May 5th, 2012

Boris Accepts, Ken Regrets


393 Comments

  1. 1
    JACQUI SMITH ENORMOUS FAT TROUGHER says:

    First again

    Like

    • 16
      beeny says:

      If Paddick had won, would he have been the Mayoress? Just wanted to clear that up as he mentioned his husband.

      Like

      • 19
        Anonymous says:

        You’re a twat.

        Like

        • 23
          beeny says:

          Perhaps you’d grace us with a sensible reply you fucking knob, it was Paddick who insisted on making the point of thanking his hubby. Technically that makes him the wife, shitface.

          Like

          • Duty Pedant says:

            The title ‘Mayor’ applies to both genders. The title ‘Mayoress’ is applied to the wife of a Mayor, not to a female mayor.

            By your posts you display your total and utter ignorance, as well as a very limited vocabulary.

            Like

          • beeny says:

            Fuck off grandad, your incontinence pants need changing, plus your point is gratuitous and not in the spirit of this blog. Now do one.

            Like

          • Forkbender says:

            Now then girls, stop bitching or guido and his pal will come and sort you out

            Like

          • PAR-LIAR=MENT says:

            Who really gives a F-ck Who won. What difference will it make?

            Like

          • Ivor Tapeworm says:

            Wiff-waff is coming to London!.

            And last time I visited Phuket I discovered that amazing things can be done with ping-pong balls.

            Like

          • I believe the correct technical term is “guy who receives”, going by Seth Macfarlane. And he’d know, because he makes cartoons.

            Like

          • Bill Bell says:

            Does that mean he’s lady mayor in waiting

            Like

        • 27
          "Stonewall" Johnson says:

          Keep buggering on! For traditonal Conservative values, like two men taking each other up the aisle, taxpayer bail outs of billionaires and serial invasions of countries!

          Like

          • Durr... says:

            Don’t forget the Tory (Cameron) led gay marriages.

            Like

          • Peter Mandelbum says:

            Is that you Tony?

            Like

          • Forkbender says:

            Boris supports that!

            Like

          • PAR-LIAR=MENT says:

            There is a lot of it about. Thats why it keeps getting rammed down our throats by the Political Elite as they live the life.
            Its probably a future battle ground as they have done to death the racism, sexism, etc.

            Like

          • Sack Vichy Dave - Elect a Tory says:

            Well done Boris! Now, onward to No10.

            Like

          • obsessed bigot. says:

            Yes, my pension rights and prospects are being shot to pieces, return on savings non existent, cost of living rising relentlessly, Abu Qatada likely to be here for years yet. But what really keeps me awake at night is the thought that two people of the same gender who I don’t know, will never know, might be able to get a legal marriage some day.

            Like

          • PAR-LIAR=MENT says:

            Dont SAVE school cookery. What the fu-k are the supermarkets going to sell and the government TAX if people start making up their own meals?
            And isn’t great how the weather has now taken sole responsibility for the economic disaster that has been forced on us.
            Not the over policiing over terrorising of the Sheep and the Police War apparatus state., sucking all the spare Cash out of the economy, not to mention the queing at Heathrow. WTF. It can only get worse.
            Making problems up then not having the financial ability to fix them for the SHEEP will not go down very well. or is that the idea?
            The OLYMPICS will be seen as an olympian folly with the Billions stolen through higher TAXES that will finish the economy. Third world here we come.

            Like

        • 383
          The Watson Watcher. says:

          Takes one!!!!!!!!

          Like

      • 137
        Abdel from Tooting says:

        I ave just heard Mayor Boris Johnson is going to cut my taxes in Tooting.

        What I have done is cutmy monthly direct debit by 10%.

        If there is then a shortfall/overpayment we can sort this out at the end of the year.

        I would urge everyone else here in London to do the same.

        Like

        • 176
          Mohammed x 10000 Postal Votes In, Tower Hamlets says:

          We did ours best Ken innit but it ain’t Bradford like, innit

          Like

          • Tandoori Palace Postal Votes Service Like says:

            Yeah but we got 5 new Respect geeze in the big place, like, ennit

            Like

          • PAR-LIAR=MENT says:

            What you mean it looks just like Bradford, Infact everytime I travel to the smoke I think I am in some Foreign country. Looks like a lot of rich French will be swelling the ranks, bout time your fucking water companies built a few more reservoir

            Like

          • Jack Straw says:

            “bout time your fucking water companies built a few more reservoir”

            There is not practical limit to the number of immigrants that Labour can bring into Britain.

            Like

          • Gotcha! says:

            It’s Guido & Gilligan Wot Won It

            Like

      • 284
        Pickled Wizard says:

        It wont be pdiick’s head on a spike tonight

        Like

      • 295
        JACQUI SMITH ENORMOUS FAT TROUGHER says:

        First time ever i heard a man say “My Husband “, Leaves a nasty taste in the mouth !

        Like

    • 98
      Ah! Monika says:

      It would seem that 992,273 Londoners don’t pay tax.

      Like

      • 112
        Anonymous says:

        or are brain dead.

        Like

        • 168
          Forkbender says:

          Possibliy

          Like

        • 174
          Get a Grip says:

          It is a fair point. After everything which was revealed about Livingstone, and his history, there were still nearly 1 million Londoners prepared to vote for him. I don’t think there is any way to account for that except that they believed Livingstone would be transferring even more of other people’s money to his supporters.
          Who really believes he won’t run again in 2016?

          Like

          • Iran State News Agency says:

            Nah

            He’s off to do some gardening leave and earn a fortune

            Like

          • wonderfulforhisage says:

            Rumour hath that Our Tone is soon to rejoin mainstream UK politics so that means there will be a job going in Jerusalem refereeing the Jews v Palestinians shenanigans.

            Ken would seem tailored made for the job.

            Like

          • jgm2 says:

            Earn a fortune. And pay himself in dividends taxed at 20% and NI free.

            Like before.

            Like

          • CYNICAL OLD MAN says:

            Last night Ken showed himself to be an ungracious loser and a self-pitying, whining twat to boot!

            An No, I don’t believe we’ve seen the last of this corrupt, tax-dodging bastard.

            Like

      • 153
        Forkbender says:

        Good grief, that is 10%, mind you, people tend to move around in London so HMCR are incapapable of up dating the tax payers records even after people have phoned up or written to them, it is what is known as an efficiency drive, it is noted then lost in a mountain of paper work

        Like

      • 337
        Anonymous says:

        Maybe 992,273 Londoners are sick of having useless twats in 10 and 11 Downing Street.

        £140 billion borrowed by Osborne as he couldn’t get the econonmy to grow. This from the govt ‘clearing up the debt crisis left by the last govt.’

        Like

        • 374
          I Remember You Hoo says:

          Of course the 992,273 who voted for Livingstone suffer from total amnesia regarding the previous useless twats in numbers 10 and 11, both of whom were Labour dullards. The main three parties are all populated by oafs, who don’t give a fcuk. If you can’t see that, you can’t see anything.

          Like

    • 204
      Ricahrd Timney says:

      Don’t you mean: fist again?

      Like

    • 221
      AC1 says:

      Le Grasper must be gutted
      Rejoice!

      Like

  2. 2
    Ah! Monika ( BBC () says:

    A British Polititian who tried to protect his voters being mauled by captive cheetah tells how the animals then turned on him

    Like

    • 91
      Osric Testicles says:

      The emerging force of UKIP?!?! Let’s look at the rankings from 6th to 10th:

      Green: 40 councillors, up 11
      Residents Association: 21 councillors, up 5
      UKIP: 9 councillors, up 0
      Independent Health and Community Concern: 5 councillors, up 3
      Respect: 5 councillors, up 5

      Must be a few cardigan wearing combovers just a little redder in the face than they were yesterday.

