May 5th, 2012

Boris Accepts, Ken Regrets


  1. 1

    First again

  2. 2
    Ah! Monika ( BBC () says:

    A British Polititian who tried to protect his voters being mauled by captive cheetah tells how the animals then turned on him

  3. 3

    Boris said “London is a city of 8 million people
    he polled 900,000 votes , i make that less than 9% of people want him
    not much of an endorsement really !

  4. 4
    Fifth column Camaron says:

    The question now is, can someone be the Mayor of London AND the leader of the Tory Party at the same time?

  5. 5
    Anonymous says:

    so Boris wins on 19.89% of the total population of London eligible to vote


    Given the population of London is about 400 million that makes 18 people voted for him

    Democracy at work in good old Blighty

  6. 6
    I fucking hate the bbc says:

    Thankfully this news came too late for last nights main bulletins and too early for tomorrow

  7. 7
    smoggie says:

    Ken’s failure was that he was too interested in his own company’s profit (may a piece be upon him).

  8. 8
    Fifth column Camaron says:

    But at least they were ‘real’ people….

  9. 9
    I fucking hate the bbc says:

    Yes 39per cent on a turnout of 30 with only a quarter of councils voting means ed has a huge mandate and liebour are back

  10. 10
    Yes we Ken says:

    400 million ? Do your sums !

  11. 11
    AC1 says:

    Try and work a bit harder this time Boris.

  12. 12
    AC1 says:

    One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.

  13. 13
    Postman Pat says:

    excellent point, very well made!

  14. 14
    By Passer says:

    Yes! – fuck OFF CAMERLOON!! – go back to smooth-talking double-glazing salesman or whatever you were doing before some idiots found you.

  15. 15
    Truth says:

    Ken was a bitter and twisted last night, Boris was class.

    When a candidate starts blaming the media then you know they lost it.

    At least Ken promised that this was he last election, just like he promised to pubish his taxes…

  16. 16
    beeny says:

    If Paddick had won, would he have been the Mayoress? Just wanted to clear that up as he mentioned his husband.

  17. 17
    The Bacon of Islum won't be coming to Londistan quite yet says:

    But we can hand-out bacon butties

  18. 18
    Unaligned voter says:

    London is the biggest loser.

  19. 19
    Anonymous says:

    You’re a twat.

  20. 20
    AC1 says:

    I think it dodged a Ken-shaped bullet.

  21. 21
    beeny says:

    Ken is a fucking piece of work. The BBC done him a favour by sparing him a grilling over his taxes on national television, and he knows it, duplicitous little shit that he is.

  22. 22
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    No. I am the biggest loser.

  23. 23
    beeny says:

    Perhaps you’d grace us with a sensible reply you fucking knob, it was Paddick who insisted on making the point of thanking his hubby. Technically that makes him the wife, shitface.

  24. 24
    The Bard of Tower Hamlets says:

    So long, then, Q’en Livingscum
    Though I expect to see you on my TV
    Courtesy of the BBC
    Quite often.

  25. 25
    Jimmy the Dhimmi says:

    The religion of piss will be back, next time with more postals.

  26. 26
    Legal Crook says:

    Just seen a News ken interview, still claiming he is by far the best, the crooked **** will never admit anything, just lies, lies…………………………….

  27. 27
    "Stonewall" Johnson says:

    Keep buggering on! For traditonal Conservative values, like two men taking each other up the aisle, taxpayer bail outs of billionaires and serial invasions of countries!

  28. 28
    Unaligned voter says:

    Good. I am no lover of Sky tbh.

  29. 29
    jgm2 says:

    Less is more from politicians.

    It’s when they’re trying to look busy and give ‘value for money’ that hey do the most damage. Remember the Imbecility?

  30. 30
    Red Ken Lyingscum says:

    You will also hear me spouting Trotskyite drivel on Iranian TV.

  31. 31
    Unaligned voter says:

    Some chance!

  32. 32

    Given the population of London is about 400,000,000…..
    Increase your medication.

  33. 33
    A corrupt BBC/Labour cunt says:

    What a statesman Mr Livingstone is

  34. 34
    Gordon Brown says:

    You talking about me? – I do feel strange stirrings of familiarity . . .

  35. 35
    Calamity Clegg says:

    Another FibDem triumph ! Do you think the people have rumbled us for the liars we are ?

  36. 36

    I will never forget him – or forgive him.

  37. 37
    A corrupt BBC/Labour cunt says:

    Exactly right

    We cancelled the radio phone ins on R4 and of course the QT slot

    Sadly London has too many right wing, English filth left in it

  38. 38
    jgm2 says:

    To be fair – it did break too late for the evening news.

  39. 39
    Inspired by the Daleks says:

    I’d like to see him in a very DISociated state

  40. 40
    Legal Crook says:

    The lies are the same, the difference is ken is sane and knows he lying!

  41. 41
    Unaligned voter says:

    Whereas Boris is to be trusted?

  42. 42
    HMRC says:

    HIGNFY gives about £2000 fee for an appearance I believe. Nice work if you can get it. Ken has appeared 9 times over the years, go figure.

  43. 43
    Let there be pigs on every street corner says:

    Yup – with real swine in them – Essex saddlebacks and all the old breeds. Turn London really green with pigstyes, grazing meadows – having first torn down all the concrete rubbish.

  44. 44
    Bogeyman says:

    Nice typo in the Grauniad under a picture of Leninslime:

    “It’s hard to imagine a figure so big and so immersed in London politics as Ken Livingstone disappearing from them yet.” Photograph: Denis Jones / Associated Newspap

  45. 45
    jgm2 says:

    Ken knew what he was doing. Manufacturing an excuse not to attend by refusing to share a platform with the B&P. And if the B&P bloke had refused to share a platform with terrorist sympathisers like Ken – would the BBC have called it off?

    Ken is like Brown is like Ned Miliband is like Ned Balls. The more voters see of the bedwetters the less likely they are to vote for them.

  46. 46
    HMRC says:

    HIGNFY gives about £2000 fee per guest slot I believe. Nice work if you can get it. Ken’s been on 9 times over the years, go figure.

  47. 47
    Unaligned voter says:

    No, that’s his Chancellor innit?

  48. 48
    Dumb Tory voter says:

    I want Bufoon Boris as Prime Minsiter

    The Omishambles will then become a total farce

    And ridiculous Farage as Deputy Prime

    Britain would then become the laughing stock of the world

  49. 49
    jgm2 says:

    Not around women.

  50. 50
    Penfold says:

    Perhaps now Boris may let slip the dogs of war on Ken for his tax dodging and illegal political funding.

    But deep joy that Boris has pulled it orff, anxiety attacks over……….

  51. 51
    Duty Pedant says:

    The title ‘Mayor’ applies to both genders. The title ‘Mayoress’ is applied to the wife of a Mayor, not to a female mayor.

    By your posts you display your total and utter ignorance, as well as a very limited vocabulary.

  52. 52
    Durr... says:

    Don’t forget the Tory (Cameron) led gay marriages.

  53. 53

    Did Ken ever produce those accounts in the end?

  54. 54
    jgm2 says:

    Unlike when our PM was chasing Omaha Beach around a hotel kitchen you mean?

  55. 55
    Peter Mandelbum says:

    Is that you Tony?

  56. 56
    Legal Crook says:

    Bliar/Brown have already achieved us being the laughing stock of the world.

  57. 57
    jgm2 says:

    Do you know Bill, I don’t believe he did.

    It’s almost as if he was just lying and lying and lying and hoping the problem would go away.

  58. 58
    Legal Crook says:

    What do you think? NO is the answer.

  59. 59
    beeny says:

    Fuck off grandad, your incontinence pants need changing, plus your point is gratuitous and not in the spirit of this blog. Now do one.

  60. 60
    jgm2 says:

    I don’t remember Ken ever being on. Hislop must take him to pieces.

  61. 61
    Ken says:

    No. My calculator can only cope with 24 digits.

  62. 62
    David one-term Cameron says:

    Been there, done that.

  63. 63
    jgm2 says:

    You’r more likely to end up with ‘em slaughtering goats in the middle of the street for Eid.

  64. 64
    Penfold says:

    Even Blair’s so-called landslide in ’97 only resulted in a 30% vote for NuLab of the total electorate. Hardly a mandate and hardly stunning, but please, do recall the horrendous economic/fiscal carnage that was wreaked in our names.

