87
      I don't need no doctor says:

      Good point. Cameron should give an ultimatum to the lib dems, and put the BBC back in it’s place, an unbiased news / media organisation.


      • 92
        Fair and balanced says:

        The BBC should be told

        For every biased programme

        One percent will be lopped off their budget

        Until it stops…

        How about that?


        • 95
          Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

          The BBC will be broke in 24 hours


        • 105
          anon says:

          and Sky isn’t biased?


          • Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

            Are you forced to fund Sky? And since when did Sky pump out Liebore party propaganda 24 hours a day?


          • Anonymous says:

            Hey give anon a chance, Sky is riddled with ex BBC, limp wristed hacks, so what he says has a large degree of truth. What we really need is a full on Fox News to scare the shit out of both of them (cue hysterical response from reactionary knobheads)


    • 112
      Expat Geordie says:

      1. Agreed, but make it permanent.

      2. Don’t need to cut spending. The cut will pay for itself with reduced unemployment costs, greater consumer confidence cause by cheaper goods in the shops, etc.

      3. Agreed.


      • 113
        Expat Geordie says:

        2. Cutting spending would help the economy, but it wouldn’t be needed to pay for a cut in fuel duty. Now if the money that we are forced to hand over was spent effectively…


  31. 91
    Shanghai Professor says:

    This blog has been shanghaied…


  32. 93
    President Hollandaise of the Dutch Republic says:

    My gendarmerie has seen you on our territory

    Be careful

    If you continue attacking My Euro, I will confiscate your second residence…(above all the cellar, which I know is precious to you)


    • 103
      Felicity Cloake says:

      The main difficulty, I think, is not that hollandaise is particularly difficult to make, once you understand the science of it; it’s the cult of the Sauce, by which I don’t mean tomato ketchup and its ilk, but the backbone of the classic French repertoire, the kind of recipe which sounds like one should have a legion d’honneur to even dare attempting


  33. 96

    Jeff Randall on Sky
    Ireland may have to ask for second bail out of 3.2 billion
    Ha ha ha ha


    • 99
      Please save the furniture says:

      That is why Guido has abandoned our blog…


    • 110
      David Camoron says:

      Don’t worry – I gave you all a cast iron guarantee I wouldn’t use any of your money to bail out the Euro!

      I’m going to bail out the Euro with borrowed money instead.

      Toodle pip!


  34. 97
    Fair and balanced says:

    How about a real British celebrity ?


  35. 98
    Patrick Mower says:

    Here’s something more interesting :


  36. 100
    The Tosser in No 10 says:

    One actually must be honest – well as honest as one can be for a politician – ha ha hahh ahhh aaa!

    Frankly one hasn’t got a clue what one is doing! But these yokel types in Suffolk seem to have a plan for New Cleer Power – dashed if one knows what that is but it’s change to wind – that of course one loves fervently with all the love of a money grabber! Ha ha ha hhhaaaa!

    Anyway, one agrees with Cleggars – and if he says it’s OK it must be! And personally, one has no worries in the energy or fuel cost departments! Ha ha ha hh aaahhh!


  37. 106
    CCGQ RSVP SHIT says:

    In a new report out today it is claimed that there are more morons in the UK than anywhere else in Europe. And most of them are on here.


    • 108
      In his own words, Ken Livingstone says:

      Stupid, moronic, people – abject failures who will never amount to anything – tend to vote Labour. Intelligent, successful people – people with good qualifications and good incomes – they vote for other parties. Usually the Conservatives.


      • 120
        Sci says:

        Actually, we don’t vote at all.
        Only a moron would give a cretinous politician a mandate to shaft them.


    • 109
      call me spastic dave says:

      Legislation is in the pipeline to make it easier for morons to get married to each other. This will help to cut the deficit and pay off our debts. plus it will make it harder for the BBC to portray us Tory toffs as the nasty party, innit?


    • 117
      a wally says:

      yeah – notice no-one has asked why the government department for intercepting and decrypting enemy signals needs a spin doctor?