      Like

      • 102
        amongymous says:

        Strange post. You’re trying to say you wear a cardigan and have a comb-over and have a red face. Sucks for you mate, assume you never get laid.

        Since you bring them up, good night for UKIP, vote up across the country, many young people support them and the Conservatives now fear being beaten by UKIP in european elections (ukip already beat labour and lib dims).

        Like

        • 180
          William McBuggerall says:

          They might be singing
          But UKIP’s result is minging
          It’s not the battles that decide your fate
          You lost the f.ucking war,mate!

          Like

          • I Remember You Hoo says:

            You think the war is over? Dream on, the battle is only just starting and you are on the wrong side of history already.

            Like

          • Mars Attacks says:

            Yep – Have you watched the last scenes of Downfall. Best shout the subtitles to Nige – I think he’s coming in to land again.

            How’s that educational fund IN EUROS going for y’all?

            Wrong side of history? What you irrelevant UKIP tw.ats don’t get is that the writing of history IS the prerogative of the victor – remind us how you did?

            Not the odd skirmish, but the war on seats? Oh yeah – 0. So, just like Liverpool FC, still trying to make half a ball across the line into a goal.

            Good luck with that, tw.at.

            Like

      • 106
        rocknrolla says:

        Haha, sore loser. You’re a twat – UKIP polled higher throughout the country and now has a fast growing young membership. Sorry grand-dad, with your comb-over and cardigan you’re already the past.

        Like

        • 117
          Osric Testicles says:

          Ooh as touchy about my post as you are about your combover. Good.

          Check out the figures again if your bulging eyes will allow you to see clearly.
          UKIP flopped despite all the flaccid hype.

          And you demonstrate what a thin skinned bunch of over the hill heart attacks in waiting you actually are.

          Smashing.

          Like

          • AC1 says:

            “Votes up = Flop”.

            Yeeerrs…{In a paxmanesque voice}

            You are Gordon Brown and I claim my 5 pounds of special drawing rights.

            Like

          • rocknrolla says:

            So you’re not only saying you have a comb-over but you are at risk of a heart attack. We all know the kind of old people who hate UKIP. You need help my friend.

            Like

      • 219
        jimbojones says:

        Admit it Osric Testicles you not only have a bad comb over but you also wet the bed you got so upset when UKIP beat Labour in the european elections.

        Like

  3. 3
    JACQUI SMITH ENORMOUS FAT TROUGHER says:

    Boris said “London is a city of 8 million people
    he polled 900,000 votes , i make that less than 9% of people want him
    not much of an endorsement really !

    Like

    • 84
      UKIPMAN says:

      Much less of an endorsement for the whole tawdry political system where more and more power is now held by unaccountable, nameless people on the continent of Europe. But hey they throw us a few fish now and again so why complain?

      Like

    • 100
      smoggie says:

      Not everyone in London is over 18 – first mistake.

      Like

    • 103
      Ah! Monika says:

      I’ll think you’ll find that under 18 yr olds cannot vote ( well not legally )

      Use your i Pad Jacquie and recalculate.

      Like

    • 158
      Forkbender says:

      Now that is strange, a few years ago London was approx 10 Million in that case the indigenous population is decreasing the numbers held up by the numbers of foreigners settling in and around London, I suppose someone has to do the dirty jobs

      Like

      • 377
        Really? says:

        You imagine they are working? Oh dear, you have had a politically correct brain washing. Here are a couple of facts.

        50% of M*sl*m men and 75% of M*sl*m women have never worked and live entirely on benefits.

        Like

    • 244

      Your maths are about as good as your politics, Fat Jac.

      Like

    • 326
      Back door job says:

      Calm down dear.

      People recognise that Boris is a cun*t, but he’s less of a cun*t than anything else on offer.

      Like

  4. 4
    Fifth column Camaron says:

    The question now is, can someone be the Mayor of London AND the leader of the Tory Party at the same time?

    Like

    • 14
      By Passer says:

      Yes! – fuck OFF CAMERLOON!! – go back to smooth-talking double-glazing salesman or whatever you were doing before some idiots found you.

      Like

      • 47
        Unaligned voter says:

        No, that’s his Chancellor innit?

        Like

      • 108
        Anonymous says:

        Let Cameron compete with Clegg for the leadership of the Lib-Dems. He never was a Tory.

        Like

        • 159
          Forkbender says:

          But are you sure Cleggie was really a LibDem and not a Con

          Like

          • Hang The Bastards says:

            Cameron is ideally suited to be leader of the LimpDumbs

            Like

          • I Remember You Hoo says:

            The leaders of all the LabLibCon are interchangable robots. None could care less than they do about shitting on the British people. Once you work that out, the rest is simple.

            Like

    • 101
      smoggie says:

      ..AND write a column for The Telegraph. No I don’t think there’s enough hours in the day.

      Like

      • 122
        AC1 says:

        Hopefully he’d be busy abolishing stupid laws (see 1997-2008).

        Like

        • 164
          Forkbender says:

          Sorry no chance of that, they laws of England and Wales are in a mess, laws dating back 100’s years are still in force (Scotland and Northern Ireland have their own systems

          Like

  5. 5
    Anonymous says:

    so Boris wins on 19.89% of the total population of London eligible to vote

    Great!!

    Given the population of London is about 400 million that makes 18 people voted for him

    Democracy at work in good old Blighty

    Like

    • 8
      Fifth column Camaron says:

      But at least they were ‘real’ people….

      Like

    • 10
      Yes we Ken says:

      400 million ? Do your sums !

      Like

    • 12
      AC1 says:

      One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.
      Plato

      Like

    • 32

      Given the population of London is about 400,000,000…..
      Increase your medication.

      Like

    • 64
      Penfold says:

      Even Blair’s so-called landslide in ’97 only resulted in a 30% vote for NuLab of the total electorate. Hardly a mandate and hardly stunning, but please, do recall the horrendous economic/fiscal carnage that was wreaked in our names.

      Like

      • 68
        jgm2 says:

        Don’t forget the social carnage. And the actual carnage carnage that was wreaked in our name.

        As you say – with a ‘mandate’ from no more than 25% of the eligible voters.

        Like

      • 105
        BBC News says:

        It was a glorious day when the entire country came together to welcome the dawn of New Labour and the end of slavery and oppression. Britain was then culturally enriched (ongoing project, to be completed 2045) and the NHS was saved. The people rejoiced.

        Like

    • 81
      Jeffrey Bernard says:

      You sound like Tim Donovan, the doughty defender of impartial public service broadcasting

      Like

    • 90
      Sir Keith Josephs Preserved Head says:

      Seriously… Polls put Boris 6% ahead… but the margin was much much tighter. I know polls can be out but…
      The government can’t just breath a sigh of relief but has got to look at this and ask about the postal votes thing and do something about it…
      Realistically it’s in Labour’s interests too because it could be turned against them

      Like

      • 111
        Anonymous says:

        Hasn’t that already happened in Bradford and Tower Hamlets?

        Like

      • 114
        Anonymous says:

        How many boxes of votes for Ken were added when the lights were out, the systems down and builders were moving around? Not quite enough it seems.

        Like

        • 157
          Expat Geordie says:

          Nothing new there. In the 1987 General Election the Conservatives were giving Labour the runaround in the traditionally safe Labour seat of Bishop Auckland. Had the votes been counted their, on their own, then the tories would have got in as their candidate got more votes than the Labour MP had got in the 83 election. However the votes were counted in Sedgefield, along with votes for the Sedgefield constituency. Labour won in Bishop Auckland by just over 6,000 votes. There were “stories” of votes moving from Sedgefield to Bishop and then back again.

          I understand that Durham Police got involved but were advised to let sleeping dogs lie.

