May 15th, 2012

Shome Mishtake, Shurely?

Private Eye                                  Guido Fawkes

Sir, I wonder if any of your readers have noticed the striking resemblance between this week’s front cover and our own site four day ago. Could they by any chance be related?


  1. 1
    Enough says:

    What has she been convicted of?


    • 3
      Tuscan Tony says:

      Being more ginger than Mick Hucknall, isn’t that enough to be getting on with?


      • 7
        Scrobs... says:

        Salem used to be a damn good fag…

        Although you might not understand that at this particular moment…


        • 42
          Vichy Dave - Cicero Knows Him says:


          For that kind of cash I assume she gets her baps out on page three?


          • Jeremy C'unt says:

            Dearest Rebecca, Dave sends his deepest commiserations. He can’t pass them on himself as he’s working harder. Always with the jokes, good old Dave.

            Could you give us both some guidance about how to present ourselves best at Levinson.

            My boyfriend says you didn’t realise that when you didn’t answer questions they were taken by Jay and Levinson as answers in the affirmative but I say that this is bollocks.

            You, like me, are clearly a person of honesty and integrity. LOL.


          • Anonymous says:

            Evil bitch. Serving soldiers and Milly etc were hacked on her watch. Witch doesn’t begin to describe the foul creature.


          • Media Police State says:

            Lets see what comes out at the Trial, Lets see who grasses who. Cmon Rebekka you Know you want too. Give us the TRUTH about Bliar and IRAQ,, I am sure we might forgive you, a bit


    • 10
      Scrobs... says:

      Curly red hair and big lips…


    • 13
      The beautiful Mensch Machine says:

      Bad taste in PJs for all we know.


    • 63
      I can't be arsed to think up a new pseudonym says:

      Christ – bad hair day alert.


    • 97
      Grrr says:

      Can anyone explain to me why only News Inernational people have been charged.

      Wasn’t this being done at the Guardian and Mirror as well?

      Looks rather silly to me.


  2. 2
    The beautiful Mensch Machine says:

    Jeez.. Is PE £1.50


  3. 4
    Steve Miliband says:

    Does Order Order have the copywright for ‘Salem Witch Trial’


  4. 5
    Soothsayer says:

    That hair does it for me.

    Keep your filthy hands off her.


  5. 8
    FartingHippo says:

    “Two People Make Same Obvious Connection Shocker”

    Cont. p94.


    • 78
      MONGTASTIC says:

      I agree, this website would be so much more interesting without the article, he should delete it immediately.


  6. 9
    Politicians are CUNTS says:

    I have no feelings either way about Rebekah Brooks but wouldn’t it be nice if she torpedoed the HoC/HoL and blew a fucking great hole in the massed assembly of politicians in this country??

    It would indeed be a bonus if the same were happen to the police and the Met in particular.

    I hate the bastards at the top of our country – the malign elements who devour our spirit and pride and take all of our money, cheapening us as criminals and scroungers, whilst living the high life at OUR FUCKING EXPENSE


    • 16
      Labour never did anything wrong - honest! says:

      Got that right mate!


    • 39
      Justice Fingers says:



    • 57
      Starvin Marvin says:

      Pleased to see you have no feelings either way. Feelings would have ruined an otherwise excellent rant.


      • 62
        Handycock Capo di Capo Portsmouth says:

        It is wrong to comment on any aspect of Rebekah’s current difficulties as they are sub judice. For the same reason, it is also wrong to comment on anything about me, as it could soon be sub judice. Jahbulon.


        • 102
          Curious Yellow says:

          …but you would have a go at her wouldn’t you Handy? Might be a challenge but worth the teddy bear.


    • 100
      Dai Harvards Bald Wig. says:

      Now Now. Im an MP amd I deserve every penny I get.


  7. 11
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Ed Testicles was on the BBC yet again today (Radio 5) spouting once again the same old bollocks about how austerity isn’t working. The female beeboid presenter and her dumb male sidekick sounded like two little kids sitting cross legged in front of their teacher nodding and agreeing with everything he said.