      • 150
        anonymous says:

        that’s because they now believe that everybody has been sufficiently brainwashed so as to comply – and judging from the comments they are right


  38. 114
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Why is the BBC banging on about the IMF and a VAT cut when that was not part of what they specifically said?

    Oh hang on it’s Steph ‘what day of the week is it’ Flanders, she who was shagging both Ed’s and both Ed’s only talking point is cutting VAT, which will only make TV’s a bit cheaper.

    Cutting VAT is a waste of time, most key things are either zero VAT rated or have a lower rate of VAT.

    Cutting fuel duty by a large chunk is what people want.


  39. 121
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    “Sometimes you feel like you could look back and wonder ‘what if?’. And when I think back myself to May 2010, when the UK deficit was at 11% and I try to imagine what the situation would be like today if no such fiscal consolidation programme had been decided… I shiver.”

    I wonder why 2 Ed’s 2 beds Flanders doesn’t think this comment is more relevant than some made up story about VAT?


  40. 122
    Bunsen Honeydew MP says:

    Spin this:

    “IMF tells Britain: If your economy fails to recover, it’s time for plan B”


    • 129
      Distraught master & commander says:

      Lagarde did a fine job when she ran the French economy, last time with a balanced budget 1975 spin that christine, piss off and get your manifesto ready fpr the next Fr presidential elections


  41. 128
    Incapable Vince says:


    • 132
      Calamity Clegg says:


      • 144
        Gordon Brownstainovich says:

        I agree with Nick!


      • 155
        Anonymous says:

        We’ve got the Tories desperately wanting to sound like LibDems, and the LibDems desperately NOT wanting to sound like Tories. This cockalition just isn’t fucking working.


      • 165
        Raving Loon says:

        It’s great that UKIP are polling above the LibDems, but our political system offers no reward for thinly spread support. UKIP needs to concentrate its efforts in a few specific constituencies to get a foothold in parliament. I would suggest a few Tory seats where the people realise the Tories are fake conservatives.


  42. 133
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Here we go again, Newsnight having a go at a private sector company about the pay of its boss.

    Note how the BBC never EVER has a go at the pay of top people in the public sector, union bosses or of course BBC presenters or managers.

    When it comes to them, they according to the BBC appear to be above criticism


    • 164
      I don't need no doctor says:

      How very true. As a license fee payer funded organisation the BBC should state it’s own pay structure before critisising others.


  43. 134
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Rachel Reeves and Chloe Smith on Newsnight, fuck me and we gave wimmin the vote for this?


    • 139
      FFS ! says:

      Thats nothin have you heard Lynne Featherson FFS !!!!


    • 147
      not a machine says:

      I wasnt sure if it was just some long stare competetion held by two very rare giant tortoises , with Emily in a Bi keeni holding the round placards . First for me not wanting to discuss , I aprreciate Ed Balls and underling Rachel have been annoying and pompus since 2010 (certainly before in one case) , and in some of the earlier press moments I think i would have took my coat off and given him 12 rounds even if after 2 he was unconcious I wouldnt have stopped , such was the rage he invoked . I have now settled at the conclusion that he is some sort of bluffer , in a party of bluffers , getting by by being creative with catch phrases rather than honesty or truth about the situation , In short before i used to think he prtended to be an idiot , now I am convinced he wants to be one .

      Deputy PMQs was different in that it was more sparky than useual poison , I could hardly stop laughing at Harriets question and Even Nick got some brusing subitles in and Mark Harper did very well . Mr Bone perhaps managing top rating although Harriets question was hard to swallow.

      Best regards to PM , hope he understands how trench foot occures , best look at Mosiure Hollandes boots see if hes got the symptoms early ……………..


    • 148
      margaret thatcher esq says:

      well fuck me and we gave men the vote – just how stupid are they?


      • 162
        I don't need no doctor says:

        Speaking from my personal experience, I’m very stupid.


        • 163
          I don't need no doctor says:

          Spe aking from my personal experience, I’m very stupid. Just proved it p e a.


