May 7th, 2012

Rich & Mark’s Monday Morning View


193 Comments

  1. 1
    UKIPMAN says:

    Bonjour trivia.

    Like

    • 20
      Liarpoliticians says:

      It’s all over already.

      Like

    • 38
      Rage Against the Political Elite says:

      What a shame the Social Science experiment. Feminism. Single Parent. Over reliant population sucking of the POLICE STATE TIT. Blair was told Terrorizing the population dosn’t work. Its being tried in MEXICO and look at the State of the place.
      May I say in MAY it is all OVER. ha ha hahaha hah.
      What a fu-king mess you Political C-nts have created. What a complete and utter BALLS up.

      Like

      • 87
        Rage Against the Political Elite says:

        The same old Shit. From the Same badly educated Twats who pretend to run the country. Have none of them worked it out yet. If you keep on the same path that Fu-ked the economy in the first place, why would they believe that its going to get any better. I mean dellusional or what?
        We need BIG ideas from BIG thinkers not the Brain washed Educated Fools that we have at the moment. What the fu-k are the FRENCH doing. If thats going to make things better????

        Like

        • 93
          Soupdragon says:

          Huhne or Hoon?

          Like

          • Anonymous says:

            Now that the govt have participant status at Levinson and apparently can redact witness statements I doubt anything will come out.

            Smells of a cover up to me after Jeremy Cnut fiasco.

            Like

          • Sad Tory says:

            It would seem that Cameron and Osborne have spent more time trying to meet James Murdoch’s list of demands re the BBC and Ofcom than salvaging our economy.

            I’m a lifelong Tory but I’m also British and it saddens me to see 2 incompetents claim to be sorting out the debt mess left by the last government but after 2 years in government be borrowing £150 billion because they’re more interested in Murdoch and their place in history, i.e. his support in losing another election, than sorting out our country.

            Osborne’s almost apology on Marr for how he communicated the budget was laughable. He and Alexander should be apologising for their contribution to the mess the country is in.

            Like

          • Anonymous says:

            Has’nt Leveson been one of Camerons dinner guests?

            Like

    • 96
      Popeye says:

      KABOOM!

      Like

  2. 2
    bald old git says:

    Can’t do backgrounds anymore?

    Like

  3. 3
    Faturd Watson says:

    It’s Rebeka Brookes. The likeness is uncanny except she looks more evil in real life.

    Like

  4. 4
    illogical says:

    Your best yet R + M
    Who or what is it?

    Like

  5. 5
    Icarus says:

    Actually -a very good one!!

    Like

  6. 7
    Twatson doesn't like being mocked says:

    Has Watson started a vendetta campaign against Clarkson yet?

    Like

  7. 9
    Fatùrd Watson says:

    It is Rebeka Brookes and the image is so like her except she looks more evil in real life.

    Like

    • 36
      Suburban Hillbilly says:

      Rebecca Brooke’s?! I though it was Guido Fawkes without his hat on, brought forward to the modern era!

      Like

  8. 10
    Nigel Ponsonby- Smallpiece says:

    Well, I’ve just risen to find our day is a Bank Holiday. Me thinks a prime opportunity to take over the banks whilst they are all away, What?

    By the way, the BBC are recommending everyone to stay in their potting sheds as well. Something to do with global warming.

    Have a happy one you scoundrels

    Like

  9. 11
    Sir Trumpton Oldtwat says:

    Is Alice Cooper suicidal?

    Like

    • 165
      Marmite says:

      That’s it Sir Trumpton – it’s Alice Cooper with a bad hair dye. Thank you sir, I thought it was witchypoo.

      Like

  10. 12
    Fiin says:

    Two years after admitting bribing public officials in parliament on tv and she still walks the streets.

    Like

    • 42
      Squeeky clean says:

      To put it another way, that’s two years our bent politicians, police, and judges have been walking the streets without any charges against them.

      Like

      • 112
        Sir Aston Martin says:

        Careful with those accusations of street-walking, Fiin, unless you have proof.