          Like

          • Disgruntled Sheffielder says:

            Labour re always suspect in elections. We had the case some years ago about a ballot box being ‘found’ in the back of a Labour Councillors car the day after the election. He said he had been taking it to the count but forgot it was there! Nothing happened.

            Like

          • Terrytory says:

            I remember that case. There was clear evidence of jiggery pokery, or even hickery dickery going on when the boxes were opened at, I think, Newton Aycliffe Leisure Centre, but noone, not the returning officer, nor the police were interested. Especially since the MP for Sedgefield happened to be Tont Blair.

            Like

        • 267
          Uncle Joe says:

          My thoughts exactly . Hard to believe it would happen in Brent and Harrow

          Like

          • I Remember You Hoo says:

            Brent and Harrow are now extremely culturally enriched areas of London and Harrow has one of the biggest M*s ques in the entire country. Work the rest out for yourself.

            Like

  6. 6
    I fucking hate the bbc says:

    Thankfully this news came too late for last nights main bulletins and too early for tomorrow

    Like

  7. 7
    smoggie says:

    Ken’s failure was that he was too interested in his own company’s profit (may a piece be upon him).

    Like

  8. 9
    I fucking hate the bbc says:

    Yes 39per cent on a turnout of 30 with only a quarter of councils voting means ed has a huge mandate and liebour are back

    Like

    • 73
      CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

      Exactly! 39% was the London turn-out which had more public interest because of the Mayoral race. I suspect the average turn-out in the rest of the country won’t even hit 30%. The media have been dying for the “Labour on the way back” narrative, for 2 years. Last May’s elections surprised the hell out them when the Tories increased their number of seats. This time, without the boost in turn-out of Tory voters due to the AV referendum, the government suffered what all governments suffer with, mid-term drubbing in local elections, because of low turn-out protesting. Local elections aren’t about people voting, they are about people not voting. Most of the people who decide general elections don’t bother to vote in local elections.

      There is no analysis from the MSM on historical precedence, turn-out or the fact that these elections were held in a lot of urban areas, where the Tories don’t expect much support, especially mid-term.

      The left-wing media, like the BBC, claim it’s Labour on the road back to power because of the nasty Tories and right-wing commentators, like this blog claim it’s because the Conservatives are not sounding like UKRAP!

      They are both wrong! These results are, according to any historical precedence, entirely to be expected. Former Conservative voters haven’t gone to Liebour or to UKRAP they just stayed at home!

      Like

      • 146
        East India Company Wallah says:

        Plus a lot of natural tories (the elderly) did not vote because it piddled down rain in torrents from dawn til dusk-pure north atlantic misery

        Like

      • 200
        Anonymous says:

        Council election turnout is rarely much above 30% so nothing new there.

        Like

        • 240
          Mars Attacks says:

          So, at 39%, the London vote was 33% up on the norm, and Boris won?
          How was this anything but a victory for the Tories?
          Not Liebour. Not Ukrap. Not Hugh Paddick and his friend Julian.
          Get the f.uck over it.

          Like

      • 384
        FuckKen says:

        very good post

        Like

  9. 11
    AC1 says:

    Try and work a bit harder this time Boris.

    Like

    • 29
      jgm2 says:

      Less is more from politicians.

      It’s when they’re trying to look busy and give ‘value for money’ that hey do the most damage. Remember the Imbecility?

      Like

      • 36

        I will never forget him – or forgive him.

        Like

      • 94
        AC1 says:

        But he has to do some stuff, and putting a bit more thought and effort into it rather than photo ops might be useful.

        One good thing is that the thought of losing their phony ballony jobs has made them do something i.e. getting something finally built on wasteland (*It was something useful until they knocked it down to something nearly a decade ago) near here.

        Elections every 1 year I think, or perhaps every 6 months.

        Like

    • 31
      Unaligned voter says:

      Some chance!

      Like

    • 329
      Back door job says:

      Boris is always on the job

      Like

  10. 15
    Truth says:

    Ken was a bitter and twisted last night, Boris was class.

    When a candidate starts blaming the media then you know they lost it.

    At least Ken promised that this was he last election, just like he promised to pubish his taxes…

    Like

    • 21
      beeny says:

      Ken is a fucking piece of work. The BBC done him a favour by sparing him a grilling over his taxes on national television, and he knows it, duplicitous little shit that he is.

      Like

      • 37
        A corrupt BBC/Labour cunt says:

        Exactly right

        We cancelled the radio phone ins on R4 and of course the QT slot

        Sadly London has too many right wing, English filth left in it

        Like

        • 43
          Let there be pigs on every street corner says:

          Yup – with real swine in them – Essex saddlebacks and all the old breeds. Turn London really green with pigstyes, grazing meadows – having first torn down all the concrete rubbish.

          Like

          • jgm2 says:

            You’r more likely to end up with ‘em slaughtering goats in the middle of the street for Eid.

            Like

          • Pig Man says:

            Ah – never gave that a thought!

            Flocks of goats jumping o’er the heaps of concrete rubble – hardly an idyllic scene, but it’ll do – and I’m fond of goats too.

            Yup, – I’ll go with the livestock, but NOT with the Religion of Piss! or those who promulgate it – no Peace to them!

            Like

      • 45
        jgm2 says:

        Ken knew what he was doing. Manufacturing an excuse not to attend by refusing to share a platform with the B&P. And if the B&P bloke had refused to share a platform with terrorist sympathisers like Ken – would the BBC have called it off?

        Ken is like Brown is like Ned Miliband is like Ned Balls. The more voters see of the bedwetters the less likely they are to vote for them.

        Like

        • 209
          Anonymous says:

          If only that were true. Even after all the bad publicity for Ken over the last few weeks, he still managed to get within 3 points of a win. I find that incredible and a portent of how shit London will become in the ensuing years when Labour mange to field someone less toxic than Ken. The demographics in Londo are heading only one way and it’s not a race to the top.

          Like

          • Uncle Joe says:

            Labour mange? A bit hard even for those weasels.

            Like

          • CYNICAL OLD MAN says:

            Don’t forget that a sizeable portion of the population of London come from countries where political corruption – in fact corruption in general – is part of the culture. They expect anyone in authority to be corrupt so allegations of criminality and misconduct in office leave them unmoved. All they care about is sharing in the proceeds of corruption. Why do you think electoral fraud is endemic in immigrant communities?

            Another fine example of multi-culti enrichment.

            Like

          • FuckKen says:

            Well said, cynical old man

            Like

    • 109
      Sir Keith Josephs Preserved Head says:

      Did anyone else think Ken was a bit tired and emotional last night?

      Like

    • 391
      I hate Tesco AND the Pope says:

      Truth – come on. A candidate? THEY lost it? Singular subject. Singular verb – that’s how you write correctly. A candidate. HE lost it. He’s a singular bloke. OK? You guys who were educated without learning basic skills should sue the government. Germans, taught English in German schools, can speak and write English better than at least 50% of the British population. The same goes for Scandinavian education.

      Like

  11. 17
    The Bacon of Islum won't be coming to Londistan quite yet says:

    But we can hand-out bacon butties

    Like

    • 25
      Jimmy the Dhimmi says:

      The religion of piss will be back, next time with more postals.

      Like

      • 107
        Anonymous says:

        Their ‘prophet’ Muhammed may not have existed.

        See this very interesting book:

        Watch a couple of Muslim crazies ignore the concept of historical evidence, and resort to circular argument in this debate with the author:

        http://www.jihadwatch.org/2012/05/video-robert-spencer-and-david-wood-debate-anjem-choudary-and-omar-bakri-did-muhammad-exist.html

        Like

        • 201
          jgm2 says:

          I think that there’s very little doubt that Mohammed existed. After all he was around in 600AD (ish) and I believe there’s a reasonable amount of contemporary writings from the period which survive.