  65. 65
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    Labour will just have to get accustomed to losing with good grace.

  66. 66
    Infuriated of West Mids says:

    That image never stops being funny. But painful.

  67. 67
    Lee Jasper says:

    Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuckety-fuck. Fuck. etc

  68. 68
    jgm2 says:

    Don’t forget the social carnage. And the actual carnage carnage that was wreaked in our name.

    As you say – with a ‘mandate’ from no more than 25% of the eligible voters.

  69. 69
    beeny says:

    There already over here laughing all the way to the benefits office mate.

  70. 70
    beeny says:

    They’re. One for the pedant.

  71. 71
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    Countless Ken cronies will be crying out those very same words this morning.

  72. 72
    Gordon Brown, alias Mongo el Loco Escoces says:

    !Feliz Cinco de Mayo, Reino Unido! !Ay ay ay ay ay ay! !Tequila!

  73. 73
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    Exactly! 39% was the London turn-out which had more public interest because of the Mayoral race. I suspect the average turn-out in the rest of the country won’t even hit 30%. The media have been dying for the “Labour on the way back” narrative, for 2 years. Last May’s elections surprised the hell out them when the Tories increased their number of seats. This time, without the boost in turn-out of Tory voters due to the AV referendum, the government suffered what all governments suffer with, mid-term drubbing in local elections, because of low turn-out protesting. Local elections aren’t about people voting, they are about people not voting. Most of the people who decide general elections don’t bother to vote in local elections.

    There is no analysis from the MSM on historical precedence, turn-out or the fact that these elections were held in a lot of urban areas, where the Tories don’t expect much support, especially mid-term.

    The left-wing media, like the BBC, claim it’s Labour on the road back to power because of the nasty Tories and right-wing commentators, like this blog claim it’s because the Conservatives are not sounding like UKRAP!

    They are both wrong! These results are, according to any historical precedence, entirely to be expected. Former Conservative voters haven’t gone to Liebour or to UKRAP they just stayed at home!

  74. 74
    Ah! Monika ( Telegraph ) says:

    Ken living, stoned in fear!

    Religious butchering now commonplace in Britain

  75. 75
    Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch says:

    How do you pronounce FUCK

  76. 76
    Well it's a thought says:

    Got some Liebour “woman” on BBC, seems the violins are needed, the crap she’s spouting is unbelievable.

  77. 77

    If you don’t want to watch the video

    Boris : I’d like to genuinely thank Ken for all the work he’s done over the years for London

    Ken: I’d just like to take this opportunity to slag off Boris. The Evening Standard. London transport. Those cretins who sent the postal votes 2nd class instead of 1st Large letter. Isr/ael. The BBC. Sky. Andrew Gilligan..Her Majesty’s Revenue & Customs. Guido. The media in general. The Labour party. Tony Blair. Boris again,..Thatcher…..The church..Facebook…the internet…cars…the weather… people who didn’t vote for me..anyone that’s used a Boris bike..The unions…Harry Redknapp..benefit fraudsters who are too stupid to know what’s good for them… pop music..the permissive society..the lack of decent socialist-marxist values in a city of hedonistic party goers. I’d like to blame Cameron, Clegg, the recession. Buses.. champagne socialists..the Evening Standard again.. Metro… The EU..Eric Pickles… Cab drivers.. Platform heels..The Green party… Bankers…capitalism…The Queen..
    TFL… Nandos… UKIP…I-phones…celebrity endorsements…The Economist…Freeview…Daily Mail…ITV … Chelsea FC… 2 for 1 deals …Estate agents..hosepipes..Benita..Tom Watson..Cat lovers..every Labour member who gained a labour councilor seat and made me look warming..

    {cont for 3 hours}

  78. 78
    Sir Keith Josephs Preserved Head says:

    Are we going to see Baron Livingstone of Brent now ?

  79. 79
    Tower Hamlets Postal Voter says:

    What are you insinuating?

  80. 80
    Well it's a thought says:

    What do you think?, seems these Liebour politicians shout and yell about being a toff but soon jump onto the £400 a day expenses bandwagon.

  81. 81
    Jeffrey Bernard says:

    You sound like Tim Donovan, the doughty defender of impartial public service broadcasting

  82. 82
    Sir Keith Josephs Preserved Head says:

    well I can imagine a great punch up in the bogs between Lords Sugar and Livingstone

  83. 83
    Thank God says:

    Ken has gone, now we need to get rid of Red Ed and his goons.

  84. 84
    UKIPMAN says:

    Much less of an endorsement for the whole tawdry political system where more and more power is now held by unaccountable, nameless people on the continent of Europe. But hey they throw us a few fish now and again so why complain?

  85. 85
    Thank God says:

    That narrows it down to about 15,000 women at the BBC.

  86. 86
    pompous arse says:

    surely Ken wouldnt demean himself to take a title….surely not. I mean Prescott didnt…

  87. 87
    Anonymous says:

    Did the lefty ballot stuffers and postal vote fraudsters stop working too soon?

  88. 88
    Golly says:

    We should be rejoicing at this good news.

    The serious work starts now for DCI Knacker of Scotland Yard.

    If its a rip off give him a tip off!

  89. 89
    annette curton says:

    Don’t think so, by my reckoning they are now 28 days late…r

  90. 90
    Sir Keith Josephs Preserved Head says:

    Seriously… Polls put Boris 6% ahead… but the margin was much much tighter. I know polls can be out but…
    The government can’t just breath a sigh of relief but has got to look at this and ask about the postal votes thing and do something about it…
    Realistically it’s in Labour’s interests too because it could be turned against them

  91. 91
    Osric Testicles says:

    The emerging force of UKIP?!?! Let’s look at the rankings from 6th to 10th:

    Green: 40 councillors, up 11
    Residents Association: 21 councillors, up 5
    UKIP: 9 councillors, up 0
    Independent Health and Community Concern: 5 councillors, up 3
    Respect: 5 councillors, up 5

    Must be a few cardigan wearing combovers just a little redder in the face than they were yesterday.

  92. 92
    Bluebottle says:

    You should leave Red Ed alone.

    He is doing an excellent job losing the next election.

    The bbc seem to be forgetting about boundary changes.

  93. 93
  94. 94
    AC1 says:

    But he has to do some stuff, and putting a bit more thought and effort into it rather than photo ops might be useful.

    One good thing is that the thought of losing their phony ballony jobs has made them do something i.e. getting something finally built on wasteland (*It was something useful until they knocked it down to something nearly a decade ago) near here.

    Elections every 1 year I think, or perhaps every 6 months.

  95. 95
    David one-term Cameron says:

    This bounder’s not for changing.

  96. 96
    AC1 says:

    Takes 2 to tango…

  97. 97
    AC1 says:

    Confession does make it easier.

  98. 98
    Ah! Monika says:

    It would seem that 992,273 Londoners don’t pay tax.

  99. 99
    Pig Man says:

    Ah – never gave that a thought!

    Flocks of goats jumping o’er the heaps of concrete rubble – hardly an idyllic scene, but it’ll do – and I’m fond of goats too.

    Yup, – I’ll go with the livestock, but NOT with the Religion of Piss! or those who promulgate it – no Peace to them!

  100. 100
    smoggie says:

    Not everyone in London is over 18 – first mistake.

  101. 101
    smoggie says:

    ..AND write a column for The Telegraph. No I don’t think there’s enough hours in the day.

  102. 102
    amongymous says:

    Strange post. You’re trying to say you wear a cardigan and have a comb-over and have a red face. Sucks for you mate, assume you never get laid.

    Since you bring them up, good night for UKIP, vote up across the country, many young people support them and the Conservatives now fear being beaten by UKIP in european elections (ukip already beat labour and lib dims).

  103. 103
    Ah! Monika says:

    I’ll think you’ll find that under 18 yr olds cannot vote ( well not legally )

    Use your i Pad Jacquie and recalculate.

  104. 104
    old grumpfy says:

    Well done Boris! But ONLY a 60-odd thousand majority?……….. Horrible Harperson is not impressed!


  105. 105
    BBC News says:

    It was a glorious day when the entire country came together to welcome the dawn of New Labour and the end of slavery and oppression. Britain was then culturally enriched (ongoing project, to be completed 2045) and the NHS was saved. The people rejoiced.

  106. 106
    rocknrolla says:

    Haha, sore loser. You’re a twat – UKIP polled higher throughout the country and now has a fast growing young membership. Sorry grand-dad, with your comb-over and cardigan you’re already the past.