        Like

  11. 13
    How to bytch on the phone says:

    It is too an attractive image to be that nasty bytch Brookes.

    Like

  12. 14
    John Prescott says:

    Why is everyone banging on about Hollande? I prefer salad cream.

    Like

  13. 15
    jgm2 says:

    For the love of God Guido.

    Okay, enough. In the exact reverse of a caption competition, if you contact me I will personally send you a book on drawing caricatures so you can hand it to ‘Rich and Mark’ or do ‘em yourself.

    Like

  14. 16
    confused.cock says:

    Bianca from eastenders ??? no

    Like

  15. 17
    Infuriated of West Mids says:

    Anne Robinson’s let herself go.

    Like

  16. 18
    Socialjizzm says:

    Like

    • 25
      jgm2 says:

      Do they normally have to go to meetings like alcoholics and stand around in a circle introducing themselves. Hello, I am Francois Hollande and I am a socialist…

      Like

      • 117
        Engineer says:

        We now have the slightly mind-boggling prospect of the UK becoming a tax haven for French high-earners (though in fairness, there are not many French high-earners). Which will help the UK economy a smidgen, even if it does slow the growth of the French economy.

        Where’s the downside?

        Like

        • 127
          Anonymous says:

          Engineer has returned upon the election of a french socialist president. Can’t be a coincidence surely.

          Like

        • 186
          barrowboy says:

          Bit like the French Revolution days. Imagine a Guillotine in Leicester Sq. Oh just imagine. OK back to work.

          Like

      • 126
        smoggie says:

        “..and I haven’t spent a Euro of my own for 15 years, 3 months and two hours.”

        Like

    • 26
      UKIPMAN says:

      It won’t sound so good in a few months when the French economy goes into Grecian-style meltdown.

      Like

    • 47
      Distraught master & commander says:

      Thats bollox socialists tax at 100% not 75%

      Like

    • 76
      Fur Trade Fare Trader Of Fair Trade Fair Shares says:

      EURO DISNEY À la baisse -7,87%
      PAGESJAUNES À la baisse -7,01%
      CREDIT AGRICOLE À la baisse -5,90%

      Like

    • 99
      Icarus says:

      I had a socialist in my cab once – Tony, Tony something no its gone!

      Like

    • 101
      Ah! Monika says:

      Markets plunge as French and Greek elections renew debt fears!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      Like

    • 163
      inside- out says:

      “I want your money in extra taxes”, how good that sounds replied Hollande.

      Like

  17. 19
    Monsewer Hed Multiwagon says:

    Madame La Guillotine “Let zem eat cak!

    Like

  18. 21
    Synic says:

    The papers have always rooted around in the stinking gutters to expose the corrupt lying politicians. That is their unattractive job.
    The whole Leveson expensive farce is really about the political establishment trying to prevent or restrict future exposure of themselves.

    Like

    • 68
      Hugh Janus says:

      “The papers have always rooted around in the stinking gutters to expose the corrupt lying politicians.”

      On that basis the dead-tree press can look forward to a long and prosperous future. Talk of their imminent demise is clearly premature.

      Like

    • 164
      inside- out says:

      I bet Cameron won’t think that if a few racy texts emerge that he has sent! He was texting up to 12 times a day infantile prat.

      Like

  19. 22
    jgm2 says:

    For the love of God Guido.

    Okay, enough. In the exact reverse of a caption competition, if you contact me I will personally send you a book on drawing caricatures so you can hand it to ‘Rich and Mark’ or do ‘em yourself.

    Like

  20. 23
    Le Twatter says:

    Like

  21. 24
    Socialjizzm says:

    Like

    • 35
      jgm2 says:

      It’s their egregious self-proclamation of utter fucking stupidity that does my ‘ed in. They might as well send a twitter message saying ‘I am a fucking moron’.

      What is it now? Fifth Republic? Sixth Republic?

      Like

    • 41
      jgm2 says:

      New age of the ‘S’ word? Aye, ‘shit’. We just had 13 years of that.