          The issue is whether or not, when he repaired to his tent every evening with the fresh geopolitical question of the day at the front of his mind, God would manifest himself with the answer.

          Some might suggest that it says much about Mohammed that 99% of the important issues he put to God during these nightly personal audiences involved whose wife, daughter or cousin he could shag next. You don’t have to be too much of a cynic to suggest that he made the whole fucking thing up and that the thugs he surrounded himself with were making too much money and shagging so many women that they were happy to go along with the bullshit.

          Like

          • Expat Geordie says:

            How did you get that one past the moderators? I’ve just posted something similar and I didn’t even get a “Your comment is awaiting moderation” message. It just disappeared.

            Like

          • Expat Geordie says:

            I don’t believe it! I’ve just been modded for saying that I’ve been modded!

            Like

          • AC1 says:

            Díd Muhámmád éxíst? révéáls:

            Hów thé éárlíést bíógráphícál mátéríál ábóut Muhámmád dátés fróm át léást 125 yéárs áftér hís répórtéd déáth
            Hów síx décádés pásséd béfóré thé árábíán cónquérórs—ór thé péóplé théy cónquéréd—évén méntíónéd Muhámmád, thé Qur’án, ór íslám
            Thé stártlíng évídéncé thát thé Qur’án wás cónstructéd fróm éxístíng mátéríáls—íncludíng pré-íslámíc Chrístíán téxts
            Hów évén Muslím schólárs ácknówlédgé thát cóuntléss répórts óf Muhámmád’s dééds wéré fábrícátéd
            Why á fámóus mósqué ínscríptíón máy référ nót tó Muhámmád but, ástóníshíngly, tó Jésus
            Hów thé óldést récórds référríng tó á mán náméd Muhámmád béár líttlé résémbláncé tó thé nów-stándárd íslámíc áccóunt óf thé lífé óf thé próphét
            Thé mány índícátíóns thát árábíán léádérs fáshíónéd íslám fór pólítícál réásóns

            Like

          • AC1 says:

            I think I’ll wait until it gets cheaper on kindle before I have a read.

            Like

        • 205
          Expat Geordie says:

          Always wondered about that. God gave the Jews the Ten Commandments via Moses. He gave the Christians their message through his son, Jesus. Yet he gave the muzzies their message through an illiterate, kiddie fiddling, camel sha.gger in a dream. Says it all, really.

          Like

          • Jimmy says:

            Apparently Santa isn’t real either.

            Like

          • I Remember You Hoo says:

            The hundreds of thousands of postal votes are very re@l though eh Jimmy? Miraculously all of them go to just one party, well two now Respect are seen as the rel*gi*n of piss devotees, alternate option.

            Like

          • Expat Geordie says:

            Try again, since my last post just bloody disappeared AGAIN.

            Okay Jimmy, so Santa doesn’t exist. Cards on the table, I’m an agnostic, leaning towards belief as I get older. However, for the sake of argument lets assume that all religions are just fairy stories and that there is no afterlife.

            Wouldn’t any religion want a fantastic opening story to explain everything? Something that explains why their religion is top dog, or the dogs bollocks? Why would any religion want to claim to be started by someone who you wouldn’t want to be left alone with your kids?

            Like

          • Mars Attacks says:

            And if you clap really loudly, Tinkerbell will live!!

            Religion – I shit it.

            Like

  12. 24
    The Bard of Tower Hamlets says:

    So long, then, Q’en Livingscum
    Though I expect to see you on my TV
    Courtesy of the BBC
    Quite often.

    Like

    • 30
      Red Ken Lyingscum says:

      You will also hear me spouting Trotskyite drivel on Iranian TV.

      Like

    • 42
      HMRC says:

      HIGNFY gives about £2000 fee for an appearance I believe. Nice work if you can get it. Ken has appeared 9 times over the years, go figure.

      Like

    • 46
      HMRC says:

      HIGNFY gives about £2000 fee per guest slot I believe. Nice work if you can get it. Ken’s been on 9 times over the years, go figure.

      Like

      • 60
        jgm2 says:

        I don’t remember Ken ever being on. Hislop must take him to pieces.

        Like

        • 299
          wickidicki says:

          Boris has been on 7 times.

          Like

          • I Remember You Hoo says:

            At least Boris has a sense of humour and can take a bit of a piss take with a smile. Livingstone on the other hand, has only his bad temper and poisonous ideology, to keep him company.

            Like

  13. 26
    Legal Crook says:

    Just seen a News ken interview, still claiming he is by far the best, the crooked **** will never admit anything, just lies, lies…………………………….

    Like

  14. 33
    A corrupt BBC/Labour cunt says:

    What a statesman Mr Livingstone is

    Like

    • 38
      Inspired by the Daleks says:

      I’d like to see him in a very DISociated state

      Like

    • 93
    • 124
      genghiz the kahn says:

      Livingstone is such a good statesman that he can’t keep his tax affairs in order.

      If he doesn’t understand his own finances why expect him to keep abreast of those in London.

      Like

    • 138
      Shakey from Stratford-upon-Avon says:

      “What a piece of work is a man…” Well. Ken’s a piece of something, that’s for sure.

      Like

  15. 35
    Calamity Clegg says:

    Another FibDem triumph ! Do you think the people have rumbled us for the liars we are ?

    Like

  16. 44
    Bogeyman says:

    Nice typo in the Grauniad under a picture of Leninslime:

    “It’s hard to imagine a figure so big and so immersed in London politics as Ken Livingstone disappearing from them yet.” Photograph: Denis Jones / Associated Newspap

    Like

  17. 47
    Dumb Tory voter says:

    I want Bufoon Boris as Prime Minsiter

    The Omishambles will then become a total farce

    And ridiculous Farage as Deputy Prime

    Britain would then become the laughing stock of the world

    Like

    • 54
      jgm2 says:

      Unlike when our PM was chasing Omaha Beach around a hotel kitchen you mean?

      Like

      • 66
        Infuriated of West Mids says:

        That image never stops being funny. But painful.

        Like

      • 353
        Expat Geordie says:

        I see that Barry Obama upset a lot of people doing something similar. When talking about the United States Marine Corps he pronounced it CORPSE and not CORE. He’s only meant to be Commander-In-Chief.

        Like

    • 56
      Legal Crook says:

      Bliar/Brown have already achieved us being the laughing stock of the world.

      Like

    • 62
      David one-term Cameron says:

      Been there, done that.

      Like

      • 116
        Anonymous says:

        Does Cameron have to lose even more badly at the next general election before he can be replaced by Boris?

        Like

    • 65
      Joss Ayinglike says:

      Labour will just have to get accustomed to losing with good grace.

      Like

    • 69
      beeny says:

      There already over here laughing all the way to the benefits office mate.

      Like

    • 172
      Hang The Bastards says:

      Oooohhhh looks like Dumb Tory is a tad jealous and masquerading as a real Tory.

      A Boris / Farage combo would be unstobble. THINGS WOULD GET DONE !!!

      Just think, no waste, real tax cuts, UK setting its own policies and direction, strong borders. ….. Bliss… Bring it on.

      Like

      • 304
        Marion the cat says:

        Boris will replace Cameron as leader, probably get to be PM by the next GE. UKIP may even become the third biggest party but Farage would never become someone else’s helpmeet. Ain’t gonna happen.

        Like

  18. 50
    Penfold says:

    Perhaps now Boris may let slip the dogs of war on Ken for his tax dodging and illegal political funding.

    But deep joy that Boris has pulled it orff, anxiety attacks over……….