  44. 136
    Shafted Sucker says:

    I voted!

    They fucked me!

    Fuck them!



  45. 140
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Media luvvies don’t get it do they? Who cares if a bank goes bust you’ll get your money back? How long will that take and would you trust the Government not to rip you off? Would you also get the interest?

    Take your money out and stick it under the mattress at least you can get to it when you want.


    • 157
      Tory Party RIP - Killed by Camoron says:


      If the Equitable Life fiasco is anything to go by, you could be waiting 15+ years to get your money back. Probably without interest, so inflation would have taken a pretty hefty chunk out of it.


  46. 146
    not a machine says:

    The PM says “its a slow driver less car crash” mmmm interesting analogy

    Ms Lagarde has some praise for UKs decisive action , couldnt agree more voting the ruin and his socisliast lot out , was about the best decisive action Th Uk has done for decades, but is worried about Uk growth stalling . Given That IMF is in town for Uk presentation , perhaps IMF couldnt make stark comparisons between othe countries , and the fact that we had done rather well ………. .
    News tonight says we are looking at eurobonds , I quite liked eurobonds when we didnt seem so much in a fix , as way of raising money for infrastructure , Uk infrastructure bonds may work well , but I have doubts about eurobonds , purely ongrounds on where does it end , nor it being able to sort economic imbalances which dont disapper even if growth does come back .

    I suppose there are three scenarios for the PM/UK , given the nature of some the brussels pact that exist they could come up with somthing so awful , that it may be the last time a Uk PM is considered worth asking , as Full tilt fiscal union and monetry union must be on , ie more of europe as solution and I dont think we should cross that bridge , which will indicate some parting of journey has occured and we have a Lisbon clause 50 moment (I dont know if a Similar clause exists in maastricht but you never know yer luck) . Of course being kicked out is rather different to leaving in terms of History , we give £50mn a day to the EU , they take 25% and give us the rest back , mmm could create quite a bit of infastructure or Uk jobs with extra £4mn a day from EU, you would have thought the libdems would be russhing to that idea of making EU squeeze to keep childcare cheaper or make more jobs , but they hardly mention it …… :0 .
    The other two possibilities are more to do with actual plan EU comes up with , the PM could of course return and think it best putting such large unprovable ecnomic theory to quick referendum , I would imagine signing anything that gives over UK GDP isnt on ,yet of all the must do EU meetings this one must surely be it . and yet so far it lacks so much creative genius , as the previous ones seem to have had , I mean why on earth will growth change the ecnomic difference problems ??
    But that is all speculation , we shall have to see if what is done and said is any good .


  47. 151
    anonymous says:

    talking of spinninf, in what way is the behaviour of tory biy MPs democratic here?

    or is it a case of they dont like it up ‘em???

    tory boys really are fucking bastards


  48. 153
    albacore says:

    What’s important is, these days, only spin
    There’s nowt else Parliament’s competent in
    So Fawkes is right to bang on about Susie
    She’s a VIP, not some PR floozie
    While the toytown Tories twiddle their thumbs
    It’s her chore, somehow, to whitewash the bums


    • 154
      Swift says:

      Spin is only considered important because it is treated as such. Spin doctors shold always be treated as the liars they are and not allowed to give unattributable quotes. When they speak they should be named. When they lie they should be named and shamed.

      Its still a boring post and Guido used to be able to do better, but now he’s a celebrity with a fame habit to support it may be hard for him. Show some humanity, some compassion. Its hard living off table scraps from the rich and powerful.


  49. 156
    The public says:



  50. 158
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    Well, well, well, acording to the caring sharing beeb, there is in our schools, amoungst our young folk, incidents of name calling and fights!!!!!

    So good on the beeboids for stiring this situation up so we get the state to step in before this gets out of hand.

    Because this could leed to bragging and/or sillyness.


  51. 166
    WVM says:

    Markets have dropped of a cliff again this morning, I’m guessing Merkel must be pulling faces again.


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,647 other followers