      Like

    • 144
      Well it's a thought says:

      Didn’t they say all that crap when Obambi took control in the USA, now I wonder what’s happening in that country hmmmm.

      Like

    • 149
      how to pauperise the nation in five easy steps? says:

      It really cheered me up no end when Gordon said, “no more boom , we’re busted”, or summat like that. Whatever the question was, socialism is the answer.

      Like

  22. 27
    Hope you're listening, CCHQ, 'cos Dave bloody well isn't says:
    
    MM   MM      A      K  K   EEEEE
    M M M M     A A     K K    E
    M  M  M    AAAAA    KK     EEEE
    M     M   A     A   K  K   E
    M     M  A       A  K   K  EEEEE
     
     CCCC      A      MM   MM  EEEEE  RRRR    OOOO   NN    N
    C         A A     M M M M  E      R   R  O    O  N N   N
    C        AAAAA    M  M  M  EEEE   RRRR   O    O  N  N  N
    C       A     A   M     M  E      R  R   O    O  N   N N
     CCCC  A       A  M     M  EEEEE  R   R   OOOO   N    NN
    
    H   H  I   SSSS  TTTTT  OOOO   RRRR   Y   Y
    H   H  I  S        T   O    O  R   R   Y Y
    HHHHH  I   SSS     T   O    O  RRRR     Y
    H   H  I      S    T   O    O  R  R     Y
    H   H  I  SSSS     T    OOOO   R   R    Y
    

    Like

    • 32
      CCHQ says:

      Make Cameron his tory? Whose tory? His neighbour’s tory? His driver’s tory? Help us out here.

      Like

    • 77
      Fur Trade Fare Trader Of Fair Trade Fair Opinions says:

      But Who to replace him with? That is the question

      Like

    • 83
      David Cameron says:

      Yes Yes Yes

      I hear what you say

      As you know we are dispensing with changing the Lords and all that crap and working hard to get the economy right. We still have at least 3 years to sort things out and I promise we will do that. I’m off to see the new French President tomorrow, I’m sure we will work well together. So there you have it. I will deal with the problems that beset us as a nation, even if it is me, and we will rise like a phoenix from the ashes to a new dawn, a new economy and a new spirit – because it’s the Olympics soon and I’ve got great seats.

      Like

    • 116
      Sir Aston Martin says:

      Just as a matter of interest, how long did that take you? Or did you use an ASCII-art generator? Probably not, as you messed up the first row. O my Gawd! Didn’t you know there was such a thing as an ASCII-art generator? How galling is that? Would’ve taken all of 15 seconds :-)

      Like

      • 157
        Hope you're listening, CCHQ, 'cos Dave bloody well isn't says:

        Watch out or I’ll have your lackey banned.

        Like

  23. 29
    Fatùrd Watson says:

    The sleazy politicians don’t what the gutter press exposing them for what they really. Pondlife, all of them, vile, nasty and corrupt.

    Like

  24. 33
    Fatùrd Watson says:

    The sleazy politicians don’t what the gutter press exposing them for what they really are. Pondlife, all of them, vile, nasty and corrupt.

    Like

    • 39
      UKIPMAN says:

      But amateurs compared to those across the channel.

      Like

      • 55
        jgm2 says:

        We’re constantly told (by our politicians) how, although there may be the occasional bad egg that, compared to X, Y, Z country they’re actually whiter than white.

        I think it’s just the same conditioning techniques that has the BBC proclaiming themselves the most neutral broadcaster on the planet. I’m of the opinion that British politicians are every bit as corrupt as anything the French or Italians can come up with. How else do we explain a government inheriting a golden economy in 1997 and by 2007 turning it into an utter clusterfuck? Sheer incompetence? Possibly. But when you consider the Imbecility (1997 – 2010) through the lens of parliamentary expenses used to build up and renovate massive personal property portfolios then you begin to understand how personal corruption blinded them to the effect on the entire UK economy.

        The Imbecility was nothing more than the Labour MPs (including the PM) insider dealing on perpetual house pr*i*ce rises. And how did they engineer such rises? Create a million new public sector jobs to compete for the housing. Shower the public sector with cash to further boost competition. Import a few million to further increase competition. Turn a blind eye to house pr*i*ce inflation. Slash interest rates any time house pr*i*ces look like flagging.