    Like

    • 184
      Mr Slater says:

      Indeed. Last night’s impromptu performance of ‘Tower Hamlet’ by the Unison Boxstuffer’s Subsection Theater Collective came so dreadfully close to clandestinely reinstating the ‘eau de DDR’ awfulness of Livingstone’s grim, nasal heyday that I had to cover up my Parrot’s cage to prevent him from spontaneously moulting from the sheer anguish and horror of it all.

      This morning, on hearing the thankful, if close-run, news, I removed the towel from his cage and let the old fellah safely watch the re-plays of Boris’ acceptance speech on the television. He’s now squawking away happily on his day-stand, beaking down hard on a brazil nut, and chirruping ‘Rejoice! Rejoice!’ in a strangely feminine yet resonant voice I can’t quite identify…

      Like

      • 268
        Living in 98 percent white Merseyside says:

        LOL!

        Like

      • 274
        Living in 98 percent white Merseyside says:

        Rejoice, rejoice – yes we have street parties and celebrations planned up here when a certain event happens – and I don’t mean the Diamond Jubilee!

        Like

  19. 53

    Did Ken ever produce those accounts in the end?

    Like

  20. 67
    Lee Jasper says:

    Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuckety-fuck. Fuck. etc

    Like

  21. 72
    Gordon Brown, alias Mongo el Loco Escoces says:

    !Feliz Cinco de Mayo, Reino Unido! !Ay ay ay ay ay ay! !Tequila!

    Like

  22. 74
    Ah! Monika ( Telegraph ) says:

    Ken living, stoned in fear!

    Religious butchering now commonplace in Britain

    Like

  23. 76
    Well it's a thought says:

    Got some Liebour “woman” on BBC, seems the violins are needed, the crap she’s spouting is unbelievable.

    Like

  24. 77

    If you don’t want to watch the video

    Boris : I’d like to genuinely thank Ken for all the work he’s done over the years for London

    Ken: I’d just like to take this opportunity to slag off Boris. The Evening Standard. London transport. Those cretins who sent the postal votes 2nd class instead of 1st Large letter. Isr/ael. The BBC. Sky. Andrew Gilligan..Her Majesty’s Revenue & Customs. Guido. The media in general. The Labour party. Tony Blair. Boris again,..Thatcher…..The church..Facebook…the internet…cars…the weather… people who didn’t vote for me..anyone that’s used a Boris bike..The unions…Harry Redknapp..benefit fraudsters who are too stupid to know what’s good for them… pop music..the permissive society..the lack of decent socialist-marxist values in a city of hedonistic party goers. I’d like to blame Cameron, Clegg, the recession. Buses.. champagne socialists..the Evening Standard again.. Metro… The EU..Eric Pickles… Cab drivers.. Platform heels..The Green party… Bankers…capitalism…The Queen..
    TFL… Nandos… UKIP…I-phones…celebrity endorsements…The Economist…Freeview…Daily Mail…ITV … Chelsea FC… 2 for 1 deals …Estate agents..hosepipes..Benita..Tom Watson..Cat lovers..every Labour member who gained a labour councilor seat and made me look bad..Scotland..global warming..

    {cont for 3 hours}

    Like

    • 126
      genghiz the kahn says:

      +10.

      Like

      • 160
        Red Ken says:

        Still going long after the media has gone home.

        “I’d also like to blame …. America. A listers…Aslef..Argos and Abbott..who could have done a lot more.

        Which brings me onto the next letter of my blame alphabet – B. …Boris..Blue peter..blue suede shoes..blueband margarine…the blue oyster cult..the blues..bluberry..blue bloods..That subliminal vote Boris message that cebeebies use…you know..Iggle piggle..he’s BLUE! How biassed is that? .. BBC…Bankers..This is going to be a long one folks….bums..beatnicks..bears..”

        Like

    • 190
      The Boris Johnson Comedy Hour says:

      I’d like to say once again how I have always had good things to say about Ken and no one connected with me has ever said anything rude about him. This campaign was entirely about policy.

      Like

    • 287
      Pickled Wizard says:

      You forgot trees, buckets and Cornwall

      Like

    • 288
      Pickled Wizard says:

      {cont for 3 hours} – no, ken will be a cont for much longer than that

      Like

    • 324
      The lumpen proletariat says:

      Superb!

      Like

  25. 78
    Sir Keith Josephs Preserved Head says:

    Are we going to see Baron Livingstone of Brent now ?

    Like

    • 80
      Well it's a thought says:

      What do you think?, seems these Liebour politicians shout and yell about being a toff but soon jump onto the £400 a day expenses bandwagon.

      Like

      • 82
        Sir Keith Josephs Preserved Head says:

        well I can imagine a great punch up in the bogs between Lords Sugar and Livingstone

        Like

        • 86
          pompous arse says:

          surely Ken wouldnt demean himself to take a title….surely not. I mean Prescott didnt…

          Like

          • Airey Belvoir says:

            Ken will now be a fixture on every BBC political programme, competing for appearance fees with big Jacqui and Diane Flabbott. I will keep the remote very close for rapid switch-off.

            Like

          • Back door job says:

            He’ll need to bulk up in the top bollocks area to compete with those two babes.

            Like

        • 290
          Pickled Wizard says:

          My moneys on Al

          Like

    • 123
      Anonymous says:

      … or, of Bent?

      Like

  26. 83
    Thank God says:

    Ken has gone, now we need to get rid of Red Ed and his goons.

    Like

    • 88
      Golly says:

      We should be rejoicing at this good news.

      The serious work starts now for DCI Knacker of Scotland Yard.

      If its a rip off give him a tip off!

      Like

    • 92
      Bluebottle says:

      You should leave Red Ed alone.

      He is doing an excellent job losing the next election.

      The bbc seem to be forgetting about boundary changes.

      Like

    • 115
      South of the M4 says:

      Cameron appears to be working hard to make Red Ed – one of the principle architects of the destruction of the UK economy – electable. Quite an achievement.

      Like

    • 325
      The lumpen proletariat says:

      Yes, let’s make omelettes!

      Like

  27. 104
    old grumpfy says:

    Well done Boris! But ONLY a 60-odd thousand majority?……….. Horrible Harperson is not impressed!

    HeHe!

    Like

    • 129
      Thank God says:

      Clearly another 60,000 Abduls need to be let through Heathrow quickly.

      Like

      • 140
        Harriet The Horrible says:

        ..we would have got away with the election rigging too..if it wasn’t for those tossers at border control not processing the ‘vote labour’ queue fast enough.

        Like

        • 281
          Marmite says:

          I know Hatty, it’s a bummer isn’t it? Bad losers or what?

          By the way Hatty, the expensive wrinkle cre*m’s not working. Try Polyfiller (and stick some in your gob while you’re at it).

          Like

  28. 110
    Guardian says:

    Like

  29. 113
    Thank God says:

    Last thing Boris needs to do is be photographed with Cameron.

    Like

  30. 118
    jgm2 says:

    May the fourth be with you.

    Good old Boris.

    Like

  31. 119
    Marie_Kent says:

    I’m off to Boris Island

    Like

  32. 127
    Ah! Monika says:

    To all those who call Boris a buffoon.

    1. If you’re so bright, why waste you time posting on here. Get yourself elected.

    2. Take a long hard look at Boris, his background, his education, his experience and his performance over the past 4 years. Some buffoon.

    3. 1 million people tend not to agree with you.

    4. Name another politician who speaks English not Soundbite.

    5. Criticise his policies, if you can name one.

    6. Go back to 1. and start over.

    Like

    • 226
      AC1 says:

      2. Take a long hard look at Boris, his background, his education, his experience and his performance over the past 4 years. Some buffoon.

      He’s not done much.

      5. Criticise his policies, if you can name one.

      Automate the Tube GREAT!
      Starting in 2020! WTF?!?