  107. 107
    Anonymous says:

    Their ‘prophet’ Muhammed may not have existed.

    See this very interesting book:

    Watch a couple of Muslim crazies ignore the concept of historical evidence, and resort to circular argument in this debate with the author:

  108. 108
    Anonymous says:

    Let Cameron compete with Clegg for the leadership of the Lib-Dems. He never was a Tory.

  109. 109
    Sir Keith Josephs Preserved Head says:

    Did anyone else think Ken was a bit tired and emotional last night?

  110. 110
    Guardian says:

  111. 111
    Anonymous says:

    Hasn’t that already happened in Bradford and Tower Hamlets?

  112. 112
    Anonymous says:

    or are brain dead.

  113. 113
    Thank God says:

    Last thing Boris needs to do is be photographed with Cameron.

  114. 114
    Anonymous says:

    How many boxes of votes for Ken were added when the lights were out, the systems down and builders were moving around? Not quite enough it seems.

  115. 115
    South of the M4 says:

    Cameron appears to be working hard to make Red Ed – one of the principle architects of the destruction of the UK economy – electable. Quite an achievement.

  116. 116
    Anonymous says:

    Does Cameron have to lose even more badly at the next general election before he can be replaced by Boris?

  117. 117
    Osric Testicles says:

    Ooh as touchy about my post as you are about your combover. Good.

    Check out the figures again if your bulging eyes will allow you to see clearly.
    UKIP flopped despite all the flaccid hype.

    And you demonstrate what a thin skinned bunch of over the hill heart attacks in waiting you actually are.


  118. 118
    jgm2 says:

    May the fourth be with you.

    Good old Boris.

  119. 119
    Marie_Kent says:

    I’m off to Boris Island

  120. 120
    AC1 says:

    Londoners fought the lure of Envy and class-hate.

  121. 121
    AC1 says:

    “Votes up = Flop”.

    Yeeerrs…{In a paxmanesque voice}

    You are Gordon Brown and I claim my 5 pounds of special drawing rights.

  122. 122
    AC1 says:

    Hopefully he’d be busy abolishing stupid laws (see 1997-2008).

  123. 123
    Anonymous says:

    … or, of Bent?

  124. 124
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Livingstone is such a good statesman that he can’t keep his tax affairs in order.

    If he doesn’t understand his own finances why expect him to keep abreast of those in London.

  125. 125
    AC1 says:

    Guido shot first!

  126. 126
    genghiz the kahn says:


  127. 127
    Ah! Monika says:

    To all those who call Boris a buffoon.

    1. If you’re so bright, why waste you time posting on here. Get yourself elected.

    2. Take a long hard look at Boris, his background, his education, his experience and his performance over the past 4 years. Some buffoon.

    3. 1 million people tend not to agree with you.

    4. Name another politician who speaks English not Soundbite.

    5. Criticise his policies, if you can name one.

    6. Go back to 1. and start over.

  128. 128
    Raving Loon says:

    depends if you count the postal votes or not

  129. 129
    Thank God says:

    Clearly another 60,000 Abduls need to be let through Heathrow quickly.

  130. 130
    You know it makes sense says:

    Now hopefully we will never be forced to listen or see Red Ken ever again and his nauseating nasal whinging

  131. 131
    AJ says:

    And a lot are not eligable to vote here.

  132. 132

    They should hide their racism like they usually do with snides against ‘New York humour’ and ‘Hollywood financiers’.

  133. 133
    Green loon says:

    Jolly Jenny Jones.

    well … that’s the end of me.

  134. 134
    Ah! Monika says:

    Cut the scams.

    Postal votes should require a first class stamp.

  135. 135

    What Ken is doing today?

  136. 136
    Ken woz here! says:

  137. 137
    Abdel from Tooting says:

    I ave just heard Mayor Boris Johnson is going to cut my taxes in Tooting.

    What I have done is cutmy monthly direct debit by 10%.

    If there is then a shortfall/overpayment we can sort this out at the end of the year.

    I would urge everyone else here in London to do the same.

  138. 138
    Shakey from Stratford-upon-Avon says:

    “What a piece of work is a man…” Well. Ken’s a piece of something, that’s for sure.

  139. 139
    Most memorable event says:

    The Prize for the best event / achievement over the elections must go to the Egg Man for his splattering of Ed.

    Next time Ed wear a shell suit.

  140. 140
    Harriet The Horrible says:

    ..we would have got away with the election rigging too..if it wasn’t for those tossers at border control not processing the ‘vote labour’ queue fast enough.

  141. 141
    nellnewman says:

    Sop ken’s political career has come to an ignominious end with his accounts safely hidden away from public scrutiny.

    And I get a feeling that Boris’s career has just taken a new turn for the better and is likely to lead on to bigger things in the years ahead when cameron, cleggie and militwit have bitten the dust.

  142. 142
    Make Cameron history says:

    Can we get Ben Howlett to check if Cameron is actually a paid-up member of the Conservative party ?

  143. 143
    Ali Raheem says:

    I thought I had to sending the poster votes yesterday. Sorry Mr Ken. Forgiveness please.

  144. 144
    Anonymous says:

    Any good ones about Louise Mensch today?

  145. 145
    Rejoice! says:

    A magnificent electoral triumph for conservatives throughout the land. Everything going fine. Full steam ahead.

  146. 146
    East India Company Wallah says:

    Plus a lot of natural tories (the elderly) did not vote because it piddled down rain in torrents from dawn til dusk-pure north atlantic misery

  147. 147
    maggie the dog says:


  148. 148
    Mike hunt says:

    Shame Liebour didn’t print enough postal votes.
    Hopefully this is the last time they will make such a difference.

  149. 149
    BBC Trust says:

    There’s a job coming up as Director General of the BBC.

    Ken Livingstone is just the sort of impartial chap we’re looking for.

  150. 150
    Forkbender says:

    Now then girls, stop bitching or guido and his pal will come and sort you out

  151. 151
    maggie the dog says:

    Does he know what a conservative is the toff twat

  152. 152
    Forkbender says:

    Boris supports that!

  153. 153
    Forkbender says:

    Good grief, that is 10%, mind you, people tend to move around in London so HMCR are incapapable of up dating the tax payers records even after people have phoned up or written to them, it is what is known as an efficiency drive, it is noted then lost in a mountain of paper work

  154. 154
    A good egg says:

    Why didn’t this get more coverage yesterday?

  155. 155
    Pallas Athene says:

    Even in he wasn’t a tax-dodging lefty arsehole, I could never bring myself to vote for that voice.

  156. 156
    Ah! Monika says:

    Can somebody ask Diane to comment.

    Usain Bolt in race row as Jamaicans accuse him suffering from ‘white woman complex’ because of his fashion designer girlfriend

  157. 157
    Expat Geordie says:

    Nothing new there. In the 1987 General Election the Conservatives were giving Labour the runaround in the traditionally safe Labour seat of Bishop Auckland. Had the votes been counted their, on their own, then the tories would have got in as their candidate got more votes than the Labour MP had got in the 83 election. However the votes were counted in Sedgefield, along with votes for the Sedgefield constituency. Labour won in Bishop Auckland by just over 6,000 votes. There were “stories” of votes moving from Sedgefield to Bishop and then back again.

    I understand that Durham Police got involved but were advised to let sleeping dogs lie.

  158. 158
    Forkbender says:

    Now that is strange, a few years ago London was approx 10 Million in that case the indigenous population is decreasing the numbers held up by the numbers of foreigners settling in and around London, I suppose someone has to do the dirty jobs

  159. 159
    Forkbender says:

    But are you sure Cleggie was really a LibDem and not a Con

  160. 160
    Red Ken says:

    Still going long after the media has gone home.

    “I’d also like to blame …. America. A listers…Aslef..Argos and Abbott..who could have done a lot more.

    Which brings me onto the next letter of my blame alphabet – B. …Boris..Blue suede shoes..blueband margarine…the blue oyster cult..the bloods..That subliminal vote Boris message that cebeebies use…you know..Iggle piggle..he’s BLUE! How biassed is that? .. BBC…Bankers..This is going to be a long one folks….bums..beatnicks..bears..”

  161. 161
    Expat Geordie says:

    What would they have said if he was going out with a white Jamaican woman though?

  162. 162
    Hang The Bastards says:

    Bye Bye Camoron !! We dont need leftie-tree hugging Wavey “Cast iron” Dave anymore.