        Naaah, I won’t hear a word said against British politicians. They’re every bit as corrupt as their Europ*ean counterparts.

        Like

        • 62
          UKIPMAN says:

          They are every bit as stupid I agree. But I don’t think they are as corrupt for the simple reason that British people do not accept corruption and quite rightly make a huge song and dance about it. Whether it be Brown, Clegg, Livingstone, Cameron, Murdoch, expenses, postal voting fraud etc.

          On the continent the public in many countries just accept corruption as a way of life.

          Like

          • Synic says:

            Quite. It’s not the fault of our wonderful police when they condescend to accept bribes, it’s those wicked newspaper hacks that are responsible.

            Like

          • jgm2 says:

            And postal voting fraud doesn’t really matter. And it never happens anyway.

            And if it does then it’s certainly not to Labour’s advantage. Fuck no.

            Like

        • 63
          Midas Tony says:

          What’s the problem. Cherie and I did very nicely thank you.

          Like

    • 48
      Synic says:

      Quite. The scum floats on top.

      Like

  25. 40
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    I see Crystal Tips but where is Alistair ;-)

    Like

  26. 45
    Saltpetre says:

    Crystal Tips hd really let herself go.

    Like

  27. 49
    Steve Miliband says:

    Have the BBC returned from Paris yet? Why the hell do they think I want to listen to a live broadcast of the new President’s motorcade and dull speech on the radio on a sunday evening?

    Bet the corridors were strewn with champagne bottles celebrating the return of socialism

    Like

    • 53
      FrankFisher says:

      You could hear the congratulatory jizz slithering down the studio window on the Today prog this morning.

      For the BBC, borrowing, borrowing, borrowing, printing money, then borrowing some more is a rational and foolproof economic policy. Paying your debts is just something the little people do…

      Like

      • 67
        Steve Miliband says:

        Why was Evan Davis in Paris exactly? What extra insight did he bring by being there?

        as Boris’s spinner says

        Lynton Crosby ‏ @LyntonKCrosby
        How does the BBC describe Hollande’s 52:48pc win as “clear” and “decisive” but Boris Johnson’s 51.5:48.5pc as “narrow”? Tax funded bias?

        Like

        • 108
          Le Crescent de Mornington says:

          They also conveniently omitted to report the official and definitive result which puts Hollande on only 51.6% (down from 52).

          Fidler-Simpson was at his pompous and sneeringly arrogant best this morning, deriding Sarkozy ad nauseam.

          Like

        • 191
          Quantrill says:

          Mme le Penne could have held power but sadly advised her supporters not to vote. Question is, if that sizeable chunk of the electorate did not vote then what kind of mandate does Hollande have with his miserable 3.4% ? Very little I suspect. Now watch France fall apart.

          As pointed out above, the BBC continues to deride Boris Johnson’s 62,000 majority as “slim” bur Hollande’s tiny win as “overwhelming”.

          Like

      • 156
        Must get a pseudonym one day says:

        The BBC’s ‘Return of Socialism’ Party got so carried away that Evan Davies ended up shagging Stephanie Flanders………

        OK, maybe that was a bit too far-fetched, but you get the drift.

        Like

    • 57
      I only asked says:

      They haven’t notice that in place of MER(kelsar)KOZY we now have MER(kelhollan)DE

      Like

    • 78
      Anonymous says:

      Evan Davis was in Paris for the same reason John Humphries was in Athens.

      It makes a nice Bank Holiday trip, on expenses ‘natch.

      Like

    • 85
      FUCK!! says:

      …….. and UKIP is the answer??????????????????????????????????

      Like

    • 104
      TF says:

      The 3hour Presidential debate on BBC Parliament on Saturday night was a good one. I’m sure everyone in the UK was able to understand it without subtitles.

      Like

  28. 54
    Synic says:

    Do it Rebekah. Dish all the dirt on Dave and the rest. Go for it big time.