      Like

  33. 130
    You know it makes sense says:

    Now hopefully we will never be forced to listen or see Red Ken ever again and his nauseating nasal whinging

    Like

    • 155
      Pallas Athene says:

      Even in he wasn’t a tax-dodging lefty arsehole, I could never bring myself to vote for that voice.

      Like

      • 283
        Marmite says:

        I think Livinscum & that effin awful Steve McCabe have the same spe*ch therapist.

        Like

        • 310
          Tachybaptus says:

          Steve McCabe is my girlfriend’s MP. She is disabled (genuinely), and has a Blue Badge for her car. When the badge was due for replacement, the council made a complete balls-up of the procedure, and then gave her the run-around for the next three months as she tried to get the permit (and had to spend hundreds of pounds on taxis). Finally, when all else had failed, she wrote to McCabe. Prompt response from him; in a few days she got her permit, and even a weaselly letter from the council sort of half apologising for not sending it earlier. So hats off to McCabe, and who cares what his voice sounds like?

          Like

          • Expat Geordie says:

            Fair play to him, but MP’s are meant to be the peoples’ representitives in Parliament, not glorified social workers. Again, good for him for sorting out the problem, but it also highlights the problem that MP’s are not doing their job properly.

            Like

  34. 133
    Green loon says:

    Jolly Jenny Jones.

    well … that’s the end of me.

    Like

  35. 134
    Ah! Monika says:

    Cut the scams.

    Postal votes should require a first class stamp.

    Like

  36. 135

    What Ken is doing today?

    Like

  37. 139
    Most memorable event says:

    The Prize for the best event / achievement over the elections must go to the Egg Man for his splattering of Ed.

    Next time Ed wear a shell suit.

    Like

  38. 141
    nellnewman says:

    Sop ken’s political career has come to an ignominious end with his accounts safely hidden away from public scrutiny.

    And I get a feeling that Boris’s career has just taken a new turn for the better and is likely to lead on to bigger things in the years ahead when cameron, cleggie and militwit have bitten the dust.

    Like

    • 166

      We did say that he would not reveal those accounts. If he had come clean some MP would have demanded HMRC become involved as there was rule breaking or tax evasion one way or the other.

      This way he he can console himself on his defeat with the knowledge that he saved himself from a £70,000+ tax bill.

      Like

  39. 142
    Make Cameron history says:

    Can we get Ben Howlett to check if Cameron is actually a paid-up member of the Conservative party ?

    Like

    • 151
      maggie the dog says:

      Does he know what a conservative is the toff twat

      Like

      • 335
        Back door job says:

        He chooses not to mix in those sort of circles: they tend to be full of the most ghastly lower middle class types.

        Like

  40. 143
    Ali Raheem says:

    I thought I had to sending the poster votes yesterday. Sorry Mr Ken. Forgiveness please.

    Like

  41. 144
    Anonymous says:

    Any good ones about Louise Mensch today?

    Like

  42. 145
    Rejoice! says:

    A magnificent electoral triumph for conservatives throughout the land. Everything going fine. Full steam ahead.

    Like

  43. 148
    Mike hunt says:

    Shame Liebour didn’t print enough postal votes.
    Hopefully this is the last time they will make such a difference.

    Like

  44. 149
    BBC Trust says:

    There’s a job coming up as Director General of the BBC.

    Ken Livingstone is just the sort of impartial chap we’re looking for.

    Like

  45. 154
    A good egg says:

    Why didn’t this get more coverage yesterday?

    Like

  46. 156
    Ah! Monika says:

    Can somebody ask Diane to comment.

    Usain Bolt in race row as Jamaicans accuse him suffering from ‘white woman complex’ because of his fashion designer girlfriend

    Like

    • 161
      Expat Geordie says:

      What would they have said if he was going out with a white Jamaican woman though?

      Like

    • 165
      Thank God says:

      BBC are only upset he’s not dating a man.

      Like

    • 187
      UKIPMAN says:

      How many more times? Jamaicans can’t be racists. Nor can they be rapists, thieves or murderers.

      Like

      • 196
        ello ello ello... says:

        Can’t be racists, rapists, thieves or murderers! – Surely not – Isn’t that what The Met police can’t be convicted of … or any Constable acting behind his ACPO bosses’ cloak?

        Like

  47. 162
    Hang The Bastards says:

    Bye Bye Camoron !! We dont need leftie-tree hugging Wavey “Cast iron” Dave anymore.

    Until we get a true TORY like Boris leading the party, I’m staying with UKIP !

    Cameron is toast, and he deserves it, the shifty untrustworthy hypocritical bastard.

    Like

  48. 163
    Thank God says:

    Just watched some fat bird on the BBC interview some other fat bird from the Labour party. The two dykes should get a room together, it was pathetic, talk about a soft interview.

    Like

    • 171

      Do you hate posh Tories?

      – why yes..I do.

      Is it because they are so horrid and rich?

      – I think it is.

      And would you rather brave , handsome Ed Miliband was leader of the country?

      – I suppose so.

      Great. Thanks ..back to the studio.

      -Huw – That was Emily Maitliss interviewing Nadine Dorries..

      Like

    • 188
      annette curton says:

      Offas and Danes (dykes), just an idea I pulled out of the box, pushing the envelope for the next prime time BBC series, brief scenario… two seriously butch detectives working in a secret department of the Met get it together to solve back catalogue of crime, the Cagney and Lacey of the 21st century.

      Like

      • 197
        seriously butch detective says:

        I have explored the length of Offa’s Dyke on several occasions and, aside from a few empty Coke bottles and a couple having it off in an adjacent field, seen nothing of note. Will the BBC commission a six-part series?

        Like

      • 199
        Ken Loach says:

        If they can be northern lezzas I’ll make a very boring film about it.

        Like

        • 322
          Anonymous says:

          They have to be activists in the green movement and addicted to crack cocaine, both victims of patricidal rape by Tory dads who sold the resultant offspring of their incestuous unions to white South African slavers.

          Like

  49. 185
    • 189
      Chipping Norton Commando says:

      Fuck off you vacuous twat

      Like

    • 193
      annette curton says:

      Ah, cut to the chase, is he on Twitter?, breathless with anticipation.

      Like

    • 194
      jgm2 says:

      If he’s a Labour Councillor he was probably on the dole until yesterday.

      Like

    • 216
      English Liberation Front says:

      Something bogus about you and the midget. A Tory speaker married to a Labour cheerleader? Garn! One of you is faking it.

      Like

    • 238
      Gracie says:

      Sally, Sally pride of our alley……………..don’t ever wonder away from……

      Oh! Just fuck off

      Like

      • 296
        Pickled Wizard says:

        There was a tall girl called Sally
        who strips down the working mens palais
        you should hear the applause
        when she drops her drawers
        and the hair on her head doesn’t tally!

        Like

    • 266
      Reasonable Tory says:

      The whole problem with the so-called Tory Party at the moment (and for some years) is that it has opened itself up to all these class warfare attacks instead of having a man of the people as Leader

      Boris is no solution either

      He is just a Bufoon Etonian instead of Cameron, the Public Relations Etonian

      It was suicidal to get rid of Hague too soon

      And then to boot out Davies

      There is now nothing left of any quality for a generation (or ever)

      Like

      • 319
        Blazer says:

        the demise of grammar schools you might find has something to do with it!

        Like

        • 338
          Mike Hunt says:

          Sadly very true.

          Greatest Conservative PM since the war? and where was she educated – Grammar school. Even the previous one, bland but decent – Grammar School boy.

          This is what Williams and co wanted to do when they killed the grammars – prevent any chance of a proper Conservative PM.

          Like

  50. 192
    MandyPickleSniffer says:

    nice to see Gorgeous George choosing NOT to come to Ken’s rescue with all his Beacon of Islam votes….

    You aint getting any of MY muzzie votes Ken, bugger off, they’re all MY friends…get yer own muzzies!