    Until we get a true TORY like Boris leading the party, I’m staying with UKIP !

    Cameron is toast, and he deserves it, the shifty untrustworthy hypocritical bastard.

  163. 163
    Thank God says:

    Just watched some fat bird on the BBC interview some other fat bird from the Labour party. The two dykes should get a room together, it was pathetic, talk about a soft interview.

  164. 164
    Forkbender says:

    Sorry no chance of that, they laws of England and Wales are in a mess, laws dating back 100’s years are still in force (Scotland and Northern Ireland have their own systems

  165. 165
    Thank God says:

    BBC are only upset he’s not dating a man.

  166. 166

    We did say that he would not reveal those accounts. If he had come clean some MP would have demanded HMRC become involved as there was rule breaking or tax evasion one way or the other.

    This way he he can console himself on his defeat with the knowledge that he saved himself from a £70,000+ tax bill.

  167. 167
    John Smith says:

    Now that’s what I call a standing ova-tion.

  168. 168
    Forkbender says:


  169. 169
    Hang The Bastards says:

    Cameron is ideally suited to be leader of the LimpDumbs

  170. 170
    Airey Belvoir says:

    Ken will now be a fixture on every BBC political programme, competing for appearance fees with big Jacqui and Diane Flabbott. I will keep the remote very close for rapid switch-off.

  171. 171

    Do you hate posh Tories?

    – why yes..I do.

    Is it because they are so horrid and rich?

    – I think it is.

    And would you rather brave , handsome Ed Miliband was leader of the country?

    – I suppose so.

    Great. Thanks ..back to the studio.

    -Huw – That was Emily Maitliss interviewing Nadine Dorries..

  172. 172
    Hang The Bastards says:

    Oooohhhh looks like Dumb Tory is a tad jealous and masquerading as a real Tory.

    A Boris / Farage combo would be unstobble. THINGS WOULD GET DONE !!!

    Just think, no waste, real tax cuts, UK setting its own policies and direction, strong borders. ….. Bliss… Bring it on.

  173. 173
    PAR-LIAR=MENT says:

    Who really gives a F-ck Who won. What difference will it make?

  174. 174
    Get a Grip says:

    It is a fair point. After everything which was revealed about Livingstone, and his history, there were still nearly 1 million Londoners prepared to vote for him. I don’t think there is any way to account for that except that they believed Livingstone would be transferring even more of other people’s money to his supporters.
    Who really believes he won’t run again in 2016?

  175. 175
    Hang The Bastards says:

    Classic Boris !

  176. 176
    Mohammed x 10000 Postal Votes In, Tower Hamlets says:

    We did ours best Ken innit but it ain’t Bradford like, innit

  177. 177
    PAR-LIAR=MENT says:

    There is a lot of it about. Thats why it keeps getting rammed down our throats by the Political Elite as they live the life.
    Its probably a future battle ground as they have done to death the racism, sexism, etc.

  178. 178
    Iran State News Agency says:


    He’s off to do some gardening leave and earn a fortune

  179. 179
    AC1 says:

    The guardian tax dodging trust shall live for a thousand years!

  180. 180
    William McBuggerall says:

    They might be singing
    But UKIP’s result is minging
    It’s not the battles that decide your fate
    You lost the f.ucking war,mate!

  181. 181
    Tandoori Palace Postal Votes Service Like says:

    Yeah but we got 5 new Respect geeze in the big place, like, ennit

  182. 182
    PAR-LIAR=MENT says:

    What you mean it looks just like Bradford, Infact everytime I travel to the smoke I think I am in some Foreign country. Looks like a lot of rich French will be swelling the ranks, bout time your fucking water companies built a few more reservoir

  183. 183
    UKIPMAN says:

    That’s a cracker!

  184. 184
    Mr Slater says:

    Indeed. Last night’s impromptu performance of ‘Tower Hamlet’ by the Unison Boxstuffer’s Subsection Theater Collective came so dreadfully close to clandestinely reinstating the ‘eau de DDR’ awfulness of Livingstone’s grim, nasal heyday that I had to cover up my Parrot’s cage to prevent him from spontaneously moulting from the sheer anguish and horror of it all.

    This morning, on hearing the thankful, if close-run, news, I removed the towel from his cage and let the old fellah safely watch the re-plays of Boris’ acceptance speech on the television. He’s now squawking away happily on his day-stand, beaking down hard on a brazil nut, and chirruping ‘Rejoice! Rejoice!’ in a strangely feminine yet resonant voice I can’t quite identify…

  185. 185
  186. 186
    UKIPMAN says:

    And there was me thinking he had a chip on his shoulder.

  187. 187
    UKIPMAN says:

    How many more times? Jamaicans can’t be racists. Nor can they be rapists, thieves or murderers.

  188. 188
    annette curton says:

    Offas and Danes (dykes), just an idea I pulled out of the box, pushing the envelope for the next prime time BBC series, brief scenario… two seriously butch detectives working in a secret department of the Met get it together to solve back catalogue of crime, the Cagney and Lacey of the 21st century.

  189. 189
    Chipping Norton Commando says:

    Fuck off you vacuous twat

  190. 190
    The Boris Johnson Comedy Hour says:

    I’d like to say once again how I have always had good things to say about Ken and no one connected with me has ever said anything rude about him. This campaign was entirely about policy.

  191. 191
    MandyPickleSniffer says:

    go on sally, show us yer rat!

  192. 192
    MandyPickleSniffer says:

    nice to see Gorgeous George choosing NOT to come to Ken’s rescue with all his Beacon of Islam votes….

    You aint getting any of MY muzzie votes Ken, bugger off, they’re all MY friends…get yer own muzzies!

  193. 193
    annette curton says:

    Ah, cut to the chase, is he on Twitter?, breathless with anticipation.

  194. 194
    jgm2 says:

    If he’s a Labour Councillor he was probably on the dole until yesterday.

  195. 195
    wonderfulforhisage says:

    Rumour hath that Our Tone is soon to rejoin mainstream UK politics so that means there will be a job going in Jerusalem refereeing the Jews v Palestinians shenanigans.

    Ken would seem tailored made for the job.

  196. 196
    ello ello ello... says:

    Can’t be racists, rapists, thieves or murderers! – Surely not – Isn’t that what The Met police can’t be convicted of … or any Constable acting behind his ACPO bosses’ cloak?

  197. 197
    seriously butch detective says:

    I have explored the length of Offa’s Dyke on several occasions and, aside from a few empty Coke bottles and a couple having it off in an adjacent field, seen nothing of note. Will the BBC commission a six-part series?

  198. 198
    jgm2 says:

    That Latfur Ratman or whatever his name is obviously can’t be relied on to produce enough voters. Yet.

    But Boris only won by 60,000 or so votes. In four years time there will almost certainly be another 60,000 extra cultural enrichers in London. It may be the T*ries last win in London. And another 10 or 15 years after that it’ll be Labour’s last ever win in London.

  199. 199
    Ken Loach says:

    If they can be northern lezzas I’ll make a very boring film about it.

  200. 200
    Anonymous says:

    Council election turnout is rarely much above 30% so nothing new there.

  201. 201
    jgm2 says:

    I think that there’s very little doubt that Mohammed existed. After all he was around in 600AD (ish) and I believe there’s a reasonable amount of contemporary writings from the period which survive.

    The issue is whether or not, when he repaired to his tent every evening with the fresh geopolitical question of the day at the front of his mind, God would manifest himself with the answer.

    Some might suggest that it says much about Mohammed that 99% of the important issues he put to God during these nightly personal audiences involved whose wife, daughter or cousin he could shag next. You don’t have to be too much of a cynic to suggest that he made the whole fucking thing up and that the thugs he surrounded himself with were making too much money and shagging so many women that they were happy to go along with the bullshit.

  202. 202
    rocknrolla says:

    So you’re not only saying you have a comb-over but you are at risk of a heart attack. We all know the kind of old people who hate UKIP. You need help my friend.

  203. 203
    jgm2 says:

    May the fourth be with you.


  204. 204
    Ricahrd Timney says:

    Don’t you mean: fist again?

  205. 205
    Expat Geordie says:

    Always wondered about that. God gave the Jews the Ten Commandments via Moses. He gave the Christians their message through his son, Jesus. Yet he gave the muzzies their message through an illiterate, kiddie fiddling, camel sha.gger in a dream. Says it all, really.