    Like

    • 75
      The horse had to go..... says:

      ” Raisa” just knew too much ….now she’s tins of Whiskas in the local Sainsbury’s at Chipping Norton…….

      Like

    • 119
      Phil says:

      Be careful what you wish for. The dirt and there’s tons of it was accumulated under Labour’s 13 years at the helm culminating in the unedifying report that Brown was declaring war on his erstwhile best mate in the press.

      Like

  29. 56
    A small object of desire says:

    Quite flattering. For a Gorgon.

    Like

  30. 70
    Ginga Minge says:

    Merhollande? Doesn’t really sound as good as Merkozy. France is going to hell in a handcart.

    Like

  31. 74
    John from Hull and Damnation says:

    Phwooooaaarrrh!!! who’s that bit a skirt?? She looks a goer! I’d have her in trice!

    Them red things hanging round her – they jingle do they? – I could get them ringing!!!!!!

    Phwoooarrrh!!!!

    When’s me next breakfast???

    Like

  32. 79
    Feminist Theory says:

    Leave her alone she is on her period. Misogynists!

    Like

  33. 80
    I can't be arsed to think up a new pseudonym says:

    Are those zits on her gingery mush?

    Like

  34. 84
    French Breadcrumbs says:

    75% tax for the rich in France. Jeez!

    Like

  35. 90
    Fur Trade Fare Trader Of Fair Trade Fair Cheats says:

    Illegal immigrant benefits fraudster keeps Chelsea flat
    HUMAN rights laws mean mum who fiddled more than £30k can stay in the country, live in her council flat and keep claiming benefits

    Read more: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/#ixzz1uAjs9E2V

    Like

  36. 92
    Bob Crow says:

    I wood lyke 2 cungrachoolate mi mayte Monsure Holandaise 4 hiz stuning vicktori in Frenchland. Soshellism is bak!

    Like

  37. 97
    Ah! Monika says:

    “Head teachers say they will disrupt a new spelling, grammar and punctuation test to be introduced in England’s primary schools next summer.”

    A’s if the speling gramer and punktuation on hear wasnt bad enuff allready

    Like

  38. 105
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    That might be Rebekah, but it doesn’t look like Sunnybrook Farm.

    Like

  39. 106
    SIR EVERARD PENIS QC says:

    Well this weekend has been full of surprises
    Shortazy out
    Greek pro austerity part out
    and a cartoon by Skid@Mark that i actually know who’s in it , although the picture does do her too much justice

    Like

  40. 107
    Dave the Rave has lost the plot says:

    I will hoover your knickers if you don’t keep mum

    Omerta is the word of the week

    Like

    • 115
      Greg Barking Barker says:

      Hoovers use less energy than washing machines. You know it makes sense.

      Like

  41. 109
    SIR EVERARD PENIS QC says:

    Although i think Skid@Mark have stolen the image from the Chrystal tips and Alistair family album

    Like

  42. 111
    annette curton says:

    Bomb disposal unit goes out on strike.

    Like

  43. 118
    The Tosser in No 10 says:

    I say chaps!!!!! My jolly chum Joules says the common people think we’re a bunch of aHuntants!!!

    Well that’s bally well not true!! I don’t know the first thing about money – except I know I’ve got plenty !!! watt? Wattage?? Watter!!! Ha hah ha hah !!!!!!

    Like

  44. 121
    The Tosser in No 10 says:

    I say chaps!!!!! My jolly chum Joules says the common people think we’re a bunch of aċuntants!!!

    Well that’s bally well not true!! I don’t know the first thing about money – except I know I’ve got plenty !!! watt? Wattage?? Watter!!! Ha hah ha hah !!!!!!

    Like

  45. 130
    Hang The Bastards says:

    Camoron gutted his friend Sarkozy has been defeated.

    The MSM report this as the French no longer accepting austerity

    WRONG, the public won’t vote in those that are pro EU.