    Like

    • 198
      jgm2 says:

      That Latfur Ratman or whatever his name is obviously can’t be relied on to produce enough voters. Yet.

      But Boris only won by 60,000 or so votes. In four years time there will almost certainly be another 60,000 extra cultural enrichers in London. It may be the T*ries last win in London. And another 10 or 15 years after that it’ll be Labour’s last ever win in London.

      Like

      • 217
        AC1 says:

        No election by then in post-democratic Euro region 7.

        Like

      • 232
        The cunt of Monte Cristo says:

        jgm, there is no ‘may’ be the last win for the Tories in London

        It will be the last win for a Tory in London……if Oona King had stood against him Boris would have been blown away.

        The Tories are being driven from large population centres relentlessly, despite Cameron’s five years of obsessing about green issues, and homosexual rights.

        Unless someone can fix Cameron’s malfunctioning political radar, the party will never be able to achieve a majority again.
        Too many people are voting for fringe parties now.

        Like

  51. 207
    He Could be right you know. says:

    Like

  52. 208
    jgm2 says:

    Just went over to Bedwetter Central via your link to Labour Uncut (is that the opposite of the Labour Friends of I*s*r*a*e*l?). They’re in a terrible fugue about how the leadership let them down – encouraging them to waste their time pounding the streets trying to get out the vote for Ken when the leadership had already given up hope months ago.

    Cheered me right up.

    Like

  53. 215
    BBC fear arab anger says:

    The BBC, scared of upsetting muslims, arabs and lefties, has banned comedy actor Sacha Baron Cohen from going on their talk shows in character as the fictional arab dictator he plays in his new film The Dictator. The BBC deny he’s been banned and say they prefer guests to come on shows as themselves, which completely contradicts the time they had Cohen on Parkinson in character as Ali G.

    The funnyman has already caused havoc at the Oscars as Admiral General Aladeen, who hails from the fictitious Middle Eastern country the Republic of Wadiya, and was hopping to plug the upcoming movie on TV and radio.

    The Graham Norton Show, The One Show, Newsnight and The Andrew Marr Show all passed on the chance to interview Cohen in character and he was also turned down for slots on Radio 1 and Radio 4. Aladeen told The Sun: ‘While I am a huge admirer of state-sponsored censorship, the BBC banning me from their meagre channels is an outrage. Why are they victimising little old me?’

    A spokesman for the BBC admitted that they would prefer to have Cohen on their shows as himself rather than in character. He said: ‘Our chat shows thrive on the spontaneous banter between guests and the presenter, something you don’t get when people come on as characters. We’d love to have Sacha on as himself.’

    http://www.metro.co.uk/film/898055-sacha-baron-cohens-the-dictator-banned-from-bbc-tv-and-radio-shows

    Like

  54. 223
    Ah! Monika says:

    Question Of The Day:-

    When Muslims tell lies…..are they called Porkies

    Like

  55. 230
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Has Livingstone provided all of his financial accounts yet?
    Has Ed Miliband declared who was at the Rudd event yet?
    The Livingstone supporters show what they stand for.
    Why did Miliband keep clear of London and Livingstone yesterday?
    Poor old Tessa Jowell, brain washed to the last.
    Diane Abbott, idiot to the masses.
    Emily Thornberry, sad spiteful loser.
    Was the BBC’s 2012 coverage of the council elections good use of license fee payers money?

    Like

  56. 231
    cityferret says:

    my libation cup runneth over

    Like

  57. 241
    Whats on Ruperts mind? says:

    Like

    • 242
      Louise says:

      FUCK OF TWATSON

      Like

    • 253
      Citizen Murdoch says:

      I presided over a criminal empire in the UK before they caight up with me

      Now, of course, it is the fault of “the management”, who I appointed, not the boss

      I am the boss

      I have spent “hundreds of millions of dollars” trying to clean all of this up

      Without realising that I was the source of it all

      ROFL

      And fuck you all

      Like

      • 303
        BBC PRAVDA says:

        Pay up your £145.50 you fucking plebs, or we’ll bang you up in prison, Labour propaganda doesn’t come cheap you know. BTW, shut down Sky News, The Sun and The Times, the filthy fuckers are making a profit by forcing people to buy their products. Just trust us to supply the truth.

        Like

  58. 246
    keredybretsa says:

    Congratters Boris….next stop number 10!!!

    Like

  59. 247
    Ah! Monika says:

    Jeremy for deputy.

    Jeremy Clarkson has risked outrage by suggesting that long queues for airport border control checks could be solved by “a bit of racism.”
    Clarkson, who is now notorious for his provocative comments, used his Sun newspaper column to wade into the controversy over passengers facing queues of up to three hours at Heathrow.
    He claimed that liberal attitudes prevented officials targeting only passengers deemed “high risk”.
    “You can’t get that sort of thing past the bleeding-heart liberals. They believe that … a hook-handed imam with fire in his heart and hatred in his eyes is just as likely to whip up anti-western sentiment as Joanna Lumley.”

    Like

    • 262
      anon says:

      Happens in Dubai. My wife and I were called out of a queue of Bangladeshis passing through. Best bit was my bro-in-law and his wife were not. LOL

      Like

  60. 251
    Abdel from Tooting says:

    I want to know why my new Mayor has been photographed on a non Boris bike this morning.

    Having spent a ton of our money on these Boris bokes I thought he would have been fully signed ulp to the scheme.

    Like

  61. 255
    Moral Collapse Blair says:

    You see what happens when I leave politics ?

    The whole place collapses

    LOL

    Like

  62. 258
    The English Libation Front says:

    We’re drinking as hard as we can FFS! can can can can can . . .. .. . …. …. . . . .

    .

    Like

  63. 279
    Uncle Joe says:

    I don’t give Jack.

    Like

  64. 280
    cityferret says:

    we like boris

    Like

  65. 297
    Moz Dee says:

    jaqui why all the vitriol against your fellow traveller ?

    Did you wish to stand for Mayor and were rescinded ??

    Or more probably are you living in fear that your saturday sinecure at LBC is threatened now Dying Rock has a need to reclaim it as his rightful lucre generating pension plan ??

    Like

  66. 300
    DDOS says:

    Shall we shut you down guido for not having the courage of your free journalistic convictions ?? …. Best …. Hackta la Ista

    Like

  67. 301
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m an urban myth and babe magnet.

    Like

  68. 302
    Gordon Brown says:

    300! Weeeeee!

    Like

  69. 305
    The Labour Party says:

    Like

  70. 313
    Fog on the Tyne says:

    If Dave the Tosser doesn’t get boundary changes in place and a grip on immigration and state handouts there won’t be any point in having elections. It’ll just be a permanent Labour/Respect coalition governing a bankrupt caliphate.

    Like

  71. 315
    Which way does George swing says:

    If Galloway has converted to the religion of peace he should state whether he is Sunni or Sh’ite

    That should alienate half his electorate (at least)

    Unless he is Alowite like his Syrian chums of course

    Like

  72. 316
    Which way does George swing says:

    If Galloway has converted to the religion of pe@ce he should state whether he is Sunni or Sh’ite

    That should alienate half his electorate (at least)

    Unless he is Alowite like his Syrian chums of course

    Reply

    Like

  73. 317
    the twatterati says:

    Hahahahaha…..twitter seems to be down with technical problems. Willy Wowden and Neo Guido will be having a nervous breakdown any time soon.

    Like

    • 346
      DON'T POST TWATTER SHIT HERE, FFS! says:

      Hopefully they’ll miss the ‘twatter experience’ so much they’ll top themselves.

      Like

  74. 320
    Ben Doon & Philip McKavity says:

    We like Dave and his policies

    Like

  75. 321
    Red Ken ( pond life ) Livingscum says:

    I’m off to spend more time with my Tax Advisers.