  206. 206
    Sack Vichy Dave - Elect a Tory says:

    Well done Boris! Now, onward to No10.

  207. 207
    He Could be right you know. says:

  208. 208
    jgm2 says:

    Just went over to Bedwetter Central via your link to Labour Uncut (is that the opposite of the Labour Friends of I*s*r*a*e*l?). They’re in a terrible fugue about how the leadership let them down – encouraging them to waste their time pounding the streets trying to get out the vote for Ken when the leadership had already given up hope months ago.

    Cheered me right up.

  209. 209
    Anonymous says:

    If only that were true. Even after all the bad publicity for Ken over the last few weeks, he still managed to get within 3 points of a win. I find that incredible and a portent of how shit London will become in the ensuing years when Labour mange to field someone less toxic than Ken. The demographics in Londo are heading only one way and it’s not a race to the top.

  210. 210
    Expat Geordie says:

    How did you get that one past the moderators? I’ve just posted something similar and I didn’t even get a “Your comment is awaiting moderation” message. It just disappeared.

  211. 211
    Anjem says:

    What about TUKIP? The United Kingdom Islamic Party

  212. 212
    Expat Geordie says:

    I don’t believe it! I’ve just been modded for saying that I’ve been modded!

  213. 213
    Disgruntled Sheffielder says:

    Labour re always suspect in elections. We had the case some years ago about a ballot box being ‘found’ in the back of a Labour Councillors car the day after the election. He said he had been taking it to the count but forgot it was there! Nothing happened.

  214. 214
    Raving Loon says:


  215. 215
    BBC fear arab anger says:

    The BBC, scared of upsetting muslims, arabs and lefties, has banned comedy actor Sacha Baron Cohen from going on their talk shows in character as the fictional arab dictator he plays in his new film The Dictator. The BBC deny he’s been banned and say they prefer guests to come on shows as themselves, which completely contradicts the time they had Cohen on Parkinson in character as Ali G.

    The funnyman has already caused havoc at the Oscars as Admiral General Aladeen, who hails from the fictitious Middle Eastern country the Republic of Wadiya, and was hopping to plug the upcoming movie on TV and radio.

    The Graham Norton Show, The One Show, Newsnight and The Andrew Marr Show all passed on the chance to interview Cohen in character and he was also turned down for slots on Radio 1 and Radio 4. Aladeen told The Sun: ‘While I am a huge admirer of state-sponsored censorship, the BBC banning me from their meagre channels is an outrage. Why are they victimising little old me?’

    A spokesman for the BBC admitted that they would prefer to have Cohen on their shows as himself rather than in character. He said: ‘Our chat shows thrive on the spontaneous banter between guests and the presenter, something you don’t get when people come on as characters. We’d love to have Sacha on as himself.’

  216. 216
    English Liberation Front says:

    Something bogus about you and the midget. A Tory speaker married to a Labour cheerleader? Garn! One of you is faking it.

  217. 217
    AC1 says:

    No election by then in post-democratic Euro region 7.

  218. 218
    BBC fear arab anger says:

    Australian breakfast TV was brave enough to have him on.

  219. 219
    jimbojones says:

    Admit it Osric Testicles you not only have a bad comb over but you also wet the bed you got so upset when UKIP beat Labour in the european elections.

  220. 220
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Their story on the depraved practice of H@l@l and K0sher me’at was short and well hidden too. For more complete coverage:

  221. 221
    AC1 says:

    Le Grasper must be gutted

  222. 222
    AC1 says:

    Díd Muhámmád éxíst? révéáls:

    Hów thé éárlíést bíógráphícál mátéríál ábóut Muhámmád dátés fróm át léást 125 yéárs áftér hís répórtéd déáth
    Hów síx décádés pásséd béfóré thé árábíán cónquérórs—ór thé péóplé théy cónquéréd—évén méntíónéd Muhámmád, thé Qur’án, ór íslám
    Thé stártlíng évídéncé thát thé Qur’án wás cónstructéd fróm éxístíng mátéríáls—íncludíng pré-íslámíc Chrístíán téxts
    Hów évén Muslím schólárs ácknówlédgé thát cóuntléss répórts óf Muhámmád’s dééds wéré fábrícátéd
    Why á fámóus mósqué ínscríptíón máy référ nót tó Muhámmád but, ástóníshíngly, tó Jésus
    Hów thé óldést récórds référríng tó á mán náméd Muhámmád béár líttlé résémbláncé tó thé nów-stándárd íslámíc áccóunt óf thé lífé óf thé próphét
    Thé mány índícátíóns thát árábíán léádérs fáshíónéd íslám fór pólítícál réásóns

  223. 223
    Ah! Monika says:

    Question Of The Day:-

    When Muslims tell lies…..are they called Porkies

  224. 224
    AC1 says:

    I think I’ll wait until it gets cheaper on kindle before I have a read.

  225. 225
  226. 226
    AC1 says:

    2. Take a long hard look at Boris, his background, his education, his experience and his performance over the past 4 years. Some buffoon.

    He’s not done much.

    5. Criticise his policies, if you can name one.

    Automate the Tube GREAT!
    Starting in 2020! WTF?!?

  227. 227

    We’re scratching our heads over that one.
    BTW has someone opened Cat’s box ?
    Frankie & Benjy

  228. 228
    Ah! Monika says:

    Brill. LLLOL

  229. 229
    :o) says:

    the silences are great lol!

  230. 230
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Has Livingstone provided all of his financial accounts yet?
    Has Ed Miliband declared who was at the Rudd event yet?
    The Livingstone supporters show what they stand for.
    Why did Miliband keep clear of London and Livingstone yesterday?
    Poor old Tessa Jowell, brain washed to the last.
    Diane Abbott, idiot to the masses.
    Emily Thornberry, sad spiteful loser.
    Was the BBC’s 2012 coverage of the council elections good use of license fee payers money?

  231. 231
    cityferret says:

    my libation cup runneth over

  232. 232
    The cunt of Monte Cristo says:

    jgm, there is no ‘may’ be the last win for the Tories in London

    It will be the last win for a Tory in London……if Oona King had stood against him Boris would have been blown away.

    The Tories are being driven from large population centres relentlessly, despite Cameron’s five years of obsessing about green issues, and homosexual rights.

    Unless someone can fix Cameron’s malfunctioning political radar, the party will never be able to achieve a majority again.
    Too many people are voting for fringe parties now.

  233. 233
    Ah! Monika says:

    I did last week and sent him a sketch of the event.

    Sorry ’cause I miss my pussy too

  234. 234
    Hang The Bastards says:

    A vile woman married to a short arsed vile man.. Watch a perfect match

  235. 235
    Ah! Monika says:

    Got my P60 in the post this morning. Ken’s lucky he wasn’t nearby.

  236. 236
    cityferret says:


  237. 237
    obsessed bigot. says:

    Yes, my pension rights and prospects are being shot to pieces, return on savings non existent, cost of living rising relentlessly, Abu Qatada likely to be here for years yet. But what really keeps me awake at night is the thought that two people of the same gender who I don’t know, will never know, might be able to get a legal marriage some day.

  238. 238
    Gracie says:

    Sally, Sally pride of our alley……………..don’t ever wonder away from……

    Oh! Just fuck off

  239. 239
    Tron says:

    Be fair, he handled it well.

  240. 240
    Mars Attacks says:

    So, at 39%, the London vote was 33% up on the norm, and Boris won?
    How was this anything but a victory for the Tories?
    Not Liebour. Not Ukrap. Not Hugh Paddick and his friend Julian.
    Get the f.uck over it.

  241. 241
    Whats on Ruperts mind? says:

  242. 242
    Louise says:


  243. 243
    AC1 says:


  244. 244

    Your maths are about as good as your politics, Fat Jac.

  245. 245
    Tron says:

    Very funny.
    I love the sound of the TV crew laughing.

  246. 246
    keredybretsa says:

    Congratters Boris….next stop number 10!!!

  247. 247
    Ah! Monika says:

    Jeremy for deputy.

    Jeremy Clarkson has risked outrage by suggesting that long queues for airport border control checks could be solved by “a bit of racism.”
    Clarkson, who is now notorious for his provocative comments, used his Sun newspaper column to wade into the controversy over passengers facing queues of up to three hours at Heathrow.
    He claimed that liberal attitudes prevented officials targeting only passengers deemed “high risk”.
    “You can’t get that sort of thing past the bleeding-heart liberals. They believe that … a hook-handed imam with fire in his heart and hatred in his eyes is just as likely to whip up anti-western sentiment as Joanna Lumley.”