    Not once did female say “but your tax and spend mentality was was trashed out economy leaving the NHS unable to fund the PFI schemes or off book debt as it’s called, you sold off our gold for next to nothing and you failed to put any money aside in the good years and employed a million extra people in the public sector doing non jobs…and that’s your plan to get us out of the mess now!!!”


  8. 12
    Some Geezer wot wants to be a (Haw)thorn(e) in PE's side says:

    Great minds think alike. Preferably not sequentially, though.


  9. 15
    Loungelizard says:

    This Lady is a smart operator, right? she must be. So when she wanted to loose the laptops why didn’t she put them in a black bin bag and leave it in the office of a certain high ranking police officer, it would have never been found.


  10. 17
    Nige says:


  11. 18
    Bumsex Marriage in da good old US of fucking A! says:


    • 79
      The Iilluminati of Bohemian Grove says:

      RAMZIPAUL ??

      Is that a bastardisation of Ron Paul ??.

      If so is this self confessed retard actually replacing Uncle Ron to go up against Moronic Mitt ?? Life gets easier every day.


  12. 19
    Lobbyisht says:

    What, because you’re the only one who’s read Miller?


    • 21
      The beautiful Mensch Machine says:

      I thought it was a film first … with that wynona shoplifter girl


  13. 20
    Poncho says:

    Is someone playing a colour card?


  14. 22
    Labour Prospective Parliamentary Candidate says:


  15. 23
    davidc says:

    shum mishtak shorley !

    (contd page 94)


    • 61
      Danny Dead Veeto says:

      No Mishtake and who yah callin’ Shorty!!

      ( Arnie my brother — sort this Limey out !!)


  16. 28
    I love the FT says:

    You don’t think Hislop reads Guido do you?


    • 64
      Pete And Dud says:

      No — I think he “kneads ” Paul Ho- Merton

      ( Bet you even money you don’t let this one through Moddy — shall we say a lunch at Tidly Dol’s ?)


      • 75
        Hawweeit says:

        That’s sexist.


      • 76
        Airey Belvoir says:

        I don’t think that Guido does much of the posting on here anymore, he is rising above such things, (columns in the Times, y’know.) With every mainstream telly appearance he is being drawn ever further into the seductive, warm, comforting bosom of the Establishment. It will be young Harry who has noticed the Eye cover.


    • 71
      Tardkiller says:

      Hislop hates guido


      • 83
        Paul Merton says:

        Does double take and pulls suprised face.

        Handpicked BBC audience collapses in hysterical laughter.


  17. 29
    Gordon Brown says:

    I am a hero


  18. 30
    Burn her!!!!! says:


  19. 32
    Fur Trade Fare Trader Of Fair Trade Private Eyes says:

    Eyes 1 to Infinity FOC


  20. 36
    Prescott says:

    I prefer PE.

    I cant wipe my arse on the internet


  21. 40
    Gerry Mandering says:

    Please cancel my subscription!


    • 69
      Disgusted of Purley says:

      I don’t have a subscription, so I’m going to take one out so I can cancel it.


  22. 43
    Porridge Munchers says:


    • 47
      Labour never did anything wrong - honest! says:

      Just found out the scotch are the most miserable of b*st*rds?


      • 65
        George Bushel says:

        There ARe no entrepreneurs in North west England!

        (For Godssakes it ain’t even a French word ! )


        • 72
          Henry Brubaker says:

          Oi! Im a entrepreneur in the NW of england.

          Im fucking shit mind……minimum wage would a pay raise at the moment.


  23. 48
    Cicero says:

    Didn’t Ian Hislop once say political blogs were useless? PE used to be hard-hitting and original, at one time. Mind you, that was before Hislop got ATGW (Achingly Trendy Global Warming) disease – it’s clearly affected his brain.


    • 68
      Starvin Marvin says:

      That’s what ATGW does, it melts your brain.