    Cameron, you are next

    Like

    • 142
      Le Crescent de Mornington says:

      Eh? Hollande and the PS are more pro-‘le projet européen’ than anyone else but, like all good socialists, they just want to spend other people’s money (in this case, Germany’s) without any responsibility for paying it back.

      Like

      • 189
        Widescreen2010 says:

        Remind me: what’s the French for ‘nail on the head’?
        Unfortunately for Hollande, Germany ain’t gonna hand over more cash so our French friends will have to look for credit elsewhere…
        It doesn’t matter, though, Hollande is Prez so it doesn’t matter what lies got him there.

        Like

    • 145
      David Camoron says:

      Thank you for contacting my office. I regret that I am currently writing today’s £50million cheque to cover our EU membership for another 24 hours. I will then spend the rest of today working out how I’m going to afford the EU directive ordering us to pay social security benefits to non-EU scroungers citizens, such as the 75million Turks who I want to come and live here.

      I will respond to your email on the 12th of Never.

      Dave xx.

      Like

  46. 133
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    It was me who first pointed out that the BBC were calling Hollande’s win as decisive but BoJo’s as narrow. If proof were needed ever of BBC bias that’s it.

    Like

    • 148
      The BBC says:

      Due to the unique way it’s funded, this unrelenting pro-Socialist propaganda is brought to you for only £145.50 per year.

      Why not pay by direct debit, so you can always be sure to catch the latest wonderful news about Glorious Labour and stay updated about the latest evil baby-eating nastiness of the Tory scum?

      Failure to pay your annual £145.50 propaganda charge may result in imprisonment.

      Like

  47. 136
    Legal Crook says:

    “You’re only supposed to blow the bloody head off” (Italian Job variation)

    Like

    • 146
      Le Crescent de Mornington says:

      …as Evan Davis was saying to Peter Mandelson only this morning…

      Like

  48. 137
    nellnewman says:

    Oh well the eu has nothing to fear now that gordon’hollande’brown has taken over the french economy.

    Like

  49. 141
    Angela says:

    It’s disturbing to see zat France just doesn’t do austerity unless it’s being bombed and invaded. A lesson zere for all of uz I think.

    Like

    • 159
      Jane Birkin from Paris says:

      Regardless of his politics Hollande only has half a brain which on the face of things would make him dangerous.

      The person to watch for is his mistress who is a ‘journalist’ for Paris Match. Shehas been dubbed ‘the rottweiler’.

      Although there was a classic opening gap on the Cac40 this morning I think it is definitely worth a short.

      Like

    • 185
      Serge Gainsbourg says:

      ” … austerity … ” mon petit choux ?? Don’t you mean Austerlitz??

      Like

  50. 147
    Widescreen2010 says:

    ‘kinell! That is not a pretty sight for a bank holiday monday morning.

    Like

  51. 176
    The Dirty Rat says:

    I would quite like to stroke her pony’s nose.

    Like

  52. 180
    Sir Merv. says:

    Do you think the Frogs will take me on to help print some Francs when the Fourth Reich pulls the plug on the Socialist Fiscal Ignoramuses? I’m soon to leave the B.of E. after forging £375bn or so. I’ve got a nice inflation proofed pension, so I can help them on the cheap for a bit until we’ve got the electronic printer set up. P.S. I still expect the peerage though Dave, before the H.o.L. is bxggxred up.

    Like

  53. 182
    Francois H. says:

    E-mail to new Prime Minister. Build Maginot Line 2. Lots of new planning and construction jobs for our electorate to thrive on. Economic problems instantly solved.

    Like

  54. 184
    Rebekah with a K says:

    This suicide thing is ok but what about my Will?

    Whilst I can remember my first name ( so distinctive ! ) I can’t seem to remember all /any of my surnames …..so I’ve compiled a little mnemonic :

    ” Wade into a Brook for Kemp ”

    That should do it … unless I marry again !!

    Like

  55. 193
    alexei romanov says:

    So dated,evidently you hide it in your knickers Rebekka!

    Like


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“Digger” Murdoch says:

Is it just me, or is Nigel Farage just a top hat and a monocle away from being a Batman villain?


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