  248. 248
    keredybretsa says:

    Whataboot The Assole Party?

  249. 249
    Copy and Paste says:

    do we have to Google all your answers?

  250. 250
    jgm2 says:

    Earn a fortune. And pay himself in dividends taxed at 20% and NI free.

    Like before.

  251. 251
    Abdel from Tooting says:

    I want to know why my new Mayor has been photographed on a non Boris bike this morning.

    Having spent a ton of our money on these Boris bokes I thought he would have been fully signed ulp to the scheme.

  252. 252

    That must mean the sun’s over the yardarm.

  253. 253
    Citizen Murdoch says:

    I presided over a criminal empire in the UK before they caight up with me

    Now, of course, it is the fault of “the management”, who I appointed, not the boss

    I am the boss

    I have spent “hundreds of millions of dollars” trying to clean all of this up

    Without realising that I was the source of it all


    And fuck you all

  254. 254
    LOL says:

    Ah yes, “The Commentator”. the z ionist H asbara site where censorship dominates over factual criticism of the chosen landers.

  255. 255
    Moral Collapse Blair says:

    You see what happens when I leave politics ?

    The whole place collapses


  256. 256
    Moral Collapse Blair says:

    Lile the Middle East pe

  257. 257
    Moral Collapse Blair says:

    peace talks

    Oh wait a minute

    I am still the “Middle East envoy”


  258. 258
    The English Libation Front says:

    We’re drinking as hard as we can FFS! can can can can can . . .. .. . …. …. . . . .


  259. 259
    Spartacus says:

    and not everyone lives in london – just in case you had forgotten

  260. 260
    Kne Lyingscum and the Bacon of Islum says:

    And I also do Diversity, kulcehral stuff, ‘n inclusive – so the Bloody Boring Crap will be better than ever!

  261. 261
    Hampstead Hedge Fund Manager says:

    We believe in ancient methods of killing animals

    Make them squeal…

    Like the British taxpayer

  262. 262
    anon says:

    Happens in Dubai. My wife and I were called out of a queue of Bangladeshis passing through. Best bit was my bro-in-law and his wife were not. LOL

  263. 263
    Mini Gwido says:

    LIKUD perhaps ?

    That would be exciting at least

  264. 264

    You could start your own blog.

  265. 265
    Maxi Guido says:

    Elaboration with proof would enlighten us a little more.

  266. 266
    Reasonable Tory says:

    The whole problem with the so-called Tory Party at the moment (and for some years) is that it has opened itself up to all these class warfare attacks instead of having a man of the people as Leader

    Boris is no solution either

    He is just a Bufoon Etonian instead of Cameron, the Public Relations Etonian

    It was suicidal to get rid of Hague too soon

    And then to boot out Davies

    There is now nothing left of any quality for a generation (or ever)

  267. 267
    Uncle Joe says:

    My thoughts exactly . Hard to believe it would happen in Brent and Harrow

  268. 268
    Living in 98 percent white Merseyside says:


  269. 269
    Thank God says:

    Does Bradford need a mayor? Ken would be perfect.

  270. 270

    Last night Ken showed himself to be an ungracious loser and a self-pitying, whining twat to boot!

    An No, I don’t believe we’ve seen the last of this corrupt, tax-dodging bastard.

  271. 271
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    “Man, you been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long.”
    “I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.”
    “I am the walrus, goo goo g’joob.”

  272. 272
    Uncle Joe says:

    Labour mange? A bit hard even for those weasels.

  273. 273
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    LOL. Love the bit about Gilard having a sex change to become a woman.

  274. 274
    Living in 98 percent white Merseyside says:

    Rejoice, rejoice – yes we have street parties and celebrations planned up here when a certain event happens – and I don’t mean the Diamond Jubilee!

  275. 275
    Ivor Tapeworm says:

    Wiff-waff is coming to London!.

    And last time I visited Phuket I discovered that amazing things can be done with ping-pong balls.

  276. 276
    Mu-ham-mad says:

    Someone should tell them their prophet has ham in the middle of his name. That’ll confuse them.

  277. 277

    Don’t forget that a sizeable portion of the population of London come from countries where political corruption – in fact corruption in general – is part of the culture. They expect anyone in authority to be corrupt so allegations of criminality and misconduct in office leave them unmoved. All they care about is sharing in the proceeds of corruption. Why do you think electoral fraud is endemic in immigrant communities?

    Another fine example of multi-culti enrichment.

  278. 278
    WVM says:

    Personally I’d of gone for the half a dozen open box full in the face.

  279. 279
    Uncle Joe says:

    I don’t give Jack.

  280. 280
    cityferret says:

    we like boris

  281. 281
    Marmite says:

    I know Hatty, it’s a bummer isn’t it? Bad losers or what?

    By the way Hatty, the expensive wrinkle cre*m’s not working. Try Polyfiller (and stick some in your gob while you’re at it).

  282. 282
    ol geezer says:

    collaboration without would reveal more….

  283. 283
    Marmite says:

    I think Livinscum & that effin awful Steve McCabe have the same spe*ch therapist.

  284. 284
    Pickled Wizard says:

    It wont be pdiick’s head on a spike tonight

  285. 285
    Marmite says:

    Only the BBC could make Boris’s win sound like a loss. Utter b*st*rds.

  286. 286
    Pickled Wizard says:

    Irreligious buggering common in lib dem headquarters

  287. 287
    Pickled Wizard says:

    You forgot trees, buckets and Cornwall

  288. 288
    Pickled Wizard says:

    {cont for 3 hours} – no, ken will be a cont for much longer than that

  289. 289
    Jack Straw says:

    “bout time your fucking water companies built a few more reservoir”

    There is not practical limit to the number of immigrants that Labour can bring into Britain.

  290. 290
    Pickled Wizard says:

    My moneys on Al

  291. 291
    Pickled Wizard says:

    ergo harry filler (I dont think Jack is that well endowed)

  292. 292
    Ah! Monika says:

    Eggs AND chips

  293. 293
    Drought update: Day 30. More floods. says:

    So is the opposite of ‘Muslim’ a ‘J e w’?

    I thought the the opposite of ‘Muslim’ was ‘sane level-headed rational person’ – someone who doesn’t want to blow people up to please his make-believe magic sky fa*iry.

    But obviously I’m wrong.

  294. 294
    Pickled Wizard says:

    You – and may conveniently forgotten to sign off

  295. 295

    First time ever i heard a man say “My Husband “, Leaves a nasty taste in the mouth !

  296. 296
    Pickled Wizard says:

    There was a tall girl called Sally
    who strips down the working mens palais
    you should hear the applause
    when she drops her drawers
    and the hair on her head doesn’t tally!

  297. 297
    Moz Dee says:

    jaqui why all the vitriol against your fellow traveller ?

    Did you wish to stand for Mayor and were rescinded ??

    Or more probably are you living in fear that your saturday sinecure at LBC is threatened now Dying Rock has a need to reclaim it as his rightful lucre generating pension plan ??

  298. 298
    Moz Dee says:

    Don’t like it when i hit all the right buttons do you Moddy Guy ??

  299. 299
    wickidicki says:

    Boris has been on 7 times.

  300. 300
    DDOS says:

    Shall we shut you down guido for not having the courage of your free journalistic convictions ?? …. Best …. Hackta la Ista

  301. 301
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m an urban myth and babe magnet.

  302. 302
    Gordon Brown says:

    300! Weeeeee!

  303. 303
    BBC PRAVDA says:

    Pay up your £145.50 you fucking plebs, or we’ll bang you up in prison, Labour propaganda doesn’t come cheap you know. BTW, shut down Sky News, The Sun and The Times, the filthy fuckers are making a profit by forcing people to buy their products. Just trust us to supply the truth.

  304. 304
    Marion the cat says:

    Boris will replace Cameron as leader, probably get to be PM by the next GE. UKIP may even become the third biggest party but Farage would never become someone else’s helpmeet. Ain’t gonna happen.

  305. 305
    The Labour Party says:

  306. 306
    Terrytory says:

    I remember that case. There was clear evidence of jiggery pokery, or even hickery dickery going on when the boxes were opened at, I think, Newton Aycliffe Leisure Centre, but noone, not the returning officer, nor the police were interested. Especially since the MP for Sedgefield happened to be Tont Blair.