    • 98
      Gordon 'Smiler' Brown says:

      From Wikipedia: “Hislop applied to read Philosophy, Politics and Economics at Oxford, but changed to English Literature before arriving. He graduated from Oxford’s Magdalen College with the degree of BA”

      So really he’s no different to the rest of the ‘elite’ Civil Servants and HoC scum, he can’t do sums.

      I, however, specialised in History of the Labour Party in EdinburgerNchips which is why my many, many, many *grits teeth* years stint as Chancellor will forever be seen as a Golden Shower.


      *Shakes head*
      If only I hadn’t inherited such a shitty economy from the Tories

      …England I think it’s called.

      *Mutters “What a bunch of bigots”*


      • 105
        Economics Graduate says:

        “So really he’s no different to the rest of the ‘elite’ Civil Servants and HoC scum, he can’t do sums.”

        Is this factual? That all those who opt for Arts degrees have a numerical inadequacy which prevents them from “doing sums”? Is it also true, then, that all those with Science degrees are incapable of constructing a sentence?


  24. 51
    Lou Scannon says:

    I could have sworn you once said that you never read the Eye – or is it that you only ever look at the cover ?


  25. 52
    The Gnomeson inquiry says:

    Dear Guido,

    Do you perchance have any photographs of an older man wearing a vest whilst in the company of a pretty young lady ?


  26. 56
    lol says:

    I wouldn’t credit yourself.


  27. 59
    Barber of Seville says:

    As I ‘ve said before that hair is really a safe house refuge for colonies of asylum seeking St Pierre & Michelon termites.

    Get a perm Becks with a K !!


  28. 67
    Abdel from Tooting says:

    Mrs Brooks says she is innocent.

    I believe her because she was editor of the Sun and the Sun has never ever lied.

    The Sun is a great bastion of Englishness and long may its present regime continue outing fraud corruption and sexual Peccadilloes without fear or favour.

    Bring on the trial sooner rather than later.

    I hope it gets on before the Huhnes.


  29. 73
    Gloone says:

    Why are half of Guido’s stories about himself these days?


  30. 77
    The Papal Index Finger says:

    Look it’s quite straightforward we’ve been doing it for milllenia.

    Throw her in the river ( you must have one worthy of the name in Engel unless they have all been tainted with martyred blood).

    If she floats she’a a witch and gets burned .

    If she drowns … er … sorry !


  31. 80
    DO NOWT DAVE says:

    I have the up most respect for the British Justice system
    That is why i made cash payments to police officers

    This weak and feeble case against me ?

    “Yes i made payments to police officers”

    She would fit right into the set of Cell Block H


  32. 82
    National Socialist says:

    So France has voted for Holland. Is it Eurovision already?


    • 84
      Jane Birkin from Paris says:

      It will be nothing like Eurovision. More like Fred Carnos.

      Mark my words.

      On day one he manages to get soaked without a coat at the Arc de Triomphe, treats all his old socialist pals to a taxpayer funded lunch at the Elysee Palace,takes time out in his speech to have a pop at Sarko and then gets struck by lightning.


    • 85
      thick as a ginger editor says:

      I dont understand this french election thing.. Does this guy have any power and whats this new prime minister who seems to have appeared..Is he the queen?


      • 92
        Jane Birkin from Paris says:

        The Prime Minister appears to have been appointed mainly because he speaks fluent German.

        Flamby has also promised sexual equality in his new Government. I wonder from where he got this idea?

        They are now scraping the barrel to find some women. Edith Cresson was even on the scene today .

        Also do not forget Miss Delors who prefers to be known as Madame Aubray.


    • 90
      Anonymous says:

      Monsieur Darwin’s Theory Of French natyural selection:







  33. 89
    Cato Street Conspirator says:


  34. 91
    Anonymous says:

    “Turnabout is fair play” as the Americans say…

    No, I have no idea what it means either…


  35. 96
    Posh kids are killing music... says:

    Leave him alone!
    Having backed him on Observe in the Cheltenham Foxhunters back in 1987 and I can confirm that he’s a straight as straight can be.


  36. 104
    God says:

    Just how the awful Brooks ever became “chief executive” of anything remains a mystery to me!


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