    Like

  76. 334
    The Deluded Tosser in No 10, like the Previous Deluded Tosser says:

    I say chaps!!! Ah’m just doing ma jobby! Tha’ Green Taxes an’ tha’ Windy Mills wa’ the right Thing Tae Dee!

    Like

  77. 342
    Über Comandante Merkel says:

    Can anyone put me in touch with Abdel from Tooting?

    I may need some help with zee votes for my lieutenant Nicholas Shortarsy.

    The new world order will be most gratefull and will allow Abdel and his hordes the UK.

    Like

  78. 350
    Ted Heath says:

    I feel
    It’s time I made a comeback

    Like

  79. 351
    Gordon Brown's Diary Extracts No 39 says:

    April the 26th 2012:

    This morning upon waking I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth as I usually do but to my horror I discovered no toothpaste left in the tube. Now being clever I remembered what Tony Blair me to do if this should ever happened. So following his good advice I stuck the toothbrush up my arse and gave it a good rummage before pulling it out with a pop! He was right, because there on the bristles of my toothbrush stood a proud ρea sized dollop of brown toothpaste. I smiled at myself in the mirror thinking how smart I was before quickly brushed my teeth. I always brush my teeth in the morning because Sarah says I have horrendous halitosis and this is the reason why she never kisses me… ever. Oddly enough though she never buys me any toothpaste either?

    Like

  80. 355
    Thank God says:

    So it begins, Nadine now saying Cameron and Osborne will be out if they don’t get a grip.

    Let’s hope finally the Tory right start kicking up a fucking fuss.

    Like

    • 359
      albacore says:

      So now it’s all over bar the shouting
      The blues and the yellows got a routing
      Although Boris just scraped in ahead of Ken
      Elsewhere it’s the reds’ turn to meddle again
      And a fat lot of difference that will make
      While Dave is the icing on the “Tory” cake

      Like

    • 362
      David one-term Cameron says:

      I’ll come good in the end.

      Like

  81. 357
    Tron says:

    Nadine Dorries just declared war on David Cameron on BBC R5L. I’ve never heard a Labour MP be so nasty about him. Was she drunk or is she joining UKIP?

    The BBC will play this endlessly.

    Like

  82. 361
    Fisting Jacqui Smith says:

    Two Kennies stuffed yesterday. Most satisfactorily.

    Like

  83. 364
    David 0ne-term Cameron says:

    You know what Ed Smith’s mistake was ? He didn’t start moving the deckchairs around soon enough.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/conservative/9248592/Battleplan-to-avert-Tory-war.html

    Like

  84. 365
    A small object of desire says:

    Clarkson being white, articulate and English again. The beeboid bedwetters must must squirm:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2140004/Jeremy-Clarkson-claims-delays-Heathrow-solved-bit-racism.html

    Like

    • 368
      You know it makes sense says:

      Yet again Mr Clarkson is spot on.

      Yet again UK Border (that’s an oxymoron) are incompetent, uselss, hopeless, and probably a bunch of bed wetters.

      Like

  85. 367
    Anonymous says:

    Some interesting voting figures from London. I hope posting them on here is ok because UKIP polling results are not listed anywhere, only lumped as “others”. Why would that be when you see they polled over 100,000 votes in London?

    LONDON WIDE VOTING BY PARTY
    Party/candidate Votes % +/- % since 2008
    Turnout: 2,215,008 (40.9%)
    Labour 911,204 41.1% +13.6%
    Conservatives 708,528 32% -2.6%
    Green Party 189,215 8.5% +0.1%
    Liberal Democrats 150,447 6.8% -4.6%
    UKIP 100,040 4.5% +2.6%
    BNP 47,024 2.1% -3.3%

    The beginning of the end for Cameron and Osbourne. Up to the budget they were doing sort of ok. Their, “give to the rich,soak the poor budget” was an unmitting disaster and will be their downfall. It has already started. Thatcher made work pay for those that wanted to work hard, and the rewards were there. But now Cameron and Osbournes’ taxes, spending and regulation, are everywhere, stifling job creation and productivity!

    Like

  86. 369
    Anonymous says:

    I was going to engage in a meaningful debate about the state of the nation ….. then I realised that is impossible here ….. then I started laughing out loud …..there’s no way you can engage with really thick, demented people who continually want to take the country back to slavery and the dark ages

    Like

    • 373
      Fur Trade Fare Trader Of Fair Trade Fair Trade says:

      Fairtrade: Is it really fair?
      As more than 70 countries celebrate World Fair Trade Day on Saturday, Sarah Morrison examines the scheme’s pros and cons.

      Independant

      Like

    • 379
      The Egress says:

      Come and get me, big boy.

      Like

    • 387
      the advanced stages of CiF says:

      Whereas Labour/Respect/Green will progress us to a new golden era? FGM and Solar cell Burkhas are the way forward.

      Like

  87. 370
    Anonymous's Twin Brother says:

    MPs and the Press and the State have all come in for much ridicule here. Yet what do we find? Everyone’s utter reliance on them for any meaning in their llives. What are lark!!!

    How’s the governmnet doing lately????

    Like

  88. 371
    Ah! Monika says:

    ? How do you get a potato into a Jerry-can?

    Caroline digs herself into a potato hole
    Stock up on potatoes. That’s what Caroline Spelman has been telling her Cabinet colleagues.
    Spelman, who has responsibility for agriculture, warned that the freak weather was going to hit the potato crop.
    As a result, she said, the price of them could soar this summer.
    Ministers were slightly incredulous. There were whispered jokes about a run on potatoes to rival last month’s one on petrol.

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-2140089/Why-Cleggs-crisis-Daves-best-hope-seeing-glad-confident-morning.html#ixzz1u4oh22Mk

    Like

  89. 375
    Anonymous says:

    Has Ken published his tax details yet?

    Like

  90. 393
    City of Vice says:

    That Green Party harpie standing next to Boris looks like she’s just swallowed a wasp. On election day I heard her on the radio rooting for a Livingstone victory. I guess there’s no room on the gravy train for her this time around now Boris has won. Greens = vegetarian socialists.

    Like


Seen Elsewhere

Boris Not Moving to Uxbridge | Scrapbook
Cameron Toast if Scotland Votes Yes | Isabel Oakeshott
How to Spin the Referendum Result | Rob Hutton
Anti-Immigration Party Lets Left Into Power | Mark Wallace
Tories Well Ahead on Economy | Standard
Madrid Unveils Margaret Thatcher Plaza | Breitbart
Journalists Are Not Above Criticism | Media Guido
Guido’s Column | Sun
Carney is a Feminist | Kathy Gyngell
Middle Class Moralism of Owen Jones | Spiked
Booze-Fuelled Fight at Palin Party | Times


VOTER-RECALL
Find out more about PLMR


Gyles Brandreth writes in his memoirs:

“Sunday, May 10, 1998

Early start: appearing on Breakfast With Frost, to be broadcast from 11 Downing Street. The Chancellor [Gordon Brown] is grouchily amiable, but so earnest — and still biting his fingernails to the quick.

After the show, he took us upstairs to his flat. He lives above No 10, while Blair and family are in the No 11 duplex, which is bigger and more like a proper house.

I was intrigued that, when he took us into his bedroom, the Chancellor rather ostentatiously opened the built-in wardrobes, as if he wanted us to see the women’s frocks that were hanging in there.

They looked quite large, but I don’t think they belong to Gordon. I assume they belong to his girlfriend [Sarah Macaulay, who he later married].

I presume he was keen for us to know that he has one — and that she’s not a ‘beard’. I don’t think he does anything without calculation.”



The British media are Hunts says:

Now the SNP know how UKIP voters feel all the time.


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