  307. 307
    catcher in the rye says:

    He tests if they are virgins by inserting the end of his penis in their vaginas every morning.

  308. 308
    John Prescock says:

    Fookin fairy.

  309. 309
    Shane says:

  310. 310
    Tachybaptus says:

    Steve McCabe is my girlfriend’s MP. She is disabled (genuinely), and has a Blue Badge for her car. When the badge was due for replacement, the council made a complete balls-up of the procedure, and then gave her the run-around for the next three months as she tried to get the permit (and had to spend hundreds of pounds on taxis). Finally, when all else had failed, she wrote to McCabe. Prompt response from him; in a few days she got her permit, and even a weaselly letter from the council sort of half apologising for not sending it earlier. So hats off to McCabe, and who cares what his voice sounds like?

  311. 311
    shane the pain says:

    The sooner that twerps like you telling us how to behave and what to think have no place in modern politics the better.

  312. 312
    Well said! says:

    +10 !
    Zi onanists can only hold an argument by whining ” ra cist”, “ant i-s emite” or by censoring.

  313. 313
    Fog on the Tyne says:

    If Dave the Tosser doesn’t get boundary changes in place and a grip on immigration and state handouts there won’t be any point in having elections. It’ll just be a permanent Labour/Respect coalition governing a bankrupt caliphate.

  314. 314
    Expat Geordie says:

    Fair play to him, but MP’s are meant to be the peoples’ representitives in Parliament, not glorified social workers. Again, good for him for sorting out the problem, but it also highlights the problem that MP’s are not doing their job properly.

  315. 315
    Which way does George swing says:

    If Galloway has converted to the religion of peace he should state whether he is Sunni or Sh’ite

    That should alienate half his electorate (at least)

    Unless he is Alowite like his Syrian chums of course

  316. 316
    Which way does George swing says:

    If Galloway has converted to the religion of pe@ce he should state whether he is Sunni or Sh’ite

    That should alienate half his electorate (at least)

    Unless he is Alowite like his Syrian chums of course


  317. 317
    the twatterati says:

    Hahahahaha…..twitter seems to be down with technical problems. Willy Wowden and Neo Guido will be having a nervous breakdown any time soon.

  318. 318
    The Newly Re-elected Blond Orangutan says:

    I could GIVE her a good one, heaven knows…

  319. 319
    Blazer says:

    the demise of grammar schools you might find has something to do with it!

  320. 320
    Ben Doon & Philip McKavity says:

    We like Dave and his policies

  321. 321
    Red Ken ( pond life ) Livingscum says:

    I’m off to spend more time with my Tax Advisers.

  322. 322
    Anonymous says:

    They have to be activists in the green movement and addicted to crack cocaine, both victims of patricidal rape by Tory dads who sold the resultant offspring of their incestuous unions to white South African slavers.

  323. 323
    Puzzled of Cheam says:

    Derek Hatton giving all that money he skanked back?

  324. 324
    The lumpen proletariat says:


  325. 325
    The lumpen proletariat says:

    Yes, let’s make omelettes!

  326. 326
    Back door job says:

    Calm down dear.

    People recognise that Boris is a cun*t, but he’s less of a cun*t than anything else on offer.

  327. 327
    The lumpen proletariat says:

    NO, Sky were quite good at it too!

  328. 328
  329. 329
    Back door job says:

    Boris is always on the job

  330. 330
    Back door job says:

    Sometimes 3

  331. 331
    English Liberation Front says:

    Accept no substitutes, especially canned ones.

  332. 332
    Back door job says:

    He’ll need to bulk up in the top bollocks area to compete with those two babes.

  333. 333
    We're loyal LibLabConers says:

    We’re for any party that gets us access to the trough.

  334. 334
    The Deluded Tosser in No 10, like the Previous Deluded Tosser says:

    I say chaps!!! Ah’m just doing ma jobby! Tha’ Green Taxes an’ tha’ Windy Mills wa’ the right Thing Tae Dee!

  335. 335
    Back door job says:

    He chooses not to mix in those sort of circles: they tend to be full of the most ghastly lower middle class types.

  336. 336
    Back door job says:

    Can you find a small opening for Brian Paddick and his husband?

  337. 337
    Anonymous says:

    Maybe 992,273 Londoners are sick of having useless twats in 10 and 11 Downing Street.

    £140 billion borrowed by Osborne as he couldn’t get the econonmy to grow. This from the govt ‘clearing up the debt crisis left by the last govt.’

  338. 338
    Mike Hunt says:

    Sadly very true.

    Greatest Conservative PM since the war? and where was she educated – Grammar school. Even the previous one, bland but decent – Grammar School boy.

    This is what Williams and co wanted to do when they killed the grammars – prevent any chance of a proper Conservative PM.

  339. 339
    Back door job says:

    It is not possible to brainwash Tessa Jowell.

  340. 340
    Mike Hunt says:

    Sadly true.

  341. 341
    AC1 says:

    Mincing little fascist.

  342. 342
    Über Comandante Merkel says:

    Can anyone put me in touch with Abdel from Tooting?

    I may need some help with zee votes for my lieutenant Nicholas Shortarsy.

    The new world order will be most gratefull and will allow Abdel and his hordes the UK.

  343. 343
    Gotcha! says:

    It’s Guido & Gilligan Wot Won It

  344. 344
    LibLabCon says:

    We’ve already Abdel and his hordes the UK.

  345. 345

    LOOK! If we wanted to know what the MORONS who use TWATTER have to say, WE’D HAVE TWATTER ACCOUNTS so we can follow them for ourselves.

  346. 346

    Hopefully they’ll miss the ‘twatter experience’ so much they’ll top themselves.

  347. 347
    Über Comandante Merkel says:

    Yes yes yes my naive little boy but at the moment Abdel also has you.

    You do see my point no?

  348. 348
    Dave says:

    In fact I may make bum sex mandatory

  349. 349
    Thank God says:

    He could be a Souffle or whatever they call them you know the ones that dance around.

  350. 350
    Ted Heath says:

    I feel
    It’s time I made a comeback

  351. 351
    Gordon Brown's Diary Extracts No 39 says:

    April the 26th 2012:

    This morning upon waking I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth as I usually do but to my horror I discovered no toothpaste left in the tube. Now being clever I remembered what Tony Blair me to do if this should ever happened. So following his good advice I stuck the toothbrush up my arse and gave it a good rummage before pulling it out with a pop! He was right, because there on the bristles of my toothbrush stood a proud ρea sized dollop of brown toothpaste. I smiled at myself in the mirror thinking how smart I was before quickly brushed my teeth. I always brush my teeth in the morning because Sarah says I have horrendous halitosis and this is the reason why she never kisses me… ever. Oddly enough though she never buys me any toothpaste either?

  352. 352
    Omnipotent Moderator says:

    Sufi = Sunni

  353. 353
    Expat Geordie says:

    I see that Barry Obama upset a lot of people doing something similar. When talking about the United States Marine Corps he pronounced it CORPSE and not CORE. He’s only meant to be Commander-In-Chief.

  354. 354
    Uebergoy says:

    The new name is “Bibies” after Netanyahu

  355. 355
    Thank God says:

    So it begins, Nadine now saying Cameron and Osborne will be out if they don’t get a grip.

    Let’s hope finally the Tory right start kicking up a fucking fuss.

  356. 356

    I believe the correct technical term is “guy who receives”, going by Seth Macfarlane. And he’d know, because he makes cartoons.

  357. 357
    Tron says:

    Nadine Dorries just declared war on David Cameron on BBC R5L. I’ve never heard a Labour MP be so nasty about him. Was she drunk or is she joining UKIP?

    The BBC will play this endlessly.

  358. 358
    Ted Heath, the bandleader says:

    No, YOU stay put– I’LL make a comeback!

  359. 359
    albacore says:

    So now it’s all over bar the shouting
    The blues and the yellows got a routing
    Although Boris just scraped in ahead of Ken
    Elsewhere it’s the reds’ turn to meddle again
    And a fat lot of difference that will make
    While Dave is the icing on the “Tory” cake

  360. 360
    Jimmy says:

    Apparently Santa isn’t real either.

  361. 361
    Fisting Jacqui Smith says:

    Two Kennies stuffed yesterday. Most satisfactorily.

  362. 362
    David one-term Cameron says:

    I’ll come good in the end.

  363. 363
    Lou Scannon says:

    Joining UKIP ? Unlikely, it’s far easier to attack from within :

    Strangely, the Gruinard also describes Bercow as a Conservative – and there I was thinking the rag was a bastion of truth.

  364. 364
    David 0ne-term Cameron says:

    You know what Ed Smith’s mistake was ? He didn’t start moving the deckchairs around soon enough.

  365. 365
    A small object of desire says:

    Clarkson being white, articulate and English again. The beeboid bedwetters must must squirm:

  366. 366
    PAR-LIAR=MENT says:

    Dont SAVE school cookery. What the fu-k are the supermarkets going to sell and the government TAX if people start making up their own meals?
    And isn’t great how the weather has now taken sole responsibility for the economic disaster that has been forced on us.
    Not the over policiing over terrorising of the Sheep and the Police War apparatus state., sucking all the spare Cash out of the economy, not to mention the queing at Heathrow. WTF. It can only get worse.
    Making problems up then not having the financial ability to fix them for the SHEEP will not go down very well. or is that the idea?
    The OLYMPICS will be seen as an olympian folly with the Billions stolen through higher TAXES that will finish the economy. Third world here we come.

  367. 367
    Anonymous says:

    Some interesting voting figures from London. I hope posting them on here is ok because UKIP polling results are not listed anywhere, only lumped as “others”. Why would that be when you see they polled over 100,000 votes in London?

    Party/candidate Votes % +/- % since 2008
    Turnout: 2,215,008 (40.9%)
    Labour 911,204 41.1% +13.6%
    Conservatives 708,528 32% -2.6%
    Green Party 189,215 8.5% +0.1%
    Liberal Democrats 150,447 6.8% -4.6%
    UKIP 100,040 4.5% +2.6%
    BNP 47,024 2.1% -3.3%

    The beginning of the end for Cameron and Osbourne. Up to the budget they were doing sort of ok. Their, “give to the rich,soak the poor budget” was an unmitting disaster and will be their downfall. It has already started. Thatcher made work pay for those that wanted to work hard, and the rewards were there. But now Cameron and Osbournes’ taxes, spending and regulation, are everywhere, stifling job creation and productivity!

  368. 368
    You know it makes sense says:

    Yet again Mr Clarkson is spot on.

    Yet again UK Border (that’s an oxymoron) are incompetent, uselss, hopeless, and probably a bunch of bed wetters.

  369. 369
    Anonymous says:

    I was going to engage in a meaningful debate about the state of the nation ….. then I realised that is impossible here ….. then I started laughing out loud …..there’s no way you can engage with really thick, demented people who continually want to take the country back to slavery and the dark ages

  370. 370
    Anonymous's Twin Brother says:

    MPs and the Press and the State have all come in for much ridicule here. Yet what do we find? Everyone’s utter reliance on them for any meaning in their llives. What are lark!!!

    How’s the governmnet doing lately????

  371. 371
    Ah! Monika says:

    ? How do you get a potato into a Jerry-can?

    Caroline digs herself into a potato hole
    Stock up on potatoes. That’s what Caroline Spelman has been telling her Cabinet colleagues.
    Spelman, who has responsibility for agriculture, warned that the freak weather was going to hit the potato crop.
    As a result, she said, the price of them could soar this summer.
    Ministers were slightly incredulous. There were whispered jokes about a run on potatoes to rival last month’s one on petrol.

    Read more:

  372. 372
    inside- out says:

    Ken blames the press for all those smears.

  373. 373
    Fur Trade Fare Trader Of Fair Trade Fair Trade says:

    Fairtrade: Is it really fair?
    As more than 70 countries celebrate World Fair Trade Day on Saturday, Sarah Morrison examines the scheme’s pros and cons.


  374. 374
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    Of course the 992,273 who voted for Livingstone suffer from total amnesia regarding the previous useless twats in numbers 10 and 11, both of whom were Labour dullards. The main three parties are all populated by oafs, who don’t give a fcuk. If you can’t see that, you can’t see anything.

  375. 375
    Anonymous says:

    Has Ken published his tax details yet?

  376. 376
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    You think the war is over? Dream on, the battle is only just starting and you are on the wrong side of history already.

  377. 377
    Really? says:

    You imagine they are working? Oh dear, you have had a politically correct brain washing. Here are a couple of facts.

    50% of M*sl*m men and 75% of M*sl*m women have never worked and live entirely on benefits.

  378. 378
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    The leaders of all the LabLibCon are interchangable robots. None could care less than they do about shitting on the British people. Once you work that out, the rest is simple.

  379. 379
    The Egress says:

    Come and get me, big boy.

  380. 380
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    Brent and Harrow are now extremely culturally enriched areas of London and Harrow has one of the biggest M*s ques in the entire country. Work the rest out for yourself.

  381. 381
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    The hundreds of thousands of postal votes are very re@l though eh Jimmy? Miraculously all of them go to just one party, well two now Respect are seen as the rel*gi*n of piss devotees, alternate option.

  382. 382
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    At least Boris has a sense of humour and can take a bit of a piss take with a smile. Livingstone on the other hand, has only his bad temper and poisonous ideology, to keep him company.

  383. 383
    The Watson Watcher. says:

    Takes one!!!!!!!!

  384. 384
    FuckKen says:

    very good post

  385. 385
    FuckKen says:

    Well said, cynical old man

  386. 386
    the advanced stages of CiF says:

    Lol. Ken lost. Get over it.

  387. 387
    the advanced stages of CiF says:

    Whereas Labour/Respect/Green will progress us to a new golden era? FGM and Solar cell Burkhas are the way forward.

  388. 388
    Expat Geordie says:

    Try again, since my last post just bloody disappeared AGAIN.

    Okay Jimmy, so Santa doesn’t exist. Cards on the table, I’m an agnostic, leaning towards belief as I get older. However, for the sake of argument lets assume that all religions are just fairy stories and that there is no afterlife.

    Wouldn’t any religion want a fantastic opening story to explain everything? Something that explains why their religion is top dog, or the dogs bollocks? Why would any religion want to claim to be started by someone who you wouldn’t want to be left alone with your kids?

  389. 389
    Mars Attacks says:

    Yep – Have you watched the last scenes of Downfall. Best shout the subtitles to Nige – I think he’s coming in to land again.

    How’s that educational fund IN EUROS going for y’all?

    Wrong side of history? What you irrelevant UKIP tw.ats don’t get is that the writing of history IS the prerogative of the victor – remind us how you did?

    Not the odd skirmish, but the war on seats? Oh yeah – 0. So, just like Liverpool FC, still trying to make half a ball across the line into a goal.

    Good luck with that,

  390. 390
    Mars Attacks says:

    And if you clap really loudly, Tinkerbell will live!!

    Religion – I shit it.

  391. 391
    I hate Tesco AND the Pope says:

    Truth – come on. A candidate? THEY lost it? Singular subject. Singular verb – that’s how you write correctly. A candidate. HE lost it. He’s a singular bloke. OK? You guys who were educated without learning basic skills should sue the government. Germans, taught English in German schools, can speak and write English better than at least 50% of the British population. The same goes for Scandinavian education.

  392. 392
    Bill Bell says:

    Does that mean he’s lady mayor in waiting

  393. 393
    City of Vice says:

    That Green Party harpie standing next to Boris looks like she’s just swallowed a wasp. On election day I heard her on the radio rooting for a Livingstone victory. I guess there’s no room on the gravy train for her this time around now Boris has won. Greens = vegetarian socialists.

Seen Elsewhere

New Tory, New Danger | Laura Perrins
UKIP Could Work With Dave If Price is Right | Douglas Carswell
Cops Catch Crims With B.O. Test | Techno Guido
Bashir’s “False Account” to His Own Lawyers | Times
Injustice of Tax Avoidance Hysteria | City AM
The New Puritans | Alex Wickham
UKIP on 23% With Survation | Mirror
UKIP Could Deal With Dave | Douglas Carswell
Tories Would Lower Benefit Cap | Telegraph
Bashir Twitter Meltdown | Mirror
Bashir is a Wrong’un | Norman Tebbit

Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

George Galloway says of his former Respect candidate the UKIP MEP turned Tory, Amjad Bashir…

“Clearly Bashir does not have any real political principles or commitment, only naked opportunism and self-interest. He represents the revolving door principle in politics. The Tories are welcome to him because he will cause them embarrassment. Fortunately Respect was able to act before he did it to us.”

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